The Absent Minded

THE ABSENT MINDED
by
Joe Zarrow
Draft #7.3
20 Feb 2017 - New Colony Public Reading

© 2017, Joe Zarrow
jzarrow@gmail.com
joezarrow.com
CHARACTERS
BOYD M, 30ish. Lapsed Catholic. Any ethnicity.
MONICA F, 30ish. Jewish. Eastern European descent. Married to Boyd.
HOLLIS M, 30ish. Any ethnicity. Boyd's friend and business partner.
THE DOCTORS RAMEEN F, 30ish. Muslim. Middle Eastern or African descent. Triplets
who are Boyd's doctors throughout the play. From oldest to
youngest, they are the oncologist (AMINAH), the mad
neuroscientist (BEENISH), and the psychiatrist (KASHI).
They are all played by the same actor.
DRONE A remote-operated drone vehicle. This actor also plays THE

BODY, so should be male, but doesn't have to look like or be
the same ethnicity as BOYD.
The play strictly follows Boyd's perspective and his stream of consciousness. This accounts for the
fluidity of transitions. Additionally, despite the preponderance of bummers, the play should have
the forward propulsion of farce.
I am a thinking thing.
- Rene Descartes, Meditations on First Philosophy
We say: If a human is created all at once, created with his limbs separated and he does not see
them, and if it happens that he does not touch them and they do not touch each other, and he
hears no sound, he would be ignorant of the existence of the whole of his organs, but would know
the existence of his individual being as one thing, while being ignorant of all the former things.
What is itself the unknown is not the known.
- Avicenna, On Psychology
The Absent Minded, Draft #7.3, 20 Feb 2017 1
Fucking is just a way for two people to be alone together.
- Kristin Idaszak, The Liar Paradox

(As the audience enters the theater, the stage is empty

except for a large glass beaker, lit in isolation. The beaker is
full of a clear liquid. In the liquid floats a human brain,
grey, smaller than you'd think. Wires extend from the brain,
mostly from the stem, but sprinkled over the cerebral cortex
as well. The beaker is sitting on one end of a sofa.)
(Once the audience is seated, the lights go down, the doors

have closed, and the house manager has said their peace,
the brain speaks via voice over, the lights perhaps dimming
and raising like the motion of lips we don't see. The
BRAIN speaks with the prerecorded voice of the BOYD
actor.)
BRAIN
This is all of me. I know I'm not much too look at. So I'm told. And really,
listening to me blabber on would be a crummy use of a night at the theater. So let
me also invite...
(Beat. Calling off.)
You can come on in.
(Enter BOYD, who sits on the other end of the sofa and
gazes into the middle distance.)
This is also me. Or that's me. Or they're both me. The brain here and the body
over there. That's the body in which you could find me in simpler times. Or at
least, that's an actor playing said body. You know what? Don't worry about it. We
could get twisted up here at the top about who's playing who, who really is who,
who sees what, what do you see, do we see anything, what is it that we see, is it we
that we see, what see we, who see I, whose eyes do I see through, through who do I
speak? Who? Whom. Through whom do I speak. The whos, the wheres, the
whens, the whys. Whatever. The questions that impress us with the mental
gymnastics required? You'll still be asking those after we're done here. Expect no
answers, and expect no significant explorations towards answers or more questions
or not. I have some easier simpler harder questions for you: What happened?
Why? How? Who cared? Who was hurt? And who healed?
(Beat.)
Phew. Well I've said my peace. Take it away, me. A one. A two. A --
(QUICK blackout on the BRAIN before it utters "three.")
(BOYD is isolated in a spotlight, lost in thought. Silence.

Eventually we hear a voice in the distance voices calling.)
VOICE
Boyd?....Boyd?....Boyd?
(Until finally:)
MONICA
Where are you, Boyd?
(Lights up on MONICA and BOYD's simple apartment.

The BRAIN has disappeared.)
BOYD
Sorry, Monica. Hi. What were you saying?
MONICA
I said, "Well, my day was great."
BOYD
How was your day?
MONICA
Great! You?
BOYD
Fine. Fine. It sort of -- it happened and I was there but I couldn't tell you what
happened.
MONICA
A very memorable last day of freedom.
BOYD
Oh, gosh, tomorrow's my first day of work. I am so absent minded.
MONICA
(Affectionate mock surprise.)
I never noticed.
BOYD
What do we have in the fridge? I'll cook dinner.
MONICA
I thought we would eat later.
(She pulls closer to him.)
BOYD
I haven't cooked in so long. I think one of us got a savoy cabbage this week,
because one of my blogs posted this recipe that looks--
MONICA
Later.
(She starts kissing him on the neck. He doesn't respond yet.)
And since the doctor gave you the thumbs up to resume all normal activities /
after a week...
DOCTOR AMINAH
(Entering, overlapping)
After a week of rest, the MRI shows that the intracranial neoplasm has
disappeared.
(DOCTOR AMINAH has entered wearing a hijab, lab

coat, and stethoscope. Only BOYD sees her.)
BOYD
So this means I'm still here?
DOCTOR AMINAH
(Puzzled.)
Of course. This is great news, Boyd.
BOYD
(To DOCTOR AMINAH)
Thank you, Doctor Rameen. When do you think I'll be able to go back to work?
DOCTOR AMINAH
If you can work from home, great. If not, don't bike yet. Give it a couple of
weeks, splurge on some gas. Listen to your body. But after two weeks pass and
you've built up your strength, you really can resume all / normal activities.
MONICA
(Continuing as before.)
...normal activities after a couple of weeks, so....
(She kisses him on the mouth. They kiss. HOLLIS enters,

only seen by BOYD.)
HOLLIS
It's the kiss of death as far as federal contracts are concerned.
BOYD
(Turning his head away from MONICA's kiss, though still
on the couch.)
Totally.
HOLLIS
They don't want some irresponsible telecommuter with a dream to take any of the
big stuff, but while you were gone, when it was just me,..
BOYD
It was hard to land the bigger jobs.
HOLLIS
Which is totally fine, dude. That's why we have health insurance and the other
insurances. But now that you're better, we can take some local gigs, build our R-
Score. Won't be glamorous, but--
BOYD
Glamor is overrated.
HOLLIS
That's my boy. High five.
(HOLLIS raises his hand for a high-five. BOYD obliges.)
MONICA
Boyd?
(BOYD turns to MONICA. HOLLIS exits.)
BOYD
Yes Monica?
MONICA
You seem a little distracted. Everything okay?
BOYD
Yeah, I'm fine, I'm just a little...um...
MONICA
Distracted?
BOYD
Distracted.
MONICA
(Standing up from couch.)
How about you cook dinner. I'm gonna clean some. The apartment has been
drifting towards chaos.
BOYD
Sounds like a /deal.
HOLLIS
(Entering.)
...deal with all the logistical stuff while you were gone. She updated the CMS on
the NoVaDrone website, renewed your commercial license.
(We are now at the office where BOYD and HOLLIS work.
There are various electronic doodads around. Headsets.
Joysticks perhaps mounted to the arms of swivel chairs.)
BOYD
(Eyes trailing MONICA as she exits.)
What was her name again, the person who...
HOLLIS
The intern.
BOYD
Yeah, what was the intern's name?
HOLLIS
Deepa. George Mason senior.
BOYD
Right. Deepa. So Deepa worked out?
HOLLIS
She totally works out.
(Beat.)
BOYD
I mean, how did she do at the job?
HOLLIS
I taught her a lot. She taught me some stuff too. Anyhow glad to have you back.
BOYD
Glad to be here.
HOLLIS
(Tapping BOYD's head.)
The ol' thinker doin' okay?
BOYD
Yeah. Back to normal.
HOLLIS
Cool. Did they, like, cut any of it out? Is that a bad question?
BOYD
That's fine. They treated it medically. No surgery.
HOLLIS
Medically like...?
BOYD
Like with drugs.
HOLLIS
Oh okay. Medically means drugs. Because I was like, "surgery is medical." Y'know,
medical being sort of an umbrella term encompassing a lot of different stuff.
(Gesturing at BOYD's head.)
But you're all there, is what you're telling me?
BOYD
One hundred percent.
HOLLIS
Cool. I'm just trying to be straight with you, bro.
BOYD
I know.
HOLLIS
I love you, I'm glad you're back, but I also want to make sure you don't bite off
more than your brain can chew, you know what I mean?
BOYD
Absolutely. You are in charge, as far as I'm concerned.
HOLLIS
We're still both in charge. That's important to me.
BOYD
Right.
HOLLIS
Always a partnership.
BOYD
Sure.
HOLLIS
Awesome. Okay, let's see what's on the certified contractor queue:
(HOLLIS scrolls through items on his workstation.)
Goose duty. Goose duty. Goose duty--
BOYD
I'm fine starting with goose / duty--
HOLLIS
Speed trap duty, Herndon police department. You've got this. Give it to me.
(HOLLIS lifts his hand for a high-five. BOYD obliges.

HOLLIS chuckles, pats BOYD on the back, sits down at
another workstation. BOYD concentrates on his own
workstation. We don't see the monitor, but we do see the

controls: the headset, the keyboard, the joysticks.)
BOYD
38.982 degrees North, 77.378 degrees West, corner of Dranesville Road and
Herndon Parkway. Ten-twelve in the A-M. Quiet.
(DRONE enters. He is a smallish, commercially available
drone -- a mostly-plastic quadrotor model with a go-pro
camera, maybe wearing a propeller beanie. Squinting. The
DRONE does not speak in a robot monotone, but like a
person.)
DRONE
Getting a lot of lens flare.
BOYD
Getting a lot of lens flare. Banking eastward, adjusting yaw.
HOLLIS
She was from New Delhi.
BOYD
Who?
HOLLIS
Deepa. The temp.
BOYD
Oh. Interesting.
HOLLIS
What's interesting is that here I am giving her on-the-job experience at
NovaDrone so she can go back to India, undersell all our contracts.
BOYD
I figure if she's a student we should give her the benefit of--
DRONE
Heading at thirty-two degrees North by Northeast.
(BOYD presses to the side on one of the joysticks, the

DRONE slowly starts to rotate.)
BOYD
Heading at thirty-two---
HOLLIS
On the other hand, I fucked her in all three holes.
BOYD
Jesus.
(MONICA enters. BOYD looks over at her, absent-

mindedly leans a bit harder on the joystick. The DRONE
starts turning faster.)
MONICA
(To BOYD, expectant.)
How was your first day back?
HOLLIS
It was a lot of fun. We had fun together.
BOYD
You slept with the college intern?
HOLLIS
Like stickin' my dick in a blast furnace.
BOYD
Hollis.
HOLLIS
It was after her internship ended.
DRONE
(Who has been turning more and more rapidly.)
Please check angular momentum. Please check angular momentum.
HOLLIS
(Overlapping, suddenly serious.)
Careful there, buddy.
BOYD
What?
HOLLIS
(Jumping over to take the joystick.)
Can I just--
(HOLLIS rights the DRONE's spiral.)
Guess I distracted you.
BOYD
That was close.
HOLLIS
First day back. You can take a mulligan.
BOYD
Thank you.
HOLLIS
You're / welcome.
MONICA
Welcome home.
(MONICA enters with two yoga mats. She starting rolling

them out.)
BOYD
What's this?
MONICA
I thought it might be nice to practice some yoga. Transition from work to home
mindfully. You wanna join me? That's why I got two mats out.
BOYD
Yoga stresses me out.
MONICA
What stresses you out about it?
BOYD
All that enforced peacefulness.
MONICA
Think of it as exercise, but in addition to your physical muscles, you're working
the muscle that connects your brain to your body. Breathe, and sit bones to the sky.
(She gets in downward dog.)
BOYD
Let's do it.
(He joins MONICA in downward dog. His posture's not so
good.)
MONICA
Flat back.
BOYD
(Effortful.)
Yup.
MONICA
Spread your fingers and toes apart. It helps the energy.
(Beat.)
BOYD
Great.
MONICA
And release down into plank.
(They do. Plank is even harder for Boyd, his arms are
shaking.)
Keep those fingers apart for maximal energy--
BOYD
Could we take a break on the--
MONICA
Listen to your body. Don't strain yourself.
BOYD
I don't feel like I'm straining myself.
MONICA
It's not a competition.
BOYD
Right.
MONICA
It's about where you are today. How your energy--
BOYD
But what does that mean?
MONICA
What does energy mean?
BOYD
Yeah. Is it measurable in calories or kilojoules or watts or voltage or whatever, or is
it more of a metaphorical thing?
MONICA
Chi is -- what would help you, Boyd?
BOYD
I'm just always confused whenever I've done yoga--which admittedly has been
while but--whenever I've done it it's energy this and that and I realize I don't really
understand what they're talking about and how can I actually being doing yoga if
I don't fully understand exactly what's going on?
(Beat.)
MONICA
Do you need to talk? We can take a break.
BOYD
No. No. I'm sorry. Nevermind. Onwards.
MONICA
Let's try cobbler's pose. You remember that one?
BOYD
Yeah, it's an easy one.
(They go into cobblers pose.)
MONICA
Good. Close your eyes. Focus on your breath. Nothing else -- if something else,
something like work comes in, just acknowledge it and shuffle it aside and go back
to breath. In. And out. In. And out. In.
(They breathe for a couple of cycles. Suddenly, the

DRONE flies in.)
DRONE
Hey Boyd. Boyd.
BOYD
I acknowledge your presence and I, uh, shuffle you aside.
DRONE
Fine.
(DRONE exits. Silence. Breath. Lights change. Boyd opens

his eyes talks to the audience.)
BOYD
I see my lungs, and my diaphragm, suddenly. Suddenly I am mindful of them. I
see the alveoli filling with air, and transferring the oxygen molecules to the
capillaries, exchanging them for carbon dioxide molecules to expel into the
atmosphere. I see the red, oxygen-soaked platelets pumping out into the arteries.
And back again.
MONICA
And relax. Open your eyes.
(Lights back to normal.)
BOYD
Wow.
MONICA
You went somewhere there.
BOYD
How could you tell?
MONICA
It's not rocket science. What did you see?
BOYD
Well, I started thinking about drones. But I acknowledged it and got rid of it.
MONICA
Great. And then....?
BOYD
I don't want to say.
MONICA
C'moooooon.
BOYD
It's personal. It was weird and it kind of freaked me out.
MONICA
Okay. You don't have to tell me. I do like it when you tell me things, but it's for
you. I love you.
BOYD
I love you, too. How was work?
MONICA
It was good. You know what? Let's just focus on the work. This work.
BOYD
Sorry.
MONICA
/No need to apologize.
HOLLIS
(Entering.)
No need to apologize. Sometimes, a police department client is going to go in
another direction because of pricing or whatever. Sometimes, you have a near
miss and your R-score gets dinged. We're still up for the protest gig on the Mall
next month, so no worries. Partners.
BOYD
We designed the letterhead together.
HOLLIS
Exactly! So whatever I can do for you to help you get your head back in the game.
BOYD
One thing you could do--
HOLLIS
Anything.
BOYD
--is maybe in the office we could reduce the personal chatter a little bit.
HOLLIS
(Playing dumb.)
Personal chatter?
BOYD
Yeah, like--
HOLLIS
Like how you almost crashed when I told you I fucked that intern in all three
holes?
BOYD
(Uncomfortable.)
This is what I'm talking about.
HOLLIS
I can't resist an easy target.
BOYD
But can you do this for me? We're here to work, so let's focus on the work.
HOLLIS
Yeah, man. I can erect a personal-professional boundary for you.
(HOLLIS offers a hand to shake. Is he serious? BOYD's not
sure, but shakes his hand anyway.)
Back to work?
BOYD
Ten-four.
HOLLIS
Groovy. I'll put you in Herndon again. Ready to fuck?
BOYD
Pardon?
HOLLIS
I said, "ready to rock?"
BOYD
Yes.
HOLLIS
You're live. Goose duty. Herndon public golf course.
(DRONE enters as before.)
DRONE
38.976 degrees North, 77.397 degrees West, Herndon golf course. Nine oh seven
A.M.
(The DRONE activates some obnoxious noisemaker,
similar to a car alarm or an air horn. We subsequently hear
the sounds of geese honking.)
Hey! Canada geese! Get offa this golf course! Get off now!
(Beat. Diminishing honks as the geese fly away. HOLLIS
exits unobtrusively.)
It's not the most glamorous of gigs, scaring geese away so that they poop
somewhere other than the golf course's manicured lawns. But missed this angle,
this time of year, the early morning light on the golf courses of suburban
Northern Virginia. You missed gliding amidst the subdivisions rimmed in decades-
old oaks and maples and /I'm really--
(MONICA enters.)
MONICA
I'm really worried about you.
(The DRONE floats away.)
BOYD
Don't be worried.
MONICA
You were never super talkative but, here we are, you're staring out into space all
night.
BOYD
I'm just decompressing.
MONICA
Things have been a little rough around here lately.
BOYD
But I'm healthy now.
MONICA
And that's good news, but something's off.
(Beat.)
We haven't been intimate in a really long time.
BOYD
How long? Like, three weeks?
MONICA
Five months.
BOYD
I was sick.
MONICA
But now you're not. You've been green light all clear for over a month now, and I
guess I'm wondering what the problem is.
BOYD
You've gotta tell me these things. I can't read your mind.
MONICA
You do not get to complain about mind-reading.
(Beat. BOYD can't argue with that.)
I mean there was that night last week but I don't think it counts.
BOYD
What night?
MONICA
You know, it was like, midnight or so, and you rolled over and started kissing me
and touching me and...
(Beat.)
You don't remember.
BOYD
Sorry.
MONICA
Well I guess you were sort of asleep when it happened and then you rolled back
over and went back to sleep right away. It was probably just a few seconds. And
any time lately that I try to initiate you barely acknowledge it so...
(Beat. Takes out a business card and gives it to BOYD.)
It would make me feel better if you went to see a therapist. I'm not a doctor
obviously but you seem really depressed or distant so I got the name of a
psychiatrist from Dr. Rameen.
BOYD
If you're really upset, do you want to go see a thera-
MONICA
I'm already seeing someone. And I can talk to Renee. I need you to see someone
professional. I need you to do something, actively. Anything. Okay?
BOYD
Of course.
(Reads the card.)
The names are a coincidence?
MONICA
I think they're /sisters.
DOCTOR KASHI
Sisters.
(Enter the second DOCTOR RAMEEN sister, KASHI.
Her dress is more western than the Oncologist Rameen's --
her head is uncovered. She's dressed in the work day clothes
of someone who goes out on the weekends. MONICA
exits.)
Twins. Medical school runs in the family I guess. We're gluttons for med school
punishment! Hahaha. And cancer and scalpels gross me out, so here I am.
BOYD
Twin doctors.
DOCTOR KASHI
I've always wanted to do a study on birth order and twin doctors. Do the older
ones go for oncology and the younger ones -- I'm only twelve minutes younger,
but still, do we young'uns tend to have more emotional problems so we become
psychiatrists? My parents always said, "Kashi, why can't you be more like Amina
and take an interest in cancer?" Anyway, Boyd, tell me, do you hear voices?
(She has pulled out a list and is checking it.)
BOYD
Uh, No?
DOCTOR KASHI
Good! Do you want to kill yourself ?
BOYD
No!
DOCTOR KASHI
No stigma. Sometimes I do. Not you. Myself. I'm not saying I'm at risk. I quit
drinking, got the guns out of the house. Anyway, you came here for depression?
BOYD
My wife thinks I'm depressed.
DOCTOR KASHI
Are you?
BOYD
I figured I'd ask you.
DOCTOR KASHI
What's the problem?
BOYD
She's angry that, lately, we aren't intimate too often.
DOCTOR KASHI
Nice.
BOYD
What?
DOCTOR KASHI
Not nice "good," nice that you're coming in here getting down to brass tacks. I've
had clients, they come in here for six months beating around the bush before they
get to the good stuff. Aren't you angry that you aren't intimate too often?
BOYD
"Angry" is a strong word.
DOCTOR KASHI
You're Catholic?
BOYD
Raised.
DOCTOR KASHI
Do you still go to mass?
BOYD
God no.
DOCTOR KASHI
You know you're not going to hell if you have sex with your wife, right?
BOYD
Of course.
DOCTOR KASHI
Did you want to have sex with me?
BOYD
How did I give you that idea?
DOCTOR KASHI
It's not on the table, it's just that patients often want to have sex with their
therapists, since we're warm and accepting, like a vagina of empathy. Did you
want antidepressants?
BOYD
Are you diagnosing me with depression?
DOCTOR KASHI
Maybe. But do you want pills?
BOYD
I don't know yet.
DOCTOR KASHI
Then what did you want? Because I'm a psychiatrist. I do pills -- prescribe pills.
You want talk therapy, I can recommend some very highly qualified people, but
talking is not my strong suit.
(Beat.)
Your turn.
BOYD
Well, I'm having trouble focusing during the act. Like, I'm there, my body is there,
rather, but I, me, I am not there.
DOCTOR KASHI
Are you ever happy?
BOYD
What kind of question is that?
DOCTOR KASHI
No, it's on my list, I'm not just -- these don't just pop out of my imagination,
there's rhymes and reasons. Trust me. So are you ever happy?
BOYD
Of course.
DOCTOR KASHI
When?
(Beat.)
BOYD
When I'm at work.
DOCTOR KASHI
What do you do?
BOYD
Commercial drone operations.
DOCTOR KASHI
Do you have coworkers.
BOYD
One. My college roommate.
DOCTOR KASHI
So you're happy when you're spending time with him.
BOYD
No. I mean I'm not unhappy to spend time with him. It's more the work itself.
Piloting the drones. It's relaxing.
DOCTOR KASHI
That's funny.
BOYD
Pardon?
DOCTOR KASHI
No, funny, in that this is what my twin does.
BOYD
Amina? I thought she was just an oncologist.
DOCTOR KASHI
Beenish. She's the other twin.
BOYD
There are three twins?
DOCTOR KASHI
Shit. Yeah.
BOYD
Isn't that /triplets?
DOCTOR KASHI
Triplets. Six minutes before me, six minutes after Amina, so she's the classic
"forgotten middle triplet." We usually just say "twins." But enough about me.
BOYD
She's a couples therapist?
DOCTOR KASHI
Close. Neuroscientist. She fixes brains.
BOYD
So I should go see her?
(Beat.)
DOCTOR KASHI
Nah.
BOYD
But I think that's what's wrong with me. It's gotta be something with my brain,
right? That's where the problem is.
DOCTOR KASHI
So I'll prescribe you something.
BOYD
I was on Wellbutrin for a while in college and it just made me really constipated.
DOCTOR KASHI
There are other pills. You think what Beenish is going to do to you is going to be
less invasive than drugs?
BOYD
What is she going to do to me?
DOCTOR KASHI
Ohhhh man. Freaky stuff. Not sexy freaky; freaky freaky.
BOYD
So I shouldn't go see her?
DOCTOR KASHI
Ah, what the heck.
(She scribbles BEENISH's contact info on a prescription
pad paper and hands the sheet to BOYD.)
Give Beenish a call. Tell her I sent you. In the mean time, keep trying with your
wife. I'd try to help you via more conventional means, but honestly? /You seem
pretty fucked-up.
HOLLIS
(Entering.)
You seem pretty fucked up.
BOYD
Pardon?
HOLLIS
You seen the city forecast?
(HOLLIS points at a monitor. KASHI exits. We're now at
NoVa Drone.)
Sunny skies, mild temps in the low eighties. It'll be nice to fly in, but it'll also mean
big attendance. They're predicting three, four hundred thousand people.
BOYD
Right. What am I doing?
HOLLIS
Crowd control. Eye in the sky. Just watch out for people throwing rocks and tear
gas grenades at you or the monuments and you'll be fine.
(BOYD gets in drone-flying gear.)
DRONE
(Entering.)
The Mall, central DC, 38.889 degrees north. 77.022 degrees west. Free fly zone
for 800 yards in all directions. People everywhere.
BOYD
What are they protesting?
HOLLIS
I don't know, man.
DRONE
I'm not seeing anything illegal. In fact, isn't this protest beautiful, in its own way?
BOYD
It's a lot of people.
DRONE
And that's beautiful. Metro lines and streets full of people, pumping into the
beating heart of the city. Hundreds of thousands of people coming together
because of something bigger than themselves.
BOYD
(Agreeing.)
When you put it that way.
DRONE
Can't you see how they're all bound together and fortified by the same energy?
BOYD
You too with the energy?
HOLLIS
And here come the riot gear cops on Constitution. What's going on by you?
DRONE
Can't you admit that there's something beautiful in this?
BOYD
Yeah, sure. What does it matter?
DRONE
It matters because the world is falling apart and people are coming together and
you're wanking around worrying about your shitty marriage and your day job.
BOYD
Our marriage is fine.
DRONE
Yeah and we also have plenty of oil reserves and no constitutional crisis, sure.
HOLLIS
Did you hear me, Boyd?
BOYD
Pardon?
HOLLIS
What's going on by you?
BOYD
I don't see anything illegal.
DRONE
You are a freakin' mess, Boyd. You're at work and you can't stop thinking about
boning your wife.
BOYD
Who's thinking about--
DRONE
You are At home, you think about me, but once you get here, you're totally
distracted by your domestic carnal imagination.
(Beat.)
BOYD
Maybe a little bit.
DRONE
You keep being this distracted, you're going to get hit by that rock.
BOYD
What rock?
(An unseen person hits the DRONE with a thrown rock.

The DRONE loses a rotor and quickly goes into a spiral.)
DRONE
Uh-oh.
HOLLIS
Pull out of it, Boyd! You can do this.
BOYD
I'm getting errors.
HOLLIS
Pull out! What do you see?
BOYD
Oh god.
(A crash noise.)
(BOYD stands up from his workstation. HOLLIS and the
DRONE and office vanish from behind him.)
I screwed up. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Did that kid get hurt? Oh god. Oh god.
MONICA
(entering, professionally dressed, with her laptop bag.)
You're home early.
(BOYD grabs MONICA by the shoulders and kisses her.

She's not expecting it but it's fine.)
MONICA
Hi there.
BOYD
You wanna...?
MONICA
Yes.
(They go back to kissing. The lights draw down on the rest

of the stage and BOYD and MONICA are in isolation.
Suddenly, BOYD pulls away and the lights are just a follow-
spot on his face.)
BOYD
It's not the kid's fault, is the problem. I'm ninety-nine percent sure that whoever
threw the rock is not the kid who got hurt because as it was, as the drone was
spiraling downwards, the camera was pointed downwards and the gyroscope was
still working so I get a steady shot of the kid's face as the drone -- the drones are
heavier and bigger than you'd think these aren't the fifty dollar fancy pants
stocking stuffers made of plastic that you buy at Target these are, heavy,
constructed, machine's. And I saw the kid's face, in his knit hat, and his sunglasses,
and I couldn't see his eyes but I could still imagine what he felt.
MONICA
What's the matter?
(Lights up. The scene has changed and BOYD is sitting on

the edge of bed. MONICA is under the sheets.)
BOYD
Was I talking in my sleep?
MONICA
It's like six p.m.
BOYD
Was I taking a nap?
MONICA
No you were not.
BOYD
I hit a kid today. With a drone.
MONICA
Like a toddler?
BOYD
No no no. College kid. Protestor. But he still must have gotten hurt.
MONICA
Boyd, what were we doing a minute ago?
(Long beat.)
MONICA
Okay, I'll remind you. You were inside me. And everything seemed fine. And then
you pulled out and sat up at the edge of the bed and started talking about work.
And that's fucked.
BOYD
It's a reflex. I can control it only so much.
MONICA
I think you can take /responsibility for your own thoughts.
HOLLIS
(Entering.)
....responsibility for whatever damages we cause through user error. Which, yeah,
the protestor threw the rock at you, but you were flying too low to avoid the rock,
so ultimately it's on us. Our insurance rates are going to skyrocket, and the victim
is talking lawsuit. I don't know if NoVaDrone can / weather this.
(Exits.)
MONICA
...whether this is an emotional thing or a neurological thing, I need you to figure it
out because I'm reaching the end of what I can tolerate.
BOYD
I will figure it out.
MONICA
Will you? Are you still going to therapy?
BOYD
I tried, but Kashi was really strange.
MONICA
You can't just do therapy once and say you tried. That's like running to catch one
bus and telling people you're a jogger. There are other therapists.
BOYD
I have another idea that I want to try. Another route. I did some research. I can't
really talk about it yet but I have a good feeling about it--
MONICA
Is it drugs? Bad drugs?
BOYD
No. Listen. I have a consultation set up and then I'll--
BEENISH
....decide whether my work is a good fit for your needs. Have a seat.
(Enter the neurologist, DOCTOR BEENISH RAMEEN.

She's slightly mad-scientisty in her appearance.)
BOYD
Yes! Thanks.
(BOYD stands up from the bed. MONICA and the bed

exit. BOYD sits over with BEENISH.)
BEENISH
So Boyd: you fuckin' my sister?
BOYD
Pardon?
BEENISH
I said, "My fuckin' sister!" She's how you found me. Kashi, I'm guessing.
BOYD
Guilty. You can help me, Doctor Beenish?
DOCTOR BEENISH
I can help you...
BOYD
Great.
DOCTOR BEENISH
...but that doesn't mean I should. You have such a nice body.
BOYD
Oh, thanks!
DOCTOR BEENISH
No no no. Not "attractive" nice. Not that you aren't, but -- gross. I meant "fully
functioning" nice. My usually clients, we're talkin' catheters, nerve disorders,
disfiguring motorcycle accidents.
BOYD
I thought you fixed brains, not bodies.
DOCTOR BEENISH
Your brain's still part of your body. What exactly did Kashi tell you about my
work?
BOYD
She just said you were a neuroscientist. I figured you'd put some electrodes on my
head and look at some line graphs.
DOCTOR BEENISH
Kashi should have been more specific. I specialize in bivs.
BOYD
Bivs?
DOCTOR BEENISH
B-I-Vs? Brains in vats. I perform a cerebellectomies to remove the brains of smart,
sick people and put them in vats. Literally, brain in one place, body in another.
BOYD
Fascinating.
DOCTOR BEENISH
It's not fascinating. It's terrible. There's exciting potential in brain-vatting
technology, but it's intended for people whose bodies are broken.
BOYD
My body is broken.
DOCTOR BEENISH
You said your cancer was in remission.
BOYD
Oh, the cancer's gone. But there's still something wrong with my body.
DOCTOR BEENISH
Maybe you're a little doughy in the middle, but what I do is irreversible. You
remember that basketball coach with multiple sclerosis, who had his brain
removed.
BOYD
Rings a bell.
DOCTOR BEENISH
That was me. Is that what you want?
BOYD
Relations between my brain and my body are troubled. That's the best way I can
put it.
DOCTOR BEENISH
I'm glad you brought up relations. There are certain duties that a brain cannot
fulfill. Certain marital obligations.
BOYD
I understand.
DOCTOR BEENISH
The mobile brain platforms do have ways to interact with the physical world. I
suppose you could attach a USB-powered marital aid to one of the ports. You
know, like a vibrator?
BOYD
I know what a vibrator is.
DOCTOR BEENISH
And in theory there could be data feedback that came back from the device itself
so you could know what was happening with it and, quote-unquote, "feel" it, but it
would be crude at best.
BOYD
But I get it. Minds are like complicated little computers--
DOCTOR BEENISH
No no no. Ugh. Sorry: pet peeve. Computers are not a good analogy for the mind.
Computers are logical, predictable. The mind is not. The mind is a farce: thoughts
slamming doors, desires running circles. It doesn't make much sense, but at least
it's amusing. Until it's exhausting.
(Beat.)
BOYD
I've never been able to put it into words before, but that's exactly how it feels up
here. Help me fix it? Please?
BEENISH
(She takes his hand.)
This is not for you. The people who've undergone this procedure were in such bad
shape, their bodies were just mulched afterwards. Nothing to save. You, on the
other hand. Your body's fine.
BOYD
But what if we just too my brain out for a while so I could sort stuff out, and then
put it back in.
BEENISH
That procedure doesn't exist yet.
BOYD
I could be a guinea pig.
BEENISH
Have you spent any time with guinea pigs? You're much smarter than a guinea
pig. Keep trying with the yoga and the therapy. Maybe find a different therapist.
Keep working on finding those words. Or, if none of that clicks, just do what I do
-- lose yourself in your work. Take a pamphlet
(Hands BOYD a pamphlet.)
But I am a last resort. Talk it over with your /wife.
MONICA
/Wifi has been cranky all day and I'm trying to sit in on these online training
webinars and it's going in and out and ugh. I miss cars. How was your day?
(We're in BOYD and MONICA's apartment. BOYD has

seemingly just entered, holding the pamphlet.)
BOYD
I had my consultation.
MONICA
How'd it go?
BOYD
Remember when we got married?
MONICA
Why?
BOYD
Just, yes, you do remember when we got married?
MONICA
Of course.
BOYD
And we said vows about sickness and health and all that stuff. And then I got the
cancer diagnosis and it was a really hard time. It happened so fast. We got married
so fast to begin with, and then that happened.
MONICA
Did the cancer come back? Is that why--
BOYD
No no no. I'm healthy. I'm sort of healthy. The doctor commented on how healthy
I look.
MONICA
What sort of doctor?
BOYD
Neurologist. Neuroscientist.
MONICA
What's the difference?
BOYD
(Opening the pamphlet and showing it to MONICA.)
It's an experimental procedure.
MONICA
Oh sweetie.
BOYD
It's called a / cerebellectomy.
BEENISH
(Appearing in isolation as MONICA reads.)
...Cerebellectomy is a revolutionary procedure for prolonging cognitive function
and enjoyment of life. When the patient's form reaches an irreversible level of
morbidity, Doctor Beenish Rameen makes an incision around the cranium and
removes the central nervous system from the medulla oblongata upwards.
(Vanishes.)
MONICA
This is what that basketball coach did? The one with multiple sclerosis.
BOYD
Yes. His photo's on the back.
MONICA
(MONICA flips over the pamphlet to confirm this.)
Is that him before or after?
BOYD
Before. After is this one.
(BOYD points at another picture. MONICA recoils.)
MONICA
I thought they took it out, fixed it, and then put it back in.
BOYD
Taking it out is fixing it. Getting rid of all those problematic mind-body
connections.
MONICA
But then what do they do with your body?
BOYD
Well in the past it's a procedure they've done with terminally ill people, so they just
get rid of the corpses.
MONICA
Please don't use the word "corpse."
BOYD
What else would you call it?
MONICA
It's you, Boyd. All of it's you.
BOYD
That's not how I feel, though.
MONICA
But that's what I see, and experience, and...I married all of you and I'll miss you.
BOYD
I'll be here. All here. And my mind won't be able to drift because I'll be all brain.
And then you can do whatever else you need to do to be happy. Y'know what I
mean?
MONICA
No, I don't know what you mean.
BOYD
Like if you want to, like, sleep with oth/er people.
MONICA
Oh for fuck's sake Boyd.
BOYD
Our society's previously narrow definitions of what does or does not make a
marriage have broadened.
MONICA
Great. Good for those people. I don't want that. You're out of your mind.
BOYD
No no no, I'm stuck in my mind, that's the whole problem. Just come meet the
doctor? Please?
(BEENISH enters. We're now in her lab. She's in the

middle of answering MONICA's question. BOYD and

MONICA are seated on either end of a couch in
BEENISH's consulting room. )
BEENISH
Returning the brain back into somebody's head? In theory, sure, but we haven't
had much success. We're working on it.
MONICA
Who's "we?"
BEENISH
The international cerebellectomy community. Some promising experimental
results with corgis. But a commercially-available procedure is still a way's off.
MONICA
How long is "a way's"?
BOYD
I'm quite eager to begin treatment.
(To BEENISH.)
We have the Blue Cross Blue Shield Silver PPO.
BEENISH
(Chuckling.)
Your insurance will not be covering this procedure.
BOYD
You're sure you're not in-network? It's pretty good.
BEENISH
I operate a bit under the radar here.
MONICA
We couldn't possibly--
DOCTOR BEENISH
However, you're an unusual case... Rarely do people seek me out the way you have
sought me out, people whose lives, apart from their subjective experience of those
lives, are pretty normal. I'd be willing to work pro bono.
BOYD
Great.
MONICA
No, what? No. Not at all.
BOYD
It's a win-win.
MONICA
For who? Who's winning? Not me. This is all really fast--
DOCTOR BEENISH
Monica, can I speak to you, privately, for a moment?
MONICA
Fine.
(To BOYD.)
Do you mind if we...?
BOYD
Go ahead.
(DOCTOR BEENISH pulls MONICA to a corner of the

stage, where they chat inaudibly.)
BOYD
Did I remember to tell Hollis about this? If Monica agrees to it then I imagine
there's at least a little bit of recuperation time. I just missed a bunch of time when
I was sick. Can you miss time for making yourself well? Will Hollis forgive me?
MONICA
(From the corner.)
Boyd.
BOYD
Yes?
MONICA
Doctor Beenish and I have talked it over, and we've agreed that it's best that we go
forward with the procedure.
BOYD
Thank you.
MONICA
I love you. When should I come back?
DOCTOR BEENISH
Gimme a couple hours. Get some lunch, relax. See you in the afternoon.
MONICA
All right. Bye, love.
BOYD
See you soon.
(MONICA leaves. BEENISH seats BOYD in a chair, straps

down his arms.)
BOYD
We're really doing it right now?
BEENISH
We're doing it right now.
BOYD
So I'm assuming it's general anesthetic?
BEENISH
Well, when you work pro bono, you cut some corners. Don't worry though: you
probably won't remember this.
BOYD
What?
(BEENISH gets out a circular saw, the kind of thing you'd

use to cut plywood. She places a hand on BOYD's shoulder.
She revs up the saw. It's loud. She applies the saw to
BOYD's forehead. BOYD screams.)
(The lights isolate on MONICA on another part of the
stage. Sudden silence. The saw stops.)
MONICA
Oh no, sweetie. Did you cut yourself ?
BOYD
Yeah.
MONICA
(Offering a paper towel.)
Here.
BOYD
(Taking it.)
Thanks.
MONICA
Good thing we didn't go with the place with the white carpeting.
(BOYD uses the paper towel to wipe the blood off his hand
and is surprised to see there's no wound there. He touches
his forehead with his clean hand. No blood there, either.)
Lotta blood for such a tiny little cut. Gimme your finger.
(He does. She puts a bandaid on the tip.)
Put pressure on it. Hold it above your head.
(He does.)
You are very cute when you're sleepy.
BOYD
What time is it?
MONICA
I dunno, six thirty? I'll put some coffee on.
BOYD
(Goes to put coffee on.)
No, no I'll do it.
MONICA
Hold on there. Just, keep it above your head.
(BOYD holds his hand above his head.)
I'll do it. No more chopping veggies for Saturday omelettes before coffee.
BOYD
Now I remember us having this conversation.
MONICA
Pardon?
BOYD
Don't know if I need coffee. I'm feeling pretty jittery.
MONICA
Are you still getting those migraines?
BOYD
Yeah. More, lately.
MONICA
You should really see your doctor about that. Did you ever choose a primary care
doctor?
BOYD
Slipped my mind.
MONICA
You should do that.
BOYD
I know.
MONICA
C'mere.
(He comes there. She kisses him, her arms around his neck.)
I love you so much.
BOYD
I love you.
MONICA
Das so weird but I love our little life here.
BOYD
Why's DC weird?
MONICA
Nobody's from DC. Very few people. Everybody moves in and out for two years or
four years or however long whatever administration they're working for lasts. It
doesn't feel quite grounded.
BOYD
We have our apartment. We have each other.
MONICA
That we do.
BOYD
I'm sorry your family's so far away. I'm sorry that--
MONICA
No. Don't apologize. It'll be good for NoVaDrone, it'll be good for my career. It'll
be good. I'll get used to it.
BOYD
Me too.
MONICA
Moving to a new city can be a headache, is all. Missing my family's seder for the
first time in a very long time.
(Beat.)
Kiss me some more.
(They kiss for a few seconds. BOYD suddenly pulls pack

and holds his temple.)
BOYD
Ohhh Here it goes. Power of suggestion.
MONICA
Wow, romantic!
BOYD
No no no. I mean, you said the word "headache."
MONICA
I know. I'll get you some ibuprofen.
BOYD
Thanks.
MONICA
(Different, serious, breaking some of the illusion.)
You know, you were always like this.
BOYD
Always like what?
MONICA
Weird about sex. Before the cancer and the seizures and the months of
chemotherapy that are about to start. Can't really blame that. There was always
something wrong with you.
BOYD
I guess it was never easy.
MONICA
What's wrong with you, Boyd? Why are you like this?
(Beat.)
BOYD
I don't know.
MONICA
(Snaps back to her previous cheerfulness.)
I'll get you some ibuprofen.
BOYD
Thanks, honey--
(BOYD has a seizure. He goes down on the floor. The

world darkens. MONICA is oddly still.)
MONICA
Boyd? Are you okay? Gosh, these headaches keep getting worse. Have you been
taking your multivitamins? I'm starting to worry about you just a little bit. Maybe
you should go see a doctor.
(BOYD is isolated in a spotlight. MONICA exits. The

seizure subsides. Silence.)
DOCTOR'S VOICE
Boyd?....Boyd?....Boyd?
BOYD
Here I am.
(Lights up. BOYD is now just a brain in a vat. This is
theatrically represented in as low-tech a manner as possible:
BOYD carries a glass beaker with a fake brain floating in it.
The other actors interact with him as if his face were at the
level of the beaker, and ignore the real physical presence of
the BOYD actor.)
(BEENISH is there. She's exhausted. She holds up two

fingers in front of the beaker.)
DOCTOR BEENISH
How many fingers?
BOYD
Two.
DOCTOR BEENISH
Good. You can hear, you can see. The voice synthesizer is working.
BOYD
I'm hungry.
DOCTOR BEENISH
No, you're not.
BOYD
I feel hungry.
DOCTOR BEENISH
Your feelings are wrong.
BOYD
Why aren't you validating my feelings?
DOCTOR BEENISH
You know how many hours I've been awake working on you?
BOYD
You said the operation only took three or four hours.
DOCTOR BEENISH
That was an estimate. But what does it matter to you?
(She goes into a drawer and pulls out a Snickers bar. She
unwraps and eats. BOYD looks at it lustfully.)
BOYD
Rude.
DOCTOR BEENISH
What.
BOYD
You're eating a candy bar right in front of me when I said--
(BEENISH turns BOYD so that he's no longer facing her.)
BOYD
Wow.
DOCTOR BEENISH
I'll hook up your motor functionality later.
BOYD
This is in violation of the hippocratic--
DOCTOR BEENISH
Don't make me turn off your voice synthesizer.
(Beat.)
I'm very good at what I do. But there were complications. The intracranial
neoplasm had left so much scar tissue -- hooking you up to the beaker just took a
lot longer than I thought.
BOYD
How much longer?
DOCTOR BEENISH
You know what? I'm the doctor. Just let me handle the logistics. Sit back and relax.
BOYD
Do I have a choice?
DOCTOR BEENISH
No.
BOYD
Are you done eating that candy bar?
DOCTOR BEENISH
Nope.
(Beat. BEENISH snacks.)
BOYD
Why don't I have more eyes?
DOCTOR BEENISH
More eyes?
BOYD
Why don't you have cameras on the back of me, too? Or one of those panoramic
cameras so I could see everything?
DOCTOR BEENISH
Your visual cortex couldn't process that much field.
(BEENISH's phone rings. She answers it.)
Doctor Beenish Rameen. Hi, Monica. I'll buzz you in.
(Hangs up.)
BOYD
Monica's already back?
DOCTOR BEENISH
I'm not driving you home.
(MONICA bursts in. Her hair is significantly longer and a

different color.)
MONICA
Boyd?
(She runs to his tank.)
BOYD
Monica!
MONICA
You can hear me.
BOYD
Yeah.
MONICA
Are you -- is he looking at me?
BOYD
Yes, I am. I can see your face. You're looking right into my face.
DOCTOR BEENISH
You don't have a face.
(Giving MONICA a binder.)
This covers all the basic care questions. To renew the nutrient fluid -- look, you
can shell out for the medical-grade stuff, but honestly it's just distilled water with a
multivitamin dissolved in it. I have about half an hour of work left to do on him
here. There are some magazines.
MONICA
Thanks.
(DOCTOR goes to tinker on BOYD. MONICA takes the
hint and sits apart.)
BOYD
My brain's in a nutrient vat?
DOCTOR BEENISH
Yep.
BOYD
I'm real sleepy.
DOCTOR BEENISH
You're not.
BOYD
Could you pour some coffee in my vat?
DOCTOR BEENISH
Ha! Bad idea. Leave the chemistry to me.
BOYD
I really wish I could move right now.
DOCTOR BEENISH
That's what I'm working on now.
BOYD
Thank you!
DOCTOR BEENISH
But I'm going to have to disconnect your visual, auditory, and verbal functions for
a bit.
BOYD
Does that mean--
DOCTOR BEENISH
Think of it as another chance to be alone with your thoughts.
BOYD
Don't--
(She jerks out the cord.)
(Stage goes dark except for a spot on BOYD.)
BOYD
Alone with your thoughts. That's all you've ever really wanted, right? No
distractions. What do people in prison do to keep themselves from going nuts
when they're in solitary confinement? Get me out help HELP HEEEEEEEEELP.
Now I'm thirsty. How can I be thirsty? I'm submitted submarine what's the word
submerged in a vat of water. It's like in college when we would dip a guy's hand in
water and he would pee. I can't pee anymore.
(Enter HOLLIS, wearing a baja and carrying a glass pipe.)
HOLLIS
Remember that?
BOYD
Pardon?
HOLLIS
Remember last semester when you were sleeping at that party and I put your
hand in the--
BOYD
(Overlapping.)
That was so funny.
(It was not.)
HOLLIS
(Continuous.)
--in the warm water and then you. Huh. Oh man. You want a hit?
BOYD
No thanks.
(HOLLIS smokes.)
HOLLIS
You ever thought, like, what if the red I see is a totally different red from the red
you see?
BOYD
I've never thought about that.
HOLLIS
How would we know? I mean we couldn't show each other. Because even if I
could see the red you see, it'd still be the red that I see, y'know what I mean?
BOYD
Yeah, I get it.
HOLLIS
First time I ever smoked with my dad, he showed me The Matrix. Your parents
ever show you that movie?
BOYD
I've never seen it.
HOLLIS
Classic. Effects are real dated, but it'll expand your mind. What is reality, y'know?
(HOLLIS takes another hit.)
Oh, man, we should be friends forever.
BOYD
Totally.
HOLLIS
I think I'm gonna switch my major to business.
BOYD
I'm sleepy.
HOLLIS
That's cool. Y'know, you know that I"m a party guy, that I like to have fun, but
I'm also smart about stuff, but sometimes I feel like there's a howling void within
me that I'm trying to fill with this that and the other thing. Weed. Sex. Not so
much sex. But it would be nice. But like I can rap about the great philosophical
questions with you well into the night but will that really make me a whole person?
(Beat.)
Aight, I'm out.
BOYD
Don't leave me!
HOLLIS
I promise I won't dip your hand in water.
(HOLLIS leaves.)
BOYD
I can feel sleepy, still. I should be able to feel all the other feeling, too: Hunger.
Fullness. Warmth. Hugs. Orgasms. Although, maybe orgasms would overload the
circuits and "the technology isn't available yet." Maybe they could program some
milder pleasant sensations. Sneezing. Taking a really good poop. Press a button,
instant poop feeling. No mess. I would press that button all day, wouldn't get
anything done. Couldn't she have given me something to knock me out, some
sorta armadillo analgesic anesthetic? Don't I have a power switch? That might kill
me. I'll never eat a truffle.
(Beat.)
Always wanted to try a truffle. Never run a marathon. I don't want to run a
marathon ever, but it would be nice to have the-- Count as high as you can go.
Measure out the time. Try it now: One. Two. I used to count backwards from one
hundred to get to sleep. Never got to zero. Or if I did, I don't remember, because I
was going to sleep.
(Beat.)
Where was I?
(DOCTOR BEENISH and MONICA enter, mid-

conversation.)
DOCTOR BEENISH
--The battery has a certain number of charges it can handle over its lifespan, after
which you'll have to--
BOYD
Where are we?
MONICA
Good morning. We're at home.
DOCTOR BEENISH
He's back.
BOYD
I was gone? How long? Few hours?
DOCTOR BEENISH
Boyd, try to relax.
BOYD
How long was I out?
DOCTOR BEENISH
Two months.
BOYD
(BOYD, enraged, rolls himself over to them.)
You left me trapped in there for two months!?
DOCTOR BEENISH
Great. It works.
BOYD
What?
DOCTOR BEENISH
You can move yourself. You just did.
(BOYD looks down and realizes, yes, he's's not super quick,
but he can move. He tests himself out now.)
It might still take some calibration, but now you've got movement, speech, sight,
and sound. We're still working on smell and taste and touch. We don't quite have
the one-to-one technological metaphors to make those more ephemeral senses
click. Touch, especially. Touch is complicated. Have you tried moving your arm
yet?
BOYD
(BOYD looks at his arm.)
This thing?
DOCTOR BEENISH
Which thing?
BOYD
This thing!
(BOYD raises one arm to point at the other. It's the first
time since the operation that we've seen BOYD move his
arms. Maybe we hear the grinding of robotic servos that
can't quite mimic human movement.)
Whoah.
DOCTOR BEENISH
Don't get overambitious. Your fine motor control -- you're not going to be able to
type, but you have a row of serial bus ports in front of you.
(DOCTOR holds up a mirror so BOYD can see the front
of himself, with the USB ports.)
BOYD
Aagh!
DOCTOR BEENISH
What?
BOYD
I'm just a brain!
DOCTOR BEENISH
Oh. Probably could have prepped you better for that. Anyway, voila! This row of
universal serial bus ports will plug into any desktop computer and allow your brain
to act as a peripheral as a keyboard or mouse or joystick. It'll take some practice,
but it'll be a lot easier than using your actual quote-unquote "hands."
(Makes finger quotes.)
BOYD
Thanks, Doctor.
DOCTOR BEENISH
You have my number.
MONICA
Thanks, doctor.
(DOCTOR BEENISH leaves. MONICA flops down on the

sofa.)
BOYD
Are you okay?
MONICA
I'm exhausted. It was touch and go there for a couple of months.
(Beat.)
BOYD
I'm doing great.
MONICA
Yeah, you feel okay? Good.
BOYD
It was scary being unconscious, but conscious. Unconscious isn't the word. Alone?
Removed from the outside world, but still aware? And now I'm back, and it feels
familiar. Like being with my family.
MONICA
I am your family.
BOYD
And we're together. Alone together.
MONICA
You are the opposite of together.
(Beat.)
BOYD
How's work?
MONICA
I took some time off.
BOYD
The house looks nice. Thanks.
MONICA
That wasn't me.
BOYD
You hired a cleaning lady?
MONICA
Didn't hire anybody.
BOYD
(Over the course of this speech, BOYD gets increasingly
lost in his tangle of language. The lights go down on
everything except his face.)
It's fine! For the time being, if hiring a cleaner is what you want to splurge on, I'd
say you're doing great. And I wanted you to know that I am aware that certain
marital duties are impossible for me, now. So, we can talk about the exact terms,
but my penis isn't coming back. I think I was an organ donor. What did they do
with -- I always wanted one of those green burials where they plant you with a
pine tree sapling. This robo-brain go-kart thing must be incredibly energy-
intensive. I always felt like my body was just a crappy used car, this oil-burning
beast that I had to maintain so I could get my brain to the places it needed to go
so it could do the things it likes to--
MONICA
Boyd!
(Lights up. MONICA stands, holding hands with THE
BODY. THE BODY, played by the same actor as the
DRONE, is dressed exactly like BOYD has been
throughout. Maybe we see a scar around THE BODY's
cranium.)
MONICA
Despite missing your head, you can still get stuck in it.
BOYD
It's my body.
MONICA
It's you, yup.
BOYD
That's what I look like?
MONICA
Yeah.
BOYD
I thought they would just dispose of it. Me.
MONICA
Brain was the tough part, Doc told me. Body was up and running in a week. It
was part of the agreement I made with the doctor.
BOYD
Nobody asked me.
MONICA
You were otherwise occupied. He earns his keep. Cleaning, mostly. I wouldn't trust
him to cook.
BOYD
How does he work if I have his brain?
MONICA
She hooked him up to an old smartphone. Remember smartphones?
BOYD
Does he talk?
MONICA
Nah.
(She playfully pokes THE BODY's stomach.)
THE BODY
(A subverbal sound of escaping air.)
Guuhhhhh.
MONICA
Not a whole lot going on upstairs. He cooks. Not as good as you, but still better
than me. It's been nice having your body around. Like having a little piece of you.
BOYD
You're still sleeping with me?
MONICA
Pardon?
BOYD
You could, if you want. Wouldn't bother me.
MONICA
It's hard to read your synthesized tone of voice. Are you serious?
BOYD
I want you to be happy.
MONICA
Boyd, I love your body, always have, more than you ever have, but at this point
your body is a glorified roomba. He is surprisingly good at yoga.
BOYD
Have you been seeing anybody else?
MONICA
Definitely not.
BOYD
You could.
MONICA
Not ready.
(Beat.)
Maybe we need to /talk to somebody.
(Enter DOCTOR KASHI, mid-session with BOYD,

MONICA, and the BODY)
DOCTOR KASHI
...talk to somebody else, help you work out some kinks, become a full person, full
couple. We're made up of all these pieces, and those pieces come together and
make something whole. Something holistic. I think there's a German word for it--
MONICA
(Raising her hand.)
Can I break in here?
DOCTOR KASHI
Yeah! Totally. Go for it.
MONICA
I don't know if the term "holistic" can really be applied to my husband. He is
literally separate from his body.
THE BODY
Hi Buddy!
DOCTOR KASHI
It's a metaphor.
BOYD
Honey, I think she's talking about the mind, and how the personality has different
parts, and I am still, I hope, a whole mind apart from my body. And I'm so much
happier now! Work's great.
MONICA
Great.
DOCTOR KASHI
Great!
(Enter HOLLIS.)
HOLLIS
You're fired.
BOYD
What!?
HOLLIS
I said you've been on fire, man.
BOYD
Oh, great!
(BOYD slowly but steadily plugs cables into himself with
his servo arms.)
HOLLIS
It was tough, after the DC demonstration, a lotta crap was coming up in the
queue. And then you being gone for another two months.
BOYD
Did you hire another temp?
HOLLIS
Had to.
BOYD
Did you--
HOLLIS
Hired a dude.
BOYD
Great.
HOLLIS
But since you've been back, I hardly need to be here. I had time to reorganize the
server closet. You keep flying like this, you're going to fly us into early retirement.
BOYD
Thanks.
HOLLIS
No fatigue, handling two simultaneous drones and widescreen panoramic views.
What do you, like, see with your mind?
BOYD
I just find it easier to concentrate now. My brain's the same as yours.
(DRONE rolls onstage, perfectly blissful. Lotus position,

Buddha-like.)
HOLLIS
Your brain has never been the same as mine.
(Beat. As HOLLIS speaks, the DRONE zips around the
stage writing parking tickets and dropping them on cars.)
But, no bullshit, with everything you've been going through, it's putting things into
perspective for me. Like, maybe I'm too old to be hiring interns with the hopes
that I'll get to fuck them. I'm getting this pot belly. Getting to my expiration date,
and when I look back on what I've, like, wrought? NoVaDrone's doing great --
we're moving up in the ranks where we could get some military contracts -- but
there has to be more to life than--
BOYD
Twelve!
HOLLIS
What?
DRONE
Twelve parking tickets.
BOYD
I just wrote twelve parking tickets in one minute.
HOLLIS
Hot.
DOCTOR KASHI
Boyd?
BOYD
(Back in therapy.)
Yes?
DOCTOR KASHI
Boyd, what do you think about Monica's request?
BOYD
I wasn't paying attention, I'm sorry.
MONICA
Thanks.
BOYD
What was it? Tell me, please?
MONICA
I WISH YOU WOULDN'T SPACE OUT WHEN I'M ASKING YOU STUFF.
That's what I said.
BOYD
I hear you.
MONICA
You talk a big game, Boyd, about you're so much happier and freer now and you
can concentrate so much at work. Great. Good for you. But I don't see any of
that. You're still stuck in your head, but now you don't even have so much as a
shoulder for me to tap on...
(THE BODY starts tapping MONICA on the shoulders.
MONICA brushes him off without skipping a beat.)
....to remind you that I'm here. Concretely, nothing has changed. Nothing has
happened in real life to make me feel any better.
BOYD
Well maybe you should take responsibility for some--
(Beat. BOYD chooses a different approach.)
Y'know, you wanted more from a physical form than I could give you. So, great.
I'm doing better. Really, what can’t I do now that I could do then? I can give you
everything that I was already giving you, even more. And now you're free to do
what you want. It's a win-win.
MONICA
I didn't win, and I'm not free! I still have to take care of you and change your little
nutrient bath. And your Body still hasn't figured out how to put on pants.
THE BODY
Bodypants.
DOCTOR KASHI
Boyd, I think Monica is still feeling ill at ease with the current situation.
MONICA
(To BOYD.)
I want you to be normal.
DOCTOR KASHI
Ha!
(MONICA and BOYD glare as KASHI.)
Sorry. Continue.
MONICA
I want us to be normal. I want us to be at peace and not forever on eggshells. I
want to remember what it was like when we were first dating and you were still
sort of mysterious. I mean you're still mysterious, but there's no mystery to the
mystery. You're just distant. I want to go back to when it felt like we still had a
chance to grow into something more. Do you remember that?
BOYD
Of course.
(Lights shift. Flashback. MONICA and THE BODY stand

up from the couch and act out the date, THE BODY
perhaps mouthing the words as BOYD speaks them.
MONICA and BOYD each hold a golf putter.)
MONICA
So the weird bit is, see what I'm doing with my pointer finger?
BOYD
Weird.
MONICA
That is actually how you're supposed to hold a golf club.
BOYD
That seems like a recipe for injury.
MONICA
Oh you'll be fine.
(MONICA stands a couple of steps off.)
BOYD
Gosh, I just can't figure out how to do the grip correctly. I wish some big, strong,
golf-knowledgeable lady would come over and help me.
MONICA
(Chuckling.)
If you insist.
(MONICA stands behind THE BODY and puts her arms

around him, holding the putter with him.)
BOYD
Show me.
MONICA
So you hold it like this.
BOYD
I see
MONICA
Look at the ball. Look at the cup. Visualize the ball going into the cup. Swing
back, annnnd...
(They swing the putter forward. We hear the sound of

putter clicking against ball. MONICA and THE BOYD
look up expectantly. Beat. Beat. The sound of the ball
kerplunking into the hole. THE BODY turns back to face
MONICA.)
BOYD
Nice work, Coach.
MONICA
(Smiling. Sweetly.)
Boyd.
(A bit angry.)
Boyd.
(Turning to BOYD, now angry.)
Boyd!
(FLASH FORWARD to the present. Still in Kashi's office

where we were a few minutes ago.)
BOYD
Sorry.
MONICA
Unbelievable.
BOYD
I have an idea.
DOCTOR KASHI
Let's hear it.
BOYD
Monica, I can see you're frustrated that things haven't gotten better more quickly
between us. And you want to feel like our relationship is still growing, so: Let's
have a seder.
(Beat.)
You said once that you missed your family's seders out west, so -- let's have one.
Invite our friends. I'll invite Hollis and you can invite Renee and them. What's the
date? Is it Passover yet? I lose track of time.
MONICA
We've got a month. Why?
BOYD
Great, so, let's invite some local friends over. Let's have the seder that you always
wanted.
MONICA
I mean, I've been to plenty of seders, but I've never thrown one.
BOYD
It's just something to try, so that our family feels more like a family. Worth a shot.
DOCTOR KASHI
Does this sound like a plan, Monica.
MONICA
Yes, it does. Thank you, Boyd.
DOCTOR KASHI
(Touched by the adorability)
Awwwwwwwwwww. I did such a good job!
(Quick lighting transition to BOYD in soliloquy mode.

MONICA and KASHI leave.)
BOYD
I did a good job! This is what it feels like, right? Without my body to worry about I
can concentrate so much better on work and Monica and remember chemo? It's
supposed to be terrible, but I was really good at chemo. Sitting in the big room
with the other folks in arm chairs, that clean sadness. But I never really had to be
in that room because I would just look out the window, the whole time. Even if I
didn't have a seat right by the window that's where I looked. We were on a high
floor facing west, and some days you could see the Blue Ridge Mountains in the
distance, over the subdivisions. Sometimes the sunset. I was real good at chemo.
And some days I didn't even notice when they put the needle in or took it / out.
MONICA
(Entering, on the phone. They're at home.)
....out of my mind, over here. I just can't believe that you're suddenly spending all
of Easter week with your family. You guys never even go to church on Christmas.
(Beat. Listens.)
I thought it would be fun! We barely see each other since Boyd got sick so I
thought it might be nice to have you over for a family meal
(Beat.)
This is the sound of you being a shitty friend.
(She hangs up.)
Renee's not coming.
BOYD
Oh?
MONICA
Danielle. Denise. Huma. None of 'em want to come. So no seder, I guess.
BOYD
Whaddaya mean, no seder? We could still--
MONICA
Why? What's the point of having a seder to get our chosen DC family together if
none of them want to acknowledge my marriage to a disembodied central
nervous system?
BOYD
Are you sure it's about that? Maybe they're just busy.
MONICA
Boyd.
BOYD
Sorry sweetie.
MONICA
I need a hug.
(BOYD's servo-arms very slowly grind up to hugging
position.)
You know what, I'm just going to get a hug from your body.
BOYD
You won't hug me?
MONICA
Can you even feel a hug?
BOYD
Not really. But I have arms.
MONICA
They're not huggable. They look like desk lamps.
BOYD
It's fine. Call him.
MONICA
Thanks.
(Calling offstage.)
Boooo-deeeee.
(THE BODY walks in from the kitchen, wearing an apron
and carrying a spatula.)
C'mere.
(THE BODY does so.)
Gimme a hug, c'mon. A big one.
(THE BODY does so. MONICA takes the spatula out of
THE BODY's hand and puts it in BOYD's. It's a good,
tight hug. MONICA is a bit tearful. She speaks to the
BODY.)
I'm sorry, baby. Thank you. Thank you.
(BOYD tries to roll himself over and participate in the hug.
MONICA shrugs him off.)
That is not /helping.
(Enter HOLLIS.)
HOLLIS
...helping her.
BOYD
Which is all I'm trying to do!
(Exit MONICA and DRONE.)
I'm not trying to sabotage our relationship. I was trying to help. I have pressures,
too.
HOLLIS
People don't realize how stressful this job is.
BOYD
Back in the teens they were going to give medals to military drone pilots.
HOLLIS
I've heard that.
BOYD
The other day I read that, during the Jordanian war, drone pilots were the highest
suicide risk of any, like, genre of troop.
HOLLIS
I did not know that.
(Beat.)
How do you unwind, man? I mean you were never a gym-goer, and I guess now
you can't.
BOYD
I read a lot.
HOLLIS
You should play more video games.
BOYD
That's no longer my thing.
HOLLIS
Next week my Warcraft Guild has to cancel our raid date anyway because two of
the players have some Jewish holiday.
BOYD
That's Passover. The thing Monica and I were trying to sort out.
HOLLIS
Oh! Can I come? Can I invite myself ?
BOYD
Definitely. Yes, come. This'll be great.
HOLLIS
Who else will be there?
BOYD
At this point, it's you, me, Monica. The body. That's it.
HOLLIS
So none of Monica's friends can come?
BOYD
They're all busy, somehow.
HOLLIS
It would be nice to get in a room with some other people. Actual people. Not that
you don't count. You count. Sort of. But I'm spending a lot of time in front of
monitors these days, and it's hard to meet people, y'know what I mean?
BOYD
I do.
HOLLIS
Hard to meet women.
BOYD
I understood that was who you were talking about.
HOLLIS
So are you inviting any single /ladies?
KASHI
/Ladies night, since drinks are cheaper, but it's always a bummer. I'm getting too
old to go out like this--
BOYD
Can I jump in here?
KASHI
Sorry. Look at me yak yak yak. Go ahead.
BOYD
I was wondering if you wanted to come to the seder.
KASHI
Awwwww!!! Really?
BOYD
Yeah, because you know, she's upset her family is too far away, and her local
friends can't make it. You should come because you've helped us so much.
KASHI
I'm touched. I'm flattered. I'm nervous. I'm anxious. I'm terrified. Oh God. I've
ruined enough family dinners for my own family. Do you really want to risk that
with your family?
BOYD
It's really just dinner.
KASHI
Great. I eat dinner. Can I bring anything?
BOYD
How about /wine?
MONICA
(Entering with seder plate. THE BODY follows, wearing an
apron and holding a spatula.)
/Whining to me about how I never host anything and I never do anything for the
family but then when I do do something, are they here for it? No.
(KASHI exits. We're now in BOYD and MONICA's dining

room. A dinner table with six chairs. Not all the places are
set yet. Here, the scene becomes perhaps a little more
concrete than it's been through the rest of the play.)
BOYD
Why don't we focus on the positive? We're having people over to celebrate the
resilience of the Jewish people.
(The DOORBELL rings. Surprise!)
What do you want me to do with--
MONICA
We're not ready. How have you not finished setting the table?
(THE BODY goes to answer the door.)
BOYD
(Indicating his own arms.)
Still getting the hang of these.
(THE BODY opens the door. It's DOCTOR AMINAH

RAMEEN.)
DOCTOR AMINAH
Hello, Boyd.
THE BODY
Guhhrhhrhrrrhhh.
DOCTOR AMINAH
Pardon?
MONICA
Doctor Rameen! Welcome.
DOCTOR AMINAH
Hello. What happened to you, Boyd?
MONICA
You don't remember our therapy session last week?
DOCTOR AMINAH
Oh, you think I'm Kashi.
BOYD
Huh?
DOCTOR AMINAH
Boyd, I was your oncologist, Doctor Aminah Rameen. You were talking to my
younger sister, Doctor Kashi Rameen.
MONICA
(To BOYD)
You invited the wrong doctor?
(To DOCTOR)
Not that we're not grateful to have you. We just haven't seen you in a while.
DOCTOR AMINAH
I know how it goes.
(Inspecting BOYD's brain vat.)
Brain's looking good.
BOYD
Thanks.
DOCTOR AMINAH
Can barely see where the tumor was.
BOYD
You know we know your other sister, right?
DOCTOR AMINAH
I have no other sister.
BOYD
But--
MONICA
Boyd.
DOCTOR AMINAH
I have one sister. She is a psychiatrist, and she is the one who invited me here,
tonight, because she couldn't make it.
MONICA
I assumed Boyd had made a mistake.
DOCTOR AMINAH
When you're growing up as trip-- as twins, you figure out some tricks. One of the
big ones is subbing for the other person in potentially uncomfortable social
situations.
MONICA
It's no problem. Seders are all about being hospitable to random people.
DOCTOR AMINAH
When do we eat? I'm famished.
BOYD
Ha!
MONICA
You've never been to a seder.
DOCTOR AMINAH
There's no food?
MONICA
Not for a while, but soon we'll snack on symbolic herbs.
(DOORBELL. THE BODY opens the door to reveal
HOLLIS, holding wine and flowers and dressed in pastel
Easter finest. THE BODY unintentionally covers himself
with the open door.)
HOLLIS
What uuuuuup.
BOYD
Hollis! Welcome.
MONICA
Hi Hollis.
HOLLIS
Hello, Monica. Been too long.
MONICA
Hollis, this is Kashi.
DOCTOR AMINAH
Aminah.
MONICA
Aminah.
HOLLIS
Aminah?
DOCTOR AMINAH
Yes.
HOLLIS
Hollis.
DOCTOR
Hollis.
MONICA
Body? Can you go check on the matzoh ball soup?
THE BODY
Gurrghgh.
(THE BODY emerges by closing the front door. He goes to
the kitchen.)
HOLLIS
(To BOYD.)
Hey, it's you!
(Offers his hand to the BODY for a handshake.)
I'm Hollis.
THE BODY
(Grabs and shakes vigorously.)
Hhahaargh.
HOLLIS
Woah!
MONICA
He's not good at gentle.
THE BODY
(Heading towards BOYD's brain vat.)
Checkin' soup. Checkin' chicken soup.
BOYD
No no no. I'm not--
THE BODY
(Trying to stir the nutrient vat.)
Matzoh ballll.
BOYD
Monica, help me here?
MONICA
Body, no. Your brain is not a soup.
THE BODY
(Confused.)
Kitchen?
MONICA
Yes, kitchen. Good Body.
(THE BODY exits.)
HOLLIS
I brought wine.
MONICA
Manischewitz! Very nice.
HOLLIS
(To the DOCTOR.)
How do you know these guys?
BOYD
She was my oncologist.
HOLLIS
Sweet.
AMINAH
What do you do?
HOLLIS
NoVaDrone. For-hire drone operations, with my buddy here.
(Puts his arm awkwardly around whatever is the closest
thing to BOYD's "shoulders." Gives AMINAH a business
card.)
So, I notice you don't have a wedding ring.
AMINAH
Nope.
HOLLIS
Do you have to take it off to, like, oncologize people?
AMINAH
(To MONICA)
Do you need help in the kitchen?
MONICA
Sure.
(AMINAH and MONICA exit, leaving BOYD and

HOLLIS.)
HOLLIS
Who else is coming?
BOYD
This is it.
HOLLIS
But there's an extra chair. You, me, Monica, your dead body--
BOYD
Not dead.
HOLLIS
--And the nurse.
BOYD
Doctor.
HOLLIS
That's five.
BOYD
Right.
HOLLIS
Six chairs.
BOYD
Oh! Yes. It's a Passover thing.
HOLLIS
Extra seating.
BOYD
It's the seat for Elijah. Wandering prophet who comes back and sits down at your
table when it's time to return to Israel or whatever.
HOLLIS
Like Santa Claus for Jews.
(Beat.)
How's he going to sit at every Jewish seder table in every house across the whole
wide world? If you're sitting down to a whole meal, that's going to take a much
longer time than just popping down a chimney, munching some cookies, leaving
some presents, amirite?
(He pats BOYD hard on the back.)
BOYD
Careful. You'll slosh my nutrient fluid.
HOLLIS
How do you know when Elijah shows up?
(The doorbell rings.)
BOYD
(Referencing his own physical slowness.)
Could you...?
HOLLIS
Sure.
(HOLLIS goes and opens the door. It's KASHI. She has a
box of wine.)
KASHI
Happy Passover! Who are you?
BOYD
Hi, Doctor...Kashi?
KASHI
Boyd! How's it hanging? Where's Monica?
BOYD
In the kitchen with your sister.
HOLLIS
(A happy realization.)
You're twins?
BOYD
(Calling offstage.)
Body? Body, can you please get another chair from the bedroom?
(Beat.)
It never listens to me.
KASHI
Are they fucking yet?
HOLLIS
Who?
BOYD
Really?
KASHI
Oh, shit. HIPA regulations. Sorry. I was nervous about coming, so I sent Aminah,
but then I figured that was weird, so I came myself, and I was already sampling
the Franzia. Samplin' it real hard. Where can I sit?
(She sits in the Elijah chair.)
BOYD
Your sister's already here.
KASHI
Beenish?
BOYD
No, Aminah. Did you invite Beenish too?
KASHI
Of course not. I'll go say hi to Aminah.
(KASHI snags the franzia by the box handle and heads into
the kitchen.)
HOLLIS
She single?
BOYD
Hollis.
HOLLIS
I work hard, man. In my head all the time. Work work work. Laser focus. When I
go to celebrate a family holiday, I like to connect. I like to honor the fact that all
families are built on a foundation of fuckin'. People get knocked up, and bam:
family.
BOYD
I don't know if they're single or like men or what.
HOLLIS
But I have your blessing?
BOYD
I just need tonight to go smoothly. Monica and I are going through a rough patch.
(KASHI, covering her mouth, sprints from the kitchen door

across the stage to the bathroom.)
HOLLIS
Is she okay?
BOYD
(Ignoring KASHI's sprint.)
We're trying to fix our marriage. One mind, one body. We're trying to remember
what it was like -- to re-member it, if you will.
HOLLIS
Preach.
BOYD
So, though I know you're interested in meeting people, I'd appreciate it if you
could be on your best behavior.
AMINAH
(Entering from kitchen.)
If I'd known Kashi was coming, I wouldn't have.
BOYD
What's the matter?
AMINAH
She asked me to come in her place, which I did as a gesture. Because I'm the oldest
and gesturing is what we do. Didn't she tell you we've been fighting? Haven't
spoken in months.
BOYD
That would have been inappropriate.
AMINAH
That's why I assumed she told you. She has terrible boundary issues.
HOLLIS
(Enticed.)
Boundary issues?
(THE BODY enters, MONICA close behind him with the

Franzia box.)
MONICA
Let's get this seder starteeeed. Find your seats. I'll sit at the foot of the table and
Boyd, you sit at the head! Hah! Get it?
HOLLIS
Because he's only a head!
BOYD
(To MONICA.)
How much have you had to drink?
MONICA
(Ignoring him.)
Who wants a first cup? Hollis, break out the Manischewitz. The Franzia's kicked.
AMINAH
Where's Kashi?
(HOLLIS opens the Manischewitz. We hear KASHI

retching from offstage. HOLLIS hands the wine to
MONICA.)
MONICA
Passover requires that we each drink four ceremonial cups of wine. Boxes don't
count.
(She starts pouring for everyone, BOYD's glass first.)
BOYD
I can't drink it.
MONICA
That's Elijah's cup.
AMINAH
Remind me, who's Elijah?
MONICA
Boyd, would you like to explain?
BOYD
Elijah is--
HOLLIS
Please. Allow me.
(To AMINAH)
Elijah is this prophet who wanders eternally in the desert, and you leave a cup of
wine for him at Passover in case he happens to wander to your house.
AMINAH
Thanks for clearing that up.
HOLLIS
I like to research the religious backgrounds of whatever festivals of friends of
other faiths that I attend.
AMINAH
That's very thoughtful.
HOLLIS
You should know, Elijah is really a secondary character. Passover is mostly the
story of Moses leading the--
AMINAH
I know who Moses is.
HOLLIS
Of course you do. You know, I'd really love it if you told me more about the
storied tradition of Islamism.
(Vomiting sounds from KASHI offstage.)
AMINAH
I should check on my sister.
(She exits to the bathroom.)
MONICA
Time for the first cup!
(She lifts her glass.)
HOLLIS
Should we wait for--
(KASHI enters, disheveled.)
BOYD
You okay?
KASHI
Boot and rally! Let's do this. Where do I sit?
HOLLIS
Where's Aminah?
KASHI
She offered to clean up.
MONICA
Sit here, dear.
(Gesturing to the last empty seat, which KASHI takes.)
Everybody got their cup? First cup! Baruch something something.
(MONICA downs her cup. THE BODY, HOLLIS, and

KASHI follow suit.)
KASHI
I should probably get some carbs down, set up scaffolding for the rest of the
drinking. Don't you have rolls or something?
MONICA
No yeast!
BOYD
(To KASHI)
It's Passover, so you can't have any leavened bread because when they were
running from--
MONICA
(Puts her hand over BOYD's "speaker.")
Shhhh! Don't ruin the Passover story! It's the best part of Passover. What'll
happen? Will the Jewish people escape Egypt? Who knows?
KASHI
Can I have one of those big crackers?
MONICA
It's matzoh, and NO FOOD YET. This is a very traditional, family-friendly seder.
THE BODY
Famuhleee.
KASHI
That's so sweet. He said a word. Honey, why didn't you drink? Drink your cup.
BOYD
(To MONICA.)
Why are you being so mean?
MONICA
I'm being festive.
BOYD
I was trying to help you.
MONICA
Well, clearly you failed, Captain Wonderful. But thanks anyway. Salud.
(MONICA impulsively picks up the wine from in front of
BOYD and pours it in his brain vat.)
BOYD
What did you do? Do we have any more nutrient fluid?
MONICA
Wine is full of antioxidants and grapes.
BOYD
Monica!
MONICA
Fine! Body? Can you whip up another batch of nutrient fluid for Boyd?
THE BODY
Flood.
(THE BODY shuffles into the kitchen. BOYD's roboarms
start doing the wave involuntarily.)
HOLLIS
Why are you waving?
BOYD
I've never had alcohol in here. I don't know what it'll do.
(Doorbell DING. The doorbell echoes slowly through
BOYD's brain, now drunk, whose eyes we see through.
MONICA and BOYD look at each other.)
HOLLIS
We expecting anybody else?
MONICA
Nope.
(THE BODY has shuffled in from the kitchen leaves a

medicinal-looking pitcher of nutrient bath on the table
before going and opening the front door. It's BEENISH.)
BOYD
I feel like I wanna throw up.
BEENISH
You can't.
HOLLIS
Triplets!
MONICA
Welcome!
(Vomiting sounds from off.)
BEENISH
Kashi's here?
HOLLIS
And Aminah. You three are such lovely sisters.
MONICA
Rosh Hashanah is--
BOYD
Passover.
MONICA
Passover is about family togetherness.
BEENISH
I hate them. How's your brain, Boyd?
BOYD
Tipsy.
HOLLIS
So you're the middle sister?
BEENISH
Obvy.
MONICA
I'm going to check on your sister.
(Runs off L, vomits.)
HOLLIS
Three siblings together. So rare that families get together face to face anymore.
BEENISH
Gas prices. Also I hate them.
HOLLIS
It's just so amazing to me that you all got the same genetic code, but you -- I know
I just met you, but you have totally different personalities. Like Kashi, she's all
party girl wild child, so she's barfing. And Aminah is the oldest so she's all
responsible and doesn't even enjoy anything. And you, you're more, "I'm in the
middle! I'ma be skeptical and watch from afar."
BEENISH
(Redirecting.)
How you doing, Boyd?
HOLLIS
Me, I'm an only child. My brain is the only brain like mine there is, anywhere. But
the three of you, y'all's got the same brain. If you wanted, you could even do like
Boyd here, swap em out.
BEENISH
Not the same procedure. And not the same brain, I promise.
(MONICA bursts in, haggard, wiping her lip.)
MONICA
Everybody! I feel much better now! Just wanted to let you know. That I apologize
for anything that might have gone poorly in the show thus far. The dinner. It's not
a show. Do people do dinner and a show anymore?
BOYD
You're rambling.
MONICA
I think the stream of my consciousness is fascinating.
(VOMITING from the bathroom.)
BEENISH
I apologize for my sisters' behavior. Excuse me...
(She exits to the bathroom.)
HOLLIS
Look at it this way. You succeeded in bringing a family together! Just not your
family.
MONICA
Shh--!
(MONICA shushes them. She is listening at the bathroom

door. We can hear the sisters fighting from offstage.)
BEENISH
These people invite you into their home, and this is how you repay them?
AMINAH
Maybe a little loyalty, here, Beenish.
KASHI
I'll cut both of you bitches.
AMINAH
You're drunk, Kashi.
KASHI
And you a stuck up old bitch.
BEENISH
I'm only six minutes older than you.
KASHI
I was talking to Aminah.
AMINAH
I'm only twelve minutes older than you.
KASHI
You can't get the stick outta your oncologist ass long enough to enjoy a seder--
AMINAH
That's it!
(AMINAH enters.)
MONICA
Do you need anything?
AMINAH
I need to leave. This night is different from all other nights and I just can't.
MONICA
But we didn't even get to the haroset.
AMINAH
Maybe next year. Thank you, all.
HOLLIS
A pleasure.
AMINAH
Yep.
BOYD
Bye.
AMINAH
Goodbye.
(She exits through the front door.)
BOYD
Hey, my body! Hey! Over here. Look, could you go in and help them? In there?
Bring them some paper towels?
(THE BODY looks around as if it doesn't understand what

that noise is.)
MONICA
Body. Please get paper towels from the kitchen.
THE BODY
Kitchn.
(Exits to the kitchen.)
BOYD
Unbelievable.
HOLLIS
(Rising out of his seat.)
I could help--
SIMULTANEOUS MONICA AND BOYD

Siddown.
(HOLLIS sits down.)
THE BODY
(Reentering with two rolls of paper towels.)
Pappr towlz!
BOYD
(Pointing.)
That way.
THE BODY
Thaway.
(Goes to exit to the bathroom, but is interrupted by the
entering KASHI.)
KASHI
(Disheveled, grabbing one of THE BODY's rolls of paper
towels.)
I'm very sorry very sorry for ruining your seder. But on the plus side it looks like
you've really been connecting and giving yourselves time to, like, love each other.
Good job.
HOLLIS
It was a pleasure to--
(But KASHI's already vanished out the front door.)
Two strikes. Now! Now it all comes home to roost, all these chickens I been laying.
BEENISH
(Entering from the bathroom.)
Did what I could in there.
MONICA
Over and above.
BOYD
Thank you.
HOLLIS
You are a lady! A lady amongst ladies.
BEENISH
Thank you?
MONICA
C'mon, pull up a chair. Let's eat.
(They sit, MONICA at the foot, BOYD at the head, and
BEENISH and HOLLIS on the upstage side of the table.
THE BODY stands by.)
Body! Can you please get the karpas?
THE BODY
Karps!
(Exits to kitchen.)
BEENISH
(Leafing through Haggadah.)
The karpas, that's the green vegetable?
MONICA
Parsley, yeah.
BOYD
Yum. Parsley.
MONICA
You can't eat it anyway.
BOYD
I still feel woozy from the wine.
(THE BODY enters with a plate of parsley and a bowl of

salt water.)
HOLLIS
(Who has been sneaking looks at his Haggadah, to
BEENISH.)
The green vegetable represents the rejuvenation of spring, and the salt water
is...um...the tears of sadness of the Hebrews walking through the desert.
MONICA
How about your little vitamin bath, Boyd? Is that salty?
BOYD
There are electrolytes, I guess? I can't taste it.
Why don't we just dip it in the salt water you so lovingly prepared for us.
MONICA
Great idea. Let's pass it around to the right. And now that we're finally all sitting,
let's taste the parsley, and taste the salt, and remember the story of...
(She stands up and holds the parsley.)
It's so hard to get people together these days. Travel is so expensive and I haven't
seen my family in person in ages. So I really appreciate everyone coming here
tonight to be with us. I feel obliged to mention that this is not usually how these
things go. And I'm a little embarrassed. It just all happens so fast. One day you're
going about your business the next day you're having a really strange party with
your bisected friend and his medical team and his coworker. It's just a lot to
process. And we're all trying to process that much stuff, all the time! Every day. So
that w can ever focus on anything ever, is really kind of miraculous. So let's pass
this stuff, taste it, breathe...and remember what's important.
(They pass the parsley, and then the salt water. They inhale
the parsley like rabbits. It's silent and sad. Eventually
MONICA starts weeping. Beat.)
BEENISH
I'm having a lovely time.
HOLLIS
Me too!
MONICA
You guys should probably just go.
HOLLIS
But I want to see how the story ends.
MONICA
Obviously we made it out of Egypt. It's okay. I really appreciate it. Please, take
some food with you. Just take the haroset, which is what people actually like. It's
apples and nuts and wine. Can't lose. Body, get them some tupperwares of
haroset, please?
THE BODY
Tupperwarez.
(Exits to kitchen.)
MONICA
I'm sorry to put you out.
BEENISH
Gotta do what you gotta do.
(MONICA gets up to say goodbye to BEENISH and

HOLLIS.)
HOLLIS
Thanks so much for having me.
BEENISH
Is he going to take long with the -- haroset? Is that how you say it? I should catch
the bus.
HOLLIS
You want a ride?
BEENISH
That would be great, thank you.
(THE BODY enters.)
THE BODY
Harooooset!
(BEENISH and HOLLIS politely take the tupperwares

from THE BODY.)
BEENISH
Thanks.
HOLLIS
Thanks. I'll give you the tupperware when I see you on Monday, Boyd?
BOYD
(Still with his roboarm out.)
Yep. Thanks for coming.
BEENISH
Bye.
HOLLIS
Bye.
MONICA
Bye.
BOYD
Bye.
THE BODY
Farrrewell.
(They guests exit. THE BODY closes the door and stands
by it.)
MONICA
I've got the spins.
BOYD
Maybe you should stop--
(She drinks more wine.)
MONICA
Dog of the hair.
BOYD
I feel terrible about this.
MONICA
You don't feel anything. You have a computer that sends signals to your grey,
wrinkly little brain, but you don't feel things.
BOYD
I was trying to help you have time with your family! That's what this all was.
MONICA
Didn't work. And with you, it's not the thought that counts.
BOYD
Thoughts are all I have.
MONICA
Because you gave the rest away. You gave it all away because you were too cruel to
me and to yourself, too selfish, too lazy -- I don't know. But you gave it all away,
and what am I left with? My family isn't talking to me--
BOYD
I'm sorry.
MONICA
--And I'm alone. I'm all alone here.
(MONICA is weeping. Stillness.)
BOYD
Body. Body!
THE BODY
Gruh?
BOYD
Give her a hug. Now!
(THE BODY steps over to MONICA and stiffly embraces

her. She hugs back, full, weeping into his shoulder. The
weeping slows.)
BOYD
Good. Good. Are you feeling better now?
(MONICA lifts her head and kisses THE BODY on the

mouth. Unlike BOYD's fantasy from when he first saw the
BODY, this is actually happening, and it's hot. MONICA
and THE BODY intensify. BOYD hovers a bit. Then:)
BOYD
That was nice.
(MONICA pulls away from THE BODY for the first time.)
BOYD
What you were doing was nice. I liked it.
(MONICA steps over to BOYD, puts her hand on his back

and jerks out some cords. Lights go down on everything
except BOYD.)
BOYD
Monica? Did you just -- now I'm alone but presumably I'm in the room with her
even if I can't see or hear her so that makes us "alone together," right? We're alone
together.
(Lights back up. THE BODY looks disheveled. MONICA,

after plugging BOYD's cords back in, finishes buttoning her
shirt. Then:)
MONICA
(To BOYD)
Don't worry. You didn't miss much.
BOYD
Why did you turn me off ?
MONICA
Because for a second I thought I would find something that I remember,
something that was once beautiful to me, something without words that would
salvage us, but no. There's nothing there. There's nothing left.
(The drone office. HOLLIS enters and is listening

attentively.)
HOLLIS
Can't move on, huh?
BOYD
I remember she kept saying / "there's nothing left."
MONICA
There's nothing left.
BOYD
While she packed. Most of her stuff is gone. Some suitcases. And the sheets -- not
that I need those. I just plug into a charging dock.
(MONICA, with rolling suitcase, looks BOYD in the "eye.")
MONICA
Take care of yourself, Boyd.
(She walks out the door.)
HOLLIS
That's rough.
BOYD
Yeah.
HOLLIS
You never know. She'll spend a couple of nights at home with her family, and then
maybe she'll realize, hey! "This is America in the twenty-first century. We can have
a slightly untraditional relationship, and it's okay." Unless she...
BOYD
What?
HOLLIS
Who has the Body?
BOYD
I do. She was very generous with that. He helps me out around the house. It's
nice, spending some time with him. Like we're college roommates. Or brothers? I
don't have a word for it.
(Beat.)
HOLLIS
So I've spending some quality time with Beenish.
BOYD
Huh?
HOLLIS
Your head doctor friend? The one who cut your brain out?
BOYD
Yeah?
HOLLIS
Oh yes. And brains aren't the only organs she's handy with, know what I mean?
BOYD
Hollis.
HOLLIS
Where else can I talk about this stuff if not here?
BOYD
Literally anywhere else.
HOLLIS
I just thought we had something else going on, two of us. Old friends. Compadres.
But whatever, man. I was excited to share, but no prob. From now on I'll keep it to
my lonesome. Super professional.
BOYD
Appreciated.
(Beat.)
HOLLIS
See you tomorrow, man. You still got this one? Northwest DC, traffic patrol?
BOYD
Yep.
(Lights up on another part of the stage, where drone hovers
with binoculars.)
HOLLIS
G'night then.
BOYD
Good night.
(HOLLIS exits. BOYD's alone with the DRONE. The

DRONE does a full 360 with his binoculars.)
BOYD
How's traffic looking?
DRONE
Light.
BOYD
Anybody speeding?
DRONE
Nope.
BOYD
Driving on the shoulder?
DRONE
One tow truck.
BOYD
Roger that. I think everything checks out here.
DRONE
We've still got two hours on our shift.
BOYD
Are there other drones in the air?
DRONE
Two by the baseball game, maybe? There's a blimp.
BOYD
Perfect. We've been working hard. Let's take a little break.
DRONE
Back to base?
BOYD
There's so much of the world to see, my four-rotored friend. You can fly. That's so
much freedom.
DRONE
Whatever you say.
BOYD
Thank you. Where are you now?
DRONE
Eighteenth and Connecticut Ave. 38.906 degrees--
BOYD
Terrific. Increase altitude to two-hundred fifty meters and head towards 38.957
degrees north and 77.371 degrees west.
DRONE
That's well outside our free fly zone.
BOYD
So?
DRONE
I'm just trying to do my job, man.
BOYD
Great, so do what I tell you.
(Beat.)
DRONE
Increasing altitude to two-hundred fifty meters.
BOYD
Thank you.
DRONE
Heading towards 38.957 degrees north and 77.371 degrees west.
BOYD
What's our ETA?
DRONE
Sixty minutes. It'll be dark.
BOYD
That's fine. Tell me what you see.
DRONE
Office buildings. The Potomac. The sunset over the Potomac. Bigger office
buildings. Traffic on the toll road. Strip malls.
(Lights dim on the DRONE as he makes his journey.

BOYD is alone in the office.)
BOYD
Maybe the server closet here. I could hide in there, nobody ever goes in where the
servers are. I'll plug myself in. That'd be great. Stuck stuck stuck. But, I could plug
myself into the servers, make sure everything runs smoothly so that nobody has to
look for me back there. Nobody would see me. But I could help society, be a part
of society while being apart from it, flying drones and making sure the gears are
meshing. I can multitask. Only so much processing power needed if I fly one
drone at a time, right? One drone at a time, and then I'm free to let my mind go
where it'll go. I'll be on the internet and there are all those public domain books I
can read from before one hundred fifty years ago. I'll have time enough at last --
infinite -- and all of the space -- practically none. I will miss the wide open spaces.
And what about those inevitable moments when the internet goes down?
Darkness. The paint will peel, and the office will close eventually. And I'll be out
on the street begging for electricity and multivitamins. Might as well...
(Beat. He moves his server arms up to grab his brain, but
they won't quite touch his head vat.)
C'mon, get up there. Get. Up there. Goddammit!
(He drops his arms. Mentally exhausted.)
Maybe the drone is enough. He'll fly westward from DC, over the Potomac and
the beltway and the bland hills of Northern Virginia. To the strip malls and the
office parks. Right up to my little office park window at:
DRONE
38.957 degrees north and 77.371 degrees west.
BOYD
Thank you. Decrease altitude to three stories high. Watch out for the trees.
DRONE
Decreasing altitude.
BOYD
(Back to himself.)
And the drone will glide down and slowly the building where I am sitting right
now, the night vision green glow of that building will get bigger and bigger and
slowly, slowly, the rest of the world, the traffic, the people and the problems, the
lovers and the haters, the concerns and the questions and even the quiet.
Everything disappears except the image of the office, and one solitary window has
a light on behind it. And the drone will hover close to the window, the window
where I am. And watching the monitor, I will see the drone's point of view, the
back of me, and me, whatever I am, will be looking into the monitor, yes? So the
drone sees into my monitor, into which the drone will see my monitor, into which
the drone will see my monitor, and onwards and onwards down an infinite two
dimensional tunnel on the screen. And faced with that, eyeing that, being asked to
handle that much visual field at once, my mind, which has been my best friend
and only constant companion all these years, never absent, always with me, when
faced with the infinite tunnel of looking my mind will finally just--
(Blackout. Beat.)
Breathe Boyd. Just breathe.
(The lights slowly warm and come up washing the full
stage.)
I see my lungs, and my diaphragm. Breathe. The alveoli filling with air, and
transferring the oxygen to the capillaries, exchanging it for carbon dioxide.
Breathe. Red, oxygen-soaked platelets pumping out into the arteries. Breathe.
(Beat.)
Wait. I can't actually breathe. I'm only a --
DRONE
Are we done here?
(BOYD turns around to face the drone.)
DRONE
What do you want me to do?
BOYD
Just land somewhere. I'm going home.
(The DRONE complies, heading offstage.)
(BOYD makes his way home from the office. We hear a

couple of voice mails on the way. BEEP. And then:)
HARRISON
Hey man. So, what exactly happened with the drone that you parked on the roof
of Tyson's Corner Mall? Can you call me back please?
BEENISH
(From off.)
Can I talk to him?
HOLLIS
(To BEENISH.)
Sure.
(To phone.)
Hold on. Beenish wants to say something.
BEENISH
(Taking phone from HOLLIS, who exits.)
Boyd, this is Dr. Beenish Rameen. Just reminding you that you and the body are
due for a checkup. Gotta make sure everything's running smoothly. Gotta do
maintenance, remember to keep your brain vat between thirty-six and thirty-eight
degrees celsius, and recharge nightly. You can't fix yourself. Bye, Boyd. Hollis, you
want to say bye?
(Beat.)
Hollis says bye.
(She hangs up. Now, BOYD and the BODY are at home
watching a sit-com, the tv light on their faces. THE BODY
is eating from a bowl of fresh popped popcorn. THE
BODY occasionally laughs at the show. BOYD does not.)
THE BODY
(As if to say, "Want some?")
Pahpkern, Body?
BOYD
No thank you. And again, I'm Boyd, you're the Body.
THE BODY
I'm Boyd you're the Body.
BOYD
No, I'm Boyd you're the Body.
THE BODY
I'm Boyd you're the Body. Got it. Pahpkern?
BOYD
I can't eat popcorn.
THE BODY
I can eat popcorn.
BOYD
Yes, you can.
THE BODY
Yes you can.
(THE BODY shoves the popcorn bowl at BOYD. It's too

fast for BOYD, and THE BODY drops the bowl. It
BREAKS.)
THE BODY
Uh-oh.
BOYD
Can you clean that up, please?
THE BODY
Yes please.
(He grabs the broken glass with both hands.)
Agh!
(He drops the glass. Turns to BOYD. His hands are both
bleeding quite a bit.)
Uggghhhh.
BOYD
Oh jeez.
THE BODY
Gugg.
BOYD
No, just stay there. Don't move.
(THE BODY freezes. BOYD is a little frantic, searching
around the room.)
Where are the bandaids?
THE BODY
(Still frozen.)
Garrr.
BOYD
You're allowed to point.
THE BODY
(Pointing.)
Garrrr.
BOYD
Good. Don't move.
(BOYD gets the first aid kit form where the BODY pointed.
This is difficult, since BOYD is using his mechanical arms.
He gets to the point where he has a big band-aid out and
he can't quite get it out of the paper wrapper.)
Dammit. Um. Can you -- your fingers are no good. Can you like bite the edge of
the paper flap here?
(THE BODY, as gingerly possible, bites the edge of the
paper flap on the band-aid wrapper while BOYD pulls on
the other one. He extricates the big bandaid.)
Great. Now, again, on the little paper bit there? Yes.
(THE BODY, again clumsily, bites off the little bit of wax
paper that covers the pad of the bandaid.)
Show me your hand. Show me the cut.
(THE BODY does so. BOYD, as best he can, covers it with
the bandaid.)
Oh lord. Okay. Bandaid number two.
(BOYD goes back to the first aid kit to retrieve another
band aid.)
Oh crap. I forgot to clean off your hand. You've gotta wash it off before we put
the bandaid on it. It'll get infected. Oh, you're bleeding a lot. Why aren't there
more of the big band-aids? Dammit--
THE BODY
(Still having some trouble speaking, but this is more clear
than ever before.)
Thank you very much for helping me you fixed my hand thank you for taking care
of me thanks.
(Beat.)
I love you, Boyd.
(Beat.)
BOYD
I love you, too.
BLACKOUT. END OF PLAY.

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The Absent Minded

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THE ABSENT MINDED

20 Feb 2017 - New Colony Public Reading

BOYD M, 30ish. Lapsed Catholic. Any ethnicity.

MONICA F, 30ish. Jewish. Eastern European descent. Married to Boyd.

HOLLIS M, 30ish. Any ethnicity. Boyd's friend and business partner.

DRONE A remote-operated drone vehicle. This actor also plays THE

- Rene Descartes, Meditations on First Philosophy

Fucking is just a way for two people to be alone together.

- Kristin Idaszak, The Liar Paradox

(As the audience enters the theater, the stage is empty

(Once the audience is seated, the lights go down, the doors

(QUICK blackout on the BRAIN before it utters "three.")

(BOYD is isolated in a spotlight, lost in thought. Silence.

(Lights up on MONICA and BOYD's simple apartment.

(DOCTOR AMINAH has entered wearing a hijab, lab

(She kisses him on the mouth. They kiss. HOLLIS enters,

(HOLLIS raises his hand for a high-five. BOYD obliges.)

(BOYD turns to MONICA. HOLLIS exits.)

(HOLLIS lifts his hand for a high-five. BOYD obliges.

workstation. We don't see the monitor, but we do see the

(BOYD presses to the side on one of the joysticks, the

(MONICA enters. BOYD looks over at her, absent-

(MONICA enters with two yoga mats. She starting rolling

(They go into cobblers pose.)

(They breathe for a couple of cycles. Suddenly, the

(DRONE exits. Silence. Breath. Lights change. Boyd opens

(DRONE enters as before.)

(The DRONE floats away.)

(BOYD gets in drone-flying gear.)

(An unseen person hits the DRONE with a thrown rock.

(BOYD grabs MONICA by the shoulders and kisses her.

(They go back to kissing. The lights draw down on the rest

(Lights up. The scene has changed and BOYD is sitting on

(Enter the neurologist, DOCTOR BEENISH RAMEEN.

(BOYD stands up from the bed. MONICA and the bed

(We're in BOYD and MONICA's apartment. BOYD has

(BOYD points at another picture. MONICA recoils.)

(BEENISH enters. We're now in her lab. She's in the

middle of answering MONICA's question. BOYD and

(DOCTOR BEENISH pulls MONICA to a corner of the

(MONICA leaves. BEENISH seats BOYD in a chair, straps

(BEENISH gets out a circular saw, the kind of thing you'd

(They kiss for a few seconds. BOYD suddenly pulls pack

(BOYD has a seizure. He goes down on the floor. The

you should go see a doctor.

(BOYD is isolated in a spotlight. MONICA exits. The

(BEENISH is there. She's exhausted. She holds up two

(BEENISH turns BOYD so that he's no longer facing her.)

(Beat. BEENISH snacks.)

(MONICA bursts in. Her hair is significantly longer and a

(Stage goes dark except for a spot on BOYD.)

(Enter HOLLIS, wearing a baja and carrying a glass pipe.)

(DOCTOR BEENISH and MONICA enter, mid-

(DOCTOR BEENISH leaves. MONICA flops down on the

(Enter DOCTOR KASHI, mid-session with BOYD,

(DRONE rolls onstage, perfectly blissful. Lotus position,

(Lights shift. Flashback. MONICA and THE BODY stand

(MONICA stands a couple of steps off.)

(MONICA stands behind THE BODY and puts her arms

(They swing the putter forward. We hear the sound of

(FLASH FORWARD to the present. Still in Kashi's office

(Quick lighting transition to BOYD in soliloquy mode.

(KASHI exits. We're now in BOYD and MONICA's dining

(THE BODY opens the door. It's DOCTOR AMINAH