SAMPLE STUDENT RESPONSE (SL)

Text 1 appears in a handbook on homekeeping and deals with cleaning products specifically. The text
introduces homekeepers to a brief history of cleaning products and educates them in current cleaning
products.

It is fair to say that this text is targeting women who are interested in housekeeping. We know women
are the target audience, because the text refers to how women used to clean their homes. She would
have been familiar with the bleaching properties of lemon juice (lines 7-8). This indicates that women
are interested in the history of cleaning. These are not women who casually grab a cleaning product in
the grocery store on the way home from work. These are women who have time to read an introduction
to celaning products, study labels on cleaning products and carefully select the right products for the
right jobs. In fact, they don’t just clean their floors, windows and clothes, they cared for them (line 2).

The purpose of this text is to enlighten women on the history of cleaning products and to inform them
about current products. It is a kind of call to return to one’s roots. In lines 13-15 we see evidence of this,
Because of the convenience offeed by many new products, much of that knowledge has faded. But it’s
just as important today as it was a century ago. If the author can convince the reader of the importance
of this subject, then she can get them to read on through this section on cleaning products. We see this
especially in lines 19-21, Armed with a few facts, you can confidently choose the cleansers, polishes, and
detergents that will allow you to clean more effectively and efficiently. We assume the reader wants to
clean moreeffectively and efficiently, after learning about the theoretical side of cleaning.

The style of the text activates the reaer. This is primarily due to the grammar and vocabulary. The text is
written in the second person, or “you” form. As you walk down the aisles of your grocery store you may
have a hard time (ines 1-2). This makes the reader feel involved in the story. Furthemore the style is very
explanatory. Two sentences in the second paragraph begin with the word because (lines 13 and 15). The
reader gets the impression that this historical explanation will help her make sense of the “myriad” of
products available today (line 5). Words like chemistry (line 6) and science (line 12) indicate that there is
some sensible way of understanding soap from tallow and ashes, and cleaners from lemon juice, borax,
vinegar; and baking soda (lines 3-5). It is almost as if the author walks the reader through a forest before
showing her the clearing up ahead.

The author also uses a lot of imagery and parallel structures to convey her message. Lines like bleaching
properties of lemon juice, the disinfecting power of vinegar; and the grease-cutting abilities of bakinf
soda (lines 8-9) serve as visualisations of a tidy house (line 7). Gramatically speaking these are parallel
structures that read smoothly for the reader. We see them again in line 10, tablecloth stained with
blueberries and one marred by gravy (line 11), and again in lines 16-17, cupboards can quickly become
cluttered, and confusion about which products to use can abound. Again these images remind us what
kinds of challenges the homekeeper must face. The author may have presented the reader with these
images in order to scare her into reading the rest of the text about cleaning solutions.

Structurally speaking we can also see that this text is meant to activate homekeepers. There is a large
clue that this is an introduction to cleaning products. Besides the title Cleaning Products 101, we see a
few lines that indicate a new section of factual information on products will follow: A little knowledge
about ingredients and their individual properties can help remedy that. Armed with a few facts, you can
confidently choose the cleansers (lines 17-19). This indicates a structural shift in the text and a lot of the
reader’s expectations hinge on these lines.

All in all the text suits its purpose in introducing the reader to the importance of cleaning products for
homekeeping. Martha Stewart makes an effort to convince her readers to read on and learn more about
the science of these cleaning products. She promises to prepare her readers with the essential
knowledge to keep a proper home.

You may have noticed that the sample student response is structured using some of the Big 5. As a
default method of analysing a text, you could focus on one aspect of the Big 5 per paragraph. If you
come across a text that does not lend itself well to all five aspects, then you are free to deviate from this
method. Think of the Big 5 as a support to guide you when outlining your Paper 1 answer rather than a
list that has to be worked through at all costs.
EXAMINER’S COMMENTS
The following comments offer an indication of how an examiner might assess this student’s response,
which on the whole met the top descriptors of the grading criteria.

CRITERION A: UNDERSTANDING OF THE TEXT – 4 out of 5

The analysis of the text is very insightful. The student understands correctly that the text introduces a
chapter on cleaning products in a larger work on housekeeping. There is good awareness of the target
audience, as the student notices how homekeepers “care” for their homes. This example also
demonstrates critical thinking.

CRITERION B: UNDERSTANDING OF THE USE AND EFFECTS OF STYLISTIC FEATURES – 4 out of 5

The student understands the use of stylistic devices, citing the words science and chemistry, which are
meant to mystify the reader. Furthermore, the student identifies the use of imagery and integrates
relevant exmaples of it. Generally speaking, the illustrations are very well chosen, as they support the
main ideas. Well done.

CRITERION C: ORGANISATION AND DEVELOPMENT – 5 out of 5

The student included excellent signposts for the reader. The paragraphs are organised around several
textual aspects such as audience, purpose, style, imagery and structure. Everything in each paragraph is
relevant to the topic sentence of the paragraph, including the examples. The quotes are well integrated
into response, so that the points are backed up and explained properly. The introduction and conclusion
are concise and effective. The main arguments are developed coherently.

CRITERION D: LANGUAGE – 4 out of 5

The use of vocabulary is appropriate to the task, though there could have been more sophisticated use
of linking words. Generally speaking, the text is fluent, which is due to proper use of grammar and
punctuation.
<Taken from Brad Philpot’s English Language and Literature for the IB Diploma (Cambridge)>

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