Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can

cause you serious social problems , as well as practical problems.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

These days, people claim that living in a non-native country where you cannot
speak your mother tongue brings about difficulty in socializing as well as
confusions in daily life. However, I consider its drawbacks, I still think living in
foreign country can help people enhance soft skills.

To begin with, non-native speakers can face up to inconvenience in not only their
workplace but their daily life also. Because they are not familiar with this
language, they mispronounce words or use them in wrong context . As a result,
they can not express their ideas to others successfully when making projects at
their company or fail to explain what they want in the groceries. Additionally, not
being able to use the language can discourage people from associating with people
and make them feel isolated from surroundings.

On the other hand, living in a foreign country and speaking its language make you
gain a lot of new things because you have to learn a lot about its culture including
beliefs, system of language to integrate into a community , communications which
is different from yours which expand your knowledge. What is more, it increase
your soft skills . For example, when you speak another language , it will give you
another perspective on your language. How does it feel when people speak too
quickly and use jargon with you? You may learn to use your language accurately
and carefully.

In conclusion, despite the fact that people can face mental problems and lose
motivations, they can gain a huge benefits from it.

Bài này của em gãy nặng về nội dung vì đề nó hỏi là “to what extent…” nhưng em
lại không đưa ra rõ position của em như thế nào. Em đưa ra 2 body paragraphs nói
về 2 mặt nhưng anh không hiểu là cái nào quan trọng hơn với em? Nếu em muốn
viết theo kiểu counter-argument thì phải đảm bảo em bẻ lại được thông qua ngôn
ngữ và ý tưởng, đây em viết 2 body paragraphs gần như không ăn khớp hay liên
quan gì luôn (không có quan hệ cụ thể gì ở đây).

Ideas development khá kém vì em sắp xếp thông tin không hợp lý và đọc cảm giác
nó bị rời rạc + position kém/ conclusion không rõ rang => TR chỉ 5.0 là max.
Ngôn ngữ không thống nhất được về style (informal phrases) + ngữ pháp sai rải rác
từng câu => LR 6.0, GR: 6.0