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Causes Of Unhappiness:
Why Everyone Is So Unhappy
(With Examples)
Written by Christian
Published on March 11, 2020, last updated on December 13, 2020
Unhappiness – or sadness – is a part of life. Everyone experiences
unhappiness once in a while. But what if it seems like you’re unhappy
all of the time? What causes your unhappiness?

Research seems to show that unhappiness – and happiness – is

caused by patterns in our lives: patterns in how the things we do,
which are called behavioral patterns, and patterns in the things we
think, which are called cognitive patterns. Different behavioral and
cognitive patterns lead to different emotional patterns, which are part
of what determines how happy we feel from day-to-day.
The path to being happier can be long, and sometimes requires great
changes in one’s life. In fact, being happy is something you need to
cultivate every day, but adopting the right patterns in your life and
then sticking to them. In this article, we’ll look at some of the common
patterns that lead people to be unhappy, and what you can do about
them.

We all feel down from time to time – and if it’s in response to a

particular situation, that’s normal. However, many people feel
unhappy much of the time, and that points to a bigger problem. So
what are the main causes of unhappiness? Why is everyone so
unhappy? And more importantly, what can you do if you often feel
unhappy?

This article will explain everything.

Contents [show]

This article is part of a much bigger guide on learning how to become

happy that I’m sure is the biggest freely available guide on the internet
right now. This article contains some great tips, but you’ll find a lot
more actionable tips in the section Happiness Tips!

Behavioral patterns that lead to

unhappiness.
We all have good and bad habits; that’s part of being human.
Nobody’s perfect, and that certainly shouldn’t be your goal. Instead,
it’s important to identify which habits or behavioral patterns in your
life are contributing the most to your unhappiness, and then try to
change them. There are lots of different behavioral patterns that can
have a negative effect on your happiness, but here are some of the
most common ones.

1. Staying indoors

There’s more than one good reason to leave the house. For example,
did you know that spending time in nature is scientifically proven to
increase happiness? Recognizing that fact has never been more
important than today when so many of us spend more time indoors.

People who do spend more time in nature tend to report being

generally happier, and studies show that spending time outdoors
increases cognitive functioning, improves your immune system, and
reduces stress and blood pressure. All things that help contribute to
being happier.

2. Isolating yourself

There’s another good reason not to spend too much time at home.
Humans are social beings; it’s one of the main ways we deal with
stress. And yet, only about half of Americans experience meaningful
in-person interactions on a daily basis. In some parts of Europe, up to
40% of people have only one meaningful interaction with friends or
family per month.

Social isolation leads to feelings of loneliness and boredom, which

can both cause severe unhappiness. In fact, one article from the
American Psychological Association linked social isolation with
“adverse health consequences including depression, poor sleep
quality, impaired executive function, accelerated cognitive decline,
poor cardiovascular function and impaired immunity at every stage of
life.”

3. Excessive drinking and drugs

What? No way. Alcohol is fun! Well – yes and no. Alcohol and drugs
(including cannabis) can cause a person to be less inhibited and
experience short-lived feelings of happiness. But in the long-run, they
both can negatively impact your happiness.

Alcoholism and drug dependency can lead to some seriously negative

consequences: fatigue and decreased energy, feelings of guilt,
difficulty concentrating and making decisions, feelings of pessimism,
insomnia, irritability, loss of appetite, and physical pain.

It’s probably okay to have a glass or two of wine with dinner or a few
beers with friends – but if the next day you find yourself feeling
unhappy, stressed, or anxious, it may be time to reevaluate that
behavior. Everybody’s different, which means that your friends’ or
family’s behavior may not be right for you. Alcohol and drugs have
become deeply ingrained in our culture, but that doesn’t necessarily
mean that they’re not contributing to your unhappiness.

4. Not sleeping enough and not sleeping

regularly

There are so many ways that sleep is important for your happiness.
Doctors recommend between 7 and 9 hours of sleep, and for good
reason. When you don’t get enough sleep, your brain can’t regulate
itself properly, and your emotions can start to go wild and take over.
While the science may be complex, the evidence is clear: people who
get adequate sleep tend to feel happier.

This effect of sleep on happiness was personally tested here on this

blog as well!
5. Chronic inactivity, lack of exercise, and
poor nutrition

Physical activity and nutrition are both fundamentally linked to

happiness. In fact, one study in Clinical Journal of Sports Medicine
found that “People who were inactive … were more than twice as
likely to be unhappy as those who remained active.”

And it’s not just a question of unhappy people being less happy –
becoming physically active led participants to be happier.

That’s not surprising, given that physical activity has been linked to
increased confidence and emotional stability, positive body image,
improved self-control, decreased anxiety and depression, decreased
feelings of hostility, and reduced abuse of harmful substances like
cigarettes and alcohol.

Finally, when it comes to happiness, you are what you eat. One study
found that, even after controlling for socioeconomic status, weight
and physical activity level, children with poorer diets were
consistently less happy.
And one German study found that healthy eating correlated with
improved mood and happiness, the biggest effect caused by eating
vegetables.

Cognitive patterns that lead to

unhappiness

Just like our poor behavioral habits can detract from your happiness,
so can poor cognitive patterns – that is, the way you think about
yourself and the world around you. Luckily, this is something that you
can learn to control. If you recognize the following patterns, you’ll
know where to start.

1. Tending towards dissatisfaction

Chronic dissatisfaction can manifest in a couple of different ways.

Perfectionism, or feeling like you ought to be better at things than you
are, is one of them.

Especially when you’re already unhappy, it’s easy to feel like you’re
failing at one or more things in life. But as Dr. John D. Kelly points
out, “perfectionism is a byproduct of dysfunctional thinking”, like a
preoccupation with insignificant details, focusing on negatives, and
disproportionate thinking.
Others feel dissatisfied with aspects of their life – their job, their
relationships, or their living or financial situation. There’s a difference
between being driven and being chronically dissatisfied. If you find
that you tend to be more dissatisfied than satisfied with things in your
life, chances are you’re stuck in a negative pattern of thinking. If your
coworkers, partner, friends or parents seem to constantly let you
down – you may have developed an inappropriate cognitive pattern.

2. Skewed affective forecasting

We’ve spoken about affective forecasting before – the ability to

accurately predict how a situation’s outcome will make you feel in the
future. All humans are pretty bad at it, but some people tend to
overestimate negative impacts and underestimate positive ones. As a
result, you may often feel like there’s nothing to look forward to.

Plus, like all habits, the longer you do it, the more deeply ingrained
the behavior comes. Once you fall into the pattern of negative
affective forecasting, you’re more likely to start seeking out possible
negative outcomes and ignoring the positive ones.

3. Focusing on negative past and future

events

The Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu said:

If you are depressed, you are living in the past.

If you are anxious you are living in the future.

There’s some truth to that, but it may be a little more complex. One
study found that anxiety is related to both remembering and
imagining more negative events, while depression is related to
remembering and imagining fewer positive events. Either way, the
problem is one of a negative cognitive pattern – the tendency to either
focus on negative events, or to have trouble focusing on positive
ones.

How to fix your unhappiness?

These kinds of negative cognitive and behavioral patterns are the

main causes of unhappiness and dissatisfaction in people’s lives. The
good news is that you can take control of the situation. Here’s how:
1. Identify your negative patterns

Admitting you have a problem is the first step. Okay, a little cliché, but
it’s actually true. You’re going to first need to find out which of the
above negative patterns or habits are contributing to your
unhappiness. And this list is by no means exhaustive – there may be
some other pattern of behavior or thinking that’s affecting your
happiness. That’s okay because this method works for all of them.

First, start keeping a journal. There are lots of different ways to keep a
journal, and we’ve spoken about how to get started. The most
important thing is to keep track of your day to day life and try to find
patterns that can you to be unhappy. Then, there are two ways to go
about identifying your habits: passively and actively.

Passive identification: How are you feeling now?

Passive identification involves evaluating your current thoughts and

behaviors: do you have better days when you get more sleep? How
about when you exercise? When you spend time outdoors? Are there
certain activities that always cause you to be happier? Sadder? How
do you normally react to (perceived) negative situations; how do you
usually feel thinking about the future; how do you usually feel looking
back on past events?

Active identification: Okay, now try this…

Active identification involves adding or removing thoughts or
behaviors to see how they affect your happiness. Try sleeping eight
hours every night; what do your journal entries look like? How about
if you eat really well for two weeks? Try imagining positive future
events three times per day – what effect does that have? Practice
gratitude every day for a week – how do you feel at the end of it?

2. Change your negative patterns

Now that you’ve identified your negative behavioral and cognitive

patterns, you need to take steps towards changing them. We know
that forming new habits can be hard, but there are some excellent
resources out there to help you. One of our favorites is by James
Clear, author of Atomic Habits; he’s written a guide on forming new
habits. This works especially well for new behavioral habits.

As for cognitive ones, there are a number of different psychological

techniques for changing the way you think. If you didn’t know that
was possible, it definitely is! You can master your own thoughts, and
change your negative cognitive patterns into positive ones.

One technique that’s successfully helped millions of people change

their negative thinking patterns is called Cognitive Behavioral
Therapy. Hey, that sounds right on the money! Yep. CBT is a self-
therapy technique that helps you to identify negative thinking patterns
and replace them with positive ones. Check out this useful list of 25
CBT techniques for improving your thought patterns.
3. Keep evaluating, keep improving, stay
happy

If you can successfully find which negative behavioral and cognitive

patterns are making you unhappy, and address them, you’ll be able to
start feeling happier in less time than you may think.

But happiness is like a garden – it has to be tended. Otherwise, weeds

can settle back in.

And the longer you let them grow, the harder they are to take up. So
continue evaluating yourself for negative patterns, address them as
you find them, and you’ll stay happy.

We’ve written dozens of helpful articles that teach you how to be

happy. Here you’ll find amazing tips on how you can tend your garden
of happiness.
Christian Rigg

Writer

Academic researcher and writer with a passion for statistical analysis,

neuropsychology and mental health.

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2 thoughts on “Causes Of Unhappiness:
Why Everyone Is So Unhappy (With
Examples)”

Felix mgbame
June 27, 2021 at 5:30 pm
I think we shouldn’t attach anything to the level of our happiness
base on materials things. Happiness is a gift and it’s a quality
attached to our real being — the spirit which is the most
essential of humans.
Reply

Hugo Huijer
June 28, 2021 at 9:52 am
👍👍👍
Reply

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