BUTTERFLIES AND HURRICANES

A substance abuser’s narrative

“ Gusto ko nga kun mamatay man

gani ko, maayu ko sa pagtan-aw sa
akong pamilya. Kay kun namatay pa
ko niadtong hitaboa, makaingun
siguro cla ug “MAYRA”

Aldwin Alburo lived a good life. 

Married to a loving wife and graced
with two lovely children while enjoying
a 9 to 5 job as a photocopier
technician to a generous company, he
was in cloud nine. After working for 9
years, he was 1 technician holding
245 accounts.  He thought he couldn’t
get higher but he did.

When the generous company had to

close for internal issues, its
employees were given their last pay
as adieu. But fate was Aldwin’s good
friend. He has proven himself a hardworking man and a goddamn good technician so
the 245 accounts stayed with him and multiplied whilst cutting off the middle man. More
clients, more income,a much better life.

Then fate whispered to Aldwin that he was meant for something more. It wasn’t at all
being greedy rather ambitious. He wanted to give his family the world-what father
wouldn’t want that? So, he succumbs to fate’s allure. Simultaneous to being a
technician he ventured in buy and sell. After all,who else would reign supreme at selling
a machine than one whose hands knows it’s anatomy from coverings down to the
copper.

Business was good. The photocopier technician who, once upon a time ago, lived with
his family of four in a rented room now owns and calls home a two-storey house in the
city.  He also has in his name other properties such as land, vehicles and a happy, well
provided family.  He thought he couldn’t get higher but he did.
Despite the high life, Aldwin remained a humble man and as generous was fate towards
him, he too treated other people the same.  His homecoming to his birthplace always
seemed like a fiesta for his clan. A feast in honor of the good life he was given; A feast
in honor of the stars that aligned for him.

Humility and abundance often attract people closer to you but none is ever a guarantee
of just what sort of people because even those who pose as friends have a tendency of
pushing you to your abyss. Aldwin remained on top of avoiding these. He hasn’t strayed
from his path. He has not the intention of ever doing so.

But as often one ignores the Raven, shall more it cometh banging on your chamber
door and the human part of Aldwin can no longer ignore. Darkness embraced the night
accompanied by the cacophony of merrymaking among drunken friends. Then came a
whisper,

 “ Gamay lang bai, makapawala ni sa hubog “.

“Sige,gamay lang…karon lang”

The flapping of the butterfly can start a distant hurricane. The little in one time, overtime
grew often and more.

He thought he couldn’t get higher but he did.

He gained more friends because he was a very generous man. He enticed more women
because he was a generous lover. He was loved by his fellows because he provided
more than enough stones for burning.

He thought he couldn’t get higher but he did.

 But this was a different kind of high. The high dragged Aldwin to his lowest. He lost
everything- The material, immaterial and the family that mattered to him most.

The buy and sell man now sells all of his. The repair technician could no longer fix
himself.

The Police one day was in pursuit of a wanted man with another name but Aldwin was
at the wrong place at the wrong time doing all the wrong things.The guns started firing
and the sea was his only escape. He started swimming but the gunshots didn’t stop.
The knock of death knocked some sense back into the man.

“Ginoo akong mga anak unsaon nalang?!”

He stopped swimming and turned himself in. For a couple of weeks he had free access
to a room,food and beverage but he was not a free man. It wasn’t jail that made him
decide to stop. It wasn’t nearly dying either. Aldwin finally decided to stop because he
thought,he must have been kept alive for a reason.

Stopping wasn’t easy.The urge of reunion with an old flame has a method of
sugarcoating itself to making you believe that you needed it in your life. A fast healing is
a lie and pretentious.

Convincing other people that a man thrives to turn his life around wasn’t easy either. So
Aldwin and the others like him that society have branded as a certain people had to go
past shame to overcome their demons.

He thought he couldn’t get higher but now he knows he can and that not all highs are
good. Aldwin is not the same man he was at the beginning of this narrative but he also
is no longer the same man at the middle of it. He is now a changed man for the better
who to this day continues to change while convincing others to change as well. A man
who then was a recovering substance abuser of the Rehabilitation and Reintegration
program of the City of Bogo and now a facilitator of that same program counting the
days of abstinence, working very hard to avoid the number to be at zero.