WHY DO WE LIE

-Its okay to be smart

 Experiment for testing (Dan Ariely, behavioural economist) if people lie the scores in the
maths test given.
 On average 7/10 people tell the scores greater than they actually got.
 The people don’t lie as big as they could lie. They made a calculated lie. Not big enough to
raise suspicion.
 If you think lying is abnormal or incorrect then you are wrong. Well everyone lies.
Eg: Various common example can be given. Also, if someone asks you “How you doing?” Do
you tell the actual truth? These are just lies.
 WHY DO WE THIS WHY DO WE LIE?
 WHAT IS A LIE- Its “someone acting to create a false belief in their victim.”
 TYPES OF LIES:
1. Spoken Untruth
2. Avoiding Truth
3. Exaggerated Truth (Most Common One in my sense)
4. Doubting Truth
 Lying can be useful and some may be very good at it.
Like animals uses signals and their body for lying attracting their food or preventing any
attack from their prey. Camouflage.
 But human can verbalise the lies.
 What do we want out of the everyday interactions that we have ?
 May be just to be pleasant
 Our opinions heard.
 Give some impressions of ourselves.
 Make other feel good, strengthen or friendship.
 Influence others. Push them to do something.
 Increase our status or power.
 Everyday White Lies. 5 categories
1. Lies about our opinions and feelings.
2. Plans and whereabouts
3. Our knowledge, achievements and even our failings.
4. Explaining our actions and behaviour.
5. Personal facts or possesions.

Here’s my list of the 15 most common white lies and why we tell them:

1. It wasn’t me! – Because some things just aren’t worth taking credit for.
2. The table will be ready in 5 minutes. – Because it sounds a lot better
than 15 minutes.
3. Oh, yeah.  That makes sense. – Because option B involves admitting
that I am clueless.
4. Thank you so much!  I just love it! – Because telling someone that their
gift sucked would make me look like an insensitive jerk.
5. Yeah, you look great in that dress. – Because it’s better than being
slapped.
 6. Oh, things would have been different if I was there! – Because I’m
Superman and I can always make a difference… or at least that’s how I
want others to perceive of me.
7. No, officer… I have no idea how fast I was going. – Because claiming
ignorance is sometimes better than admitting to insubordination.
8. I’m 29. – Because 29 is like 20 years younger than 30.
9. Yeah, I’ll start working on that ASAP! – Because telling you I have 10
things to do first would just irritate you.
10. Yes, John was with me last night. – Because that’s what friends do…
we agree and ask questions later.
11. My resume is 5 pages long for a good reason. – Because I’m darn
good at bullshittin’!
12. Man, that sucker was 10 feet long! – Because anything less would be
boring.
13. Yeah, I was a badass on my high school football team! – Because I
want to be seen by others in an even stronger light than I see myself.
14. I’m 21, 6’5, with a muscular build. – Because you can’t see me in this
online chat room… ha ha!
15. I thought I already sent that email out.  I’m sure I did. – Because
telling you that it was a low priority and I forgot would probably hurt our
relationship

(Source: https://www.marcandangel.com/2007/10/04/the-15-most-
common-white-lies-and-why)

 HOW DO WE JUSTIFY OUR LIES? RATIONALIZING LYING

 Protecting the target of the lie (Other Oriented Lies) and also
themselves (Self-Centered Lies). Think that its Worse to tell the truth
so they lie. And in your head you feel altruistic or nice about lying.

 Being honest all the time isn’t a great idea in strengthening social bonds.
Most serious lies will be told by and to people's closest relationship. Because there is a
lot more to lose.
Relationships are complicated.
Solutions: ??
 “People intentions are sometimes more important than their actions.”

 WE ARE NOT GOOD LIE CATCHERS

 Even professionals’ lawyers among us players.
 Because we have bias to believe that what other people tell us is generally true.
( Well I don’t believe this in general)
 Our default assumption is that we are not being lied to. WHY?
Evolution. We need to survive depend on other. Example believe in other when they
say there is a predator.
 But lying in the internet can be too dangerous
 If there is a difference between you and the people you are lying to then chances
and extent of lying increases. (twice in experiment)
 Its easier to lie when you don’t have to do that in someone’s face.
  Getting lied to and cheated to sucks. The people who are cheated won’t cooperate with you
or other people until they get justice. So people lie carefully and not often.

 Solution – “Promise that you won’t lie or cheat”

Here the conscious mind weighs in and that’s enough for the people to not lie

6 Ways to Detect a Liar

1. Start by asking neutral questions.

By asking someone basic, nonthreatening questions, you are able to

observe a response baseline. Ask them about the weather, their plans for
the weekend, their name of mother or anything that would elicit a normal,
comfortable response. When they respond, observe their body language and
eye movement—you want to know how they act when they are telling the
truth. Do they shift stance? Glance in one direction or the other? Or look
you dead in the eye? Make sure you ask enough questions to observe a
pattern.

2. Find the hot spot.

observe a change in body language, facial expressions, eye movement,

and sentence structure. Everyone will give different subconscious clues
when telling a lie, which is why it’s important to observe a normal baseline
prior to entering the lie zone.

3. Watch body language.

Liars often pull their body inward when lying to make themselves feel
smaller and less noticeable. Many people will become squirmy and
sometimes conceal their hands to subconsciously hide fidgety fingers.
You might also observe shoulder shrugging.

4. Observe micro-facial expressions.

People will often give away a lie in their facial expression, but some of
these facial expressions are subtle and difficult to spot. Some people will
change their facial coloration to a slighter shade of pink, others will flare
their nostrils slightly, bite their lip, perspire slightly, or blink rapidly. Each of
these changes in facial expression signifies an increase in brain activity as
lying begins.

Bite lips to induce a fake smile. Liars are more likely to press their lips
together, leaving their smile looking forced or tense

5. Listen to tone, cadence, and sentence structures.

Often when a person is lying they will slightly change the tone and
cadence of their speech. They might start speaking more quickly or slowly,
and with either a higher or lower tone. Often, the sentences they use
become more complex as their brain works on overdrive to keep up with
their tale.

6. Watch for when they stop talking about themselves.

People who are lying will also sometimes start removing themselves from
their story, and start directing the focus on other people. You will hear
fewer me’s and I’s as liars try to psychologically distance themselves from
the lie that they’re weaving.