A clean shaven Schmidt and Jenko nod and deploy.

SCHMIDT
I’m Doug. I love drinking beer and fucking bitches. I've had sex
with twenty sluts and I'm only 18. What?
ANNIE (O.S.)
Schmiddy, hand me the box of maxipads under the sink. Quickly.
Schmidt takes a very deep breath. Jenko slowly reaches for the
20’s and pockets them.
EXT. VALLEY HIGH PARKING LOT - MORNING
The Corvette JUMPS the curb and skids to a stop in the DEAN’S
parking space. Jenko and Schmidt exit. Schmidt runs his hand over
a new Porsche parked in the PRINCIPAL spot.
SCHMIDT
What kind of Principal makes enough money to buy a Porsche
Carrera?
JENKO
The suspicious kind.
Schmidt and Jenko walk towards campus. A TEACHER with a bloody
nose runs to his Toyota Celica and speeds away.
They continue past SHEA, a young Black man in wifebeater and
khakis who rubs his knuckles and glares at Schmidt and Jenko.
They continue between PICH and BORIS, a lanky Cambodian "kid" and
an intense Armenian "kid", both in wifebeaters and khakis.
SCHMIDT
Sup dawgs.
Boris flicks a cigarette butt at Schmidt’s feet. Pich blows a
smoke ring from a fat blunt. Schmidt and Jenko move on. They
pause under a heavily vandalized BULLSHARK statue.
JENKO
I sense a breakdown in authority.
SCHMIDT
Muthafuckas be wilding out.
SALVADOR, diesel built Latino "kid", brutally SHOVES a small kid
out of his way and settles at the school entrance next to CALVIN,
a massive white “kid” in wifebeater and khakis. They mad dog
every kid who enters school. The BELL rings.
JENKO
Pretty clear what needs to be done.
Jenko takes off towards a 300 pound nerd sitting on a planter,
wrapping up a fierce round of "Magic: The Gathering".
BRYAN
I don't see how you guys can ever survive the power of my
Necropotence.
Jenko SHOVES Bryan into the planter.
JENKO
'The hell you looking at?
BRYAN
Nothing! Nothing!srtjyg
JENKO
You calling me "nothing"?!
Jenko PUNCHES Bryan in the stomach, sending him to the ground.
Bryan writhes around, wheezing. Students run over.
BRYAN
I can’t breathhhe.
BRYAN'S DORK FRIEND
You jerk! He has asthma really bad!
Schmidt wrestles Jenko away. A WHISTLE BLOWS and they are tackled
by DEAN STANTON, 40, ex-military, a lone man struggling to keep
order in the midst of anarchy.
DEAN STANTON
You wanna get rough, punks?!
Dean Stanton hustles them into school past Calvin.
INT. PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE - DAY
Dean Stanton shoves Jenko and Schmidt into a plush office.
DEAN STANTON
They parked in my spot, and tough guy in the bandana punched a
kid.
PRINCIPAL WHITEMAN, 45, creepy smile, nods at Dean Stanton.
PRINCIPAL WHITEMAN
I’ll take it from here.
DEAN STANTON
But --
PRINCIPAL WHITEMAN
Thank you, Dean Stanton.
Stanton reluctantly exits. Whiteman smiles.
PRINCIPAL WHITEMAN