GROUP DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:

1. Did Uncle solve the problem? Is the structure likely to reverse by as much in the
future? What meaning, in this instance, had the uncle carried when he says “solved”?

- We can determine in the story that it is already a nature to each of everyone that
respect begets respect. However, when we always see in some dramas (which are most
likely happening in real life), if you still continue to be kind the other one is not. But
based on the story, it seems Uncle deeply knows what was the characteristics of the
mother and Li-Li, and he know the structure of the relationship of those two.

Yes, he was able to solve the problem of Li-Li. It may also recur sometime in the future especially
when the mother-in-law found out that Li-Li tried to poison her to solve the problem between
them. He was able to solve the problem temporarily because Li-Li was able to work with her
temper and behavior towards her mother-in-law for almost 6 months to the point that they
never fight again.
2. Had he made any effort to present specific physical interventions for the two (such
as arbitration, physical separations, ultimatums and so on)?

- Yes, as you can see on the part where he gives an alternative suggestion to Li-Li’s
demand to him. “Now, in order to make sure that nobody suspects you when she dies,
you must be very careful to act very friendly towards her. Don’t argue with her, obey
her every wish, and treat her like a queen” – this specific statement clearly says to he
tried a little and not obvious intervention to those two.

Yes, he said the she should put the herb poison every time they eat so the poison can build up to
her mother-in-law. He also advised to control her temper and behavior and just adhere to what
her mother-in-law wants to do.

3. If he had not (‘turned up at the scene of the crime’), how had he ‘managed’ to do
this (remotely)? What did he say? Not say? What did he do? Not do?

List ten things that had happened in the story to illustrate the four questions here.
Those steps that had allowed the uncle resolve the systemic nature of the structure and
help participants within the structure learn to turn it around from its vicious to virtuous
nature by themselves?

 Understanding Li-Li’s demand

 Analyzing the situation where he is
 Giving an alternative solution with other purpose
 Suggesting a kind act hoping for a positive result
 Quickly giving what Li-Li wants
 Agreeing in her opinion
 Sharing some hatred to add fuel in the fire
 Lying that there’s no herb that’s dangerous like that
 Ignoring completely her demand and give fake herbs
 Inform the mother-in-law about the heinous plan
 Li-Li went to see Mr. Huang who sold herbs for poison.
 Li-Li told her situation and said he would help her.
 Mr. Huang told Li-Li to listen and obey what he tells to her.
 He told Li-Li that he gave her a poison that build up to slowly kill her mother-in-law to
avoid the suspicion.
 She should put the poison every time she prepares meals for her mother-in-law.
 She should also change the way she behaves to her mother-in-law and always obey her.
 For 6 months, the behavior of her mother-in-law changed and Li-Li too.
 She came back to Mr. Huang to ask for help to keep the poison from her grandmother.
 He revealed that the poison he provided was herb that improves health.
 He said that the only poison was in her mind and attitude were washed away by love
she gave.

4. How long would it have taken the MIL & DIL, had they known what systemic
structures are and had learned to work with them, to uncover the systemic structure
and the time they would have taken to deal with it? Who can make the difference
faster for them? Clients or the consultants? In which scenario would the work be more
believable? What would this mean now in terms of the ways we manage change (in
our change management efforts going forward)? For teams? For organizations? For
the nation?
As we discussed, it will be fast, they would realize that awareness will make things
faster. It depends on the situation and what both sides can offer to each other. When an
organization are undergoing an internal transformation, let’s say for example,
employees’ organizational structure, the process of the transformation will be much
faster if the client has already a vision or recommendation in their minds before the
consultants can give their side on the transformation. This means that change depends
on how complex the problem is. The more complex, the harder the process, costly and
timeline is extended. If it is not complex, of course, the change will be implemented so
much faster than before.

5. Personal work: Notice what you had liked about the story. Notice also what you had
struggled with?

We personally liked in the story is how depicting the moral of this story. The person who
loves others will also be loved. In the situation we are currently facing right now, the
interaction between other people is now very minimal. With that, the negativity always
surrounds us and we tend to forgot to love everybody. We always tend to be angry so
the outcome the people we talk is angry to. And this part where we struggled with
because being angry doesn’t always come in good results. The two main characters are
always angry and, in the end, their perception is that they always fight.

6. Personal work: Think of scenarios in your own realities that you may consider
testing these principles with. Record your thought, feelings, reactions and results as
they happen. Learn to become a keen observer of your realities. See and understand
patterns

Our group meet in an online app to share our heartwarming sentiments towards this
situation and we realize that it is the pandemic shows how our emotions and situations
gravely affects our daily life. It is our physical and mental fortitude that keeps us steady.
Speaking of emotions, we always tend to misunderstand the approach of our relatives,
family or special ones to us. Sometimes even if they purpose is to be concern or cared
but on how to deliver it or by the action is sometimes mismatched. With all those
misunderstandings and misconception on what is really the thought of the message,
with just an open-minded conversation and always priority to be kind and respect, the
contrary will do the same.