7 A GORILLA IN THE GUEST-ROOM

Dear Mr Durrell, Could you please have our Rhesus monkey? He is growing so big and jumping on
us from trees and doing damage and causing so much trouble. Already my mother has been in bed
with the doctor three times...

It was towards the end of the second year that I decided that the zoo, not being wellestablished,
must cease to be a mere show-place of animals and start to contribute something towards the
conservation of wildlife. I felt that it would be essential gradually to weed out all the commoner
animals in the collection and to replace them with rare and threatened species — that is, species
which were threatened with extinction in the wild state. The list of these was long and melancholy;
in fact — without reptiles — it filled three fat volumes. I was wondering which of this massive list of
endangered species we could start with, when the decision was taken out of my hands. An animal
dealer telephoned and asked me if I wanted a baby gorilla.

Gorillas have never been exceptionally numerous as a species, and with the state that Africa was in
(politically speaking) at that moment it seemed to me that they might well become extinct within
the next twenty years. Newly emergent governments are generally far too busy proving themselves
to the world for the first few years to worry much about the fate of the wildlife of their country, and
history has proved, time and time again, how rapidly a species can be exterminated, even a
numerous one. So the gorilla had been high on my list of priorities. I was not convinced, however,
that the dealer in question was really expecting a gorilla. In my experience, the average animal
dealer can, with difficulty, distinguish between a bird, a reptile, and a mammal, but this is about the
extent of his zoological knowledge. I felt that it was more than likely that the baby gorilla would turn
out to be a baby chimpanzee. However, I could not afford to turn the offer down, in case it really
was a baby gorilla.

"How much are you asking for it?" I inquired, and took a firm grip on the telephone.

"Twelve hundred pounds," said the dealer. A brief vision of my bank manager's face floated before
my eyes, and I repressed it sternly.

"All right," I said, in what I hoped was a confident voice. "I'll meet it at London Airport, and if it's in
good condition I'll have it."

I put down the telephone to find Jacquie regarding me with a basilisk eye. "What are you going to
have?" she inquired.

"A baby gorilla," I said nonchalantly. "Oh, how lovely," said Mother enthusiastically. "They're such
dear little things."

Jacquie was more practical. "How much?" she asked. "As a matter of fact, it's very reasonable," I
said.

"You know how rare gorillas are, and you know that our policy now is to concentrate on the rare
things. I feel this is a wonderful opportunity"
"How much?" Jacquie interrupted brutally.

"Twelve hundred pounds," I replied, and waited for the storm.

"Twelve hundred pounds? Twelve hundred pounds? You must be mad. You've got an overdraft the
size of the national debt and you go and say you'll pay twelve hundred pounds for a gorilla? You
must be out of your mind. Where d'you think we're going to find twelve hundred pounds, for
heaven's sake? And what d'you think the bank manager's going to say when he hears? You must be
stark staring mad."

"I shall get the money from other sources," I said austerely. "Don't you realize that this island is
infested with rich people who do nothing all day long but revolve from one cocktail party to another,
like a set of Japanese waltzing mice?

It's about time they made a contribution towards animal conservation. I shall ask them to contribute
the money.

"That's an even stupider idea than saying you'll have the gorilla in the first place," said Jacquie.

Ignoring my wife's pessimistic and antisocial outlook, I picked up the telephone and asked for a
number.

"Hallo. Hope? Gerry here."

"Hallo," said Hope resignedly. "What can I do for you?" "Hope, I want you to give me a list of all the
richest people on the island." "All the richest people?" said Hope in bewilderment. "Now what are
you up to?" "Well, I've just been offered a baby gorilla at a very reasonable price...twelve hundred
pounds...only I don't happen to have twelve hundred pounds at the moment... " The rest of my
sentence was drowned by Hope's rich laughter. "So you hope to get the wealthy of the island to buy
it for you?" she said, chortling. "Gerry, really, you're dotty" "I don't see what's wrong with the idea,"
I protested. "They should be glad to contribute towards buying such a rare creature. After all, if
breeding colonies of things like gorillas aren't established in captivity soon, there won't be any left at
all. Surely these people realize this?" "I'm afraid they don't," said Hope. "I realize it and you realize it,
but I'm afraid the average person either doesn't or couldn't care less." "I suppose you're right," I said
gloomily. "Anyway, I think it's worth a try, don't you?" "It's worth a try, but I wouldn't pin too much
faith on their generosity, if I were you," said Hope. "Anyway, give me half an hour and I'll ring you
back." Half an hour later Hope dictated a list of about fifty people over the telephone, while I wrote
them down feverishly. Then I looked up the telephone numbers, took a deep breath, and started.
"Good morning. Mrs Macgurgle? Gerald Durrell from the zoo here. I'm so sorry to worry you, but
we've just been offered a baby gorilla...at a very reasonable price...twelve hundred pounds... Well,
yes, but it's not expensive for a gorilla... Well, I was wondering if you'd care to purchase a small
portion of it...say a leg or something? You would? That's immensely kind of you. Thank you very
much indeed... Goodbye." By lunch-time I had collected two hundred pounds. Only another
thousand to go and the gorilla was mine. It was at this point that I discovered the next person on the
list was Major Domo. I had never met him and I had no idea how he would react to the suggestion
that he might buy a bit of gorilla. To my immense relief, the suggestion seemed to amuse him, for he
chuckled.