Dear (insert name here),

I immensely dislike you. It is unbelievable how much you repulse and disgust
me.

Your (incredibly annoying voice, snaky/rude/“cool”/”funny”/etc. remarks,

unpleasant facial/body features that makes it look like someone took a dump on you,
vibe that emanates “I’m better/smarter than you and I don’t really care about
anything or anyone except for me”, tendency to speak because you like the sound of
your voice) just make me want to vomit out of every place I could. If I could
vomit out of my eyes, I would every time I looked at you. If I could vomit out of
my ears, I would every time I heard your scathing voice.

Why do you keep on bothering everyone? No one wants to talk to you. Maybe if
you were (nice, pleasant to be around, had better personal hygiene, not such a jerk
face), people would enjoy your company.

You are not (“popular, “cool”, loved by everyone, funny, better than everyone
on Earth at everything). I find you so (icky, yucky, superficial).

I wish you were a little nicer. You are ruining everyone’s lives by (pestering
or annoying them, bullying them, poking fun at the way they look or dress, just
being plain ol’ mean), and I have come to the conclusion that most people want you
far, far away so you cannot badger them anymore. It is quite unnerving to have you
around, with the constantly rude and inconsiderate crap spewing out of your mouth,
especially the (unnecessary swearing, magnitude of your voice, incredible whiny
tone of your voice, overall thought of you).

Please, I beg of you: Go away, quit harassing me and others, or change your
unwanted attitude. It really ruins a jocund mood.

Sincerely,

(insert name here)