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Journal of Contemporary Psychotherapy

https://doi.org/10.1007/s10879-018-9387-x

ORIGINAL PAPER

Considerations in Francisco Varela for Psychotherapy of Sense


Claudio Zamorano1 · Pilar Cuevas2 · Liliana Mera2

© Springer Science+Business Media, LLC, part of Springer Nature 2018

Abstract
Under the influence of dialogic and narrative models, relational systemic psychotherapy has shifted its attention towards
understanding the relational self, its agency and off-centered nature. In order to substantiate its new clinical positions, it has
reached for other disciplines such as philosophy and literature. Francisco Varela’s approach regarding the ontological aporia
between the individual and the relationship may provide conceptual foundations to propose a clinical understanding where
identity and sense play a key role. By considering intentionality as the engine of everything that’s living, Varela generates a
difference between the extensive environment in which individuals unfold, and the singular investiture of significance through
which people seek relationships to recognize their identity. A model for a relational psychotherapy of sense is proposed,
based in Francisco Varela’s conceptual influences.

Keywords Intentionality · Sense · Relation · Identity · Siege

Introduction Bertrando and Toffanetti (2004), with these new influences


systemic practice experienced a narrative twist.
Since the epistemological turn of the 1980s, systemic psy- However, this change of perspective has been challeng-
chotherapy shifted from the description of the observed ing, since the individual suddenly becomes a crucial point—
systems to the centrality of the observer (Boscolo and Ber- especially in terms of the relationship he establishes with his
trando 1998), a movement that installed the concept of lan- personal story and his lived experience. Systemic therapists
guage in the center of clinical practice. In this context, it’s have taken on the challenge of searching and reviewing other
interesting to consider the conceptual developments of the authors to provide concepts that will support the creation of
Chilean biologists Humberto Maturana and Francisco Var- a comprehensive framework for the dilemma of the rela-
ela, expressed on what they called Biology of Cognition tional self, and in this journey they have turned towards phi-
(Maturana and Varela 1984), since they provided a frame of losophy: they started quoting Jacques Derridá (Carey et al.
reference for many theorists and therapists within the field 2009), Gilles Deleuze (Winslade 2009), Mikhail Bakhtin
of systemic psychotherapy (Méndez et al. 1988; Cecchin (Rober 2005; Seikkula et  al. 2012) and Alain Badiou
1987; Goolishian and Winderman 1989; Miran-Khan 2001). (Pakman 2014) among others.
Impulsed by the focus on the observer and the leading The work of Francisco Varela finds common ground with
role of language as a generator of realities, systemic psycho- contemporary systemic psychotherapy through the concepts
therapy found other influences to enrich its displacement: of autonomy, identity, emergent self, intentionality and
Kenneth Gergen’s social constructionism (Anderson and enactment. Although his work with Maturana is well known
Goolishian 1996) and post-structuralist concepts developed in the systemic field, his immense work without his mentor
by Michel Foucault (White and Epston 1993). According to has not been sufficiently explored in the psychotherapeutic
community.
In this context, this article aims to contribute to approach
the ideas of Francisco Varela from a systemic relational
Claudio Zamorano
claudio.zamorano@uchile.cl
stance, as a way of supporting the movements and transfor-
mations in this clinical field.
1
Department of Psychology, Universidad de Chile, Santiago,
Chile
2
Universidad de Chile, Santiago, Chile

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Journal of Contemporary Psychotherapy

Autonomy, Identity and Sense Relational Psychotherapy of the Sense

For Varela, the principle of autonomy which is a distinctive Varela’s principle of autonomy of life generates a self-
feature of autopoiesis is key to understand the interpretative interested movement that directs us to find what concerns
capacity of living beings and their co-dependent connection us, but due to the uninterrupted flow of experience and
with their environment. The concept of autopoiesis allows the ever-changing nature of the environment in which we
us to understand the continuous generation of the world not unfold, such correspondence is always temporary. Our
through heteronomous processes, but through an autono- identity can’t be understood as the consolidation of a set-
mous dynamic that is at the same time linked to the environ- tled and satisfied self, but rather as an emergent self not
ment in which this whole existential process takes place. substantial nor definitive, requiring the coupling with the
However, the development of this autonomous dynamic environment to obtain a temporary self-recognition.
does not mean that a way of life has independence from the Due to the recursive and reflective quality of language,
world where it occurs. According to Varela (2000) auton- we generate an imaginary dimension (Varela 2000) with
omy must be considered in two dimensions: one, linked to multiple intertwines, whereby the structure of the sense
the mechanism that allows the maintenance of the entity brought into play in any given situation might be crossed
in question, and another one regarding the way it relates by different registers. In other words, our selective concern
to the world. expresses itself in diverse areas of our lives and takes its
This emerging entity actively couples with the environ- place in different stories.
ment into which it literally throws itself. Since the coher- The approach developed by Varela is an invitation to con-
ence between them is continuously being confirmed, this sider our imaginary dimension as an ongoing process, as a
interaction always occurs in a way that is functional to dynamic that is never fully consolidated; leaving its traces as
whatever the autonomous process requires to go on. a testimony of a story during which some paths have become
Identity, therefore, should not be understood as a state viable, and thus allowing the survival of the learnings that
that is achieved once and for all, but rather as a continu- constitute our existential process. Therefore, considering the
ous existential process of keep-on-being; it is more about off-centered nature of our emergent self implies attending
global coherences providing occasion for an encounter to the areas in which its emergent process develops itself.
with the environment and at the same time needing that These dimensions are located in two registers:
interaction to ensure its uniqueness.
In this regard, as living beings are self-affirming, they 1. The establishment of the historical drift that made us
carry with them the possibility of ceasing to be at any possible: our lived history
given time. This idea is relevant because it requires iden- 2. The current conditions of its manifestation: the situ-
tity to be considered under the permanent threat of disinte- ationality in which sense-making seeks its recognition.
gration (i.e. death). Therefore every cognitive, behavioral
or meaning expression that we ascribe to a living being Graphically represented, the following clinical model
has an existential value. For Varela (2000) it is crucial to is proposed: (see Fig. 1).
assume that living beings define what is of interest to them
and what concerns them in order to continue existing as an
effect of their autonomous process. Regarding the Lived History
As a consequence, the encounter of living beings
with the relational space is never neutral, for we always The first obstacle that arises when trying to bring life history
add significance; this added significance is what Varela out is the fact that it cannot be objectively “represented”, for
(2000) calls surplus of meaning or sense. In this regard, the act of remembering is not unprejudiced nor unemotional.
Thompson (2004) proposes that life is not just a cognitive In this regard, Varela (2000) points out that every time we
process, but also an emotional process of sense-making, try to trace the origins of an idea we stumble across multiple
giving significance and value to the existence. As a result, details and reciprocal correlations that make it impossible
human beings are always oriented by purpose, not consid- to claim with certainty: “That is exactly when this idea was
ered as an expression of will or any rational aspect, but as born, and this is how it was developed” (p. 383).
how we orient our movements in order to meet what we The review of our lived history should not resemble
need to maintain our identity. We are intentional beings, an anamnesis, where a temporal order is laid out; on the
always seeking a sense that has been threatened, and which contrary, a remembering way of thinking is required in
presence is needed to recognize ourselves in the middle of order to understand how a way of interpreting and being
an unstable environment. affected by relevant issues has been formed and deployed.

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Journal of Contemporary Psychotherapy

lives, and we learn that they should not be touched. Accord-


ing to Varela (2000), the sacred nature of integrity is a con-
sequence of the circular, self-reflective process in which
every systemic entity bases itself.
We don’t touch our world of sense because we cannot
see beyond it. Moreover, if we consider that the world we
experience through our embodiment has been formed in a
plot of meaningful relationships, then “breaking our blind-
ness” means to somehow come out of the relational matrix,
generating a personal change and interpellating others.
In this regard, psychotherapy should consider an ethic of
the sacred, because our viable history is not only worthy of
being told but also provides and cares for many other peo-
ple and moments that are part of our significance domains.
Fig. 1 Clinical model psychotherapy of the sense What we have called the sacred in people’s lives expresses
itself in embodied actions within their evolutionary context
in the social co-drift that have made them possible. From
According to Varela et al. (1993), such way of think- Varela’s point of view, skills and learnings should be placed
ing consists in paying attention to the way memories have in our lived histories not only as mere descriptions, but also
been constructed, attending to both the embodied context in as lived bodily inscriptions. Embodiment is a core aspect of
which remembering has become relevant and the interpreta- experience, since it expresses the sensual and sensitive way
tive tracing of the situational conditions that have enabled a of being in the world; during their autobiographical journey,
singular relation with history. These situational conditions it is important then to invite people to consider their body
“show us that it has been possible for us to be who we are as the radical, material expression of such adventure. Sup-
and to behave the way we have behaved. It shows us that our porting this concept, Varela and Depraz (2000) point out
experience has been viable” (Varela 2000, p. 384). that subjective fluctuation involves full bodily transforma-
Therefore, to understand the viable way to enact a world tions; therefore the affective force can manifest itself in a
we must consider and remember the lived history by attend- lived body. Hence, the body should not be considered as a
ing to two registers: what has been learned (see a. in Fig. 1)/ framework through which someone recounts his life, but as
what was left unlearned (see b. in Fig. 1). the matrix itself, a home that contains and shapes the feeling.
Significant relationships and stories must be traced in On the other hand, the excluded -those relationships or
order to unveil the learning that has been developed. In this stories that didn’t have the privilege of being lived- must
regard, according to Weber (2001) the research of significant be addressed; through these marginalized relationships it
relationships allows to bring forward the mutual creation of is possible to hypothesize about all the learning that had no
the world and the subject, providing the key to understand- opportunity to express itself. In this regard, the exploration
ing why individuals fit so remarkably well in their context. A of the lived history can only be brought out to our memory
journey through personal history allows us to understand the under the form of a story: a script that prioritizes, censor-
qualities of situated intelligences; i.e. the adaptive ways peo- ship and underlines, for the significant stories that allow the
ple have developed to enter shared worlds of significance. survival of our domains of sense have excluded many other
In this respect, Varela suggests that reality is not made at possible stories, which have enabled the continuity of our
people’s whim: it is learned in contexts that always involve personal self by remaining marginalized.
others. The essential role of otherness in the configuration The knowledge that didn’t have the chance to develop
of an off-centered identity demands that we explore who itself because of the “triumph” of the personal self consti-
has been part of the learning process, who has threatened tutes underprivileged or non-existent relational, narrative
or taken care of that story, in whom have we learned to see and affective areas which Derridá (1989) defined as belong-
ourselves so as to desire what we desire. In the course of ing to the domain of the unsaid. Likewise, when describing
such explorations, significant persons and moments which the off-centered nature of the self, Varela et al. (1993) note
constitute a vital part of our possible world are revealed and that as a result of our viable history we develop a “deeply
become present in images or voices within the imaginary rooted emotional response that conditions all of our behav-
dimension. iors and models all the situations we experience” (p. 105);
Therefore, following Bateson and Bateson (1994), the however, our experiential dimension is formed by a con-
relationships and stories that have allowed us to secure a tinuous negotiation and tension between many possible
sense of meaning belong into a sacred dimension of our sensations, that in the end will line up around a privileged

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experience. The result of this process is an edition condi- that builds up the ordering of our personal self. Neverthe-
tioned by a history, a coexistence of multiple parallel expe- less, it is important to note that in the act of taking a picture
riences which will remain available even if they never have we are not only recording, but also trapping what’s captured
the chance to express themselves. in the shot.
Although excluded, marginalized stories are present— Varela (2000) points out that since this movement is
by contrast—in their absence and they outline of a highly guided by affection, the mind is fundamentally something
relevant therapeutic framework, since even though our per- that arises from the affective tonality, which is embedded in
sonal self has become an expert in certain learnings, and the body. Movement, then, is led by affection and oriented
thus in privileged ways of sense-making, simultaneously by the need for recognition of the dimensions of sense that
it has become “clumsy” in other dimensions of situated shape our personal self. Hence, situationality of everyday
intelligence. These dimensions of “clumsiness” invite us experience represents a permanent condition for the continu-
to imagine and listen to multiple relational, narrative and ity of sense under the threat of its loss.
emotional stories against which our personal self has been In this regard, sense is sought because it can’t be kept;
established, to look for unexplored worlds or blocked routes. the roots of daily concealment or loss of sense can be under-
Paying attention to these territories of the unsaid allows the stood by the same kinetic directionality of the experience.
therapist to understand relationships and stories which peo- The movement of our affected-body pushes us into the con-
ple have chosen to quit or even to avoid entirely, not only text looking for situations and relationships that allow the
because they lack some pragmatic “know-how”, but also temporary satisfaction of our affection. Therapeutic listen-
because existentially it was important to favor other stories ing must be sensitive to the intentionality of sense; that is,
in the co-drift of their social coupling. we must hypothesize over which domain of significance is
sense being processed within the situationality of everyday
Regarding Situationality experience.
In this respect, Varela et al. (1993) point out that embod-
In this matter, people’s daily life must be attended in terms ied actions will always orient themselves towards an absent
of the situationality of the experiences constituting deci- content, under the guide of the intentionality of sense.
sive moments in the process of guaranteeing identity. Such Thus, the continuous flow of experience mobilized by the
situationality allows the uncovering of the scale of values “constant genesis of meaning” (Varela 2000, p. 104) propels
(Weber and Varela 2002) that is constantly being processed the individual towards the next encounter, guided by the
in our contextual/existential dynamic so we can maintain a never fully satisfied intentionality. Although attending to the
continuous identity and recognize ourselves. intentionality of sense (see c. in Fig. 1). means unclosing the
According to Varela (1992), humans are not passive “purposes” that guide us, this directionality must always be
beings, just waiting to be stimulated by the environment and put in relation to the permanent possibility of its loss. Thus,
then reacting according to our structure; we are rather active it is crucial to think about the threatening possibility of the
agents in the world, thrown to the next given moment thanks non-sense in the situational process in which the off-centered
to the autonomy principle that governs us. He speaks of a self is updated affectively and linguistically, to understand
Biology of Intentionality, an expression of the self-reflective the persistence of the selective orientation of people in the
and autonomous process of all living beings. world.
Therefore, since we are always thrown, we can say that In this aspect, our imaginary dimension also re-creates
it is therapeutically important to attend to the intentional- and imagines the ghost of the fall of the sense, causing us to
ity of the movement, which alludes to what’s important for be mobilized within the borders that guarantee our being-
the integrity of people’s lives. As previously stated, identity in-the-world, trying to keep away anything that threatens us.
must be considered as an offered possibility, a flow rather However, given the relentless nature of the flow of experi-
than a consolidated state; paying attention to the situational- ence and the fluctuating conditions of the environment in
ity of the experience allows to bring forward aspects of con- which we find ourselves, we see our significance threatened
cern that constitute dimensions of sense for an individual. on a daily basis. At this point—as Derridá (1989) pointed
This is an ever ongoing process; the concern for our continu- out—people struggle to keep going under the permanent
ity creates a “movement that consistently goes beyond the siege of the difference, the interruption of the significance
given state of affairs” (Jonas 1968, p. 243). that defines them. Sense intentionality implies a directional-
Metaphorically, we could state that our emergent self is a ity of movement through the siege of non-sense (see d. in
capture of an unceasing flow of experience: as with a photo- Fig. 1). In clinical terms, paying attention to how people
graph, we capture the moment and narrate it for registration. solve their everyday impasses is a primary source for under-
However, the ever ongoing nature of the flow of experience standing the singularity that is tested in their lived present.
propels us to the next moment, the next shot, the sequence Thus, therapeutic practice does not need to go and search

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for great experiences or epic milestones. Instead, it must all of the sudden he finds himself thinking deep questions
rescue the small and concrete experiences in people’s lives he can’t share with his friends, whom he has begun to find
and thereby pay sensitive attention to the existential flow of shallow and boring.
sense processing.
It is important to emphasize that focusing on the situ-
ationality of lived experience means to distinguish the Therapist’s Reflection
conditions of otherness that are required for the enactment
of sense-making. In this regard, it is crucial to pay close With this starting point, it can be hypothesized that the
attention to the dimensions of context bonding that pro- experience of a “mental mess” is the expression of a
vide the conditions for a self-interested integrity dynamic. moment of discontinuity of sense: why is this perceived
Therefore, we must attend to the bonds and relationships lack of organization so intolerable for him? What kind
that help people maintain that process, preventing them of siege can it give rise to? On the other hand, the pact
from generating differences in the way they appreciate with the mother arises as a situational scenario for the
things and thus generating the conditions for a “conveni- decision to quit drinking. What role does otherness play
ent” self-reflectiveness. Turning the argument around, many in his decisions and commitments? Likewise, since the
“others” need our unchanging presence to guarantee their “mental mess” appears in connection to deep questions,
own way of significance, with which the issue of integrity or we can wonder by contrast about the relationship he has
transformation acquires an ethical status. This co-dependent established with shallowness. In his path, marijuana con-
dynamic, understandable due to the characteristics of social stitutes the materiality through which siege is expressed.
coupling, generates a wonderful synchronicity in which our Finally, there is a change in the way he values his friends,
ways of finding the world meet with people who are willing who until then had been part of his viable world. What’s
to receive us. the story contained in this fracture of sense?
As previously stated, considering the situationality of When I ask him about the distance he has begun to feel
experience implies paying attention to the ways in which between himself and his friends, Pedro tells the following
people operate in the immediacy of a given situation. This story:
modus operandi is expressed in what Varela (1996) called
the embodiment of the microworlds through which people Pedro (P) Two years ago I ended a one-year relation-
enact their know-how. Microworlds provide historically ship with Josefina. She was amazing, that
established dispositions towards action that shape the ways relationship made me question everything.
in which people present themselves and resolve the imme- Therapist (T) What in your family history can help us
diacy of the concrete experience. understand why this relationship made you
Microworlds can be understood as the moments when see the world in a different way?
sense is put in check and it expresses itself as a response, P I come from a family with 6 children, very
coming out ahead of those moments with the mastery conservative. All the men in the family are
granted by its historic know-how, demonstrating its adaptive engineers, and it was obvious that I had to
coping strategies. In every concrete and lived microworld, do the same.
many stories are intertwined; many persons and voices par- T And what difference did Josefina introduce
ticipate in the processing of the contingency. in your life?
P With her my world was turned upside down.
She lived alone, was dedicated to craftsman-
A Clinical Vignette ship, her parents were divorced. With her I
knew a whole new world, she questioned me
Pedro, consulting with (Author A), 24 years old, clear com- about things, and with her I started smoking
plexion, 5.9 feet, blonde hair, blue eyes. He is wearing a pot.
sport outfit and sneakers. He smiles as he greets me with a T What did your family and friends say about
strong handshake. that change?
Pedro is consulting because he feels a “mental mess” P I stopped seeing my friends, and my family
that doesn’t let him set priorities in his life. He says he’s told me I was in the wrong, until one day
aware he’s been smoking too much marijuana and that he I saw my mom crying about my change. I
must lower his consumption. He has already managed to realized that Josefina had brought me trou-
control his drinking issues after making a “pact” with his ble. Things went wrong and finally I broke
mother: she would quit smoking cigarettes and in turn he up with her (after that, he increased his
would quit drinking. About the “mental mess”, he says that marijuana consumption).

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Journal of Contemporary Psychotherapy

Therapist’s Reflection we will keep seeing each other”, whereupon he answered:


“Well, yes, obviously...”
Pedro says studying engineering was “the obvious thing to Josefina’s question challenges him to answer from his
do”, and this idea doesn’t allow him to think about his own own interest. Such situationality demands him to go through
interests: is this part of a know-how, enacting in situations the siege, whereupon he reiterates previous esthetics by
where he has to make decisions? It will be necessary to go responding to her interest. It is interesting to consider how
into the story that didn’t allow him to relate to his own moti- this way of dealing with the siege expresses his know-how,
vations, what was not learned in his lived history. In this as a manifestation of his situated intelligence.
scenario, the appearance of Josefina in his life generates the
possibility of difference: he falls in love, and his senses open P I was thinking about the issue of effort, and I thought
up to the experience of contrast. Friendship and family rela- about trying to organize myself and do the things I want
tions that have guaranteed his identity continuity are chal- to do. I thought about it a lot, but couldn’t get myself
lenged by this new relationship. What’s known to him and together; so I went to my sister and said: “fix a schedule
the comfort it provides begin to be questioned; sacred areas for me!”- Laughs -
of his life are put under threat. The marijuana consumption T Your sister?
might be understood as a method to keep an embodiment P Yes, I had already asked her help before to develop my
of the emotions and questions that arose in his relationship sensitivity: she told me to do some volunteer work, to
with Josefina. pay attention to important dates and to talk about emo-
The mother appears again as a normative otherness, since tions with other people.
she is involved in both his decision to quit drinking and the
breakup with Josefina. The presence of this otherness is part
of his commitments aesthetics, and is possibly replicated Therapist’s Reflection
with different figures in his daily life as well as in his imagi-
nary dimension. In this situationality he resolves the anguish by seeking his
sister’s guide. The sister plays a role that allows him identi-
T I´ve been wondering about your decision-making tary continuity, for his viable life has been organized around
history. this esthetic. The intentionality of sense drives him to look
P Well, I chose to be an engineer because it was easy for for another person’s guide.
me, not because I liked it.
T And what about women? T I’d like to know how did you learn to follow the tastes,
P They just come to me; I kind of just take what falls from desires and knowledge of others...
the sky. P I was a quiet child.
T (I draw the Genogram: Dad, 64 years old, and Mom,
Therapist’s Reflection 60 years old. Sisters are 38 and 35 years old. Brothers:
33 and 31 years old. He is 24 years old, and Susana, his
Pedro had his first girlfriend at the age of 19; she was a little sister, 22).
friend of his younger sister and spent a lot of time in his P I was born several years after my brother; we have a
house, which allowed him to meet her and asked her out. big age gap. But “Sussy” was born right after me (with
Then he dated a classmate with whom he had to do a project irony).
in college. These two first relationships do not require any T How important has Sussy been?
movement on his part: they come to him and he accepts P She is my dad´s favorite; in fact, to get something out
them. The movement comes from the women’s interest in of him I got used to convincing my sister to ask him the
him, to which he responds. This constitutes another regis- same thing. In contrast, I was very close to my mother.
ter of his surplus of meaning: to recognize his desire as a Susana did whatever she wanted, but I was very quiet
response to her desire. and gave no trouble. I never decided anything, I learned
Pedro’s third relationship was with Josefina, whom he by imitation and observation.
meets on a cruise during a trip with his family. She was T Learning to do what others can do, what others want to
working there as a waitress, and one evening when he was do.
having a drink watching the sea, she approached him; they P Since I was little I learned to make things as easy as
talked and agreed to meet that night. They had a romance on possible and to avoid problems, even with myself... I
the trip and when they arrived at destination she asked him: have fooled myself with many things. It’s the same with
“What are we? Where do we stand?” Pedro threw the ques- my relationships: when there’s a problem, I bypass it
tion back at her: “what do you think?” and she said: “I think and just keep going.

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Journal of Contemporary Psychotherapy

Therapist’s Reflection field of contemporary systemic therapy: the integration of


the personal self with one’s relationships, and rescuing the
From a very early age, his sister Susana seems to have played unsaid in our client’s histories.
the role of a mediator, advocating for his needs but at the Considering the broad development of Francisco Varela’s
same time hiding them and taking away from him the pos- investigative program (autopoiesis, enactment, immunology,
sibility of manifesting his desires. On the other hand, the fear neurophenomenology, mindfulness), the present clinical pro-
of his father’s rejection and his closeness to his mother are posal focuses on the theoretical proposition he called “Biol-
two important memories, linked to the situated responses he ogy of Intentionality”. In order to further enrich our proposi-
uses to avoid conflict. Pedro begins to think critically about tion, we have also considered the concept of the unsaid as
the consequences of the way he faces relationships; he takes developed by Derridá (1989) and the sacred, as presented
the risk and goes beyond the obvious, allowing himself to by Bateson and Bateson (1994).
think of the unsaid. The importance of taking lived history into account
has been hereby emphasized, regarding both the adap-
T Is it common for you to follow what others want without tive responses that generate a viable world and the skills
even asking yourself what do you want? that have not been able to express themselves. We have
P It’s the story of my life; I’m your typical fool who’s also pointed out the need to pay attention to the concrete
always driving his friends everywhere… If someone situationality in which sense intentionality is expressed,
invites me over I can’t say no, sometimes I don’t feel along with the answers that cause the siege of the unsaid
like it but I end up going anyway. But I like being like to withdraw.
that, I like being caring. With this study we expect to have contributed to rescue
part of Varela’s work for the use of psychotherapy, the same
way his ideas have been embraced by many other disciplines.
Therapist’s Reflection
Compliance with Ethical Standards
In Pedro’s words it is apparent that, even if he has begun to
think about and question his history, he also values some Conflict of interest The authors declare that they have no conflict of
interest.
aspects of the personal self he has forged through these rela-
tionships. It is important that we respect this, since it shows
that being available for others is a part of his know-how, and
that he finds some worth in this manner of seeking sense.
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