EXPERIENCE
Case Stud
Humor or
Harassment?
A manager wonders whether to complain about her
boss’s insensitive comments. by Dianne Bevelander,
Jacqueline Nolan, and Michael Page
M
“
y, my, how tiny you are!
You must be the smallest
woman on earth.
Hello, Dot!”
These were the first words Jack
Matthews spoke to Sema Isaura-Mans.
Sema, an accounts manager at
the Dutch-British financial services
consultancy Dirksen-Hall, had
recently transferred from the Ankara
office to headquarters, in Amsterdam.
Jack, the executive vice president for
special projects, was her new boss.
He, too, had just relocated—from
Manchester, England, where he’d
been a VP of sales. They were meet-
ing for the first time at the kickoff for
a big project to which they’d both
been assigned.
Sema was completely taken aback
by Jack’s remark. Though she was
barely five feet tall and weighed just
under 45 kilos, she had never given
her petite build a second thought
at the office. For a few seconds, as
Jack and the others around the table
chuckled, she sat speechless. But
2 Harvard Business Review June 2015
.
then she looked the six-foot-five,
potbellied Englishman in the eye
and, without really thinking, replied,
“Hello, Big Dot,” which made every-
one laugh even louder.
“Well, she’s got a sense of humor—
nice one!” Jack said, clapping his
large hands. “I’m dead chuffed you’re
on our team, Sema. I’ve heard only
good things about you.”
He moved to the head of the
table and asked all the others in the
room to introduce them-
selves. Then he outlined
the task that lay ahead.
Their goal was to create
a common platform for all
the various back-office and
COPYRIGHT © 2015 HARVARD BUSINESS SCHOOL PUBLISHING CORPORATION. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
client-facing computer and network
systems used by the company’s
international offices. This would both
improve customer service globally
and greatly enhance Dirksen-Hall’s
ability to manage enterprise risk.
Code-named “Samen,” the Dutch
word for “together,” the project
would affect some 600 employees
in 40 offices across the 28 countries
where Dirksen-Hall had a presence. It
was a gigantic undertaking. However,
Jack said, looking pointedly around
the room, every person there had
been handpicked by management in
the knowledge that he or she could
get the job done. By the time he’d fin-
ished speaking, everyone could see
why Jack himself had been appointed
the project leader.
Sema felt excited. She had almost
forgotten about the beginning of
the meeting, but then Jack spoke up
as she was walking out: “Sema, let’s
get a meeting on the calendar for
tomorrow, OK? Thanks, Dot.”
Bernhard’s Wife
Sema and her husband,
Bernhard Mans, had been invited
to a Dirksen-Hall welcome event that
night. The company was growing
rapidly; it hosted monthly parties
for all newcomers and transfers.
Bernhard worked for the company
too, as an IT specialist. He and Sema
had met when he’d gone to Ankara to
install new systems, and the two had
dated long-distance for a while after
he returned to Amsterdam. They
had been married only a few months
when Sema was tapped for Project
Samen, and both of them were
thrilled: Finally they could share a
house and a city.
“Luck is on your side,”
CHARLOTTE FARMER
Sema’s mother had said
when she heard the news.
“But remember who you
are, Sema. You might work

for a European company and be mar-
ried to a European Christian and be
moving to Europe, but you are still a
Turkish Muslim. Don’t forget where
you come from.”
Sema assured her mother that
she wouldn’t.
She and Bernhard had been chat-
ting with a few of his colleagues at
the party when Dirksen-Hall’s CFO,
Harold van der Linde, approached.
One of the men started making
introductions. “And this is Bernhard’s
wife, Sema,” he said. She felt a rush
of indignation as she held out her
hand to Harold. Bernhard quickly
piped up: “Yes, we’re here for Sema,
actually. She’s the accounts manager
for Project Samen—” but someone
tapped the CFO on the shoulder, and
Harold made a polite exit before he
could hear anything more about her.
“Bernhard’s wife, indeed!” Sema
fumed as they left the building.
“Does that guy think all Turkish
women wear a veil and clean toilets?”
“Come on, love, give him a break!
I’ve worked with that guy for five
years. It’s only natural that he’d refer
to you as my wife, and—”
“So my master’s of science
in finance means nothing, my
MBA from Sabancı means noth-
ing, and my six years’ experi-
ence as a direct report of the
Turkish CFO at Dirksen-Hall
means little more. I see. My name
is Dot, and I am Bernhard’s wife.”
Turkish Delight
Six months later, Sema still remem-
bered the quarrel vividly. Of course,
Bernhard’s colleague hadn’t been
the real problem that night. She’d
soon learned that he was a lovely
Dutchman with the utmost respect
for women; his wife was a surgeon;
and they had two whip-smart teen-
age girls. The real problem was Jack.
Although Project Samen was on track
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Case Stud Teaching
otes
Dianne Bevelander teaches the case on which this one is based
in her Women in Leadership class.
WHAT INTERESTED YOU MOST
ABOUT THIS CASE?
The story is multilayered and complex—you can see
something different in it each time you read it. That
means it offers opportunities for very rich discussion
around cultural diversity, organizational culture,
and gender.
WHAT ISSUES DO YOUR STUDENTS
PICK UP ON MOST OFTEN?
They seem to seize particularly on office humor,
resilience, and sexism. Generally,I find that the case
unleashes a lot of emotion in the classroom as students
start to share their own stories. But as the discussion
evolves, they come to recognize that one can legitimately
interpret experiences like Sema’s in a variety of ways
and that finding a solution to problems of this kind is
less simple than one might think.
WHAT LESSON WOULD YOU LIKE YOUR
STUDENTS TO TAKE AWAY FROM THE CASE?
I hope that they come away with a better appreciation
of the differences and similarities between benevolent
sexism and hostile sexism and that they understand
that the former is by no means benign.
to be a huge success, and Sema was
energized by the work, she’d grown
increasingly uncomfortable with the
informal team dynamics he encour-
aged. He still called her Dot all the
time. It was a joke that wouldn’t die.
That night there was to be a team-
building dinner at Toscanini, in the
Jordaan district, and Sema knew it
would be a lively affair. True to form,
Jack rose to speak after the second
course, tapping his glass with a spoon.
“Thanks, everyone, for joining me for
this great dinner,” he said. “You’ve all
earned it. But we still have a way to go.
So, to help us along the way...it’s time
for the Dirksen-Hall Team Globes.”
The awards were meant to in-
crease cohesion and commitment on
the team and to recognize everyone’s
individual efforts. They consisted
of certificates on which individual
members had written short messages
for their colleagues. Jack handed out
the awards, reading
selected lines from
each one before asking
the awardee to come forward.
Turning to Sema, Jack read,
“Given your tremendous addiction—
number-crunching add-ic-tion—
it is just as well that you live in
Amsterdam!” “You are certainly a
quick study—not only do you ap-
preciate Dutch humor, but you give
as good as you get!” “Goes the extra
mile and always finds the time to
help others.” And finally, a joke that
could only have come from him:
“Help! I’m short of money because my
accounts manager’s too small! But
what a Turkish delight!”
Her teammates applauded loudly
as Sema stepped up to receive her
certificate. She took it, smiled briefly,
and returned to her place at the table,
where she stuffed it into her bag.
“Feel like joining some of us in
the pub?” Jack asked after dinner.
“I know it’s been a long haul, but hang
in there, Dot.”
“No thanks, I think I’ll pass,” she
replied, forcing another smile. She
turned away, cheeks hot with anger,
tears welling in her eyes.
The Breaking Point?
“Can’t sleep?” Bernhard asked her
in bed later.
“No, I can’t.”
“What’s up?”
“It’s Jack again,” Sema said.
“Something he wrote on a stupid
award at dinner this evening. ‘Help!
I’m short of money because my ac-
counts manager is too small.’” She
tried to imitate Jack’s accent.
Bernhard laughed.
“It’s not funny!” Sema said, pull-
ing away from him. “He’s just an
uncouth salesman who likes his beer
too much!”
“Sema, we’ve gone over this before.
He’s respected in the company. He
June 2015 Harvard Business Review 3
EXPERIENCE
has a brilliant track record. And you
know these British types—espe-
cially the ones from the north. It’s
a particular kind of humor.”
“Humor? To ridicule someone’s
physical appearance? It’s now
become acceptable for the en-
tire team to make fun of my
size. Last week he called me
Dot in a meeting with Harold
van der Linde! And in front
of a client!”
“Why don’t you just
tell him to stop?”
“Everyone laughs at his jokes.
And they respect him too. The whole
team prides itself on being close and
informal and having a good time even
when we’re under intense pressure.
I don’t want to be the killjoy.”
“OK, then quit. Ask HR for another
assignment. Or leave the company.
There are plenty of jobs out there. No
one is forcing you to stay.”
“How would I explain that? And
why should I quit? That would be like
exonerating Jack for his offensive
behavior.”
“I know I’m supposed to just let
you vent and not offer solutions,
Sema. But this has been bothering
you for six months, for the entire
time you’ve been in Amsterdam, for
most of our married life! If you’re this
unhappy, you need to do something
about it.”
Sema got up, went into the
kitchen, and made herself a cup
of sweet tea. Bernhard followed,
but she gave him a kiss and told
him to go back to bed. She wanted
time to think.
Should Sema lodge a
complaint against Jack?
4 Harvard Business Review June 2015
After a few minutes, she powered
up her laptop, logged on to Dirksen-
Hall’s intranet, and read the first
paragraph of the HR director’s intro-
ductory comments, which stressed
the company’s commitment to
creating a work environment free
from discrimination and harass-
ment—one in which
diversity was valued,
and all employees were
accorded dignity, courtesy,
and respect. She clicked on
a few links and found documents
outlining the company’s ethics poli-
cies and grievance procedures. They
offered contact information for both
the HR director, Gerda van Leeuw,
whom Sema had met during her re-
location process, and the company’s
ombudsman and head of corporate
social responsibility, Tim Connolly.
She opened up another window,
logged on to her e-mail account, and
started writing to both of them. But
then she stopped cold.
Project Samen was more than half
finished. I’ve lasted this long, Sema
thought. How could she complain—
or quit—now?
Dianne Bevelander is a professor
at Erasmus University’s Rotterdam
School of Management and the executive
director of the Erasmus Centre for
Women and Organisations. Jacqueline
Nolan is a freelance case writer at the
Rotterdam School’s Case Development
Centre. Michael Page is a professor at
Bentley University and its provost and
vice president for academic affairs.
Comments from the
HBR.orgcommunity
Tell us what you’d Dutch Humor
do in this situation. Sema reacts quite emotionally and
Go to HBR.org. fiercely to simply being referred to
as someone’s wife. I wonder if she is
stressed by the cultural differences
she’s experiencing. I know I was,
under similar circumstances. The
Dutch talk publicly about things that
we in Brazil don’t, and they’re not
embarrassed to refer to their own or
someone else’s “inadequacies.”
This is very evident in their humor,
which in many situations made me
feel embarrassed, inadequate,
frustrated, and angry.
Sandro da Silva, executive coach,
Rotterdam
Evenhanded Teasing?
Jack’s attitude and comments
remind me of Dr. Gregory House,
of the TV series House. The doc-
tor made sexist and racist remarks
about all the members of his team,
yet they all loved him because
he had a larger mission and a
reputation for saving lives. The key
question is, Was Sema the object of
Jack’s humor on every group occa-
sion, or did he laugh at other team
members as well? If the first is true,
it’s a case of harassment; otherwise,
HBR’s fictionalized
it’s just plain humor designed to
promote camaraderie.
case studies
present problems Muttom S. Prabhakar, independent
faced by leaders
technology consultant
in real companies
and offer solutions Three-Strikes Rule
from experts. This
Sema should give Jack clear ex-
one is based on
the Rotterdam amples of when he stepped over
School of the line. I believe in the three-strikes
Management case
rule: Give the perpetrator three
study “Crossing
the Dotted opportunities to change, and if
Line: Cultural
Divides,” by
things don’t improve, you have every
right to take a grievance to HR.
Dianne Bevelander,
Jacqueline Nolan, Rachana Nair, project manager,
Michael Page, and Alcatel-Lucent
Tao Yue, which is
available at www.
HBR Reprint R1506K
rsm.nl/cdc.
Reprint Case only R1506X
Reprint Commentary only R1506Z