The enthralling possibilities of Christian single life

The church is increasingly recognizing the vocational dimension of single life, but this does not
mean that single Catholics today have it easy. A friend who went through a difficult divorce told
me that it ruined his life, and for many people, intimate break-ups are even more difficult than
the struggle to find a spouse in the first place. Single Catholics, whether widowed, divorced, or
unmarried, can find it difficult to find support in the church.

With the exception of the young-adult ministry, which includes married people, the church
devotes little attention and resources to single people. In official documents, homilies, and
magisterial teachings, the single vocation is rarely mentioned. Despite the fact that the number of
singles is increasing, there are no encyclicals, pastoral letters, or synods focusing on the single
vocation.

Attention to this vocation as seen in the Bible, tradition, and the living church (the magisterium
and the sense of the faithful) can provide therapeutic and redemptive responses to the ways our
secular culture glorifies, exploits, corrupts, or caricatures single life at times. And the church has
made some strides—over the last half-century, there has been a growing awareness and
acceptance of the vocational dimensions of single life.

A Difficult Situation

A single life poses unique challenges in a pastoral setting. Going to Mass by yourself can be an
isolating experience. Participating in church activities alone can be awkward at times. Priests are
not typically trained to deal with issues that single people face. (Deacons are often better
equipped because many have recently been in the dating world, but they are frequently
overburdened with other responsibilities.) Priests are well-versed in moral dos and don'ts, but
less so in the subtle temptations and practical issues that singles face. Too often, simplistic
moralistic responses are imposed on complex situations that require nuanced responses. Singles
in their forties and fifties frequently fall through the cracks. There are established support
networks for the elderly and the young, but what about those caught in the middle, who have
even greater social needs and challenges? The church has work to do in terms of supporting
single life, just as it does in terms of supporting families and consecrated life. As a church, we
should emphasize that those called to single life, whether temporarily or permanently, can
approach their mission with zeal, seeing it as no less meaningful and vibrant than other
vocations.

Despite these obstacles, single life in the church offers numerous opportunities. There are
numerous opportunities to serve, worship, learn, and socialize. Single people, by definition, have
freedoms and options that married people and religious people do not have. However, boundaries
are necessary because friends and family frequently mistakenly believe that single people have
more flexibility, time, or resources. They may also overlook the lack of support and
collaboration that many singles face. Finally, single life is situational and personal. Each person's
background and experience are distinct. For some, being single is a transitional stage, one that
must be lived deliberately and perhaps reluctantly before pursuing a call to marriage or religious
life. Others regard it as a chosen state.