The Respect Card Tips for tactful communication.

Need to be Respected Need to be Valued

Demonstrate Respect Demonstrate Recognition
Questioning rather than commanding Thank
Will you…? A big thank you.

Express doubt Wish

I don’t suppose you might…? Be well, have a nice day.

Hedge the request Inquire

…, if possible. How are you? How is it going?

Acknowledge the impingement Compliment

I’m sure you’re busy, but… Nice sweater.

Indicate reluctance Anticipate

I normally wouldn’t ask, but… You must be hungry.

Apologize Advice
I’m sorry to bother you, but… Take care.

Acknowledge a debt Endear

I’d be grateful if you would… My friend, mate, buddy, pal, honey, dear, bro, guys.

Use honorifics Solicit agreement

Mr., Mrs., Miss, Professor, Dr. etc… You know?

Be indirect Attend to others

I’m looking for a pen. You must be hungry, it’s been a long
time since breakfast. How about some lunch?
Request forgiveness
You must forgive me but… Avoid disagreement
Could I borrow your pen? A: You don’t like it?
B: Yes, yes I like it, um, I usually don’t eat this but it’s good.
Minimize request
I just wanted to ask you if I could use your pen Assume agreement
risky behaviors risky behaviors So, when are you coming to see us?
Pluralize the person responsible
Direct orders Embarrass
We forgot to tell you that you needed Hedge opinion
Interrupt Disapprove
to buy your plane ticket by yesterday. You really should sort of try harder.
Give warnings Ignore
Hesitate Prohibit Openly criticize
Can I, uh,…? Threaten Contempt, ridicule
Suggestions Speak only about yourself
Impersonalize Reminders Mention taboo topics
Smoking is not permitted. Advice Insults, accusations, complaints

© 2020 Stefano Mastrogiacomo. All rights reserved. www.teamalignment.co