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The clarity of NoSurf

I want to post about my experiment with NoSurf previously this year. Right now, unfortunately I am 100% full fallen
into my old internet ways. Logging in, responding to texts, Youtube-ing movies, watching comedies, etc etc.

But earlier this year (and many times before that) - I have dabbled in the experiment of Nosurf. The way I took it, was
pretty extreme. No Internet, Youtube, Facebook, TV, Videogames, Music, etc. Basically, I asked myself "If the
internet didn't exist, what would I do?"

From there, I took it a step further and said, "IF I did not have my playstation, or TV, etc; then what?" - I was pretty
strict. Wouldn't even allow myself to listen to music on Youtube. It's mind boggling HOW in-debt I was with Nosurf.
MIND BOGGELING at how imprisoned we are to our devices. Our phones, our televisions, our streaming video, etc;

Our culture, is now centered around, the reflection of the ego projected onto the internet. Youtube culture, seems to
be a thing. THere has been a shift of conciousness. This, is a huge re-wiring that must take place in order to get
back to the basics.

I had a rule. I could only read books.

The first 2 months, we're insanely difficult. I struggled. I broke my Nosurf streak several times before I got it right. I
felt as if I Was literally reprogramming myself from the inside out. I have only attempted this 3 times in my life. It is
quite difficult.

But there is a simplistic blessing in this approach. My rule was simple. I read books all day. And if I got tired of
reading, and I wanted to watch TV / go on the internet / etc - I Would go into my car.

I'd park my car near a McDonalds, and then turn on the AM Radio. Because AM Radio = Not internet related. I did
this for nearly 4 months. The first 3 months were very difficult. I Remember, daily, struggling with it. I remember,
walking into the house of friend. I was told. "There is something different about you."

I could feel something was different, but not sure what.

The peace, the simplicity, I can't quite put into words. IT was quite a challenge. It challenged me beyond compare.
We are so hooked on our machines, I don't think we, as organisms can fathom the idea of living in a Cave, without
any electricity. We have so much emotional investment into these machines.

The few times I have tried intense NoSurf (meaning, no internet, TV, youtube, videogames, Media etc) - I had almost,
a panic attack. This last time, it happened. I had, what I would like to think, was one of those. I can't put into words
why, if a man sat in his house all day, reading books, he would go into a stir crazy.

The internet, is like the intravaneous connection that kept me connected to some sort of Social stability. At least, I
could go online, and argue / heckle and interact with people through Reddit + youtube. Not anymore. The first night, I
remember what it felt like to disconnect. See, I had been playing Grand Theft Auto 5 and watching Youtube for
roughly 4 hours a day.

So when I disconnected from it all, it felt like I was leaving the party. It felt like I was leaving something. I remained in
Silence, sitting in my living room, the light was lit. I read 3-4 books. "My Experiments with Truth" by Gandhi. The
Bagavadgita. Eventually, I was running out of things to read. I picked up the Bible.

I figured, Hell, this book is about 2,000 pages of tiny text. I won't finish this quickly. two weeks in, I had almost a
panic attack. I had to remind myself, that this "loneliness" was simply, me disconnecting from the artificial interactions
of the internet. We become addicted to the Reddit interactions, the facebook texts, the Sensationalism of politics,
Trump, the "Social leftists said this." - the Youtube comments.. etc. etc. etc.

This void, that was removed, was something I've been connected to my entire life. Back in 1996, when the internet
came out. I was the dork in middle school typing away on the internet. Little did I know, 23 years later, the "internet"
would completely take over the lives of the entire human planet.
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Every man would have access to it, 24/7 all day, in the palm of his hands. This was an interesting debacle.

I think that, those of us, who started out young on the internet have it worst. It isn't just "porn" some of us had to
rewire from. It's the addictions that come from our youth. The habits we've had consistently for many years. This is
one of them.

The clarity of reading, all day, in your home, and only using your phone for work, is an interesting clarity. Immediately,
you see that what matters most is those around you. Those closest to you. Your family and friends. Not some dumb
fuck in Switzerland or Africa who says "tantric sex" is better, or "Full celibacy is supreme" or etc. etc.

The voice of the "Invisible audience" gets silenced. We live in an age, where we are entertaining the "invisible
audience" where we invest so much time and energy, into entertaining, an audience of people, that have no
significance in our life.

These are just the small side effects of doing this. My brain, it yearned for stimulation. I wanted to go back to my
room, and turn my 50 inch wide-screen TV back on, and "vege" our like I have, so many years before. scrolling away
on Youtube videos, vedging out, meaninglessly.

I think the first month, I gave myself a break. Or attempted to. I put Grand Theft Auto 5 in the playstation, and booted
it up. "1 Hour." I said to myself. As my character walked to the beach. I moved him towards the ocean of the Santa
Monica peir of "Los Santos."

"Fuck. I've been here in real life though." I thought to myself.

I listened to the ocean waves bellowing back and fourth. The ambience of people, and the cars driving. I felt an
instant Euphoria. I was amazed at how beautiful and realistic the graphics were. I felt as free as, walking on the
beach. I sat there, and just stared at the ocean.

"This is all it takes." I think to myself. Just the push of a button, and I am in another place, another land. I'm not in
some rural, shit-town that I grew up in. I'm in a beautiful beach with the push of a button. It all became so clear to
me, how wired I was to the game. How Euphoric just, simply, turning the video game on and listening to the
ambience of a city and ocean made me feel.

Why? IS this what really matters? Is this, electronic simulation really what I need, as I sit here, alone in my house,
another night?

I turned it off. And I disconnected it. I put the playstation up in a cabinet. I took my TV out of my room, and put it in a
storage room.

So this panic attack, was a Void that was removed. The void of stimulation. I told myself "It's okay. This is part of the
process." I said.. as I got into my car, and drove for 30 minutes, out to the middle of a clear field, to clear my mind
from being in the house all day, reading books.

The void, turned into, a need to be around family. I visited my sister almost every day. I visited with my nieces, etc. IT
is very easy, to go home, and turn on a movie. Or go on reddit, all day, everyday. It is so simple to do this. But when
we discipline ourselves against it, we see what truly matters.

My interpersonal relationships strengthened. A bond, if you will. I spent a lot of time, talking on the phone with family
and friends, to fill the void. More than usual. Everytime someone called me, we would talk for an hour. It was a
desperate void needing to be filled.

On those hard nights, when I parked at the McDonalds, I Would turn the AM Radio on. I would listen to a talk radio,
in my vehicle, sometimes, I Would be shaking, because the combination of SemenRetention and Nosurf / no media /
internet / videogames deprived me so much of the stimulation I Was used to.

It wasn't just this depravity, and living like a monk that was a challenge. It increased my sexuality as well. It made me
that much susceptible to temptation and stimulation, because, it's so easy to fall into the pit of sexuality, pornography,

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etc; - That was a challenge for me as well. I fell a few times.

I recall, shaking, in my car, listening to the radio, by myself. Shaking, and needing stimulation. craving it. etc. My
interpersonal relationships stengthened. Many a cold night, I spent, sitting in that car at sundown, because I could
not read anymore. Starring at the McDonalds drive thru, listening to talk radio, etc.

Eventually, it got easier. And rather than, going home, to my TV. My Youtube, my facebook, my reddit, my
playstation. I would go for a drive out in a field. Walking by myself at sunset. I recall, after leaving my sisters house,
not wanting to go home. Just driving out to an open field. And starring out into the night, into the sunset, into the
stars. Painfully contemplating, what it means, to truly not have a life of distraction.

I contemplated what our ancestors did, when electricity was not around, when TV's, laptops, and smart phones did
not exist. I sat out there, several times in my car. I didnt want to "Weird" my sister out by hanging out with her more
than usual, or staying there, because I was desperately weeding myself off all of these distractions. Because it's
easy to, go home and Vedge out on youtube and talk "Smack" to random people online.

Eventually. Bit by bit. I found a routine. My mind, my spirit, started to get used to it. (Sort of) - It was rough. It was
depressing. But I pushed forward. Living this strange, ascetic, monk life of reading books all day, etc.

Then, a sort of inner peace came. A clarity. An unconcern about, "Trump said this."- or "School shooting that." -
Nothing mattered. Because, I was not exposed to it.

In the midst of all of this, one day, I said a prayer, I prayed with all of my might, to meet a woman of a certain quality.
3 days later, I met her to the exact specifications of my prayer. She came into my life. It opened up a door, to
something I did not think would ever happen.

The odd thing is, we were energetically linked to very specific details, that I believe, the concentrated energy and
prayer made it happen. We had similar habits. Synchronocities etc. I believe, everyone here has the potential to do
such that. To attract a woman, with the exact same energetic frequency, that you would be amazed at how all the
synchronotic details you would find in a person.

But perhaps, we ween away our energies, spent in twitterland, youtube, Reddit, political nonsense, etc. It's such a
sapping of our intellectual capacity; our mental and spiritual powers. Such a drain. But the pain of boredom, and
panic of uncertainty, lies, in my opinon, another world.

This woman, has been a door, that opened up an entire different world in my life. I believe as we go through life, and
refine our energy, and we seek the ascetic, and strengthen ourselves, we become more potent, and more powerful.
Our mental acuity, etc.

PEople here, sometimes, talk about smoking weed, doing MDMA, etc; Why? Why numb the mental powers we have
here inside us. When we seek pleasurable activities for selfish reason, we are detracting our inner power. Think
about Gandhi, and all the experiments he did in his life, to simplify it. Always trying to simplify his life, less is more.

Giving up his luxuries, giving up clothes, certain foods. "Hack away the unessentials.." Bruce lee Said.

This journey, isn't just a journey about a 3 month reboot, in my opinion. IT is a life long journey of hacking away the
unessentials that we have weened on, in the midst of our miseries and addictions. Incrementally, when we weed out
something useless in our life, we gain something.

I used to think, that I was a boring person, because I gave up alcohol, because I gave up sugar, because I try to give
up sugar, and Caffeine, and so on, and so on. But with each thing I give up, I refine myself, more and more, striving
to need less. For every good thing that is introduced to us, every pleasure we have, is just another attatchment that
is needed.

Now, I met the spiritual equivelent of a woman in my life, that I never thought possible. If you think, some of you are
weird, because you get up early in the morning, work all day, take cold showers, refine your diet, don't watch TV,
avoid junk food, don't drink..

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Wait until you meet your spiritual equivilent. From a simple prayer. As we refine ourselves, our prayers become even
more refined. More otent, more powerful.

Who has more powerful prayers, the man who sits and tends to his needs, and addictions, or the man who, all of his
energies are concentrated into one-ness of mind, singularity? That's what I am starting to leaern with each take-
away. Even with NoSurf.. taking away all the distractions, refining, constantly, praying.. etc..

And as I stood there, taking photos with my woman on a Real life beach, with a real life woman in my arms. Then I
realize, why I turned that playstation off in the first place.

Some may enjoy an occasional alcohol, video game, etc. I'm not against those things. I have spent many many
hours of that in my life. But I think some of us on this path, tend to find, as we strengthen ourselves, we tend to not
need certain things. Does it make us better or stronger? That really is a mtter of opinion.

"Do not pray for an easy life, pray for the strength to endure a difficult one.." - Bruce Lee

Thanks for reading. I love you all.

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