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Sexual Tsunami

Emerging Skills

by Lawrence Lanoff

Website: http://www.DigitalRomanceInc.com
Email: support@digitalromanceinc.com

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 Emerging Skills

for the actions of any parties involved.


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Breath and Sound

Breath and Pleasure Triggers

When it comes to sex and pleasure, we want to come from a position of

conscious choice to redesign our pleasure world. So we have to do this by
taking control of our breath. Now, redesigning pleasure, it's a job that we
all have to do if we want to move into sexual adulthood, and I feel like
sexual adulthood is the baseline for dealing with pleasure. Most of us have
been deeply constricted, and of course we'll get into this more, but you
understand that we have all been held back by the beliefs of our parents,
the beliefs of our teachers, religious beliefs, different concepts that have
kept us from being able to fully be embodied in our pleasure. So as a result
of that, there are all these things that get in the way. They actually get in
the way of us having this full-bodied experience of pleasure.

So part of what we're going to do in this module is begin to take back

control of our breathing. Breathing is sort of the doorway that gives us
access to the body and the body is where so many changes need to happen
both mentally and emotionally. It's in the body where sex actually
happens, and that's why we're going to focus on this particular step in the
breathing. So deep, full breathing – the great thing about it is it restores
physical, emotional, and mental well-being. Here's the key, it empowers
you at the same time. That's what's so amazing about breath and pleasure.
So not only will you feel great breathing, but it also is empowering. So it's
in your best interest by far to learn to breathe slowly and fully and as often
as possible throughout your day in nonsexual situations as well as sexually
stimulating situations. So the key is if you're practicing these techniques
right away, if you're practicing them in daily life, then it's pretty easy to
then take these techniques and apply them in the bedroom.

Practice Makes Perfect. It's practice. Practice makes perfect. In situations

and positions where you would normally be tense or afraid or you'd be
constricted in some way, this is exactly the time to go forth and really
create something new for yourself, and you can do this by breathing. So it
absolutely is worth your time investing in the breath. Breath is the
cornerstone to this program. If you just do the breath techniques without

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understanding the relaxation piece (and that breath and pleasure are part of
the relaxation), then you just have a bunch of techniques that are empty,
and those will only get you so far. So let's get started.

Breath triggers are a fancy way of saying that I want you to learn how to
consciously breathe. Breathing with awareness is essential for triggering
the safety switches and the relaxation switches in a woman’s brain and in
her body that allow her to feel much more pleasure. So imagine for a
moment that you're in bed with a woman and your breathing is really
shallow and you're just kind of like [pants]. Which people do! They get all
tense and nervous and there's all this tension in their body. When I’m
nervous, it’s even my voice, so my voice is tense, and doesn't that make
you want to spend time with me? And doesn't that make you feel really
good and comfortable because I'm tense? That's exactly the opposite of the
place you want to be. Now if you understand, as we went through before,
that kind of tension is triggered by the hungry dog, or the loser in bed. You
break that tension by using breathing triggers and breathing sensations.

Breathe With Awareness. Breathing with awareness is essential. Here's the

difference. I take a deep breath [inhales and exhales]. I just begin to relax
a little bit. I'm going to explain this step-by-step, as I begin to relax a little
bit. I begin to relax my voice. I begin to relax my body. That simple act of
breathing stimulates in my body a relaxation response. Now here's the
coolest thing, until you become conscious of your breathing, breathing is
an unconscious response, which is great, because I don't want to be
responsible for my breathing. I would be dead already if that was the case.
So it's not that I want to be responsible for my breathing. I want that to
happen whether I'm thinking about it or not. But what I do want is I want
to be able to immediately grab my unconscious mind by taking conscious
control of an unconscious process.

So putting this in English a different way, right now let's say you're
unconscious of your breath, but if I say to you, "Take a deep breath,
[inhales] and hold it, and then let it slowly out of your mouth [exhales],” I
just took control of an unconscious process. Prior to that moment, it was
out of my awareness. Then I took a breath and I accessed my unconscious
mind. This is huge. The biggest secret to making belief changes and
changes in your life is understanding that breath and conscious breathing
actually takes control of an unconscious response, which means you're
accessing your deep unconscious mind. So breathing naturally stimulates a

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relaxation response, deep breathing. The goal here is to take control of the
breath consciously and practice slow, deep, full diaphragmatic breaths.

Diaphragmatic Breathing Patterns. What I'm going to do over the course

of this next little while here is focus on the diaphragmatic breathing
patterns. These are the ones I've found most effective for stimulating our
own bodies and the bodies of the women around us. These patterns
naturally make women feel good and relaxed, and people like to feel good.
So if they associate feeling good in their body with you, this is a good
thing. This is perfect for what it is that we are wanting to accomplish here,
which is to become a sexual superhero. You can do this simply by
breathing. The fact is, just by learning how to breathe properly, you are
already going to be heads and tails above most of the men because most
guys get in bed and they breathe really uncomfortably and stressed and
this, of course, translates. But if you really want to create an experience,
deep, deep relaxation is essential.

The Six Conscious Breathing Triggers

There are six conscious breathing triggers that we're going to go over
today, and I'm going to go into them in depth. These spark deep relaxation
and pleasure in your body, and they'll spark it in her body.

Circular Breath. Circular breath, in terms of its core shape, resembles a

circle as it stimulates the parasympathetic nervous system. I'll explain it
more shortly.

Controlled Breath. The second breath to understand is the controlled

breath, and think of this more like a rectangle. It has the top of the breath,
the sides of the breath, which is either an inhale or an exhale. It has the
bottom of the breath and then it has the inhale or the exhale on the way
back up, and that's more like the shape of a rectangle. It has pauses at the
top and bottom of the inhale and the exhale.

Passing Breath. Then we have the passing breath or the shared breath.
This is the breath that you pass back and forth with your lover. This is an
amazing technique, a great technique for developing intimacy, for sharing,
for communication. It's really an incredible technique, and I think you'll
enjoy it a lot. This is especially true if you have somebody that you really
want to develop a more intimate relationship with. The shared breath or
the passing breath is really remarkable.

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Holding Breath. Then we have the holding breath technique. This really
stimulates euphoria. It's quite amazing and has its own special essence.
You may have heard about this particular technique, and it's crazy how
many people die while engaging in what's called auto-asphyxiation.
Essentially you're forcing yourself to hold your breath, but the problem is
auto-asphyxiation can go wrong, whereas holding your breath is fine
because you can just hold your breath as long as you possibly can. You'll
still have the same great awesome feelings, but if you do pass out, you
don't die. The likelihood of your passing out is really slim because your
body naturally will be like, "Hey man, take a breath, take a breath, take a
breath." So that'll happen naturally. But the holding of the breath
stimulates all kinds of euphoria in the body. That's a really fun technique.

Fire Breath. Then there's the fire breath – what's called awakening the
energy in the body breath. This is a classic, old-school technique, but it's
one that I want you to at least be familiar with. I will use the fire breath.
It's a great technique. It's a great mood changer. It's a great way to really
create all kinds of new feelings in your body and sensations, and I find it
really powerful when I need to change my mood in a fairly quick way.

Alternate Nostril Breath. Perhaps my favorite technique of conscious

breathing is the alternate nostril breath. I use this as my general car wash,
my mental relaxation. This is my go-to technique when I really want to
calm myself down or bring a different quality of energy into my world. I
will use the alternate nostril breathing, and it's an amazing technique. I'll
also share that with you momentarily.

Circular Breathing

Let's go over circular breathing first. In circular breathing, we connect the

inhale and the exhale at both ends. So there's never a formal end. There's
never a pause. It's just round and round we go. We let the inhale be full
and deep and relaxed, and we let the exhale exit on its own. So it sounds
something like this. I'm inhaling [inhale] and then I just [exhale]. [Inhale,
exhale] It's just round and round, no beginning, no end. Just think of a
bicycle pedaling. There's no top or middle or bottom. There's just a
circular stroke, and that is the technique of breathing that we're looking for
here. It's just round and round like a bicycle pedaling, no beginning, no
end, just an inhale and an exhale and, depending on your lung capacity,
you can count out 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, or even 10 seconds on the inhale and
the exhale. These things take practice.

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Start with Small Numbers First. I suggest you just start with a three
count. So it would just be like, I'm inhaling, one, two, three, exhaling,
1,2,3, inhaling, 1,2,3, exhaling, 1,2,3. Then I can increase that. So for
example, we could turn that into six seconds. So inhale, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6,
exhale, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, inhale, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, exhale. Already, even just
doing that exercise, I'm already feeling better, more relaxed. I feel my
hands vibrating a little bit, and it just feels good. Oxygen feeds your brain.
So start with small numbers first and then you work your way up to the
sweet spot for you. That might be five seconds or six seconds, or you
might just find like, “Wow, I really can just slow everything down” and a
ten second breath is perfect. So this is all great because what this does is it
says to your body that you're safe and relaxed. If you think about the fight/
flight response, whenever you're either fighting or scared, your breath can
get very shallow, especially in fear. Everything just gets like [pants].

If you've ever seen a kitty or a dog freak out, their breathing is like [pants].
They're trying to be tense and pay attention to the stimulation around
them. So from your body's perspective, it can be very intense. By taking
control of the breath, we actually turn things around in this profound way.
Start with the small numbers. Then find your sweet spot. The reality is, if
you do this correctly, you're going to feel buzzed and high like right away,
which is great. That's what's so much fun about using these techniques. It's
like, what do you need? Do you need a mood change? Boom, start
breathing. It's free and you can't get arrested for it. That's the greatest part.

Controlled Breathing

Our next technique is controlled breathing. Now controlled breathing

triggers a relaxation response as well. It's a little bit different. So
controlled breathing is all about breathing in a rectangular shape with
long, deep, slow, relaxed breath with a hold at the top and a hold at the
bottom. This is like a mental focus technique as well. So when you inhale,
you do a relaxed inhale; and then you push all the air out, and you hold it
for three seconds on the exhale. So let's try it. Let me just do this with you.
So basically we'll do a six second inhale. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, and I hold now
with the inhale, 1, 2, 3. That's the top of the rectangle and now I go down
to the exhale, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. I push all my breath out, hold it, 1, 2, 3.
That's the bottom of the rectangle. Now I go up again, inhale, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5,
6, hold it across the top, exhale down the rectangle, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. Push all
the air out, and at the bottom hold it, 1, 2, 3. Then inhale.

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Concentration. So this is the controlled breath. It's controlled because it

takes some degree of concentration, but it also trains your lungs
differently, and this is a great exercise to do for two to three minutes, even
five minutes if you're feeling in the mood. It really is a breath meditation,
and if you've ever been to a yoga class, or if you've ever been to a
meditation class, there are lots of different techniques that people use, but
if we just simplify it all, the bottom line is, it feels good to breathe, and
controlled breathing works so well because it gives you focus. It focuses
your mind so your mind can't wander, and then it also does the breathing.
You get the breath hold and the controlled breath and this cycle is great.
You do this for two minutes, three minutes, five minutes, ten minutes. You
literally feel like a million bucks. It's incredible.

The other fun game that I like to play with this is I like to set a timer. I'll
say, OK, I'm going to set a timer for two minutes, and I'm going to take the
fewest amount of rectangular breaths that are possible so that essentially
I'm having a contest with myself to see how few breaths I can take in the
two-minute period of time, and this is good to keep a record of just so you
have sort of a baseline. You'll see that you can actually, through practice,
slow your breath down. I have one friend who basically, in two minutes,
takes a total of four breaths, and I have another friend who has practiced
this and has it down to like three breaths in two minutes. So it really
triggers this very awesome sense of control and comfort and relaxation.
This, of course, is key.

Shared Breathing Trigger

I call this a trigger because it triggers those deep sensations of intimacy

and love and connection. This shared breath, this passing breath, is an
incredible technique. It's one you have to try. You won't get any sense of it
in theory. It's one that ultimately you just have to crack out with your lover
and it's like, okay, "I want to test this technique out with you. I heard about
this awesome technique." It really is awesome because it's so focused on
the sensation of breathing, and you really get a sense that it's a very
intimate breathing experience.

Here's the deal, what you're going to do is bring your mouths so that
they're almost completely connected, maybe a half an inch, a quarter of an
inch apart, an inch at most. So you're really on top of one another with
your mouths and you want to be comfortable. You don't want to be holding
up your head or her holding up her head. So you can do it on pillows or

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find a way to kind of have everybody be as comfortable as possible so all

you have to do is concentrate on the breathing. So how this goes is, on her
inhalation, you exhale into her mouth and then she just breathes in all your
air and then you both hold it for three seconds or more. So basically you
would be holding your exhale with the breath pushed out completely, and
she's holding the inhalation of your breath. You both hold it, and then as
you start to inhale, she exhales into your mouth, and then you inhale her
breath and hold that for as long as you can.

Altered States of Consciousness. So this just goes back and forth. Imagine
if your breath was colored, it's like you're passing this purple air back and
forth. You exhale, she sucks it in. She exhales, you breathe it in. So you're
passing this awesome purple fog back and forth, and your job is to just
pass it back and forth as long as you possibly can for as many rounds as
possible. I think the longest I did this was 45 minutes, and honestly, I'm
not going to say anything more. If you can get to five minutes with that or
ten minutes, it's really an amazing technique. I can't even explain what that
does. And if you're with somebody who's down and you can just breathe
together for that period of time just like that, I'm not even going to say,
you have to have your own experience, and then write me and I'll tell you
where to go after that because once you're able to access that state, I'll
have a whole other dimension and domain to take you to, but that's really
beyond the scope of what this program is about. This gets into some pretty
intense and esoteric techniques at that point, but they're very profound,
where you can go from there.

This technique as it is, though, which is just doing this for as many rounds
as you can, which will last anywhere from a couple minutes to five
minutes, maybe ten, will lead you both to altered states of consciousness.
It will. It just has that effect and is very, very intimate. You can do this
while you are penetrating her. In other words, you could simply put your
penis inside of her and just be still and just breathe in this way together
while feeling that connection. Now, of course, your penis will get soft, but
you're already inside of her and the suction will generally hold you inside,
so that's fine. Then you can kind of relax and just enjoy this breathing
technique. Now, I've also had this happen where my cock stays hard and
you're just breathing and it's just, I don't know, it's hard to describe. It's
really quite magical because all of your senses become heightened.

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Hygiene Is Essential. So you can do this technique with clothes on. You
can do it on the couch while you're making out or wherever you are while
you're making out. You can say, "Hey, I want you to breathe in my breath,
and let's share our breath back and forth." And again, you can say like,
"Imagine this is a beautiful purple liquid that we're just breathing in and
out, back and forth" and it is an amazing, amazing technique, very
intimate, very powerful, and will absolutely lead you to an altered state of
consciousness. Now, of course, on an obvious note, please make sure
you've brushed your teeth and flossed. Make sure your breath is fresh. If
you don't use a tongue scraper, I highly recommend you get a tongue
scraper and just, on a daily basis, just scrape the film off your tongue
because these things are related to good breath, but it's also good hygiene.
And it's also, actually as it turns out, good for your heart. So these are
things that I would highly recommend, especially before doing these
particular techniques. There's nothing so unappealing as somebody with
terrible breath trying to share breath with you. It's like, "Oh man, no thank
you."

So this is just a little image. This is about the right distance, you can see,
you can get really comfortable here. You have to get in a position where
you're side by side or one's on top. However you are where you're
comfortable, where you can relax, just pass that breath back and forth. It's
good to keep a little bit of separation because you are going to need a little
bit of fresh oxygen in this technique, but part of the fun is just sharing the
oxygen the way you are. You'll see, it's quite an experience and one of my
favorites and amazingly bonding and just awesome. Great technique to
break out if you're married or you've been with somebody for a while and
you want to do something to blow her mind. This is one of them.

Breath Holding

The breath-holding technique stimulates euphoria. The breath-holding

techniqueis simple, and I discovered it because I was asking myself the
questions after one of my favorite artists died through auto-asphyxiation. I
was curious. I was a kid at the time and I was like, "What?! How did this
guy die?" I researched it and, wow, there it was. You see all these people
who die annually because they're trying these auto-asphyxiation
techniques that go bad, or they do stupid stuff. So I was like, well, how
can we do this in a way where I essentially am getting the same effect, but
if I pass out or if it goes wrong, then my sympathetic nervous system will

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take over and just take over the breathing again. That's what makes this
technique so awesome.

Basically, all you do is take a deep breath and hold it for as long as you
can. It's that simple. You just [inhales] and even as I do that, just for a few
seconds, I'm already getting a buzz. Like my head starts to buzz and
tingle. Deep breathing, really deep breathing like that, feels awesome and
you can do that. You can begin to open your pleasure and get that feeling
of tingle and vibration through your body. It just feels really good. This is
all part of awakening your body because the one principle which I will
discuss further down the road is that, of course, sex happens in your body.
So it's crucial to understand that if sex is happening in your body, it's
important that you have a relationship with your body. So that's the part of
this that is really important to understand.

Be Energetic and Creative. If you don't understand or have a relationship

with your body and you try to have sex, then really, you're having more of
an ‘experience,’ but it's not a partnered experience. It's more like,
essentially, using a woman to masturbate to, which is another thing that
can be really fun and pleasurable if that's what you're going for, but you
want to have choice in all of this. If you don't have choice, like she may be
like "Oh totally, I want to have that experience. Use me. I want to do
that," well that's awesome. That's super fun, but that’s because of choice,
not because that's your default setting. Most men, that's where they are.
They're kind of like using women as masturbators and lose all the
connection because they're just like, I need to put this thing, put Point A
inside of Slot B and then go as fast as I can and get stuff to come out.
That's where most guys are at.

That's why as you start working with this formula, you seriously will be in
the upper 5% of all men who are having sex in the world because so many
guys just don't get this right. It is shocking to me. I hear this over and over
and over again. Some of the most angry communications I've ever had are
from women who are just so frustrated with this kind of behavior. So it's
really fun to start to have choice. You want to be like the Baskin Robbins
of sexuality. You want to be that superhero. You want 31 flavors or 300
flavors. You want lots of flavors because if you just get stuck in one flavor,
what happens is sexuality begins to lose its polarity and its momentum. So
you have to add energy in, and one way to add energy in is to begin to
really enjoy your pleasures and enjoy your fetishes and your fantasies and

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your ideas and your creativity. You start to bring creativity to sex so it
becomes like a joint venture. It's like, "What are we going to create today?
What experience are we going to have?" Aligning with some experience is
really important.

The Building Blocks. So make sure that you, in holding your breath, you
hold it for as long as you can. Make sure that you are imagining spreading
pleasure throughout your entire body. You practice so that, what happens
is I inhale [inhales], I'm holding the breath, and I'm imagining these waves
of pleasure spreading throughout my body. Now, these breathing
techniques, all of them are going to be the basis of learning how to work
with your orgasm as well. So whether you want to have extended orgasm
or you want to learn to control your orgasm or you want to relax into
ejaculating (because some men have a hard time actually relaxing enough
and feeling safe enough to ejaculate with a partner), these techniques are
all the building blocks of that. So all these breathing techniques, these are
the starting points. So any of these techniques, should you use them, are
going to help cultivate all kinds of things down the road.

These are the core of Tantric breathing, and we use these elements to help
us with other things as we get more advanced in the training. These are the
building blocks. You have these, and you're already heads and tails above
the game. So when you're breath-holding, you can also reverse it so you
can practice pushing your breath all the way out and holding it for as long
as possible, so it looks something like this. You're basically like [exhales].
I push it all the way out until I have no more and then I just hold that. It's a
little bit harder to hold with your breath all the way pushed out, but it is
equally satisfying, so try both directions.

You'll also find that that helps strengthen the pelvic floor and the
abdomen. With this particular technique, if you push all the way out and
then you squeeze as hard as you can, you squeeze your abs in as tightly as
you can, this actually gets at some muscles that there is no other way to
get at and it gives you this really cool visual cut in the abdomen where it
connects to the hips. So that's another thing. Just, in both directions,
imagine pleasure expanding throughout your body and, again, sex happens
in your body, so this is what we're developing here.

Fire-Breathing Trigger

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The fire breath is great because this gives you a chance to awaken energy
in your entire body. So if I'm coming home and I'm feeling really crappy
and I'm just like, "Oh god, man, I can't even believe it, I just had a terrible
day" or whatever, I will come in and fire breath to shake it off. When
somebody gets an injury and they're like, "Get up and shake it off. Come
on, shake it off", well, the shaking off part, that's part of how our body
resets. So if you ever see an animal that gets hurt in some way or some
weird thing happens, what happens to that animal is they shake off the
trauma. They literally just start shaking. It's like, "Ahhh" and they shake it
out and then it's gone. Well, you can do the same thing with your day.
Then if you mix that with breath, you get this awesome experience in the
entire body.

There are lots of techniques for the fire breath. You can roll your tongue.
For this one, we're just going to go "shh, shh, shh." We're just going to
make the shh, shh, shh sound, and we're going to contract as much as
possible. We're just going to push the breath out as much as we can with
the diaphragm and the abdomen, and then we're just going to shake out the
arms. In this case, I'm sitting down so I'm just going to shake out my
arms, but you can kind of hear and feel and do this along with me. So
you're basically like shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, lift the shoulders up and
down, shake the arms out, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh. It's like you're
putting your whole body into it and then speed it up, shh, shh, shh, shh,
shh, shh, shh, shh. Really you can do this as long as you want. I'm already
feeling it – you'll get hot, you sweat, you can shake off the energy of the
day. You can change your mood. You can start to think about what you
want. But this creates energy in the body. This is such a great, great
technique. This is my shower technique. This is my go-to if I'm feeling
bad, if I need a mood change. I'm heading in before a meeting, or I need to
just change my state.

Relaxed Energy. The fire breathing is awesome and it triggers that

relaxation response. It awakens your energy and it's more like a relaxed
energy as opposed to a tense energy, like 'Rrrrr, everything's tense.' No,
it's relaxed and awake and alive. Any time I'm having difficulties shaking
off a state, I'll go into a bathroom and just do this and be like shh, shh, shh,
shh, shh. I'm sure people are like, "Boy, that guy's having a hard time," but
it feels so good. So you just shake it out. You can also do it open-mouthed.
It sounds like this, hah, hah, hah, hah, hah, hah. Or you can also roll your
tongue and you can just be like [rolls tongue and exhales].

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Like I said, there are as many techniques as you want. The other one is to
close your mouth and just breathe through your nose. [Breathes through
nose.] When you do this technique, it feels really, really good to also close
your eyes. It warms your body right away. It is a great thing. I will share
this one thing. There was a very close friend of mine and student who was
hiking in Sedona and got lost without proper attire. So what happens is
sometimes in the desert you can get lost, and if you're out and maybe it's
80 degrees when you start and the sun falls and suddenly it's getting into
the 50s and 40s and even 30s, well, he did fire breathing with the woman
who was with him for about three hours until the police came, and they
just had a T-shirt and shorts. They were completely ill-prepared, yet they
didn't get any hypothermia or anything because they were just doing fire
breath and snuggling and just doing fire breath together for that period of
time and it just kept them perfect and the police searchers found them and
they were able to get off the mountain. It's a pretty great technique. A lot
of these techniques have lots and lots of different values, so that's another
thing to keep in mind.

Alternate Nostril Breathing

This is my favorite technique. I use it to synchronize brain hemispheres. It

just is my personal favorite. I use it because this has become my anchor to
relaxation and pleasure. If I use this technique, right away I am in the right
vibe and one of these techniques will give you that place. You want to
develop it to the point where you just have your go-to techniques of just,
bam; I can get right in state and start to feel all the juice and the pleasure
in my body. So this is one of my favorites. This particular technique will
take about five minutes to start out with or two minutes, whatever you
need, but to get the hang of it, somewhere between two and five minutes.
You take your thumb and your ring finger of each hand. In this case, I'm
going to use my right hand. I'm going to put my thumb on my right nostril
and I'm going to put my ring finger on my left nostril. In this case, we'll
start with the left nostril. I'm going to press it closed so I can only breathe
through my right nostril and I'm going to inhale now with my right nostril.

At the top of the breath, I clamp them both and hold, 1, 2, 3, 4, and then I
let go of my ring finger, in which case my left nostril is now open, and I
breathe air out. It goes all the way out. I push it out. I contract my body
and now I breathe in. I'm breathing in through the left nostril. Now I
clamp both and I hold it for 1, 2, 3, 4, and now I release the thumb, which

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opens the right nostril and I breathe out. I squeeze it all the way out and
now I breathe in through that same nostril. I hold them both, 1, 2, 3, 4. I
release the ring finger. Now the left nostril's open. I breathe out. I push the
breath all the way out and contract my body tight, and then I inhale
through the left. At the top of the inhale, I clamp, hold it, and now I release
the right nostril and, again, breathe in through that open nostril and hold it.
In this case, I'm just going to hold it and then you can just relax.

The Present Moment. Do that for five minutes. Wow, that is amazing. It's
amazing how good you feel with I don't know, what was that, a cycle of
three or four breaths just now? It's calming. It's balancing. It's relaxing. It
absolutely makes me feel good. I can feel my body again. I start to come
into the present moment, which is where sex happens. Sex not only
happens in the body, but it happens in the present. That's what's so
beautiful about it. It really brings you into the present moment in your
body. That feels really good. So I want you to do all these techniques.
Practice them. You can share them with your partner, if you have a partner
that wants to practice them with you. Great. Do it. It's awesome. It's so
good for both of you. It's just good to practice in this same way. You can
practice together. You can develop the techniques together. You have ways
to communicate because you've got a shared language together, and these
are new tools that you can keep in your toolbox.

Conscious Breathing

So conscious breathing matters. You can pretend that your breath doesn't
matter. You're a tough guy and you can say, "I don't need to breathe.
Whatever." The reality is, it does matter, and because human beings
inherently look for how to respond based on what's happening around
them, this is key; you can take the lead and you can lead her to relaxation
by feeling pleasure in your body. So by your breathing and relaxing and
going first, you can take her by the hand and lead her into feeling more
pleasure in her body. Breathing and sex go hand in hand. It's just the
reality. It's funny because we've all learned how to do sex quietly, but
that's exactly the opposite of how we should do it. We learn to do it quietly
because our parents never said, "Yeah, go ahead and self-pleasure and
make as much noise as you want. That would be awesome." We don't do
that. We've got this weird moral structure where we just can't experience
pleasure. It's like, in our culture, pleasure is a bad thing for 50 million
different reasons that I'm not going to bore you with, but that's what we're

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taught. We're taught by religion and school and teachers and parents, and
everybody's like, "Oh, don't touch that. Don't do that. No, no, no."

Reclaiming Our Pleasure. So breathing is part of the process to

reclaiming our pleasure. It's a necessary process. It's like breath is essential
for what it is that we're doing here. So I want you to practice all of these
techniques. Conscious breathing matters. It matters for taking back your
life. It matters for taking back your pleasure. It matters for 500 different
things including relaxation in business, while you're out in the world.
Anyplace where you're feeling stressed, you can go to a breathing
technique and instantly bring yourself into the moment and instantly tap
into your pleasure and instantly feel awesome in your body. So conscious
breathing is truly a very, very important part of the process, and I really
invite you to go through this and practice these techniques. It's worth it. It
feels so good.

I remember I was teaching a private class. We had about ten people in this.
We did a private retreat and I remember one of the students asking me,
"What do you do to feel good in your body, and how come you don't get
depressed?" and just sort of a question of what do I do differently. I said,
"I do the same techniques that I'm teaching you. I'm teaching them to you
because they work and they're awesome." It turns out it feels really good.
If I don't do these techniques, it's crazy how quickly I start to feel crappy.
It's amazing what breath can do. So I really recommend just even the
smallest ritual of breathing as just an amazing thing. That's what conscious
breathing is all about.

Conscious Sounding

Sound also matters. As I have mentioned already, sound fills the sexual
space. So whether that sound is music, your favorite tunes – there is a
reason why you put on a Barry White record. He's got his deep voice
going and "Baby…" He's got that thing. You know what's going to happen
here. You know what he's singing about because sound matters and we're
going to talk about what the quality of Barry White's baritone voice, what
that does in a woman's body, what that makes her feel. So the key with
sound and conscious sounding is to know that sound fills the sexual space.
There is nothing more awkward than quiet sex. It is the worst thing
because you start paying attention to all the wrong things that take you up
into your head, and if you go into you head, it is impossible to orgasm. If
you're thinking about, "What do I look like? What do I feel like? Oh my

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god, what are you thinking? What is she thinking? What am I thinking
about what she's thinking? What's she thinking about what I'm thinking
about with her?"

Turn Off the Critical Mind for Sex. There's this horrible loop that
happens, and so sound helps occupy that critical part of the mind, which
really needs to be turned off for sex. We have to learn to turn off the
critical mind for sex. Whether it's your critic or her critic, if you're critical
at all, if you're looking and everything's quiet and she sees you look at her
breasts, she may be thinking "Oh my god, my breasts must look weird" or
"What are my nipples doing?" "Are my nipples erect?" "Is there a hair?"
"Oh my god, my left breast is smaller than my right breast. I'm feeling
self-conscious." These are all the wrong directions, and that's why a lot of
women don't want to have sex with the lights on because they feel so
insecure about their bodies. So if it's dark, then they don't have to deal
with all of those feelings. This is the bizarre part, we're talking about
sound, but sound affects everything.

If you can start to create an environment where you're comfortable, then

fill the space with sound, like, "Ahhh, oh yeah, yeah, it's OK for me to feel
good." You can start to make some noises. It gives you both permission to
feel free and to experience your pleasure and it keeps her inner critic
turned off. So there are a lot of times where if I detect that she's starting to
move to that place, I will completely redirect the energy. I'll direct it to a
different place, especially if I know what she loves about herself and I see
that critic starting to come onboard, boom, I'll redirect it to, "This is so
sexy." So sound, communication is key. Communication is sexy and hot.
That's the thing, sound and voice and all of those things really make her
feel relaxed and make her feel comfortable about letting go, which is what
this is all about.

You really need to let go completely, at the moment of orgasm, because

basically the sympathetic nervous system turns off and the
parasympathetic is completely on and that is what has to happen. So the
critical factor, that critical voice has to shut down. So since we're looking
for what's happening around us, you want to take the lead again. Take the
lead and let her know it's good to make sound. You want to hear her make
sound. You want to make sound. If she's the only one making sound, then
she hears her voice and, again, she can get critical, but if you're both kind
of in sync and you're both making noise together, good things happen,

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even if that's just breathing with sound. So sound and breathing and sex go
hand in hand.

Conscious Sounding – Four Techniques

The Deep Low Growl. There are four techniques that I love for conscious
sounding. One is that kind of deep, low growl. Now if you were to get rid
of the words of Barry White's song, you'd basically hear this guy going,
"Hmmmmmmm. Hmmmm. Hmmmm. Baby, keep on doing it. Right on,
right on." It's like this low, like my chest is vibrating. So I will often times
just do this, hmmmmmmm, kind of like a wild animal seething. That low
growl can really, really have an amazing effect. It's very powerful. It
triggers like, a feeling in her that this guy is an alpha male and he's in
control of his pleasure and he's interested in his pleasure. It's a very
profound kind of sound. So it's like, hmmmmmmmm. I'll just do a long
growl. So that's one sound and, again, that's based on that low resonant
base tone, hmmmmm. I can even turn that into a growl like [growls].
Think werewolf, like I just can't wait to devour you. These are very, very
sexy, sexy, sexy triggers in her body and in her imagination. Again, she
may, as you discuss this more, she may actually have an entire fantasy
around this that you can explore simply with sound.

The Yes Command. The next sound is the yes command, and the yes
command is basically her saying yes, and you saying yes, and you're
communicating in this thing. So when she does something that feels good,
you're like, "Oh yeah, that feels really good." When she says something
that feels really, really good, you can be like, "Oh yes, yes." Of course
you've heard those things, "Oh baby, oh yes" that kind of stuff, but really
what you're saying is yes. You're giving her feedback about what feels
good, and that's very important because, again, you want to turn off her
critic. So if she's doing something but she doesn't know if it's feeling good
or not, she'll assume it's not feeling good if you don't tell her, in which
case she can start to get uncomfortable or it can get weird because there's
not a clear signal. So by just being like, "Oh yes, this feels good. Yes, do
more of that. Put your hand here," I call it the yes command, and you can
really encourage her to do the same thing, which is to tell you what she
likes and what she wants.

The Surrender Sound. The surrender sound is just that "Ahhhhhh." I am

in the receiving mode and I'm letting her know by my relaxation and
pleasure, and she may do the same thing, you may hit a spot and she just

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goes, "Ahhhh." These are all communications, and they're all sounds that
need to appear in the sexual landscape. They have to be there.

The Pleasure-Building Sound. The next sound is the pleasure building

sound. This is a mixture of breath, sound, and movement, all of the
techniques we've been discussing, that begin to combine to begin to build
the pace and pleasure of the orgasmic experience in the body. So the
pleasure building, think of it like a storyline. We want to start with a
certain tempo and then we want to build it slowly. So we'll take it up and
down and up and down, and this begins to demonstrate mastery and
control both with your body, with your sound, with your techniques, with
working her pleasure. Take her up and take her down. Obviously, that
being said, this is in the beginning of the interaction. So I might do
something really over the top, and then relax it, and then build it up again,
like grab her by the back of her hair and give her this big kiss and maybe
grab her back or her shoulder and squeeze her tight and then release her.
So you're building tension and then releasing, and yet there's this
momentum that's building towards the climax of the movie of your sexual
experience. It is like a movie.

So as you move towards the climax – now obviously this is just for those
of you who are beginners, we'll cover this – but as you're building toward
pleasure and she's moving toward her orgasm, if she says to you "Don't
stop. Don't change a thing. Just like that. Right there. Oh, right there, right
there. Oh my god, oh my god," keep doing that, OK? Keep doing that.
Hear me on this, that doesn't mean change techniques. It doesn't mean, oh
let me try this one. No. It means keep doing it. If it's working and all of a
sudden you see her starting to move and it's clicking and she's like, "Oh
yes, yes, right there, right there" stay with that technique. Now it may still
change, that'll happen, but as she gets closer to orgasm, sort of the stability
and reliability of the sensation becomes really important. The same is true
for you. If you have a technique and you're doing something, even if
you're self-pleasuring and you have one thing going on and suddenly you
just randomly do some other crazy shit, that's not going to be the greatest
thing. You'll be like, "Huh, what?" It kind of breaks the pleasure trance,
the pleasure experience.

A Story Structure. So pleasure sound is in line with sound and movement.

It's combined with pleasure happening in the body. There are lots of things
going on, and you want to be able to track and experience all of them. So

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there is a momentum. Again, think of it like a story structure, like an erotic

thriller. It has ups and downs and ups and downs, and it moves faster and
there's more sound, and then you get to the peak and “Oh my god, this is
amazing!” And then it's like, boom, it's the peak and everybody explodes,
and then that's followed by relaxation and storytelling, the denouement. In
the Sexual Tsunami, we're going to talk about what happens after orgasm,
how you handle that post-orgasmic space, and that'll be down the road.
But that becomes really important.

In this case, you're going to want to come to some of the touch techniques
because once you've built the pleasure and the sound and you've got the
breath going, you want to come back to these very, for me, bookmark
techniques. They're places to come back to to really give you a chance to
bring closure to the whole experience for her and give you both a chance
to bond and connect in a deeper way, and it's a great, great thing with a
lover, a girlfriend, a wife. Any place where you want deeper intimacy and
connection, these are great ways to connect.

Recap

So, let's recap. In this video, we went over sexual breathing and relaxation
triggers in the body. We talked about six different types of breathing
techniques and triggers, and how to use them and how to do them and, of
course, I want you to practice them. We talked about practicing the
breathing techniques as often as possible throughout the day. Pick a
technique and practice it. You will gain so much. On a lunch break, do an
alternate nostril breathing or do a fire breath. Use the techniques
throughout the day in nonsexual situations so that they are practiced and
available in sexual situations, and this creates an incredible relaxation and
freedom in her body.

Then we also went over the sexual sounding triggers and how sounds can
have a profound effect on her experience, which they can. They can really
move her body in deep and wonderful ways. We can use sound as
triggering communication. We can use sound to communicate our needs
and wants and desires, as well as words of course, but sound tells so much
and it's very much a part of the sexual dance. Then we also talked in detail
about the four different sexual sounding triggers and how to use them.

Exercise

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So this week, I want you to pick one technique and consciously

practice it at least twice a day, one breathing technique, one that
you relate to, one that you want to try. Use it. Practice it. They are
awesome. These breathing techniques and triggers are tools in your
sexual superhero toolbox, so use them. Crack them out. They are
great techniques. It's amazing how simply some breathing and
sound can start to turn these switches on in a profound way. For
those of you who want extra credit this week, try at least one other
breathing technique. Develop something else, so you have a couple
tools that you're developing. If I were you, I would basically take
one or two a week. If you did two a week in three weeks, you'll
have all six and they'll be in your arsenal. Also, I want you to just
notice, this is just to tune yourself in, I want you to notice when
women naturally make sounds throughout the day, and pay
attention to what they naturally find their pleasure in.

You may notice, you know, desserts or food or just, "Oh, I love that
dress" or "Oh man, that tastes so good." Start to listen to the
unconscious pleasure sounds that your woman is making
throughout the day or any woman is making. It's kind of amazing.
You can walk into a shoe store and she'll be like, "Oh, those are
incredible." These are pleasure sounds, the "Ahhh, ooooh." You
start to realize the things that she's passionate about and excited
about and what turns her on. Pay attention to those things. Start to
tune into that because there's a whole communication of pleasure
going on with your woman throughout the day. They're there.

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