Final writing exam

NAME: Laura Camila García Orozco GROUP: ______01___________________

Writing exam prompt:

 Plan the outline of your essay (use key words only; not paragraphs or complete lines) - 20 minutes

Hook 28.8% of cyclists do not respect road regulations due to lack of regulations.
Introduction

Issue Pedestrians at risk.

Background (2 causes of 1. Lack of regulation.
the issue) 2. Inadequate road structures.
Thesis Statement (Main It can be seen that the increase in massive accidents and restlessness when walking on the
problem + 2 sub-problems) sidewalk, have increased due to the lack of road structures.

Sub problem 1 Massive accidents.

According to the DGT, a total of 381 pedestrians died in Spain last year and, according to the
Explanation/Supporting detail 1 study carried out by Generali, it is estimated that 20% of the pedestrians involved in traffic
Body paragraph 1

accidents were related to cyclists.

Example 1 For example when cyclists go in the opposite direction. This has caused deaths and serious
accidents, since they do not follow the traffic regulations.
Who? Ministry of transport.
Solution 1 What? Increase in driver education.
How? Implement courses where traffic regulations are taught.

Resulting sentence It will reduce the accident rate.

Sub problem 2 Restlessness when walking on the sidewalk.

Javier Aguirre de Cárcer developed a study in which it was shown that 90% of those surveyed
Explanation/Supporting detail 2 consider they feel dissatisfied when going out for a walk on the sidewalks, since they fear that
Body paragraph 2

cyclists could harm them.

Example 2 For example, when they go out to walk the pets, they prefer to go to a place where there is no
traffic of cyclists.
Who? Physical transport infrastructure.
Solution 2 What? Do not mix sidewalks and paths.
How? Build different spaces for pedestrians and cyclists.

Resulting sentence It will reduce the negative impact on the lack of tranquility suffered by pedestrians.
 Final writing exam
 Write the complete essay based on your outline You should write 380-400 words (between 95 to 100 in each
paragraph) - 50 minutes

Writing exam prompt:

28.8% of cyclists do not respect road regulations due to lack of regulations. The risks faced
by pedestrians have had a great impact, as they can be affected psychologically, due to a
Introduction lack of regulations and inadequate road structures. In this way, it can be seen that the
increase in massive accidents and restlessness when walking on the sidewalk, have
increased due to the lack of road structures.

First of all, there are thousands of massive accidents. According to the DGT, a total of 381
pedestrians died in Spain last year and, according to the study carried out by Generali, it is
estimated that 20% of the pedestrians involved in traffic accidents were related to cyclists.
Body Paragraph 1 For example when cyclists go in the opposite direction. This has caused deaths and serious
accidents, since they do not follow the traffic regulations. The Ministry of Transportation
should increase road safety education for cyclists, based on the supplement of courses
where traffic regulations are taught.

Secondly, another important issue is restlessness when walking on the sidewalk, in fact
Javier Aguirre de Cárcer developed a study in which it was shown that 90% of those
surveyed consider that they feel dissatisfied when walking on the sidewalks, since they fear
that cyclists can harm them, for example when they go out to walk their pets, they prefer to go
Body Paragraph 2 to a place where there is no traffic of cyclists. To face this situation, the physical transport
infrastructure entity establishes the construction of different spaces for pedestrians and
cyclists. This will certainly reduce the negative impact on the lack of tranquility suffered by
pedestrians.

Taking everything into account, the lack of road structures has generated multiple accidents
and restlessness when walking on the sidewalks. Therefore, it is important to help people by
creating adequate road structures. To face this situation, government entities must generate
solutions that ensure psychological and structural benefits to the population. Only then will
Conclusion there be an improvement to the increase in accidents towards pedestrians and unrest.

REFERENCES

 CGPA, 2020. Generali Prevé Un Aumento De Accidentes Por El Mayor Número De Bicicletas, Coches Y
Peatones En Vías Públicas - Seguros News. [online] Seguros News. Available at:
<https://segurosnews.com/news/generali-preve-un-aumento-de-accidentes-por-el-mayor-numero-de-bicicletas-
coches-y-peatones-en-vias-publicas> [Accessed 11 December 2020].
 Optimus, 2019. 6 ACCIDENTES COMUNES EN BICI Y CÓMO EVITARLOS. [online] Bicicletas de montaña -
Optimus Bikes. Available at: <https://www.optimusbikes.com/blogs/tips-ciclismo/6-accidentes-comunes-en-bici-y-
como-evitarlos> [Accessed 11 December 2020].
 Final writing exam
  Sifontes Cabas, M., 2020. [online] Repositorio.escuelaing.edu.co. Available at:
<https://repositorio.escuelaing.edu.co/bitstream/001/891/1/Metodolog%C3%ADa%20para%20evaluaci%C3%B3n
%20de%20la%20seguridad%20vial%20a%20la%20infraestructura%20de%20usuarios%20vulnerables
%20peatones,%20ciclistas%20y%20motociclistas%20en%20proyectos%20viales%20concesionados..pdf>
[Accessed 11 December 2020].
 Submit your essay at Virtual Sabana (Copy paste each paragraph) – Day 13 - 10 minutes

Appendix: Checklist (You may fill this out to make sure you have addressed all the required points)

Ye
  Essay parts s Partially No
  Introduction      
I1 Hook is clear, appropriate and appealing.    
I2 Issue is clear and well paraphased (based on the writing prompt).      
I3 Background presents two concrete causes (not consequences).      
I4 Thesis is formed with the main issue + two concrete derived suproblems.      
  Body paragraph 1      
The first suproblem is clearly introduced using alternative wording in a
BP1-1
complete sentence.      
There is a clear explanation that provides more concrete details on the
BP1-2
subproblem.      
BP1-3 There is a pertinent example that illustrates a case from a real life situation.      
The WHO? shows the agent of change or the entity that can/should take action
BP1-4
(not the same people involved)      
The WHAT? shows a well-thought course of action (not simplistic, copied or
BP1-5
common sense actions)      
The HOW? clearly proposes how the proposed action can be achieved (in a
BP1-6
very concrete way).      

BP1-7 The result informs what can be expected to happen with the subproblem
(improvement, control, reduction, reflection…)      
  Body paragraph 2      
The first suproblem is clearly introduced using alternative wording in a
BP2-1
complete sentence.      
There is a clear explanation that provides more concrete details on the
BP2-2
subproblem.      
BP2-3 There is a pertinent example that illustrates a case from a real life situation.      
The WHO? shows the agent of change or the entity that can/should take action
BP2-4
(not the same people involved)      
The WHAT? shows a well-thought course of action (not simplistic, copied or
BP2-5
common sense actions)      
The HOW? clearly proposes how the proposed action can be achieved (in a
BP2-6
very concrete way).      
The result informs what can be expected to happen with the subproblem
BP2-7
(improvement, control, reduction, reflection…).      
  Conclusion      
The thesis was restated either paraphrasing it or changing the order of its
C1
parts.      
C2 A summary of solutions is provided in a complete statement avoiding      
 Final writing exam
repetition of full fragments already stated above.
A summary of doers/entitiies/agents of change is provided in a complete
C3
statement avoiding repetition of most words already stated above.      
The final statement is a strong final remark on what is expected to happen to
C4 the main issue (not the subproblems) if the suggested course of actions is
taken.