MY BELOVED CHARIOTEER

Shashi Deshpande

Shashi Deshpande was born in 1938 in Dharawad, Karnataka. She has degrees in

Economics and Law. Shashi Deshpande has written children’s books, short stories, novels and

essays. She published her first collection of short stories in 1978. My Beloved Charioteer is one

of her short stories. She won the Sahitya akademi Award for the novel That Long Silence in

1990. She received Padma Shri award in 2009.

The story describes the difficulties and hardships faced by women in the patriarchal

society i.e male dominated society especially in middleclass society. Of course, domination has

been prevailing in all sections of society, it varies only in degree. The story illustrates the

relationship and bond that exists between mother and daughter. Throughout the story, the

anguish of mother towards her child is visible. The vacuum, misery and hollowness of widowed

women and how they reconciled is portrayed through grandmother, Ajji, daughter, Aarti in the

short story My Beloved Charioteer. Story also depicts how three generations, Ajji, Aarti and

Priti react with each other.

Ajji

The story is presented from Ajji’s point of view. Ajji is dominated by her husband and

suppressed in all possible ways. During her early married life she changed her daily routine and

even her food habits for the sake of her husband. But her husband treated her like an object to

satisfy his desires. She molded herself to suit to the needs of her husband and family. She did not

have liberty to wear a sari of her choice. In the bedroom at night she hardly dared to breathe. She
was afraid to get up and get glass of water to drink because that would disturb his sleep. She was

afraid to cough too. Ajji gives birth to two sons and one daughter, Aarti. Two sons do not

survive. Her husband did not like tears so she cried secretly when her two sons died. Her only

daughter, Aarti, loves her father but not her. Soon, Ajji’s husband dies of massive heart attack.

Later, Aarti’s husband Madhavan passes away when she is pregnant by seven months. Aarti

gives birth to a baby girl, Priti. Now three women stay in one home.

Aarti entirely entangles in past neglecting her present. She becomes isolated and finds

solace in her father’s room. Ajji cannot bear isolation from her daughter and tries to get her

daughter out of her entangled past and tries to confront her with the truth of her real situation.

Ajji tries to show some ways to her daughter to overcome loneliness by advising her to go out to

park or any place of her choice. But, Ajji is shocked to listen to her reply that if she comes across

people who are happy, she would indeed kill and bury their happiness.

Though Ajji is holding the pain of her husband, she is confronting with her situations.

She is able to lead life peacefully, though she is a widow. But she is unable to make her widowed

daughter live peacefully in same situation. Ajji tries to change the attitude of her daughter in

many respects for her bright future.

The photo frame that is broken accidentally by Aarti gives a chance to Ajji to finally

disclose her oppression to her daughter which makes her daughter realize true character of her

father resulting in reconciliation with her mother. She looks at her mother as though she is

looking at a strange person. By the looks Ajji realizes that Aarti has desirable change in her and

she understood the true nature of her father. Further she says that people who are living are more

important than people who are dead. Thus indirectly she says Priti is more important than her
husband and father who are no more. She asked her daughter to live in the real world and face

realities of life with confidence and courage. Thus Ajji brings her daughter to the central position

of life from isolation and aloofness. Ajji makes a successful attempt to counsel her daughter to

forget all the incidents that gives her pain, distress and agony and finally make her come out of

loneliness and realize her responsibility as mother.

Aarti

Aarti loved two persons in her life-father and husband, Madhavan. Her married life was

full of love and understanding. She was happy. Unfortunately, her father dies of heart attack and

later the death of her husband completely shatters her life and she becomes very sad and

depressed. She is angry with her mother because she did not inform her when her father

wascritical condition. Aarti stops talking to her mother. She neither does household chores,

takes care of her daughter, Priti nor help her aged mother who herself is a widow. She never

plays with Priti.

Her grief knows no bounds as she lost two most loving persons of her life. She spends

most of her time in her father’s room, smoking, staring at walls with blank face. She does not

take bath, gets up late in the morning. By the time she wakes up, her mother would be cooking

lunch. By the sounds Aarti makes, Ajji would understand that she got up. Ajji would prepare tea

and Aarti takes two cups of tea and would leave the kitchen without speaking a word. Rest of the

day she is confined to four walls. She is lost in her own sadness and neglects the needs of her

daughter. Though Ajji tries to speak, Arti replies very harshly as though her mother has done lot

of injustice to her. She never tries to understand her mother’s urge to bring her back to normal.

Her attitude was careless and revolting as though she had lost the entire world. Aarti’s hatred
against her mother is quite absurd. She finds solace in her dead father’s room rather than her

mother who is very much alive. Aarti loves her father more than her mother. No one else and

nothing else matters to her.

Finally, she comes out of her isolation with the help of her mother and shoulders her

responsibilities and reconciles with her mother.

Priti

Priti is the only ray of hope for the family. She loses her grandfather and father even

before she is born. Her mother was leading a depressed life. She never plays with Priti. Though

Priti loves sleeping with her mother, Aarti spends entire night smoking and does not sleep well.

She scolds Priti to exhibit her anger, outrage and displeasure. She did not show any concern, love

and affection to her child. So Priti tries to figure her mother in her grandmother Ajji. She did not

want to sleep with her mother, she only wanted to sleep with her grandmother. She did not like

the smoking smell from her mother. Ajji felt that Priti was losing the motherly affection so Ajji

takes care of Priti. She dresses her up, and they both have tea together. Ajji makes breakfast for

Priti and sends her to school. Priti finds solace in her grandmother’s company. And Ajji’s ray of

hope is only Priti and this is the only happiness Ajji has at home.

The story brings out how a woman though suffered a lot during her life time, tries to take

the responsibility, tries to show the right path to her children and make her children realize their

responsibilities. The story also depicts how a mother loves, protects, safeguards, guides and

mentors her children in different situations in life especially in difficult situations and helps them

lead balanced life.

weblinks

1. Symbolism in My Beloved Charioteer.

https://ijellh.com/OJS/index.php/OJS/article/view/7915

2. Mother and daughter relationship in My Beloved Charioteer

http://www.onlinejournal.in/IJIRV2I12/326.pdf