Fruit and Veggie Jokes

Great for Halloween:

Q: What is a vampire's favorite fruit?
A: A neck-tarine!

Q: How does a ghost eat an apple?

A: By goblin it!

Q: What is a ghost’s favorite fruit?

A: Boo-berries

Apple
Q: When is an apple a grouch?
A: When it's a crab apple!

Q: What do you call an apple that plays the trumpet?

A: A tooty fruity!

Q: What did the apple skin say to the apple?

A: I’ve got you covered

Q: Why were the apple and the orange all alone?

A: Because the banana split

Apricot
Q: What is King Kong's favorite food?
A: Ape-ricots!

Banana
Q: What do two bananas do when they meet each other?
A: A banana shake!

Q: What kind of shoes are made from banana peels?

A: Slippers!

Q: Why did the banana go to the doctor?

A: Because it wasn’t peeling well

Q: What did the banana in the sun say to the other banana in the sun?
A: I don't know about you but I'm starting to peel!

Q: What key do you use to open a banana?

A: A monkey

Beans
Q: What’s a tailor’s favorite kind of vegetable?
A: A string bean!

Q: What kind of vegetable is jealous?

A: A green bean!

Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Bean
Bean who?
Bean a while since I last saw ya!
 Fruit and Veggie Jokes
Beets
Q: Why did the people dance to the vegetable band?
A: Because it had a good beet

Brussels Sprouts
Q: What is green and goes to a summer camp?
A: A Brussels’ scout.

Q: What’s the strongest vegetable?

A: A muscle sprout

Cabbage
Q: Why do cabbages win at races?
A: Because they know how to get a-head!

Q: What is a taxi driver’s favorite kind of vegetable?

A: A Cab-bage!

Q: How did the farmer fix his jeans?

A: With a cabbage patch!

Cantaloupe
Q: What did the Mama melon say to the baby melons boyfriend?
A: You Cant-Eloupe

Carrots
Q: What did one carrot say to the other carrot?
A: Is it orange in here, or is it just me?
Q: What did the other carrot say back?
A: Hang on a minute while I root around for the answer!

Cauliflower
Q: What kind of flower should never be put in a vase?
A: Cauliflower

Celery
Q: What vegetable might you find in your basement?
A: Cellar-y!

Coconut
Q: What is brown, hairy, and wears sunglasses?
A: A coconut on vacation

Corn
Q: What kind of vegetable is the most likely to be a rock and roll fan?
A: An ear of corn!
Q: What does corn say when it feels embarrassed?
A: “Aw, shucks!”

Q: Why is it not wise to tell secrets in a cornfield?

A: There are too many ears!
Q: Why did the corn stalk get mad at the farmer?
A: He kept pulling its ears!

Q: What does Cornelius call his silly friends?

A: Corn flakes!
 Fruit and Veggie Jokes
Q: What does corn get when you leave it in the barn too long?
A: COB webs

Q: What did the little cob of corn call his dad?

A: Pop Corn!

Q: What do you call corn that joins the army?

A: Kernel

Q: Which vegetable has the best hearing in the field?

A: An ear of corn.

Q: What does the rooster say to wake up Cornelius Corn?

A: Cob - a - doodle - do!

Cucumbers
Q: Where do cucumbers go for a date?
A: The salad bar!

Dates
Q: What school subject is the fruitiest?
A: History – because it is full of dates

Eggplant
Q: What is a chicken’s favorite kind of vegetable?
A: An egg-plant

Q: What’s purple, delicious, and fun to decorate for Easter?

A: A hard-boiled eggplant!

Grapes:
Q: What happens when you sit on a grape?
A: It gives a little wine!

Q: Why aren't grapes ever lonely?

A: Because they come in bunches!

Q: Why did the grape stop in the middle of the road?

A: Because he ran out of juice

Leeks:
Q: Which vegetable can’t you take on a boat?
A: Leeks.

Lettuce
Q: What is a kayaker’s favorite kind of lettuce?
A: Row-maine!

Q: What did the salad greens say to the hungry kid?

A: We’ll make your mouth and your tummy happy, if you lettuce (let us)!

Q: Knock, Knock
Who’s there? Lettuce
Lettuce Who?
A: Lettuce in and you’ll find out!
 Fruit and Veggie Jokes
Q: What did the lettuce say to the celery?
A: Quit stalking me!

Q: What did the salad say to the dressing?

A: Lettuce be friends!

Mushroom
Q) What room can be eaten?
A) A mushroom!

Q) Why does Ms. Mushroom go out with Mr. Mushroom?

A) Because he is a fungi (fun guy)!

Onion
Q) What do you get when you cross a potato with an onion?
A) A potato with watery eyes!

Orange:
Q: Why did the man at the orange juice factory lose his job?
A: He couldn’t concentrate!

Peach
Q: Did you hear the joke about the peach?
A: It’s pit-iful!

Pears:
Q: What are twins’ favorite fruit?
A: Pears (pairs)!

Peas
Q: What do vegetables wish for, more than anything else in the whole world?
A: Peas (peace) on earth!
Q: Why do vegetables want that so much?
A: Because it will give them peas (piece) of mind!

Q: What do you get when two peas fight?

A: Black-eyed peas

Pineapple
Q: When is an apple not an apple?
A: When it’s a pineapple!

Q: What kind of fruit do trees like the most

A: Pine-apple

Plum
Q: What kind of fruit can fix your sink?
A: A PLUM-ber

Pumpkin
Q: How do you fix a cracked pumpkin?
A: With a pumpkin patch!

Radishes
Q: Why are radishes smart?
A: Because they’re so well-red!
 Fruit and Veggie Jokes
Q: What’s the coolest vegetable?
A: A rad-ish!

Q: What is small, red and whispers?

A: A hoarse radish!

Strawberries
Q: Why were the strawberries so upset?
A: Because they were in a jam!

Q: What is a scarecrow’s favorite fruit?

A: Straw-berries

Spinach
Q: What’s a dancer’s favorite kind of vegetable?
A: Spin-ach!

Q: What’s the most uncomfortable kind of vegetable?

A: Spin-ouch!

Sweet Potato
Q: What did the sweet potato say to the pumpkin?
A: I yam what I yam

Tomato
Q: Why did the Tomato go out with a prune!
A: Because he couldn’t find a date!

Q: How do you fix a broken tomato?

A: Tomato paste!

Q: Why was the tomato blushing?

A: Because it saw the salad dressing.

Q: What did the father tomato say to the baby tomato whilst on a family walk?
A: Ketchup.

Turnip
Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Turnip
Turnip who?
Turnip the radio please!

Zucchini
Q: What kind of vegetable likes to look at animals?
A: A zoo-chini!

Q: What is a zucchini’s favorite game?

A: Squash!

Jokes were taken from:

▪ Alexander The Grape: Fruit And Vegetable Jokes by Charles Keller. Englewood Cliffs, N.J., Prentice-
Hall, c1982.
▪ Dole 5-A-Day website (http://www.dole.com/#/superkids): Cornelius Corn’s Corny Jokes
▪ http://kids.yahoo.com/jokes