Teens and Technology

In some households, there seems to be an iPhone/social media/technology war going on. Parents and
teens don’t seem to be on the same page. What is going on? What is really at issue here? In order to
shepherd teens wisely, parents need to understand that this new age of technology brings many benefits
but is fraught with dangers not previously seen before.
Parents of teenagers today grew up in a time when Christian values were still respected and the
technological information age was at its infancy (personal computers and cable TV). In contrast, today’s
adolescents are facing a culture that has become openly hostile towards Christian standards and where
communication flows 24/7 at hyperspeed through smartphones via social media. It may feel like an uphill
battle as parents try to teach their children a Christian worldview amidst this never-before-seen ubiquitous
cacophony of post-Christian thought.
Let’s look at three key questions that every teen has wrestled with since Cain and Abel in order to see what
today’s culture is preaching, what role technology plays, and how parents can navigate through these
choppy waters.

Who am I? Identity
Child of God – All believers have been chosen by God to be His adopted sons—co-heirs with Christ (Eph. 1:5). The
world’s answers to the identity question are rooted elsewhere.
Worldly Lies –
I am the center of the universe. Teens get what they want when they want—streaming movies, TV shows, and music.
Websites, social media, and advertisements all pander to the user’s preferences and likes. On top of that, too many
households are centered around the children’s schedules.
I am my accomplishments. Worldly identity is primarily rooted in a teen’s success in school, athletics, and other activities
or the teen’s popularity, looks, and abilities. Social media only reinforces this notion through a never-ending cycle of “likes”
and affirmation which then leads to the creation and ongoing tweaking of an idealized online self.
I am whatever I feel I am. A recent Google search reveals that secular culture currently recognizes 112 genders and
counting! Objective truth has been replaced with subjective emotion and a redefining of what it means to be me.
Solutions – Create Christ-centered rather than child-centered homes. Model good social media usage—are you feeding
your teen’s false identity through what you are posting about them? Talk to them about what it means to be uniquely made,
explore their fear of man, and teach them a biblical view of right and wrong. Try a social media fast together. Ask them
what they missed during the fast and why.
Why Am I Here? Purpose
To Worship God – Christians have been saved to live a life of worship for God (Rom. 12:1). This involves being
different, living sacrificially, and showing an uncommon love. However, teens today face challenges to living this life that
their parents may not be familiar with.
Worldly Influences –
Teens will check their iPhones within minutes of waking and usually before spending time with God. Checking friends’
social media posts is a minute-to-minute distraction, unlike any addiction youth have struggled with in the past.
The prevailing cultural winds prop up a tolerance that embraces all lifestyles and choices unless one is seen as intolerant.
Christians today face open hostility and are quickly labeled as narrow-minded and bigots when standing up for truth. Social
media not only encourages this brand of tolerance but also is an environment set up for easy persecution (see cyberbullying
and trolling).
Solutions – Create boundaries for wise usage: no phones in the bedrooms at night, limit daily leisure media time, choose
social media sites together. Stay involved: know the sites teens are on and check in on them. But more importantly, help
teens understand that what they are doing on social media is an extension of what their hearts are seeking (comfort, escape,
security, etc.). Finally, continue to teach about living for God, what it looks like to speak truth in love, and how to utilize
social media as a tool for the kingdom.
What Makes Me Happy? Contentment
Enjoying God – We are most satisfied when we worship and live for God and in His presence is the fullness of joy (Ps.
16:11). This current generation has higher rates of depression, anxiety, loneliness, and suicide than previous teen cohorts.
Why?
Worldly Anxieties –
Missing out. FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) and FOBLO (Fear of Being Left Out) are threats to contentment that are
dramatically heightened in a now ever-connected world. A corollary to this is the stress that develops from the inevitable
comparisons to the picture perfect lives posted online.
Waiting in a “have-it-now” and easy culture. Ask Siri, same day delivery shopping, instant streaming – technology has led
to unprecedented efficiencies in day-to-day life. Sadly, lack of patience and attention spans can often lead to anxiety when
perseverance is called for.
Perceived threats. Offenses determined by feelings rather than truth has resulted in a generation of fragile, hypersensitive
teenagers. Recent phenomena in colleges include the demand for safe spaces (so that students can recover and process
through perceived offenses), trigger warnings (when a literary text may include potentially displeasing language), and the
removal of faculty and speakers (if they hold or state an opinion that may cause upset).
Solutions – Get teens off of their devices! Rather than worrying about what everyone else is doing, get them outside, play
board games, or have a movie night. Have more face-to-face time. This means device-free times—stack the phones in the
middle of the dinner table or in the glove compartment of the car and spend time connecting instead. Invite their friends
over (and take away their devices!). Help them think in light of eternity; the big fear teens should have is missing out on
eternity. Stop over-parenting and bubble wrapping teens. Let them fail, make them wait, give them more free play. Teach
them a biblical understanding of feelings. Social media thrives and is designed for bursts of short-term worldly happiness
that keeps us coming back for more. Teach them that true eternal joy is found in God alone.
Just as you wouldn’t give your teens the car keys without first teaching them how to drive, let’s stop giving
our kids iPhones and Instagram accounts without first shepherding their hearts on wise usage.

Questions for Reflection

When it comes to technology and its potential dangers, what specific heart issues do we need to address
as parents? Knowing that teens are digital natives whose social fabric is wrapped up in technology, in what
ways do we need to be more sensitive and understanding in this area?