Stat Heist

You start with 3 stats. Roll a d12 and a d8 three times to get the row and column of each
stat. When the going gets tough, you can only perform actions that follow through from your
stats, so choose wisely (it’s a joke because you’re not going to be choosing shit).
If you’re the players you could always collectivize and demand your GM allows you to start
with more stats. I, the game designer, wouldn’t stop you even if I could.
If you’re the GM, don’t roll on this. You have all the stats that aren’t rolled.
Once you have your stats, roll a d6 on the Dice Class table to determine what dice mechanic
your character uses to determine success, and start playing.
Table contents written by the following posters on twitter who bravely responded to the call

CHAracter Creation
of duty:
@Bleak_Press, @_sulcata, @GilaRPGs, @ostrichmonkey, @mattster895, @SiSweetman,
@ItsDanPhipps, @AaronCatanoSaez, @ErnstMOKKA, @_rayolsen, @mvmaxv,
@ErnstMOKKA, @trollhands, @braverun_wlh, @trouser_mouse, @keganexe
Thanks to @keganexe for making a typo when talking about STAR HEIST, a much better
game than this, thus sparking me into making this.
Sorry this looks like absolute shit, I’ve already put in too much effort to get it this far.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

Engaging
1 volume correlation EVA Synch rate. Hunger “Into Astrology” Face memory Luminescence
stakeholders
Secret Herbs
2 Redness Dinosaurs Seredipity Posting Balance Number of Pets patience
and Spices
Lactose Identifying Fiscal Ironic Bumper
3 Plant-nurtureability Forgetfulness Mixology Bees
Tolerance Unseen Noises Responsibility Stickers
Criterion
4 Temperature Sleep Good Whimsy Parsing Graphs Chef Lung Capacity Collection DVDs Stress Fractures
Unread Books
5 Tardiness Linear Regression Putting On Airs Muscle Memory Celebration Green Thumb Shits to Give
Owned
Vegetable, Tofu,
6 Fluffy Orange Salty Polygon Count Squareness Papercraft Chicken, Beef, Vegetables
Pork, or Shrimp
Controlling Jackets to
7 Blogging Desk Organization Retention Slapping Student’s T-Test Notekeeping Frogs Closets Ratio
Hanging
8 Dual Power Penmanship Coffee Brewing Tech Esoterica Retail Stamina Moving Buddy Flavor Profile Curtains

9 Quiet Crunchy Thicc Portability Peeling Labels Length Detecting Gluten Gumption
Pretending to
Finding Paths Shoulder to Cry
10 Hustle Specific Gravity Sports Trivia Through Crowds Knuckle Crack Germination Pull Off the End
On of Your Thumb
Internal Heart
11 Amount of Pockets Opacity Pocket Depth Bioluminescense Buoyancy Resonance
Pressure Palpitations
Intrinsic Dialectical
12 Rootin Tootin Shootin Bootin Garage Space Cheating
Motivation Materialism
# Dice Class Setup Rules
DICE CLASS TABLE Dice Rules
Assign +1, -1, 0 to your 3 stats. Any new stat you get starts at 0. When you get When you have to roll, roll 2d6+stat. 6- means you face
1 Apocalyptico a 6- on a roll, mark an xp. When your xp exceeds the current number of stats, consequences, 7-9 means you succeed with consequences,
increase a stat by 1. 10+ means you succeed outright
Start with 1d10 when you try to roll. Add an additional d10
Roll 3 additional times on the stats table but instead of stats, these are your for each stat that applies. Count the highest die:
resistances. Resistances are different ways that you can take stress. When
instructed to take stress, the GM rolls 1d6 for you tells you what kind of stress 1: Critical Failure (take double stres)
2 #resist you take, and then rolls 1d10 to determine if you take fallout. If the d10 is lower 2-5: Failure (take stress)
than your current amount of stress in that resistance, something bad happens 6-7: Success (take no stress)
to you related to that.
10: Critical success (inflict +1 stress for each 10 you roll)
Grab a number of d6 equal to the number of dots for the
Assign 2 total dots to your stats. relevant stat. Decide if you want to push yourself by marking
Perform tasks that are immensely satisfying and don’t help the mission to 2 stress to get an extra die. Roll the dice and count the
highest
3 Covert blacksmith relieve 1d6 stress
If your stress ever reaches 3x the number of stats you currently have, the stress 1-3: big time consequences
becomes too much to bear. Roll for a new dice mechanic 4-5: success with consequences
6+: outright success
Roll a d20. If you roll equal or under your save, you pass. A
4 Oddball Roll 3d6 for each stat, but they’re called saves for you 1 is always a success, a 20 is always a failure.

When you roll a stat, roll 2d6. If multiple stats apply, you
A consequence is twofold: something fictional gets in your way, and you take can roll 3d6 and take the highest 2.
stress to reflect it. ■ 2: Failure with a Major Consequence or Minor Injury
Take the number of stats you have, multiply it by 2, and split that number ■ 3 - 5: Failure with a Minor Consequence
5 Phanta between physical and mental stress. If you fill up on either, something bad ■ 6 - 8: Success with a Minor Consequence, or Failure
happens to you. It’s up to the GM
■ 9 - 11: Success
To take a boon, roll on the stat table. You can use that stat exactly once on a
future roll. ■ 12: Success with a Boon

6 Player’s Choice You can pick anything else from this table, or come up with your own
The GM determines a difficulty in secret before you roll. Roll
Foll 3d6 for each of your stats to determine the ability score and use Google to 1d20+modifer of the relevant stat. The GM will tell you if you
7 Dragon Fan succeeded or failed.
figure out how to convert an ability score into a modifier

PLAYING
Once everyone has their stats and playstyle in place, the players tell the GM what
setting they’re in and create characters in that setting. The players then concoct a
target of their first heist, and give the GM 5-10 minutes to do a little bit of
prepwork.

GM: roll on the stats table at least once for each player, or more times if you want a
bigger heist. Write the results down on separate notecards, and consider how this

The
stat is manifested in the world as something the players can steal. Write this down
as well. Put the notecards face down on the table, optionally stacking any heist
targets that make sense to be in the same place.

On the back of each notecard, put a six step clock or a d6 set to the number six.
Throughout play, tick the clock or reduce the die by one any time the players
succeed on a dice roll that gets them closer to successfully stealing it. When there is

Game
only one step left, give them an opportunity to take the stat as their own if they
succeed one more roll.