Courtship

Pre-Colonial

This happens in any of the following forms

1. During the harvest, the young man shows his interest to the lady through the pounding of rice. If
she does not loke him, she will strike his pestle causing the ‘palay” to spill out from the mortal.

2. In the presence of the council of the elders known as ‘BAGELAL’, the man who is interested of a
lady bur has no prior agreement with her, will his intention in this matter. While eating, the man
faces the lady and winks his eyes while sucking the content of the shell (SUSU). If the lady winks
back, it means she was also interested to have a relationship with him. The action is the basis of
the ‘bagelal ‘to discussion on Courtship/Marriage.

3. ‘MAGDAAK’ is form of courtship where a man gives a dowry to parent of the lady to ensure that
she will not entertain other suitor while the courtship is going on. Even the lady doesn’t know
like him, he can continue his courtship for seven weeks up to the maximum of seven years. If the
lady she still resists and ignore the man, the courtship shall end. The tribal leader has the
prerogative to decide on the matter. If the answer is negative, all efforts and financial expenses
of the are forfeited.

4. SUKOB/POLOKLOP/PHALUNSOD
If a man wants a woman but finds it difficult to court her, he will talk with the Timuay who plan
for a forced wedding which will happen when there is an activity involving community people.
During this time, the wears a malong and forces the women to get into his malong in the
presence of the people. To save the honor and dignity of the women, she has to marry the man
at the moment. The Timuay who is present will administer the ceremony.

5. SOLAKAN this is another forceful way of marriage which happens when a man wants a woman
without prior agreement. Before the will g0o to the house of the lady, he tells his parents and
the leaders of his intention whom then follow him ton the house of the women. He brings with
him a bolo or a sword known as ‘SOLAKAN’ which he gives to the parents and tells of his
intention to marry their daughter or else they have to kill him with ‘SOLAKAN’ or he will kill
himself. Soon after, the tribal leaders who are following will prevent any tragic incident that may
happen and will arrange the terms and conditions with both parties. The food brought by the
parents of the man will be served during this time. Most often the woman will agree on the
marriage proposal.

6. TANGAG They will elope with the girl. This happen if the parents of the girl cannot accept the
boy. To be accepted back the man is bound to give a ‘SUNGGURAN’ (dowry)the amount of
which to be identified by the Timuay.
7. DONGGU/DHANGGU BUWAYA This type of marriage when a man of high status in society like a
woman but the woman does know about it. Initially, the man will talk with the TIMUAY and plan
for a forced wedding. They will set the time, prepare the food announce to the people that the
man is engaged with the woman although this is not true. Together with his armed men, the
man will go to the house of the women with the food and will forced the woman to marry him.
An information will then reach to the tribal leader who will come to identified family with the
tribal guards (MAGALONG) and settle the issue.

8. PARENTAL CONSENT -The parents of the man will go to the house of the lady and tell her
parents that their children will marry. If both parties agreed, marriage will follow.

9. Butbut/Galas -The man will ask the hands of the lady for marriage by giving precious items and
jewelry or gold coins to the parents of the lady. The parents will advise the man to bring his
parents at an appointed time to discuss this matter with the presence of the tribal leaders who
will invited by the parents of the lady.

10. Buha Baba-A lady and a man who are engage will tell the tribal leader either independently or
together about their relationship. The tribal leader will then call the presence of their parents to
discuss about marriage

11. Bhaya Bagelal- The tribal leader has the prerogative to arrange marriage according to his/her
perception. IF a man is interested of a woman, he will just inform the tribal leader of his
intention. If the tribal leader sees that the two will become a good and successful couple, he
will call the lady and the parents and immediately marriage ceremony.

12. Mhengihap/Monalaga- A man who is madly in love of a woman will secretly go to house of the
lady in the wee hour of the night. His intention is to get inside the mosquito net where the lady
sleep and express his feelings. Most often the lady will be frightened and make necessary noise
which would awaken her parents. Then the parents will talk with man who, in turn, will tell
them that he is very much interested to marry their daughter. The tribal leader will then arrange
the marriage. If the lady will not approve, the man will penalized for his act and no marriage
shall take place. This happen only when the lady has not been touched physically by the man.