There are four motives for misbehavior: gaining attention, exercising power, exacting revenge, and

displaying inadequacy.

Gaining Attention
Behaviors: showing off, asking irrelevant questions, being disruptive, overly eager to please
Their Incorrect Assumption:  I must have constant affirmation to prove my worth.
They Make Their Teachers Feel: Annoyed
How to Respond:
In a private conversation, ask: Do you know why you ____?   Could it be that you want me to notice
you/do something for you/want to be special to the group?  
Point out that the student’s behavior is not getting them to their goal because it is bothering others.
Suggest appropriate ways for the student to get noticed or to become special to the group.  Giving
students attention for inappropriate behavior encourages the behavior.  When possible, ignore the
negative behavior and but be on the lookout, and give praise for positive behavior.  Help students
realize that they don’t need constant affirmation to confirm their worth.

Exercising Power
Behaviors: Arguing, throwing tantrums, lying, being stubborn and disobedient
Their Incorrect Assumption: If I can’t get the attention I want, I will seek control to affirm my
worth.
They Make Their Teachers Feel: Threatened
How to Respond:
In a private conversation, ask:  Do you know why you ____?  Could it be that you want to be the
boss/insist on doing what you want to do?
Point out how the student’s behavior may cause others to lose respect for them which puts them
farther from being an important part of the group.  Suggest positive ways for the student to be a
leader.  Engaging in a fight with a power-seeking student is not productive.  Stepping back from the
authoritarian role makes it so that the student has no one to fight with.  Not that you would turn over
your class to the power-hungry student, but phrases like, “You’re right, I can’t make you,” may come
in handy.  Keep in mind the things you can control and those that you can’t.  You can’t physically
make a student move somewhere or do something, but you can contact their parents later and come
up with a consequence.  You can withhold a privilege.  Sometimes a student’s power-seeking
behavior can be assuaged by giving them a leadership role.
Exacting Revenge
Behavior: Getting even for perceived injustices, destroying property, insulting others publicly
Their Incorrect Assumption: I can’t get attention or power in the group.  This is unfair and I am
justified in getting even.
They Make Their Teachers Feel: Hurt
How to Respond:
In a private conversation, ask: Do you know why you ___?  Could it be that you wanted to punish
me/get even with me/show me how much you hated something I did?
Revenge-seeking students hurt others because they are hurt.  Causing them more pain only provokes
more revenge-seeking behavior.  Offer understanding and assistance.  Encourage other students not
to retaliate when the revenge-seeker misbehaves.   Give students a chance to  express what has hurt
them.  Help them find a more productive way to deal with the situation that has caused them pain.
Point out how their behaviors are pushing them away from the support of the group.

Displaying Inadequacy
Behavior: giving up, striving to be left alone, avoiding participation
Their Incorrect Assumption: I can’t achieve a sense of self-worth from attention, power-seeking, or
revenge.  I will retain the little self-worth I feel by pushing others away and avoiding any kind of
public display.
They Make Teachers Feel: Helpless
How to Respond:
In a private conversation, ask: Do you know why you ___?  Could it be that you want to be left alone
because you think you can’t ___/because you can’t be on top/because you want me to stop asking
you to do something?
Tell the student they are alright as they are.  Remove pressure by being less critical.  Remove
competition and give the student time to achieve at their own speed.  Provide an abundance of
support and encouragement.  Coax higher performing peers to accept the student displaying
inadequacy.

Conclusion
It’s all definitely easier said than done.  Teachers don’t have a lot of time to be playing psychologist.
But if you can understand the misbehavior of one or two of your challenging students and help them
see the disconnect between their behavior and their goals, you may have set them on a much more
positive path in life.  If nothing else, knowing these behavior motivations has helped me to take
student misbehavior less personally.  One more skill set for your magical box of teacher tools.