The Fruit of Agony

January 17, 2019, the day were officially deployed to our cooperating school. It
was a mixed emotion that time. I felt excited for that I will be able to experience new
things in life, but this excitement anchors fear. Fear that I will not be a good student
teacher to my cooperating teacher and especially to my students. Fear that I will be a
disappointment to everyone; that I will never be good enough.

"You can do it! ". The only phrase I was able to say the first time I stepped my
feet inside the room of my first class. I was very very nervous that time. But as I set my
feet I set aside my fear. I held my composure and I told my shaking self that "everything
is going to be alright". As expected, at the end of that day it ended so well, the way I
wish for it to be.

My days as an intern at Alaminos Integrated National High school was both hot
and cold, a roller coaster; full of obstacles. The more I stay in that school the more I
learn, not just about the teaching stuffs itself, but most importantly on how to
communicate with the people around me.

I had a very great experience during my internship in that school. I was able to
meet different types of people. I solved different problems I encountered on my own. I
was also very blessed that I had a very understanding, caring, supportive and hands-on
cooperating teacher who guided me all through out the internship. I was able to mentor
my students during some of their competition; it was overwhelming though.

My former students there were equally understanding, caring and supportive, as

they helped me during my local demonstration teaching up to my final demonstration.
They never let me down. They became one of my inspiration to strive hard and always
give my best shot. I must admit that everyday is not christmas, we face different
challenges, we felt tired, drained and broken. I can still remember the sleepless nights
and no-rest days, just to finish and make sure that our final demonstration will not be a
disappointment.

Not everyone in the field will treat you the you treat them or the way you wanted
to be treated, there are people who will nice and there are people who will make you
feel that you're not welcome in that place. But, since we are just "newbies" and "interns"
we can't do anything, but to stay nice and humble, as we could be.

After all the sleepless nights and no-rest days, the day had come. The final
judgment as an intern, the time you will be judged according from what you have
learned from your cooperating teacher and from all the experiences during the
internship. At first, I was very very nervous, not because I am not confident with my
students nor with my instructional aids, but I have doubts with my own skills. I am
frightened that I will not be able to give my best, that I will just end up disappointed. But,
because of God's grace, through the help of my cooperating teacher, and through the
support of my students, I made it; I was not failure, this time. I won!

After my final demonstration, I was overwhelmed with so much gratitude. I was

praised by my teachers. I was and always be happy that after all the struggles, after all
the sacrifices, finally my sleepless night, days with no rest and hardworks finally blooms
a beautiful fruit.

Above all the experiences I had, still, one of the most remarkable was seeing
your students marching on the aisle, facing the people with their sweet and victorious
smile as they receive their awards and diploma. That part of my internship experience is
what I treat as the fruit of my hardworks, tears and sweat. Seeing them up on the stage
makes me believe that I deserve to be here and I am not a disappointment.