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SAN PEDRO COLLEGE

12 C Guzman St., Davao City

Reaction Paper on a Documentary Video:

“Why I’m Done Trying to be a Man Enough”

In Partial Fulfillment for the Midterm Project in

Purposive Communication

Submitted to

VIVIEN GRACE A. JUBAHIB, LPT, Phd, FRIEdr

Professor

Submitted by

MARVIN BATASININ
Student
 INTRODUCTION

It is typical for a man to live in standards of being strong, brave, & tough. This

actor is challenging everything we were told about manhood. It’s fair to say men are

confused and bewildered by life, by women and by masculinity. Today, too many men

relate to the touching but true saying that they are pretending. Hiding their feelings,

faking being strong, happy, or powerful. Men don’t know what or who to be any more.

How many men suffer in secret, or in silence?

An outspoken feminist, Justin Baldoni, has been working hard in reaching out

men all over the world to have an open discussion them to redefine masculinity and to

end toxic masculinity. In a TED Talk, entitled “Why I’m Done Trying To Be Man

Enough,” Baldoni bravely explored the idea imposed upon him when he was a child and

how it affected him in his adulthood. In his description of what being a man was for him

before was on the lens of a toxic masculinity. Moreover, it emphasized the

characteristics of a man for acting: tough, shirtless men with perfectly chiselled jawlines

that never cry and will always dominate a relationship against women.

FINDINGS

Universalism vs. Particularism

Masculinity in a universal aspect was discussed as something stereotypical in a

sense of being dominant, being too inexpressive of one’s emotions or vulnerability

because it is what the society have imposed about men that when they pass through
the line, they will be labelled as too feminine, thus portraying judgment. It is a

predominant perspective among men all over the world. Although Baldoni suggested

that during his childhood, his father taught him to be human. He said “while my dad may

not have taught me how to use my hands, he did teach me how to use my heart, and to

me that makes him more a man than anything else.” This certainly provides

‘Particularism’ as their relationship as a father-son showed a different meaning of being

a man.

Diffused Relationship

Baldoni was reaching out to other men about his study on masculinity which

seeks out for the diffused culture. He asked for how other men perceive masculinity and

its fragile aspect. He also made some social experiments where he posted photos

online that talks about the stereotypical men do with themselves such as posting

workout videos and such things. He later observed that men engaged with him more

when posts things like men stuff but when he posts things about his wife or about love,

it is like men disappears like a bubble.

Achievement vs. Ascription

Men tend to be social puppets. Why? They stick to be what the society tells them

who they are which is to be dominant and brave all the time. This is what reflected to

Justin as he grew up. He was more inclined with the people perceived him as a person,

more like a man. He had a reputation as a man which definitely gave him the pressure

to be ‘man’ everytime.
Neutral Culture

It is true that both genders try to mask their emotions sometimes but it is a

different topic when toxic masculinity comes in. How? When women suppress their

emotions they’re encouraged to talk it out and become open and vulnerable with their

friends. Men, on the other hand, are often silenced by remarks that make them feel as if

expressing their emotions makes them ‘soft’ or ‘feminine’. This urges them to hide their

emotions and be brave when they are not, which suggest about fragile masculinity

DISCUSSION

The American Psychological Association’s Guidelines Psychological Practice

with Boys and Men (2019), stated that raising boys into “traditional” masculinity is

harmful to their health and wellness. It is highly affecting a man’s mental, emotional,

relational, and spiritual health and it will affect other’s well being too. It is because of

their perceived thought of being men that will become too violent at some ways, it will

surely affect them and other people too. The ASA also stated “When half the population

gets trained to block emotions, they lose the ability for empathy.” This talks about men

being taught to be inexpressive.

For Thompson (2019), he believed that being a man could mean a million

different things to a million different people. Thinking of it that there’s no absolute way to

“be a man” enough, is an idea we, as a society, could do well to remember.

 CONCLUSION

The TED Talk generally summarizes a man’s journey towards his exploration to a

wider context of masculinity. Justin Baldoni openly described and explained his own

story of toxic masculinity which created a fine line between toxic and healthy

masculinity. I can say that during his TED Talk, he only proved that fragile masculinity

does really exist and that it has to end because it will not only hurt other people, but it

will also hurt oneself.

REFERENCES

Baldoni, J (2020, January 5) Retrieved from https://upliftconnect.com/why-im-done-trying-to-be-man-

enough/

Retrieved from https://menscenter.org/toxic-masculinity/

Retrieved from https://www.dressember.org/.blog/justinbaldonitedtalk