Edward Scissorhands

Scene 1

MIKE: Give me the remote. Your show is over. Ninja Turtles is about
to start.

GWEN: Ahh! That show drives me crazy. It’s so silly.

MIKE: You are silly! And your show was boring. Now give it to me!

GWEN: No. It’s for babies. Are you a baby?

MIKE: You are the baby.

GWEN: Grandma, Mike said I’m a baby.

OLD KIM:: Both of those shows are a bunch of nonsense anyway. They
sure don’t tell stories like they did when I was young.

GWEN: Can you tell us a story Grandma?

MIKE: Oh no! Please don’t. She only knows stories about knitting and
stuff.

OLD KIM:: Oh, When you have been alive for as long as I have, you
learn about much more than that.

GWEN: Like what grandma?

OLD KIM: Hmm. Like the story about the mansion on top of the
mountain.

MIKE: It’s haunted.

GWEN: Tell us about it!

OLD KIM: Oh, that's a long story, sweetheart.

GWEN: Please!

OLD KIM: Well, all right. Let's see. I guess it would have to start
with scissors.

GWEN: Scissors?

OLD KIM: Well, there are all kinds of scissors. And once there was
even a man who had scissors for hands.

GWEN: A man?

OLD KIM: Yes.

GWEN: Hand, scissors?

OLD KIM: No Scissorhands. A long time ago, an inventor lived in that
mansion. He made many things, I suppose. He also created a man. He
gave him inside, a heart, a brain, everything. Well, almost
everything. You see, the inventor was very old. He died before he
got to finish the man he invented. So the man was left by himself,
incomplete and all alone.

MIKE: He didn't have a name?

OLD KIM: Of course, he had a name. His name was Edward.

(Music: Scissorhands theme)

Scene 2

(Peg is walking door to door selling Avon)

PEG: Avon Calling! Good Morning Joyce! Today I have two new kinds of
lipstick. The first is Winsome Wahini which would look charming on
you.

JOYCE: No thanks. Bye Peg.

PEG: Well, if you don’t like that colour I also have Bahenie Bliss
which is…

Joyce: Why! Peg. Have you gone blind? Can’t you see there is a car
in my driveway?

Peg: Oh, yes.

Joyce: Well, I’m surprised you don’t realise that that means I’m
busy.

(Joyce shuts door with a bang. Peg knocks on Maggie’s door but she
doesn’t answer. Peg sees Edward’s home and walks towards it.)

PEG: Oh, it's so beautiful. Hello? Hello? Avon calling! oh my.

(Peg walks inside)

Hello, I'm Peg Boggs. I'm your local Avon representative.

Hello. I'm sorry to barge in like this. But you don't have any
reason to be afraid. This is some huge house, isn't it?

(Peg sees Edwards in the corner)

Hello. Hello. Why are you hiding back there? You don't have to hide
from me. I'm Peg Boggs. I'm your local Avon representative and I'm
as harmless as cherry pie.
 (Peg sees Edward's scissor hands)

Oh my! I can see that I've disturbed you. How stupid of me! I'll
just be going now.

EDWARD: Don't go.

PEG: Oh my! What happened to you?

EDWARD: I'm not finished.

PEG: Uh, put those down. Don't come any closer. Just please... Those
are your hands? Those are your hands. What happened to you? Where
are your parents? Hum... Your mother? Your father?

EDWARD: He didn't wake up.

PEG: Are you alone? Do you live up here all by yourself? What
happened to your face? Hum, you know, I won't hurt you. But at the
very least let me give you a good astringent and this will help to
prevent infection. What's your name?

EDWARD: Edward.

PEG: Edward? I think you should just come home with me.

(Peg walks offstage as Margie watches from her window)

MARGIE: Hi, it's Margie. Listen, I was standing outside and Peg
walked by, she was with somebody.

JOYCE: Did you get a good look?

MARGIE: No, did she say anything to you, about having a guest?

JOYCE: She didn't say anything. She rang my doorbell this morning.

(Simon approaches Margie and Joyce)

SIMON: I just saw this strange guy walking with Peg. I didn't get a
very good look at him. He looked kind of pale.

MARGIE: Well we wouldn’t be good neighbours if we didn’t welcome

Peg’s new guest.

JOYCE: I also wouldn’t be good neighbour if I didn’t look my best.

SIMON: Are you seriously going to dress up for the pale weirdo that
Peg is running around with? Can you believe this Margie? Where are
you going?

MARGIE:I left my.. I need to check the… thing… about…

Scene 3

(Peg stands outside her door with Edward)

PEG: Here we go, dear. This is our house. And you can just go right
in and make yourself right at home. OK?

(Peg has misplaced her Keys)

Oh. Silly me. I think I locked my keys inside. I think we will need
to wait until Bill gets home, he has the other set.

(Edward opens the lock using a blade on his hand)

Edward, that is amazing. Not even a scratch. So, here we are. This
is the living room and back there, the bedrooms. You want to see the
pictures? All right. Well, this is my husband, Bill. He's a bowling
champion. Do you know what bowling is? Bowling? Well, here they are
down at the lake, fishing. I think Kim looks a little glum Because
they didn't catch anything that day. Kim is my daughter. Here she is
all dressed up the junior prom. She's a senior now. I can't believe
it. She's camping in the mountains with some friends, but she'll be
back in a few days and you can meet her then. Isn't she beautiful?
That's my family.

Now, I will see what we can find to wear. You know what? I think I
have some of Bill's old clothes in here.

This is perfect. Here. These should just fit you.

(phone rings)

Oh, no, no. Don't be alarmed. That's just a phone. Now you can put
these on. I'll be right with you.

(Bill walks in and stares at Edward, Peg continues talking from

other room)

PEG: Edward I want you to stay for dinner tonight. Bill will be
joining us soon, I know you two will get along just fine.

(Peg returns to the living room)

Oh! You are here. Bill this is Edward. I met Edward today at work.
He lives in the big mansion at the end of the street. Edward will be
staying with us for dinner.

EDWARD: Dinner?

PEG: He will be wearing some of your clothes. Kevin set the table.
Bill, keep Edward company while I am gone.

(Peg walks out of the room. Edward tries to put on the clothes)
BILL: This must be quite a change for you, Ed.

PEG: I think he prefers Edward.

BILL: Sure. So what have you been doing up there in that big old
place? I bet the view must be spectacular, Ed. See all the way to
the ocean?

EDWARD: Sometimes.

PEG: Sit down. Bill, could I have the salt and pepper? Thank you.
Would you like some butter for your bread? Great.

EDWARD: Thank you.

(Doorbell rings, Peg answers)

JOYCE: Hi! You are all hiding in there like a bunch of old hermit
crabs.

PEG: Hi, Joyce, Margie… Everyone.

MARGIE: Shame on you, keeping your unusual guest all to yourself. We

think that's mighty selfish of you.

PEG: No, it, it's... things have just been a little hectic around
here. That's all.

SIMON: Oh, that was so sweet of you to want to correct the

situation.

JOYCE: Well, you do intend to show your guest hospitality

by introducing him to your friend, don't you? I bought the coleslaw.

(Joyce, Sasha, Margie, and George walk inside uninvited)

JOYCE: And I have the ambrosia salad.

PEG: What? Ah... bill.

GEORGE: Hi, Bill. How are you doing?

(George reaches to shake Edward’s hand)

Whoa! That's a heck of handshake.

PEG: Are you ok? Do you want something to eat?

MARGIE: He's so... different completely different.

JOYCE: No kidding. Mysterious.

GEORGE: (to Edward)Eddie. We were thinking. We would like to invite
you to our card game on Friday night. Would you like that? Only
thing is, you can't cut. I’m just kidding. Don’t let anybody tell
you have a handicap. I have my own infirmity. I took some shrapnel
during the war, and ever since then my leg can’t feel a thing. Never
did me a bit of harm.

JOYCE: Who's handicapped? My goodness! Don't be ridiculous. You're

not handicapped. You're... What do they call that? Exceptional. My
name's Joyce. And I noticed that you have not tasted any of the
ambrosia salad that I made especially for you. Allow me.

(Joyce helps Edward to eat)

MARGIE: You must try this. It's my mother's recipe. Let him chew.

SIMON: Those scissors look kind of sharp. What do you need them for?

PEG: Oh, Edward is a fantastic gardener. You should see what he has
done to the trees around his home up there.

SIMON: You are a gardener?

MARGIE: Oh, Edward. Please work on my garden.

JOYCE: Sorry, Margie. But he's promised to come to my house first.

Isn’t that right Eddie?

EDWARD: I have?

JOYCE: see.

BILL: Okay, everybody. Grab your plates. There is enough for

everybody!

(As everyone gathers around Bill, Edward remembers when the inventor
taught him about etiquette.)

INVENTOR: Let us pretend we're in the drawing room, and the hostess
is serving tea "Now, many numerous little questions confront us"
"Should the man rise" "When he accepts his cup of tea?" "May lump
sugar be taken with the things?"

EDWARD: Hmm, no.

INVENTOR: Is it good form to accept a second cup? "Now, should the

napkin be entirely unfolded." Oh should the center crease be allowed
to remain? It is so easy to commit embarrassing blunders. Mmm yes,
boring. Let us switch to, Um... To some poetry, Hmm?"

“There was an old man from the Cape, who made himself garments of
crepe. When asked: will they tear? He replied: Here and there, but
they keep such a beautiful shape!" That's right. Go ahead, smile.
It's funny. That's right.
PEG: Edward. You can sleep in Kim’s room. She won’t be using it for
the next few days and I am sure she won’t mind. You rest here, it’s
been a long day.

Scene 4

(Kim returning home from camping)

JIM: My father still refuses to buy me a car. I need to find a way

to get that money.

KIM: Quiet. I should have called my parents to say I was coming back
early.

JIM: Did you?

KIM: No. So keep your voice down. I don’t want to wake everyone up.

JIM: So what if you do? They can go back to sleep.

KIM: My father wakes up early.

JIM: Well we could have been back hours ago if I had the car.

KIM: Do you only think only think about yourself.

JIM: I said we. What? Whatever. See you tomorrow!

KIM: Shhh!

(Kim quietly goes inside and discovers Edward in her room)

KIM: Dad! There's somebody in my room. Go. Look. A murderer with an

axe. He even tried to kill me.

BILL: It's all right.

PEG: Honey, that was Edward.

KIM: Who is he? What are you talking about?

PEG: Edward's come to live with us. There's nothing to be upset

about. It's okay.

BILL: What's the matter? What's wrong? She gets you nervous? You've
been closed up in a way in that castle too long. You don't know
anything about the wonderful world of teen-age girls. They're all
crazy. Have some. It will straighten that out.

EDWARD: What is it?

BILL: Lemonade. Good. Isn't it?

KIM: Mom, why did you have to bring him in here?

PEG: Oh, honey, I couldn't have left him there all alone. You would
have done the same thing.

KIM: Why does he have to stay here?

PEG: Oh, my goodness, Kim. I'm surprised at you. He can't help the
way he is. Have a little sympathy.

KIM: I do have a little sympathy.

PEG: Then let's just say hello and shake his hand.

KIM: Shake his hand?

PEG: Well, not literally. Goodness, you scared him half to death.

KIM: I scared him to death?

PEG: Hi, Bill. Edward, I just wanted you two to have a proper
introduction. Edward, this is our daughter Kim. Kim, this is Edward
who's going to live with us.

KIM: Hi!

(Edward falls on the floor)

Scene 5

(Edward is cutting Pegs hair)

PEG: Edward, is there nothing you can’t do? Can you also trim Kim’s
hair?

KIM: It’s ok. I booked an appointment at the salon.

PEG: Don’t be silly. You have Edward right here. Isn’t that right
Bill?

BILL: Listen to your mother. Let Edward cut your hair.

KIM: Ok, just a trim. Is it OK?

EDWARD: It’s ok.

JIM: Good morning!

PEG: Jim, you are here so early. Kim told me your mom had her
kitchen done?

JIM: Yeah, my dad bought himself a bunch of expensive new toys.

PEG: My goodness! I wonder what it's like to be that rich.

JIM: No, they keep things pretty much locked up. My father has his
own room for his stuff to make sure I can't use it. He's so cheap he
won't help me buy my own car.

BILL: Well, he probably wants you to pay for it yourself. I agree

with him. It builds character. You'll appreciate it more. Speaking
of money, I understand you are not going to charge for your
gardening, Edward?

PEG: Now, Bill. Joyce and Margie will make him cookies today.

BILL: Sweetheart, you can't buy the necessities of life with

cookies. You can't buy car with cookies. Am I right, Jim?

JIM: Ah, that's true, sir. You can't.

BILL: I heard Edward also picked the lock on our door yesterday.
From what Peg says, he did a fine job. Now anyone else would need to
pay a locksmith $80 or even $100 for such a service. So there is
another way Edward can earn money.

PEG: I just received A call from the show Midday with Brian O’Keith
on Chanel 7. They would like to do an interview with Edward. Isn’t
that exciting? Of course that’s if you would like to Edward. What do
you think Edward? Would you like to be on TV?

EDWARD: OK

(Jim pulls Kim off the chair and out the room)

JIM: did you hear that?

KIM: What? About the TV show?

JIM: No. What your father said about that freak.

KIM: Don’t say that about him.

JIM: He can use those things on his hands to open locks. He is a

walking skeleton key. He can open the lock to my father’s room.

KIM: You can’t steal from your own family.

JIM: Look. My parents have insurance. Okay? And all it will cost
them is a little hassle. That's about it. In a week my dad will have
new and better everything.

KIM: We can't.

JIM: Look. There's a guy who will give us cash for the stuff.

KIM: Jim, I don't want to. Why can't you just do it?

JIM: Because my father keeps the damn room locked, and we need
Edward to get us in.
KIM: Why can't you take the key like when he's sleeping or
something?

JIM: Listen. If my family bought that creep to my house I wouldn’t

need to ask you for this favour. Don't you want us to have our own
car?

KIM: Jim, you are being unfair.

JIM: You are protecting that freak instead of helping me. Look, He
will do anything for you.

KIM: What do you mean? That's not true.

JIM: Oh, no? Look at the way he is looking at you. Ask him. There
isn't any other way.

(Jim walks away)

Scene 6

TV HOST: That was quite a story. I can’t imagine what it was like
living alone for all of those years without any friends. Well, you
have friends now Edward. You have a whole audience of friends and
let’s take some questions from them now? Yeah, get way over. Stand
right up. What is your question for Edward?

WOMAN 1: What's been the best part of your new life here in town?

EDWARD: The friends I've made.

TV HOST: Any other questions?

WOMAN 2: Have you ever thought of having corrective surgery or

prosthetics? I know a doctor that might be able to help you.

EDWARD: I'd like to meet him.

TV HOST: We'll give that name after the show. Thank you very much.
That's very nice. Anyone else? Yes, stand right up.

WOMAN 2: But if you had regular hands you'd be like everyone else.

EDWARD: Yes, I know.

TV HOST: I think he'd like that.

WOMAN 2: Then no one would think you're special. You wouldn't be on

TV or anything.

PEG: No matter what, Edward will always special.

TV HOST: More questions? Stand right up.

WOMAN 1: I have another question! Do you have a girl friend?

TV HOST: How about it? Is there some special lady in your life?
That’s a tough question. Maybe Edward some time to think about it.
We'll take a break and be right back after these messages.

JIM: Now you see what I am talking about. The dude is in love. He
will do anything for you. Ask him now.

KIM: I can’t.

JIM: Hey Eddie! Kim wants to know what you are doing tonight.

KIM: Jim don’t.

JIM: She needs your help with something. It’s really important.

EDWARD: What is it Kim?

Scene 7

(Robbing Jim’s House)

KIM: Jim, the lights are on.

JIM: Those go on automatically. They've gone for the weekend. I told

you.

KIM: You turned off the alarm. Am I right?

JIM: Yes, everything, come on. Let's go. Come on.

KIM: I can't believe this is happening.

EDWARD: This person stole from you Kim?

JIM: Keep your voice down. I told you he stole it from her. Right?

EDWARD: His parents will make him give it back.

JIM: Listen, I've already tried that. The guy's parents are like he
is. Okay? Now, you told Kim you'd do this. Well, come on. Let's go.

(Edward picks the lock and the door opens, but when he steps into
the room the alarm works)

JIM: My father must have had it wired separately. Come on.

KIM: No, Jim. We can't just leave him here.

(Police arrive)

OFFICER ALLEN: I know you're in there. I’m in the process of

deactivating the system so that you can come out.
KIM: Jim, it's your house. They can't arrest you for setting off
your own alarm. We'll just tell them we were breaking in.

JIM: I'm not going back there. Okay?

KIM: We have to go back.

JIM: No, because my father will prosecute.

KIM: His own son?

JIM: Especially his own son. If Edward tells, I'll kill him.

OFFICER ALLEN: Put your hands high in the air so I can see them. Put
your hands up!

He's got something in his hands. Looks like knives.

Drop your weapon I repeat. Drop your weapon. I'll ask you one more
time and this is your last warning. Drop your weapon. If you fail to
do so, I will have to open fire. Don't make me do that, please. Drop
your weapons. Drop them. Now.

Looks like we got a psycho.

(Neighbours gather)

JOYCE: Wait! Please wait! We know him!

MARGIE: Those are his hands!

OFFICER ALLEN: His hands?

SIMON: He has no hands. Only scissors.

OFFICER ALLEN: Alright, You’re coming to the station mister.

PEG: He lives with me. Is he ok? What’s going on?

OFFICER ALLEN: We'll have to hold him at the station overnight.

PEG: All night?

OFFICER ALLEN: Pick him up in the morning.

JOYCE: All along I felt in my gut. There was something wrong with
him.

MARGIE: It could have been my house.

SIMON: It could have been any of our houses.

Scene 8

(At the police station)

OFFICER ALLEN: Will he be ok, Doc?

PSYCHOLOGIST: The years in spent isolation have not equipped him

with the tools necessary to judge right from wrong. He's had no
context. He's been completely without guidance. Furthermore his
work, the garden sculptures indicate that he's a highly imaginative.

OFFICER ALLEN: Character?

PSYCHOLOGIST: It seems clear that his awareness of what we call

reality is radically underdeveloped.

OFFICER ALLEN: But will he be alright out there?

PSYCHOLOGIST: Oh yeah. I think he’ll be fine.

Scene 9

(Edward returns home)

KIM: They didn't hurt you, did they? Were you scared? I tried to
make Jim go back, but you can't make Jim do anything. Thank you for
not telling them about me.

EDWARD: You are welcome.

KIM: It must have been awful when they told you whose house it was.

EDWARD: I knew it was Jim's house.

KIM: You did?

EDWARD: Yes.

KIM: Well, then why did you do it?

EDWARD: Because you asked me to.

(Music starts but is interrupted by Jim calling out for Kim.)

KIM: Don't.

JIM: What's the matter with you? When you are going to stop? I did
what I could. My old man felt sorry for him, otherwise he'd still be
in jail. What more do you want from me?

KIM: You could tell the truth.

JIM: So could you. You were there, too.

KIM: It wasn't my idea. You know I didn't want to do it.

JIM: But you did do it. I don't get why you care anyway.

EDWARD: Are you ok Kim?

JIM: Get the hell out of here. Get the hell out! Go. Freak!

KIM: Why did you do that?

JIM: He hurt you.

KIM: No, he did not and you know it.

JIM: Are you nuts? I just saw him.

KIM: Jim. I don't love you anymore. I just want you to go. Okay?
Just go!

JIM: Are you serious? I'm going to lose you to that? He isn't even
human.

KIM: Just get out of here. Okay? Just go! Dad, did you see where
Edward went?

BILL: Well. I don't know. He just walked down the street.

KIM: Well, we have to go find him, mom?

PEG: Is your hand ok?

KIM: It’s fine. It’s only a scratch. We need to find him! I’m ok.

GEORGE: It’s not ok. I saw what happened from across the street.
First he breaks into that house and now his using those scissors to
cut people up. I'm calling the police!

PEG: Your father and I will find him. You go inside and take care of
your hand, wait here in case he comes back.

KIM: Please find him mom!

(Bill and Peg leave to search for Edward, Kim paces up and down)

KIM: Edward?

EDWARD: Are you okay?

KIM: Yes, are you okay?

EDWARD: Where's everybody?

KIM: Out looking for you. Hold me.

EDWARD: I can't.
 (Sound of window smashing and neighbours shouting outside)

JIM: Hey! I told you to stay away from her!

(Jim pushes Edward to the ground and attacks him with a bat)

KIM: Stop it Jim! You are going to kill him! Let Him Go!

GEORGE: The police are on their way.

MARGIE: What is happening?

GEORGE: Edward stabbed Kim.

SIMON: Yes. What do you expect from a guy with scissors for hands?

KIM: Let him go Jim!

OFFICER ALLEN: Get up! Get off him Jim.

JIM: He cut Kim. You should be arresting the freak.

OFFICER ALEN: Take Edward home now! I will deal with him later.

JOYCE: You are just going to let him go?

MAGGIE: He is dangerous! Jim was protecting us.

(Jim takes the police officers gun and shoots in the direction of
Edward and Kim. Edward shields Kim. Edward stabs Jim with his
scissors.)

GEORGE: Surround him. He is a savage. I have not seen such a brutal

attack since my days in the military. You smell that? I said do you
smell that? That is napalm, son! Nothing else in the world smells
like that. I love the smell of Napalm in the morning! Rally the
troops! We can’t let him get away.

JOYCE: He’s a murderer.

KIM: Let him go!

(Kim and Edward escape the mob and return to Edwards castle)

EDWARD: Are you ok?

KIM: He shot you.

EDWARD: It doesn’t hurt.

KIM: You need to go now Edward.

EDWARD: Will I see you again?

KIM: No. It’s not safe here for you anymore. Please go.

Edward: Why?

KIM: Because I’m asking you to.

SIMON: Where is he? Tell him to come out here now.

MARGIE: He needs to pay for this!

JOYCE: Justice must be done.

KIM: He’s dead! He bled to death from the bullet wounds. You can go
and see for yourselves.

(Mob return home)

OLD KIM: She never saw him again. Not after that night.

GRANDDAUGHTER: How do you know?

OLD KIM: Because I was there.

GRANDDAUGHTER: You could have gone up there. You still could go.

OLD KIM: No, sweetheart. I'm an old woman now. I want him remember
me the way as I was.