Quietson, Kyla Mae J.

APSY 1-3

Assignment #1

1. Don’t multitask

- It means that you should focus your attention on the person you are having a
conversation with. Don’t let your mind be distracted while you are having a
conversation with a person, so that you will be able to pay attention and not miss
a single detail of what that person is talking about. Pay attention so that you can
leave a good first impression on the other person. It is also rude when you don’t
give your full attention to the person you are conversing with.

2. Don’t pontificate

- Be open to other ideas and opinions because we all have our own perspective
and opinion about different kinds of things. Expect to hear others' opinions and
debate about how you and the other person have different opinions and
perspectives. Pontification only exposes our opinions and judgements about
certain things. It favors what matters to the speaker over what matters to the
other person or audience.

3. Use open ended questions

- Make the other person think so that you can hear a more interesting response.
Let the other person describe what they thought and feel about that certain
experience because in that way you would also get a glimpse of the personality
and character of the person. It is also a way of lengthening the conversation
because when you ask close-ended questions it is just like you already want to
end the conversation.

4. Go with the flow

- By going with the flow of the conversation you are going to sense how the person
would want to continue the conversation. Would he/she want to start a new topic
or would they want you to share your thoughts and opinion. It would give you the
opportunity to adapt to the aura of how your conversation with the other person is
going.

5. If you don’t know say that you don’t know

- People would sense it if you are lying so it is much better to be open and honest
about the words that you are saying. Being honest in a conversation makes
 people like you and trust you because they know that you are expressing yourself
to them because of your honesty. It is okay not to know everything because we
are all just human beings.

6. Don’t equate your experience with theirs

- All our experiences about different things are different so we should not say to
others that we felt the same way because we all have our different perspective of
our experiences in life. All we can do is to give the other person space to express
their thoughts and feelings. All we can do is just listen and support each other.

7. Try not to repeat yourself

- It would make the other person bored because they just keep hearing the same
thing over and over again. When you realize that you are already rambling, try to
turn the conversation back to them. Let them speak about their experiences in a
more detailed way.

8. Stay out of the weeds

- Don’t focus on the details of what you're saying but tell them more about what
happened because it would make the other person impatient if you keep on trying
to remember the specific details of that experience. They don’t care about the
details, they care about you.

9. Listen

- Listen to the other person in order to understand him/her, not just because you
want to reply. Our focus is to listen to the response of the other person and
understand so that we can get to know them better. Our brain can process what
we can hear way quicker than how fast someone can speak. Our minds are able
to fill in the blanks of what the other person is saying.

10. Be brief

- Be straight forward and get to the point of what you are going to say. Don’t
explain too much because you are already giving them unnecessary information
that they do not need to know. Just say your part then let them have the spotlight
and speak about himself.

11. Aim for understanding

- Try understanding what the other person is trying to say not just to show respect
but to also build a bond and a relationship with that person. In having a
 conversation with a person our aim should be to be able to understand that
person not because we just want to get something from him or her.

12. Practice listening

- Be attentive and focus on the person's story so that we can get to know them
better. Listen and don’t get distracted with the little things running around your
mind or the little things that are happening around you. We listen to understand
so we would not understand that person if we don’t listen.

13. Learn how to compromise

- It does not mean that you are sacrificing your morals and values but you just
want to be in the middle of the conversation. You just want to be fair to the other
person because the conversation is not just about you but about the two of you in
that conversation.

14. Respect the other person, their thoughts and emotions

- Respecting their thoughts and emotions so that we can build a nice and healthy
relationship with that person. Listening and being attentive to them while they
speak is a sign of respect because they would know that we are really interested
and we are understanding the story that they are sharing with us.

15. Be honest and open

- Being honest and open allows us to show other people who we truly are. It also
allows us to gin the trust of the other people because they sense that we are
being honest to them. This would also encourage them to be more open and
honest with us.

Rating from 1 (lowest) to 10 (highnest)

10. Listen
9. Be honest and open
8. Go with the flow
7. Learn how to compromise
6. Be brief
5. If you don’t know say you don’t know
4. Don’t pontificate
3. Stay out of the weeds
2. Try not to repeat yourself
1. Don’t multitask