Learn English with TED Talks May 2020

How to make stress your friend | Kelly

McGonigal
Warm Up
1.1 Answer one of the following questions which uses
vocabulary from the video. Explain your answer.
1. Tell us about a time when you, or someone you know, tried to
help in a situation but ended up doing more harm than good.
2. What advice would you give to someone who is coping with
a difficult boss, parent, or teacher? Tell us about your own
experience.
3. Do you think it is inevitable that Ukraine with join the E.U.?
4. What is something you’re craving to do since the quarantine
started?
 Key Vocabulary
1.2 Review the key words/phrases/idioms from the video.
To do more harm than good (idiom): to make a problem
worse, rather than making it better, usually in the process of
trying to help someone or solve some problem.
My grandfather thought the medication his doctor gave him was
doing more harm than good, so he stopped taking it. John is a
nice guy and always happy to help but often ends up doing more
harm than good.
To cope with something (phrase): to deal successfully with a
difficult situation. Igor has a unique way of coping with stress:
he eats garlic which he says helps him keep calm.
Margaret has been coping with depression her whole life and
says it has sometimes been a difficult struggle.
To refrain (always followed by from. Verb): to stop oneself
from doing something.
He thought his boss’s idea was rather stupid, but John
refrained himself from saying so.
I’m on a diet now and refraining from eating sugar or drinking
alcohol.

To freak out (phrasal verb): If someone freaks out, or if

something freaks them out, they suddenly feel extremely
surprised, upset, angry, or confused. The girls freaked out when
they saw Christiano Rinaldo at the airport and begged him for
an autograph.
Anna was freaked out by her neighbour’s dog who came
running out of the dark and barked angrily at her.

To confess (verb): If someone confesses to doing something,

they admit that they did it.
Anatoly confessed he had stopped attending university classes
to his parents after their many questions.
The little boy confessed to his mother that he was the one who
broke her vase.
 You Should Know
unbeknownst
adjective
un·be·knownst | \ ˌən-bi-ˈnōn(t)st \
variants: or less commonly unbeknown \ ˌən-bi-ˈnōn \
Definition of unbeknownst
1: happening or existing without the knowledge of someone specified
—usually used with to unbeknownst to us rumours were flying

Unbeknownst derives from beknown, an obsolete

synonym of known. But for a word with a
straightforward history, unbeknownst and its older
and less common variant unbeknown. Despite
widespread use (including appearances in the
writings of Charles Dickens, A.E. Housman, and
E.B. White), the two words have been called
everything from "obsolete" to "vulgar." Evidence,
however, shows that both can be considered
standard.
- Unbeknownst to me, my mother was planning a party
- Upon their return back to the city, unbeknownst to Mia,
David had told all of their friends to meet them for
celebratory drinks.
- John left California for Las Vegas and, unbeknownst to
his gang, was planning to commit more crimes.
 Heart as an Idiom
In the video, Kelly McGonigal often refers to the effect stress
has upon the human heart. The English language refers to the
heart in dozens of idioms. Let’s look at two commonly used
idioms involving the heart.

To have a charge of heart - to change one’s attitude or

decision, usually from negative to positive. I had a change of
heart at the last minute and gave the beggar some money. Since I talked
to you last, I have had a change of heart. I now approve of your
marrying Sam.
The heart of the matter - the central, most important part of an
issue, situation or a problem. And now we come to the heart of the
matter. Who is going to pay for all this? Over the course of this trial, the
prosecution intends to get to the heart of the matter regarding this
company's illegal financial dealings.
 Vocabulary Matching
1.3 Place the proper vocabulary from the video into the
sentences below. Some tense changes might be necessary.
Impromptu Cope with Freak out Pretend
Reach out Resilient Crave Refrain
Confess Inevitable Fine-tune Unbeknownst
1. Andrew was craving___________ a Big Mac sandwich so he put on his shoes
and walked over to the McDonald’s near his flat.
2. Vadim was walking in Akademmistechko when he saw someone he didn’t want
to speak to, so he turned his head and pretended____________ not to see them.
3. Andy thought his wife’s new jeans looked terrible on her but knew she was
sensitive about her appearance and decided to refrain_____________ from telling
her so.
4. Ilya heard Yuliya was going through a very difficult time in her life, so he made
several attempts to reach out__________ to her and ask if he could help in any
way.
5. When Nick moved from Texas to Ukraine, he had to try and cope
with__________ a new language, culture, and interesting babushki.
6. After the September 11, 2001 attacks on New York, many local political leaders
and police officials were forced to give impromptu___________ speeches and
interviews.
7. At first the man denied any involvement in the robbery, but after several hours
of interrogation by police, he finally confessed_________.
8. The main-stream media and liberals in the West often freaked out___________
every time American President Donald Trump gives a speech or posts a new tweet.
9. After being completely defeated in their debate against Harvard, the Yale debate
team showed how resilient___________ they really were by fine-
tuning___________ their arguments and later defeating the Oxford debate team.
10. When the president of the company retired, Dima thought it was
inevitable________ that he would get promoted and was completely shocked when
he was passed over.
11. Unbeknownst_________ to his boss, Dima began searching the internet for a
new job.

Learn English with TED Talks May 2020

True or False
1.4 Are these statements, according to the video, true or false?
1. Oxytocin is an illegal drug that causes people to hallucinate. F
2. Stress deaths killed more people than skin cancer, HIV/AIDS
and homicide. T
3. People who spent time caring for others showed a more
stress-related increase in dying. F
 Learn English with TED Talks May 2020

General Video Review: How to make

stress your friend | Kelly McGonigal

1.5 Answer the following questions and be ready to discuss

them in class.
1. What’s confession does Kelly make to the audience and what
does she think has been doing more harm than good? Which
study made her rethink what and what made her freak out?
What did it get Kelly to wondering?

2. How does Kelly explain to the audience how this works?

What is unbeknownst to the audience and what does she want
them to do in increments of what? How might we normally
interpret what and explain what Kelly says if we viewed them
differently? What happened to participants who learned to view
the stress response as helpful?

3. What happens in a typical stress response? What happened

when the participants viewed their response as helpful? What
can it be the difference between? What does Kelly no longer
want to get rid of and what does she want you to do next time
your heart is pounding?

4. What is oxytocin and what does it make you crave and what
does it enhance? According to Kelly, what do people not
understand about oxytocin? Explain how it works and what
happens when life is difficult? What does oxytocin also act on
and what is Kelly’s favourite effect. What does she find
amazing?
5. Kelly wants to finish up by telling us about what? What’s the
bad news? What happened to people who spent time caring for
others? What is not inevitable? How can we create courage and
resilience? What is the profound statement?

6. What did you think of this TED Talk? Anything you strongly
agree or disagree with? Finish one of the following sentences:
1. A few ways I cope with stress is _____
2. What really stresses me out is ______
3. A situation that has recently stressed me out is ____
4. A positive effect stress has had on me is _____
5. Ways I can make my life less stressful is _____