How Thoughts Create Emotions And Stuff

Should emotions be trusted?

COMMON BELIEF: You should always trust your emotions.

COMMON BELIEF: Feelings are irrational and can’t be trusted.

So which is it? They’re BOTH wrong.

Emotions and feelings are neither right nor wrong, accurate or not. Emotions are simply your body’s
reaction to what you are THINKING, whether you’re thinking on purpose or not. Your belief system and
other unconscious thoughts are happening on autopilot all the time, and often cause emotions. That’s
why sometimes you have NO IDEA why you feel the way you do.

So here’s an example of why emotions are never either right or wrong, because they’re just reacting to
your thoughts…

Think about something don’t have (that you want). You may think you’re unhappy because you don’t have
it, but that’s not true. You are unhappy because of the THOUGHT of not having it.

Have you ever been happy while not having it?

If you didn’t have it but didn’t care, would you be unhappy?

If you still didn’t have it but were doing something that kept you from thinking about it, such as going
down a roller coaster, would you be unhappy about it?

You see, not having want doesn’t make you feel bad. Thinking about it does.

Where do emotions come from?

In almost all cases, it is our thoughts that create our emotions. Sometimes our unconscious mind and
senses are picking up ques from our environment that trigger emotions, such as reading a person’s body
language or facial expression and having an automatic emotional response or sensing danger and having
an automatic fear response. However, the rest of the time it is NOT the outside world or the situation that
causes our emotional reaction. It is the mental filter that the situation passes through—aka, our
interpretation—that then causes our emotional reaction to the situation.

Situation -> Interpretation (thought) -> Emotion

In psychology this process is addressed in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). CBT is empirically tested
and used in therapy, life coaching, and organizational psychology. CBT uses strategies to interrupt
unhealthy thought patterns and use positive self-talk and imagery to redirect the patient’s thinking in
order to change their mood.

https://www.skillsyouneed.com/ps/personal-swot-analysis.html
https://transformationacademy.com/2019/10/thoughts-101-how-thoughts-create-emotions-and-stuff/
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/insight-therapy/201009/emotional-acceptance-why-feeling-bad-is-good
https://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newTMC_05_1.htm
The key to understand here is that CBT provides evidence that we have control over our thoughts. And if
we have control over our thoughts, we can control our emotions. It may be challenging to do this, but it
is a skill that can be learned. Here’s the process:

Recognize Emotion -> Identify Thought -> Change Thought -> Change Emotional

Focusing on something else (distraction): When you’re experiencing an undesirable emotion and identify
that the cause is what you are thinking about, your first line of defense is to literally just change the subject
of your thinking, just like you would change the subject of a conversation with another person if it isn’t
going anywhere good. Sometimes the best way to feel better is to focus, instead, on something that feels
better. Stop thinking about the thoughts that are triggering your emotions and the emotions stop.
Thinking about something positive makes you feel good. This is great, and it works, but it doesn’t always
work. Sometimes the thoughts aren’t going to go away. They’re strong enough you can’t distract yourself
from them. The situation you’re judging in your mind is in your face and persistent. In that situation, you
can reach for a new PERSPECTIVE that helps you think differently about the situation, and therefore feel
better.

Finding a new perspective: When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.
Even in the same situation or with the same facts, if you change your viewpoint your experience of the
situation will change. Here is an example: a man was visiting a friend’s house and went into the kitchen
to make some tea. He didn’t find a tea kettle, and so poured water into a glass coffee carafe and placed it
on the gas stove. He returned to the living room and minute later smelled something burning. He returned
and found that the handle of the carafe had caught fire. He quickly put the fire out. He apologized to his
friend and was feeling both embarrassed and guilty. His friend, however, was laughing and complemented
him on his “fireman” skills. Same situation, different perspectives—and the result was completely
different emotional responses.

What Are Thoughts & Emotions?

Thoughts are mental cognitions—our ideas, opinions, and beliefs about ourselves and the world around
us. They include the perspectives we bring to any situation or experience that color our point of view (for
better, worse, or neutral).

An example of a long-lived thought is an attitude, which develops as thoughts are repeated over and over
and reinforced.

While thoughts are shaped by life experiences, genetics, and education, they are generally under
conscious control. In other words, if you are aware of your thoughts and attitudes, you can choose to
change them.

Emotional Acceptance: Why Feeling Bad is Good

According to recent psychological research (by David Barlow,

Steven Hayes and others) one of the main causes of many
psychological problems is the habit of emotional avoidance. This
may seem surprising, because the attempt to avoid negative
emotions appears to be a reasonable thing. After all, negative
emotions don't feel good, and they are often linked in our minds
https://www.skillsyouneed.com/ps/personal-swot-analysis.html
https://transformationacademy.com/2019/10/thoughts-101-how-thoughts-create-emotions-and-stuff/
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/insight-therapy/201009/emotional-acceptance-why-feeling-bad-is-good
https://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newTMC_05_1.htm
to negative events that we want to avoid or forget. Moreover, we are all familiar with the momentary
relief that avoidance can provide. If the thought of speaking up upsets me, then I can make myself feel
better by deciding not to speak. Indeed, avoidance is an effective solution in the short term. Long term,
however, it becomes a bigger problem than whatever was being avoided in the first place. And life, if
you're at all lucky, is a long term proposition.

Avoiding a negative emotion buys you short term gain at the price of long term pain. When you avoid the
short term discomfort of a negative emotion, you resemble the person who under stress decides to drink.
It "works," and the next day, when bad feelings come, he drinks again. So far so good, in the short term.
In the long run, however, that person will develop a bigger problem (addiction), in addition to the
unresolved issues he had avoided by drinking.

Personal SWOT Analysis

SWOT analysis is the examination of your (or your organization’s) situation by looking at Strengths,
Weaknesses, Opportunities and Threats. It has been used by businesses for many years as a strategic
planning tool, because it helps to give you an all-round view of the organization.

SWOT analysis are however, equally useful on a personal level as a way to identify areas for development,
and as part of career discussions. Its simple format, and easy-to-apply structure mean that it can be used
very easily without support.

A quick summary of SWOT analysis

SWOT analysis is a way of looking at your situation by identifying:

Strengths, or those areas where you have an advantage over others, or some unique resources to exploit;

Weaknesses, or areas where you or your organization may be weaker than others, and may find that
others can do better than you;

Opportunities, or possibilities that you can take advantage of to help you achieve your goals and
ambitions; and

Threats, or things that may prevent you or your organization from making a profit or achieving your goals.

There is more about the process in our page on SWOT Analysis.

Personal SWOT Analysis

A personal SWOT analysis is very similar to one for business, except that you focus on yourself and your
goals.

Our page on SWOT analysis explains that one of the advantages of a SWOT analysis is that the framework
is very flexible. You can therefore use it in a wide variety of circumstances.

A personal SWOT analysis, however, may be more useful if you focus on a specific goal or problem that
you want to address. This is because we all have a number of very diverse goals. The skills and attributes
that may help us towards one goal may be irrelevant, or even a weakness, in another context. A threat in
one context could be unimportant in another.

https://www.skillsyouneed.com/ps/personal-swot-analysis.html
https://transformationacademy.com/2019/10/thoughts-101-how-thoughts-create-emotions-and-stuff/
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/insight-therapy/201009/emotional-acceptance-why-feeling-bad-is-good
https://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newTMC_05_1.htm
The SWOT Process

1. Identify the goal that you want to achieve

It is important to be as specific as possible. Be clear about timing, that is, when you want to achieve your
goal, and also how you will know that you have achieved it (your success criteria).

If you have not yet identified any goals, you may find it helpful to read our page on Setting Personal Goals.

Thinking specifically about that goal:

2. Identify the personal strengths that will help you to achieve it, and the weaknesses that could prevent
you.

It is often helpful to consider knowledge, skills, experience, resources and support that you have available.
If you list these headings separately, you will remember to consider them all.

These areas are generally internal, that is, they relate to you personally, and the resources and skills that
are available to you. They are, therefore, things that are generally under your control.

3. Identify any personal opportunities that could enable you to achieve the goal, and also that you will
be able to take advantage of when you have achieved it

Opportunities are generally external, relating to the environment and those around you, rather than you
yourself. They include things like:

Promotions and financial incentives; and

Events that are likely to happen at work or outside, such as someone going on maternity leave or
sabbatical, that might mean you have a chance to do something new.

In identifying opportunities that might open up as a result of achieving your goal, consider both short- and
long-term benefits.

4. Identify any threats

These are external things and events that are worrying you, or that might happen and prevent you from
either achieving your goals, or taking advantage of the benefits.

5. Review and prioritize

Finally, as always with development activities, and anything that looks like strategic thinking, it is a good
idea to review your analysis. Ask yourself:

Is this recognizably me?

Is there anything that I have forgotten?

And finally:

Which areas are most important in each of the four categories in the analysis?

https://www.skillsyouneed.com/ps/personal-swot-analysis.html
https://transformationacademy.com/2019/10/thoughts-101-how-thoughts-create-emotions-and-stuff/
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/insight-therapy/201009/emotional-acceptance-why-feeling-bad-is-good
https://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newTMC_05_1.htm
Try to highlight one, or at most two, things from each of strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats
that you think will be most important in achieving (or preventing you from achieving) your goal. Those
areas will be your priorities for action.

A personal SWOT analysis can be done on your own.

However, it is worth bearing in mind that a business SWOT analysis is stronger if it draws on evidence
from outside the organization, such as independent market research, or views from customers.

In the same way, a personal SWOT analysis is likely to be more powerful if you draw on the views of others.

If, for example, you are part of a learning group at work, or at college or university, you can agree to go
through the process for each other in turn. You can even gather evidence from each other’s colleagues to
support the analysis.

If you are doing this by yourself, you may want to ask friends and colleagues their views on your strengths
and weaknesses, or ask them to comment on your first draft analysis and suggest additions.

A Personal SWOT Example

What would a personal SWOT assessment look like? Review this SWOT analysis for Carol, an advertising
manager.

Strengths

 I'm very creative. I often impress clients with a new perspective on their brands.

 I communicate well with my clients and team.

 I have the ability to ask key questions to find just the right marketing angle.

 I'm completely committed to the success of a client's brand.

Weaknesses

 I have a strong, compulsive need to do things quickly and remove them from my "to do" list, and
sometimes the quality of my work suffers as a result.

 This same need to get things done also causes me stress when I have too many tasks.

 I get nervous when presenting ideas to clients, and this fear of public speaking often takes the
passion out of my presentations.

Opportunities

 One of our major competitors has developed a reputation for treating their smaller clients poorly.

 I'm attending a major marketing conference next month. This will allow for strategic networking,
and also offer some great training seminars.

 Our art director will go on maternity leave soon. Covering her duties while she's away would be a
great career development opportunity for me.

https://www.skillsyouneed.com/ps/personal-swot-analysis.html
https://transformationacademy.com/2019/10/thoughts-101-how-thoughts-create-emotions-and-stuff/
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/insight-therapy/201009/emotional-acceptance-why-feeling-bad-is-good
https://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newTMC_05_1.htm
Threats

 Simon, one of my colleagues, is a much stronger speaker than I am, and he's competing with me
for the art director position.

 Due to recent staff shortages, I'm often overworked, and this negatively impacts my creativity.

 The current economic climate has resulted in slow growth for the marketing industry. Many firms
have laid off staff members, and our company is considering further cutbacks.

As a result of performing this analysis, Carol takes the bold step of approaching her colleague Simon about
the art director's maternity leave. Carol proposes that both she and Simon cover the job's duties, working
together and each using his or her strengths. To her surprise, Simon likes the idea. He knows he presents
very well, but he admits that he's usually impressed by Carol's creative ideas, which he feels are far better
than most of his.

By working as a team, they have a chance to make their smaller clients feel even better about the service
they're getting. This takes advantage of their competitor's weakness in this area.

Key Points

A SWOT matrix is a framework for analyzing your strengths and weaknesses as well as the opportunities
and threats that you face. This helps you focus on your strengths, minimize your weaknesses, and take
the greatest possible advantage of opportunities available to you.

https://www.skillsyouneed.com/ps/personal-swot-analysis.html
https://transformationacademy.com/2019/10/thoughts-101-how-thoughts-create-emotions-and-stuff/
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/insight-therapy/201009/emotional-acceptance-why-feeling-bad-is-good
https://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newTMC_05_1.htm