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  • Activity 6 Business Communication Graded

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    Iya Flores
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    This document provides instructions for a business communication activity that involves revising three sample emails to make them more appropriate and professional. For the first email, between a nurse and patient, the tone is revised to be less impatient. For the second email, between coworkers, the tone is made less emotional and casual. And for the third email involving a password, personal details are removed and the language is made more appropriate. Students are asked to rewrite each email, and then evaluate what was wrong with the originals and how their revisions addressed the issues. The goal is to demonstrate understanding of proper tones and professionalism in business communication.

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    Business communication understanding

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    This document provides instructions for a business communication activity that involves revising three sample emails to make them more appropriate and professional. For the first email, between a nurse and patient, the tone is revised to be less impatient. For the second email, between coworkers, the tone is made less emotional and casual. And for the third email involving a password, personal details are removed and the language is made more appropriate. Students are asked to rewrite each email, and then evaluate what was wrong with the originals and how their revisions addressed the issues. The goal is to demonstrate understanding of proper tones and professionalism in business communication.

    Copyright:

    © All Rights Reserved
    Download as DOC, PDF, TXT or read online from Scribd
    Flag for inappropriate content
    32 views4 pages

    Activity 6 Business Communication Graded

    Uploaded by

    Iya Flores
    This document provides instructions for a business communication activity that involves revising three sample emails to make them more appropriate and professional. For the first email, between a nurse and patient, the tone is revised to be less impatient. For the second email, between coworkers, the tone is made less emotional and casual. And for the third email involving a password, personal details are removed and the language is made more appropriate. Students are asked to rewrite each email, and then evaluate what was wrong with the originals and how their revisions addressed the issues. The goal is to demonstrate understanding of proper tones and professionalism in business communication.

    Copyright:

    © All Rights Reserved
    Download as DOC, PDF, TXT or read online from Scribd
    Flag for inappropriate content
    of 4

    Business Communication

    SCORE:
    Far Eastern University
    General Education Office

    NAME: SECTION/SCHEDULE: DATE:

    PROGRAM/MAJOR: ACTIVITY # 1 FACULTY:


    Business Communication –
    Email

    GENERAL INSTRUCTIONS: Read the three letters carefully and do what is asked in each question.
    Remember to take note of the rubrics for your essay and email. They are included in the Week 7 folder.

    BEGIN HERE:

    I. MESSAGE TONES. It is important to know how we communicate mirrors the kind of person we are.
    In the business setting, a message tone is a reflection of the writer and it affects how the reader will
    perceive the message. Business writing must have the proper tone to ensure it is effective. If the tone
    leaves the content unclear, confusing or, worst case, offensive, the reader won’t be able to properly
    absorb or react to the text (Cullen, 2018).

    Letter #1: Revise the email below to eliminate the negative tone and attitude of impatience with the
    patient.

    Dear Mrs. Cruz,

    As we have repeatedly discussed at least five times already on the phone with you and even on emails you
    sent occasionally, we can no longer provide you the remote assistance of constantly providing you
    reminders on the dosages of your medicines. For the last time, always refer to the prescriptions and notes
    provided to you when you were discharged. There are eight medicines that you have to take everyday.
    You already have the details about these medicines. After all, we hope you have already remembered
    everything since you have already called us regularly in the past days.

    Much as we want to offer remote assistance, we also have current patients who need physical care and
    attention. We hope that by this time you have already remembered everything. With all due respect, we
    hope you do not misunderstand this message. We are just busy at the moment because of the huge
    number of patients currently confined in the hospital.

    Thanks,

    Juan Dela Cruz


    Nurse

    1) Your revised version of the email communication (10pts)

    GED0111: Purposive Communication Page 1


    Business Communication

    2. What do you think is the content of the email sent by Mrs. Cruz to Nurse Juan? (5pts)

    3. How do you feel about the email reply of Nurse Juan? Why did you feel that way? What can be the
    implication of message tones to the professional therapeutic relationship? (5pts)

    Letter #2: Revise the letter and make it professional as it is too emotional and too casual.

    John,
    What happened today between you and Mark????? I’m expecting a professional behavior from you both
    and what you have done does not qualify as that!!!!!!!!!! Please explain!!!!
    Regards,
    Simon

    GED0111: Purposive Communication Page 2


    Business Communication

    1. Your revised version of the email communication (10pts)

    2. What is wrong with the original email? How did you make it right? (5pts)

    Letter #3: Revise the letter and make it professional as it is too personal and unappropriate in language.

    Hi,
    The password to my Paypal account is m1ccu54. Please login tomorrow and make the payment I asked
    you to. You should find all the information you need inside the account.
    Call me if you run into any trouble.
    John

    1. Your revised version of the email communication (10pts)

    GED0111: Purposive Communication Page 3


    Business Communication

    2. What is wrong with the original email? How did you make it right? (5 pts)

    GED0111: Purposive Communication Page 4

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