Title: Sea Slumber by Sarah Rose Linas 12 HUMSS

Sea Slumber
Keep calm. Be still. Wait.
If there’s something I learned while I’m here floating right on the middle of the
ocean, it’s to stay still and wait. But to wait for what? For help? That’s funny.
I’ve lived my life all alone and helpless.
I’ve never looked at the cerulean skies like this before; like in extreme, explicit
detail. I gazed at the feathery wisps of ivory clouds fleeting past me every now and then
plus the occasional grey seagulls that flew by while staring at me, the strange floating
figure right in the midst of nowhere.
I must’ve looked like a sight.
I tried to look at my watch but I fear creating sudden movements. What if
suddenly I’m no longer buoyant then I suddenly sink into the depths of this
unfathomable, cryptic ocean? I have no idea how long I’ve been here. I don’t mind it
really; though I’m getting bored. But what choice do I have? Flip myself, gawk at the
murky blue-green waters and panic myself? What kind of psycho does that?
It’s a good thing I have years of experience floating on waters. Ever since I was a
kid, the sea became my cradle; holding my head and legs up high and sang me sweet
lullabies as the blankets of seawater caress my sun-kissed skin.
You see, I grew up near the shore but I never learned how to swim. Unlike my
brothers who were trained to become professional ones, I’ve learned I can still survive on
these waters without wasting any strength. Go with the flow took on a whole new
meaning for me as I spent my afternoons floating away into the sunset.
Oh, but my brothers. Maverick and Gabriel were dear to me; they were always
there to save me when I would suddenly wake up during my floating spells and find
myself too stout to reach the seafloor. I would’ve lost hope a thousand times already and
let myself go under if it weren’t for them.
I told you, I could never swim.
That’s why my mother and father always shunned me. I mean, what kind of child
grows up near the shore but never learned how to swim?
“If you learned how to swim, you could also be an award-winning swimmer. Put
that long legs and arms to good use”, my mom told me once when I was lying flat on my
bed, reading one of my Toni Maguire books again.
Title: Sea Slumber by Sarah Rose Linas 12 HUMSS

“I could be. But I’m not that”, was my go-to answer which would lead her to slam
the door behind her.
“May God bless your words you filthy-mouthed demon of a child!” she would
scream along with other enchantments I would never understand.
-
“If you tried swimming, you could lose a few pounds. You could be much
healthier when you’re skinnier”.
“If you tried swimming, you could have a stunning figure. You could even be a
model”.
People would recite this to me every time they would be given a chance.
Funny how they concluded that swimming could lead to great things. If that was
the case, maybe all people should learn how to swim?
Also, since when did skinny equate to health and beauty?
I would’ve loved to answer this to them but my father taught me to stay quiet. So
I did. For 18 years, all I did was kept quiet. Even when our house no longer served me
comfort and wandering fingers were the ones caressing the crevices of my skin, I never
said a word.
I never even complained until my bed became too soft. It felt sodden and grimy
from the endless tears and human liquids that has conceded in its hems. It reeks of an
aroma unbeknownst to my younger self. Even now, I knew where it came from but I
never realized how harrowing that scent was for me.
No matter how many times I changed the sheets or no matter how long I laid the
pillows to dry out in the sun. It never felt like home.
“Dad, I don’t like my pillows. It’s too cold”, I complained to my father once. It
was ten in the evening. I was around 11, almost 12.
“You’re too young to call me dad. I told you, call me daddy. Now come here, let
daddy warm you”.
I never complained about my pillows again.
That’s why I found comfort in floating on waters. It became a new bed, a home for
me even just for a few hours. You should try lying down in the waters as you would
when you sleep, let the sea breeze brush up your senses and lighten up your body. Some
Title: Sea Slumber by Sarah Rose Linas 12 HUMSS

would say it’s cold, but it never did for me. It was warm. Like homely warm, only I never
really knew what home really meant, only that in stories, they say that it’s supposed to be
comfortably warm.
Yet, there was a time in my life that I felt freezing cold. I could clutch my wrists
and swear its ice instead of flesh. I would love to cry but it becomes comical to me
because no matter how hard I try, I can’t. So I resorted to vomiting to relieve my nerves. I
would own the bathroom all to myself the whole hour after meal, and nobody really
fussed about it until they said I looked so skinny.
Wow, I thought. Guess I never really needed swimming after all.
I loved the gush inside my mouth as my fingers tickled my uvula, creating spasms
and flooding of bitter-sweet combination of food and bile. Knowing these won’t go my
back fat that would shrivel when I sit or to my thighs that would stop me from wearing
that new jean shorts I bought the last time we went thrift shopping felt absolutely
satisfying.
“Dang, you look so different”.
“Wow, you’ve changed! You look so thin”.
“How did you do that? Show us your secrets!”
All I could do was smile at them.
Smile. That’s how I fell in love with him. With Carlos. He had the prettiest smile
in school but he always swore that mine was the most beautiful. I didn’t believe him that
time because my teeth were decalcifying each day because of my frequent bathroom
rituals. It didn’t faze him though. He just loved looking at me, touching my fingers then
eventually locking his into mine.
Time with him was surreal. Whenever we hung out on the white sands of the
beach just behind the school, I would gaze at the panoramic horizon and he would just
ogle at me lovingly. His piercing ebony eyes decorated by his long, thick lashes would
flutter every time I would stare right at him. His wavy dark locks would blow against the
breeze and we would laugh for no particular reason. Some may find it creepy, but he was
too gorgeous to be weird. Maybe we were both weird. That’s what we loved about each
other.
Maybe it was kind of strange because when we first met too because then, staring
at him would be the most normal thing a student can do. The way he flicks his finger
when writing on the blackboard, the way his voice booms across the room conveying
Title: Sea Slumber by Sarah Rose Linas 12 HUMSS

dominance and the way he whispers my last name every time he passes by me conjures
up thoughts late at night that not even my diary wouldn’t even want to hear. I mean, what
would you learn if you wouldn’t look at the one teaching you?
I never actually knew anything only that he shrivels his nose before he enters the
room. His left foot enters first before the other, then he would stare at me as he puts his
black Wayfair backpack on the floor, unpack his silver MacBook, with a huge CRF
engraved on its back, and unto his mahogany desk that had a dent on the right corner. He
would stare at me until the class settled down.
He remembered me because I was always punctual. My parents remembered him
because I had the highest marks on his class.
He actually taught us swimming in our PE.
An appalling coincidence I know, I thought to myself as I hover on the sea’s
surfaces, reminiscing him. He always said I looked like a natural floating on the waters,
not minding the chaos that surrounded me. He liked the fact that I took my time. I never
learned backstrokes in his class but I sure mastered the art of back floats.
“Your kid’s performance in my class is astounding!” he said to my father while
showing him my score results in the last swimming activity. His eye caught mine as he
saw me eavesdropping from behind an indoor bush near them. He winked at me.
“Well, my other children were great as well. Swimming really runs in our blood”,
Daddy beamed.
Blood is thicker than water but I must say, blood exudes a foul smell rather than
the latter.
“You’re welcome to have dinner at our house later anytime Mr. Flinch. A friend of
our child is also a friend of the family, is what we would always say”, my dad nudged
Carlos on the side.
“Uhh...Let me check my schedule sir fir-“.
“Nonsense! You know my wife makes the meanest ham and potatoes you could
ever imagine!”
“I guess if that’s the case, it would be a shame to miss it”.
I froze.
Keep calm. Be still. Wait.
Title: Sea Slumber by Sarah Rose Linas 12 HUMSS

If there’s something I learned while I stood there for like eons, it’s to shut my
mouth and act normal.
Teachers do go to their students’ family dinners, right?
At eight in the evening he was already there, talking to my mother as if it was the
most usual thing in the world.
“There you are my dear”, my mom called out to me. “Do me a favor and season
this meat while I go out to buy us some potatoes. Also, entertain our guest okay? I’ll be
right back”.
My legs were shaking; my chest was heaving. I slowly approached the sink while
Carlos looked at me with that shine in his eyes. I was afraid even to make the tiniest shoe
squeak even though no one would bother if they heard. I hated how he dressed himself
tonight. He looked good at school with his white tee and casual pants. Now, he resembles
my father with this midnight blue coat and a necktie. He even smells like him. I felt
nothing but anxiety and fear.
I grabbed the frozen pork leg and tried to wash the ice off. Though the cold was
stabbing my skin, I persistently rubbed it in order to speed up the process.
I won’t eat tonight. I’d go to my room. I’ll say I have homework. I won’t eat
tonight. I’d go to…
He gripped my chest and hugged me from the back. I tried to break free from his
tight clutch but he was too strong and I’m too frail.
“Please stop. Please, my brothers or my father will see us.”
“You like this right?” he whispered menacingly as he rubbed himself against me.
“You’ve always told me how kinky and adventurous you would like our relationship to
be as though our situation wasn’t enough. Wouldn’t you like it though? Seeing your
family see you at this state yeah hmm? Yeah, you like this right? Hmm yeah?” He
moaned softly as I felt tears perforating my eyes.
I never saw him like that before. I never saw it coming. Our house must’ve been
cursed. It creates monsters out of people. One no one ever expected.
The pork leg I had in my hand was still rock solid. I never took a second thought
as I swung my hand, ducked and smashed it on his head.
Title: Sea Slumber by Sarah Rose Linas 12 HUMSS

He fell down with a loud thud against our wooden floor. I looked at what I was
holding. The flesh was frozen to the core it could be compared to a sledgehammer. There
was a piece of skin stuck to it like a dangling post-it note.
I took it once again to the sink and massaged it with some spices: salt, pepper,
cayenne, garlic powder and another that I didn’t know the name. I placed it on the
Christmas tray and slid it inside the oven.
Oh Carlos, I thought to myself as I stared at his infirm body. I pity Mrs. Flinch
and your little Flinches. I loved you enough to not curse your family with your presence.
I dragged him to outside quietly, fearing any of my brothers or father would come
downstairs, and out the shore where the waters meets the sand- the coastline that
witnessed our love. I kissed his pared forehead.
Sleep soundly, I whispered.
I surveyed the seawaters as these fast-paced waves hauled his body and eventually
be consumed by the eigengrau void beyond. It must’ve been a few seconds or several
minutes. I don’t know. With no one to love, time didn’t mean anything to me anymore.
I strolled into our pavements and the aroma of roast pork greeted my senses. It
doesn’t smell right but at least it smells like meat. The wind streamed across my face and
I felt goosebumps ridden all over me.
Then I slowly grabbed the door handle as I remembered that I forgot one thing. It
was also the moment that my mom shrieked from inside the kitchen. I ran across the hall
towards her in the swiftest speed one could ever imagine.
“You forgot the soy sauce!” she screamed at me with her dagger eyes that I knew
could’ve murdered me if looks could kill.
“Now it will never taste right! Where the hell have you been? And where is Mr.
Flinch?”
“I felt weird earlier. So I took a stroll. He was sitting here when I left him”.
“God, I told you to entertain him. Not leave him alone. You never do anything
right do you? Go now. Call your brothers and father while I prepare the potatoes. This
meat is nearly done. Mr. Flinch could probably find his way back here”.
I doubt that.
I went to them and we sat down at the dinner table.
Title: Sea Slumber by Sarah Rose Linas 12 HUMSS

Ten minutes. Fifteen minutes. Thirty minutes have passed by.

“There must’ve been an emergency. Maybe he’d call us later to inform us. Now
let’s eat before this pig could decide to eat us instead”, my father announced as he
grabbed a knife and start cutting into the chunk of meat.
“Grace first, my dear”, my mom said.
“Grace”.
Maverick chomped on the meat bone while Gabriel munched on the potatoes. I
swirled the sludge on my plate creating waves or maybe they were valleys. I bit into the
savory-sweet carbs my mom made but I never ate the meat.
I gazed as my father forked the thin crisp that fell on the tray. It’s much paler than
the pigskin we had earlier but he slid it into his mouth. He savored it and made these
weird mmm sounds.
“Goodness darling! That was a nice piece of skin right there! Delish!” he said. He
even tried imitating a chef’s kiss.
It was the last dinner I had with my family.
Now I’m here in the middle of the ocean. Floating away from them. My reality
was a metaphor that actually was occurring most of my life. It’s probably been a month
or so since that night. I never counted. I just saw how the sun moved from west to east.
Or was it east to west? I honestly even don’t care.
The police came to our house the next day during breakfast, saying they found a
body floating next to our house. His wife said that we were his destination the night
before.
My mom offered them last night’s dinner and they gladly accepted.
The last thing I heard was them talking about how Carlos’ skull was smashed to
pieces and even had his forehead peeled.
“I wonder what weapon was used. Only a psychopathic per-”, my mother’s voice
echoed across the room.
I never knew what happened next because I went and locked the bathroom door,
escaped through the window and ran towards the beach. I was spending most of my time
in the bath then; they probably didn’t even notice I was gone.
Title: Sea Slumber by Sarah Rose Linas 12 HUMSS

All I know now is that I’m floating in these waters where the remnants of our love
resided. I shall cherish that. In these waters, I shall be near his soul.
Ships, yachts, boats and even helicopters discerned me as that strange floating
figure on the sea in the middle of nowhere. I would pretend to sleep hoping they’d think I
was a corpse and avoid me. Sometimes I would wave at them say I don’t need help.
Maybe I’d rest once in a while and eat but then I’d go back and float again.
Never in my lifetime would I go back to that wretched, cursed house who brings
out the worst in everyone.
Keep calm. Be still. Wait.
If there’s something I learned while living on the lands, is that no one will ever get
me. Amongst all of their sons, I was the disgrace in the family. Amongst all of his
students, he chose me- the boy who can only float.
Boredom? That’s only fleeting.
At least now, not knowing how to swim will let me live my life. At least now, I
could control what I eat and be skinny. At least now, my mother won’t be disappointed of
me. At least now, my father’s prying hands would never reach my body. At least now, the
sea loves me.

Word Count: 2947