Scribd Te Odio!!!!!!!!!

1
00:00:09,430 --> 00:00:10,606
Oh, shit, I almost parked.

2
00:00:10,630 --> 00:00:13,030
Hey, Morty, hold on,
wat-watch this.

3
00:00:20,170 --> 00:00:21,346
Uh-huh.

4
00:00:21,370 --> 00:00:22,556
Well, I thought it was cool.

5
00:00:22,580 --> 00:00:24,216
So.
We should be in and out.

6
00:00:24,240 --> 00:00:25,756
Simple exchange,
not even really an adventure.

7
00:00:25,780 --> 00:00:27,826
And if anything goes wrong...
Which it won't...

8
00:00:27,850 --> 00:00:29,696
Jump into the same vat of acid
I jump into.

9
00:00:29,720 --> 00:00:31,296
Okay.
Wait... Wait, what?

10
00:00:31,320 --> 00:00:32,966
Wha-What vat of acid?
What, Morty!

11
00:00:32,990 --> 00:00:34,226
Close the door.

12
00:00:34,250 --> 00:00:35,696
I pre-scouted this location

13
00:00:35,720 --> 00:00:37,366
and placed a vat of fake acid
amongst the real ones.
14
00:00:37,390 --> 00:00:38,636
It's got air hoses

15
00:00:38,660 --> 00:00:40,236
and a compartment of bones
at the bottom.

16
00:00:40,260 --> 00:00:42,036
If things go wrong,
which they won't,

17
00:00:42,060 --> 00:00:43,376
we jump into the vat of acid,

18
00:00:43,400 --> 00:00:44,836
and I'll release the bones,
they'll float up...

19
00:00:44,860 --> 00:00:46,646
What is this face you're making?

20
00:00:46,670 --> 00:00:47,976
Aren't you an inventor?

21
00:00:48,000 --> 00:00:49,976
Yeah, what part of a fake acid
vat with built-in air supply

22
00:00:50,000 --> 00:00:52,446
and quick-release bones
isn't inventive enough for you,

23
00:00:52,470 --> 00:00:54,716
and when did my job become
pitching you ideas?

24
00:00:54,740 --> 00:00:56,716
Alright!
Let's just do this.

25
00:00:56,740 --> 00:00:59,116
I have English homework.
You're still learning English?

26
00:00:59,140 --> 00:01:00,926
That's the language you speak.

27
00:01:00,950 --> 00:01:02,880
How dumb are you?
28
00:01:05,820 --> 00:01:08,196
Interesting choice
of meeting place, Rick.

29
00:01:08,220 --> 00:01:09,866
You like it?
My grandson had notes.

30
00:01:09,890 --> 00:01:12,190
Come on. Show him
the crystals, Morty.

31
00:01:17,360 --> 00:01:18,936
I'll make lots of money
with these.

32
00:01:18,960 --> 00:01:21,546
I'll make lots of those with
these. - Well. Those are fake.

33
00:01:21,570 --> 00:01:23,616
Oh, Jesus [bleep] Christ. Come on.
You gotta be kidding me. Seriously?

34
00:01:23,640 --> 00:01:26,016
<i>You brought fake crystals
and a gun?</i>

35
00:01:26,040 --> 00:01:27,686
Beats real crystals and no gun.

36
00:01:27,710 --> 00:01:30,756
Okay, but does anything beat
fake crystals and a fake arm?

37
00:01:30,780 --> 00:01:32,626
Whoa, do you know who I am?!

38
00:01:32,650 --> 00:01:35,026
Even if you kill me,
you're a dead man.

39
00:01:35,050 --> 00:01:36,226
Are you serious?

40
00:01:36,250 --> 00:01:37,496
Morty, he's right.
We're screwed.

41
00:01:37,520 --> 00:01:39,296
Let's just end it.
Quick death, come on.

42
00:01:39,320 --> 00:01:42,766
Aw, man. Oh!

43
00:01:42,790 --> 00:01:44,096
Eh!

44
00:01:44,120 --> 00:01:46,620
Holy [bleep] what the [bleep]?

45
00:01:54,130 --> 00:01:55,376
Holy [bleep]

46
00:01:55,400 --> 00:01:57,176
What kind of psycho...?

47
00:01:57,200 --> 00:01:58,840
His own grandson?

48
00:02:00,010 --> 00:02:02,116
<i>Guess he took
your threat pretty serious.</i>

49
00:02:02,140 --> 00:02:03,316
<i>Yeah, but it just...</i>

50
00:02:03,340 --> 00:02:05,116
<i>doesn't make any sense.</i>

51
00:02:05,140 --> 00:02:06,856
<i>Well, he was a scientist.</i>

52
00:02:06,880 --> 00:02:08,526
<i>Maybe he knew more about acid,</i>

53
00:02:08,550 --> 00:02:11,056
<i>maybe it's like
the most painless way to go.</i>

54
00:02:11,080 --> 00:02:13,196
<i>How could that
have been painless?</i>

55
00:02:13,220 --> 00:02:15,996
<i>You saw that pause
before the bones floated up,</i>
56
00:02:16,020 --> 00:02:18,936
<i>that had to be five seconds
of unparalleled torture.</i>

57
00:02:18,960 --> 00:02:21,206
<i>I...
I can't get my head around it.</i>

58
00:02:21,230 --> 00:02:24,806
<i>I-I thought I'd seen
this galaxy at its darkest.</i>

59
00:02:24,830 --> 00:02:27,946
<i>This is... This is gonna take
a while to feel normal.</i>

60
00:02:27,970 --> 00:02:29,546
<i>We're pretty good listeners,
boss.</i>

61
00:02:29,570 --> 00:02:31,416
<i>Drinks are on us
if you want to talk it out.</i>

62
00:02:31,440 --> 00:02:32,686
<i>Thanks, but...</i>

63
00:02:32,710 --> 00:02:35,346
<i>what happened, it happened here.</i>

64
00:02:35,370 --> 00:02:36,556
<i>I don't want to lose the moment.</i>

65
00:02:36,580 --> 00:02:37,956
<i>Take your time, boss.</i>

66
00:02:37,980 --> 00:02:39,486
<i>We'll stay here
as long as you want.</i>

67
00:02:39,510 --> 00:02:42,050
<i>Absolutely.
I got nowhere to be.</i>

68
00:02:44,000 --> 00:02:50,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today

69
00:03:17,820 --> 00:03:19,596
And then little Tommy FlimFlam's
70
00:03:19,620 --> 00:03:21,726
running down the Hyperloop.

71
00:03:21,750 --> 00:03:24,196
His ass is on fire
from Xenon fluid,

72
00:03:24,220 --> 00:03:27,420
but his AI hologram
is [bleep] his own pee [bleep]

73
00:03:29,030 --> 00:03:31,406
Great story, boss.
Really detailed.

74
00:03:31,430 --> 00:03:33,876
Yeah, well,
I got a million of 'em.

75
00:03:33,900 --> 00:03:35,206
<i>Alright.</i>

76
00:03:35,230 --> 00:03:36,616
<i>I think I'm ready
to deal with the world now.</i>

77
00:03:36,640 --> 00:03:38,146
<i>Let's get out of here.</i>

78
00:03:38,170 --> 00:03:40,346
<i>Should we drop our buddy
in here before we go?</i>

79
00:03:40,370 --> 00:03:41,816
<i>Yeah, probably a good idea.</i>

80
00:03:41,840 --> 00:03:43,356
<i>Should we use a different vat?</i>

81
00:03:43,380 --> 00:03:45,886
<i>Does acid lose its acid power
the more it dissolves?</i>

82
00:03:45,910 --> 00:03:47,426
<i>What am I, an acidologist?</i>

83
00:03:47,450 --> 00:03:49,086
<i>Here, grab that
ratlike creature,</i>
84
00:03:49,110 --> 00:03:52,026
<i>we'll do a little test.</i>

85
00:03:52,050 --> 00:03:54,966
<i>Look, if you're going to test
the damn acid, don't use a rat,</i>

86
00:03:54,990 --> 00:03:56,496
<i>take that ladle,
grab a spoonful,</i>

87
00:03:56,520 --> 00:03:58,690
<i>and put it in the analyzer.</i>

88
00:04:01,190 --> 00:04:03,106
Oh! Hey! Oh!

89
00:04:03,130 --> 00:04:06,860
Okay, I'd say that's
pretty acidy. Drop him in.

90
00:04:08,200 --> 00:04:09,646
<i>What are you doing?</i>

91
00:04:09,670 --> 00:04:11,246
<i>You said... Not the rat!</i>

92
00:04:11,270 --> 00:04:12,446
<i>The guy!</i>

93
00:04:12,470 --> 00:04:14,246
<i>Ooh! Marone!</i>

94
00:04:14,270 --> 00:04:16,716
<i>Look at the size
of the bones on that rat!</i>

95
00:04:16,740 --> 00:04:17,786
<i>Oh!</i>

96
00:04:17,810 --> 00:04:19,656
<i>How many sets of bones
this rat got?</i>

97
00:04:19,680 --> 00:04:21,386
<i>And look how
the smaller ones are shaped!</i>

98
00:04:21,410 --> 00:04:23,056
<i>They're like little
cartoon bones,</i>

99
00:04:23,080 --> 00:04:25,326
<i>like if you drew a bone
in art class!</i>

100
00:04:25,350 --> 00:04:26,596
Alright, that tears it.

101
00:04:26,620 --> 00:04:28,266
I'm canceling
the rest of my night

102
00:04:28,290 --> 00:04:29,736
and calling a bone scientist.

103
00:04:29,760 --> 00:04:30,796
We're getting to the bottom
of this...

104
00:04:30,820 --> 00:04:33,136
Jesus [bleep] Christ,
enough already!

105
00:04:33,160 --> 00:04:34,430
Oh! Hey! Whoa!

106
00:04:51,910 --> 00:04:54,580
Can we go?

107
00:04:56,720 --> 00:04:58,296
The [bleep] is wrong with you?

108
00:04:58,320 --> 00:04:59,626
Just admit it was a shitty idea!

109
00:04:59,650 --> 00:05:01,166
Having a grandson?

110
00:05:01,190 --> 00:05:02,566
A vat of fake acid!

111
00:05:02,590 --> 00:05:03,966
Are you dying of dementia?

112
00:05:03,990 --> 00:05:05,366
How are you talking to me
like this?
113
00:05:05,390 --> 00:05:06,706
Wh-When did you get so cocky?

114
00:05:06,730 --> 00:05:08,306
Tonight!
Tonight, Rick!

115
00:05:08,330 --> 00:05:09,436
The night I saw you fail!

116
00:05:09,460 --> 00:05:11,436
Because you ruined it!
It was pre-ruined!

117
00:05:11,460 --> 00:05:13,106
Oh, was it worse than
when I was a pickle?

118
00:05:13,130 --> 00:05:15,176
Oh-oh-oh that's right,
you weren't there for that.

119
00:05:15,200 --> 00:05:16,516
Turned out kind of cool.

120
00:05:16,540 --> 00:05:18,116
Maybe there's a connection
there. - Excuse me?

121
00:05:18,140 --> 00:05:20,316
What's that cool thing
you did without me again?

122
00:05:20,340 --> 00:05:21,516
The awesome thing?

123
00:05:21,540 --> 00:05:23,456
I-I-I guess you wanted a dragon?

124
00:05:23,480 --> 00:05:24,916
Mwah. Unforgettable.

125
00:05:24,940 --> 00:05:25,986
God [bleep] you.

126
00:05:26,010 --> 00:05:27,526
Timely, too,
you really got in on that
127
00:05:27,550 --> 00:05:28,986
"Game of Thrones" fever
right at the peak.

128
00:05:29,010 --> 00:05:31,056
You trying as hard
as you can to hurt me right now

129
00:05:31,080 --> 00:05:32,526
proves my point.

130
00:05:32,550 --> 00:05:33,866
I'll let you know
when you have a point

131
00:05:33,890 --> 00:05:36,136
and the world will know
when I try to hurt you.

132
00:05:36,160 --> 00:05:38,736
Big man, big genius.
Big lonely drunk.

133
00:05:38,760 --> 00:05:41,006
Hey, save some of these
atomic-age beatnik zingers

134
00:05:41,030 --> 00:05:42,930
for your
English homework, Bukowski.

135
00:05:44,760 --> 00:05:46,876
There's no such thing
as a bad idea, Morty.

136
00:05:46,900 --> 00:05:48,800
It's about execution.

137
00:05:50,840 --> 00:05:52,416
No such thing as a bad idea?

138
00:05:52,440 --> 00:05:54,016
Except all of mine, right?

139
00:05:54,040 --> 00:05:56,016
Morty, wanting a dragon
isn't an idea.

140
00:05:56,040 --> 00:05:57,356
I'm not talking about that!
141
00:05:57,380 --> 00:05:59,286
I'm constantly pitching you
ideas, Rick,

142
00:05:59,310 --> 00:06:01,026
and you act like they're
not even worth thinking about!

143
00:06:01,050 --> 00:06:02,496
What, the helicopter lawn chair?

144
00:06:02,520 --> 00:06:03,956
That's just something
you saw on TV.

145
00:06:03,980 --> 00:06:06,696
What about my video-game-style
place-saving device?

146
00:06:06,720 --> 00:06:10,036
Oh, my God, here we go.

147
00:06:10,060 --> 00:06:12,166
It's a good idea, Rick!
A device that lets you...

148
00:06:12,190 --> 00:06:13,636
Save your place
like in a video game

149
00:06:13,660 --> 00:06:15,166
but in real life
so that you can try stuff

150
00:06:15,190 --> 00:06:16,636
and then go back
to your save point,

151
00:06:16,660 --> 00:06:18,306
yes, Morty,
I saw it on "Futurama."

152
00:06:18,330 --> 00:06:20,446
Oh, so you don't do anything
unless it's original?

153
00:06:20,470 --> 00:06:21,906
I don't do time travel.

154
00:06:21,930 --> 00:06:23,646
It's not time travel,
it's saving a place in time...

155
00:06:23,670 --> 00:06:25,776
Oh, my God,
is this what you think I do?

156
00:06:25,800 --> 00:06:28,046
This is where the heavy lifting
happens in your mind?

157
00:06:28,070 --> 00:06:29,516
Do you have any idea
how much [bleep] work

158
00:06:29,540 --> 00:06:31,056
would have to go into
a machine that...

159
00:06:31,080 --> 00:06:32,856
Ah-ha!
You can't do it!

160
00:06:32,880 --> 00:06:35,526
I can do anything, Morty.

161
00:06:35,550 --> 00:06:37,396
Your idea is not worth doing.

162
00:06:37,420 --> 00:06:38,856
You can't do it.

163
00:06:38,880 --> 00:06:40,796
Before what you're trying to do
was called "negging,"

164
00:06:40,820 --> 00:06:42,666
it was called
"reverse psychology,"

165
00:06:42,690 --> 00:06:44,936
and incels didn't invent it,
Bugs Bunny did.

166
00:06:44,960 --> 00:06:47,466
You can't do it. There
is nothing I cannot do.

167
00:06:47,490 --> 00:06:49,936
A place-saving video-game
thing! You're a piece of [bleep]

168
00:06:49,960 --> 00:06:51,676
Just say you
can't do it! I won't!

169
00:06:51,700 --> 00:06:52,806
You won't say you can't?

170
00:06:52,830 --> 00:06:54,406
[Bleep] you, Morty!
[Bleep] you!

171
00:06:54,430 --> 00:06:56,546
[Bleep] you!
[ Grunts ]

172
00:06:56,570 --> 00:06:58,170
Son of a bitch.

173
00:07:02,110 --> 00:07:04,480
So are you gonna... Yes,
I'm gonna [bleep] do it!

174
00:07:06,680 --> 00:07:08,056
Rick, it's 3:00 a.m.

175
00:07:08,080 --> 00:07:10,056
Wh-Wh-What's going on?
W-Why'd you call me?

176
00:07:10,080 --> 00:07:11,996
You were right, Morty.

177
00:07:12,020 --> 00:07:13,466
I failed.
I can't make it.

178
00:07:13,490 --> 00:07:15,126
And honestly,
I'm pretty ashamed.

179
00:07:15,150 --> 00:07:16,996
That might be why I've been
so aggressive and unfair

180
00:07:17,020 --> 00:07:18,196
about rejecting your ideas.

181
00:07:18,220 --> 00:07:20,206
- Rick...
- A fake acid vat, Morty?

182
00:07:20,230 --> 00:07:22,206
Maybe I've lost it.
Maybe I never had it.

183
00:07:22,230 --> 00:07:24,076
Hey. C'mon. Y-You know
I didn't mean it that way.

184
00:07:24,100 --> 00:07:26,076
I just think we need to find
better ways to communicate.

185
00:07:26,100 --> 00:07:27,946
I'm sorry. I just...
I lash out sometimes.

186
00:07:27,970 --> 00:07:30,546
I-I-I don't know why I do that!
I'm so ashamed of myself.

187
00:07:30,570 --> 00:07:31,746
Hearing you talk about
the vat...

188
00:07:31,770 --> 00:07:33,346
it really opened my eyes.

189
00:07:33,370 --> 00:07:35,016
Like what the [bleep] am
I even doing? - Hey. Hey.

190
00:07:35,040 --> 00:07:36,686
I don't like hearing this talk.
You're a great inventor.

191
00:07:36,710 --> 00:07:38,356
We just got a couple things
to work on.

192
00:07:38,380 --> 00:07:40,226
Let's start with inventing
a little honesty.

193
00:07:40,250 --> 00:07:42,696
Sound good? Thank
you, Morty. Sounds good.

194
00:07:42,720 --> 00:07:44,096
Or maybe I'll just
kill you. What?

195
00:07:44,120 --> 00:07:46,120
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, Rick...

196
00:07:49,050 --> 00:07:51,436
Because I [bleep] did it!
Oh-ho-ho!

197
00:07:51,460 --> 00:07:52,906
Booya!
Holy [bleep]

198
00:07:52,930 --> 00:07:54,106
You did it!
You did it!

199
00:07:54,130 --> 00:07:55,706
I did it,
you little son of a bitch!

200
00:07:55,730 --> 00:07:57,306
How did you... Morty,
do you want me to explain,

201
00:07:57,330 --> 00:07:59,376
or you wanna go have some
fun? I wanna have some fun!

202
00:07:59,400 --> 00:08:00,576
Oh, my God.

203
00:08:00,600 --> 00:08:02,046
Rick, this is...
This is... thank you!

204
00:08:02,070 --> 00:08:03,646
You can thank me later.
Go nuts.

205
00:08:03,670 --> 00:08:04,846
Best grandpa ever!

206
00:08:04,870 --> 00:08:06,600
That's all I ever wanted
to hear.

207
00:08:08,610 --> 00:08:10,116
Alright, class,
208
00:08:10,140 --> 00:08:11,786
I know I've been absent
for most of this school year.

209
00:08:11,810 --> 00:08:13,786
I'll be honest with you...
During spring break,

210
00:08:13,810 --> 00:08:15,326
I attended a renaissance faire

211
00:08:15,350 --> 00:08:18,726
and fell in love with a buxom
hand-axe juggler half my age.

212
00:08:18,750 --> 00:08:20,726
I overplayed my interest
in her lifestyle

213
00:08:20,750 --> 00:08:22,066
just to get closer to her,

214
00:08:22,090 --> 00:08:23,536
traveling the country
with her troupe,

215
00:08:23,560 --> 00:08:26,536
and I am embarrassed to say
I am now an expert blacksmith

216
00:08:26,560 --> 00:08:28,736
with several STDs
and a broken heart.

217
00:08:28,760 --> 00:08:30,336
I beseech your nasty
little asses

218
00:08:30,360 --> 00:08:32,206
to speak on the matter
no further.

219
00:08:32,230 --> 00:08:34,746
Now that that's out of the way,
who wants to do some math?

220
00:08:34,770 --> 00:08:37,016
I'll do it. A bold
move, Morty Smith.

221
00:08:37,040 --> 00:08:38,276
But can you deliver?

222
00:08:38,300 --> 00:08:39,816
Oh, I've got something
to deliver.

223
00:08:39,840 --> 00:08:42,216
Ahh!
Oh, God.

224
00:08:42,240 --> 00:08:43,156
What the hell!

225
00:08:43,180 --> 00:08:44,956
Aw, goddamnit,
this is traumatizing.

226
00:08:44,980 --> 00:08:47,156
Oh, my God, what's wrong
with your dick?

227
00:08:47,180 --> 00:08:49,286
Not cool.
I'm allergic to sheepskin!

228
00:08:49,310 --> 00:08:51,896
Bold move, Morty Smith.
But can you deliver?

229
00:08:51,920 --> 00:08:53,296
Holy [bleep] I can do anything.

230
00:08:53,320 --> 00:08:55,366
Yes, with math,
anything is possible.

231
00:08:55,390 --> 00:08:57,036
Except a long-term relationship
with a woman

232
00:08:57,060 --> 00:08:59,860
that calls you a warlock
for using a phone.

233
00:09:02,660 --> 00:09:04,636
Hi, uh, hey, Jessica.

234
00:09:04,660 --> 00:09:06,700
Oh.
Hey, Morty.
235
00:09:08,800 --> 00:09:10,646
Hey...
Jessica, right?

236
00:09:10,670 --> 00:09:12,916
Um. Yeah.
Hi. Sorry.

237
00:09:12,940 --> 00:09:14,186
I thought you knew my name

238
00:09:14,210 --> 00:09:15,646
because we've interacted
so many times,

239
00:09:15,670 --> 00:09:17,786
but maybe I was
just being stupid.

240
00:09:17,810 --> 00:09:20,126
Sorry. Hi.
I-I'm Jessica. That's me.

241
00:09:20,150 --> 00:09:21,326
Cool.
See you around.

242
00:09:21,350 --> 00:09:22,796
Jessica. Yeah.
I hope I see you.

243
00:09:22,820 --> 00:09:24,820
Around.
Guess we'll see.

244
00:09:26,750 --> 00:09:28,196
I think I'm gonna
like this thing.

245
00:09:28,220 --> 00:09:33,806
♪ It's in the way
that you use it ♪

246
00:09:33,830 --> 00:09:38,136
♪ It comes and it goes ♪

247
00:09:38,160 --> 00:09:43,676
♪ It's in the way
that you use it ♪
248
00:09:43,700 --> 00:09:46,816
♪ Boy, don't you know ♪

249
00:09:46,840 --> 00:09:53,156
♪ And if you lie,
you will lose it ♪

250
00:09:53,180 --> 00:09:57,156
♪ Feelings will show ♪

251
00:09:57,180 --> 00:10:02,696
♪ So don't you ever abuse it ♪

252
00:10:02,720 --> 00:10:06,460
♪ Don't let it go ♪

253
00:10:08,990 --> 00:10:11,036
Oh shit, suicide by cop!

254
00:10:11,060 --> 00:10:12,376
I love these!

255
00:10:12,400 --> 00:10:17,046
♪ Nobody's weak
until somebody's strong ♪

256
00:10:17,070 --> 00:10:18,716
You're living too fast, Morty.

257
00:10:18,740 --> 00:10:20,716
I don't pay for your friendship,
Heroin Keith.

258
00:10:20,740 --> 00:10:22,116
Damn.

259
00:10:22,140 --> 00:10:25,256
♪ Nobody's lonely
until somebody's gone ♪

260
00:10:25,280 --> 00:10:30,796
♪ It's in the way
that you use it ♪

261
00:10:30,820 --> 00:10:34,926
♪ It comes and it goes ♪

262
00:10:34,950 --> 00:10:40,736
♪ It's in the way
that you use it ♪

263
00:10:40,760 --> 00:10:43,876
♪ Boy, don't you know ♪

264
00:10:43,900 --> 00:10:50,216
♪ It's in the way
that you use it ♪

265
00:10:50,240 --> 00:10:54,686
♪ It comes and it goes ♪

266
00:10:54,710 --> 00:10:58,110
♪ It's in the way
that you use it ♪

267
00:14:15,440 --> 00:14:20,826
♪ It's in the way
that you use it ♪

268
00:14:20,850 --> 00:14:24,896
♪ It comes and it goes ♪

269
00:14:24,920 --> 00:14:30,096
♪ It's in the way
that you use it ♪

270
00:14:30,120 --> 00:14:34,106
♪ Boy, don't you know ♪

271
00:14:34,130 --> 00:14:39,846
♪ And if you lie,
you will lose it ♪

272
00:14:39,870 --> 00:14:43,916
♪ Feelings will show ♪

273
00:14:43,940 --> 00:14:49,786
♪ So don't you ever abuse it ♪

274
00:14:49,810 --> 00:14:54,456
♪ Don't let it go ♪

275
00:14:54,480 --> 00:14:55,950
♪ Nobody's right ♪

276
00:14:58,150 --> 00:14:59,666
Oh, hi, Jessica.

277
00:14:59,690 --> 00:15:01,266
Hey, I'm sorry I brushed you off
the other day.

278
00:15:01,290 --> 00:15:02,596
I was just trying to be cool...

279
00:15:02,620 --> 00:15:04,196
Oh, I don't even know
what you're talking about.

280
00:15:04,220 --> 00:15:06,136
But...
you seem different.

281
00:15:06,160 --> 00:15:07,736
Like you finally found yourself.

282
00:15:07,760 --> 00:15:09,136
Yeah.
I... I guess I have.

283
00:15:09,160 --> 00:15:11,876
That's good to hear.
I like who you found.

284
00:15:11,900 --> 00:15:13,546
Yeah.
Yeah, I do, too.

285
00:15:13,570 --> 00:15:16,076
Looking forward to seeing more.

286
00:15:16,100 --> 00:15:17,146
I'll see you tomorrow, Morty.

287
00:15:17,170 --> 00:15:19,600
Yeah.
Yeah, I'll see you tomorrow.

288
00:15:25,040 --> 00:15:26,356
How's it going?

289
00:15:26,380 --> 00:15:27,756
Y'know, it was fun, Rick.
Real fun.

290
00:15:27,780 --> 00:15:29,896
Y'know I-I-I definitely
sowed those oats.
291
00:15:29,920 --> 00:15:31,026
But I think you invented

292
00:15:31,050 --> 00:15:32,966
a little lesson for me
along the way.

293
00:15:32,990 --> 00:15:34,496
Living without
consequences is great,

294
00:15:34,520 --> 00:15:35,896
but then I started wondering...

295
00:15:35,920 --> 00:15:37,296
<i>what am I living for?</i>

296
00:15:37,320 --> 00:15:38,636
What am I building?

297
00:15:38,660 --> 00:15:40,636
If I'm always looking back,
I'm never looking ahead.

298
00:15:40,660 --> 00:15:41,836
And then it hit me.

299
00:15:41,860 --> 00:15:44,306
We are who we are
because of consequences.

300
00:15:44,330 --> 00:15:46,706
You can't live
without consequences, y'know?

301
00:15:46,730 --> 00:15:47,776
You feel me?

302
00:15:47,800 --> 00:15:49,846
Wow.

303
00:15:49,870 --> 00:15:52,846
That's a beautiful thought,
Morty, but, uh, no.

304
00:15:52,870 --> 00:15:54,446
There were definitely
consequences.

305
00:15:54,470 --> 00:15:55,986
What're-What-What are you
talking about?

306
00:15:56,010 --> 00:15:57,916
I mean.
You did everything you did.

307
00:15:57,940 --> 00:15:59,186
It all happened.

308
00:15:59,210 --> 00:16:00,526
No.
But the... the respawn button.

309
00:16:00,550 --> 00:16:02,596
The... The do-over.
- It's not a do-over.

310
00:16:02,620 --> 00:16:04,456
You just did it.
Over and over.

311
00:16:04,480 --> 00:16:05,996
What are you saying?
W-What did you do?

312
00:16:06,020 --> 00:16:08,326
<i>I think it's more appropriate
to ask what did you do?</i>

313
00:16:08,350 --> 00:16:10,136
You see, Morty, you weren't
saving your place

314
00:16:10,160 --> 00:16:11,466
and going back.

315
00:16:11,490 --> 00:16:12,806
I don't respect time travel.

316
00:16:12,830 --> 00:16:15,666
If "Ant Man and the Wasp"
can do it, I'm not interested.

317
00:16:15,690 --> 00:16:17,076
It wasn't so much a do-over

318
00:16:17,100 --> 00:16:18,476
as it was isolating
a moment in time,
319
00:16:18,500 --> 00:16:19,746
splitting your probable selves,

320
00:16:19,770 --> 00:16:21,606
and shunting you into
to into a near-duplicate,

321
00:16:21,630 --> 00:16:24,216
equally probable reality,
transporting you into it

322
00:16:24,240 --> 00:16:25,946
at the moment
of parallel determination.

323
00:16:25,970 --> 00:16:28,546
Pretty nifty. Time crystals
are a bitch and a half,

324
00:16:28,570 --> 00:16:31,356
but the only real hitch is that
there was already a you

325
00:16:31,380 --> 00:16:32,626
in each probable dimension.

326
00:16:32,650 --> 00:16:34,450
So we had to solve for that.

327
00:16:39,720 --> 00:16:41,166
That's right, you little bitch!

328
00:16:41,190 --> 00:16:42,896
It's "The Prestige"!
You "Prestige'd" yourself!

329
00:16:42,920 --> 00:16:45,166
Rick, how many did I
kill? - You tell me, Morty.

330
00:16:45,190 --> 00:16:47,366
Every time you reset
to smell Jessica's hair,

331
00:16:47,390 --> 00:16:49,776
every time you relived
a satisfying fart,

332
00:16:49,800 --> 00:16:51,576
that's how many Mortys
you've incinerated,

333
00:16:51,600 --> 00:16:52,846
you greedy little junkie.

334
00:16:52,870 --> 00:16:55,176
Oh, God...
Even those times when I...

335
00:16:55,200 --> 00:16:56,776
Especially those times.

336
00:16:56,800 --> 00:16:58,976
It's over, Morty.
Feel this.

337
00:16:59,000 --> 00:17:00,386
Take this in.
This is God.

338
00:17:00,410 --> 00:17:02,256
Wh-Wh-Wh-Wh...
Why would you do this?

339
00:17:02,280 --> 00:17:04,716
My hands are clean, Morty.
I gave you a choice.

340
00:17:04,740 --> 00:17:06,326
You could listen to me explain,

341
00:17:06,350 --> 00:17:08,856
in great scientific detail,
how it all works...

342
00:17:08,880 --> 00:17:10,056
or you could have fun.

343
00:17:10,080 --> 00:17:11,256
Did you have fun, Morty?

344
00:17:11,280 --> 00:17:12,926
Is this because of the vat?

345
00:17:12,950 --> 00:17:14,596
No.
I'm sorry.

346
00:17:14,620 --> 00:17:16,136
I'm afraid it's too late
for that, Morty.

347
00:17:16,160 --> 00:17:18,396
What's done is done,
but it can end.

348
00:17:18,420 --> 00:17:20,266
The original split
is still timestamped.

349
00:17:20,290 --> 00:17:22,536
I can make it so those Mortys
never existed at all,

350
00:17:22,560 --> 00:17:23,936
make them purely theoretical.

351
00:17:23,960 --> 00:17:25,336
Oh, God.
What do I do?

352
00:17:25,360 --> 00:17:26,806
I think it's clear
you've done enough.

353
00:17:26,830 --> 00:17:29,276
Tell me how, Rick!
Tell me how I save those Mortys!

354
00:17:29,300 --> 00:17:30,476
You live with the consequences.

355
00:17:30,500 --> 00:17:31,816
Those things happened somewhere,

356
00:17:31,840 --> 00:17:33,686
but you can merge
the probable realities

357
00:17:33,710 --> 00:17:35,616
so that only one Morty did them.

358
00:17:35,640 --> 00:17:36,616
Just do it.

359
00:17:36,640 --> 00:17:38,216
Alright, lemme just
sync these up

360
00:17:38,240 --> 00:17:39,616
and get you back
to your dimension.

361
00:17:39,640 --> 00:17:41,556
Wait, so... so you're not even
my Rick?

362
00:17:41,580 --> 00:17:43,226
Then... Then why do you know
about the vat?

363
00:17:43,250 --> 00:17:44,650
Every Rick has a vat!

364
00:17:54,860 --> 00:17:55,906
Well, Morty, I'd say

365
00:17:55,930 --> 00:17:58,306
we've invented
a little honesty today.

366
00:17:58,330 --> 00:18:00,046
How about you?
I don't deserve this.

367
00:18:00,070 --> 00:18:01,246
I was just having fun.

368
00:18:01,270 --> 00:18:02,316
So was Jeffrey Dahmer.

369
00:18:02,340 --> 00:18:04,340
Speaking of,
time to pay the piper.

370
00:18:06,340 --> 00:18:08,846
Morty Smith.

371
00:18:08,870 --> 00:18:11,316
Come out with your hands up,
you sick [bleep]

372
00:18:11,340 --> 00:18:13,186
We're also fine
with just shooting you

373
00:18:13,210 --> 00:18:14,986
if you wanna suicide by cop.

374
00:18:15,010 --> 00:18:16,196
What?
What is this?

375
00:18:16,220 --> 00:18:17,726
Wow.
Looks like a SWAT Team,

376
00:18:17,750 --> 00:18:18,996
some drug dealers,

377
00:18:19,020 --> 00:18:22,066
some grassroots MeToo activists,
the ACLU...

378
00:18:22,090 --> 00:18:23,666
Jesus, Morty, the AARP?

379
00:18:23,690 --> 00:18:26,336
I don't wanna talk about it!
- The NAACP, GamerGate...

380
00:18:26,360 --> 00:18:29,466
Morty, is that Supreme Court
Justice Sonia Sotomayor?

381
00:18:29,490 --> 00:18:30,806
I'm sorry!
I... I'm sorry!

382
00:18:30,830 --> 00:18:32,346
I-Is that
what you want me to say?

383
00:18:32,370 --> 00:18:34,746
What... What do I do?
Oof, well, I'm stumped.

384
00:18:34,770 --> 00:18:37,076
Seems like there's no way
out of this one.

385
00:18:37,100 --> 00:18:38,276
Unless...

386
00:18:38,300 --> 00:18:39,686
God damn it.

387
00:18:39,710 --> 00:18:41,746
Yeah, I guess it is, uh...
What did you call it?
388
00:18:41,770 --> 00:18:44,086
Uh, uh, "A shitty idea"?

389
00:18:44,110 --> 00:18:46,226
God damn it.
Say the vat is good.

390
00:18:46,250 --> 00:18:48,156
The vat is good.

391
00:18:48,180 --> 00:18:50,280
Kiss the vat.

392
00:18:52,320 --> 00:18:53,766
Do not go into that vat.

393
00:18:53,790 --> 00:18:55,766
It appears to be full of acid.

394
00:18:55,790 --> 00:18:57,766
It is!
Please, he's just a little boy!

395
00:18:57,790 --> 00:19:00,166
Let me talk to him. Tell
him we're very upset!

396
00:19:00,190 --> 00:19:01,506
Morty, please.
Step back.

397
00:19:01,530 --> 00:19:02,906
That vat is full of acid.

398
00:19:02,930 --> 00:19:05,506
It'll melt you completely,
leaving only your bones.

399
00:19:05,530 --> 00:19:07,246
Goddamn it! - I'm sorry,
what did you say?

400
00:19:07,270 --> 00:19:08,470
I'm going in the vat!

401
00:19:11,200 --> 00:19:14,386
Oh! God!
Aw, I blame myself!
402
00:19:14,410 --> 00:19:16,186
Oh, what a tragedy.

403
00:19:16,210 --> 00:19:18,456
This...
Oh, well, he's bones now.

404
00:19:18,480 --> 00:19:19,656
I guess all debts are paid.

405
00:19:19,680 --> 00:19:21,386
Agreed.
He's definitely dead.

406
00:19:21,410 --> 00:19:23,796
Why else
would the bones come up?

407
00:19:23,820 --> 00:19:25,726
While his actions
were horrifying

408
00:19:25,750 --> 00:19:28,396
and we are well within
our rights to be outraged,

409
00:19:28,420 --> 00:19:30,796
I do wonder if we bear
some responsibility

410
00:19:30,820 --> 00:19:33,006
for this young man
melting himself in acid.

411
00:19:33,030 --> 00:19:35,866
Are we here for justice...
or something else?

412
00:19:35,890 --> 00:19:39,206
"Though justice be thy plea,
consider this,"

413
00:19:39,230 --> 00:19:41,346
that in the course of justice...

414
00:19:41,370 --> 00:19:44,016
none of us should see salvation.

415
00:19:44,040 --> 00:19:45,476
"We do pray for mercy."
416
00:19:45,500 --> 00:19:46,816
"Merchant of Venice," nice.

417
00:19:46,840 --> 00:19:48,416
Very cool.
Lots to think about.

418
00:19:48,440 --> 00:19:50,216
Vengeance is a tomb,
all-encompassing...

419
00:19:50,240 --> 00:19:53,756
Alright, okay, this isn't a
poetry reading, a kid just died.

420
00:19:53,780 --> 00:19:57,250
Every... Everybody go home and
hug your loved one or something.

421
00:20:02,190 --> 00:20:03,436
Wait.

422
00:20:03,460 --> 00:20:04,766
How do we know
that's really acid

423
00:20:04,790 --> 00:20:06,706
and you didn't just have
someone's bones in there?

424
00:20:06,730 --> 00:20:08,306
I mean, if you're doubting
if that's really acid

425
00:20:08,330 --> 00:20:09,976
and not just jacuzzi-heated
Mountain Dew,

426
00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:11,576
you're welcome
to use this ladle.

427
00:20:11,600 --> 00:20:13,446
You think I'm a goddamn idiot?

428
00:20:13,470 --> 00:20:15,700
Brought my own.

429
00:20:20,410 --> 00:20:21,646
Aah!

430
00:20:21,670 --> 00:20:22,856
Oh, God!
Oh, God no!

431
00:20:22,880 --> 00:20:24,586
Oh, God, no!
Oh, no... Huh?

432
00:20:24,610 --> 00:20:26,126
I'm acid-proof!

433
00:20:26,150 --> 00:20:28,256
[Bleep] all of you
[bleep] all of you,

434
00:20:28,280 --> 00:20:29,456
I'm gonna be rich!

435
00:20:29,480 --> 00:20:30,796
Here's my ass.

436
00:20:30,820 --> 00:20:32,866
Take a good look, spank it!

437
00:20:32,890 --> 00:20:34,396
Acid proof!

438
00:20:34,420 --> 00:20:37,396
Feels like that guy
had other stuff going on.

439
00:20:37,420 --> 00:20:40,006
Don't ever make fun of me again.

440
00:20:40,030 --> 00:20:41,866
Ever!

441
00:20:41,890 --> 00:20:43,476
Alright, c'mon Morty,
let's go home.

442
00:20:43,500 --> 00:20:45,076
Wait, what?
This... This isn't our reality?

443
00:20:45,100 --> 00:20:46,476
What, you think
I'd waste our home
444
00:20:46,500 --> 00:20:48,146
teaching you a [bleep] lesson?

445
00:20:48,170 --> 00:20:49,946
I am gonna miss
this place, though...

446
00:20:49,970 --> 00:20:52,076
Johnny Carson's still alive
and on the air,

447
00:20:52,100 --> 00:20:53,286
9/11 never happened,

448
00:20:53,310 --> 00:20:54,686
and Rocky Road ice cream
has peanut butter

449
00:20:54,710 --> 00:20:56,756
instead of marshmallows.
- The fu... What?

450
00:20:56,780 --> 00:20:58,156
The marshmallows
are the best part!

451
00:20:58,180 --> 00:21:00,040
Morty...

452
00:21:36,620 --> 00:21:38,526
Our next guest, ah, gave us,

453
00:21:38,550 --> 00:21:39,996
well, actually,
very little information,

454
00:21:40,020 --> 00:21:44,466
ah, besides the fact that he is,
uh, impervious to acid.

455
00:21:44,490 --> 00:21:46,466
So here he is,
he's here to prove it.

456
00:21:46,490 --> 00:21:49,406
Let's welcome this guy.

457
00:21:49,430 --> 00:21:50,736
Let's do this shit!
458
00:21:50,760 --> 00:21:52,136
Now, you're, uh...
You're sure about this?

459
00:21:52,160 --> 00:21:53,476
Eat my [bleep] Hoist me!

460
00:21:53,500 --> 00:21:56,816
I did not know that ass
was on the menu.

461
00:21:56,840 --> 00:21:58,216
Don't steal my moment!
Do it!

462
00:21:58,240 --> 00:22:02,286
Ah, okay, then without
further ado... drop him.

463
00:22:02,310 --> 00:22:03,556
Oh, yeah!
Oh, yeah!

464
00:22:03,580 --> 00:22:05,780
Oh, yeah!
Oh, yeah, oh, yeah!

465
00:22:17,660 --> 00:22:20,520
Looks like I'll be
eating [bleep] flambé.

466
00:22:22,460 --> 00:22:23,660
Please kill me.

467
00:22:24,305 --> 00:22:30,698
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