Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at https://archiveofourown.org/works/16237442.

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Archive Warning: Choose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Category: F/F
Fandom: Pitch Perfect (Movies)
Relationship: Chloe Beale/Beca Mitchell, Chloe Beale & Beca Mitchell
Character: Chloe Beale, Beca Mitchell, Fat Amy (Pitch Perfect), Aubrey Posen,
Stacie Conrad, Emily Junk, Cynthia-Rose Adams
Additional Tags: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, One Shot, Eventual Happy
Ending, Post-Pitch Perfect 3, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping
Series: Part 1 of What happens when time stands still?
Collections: Its Angsty Up In Here
Stats: Published: 2018-10-08 Words: 3017

1,283
by TheXJames

Summary

She hadn’t been able to breathe correctly in one thousand, two hundred and eighty three
days. One hundred twenty six million breaths with shards in her heart....

Notes

So I wrote this a while back and posted it to ff.net, but I FINALLY got an AO3 account
so I'm moving things over here.

Sorry in advance for this mess. It's something that got stuck in my head one day and I had
to write it to get it out. So if it sucks I apologise.

Also, as this is my first time posting on here and I'm posting from my phone, if there are
formatting issues bear with me.

xxx Continue at your own risk....

One thousand, two hundred and eighty three days.

She hadn’t been able to breathe correctly in one thousand, two hundred and eighty three days.
One hundred twenty six million breaths with shards in her heart. Beca Mitchell was missing a
piece of herself. She had let a piece of herself go, willingly, because she was too stubborn to admit
her feelings. After the USO tour Beca had signed a record deal, moved to LA, and tried to forget
everything she felt for Chloe.

Somewhere around day 184 she let contact between her and the red head drop off; it was too hard
hearing everything about Chicago and how wonderful he was. Chloe tried to keep in touch of
course, she called and texted, facetimed, even wrote a few emails.

That stopped on day 238. Chloe sent her an email apologizing for whatever she did, and told her
she would leave her alone. Beca started drinking heavily after that email.

Day 287 consisted of Beca’s first Grammy nomination. The Bellas all messaged her throughout
the day congratulating her, all except Chloe. Beca smashed her phone into the wall before
midnight.

Day 366 was the day Emily showed up at her LA apartment. She was pissed, rightfully so, and
demanded an explanation as to why Beca had up and disappeared on all of the Bellas. Beca
wasn’t planning on giving her a real reason, she had already prepared for this conversation
eventually and knew what excuse she was going to go with, but Emily called her on her shit
before she had a chance to give an excuse. Emily told her she knew, she had seen Beca’s face
when Chicago kissed Chloe. She had watched the brunette head back to the hotel directly after.
Beca didn’t know why, but she lost it when Emily told her this. She’d been holding everything in
for a year, longer when it came to her feelings for Chloe, and she broke down. After two hours of
crying, talking, and drinking Emily’s concoction for heartbreak, Beca felt better. Emily hugged
her (she allowed it for once) and told her she needed to get in touch with the Bellas again. They all
knew how she felt about Chloe and they were there for her. She promised Emily she would do
better, and she did.

Day 412 was the first time Beca slept with a woman. Stacie had come out to see her, stating that
Emily gave them all scheduled “Beca Time” to make sure the brunette didn’t lose herself. Stacie
took her to a gay bar (Beca didn’t want to go) and told her she had to do something to deal with
this. Either she could call Chloe and tell her how she felt, or she could hit on someone else tonight.
Beca chose the latter.

Day 487 was the first time she accidently drunk dialed Chloe. She was at her album release party,
for her second album, and Titanium was playing. She didn’t realize she had left her a voicemail
until the next day. Chloe never returned her call.

Days 623 through 694 were a blur. Beca was on tour during that time. She barely remembers the
places she toured, let alone anything else during then. She does know she still dreamed of Chloe
every night.

Day 712 was a breaking point. She was in New York visiting Fat Amy after getting a bit of a
break from working on her first producing album. The two were sitting in a small coffee shop on
7th Ave, discussing Beca’s switch from singing to producing and how much she was loving it. No
more tours, not as much pressure in the public life, and still a good amount of money. It was were
Beca wanted to be, and Amy was happy for her. As they discussed LA life Beca looked toward
the door and saw her. It had been just shy of two years but Chloe Beale looked just as lovely as
ever. Everything about her was the same, with the exception of the ring Beca could clearly see on
her left finger. Chloe turned toward the table as Beca stood up quickly to leave. She burst past
Chloe and out the door as she heard Fat Amy calling after her. She knew she should turn around,
this was ridiculous, it had been two years she should be over everything by now. In her mind she
told herself she was over it, but seeing Chloe in that moment she realized nothing had gone away.
Her emotions hit her full force, and she hopped in a cab back to her hotel.

Day 713 was the first time she heard from Chloe. She woke up to a text asking if they could talk.
Beca didn’t respond.

Day 783 Beca decided to go to therapy. She couldn’t get past a first date without thinking about
Chloe, comparing them to Chloe, wondering what Chloe was doing. She needed help. She had to
get over this. Her therapist asked her if she’d ever told Chloe how she felt. They then
recommended she take a week vacation to New York and set up a time to talk to Chloe while she
was there. She needed to get everything out in the open to be able to move on. Beca didn’t go
back to therapy.

Day 910 was the next time Beca drunk dialed Chloe. Technically it was day 909 but she wasn’t
aware of it at that time. She saw on her phone that she had called, and apparently Chloe answered
and they had a seven minute conversation. Beca had no recollection of the call and no idea what
she had said to Chloe. She didn’t want to know. She deleted the contact from her phone.

Day 964 CR came to LA to see Beca. They were in the middle of dinner with CR let it slip that
Chloe had broken things off with Chicago. Beca didn’t want to ask, but she couldn’t help asking
why. CR told her she wasn’t really sure, it had happened around 2 months ago. Chloe told the
girls he just wasn’t the right person for her. Beca had to fight down the desire to ask more
questions. She didn’t deserve Chloe Beale after the way she had left. She knew this, and judging
by the lack of contact, Chloe did too.

It was day 1004 as she was sitting in Mrs. Junk’s living room drinking hot chocolate with Emily,
that her mistakes over the last years hit her in the face. Or the heart, to be more accurate. As they
all sat in the living room reminiscing over worlds and the USO tour, Emily showed Beca a picture
she had from the last day of the tour. It was a picture of Bec and Chloe; they were sitting in front
of a fountain not paying attention to the camera but laughing at something one of them had said.
Beca felt her heart splinter as she took in one of the last times she had been genuinely happy.
Emily noticed that Beca was getting emotional and quickly flipped to the next picture she had in
the pile. Beca stopped her, and asked where she had gotten that picture from. She didn’t remember
seeing it in any of the scrapbooks Emily had shown her over the years. Emily looked away
sheepishly and told Beca that Chloe had given it to her a couple of weeks ago when she was in
New York recording. It had been sitting in a picture frame on her desk, and when Emily asked
about it Chloe said she should take it. It was, and Emily swore these were the exact words, too
hard for Chloe to look at anymore.

It took Beca until day 1023 to text Chloe. She had gotten her number again from Emily before she
left back to LA, with the intent of texting Chloe that night. Fear of course had stopped her from
actually following through. She probably never would have followed through if it wasn’t for her
getting word that she was going to be nominated for record of the year. Before she even realized
what she was doing, Chloe’s contact was up on her phone. She contemplated what to do,
hovering over the dial button before shooting off a quick text asking if Chloe would be okay with
calling her when she had a chance. After she hit send she regretted it. What if Chloe actually
called her? What was she supposed to say? She wouldn’t admit to herself that she was more
scared that Chloe wouldn’t call.

Day 1024 was the first time Beca heard Chloe’s voice in over three years. She noticed the name
on the caller ID and answered with a hesitant hello. Chloe’s voice was soft, apologizing for not
responding to her text the previous day. She asked what Beca wanted her to call for, and Beca
told her about the nomination for record of the year. She didn’t know why, but Chloe was the
only person she wanted to tell about it. If she was honest, she did know why, she just couldn’t
admit to herself that after all this time she was still in love with Chloe Beale. She hadn’t seen her
(excluding the coffee shop) in over three years, she didn’t even really know her anymore. How
could she still be in love with her? She did know her though, she would always know Chloe
better than she knew herself. Chloe being her perfect self of course, congratulated Beca and told
her how proud she was. They only spoke for eight and a half minutes before Chloe had to go back
to work. It was the happiest eight and a half minutes in the last three years of Beca’s life. The
phone call between her and Chloe opened a lot of shadows Beca had been pushing back.

By day 1032 she decided to go back to therapy. They spoke about Chloe this time as well, but
they spoke more about Beca and her reasons behind not telling Chloe how she felt. She began
seeing a connection between her being closed off and her cutting her best friend out during her
therapy session, and decided she should keep seeing him.

She continued until day 1120, when he advised she take that week long vacation now. She had
worked through a lot of residual anger and resentment that she didn’t realize she was holding, and
he thought she was ready to talk to Chloe. This time she decided to take her therapists advice, and
bought tickets to New York for a vacation after she finished the album she was currently working
on.

Day 1203 she stepped into the same coffee shop on 7th Ave that she’d seen Chloe last. This time
though, she had invited her here. The two had spoken a handful of times since the first phone call,
but never about anything other than work and the Bellas. Beca was ready though, to apologize for
cutting Chloe out and try to rekindle a friendship with the red head. She was not expecting to tell
said redhead that she’d been in love with her for 5 years. She was not expecting to admit to being
hurt and jealous about Chicago and that being the reason she left. She was definitely not expecting
to admit she still had feelings, even after all this time. She didn’t expect Chloe to tear up and walk
out either.

She received a phone call from Stacie on day 1209. She was leaving New York that evening but
Stacie asked if she could come to Boston, where she was working, before she flew out. Beca
drove to Boston and met Stacie at her apartment, where she found out Chloe had called her after
leaving Beca in the cafe. Chloe was hurt, angry, confused and asked Stacie if she had known.
Stacie of course told her the truth, that all of the Bellas knew. She told Chloe about Emily’s “Beca
Schedule” and about how they all had received phone calls from drunk Beca at some point in the
last few years. Chloe had yelled at her for not telling her, but apologized and said she understood
why they didn’t mention it. Stacie told Beca she wasn’t positive, but it seemed that Chloe might
reciprocate some of the feelings Beca had. Beca got drunk that night too. She also moved her
flight to the next day.

Nothing was different in Beca’s life until day 1243. She was leaving work on a Friday, excited to
actually have a weekend to rest for once, when her phone rang. She saw it was Aubrey Posen.
Confused, she answered the call. The first words out of Aubrey’s mouth stunned Beca. Do you
love her? Aubrey repeated herself when Beca didn’t say anything. Beca stammered a quiet yes
and then the line went dead. Beca had no idea what to think of that phone call, but she went on
throughout her evening. Around 10 o’clock that night she got a video call from Emily. She had
been drinking, but wasn’t drunk yet so went ahead and answered. Immediately she saw Emily,
Stacie, Flo, CR, Amy, and Aubrey sitting around the screen. Beca barely got a hello out before
Aubrey began talking. “Here’s the deal Beca. Chloe is all fucked up because of your visit.
Apparently her oblivious self honestly had no idea how you felt about her and now she thinks
she’s a horrible person for parading her relationship with Chicago around in front of you. She’s
pissed that you didn’t say anything and that you left her, but she blames herself.” Beca sat
stunned, she didn’t want Chloe blaming herself. It wasn’t her fault. She was about to say as much
when Stacie jumped in. “Chloe’s in love with you Beca.” Beca could help the what that came out
of her mouth at that. Aubrey gave Stacie a chastising looked but allowed her to continue. “She
broke up with Chicago after you called her drunk one night. I don’t know what you said, she
wouldn’t tell me, but she said she realized after that. It had always been you. And she thought
she’d missed her chance so she begged me not to say anything to you.” Emily joined into the
conversation. “That’s why she gave me that picture. She doesn’t think she deserves you. And you
don’t think you deserve her. You two are MADE for each other!” Aubrey shushed the rest of the
girls and looked at Beca, who at this point could barely put two thoughts together. “Beca, Stacie is
right. Chloe is in love with you, probably always has been. But you fucked up, both of you. So I
need to know if this is still what you want. If you’re not one hundred percent sure you want Chloe
in your life we’ll hang up right now and pretend this call never happened. Chloe is my best friend
and I’m not going to let you hurt her because you still haven’t learned how to express your
feelings.” Beca shook her head no quickly and told Aubrey she wanted this. She didn’t want
anything but this. She couldn’t believe any of this was happening, but she wanted Chloe more
than anything. Aubrey told her to clear her schedule for next week and she’d get back to her with
the plan. Beca slept soundly for the first time that night.

Day 1251 was the day Beca moved back to New York. She had convinced her office to let her
open their new label, calling it Blue Eyed Records. It wasn’t in the Aubrey plan, but Beca
couldn’t let the opportunity pass her up. In the last nine days she had spoken to her therapist, most
of the Bellas, even her dad about Chloe and had decided she was going to make things right. She
would get her best friend back, and hopefully more. She needed the redhead in her life.

Day 1263 she asked Chloe to come down to the new label. The two had been texting fairly
regularly since “operation Beale” as Fat Amy called it, had officially begun. “Operation Beale”
really just consisted of all the Bellas bombarding Chloe the way they had Beca, asking her the
same questions, telling her how Beca felt and things she’d said, and telling her they should talk.
The first phone call had been awkward but necessary, with apologizing on both sides and laughter
about the Bellas meddling. After that, they had mostly texted, with a couple of calls in between.
Beca had told Chloe she was coming back to New York and wanted to see her when she had a
chance. That day was today.

Day 1271 became the day Beca realized how much she missed having Chloe in her life. Of course
she knew she missed her, but Beca didn’t know until then just how big a part of her life Chloe had
been. They were sitting in Chloe’s office having lunch, talking about their days when it hit Beca
out of nowhere. She had wasted 4 years not having days like this because she was scared. She
hadn’t been there for her best friend when who knew what she had gone through, because she
couldn’t accept her feelings. Beca started crying and Chloe looked at her concerned. She waved it
off, stating exhaustion, but Chloe immediately pulled her into a hug. She cried harder and
whispered to Chloe “I just missed you. More than I realized.” Chloe nodded and held her while
she cried.

Which brings Beca back to day one thousand, two hundred and eighty three. One million, eight
hundred fourty seven, five hundred and twenty minutes leading up to this moment. The moment
that Chloe Beale said yes to going on a date with her. The first time in four years that Beca could
breathe fully again. The moment Beca could feel that piece of her, the one that had been missing
all this time, slide back into place.

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