I would gladly pay I’m going to toss ICE to meet you.

This forest is full

you Tuesday for a this coin in the air. No wait— have of many dark and
hagburger today When it hits the an ICE day! No... powerful magics.
ground you are Look, I’m killing Be mindful of your
going to be dead you with ice. step. Also, no
or out of my sight. littering.
Choose wisely.

Adorable Ancient Baby Bewitched

The Northwest What if water had You are already I was once like
Manor can be a taste, but the TOO LATE! The only you... only more
found south of taste was really way to stop me attractive, better
would be destroying
the Eastling’s just our tongues, the phylactery on
trained, and not
southeast so we had no way that pedestal over currently standing
Northlands. of knowing? there. No, the other over a pit trap.
one. AHHHHHHHH
HOW COULD THIS
HAPPEN!?

Bitter Bossy Bratty Breathy

NOISY
Person Cards
Yes, feel free to My little sister is Everyone around Folks don’t come
trample your giant, level 12, but she here is so boring. ‘round here much
awful boots all over keeps insisting we I mean, sure, who anymore— not
my enchanted glen.
It’s not like I spent
call her level 12 doesn’t love laying since the dead
hours painstakingly and a half. Kids, waste to villages? rose from the
placing dew drops on right? But does no one earth, and bought
every blade of grass. else enjoy the up all the rental
opera? property.

Bubbly Buff Cackling Charming

Please don’t step I really wish Anyone who’s I saw the whole
on the grass; the people would stop taken ranks in thing, officer. The
druids keep calling acting like ravens psionics, raise my big guy hit the
it “earth fur,” and are smarter than hand. little guy. Then,
I’ve been feeling crows. Ravens the little guy
really guilty. ARE crows. Stop transformed into a
being bird elitist. bear, and threw a
barrel at the dead
guy. Victimless
crime.
Cocky Combative Conceited Concerned

NOISY
Person Cards
Tell you what. Catch a falling I am oathbound One of your
If you take the star and put it in to slay thee, parents must
enchanted horse, your rucksack. demon. I am also have been an Ifrit,
and the talking Forge it into an cursebound to because your
saddle, I’ll throw unbreakable +3 inform you that I body is smokin’!
in these fuzzy sword. am a dumb smelly
boxes of fate you jerk with a low
can hang on the WILL save.
horse’s mane.

Courageous Cowardly Creepy Dashing

I was once an May the Great If wishes were An idiom is worth

adventurer like Dragon Tyrant horses, our armies one thousand
you, but then bless you with his world swarm into puns.
a skinwalker merciful wrath. the kingdom of
hollowed out the hated elf. They
my insides and would tremble
assumed my at the feet of our
identity. Oops. mighty horse
golem.

Determined Disgusted Disgusting Draconic

NOISY
Person Cards
It’s like my mom That girl is And then I said, Sometimes, I look
always said, POOOISOOON... “If you want to at the moon and
“you can lead a No literally, she is see other people, wonder if the one
barbarian to war, a golem made out that’s fine. But, I am to love is
but you can’t of living poison. I am going to doing the same.
make her stop encase your heart Then I wonder
killing people once in stone until you if they ARE the
she’s raging.” give me back my moon and I have
books.” to free them. Love
is complicated.
Dramatic Dreamy Dutiful Dying

No, I am not going I’m sorry. The Is the child of a We thought we

to live in a volcano church of the sun centaur and a could distract
castle with a wyrm considers a human basically the Litch King
bunch of kobolds. plague of locusts a horse satyr? by making him
I didn’t spend to be an act of Horsetyr? Or battle the Vampire
eons unraveling god, so you are are they like a Queen. But darn it
the forbidden going to have to horse minotaur? if they didn’t fall in
truth to take care pay the 50 gold. Horsotaur? love.
of a bunch of
kobolds.
Enamored Enthusiastic Equine Extraplanar

NOISY
Person Cards
Maybe the real One time Ok, when you say, I taught you
treasure was the the king’s “a ton of dragons,” pyromancy, not
possible friends we quartermaster do you mean many mumble-mancy.
could have made
along the way. You
said, “Have a nice dragons, or like, Now speak up!
know, if we hadn’t quest,” and I said, one small dragon? Or so help me, I
killed all those “You too.” Which will find another
goblins. What I’m is why I’m now a orphan seeking
saying is, we need to swamp hermit. their destiny.
learn goblin.

High Famous Flustered Friendly

We all have a magical We all agree it You can get I have only seen
destiny. Steve was would be petty the keen blade a creature as
orphaned by wraiths. to leave Ferric’s without the beautiful as you
I have a crown-
shaped birthmark.
body, and sell his scabbard, but once before... it
I don’t care who +1 sword, but this there are no killed my parents.
you are, you are not is a +2 sword we’re refunds when it PREPARE TO DIE
getting into this club talking about here. cuts through your DEMON!
wearing those shoes. bag of holding and
you’re knee deep
in caltrops.
Furious Gelatinous Gentle Giant

NOISY
Person Cards
Nothing like a Oh yeah, well I’m What happens if you People tell you
life of adventure in love with you! summon a swarm that you don’t
on the high seas No, I was not of spiders in the want to know
spider dimension?
to make you aware this whole Do the spiders you’re
the date of your
reconsider your temple was a zone fighting switch death. And they
choices. What of truth! I would teams? Can you are right. It’s
was so bad about like to go cry befriend the entire awful.
scribing that it behind that altar spider dimension
made me runaway now! with low-level
summon spells?
from home?
Giddy Grumpy Half-Elf Half-Orc

Do you ever look If your “God” is so When I said, That’s “Zeplatimus

at the stars and great, then why do “lifetime supply of The Unyielding
think, “Wow, Neutral Evil things poison,” I meant Storm of the
there are so many happen to Chaotic “one dose of North” to you.
worlds that will Good people? poison.” It’s not I didn’t spend
eventually bow my fault you have seven years
to me. I must be a high CON. battling Gorfo
pretty great.” the unspoken to
be called “Mr.
Zeplatimus.”
Hectic Faint Hissing Impolite

NOISY
Person Cards
Sure when YOU I am not “splitting Do you ever look Oh sure, that
sew bodies back hairs” when I at the clouds and spike trap
together, it’s yell at you for think, “I’ll bet maintains flawless
called stitches, summoning a Pit there is an army functionality for
but when I Fiend instead of of cloud people hundreds of years,
do, it’s called an Archangel. up there waiting yet the clasp for
necromancy. Bias for us to drop our my cloak keeps
much? guard?” We march getting stuck.
on the skies at
dawn.
Injured Insane Inspirational Intellectual

Nobody asked me I should not And I’m like, “I What do you mean
to dress like this; have to justify would love your you threw away
they begged me. why “monstrous job.” You try and my bat guano!?
It makes me feel humanoid” is an think of an original
like a sexy force of offensive term. allegorical riddle
nature, so you can Change the form, every time some
leave your hang- or find someone jerkwad decides
ups at the door. else to guard your he wants to be
maze. immortal.

Leonine Lisping Lonely Loyal

NOISY
Person Cards
I don’t envy that And I said to There I am, If my job were
publisher. It is myself, “Korveth, cutting down easy, this place
going to take that tome of dwarves because would not be
a massive ad forbidden magics they scarred my literally made out
campaign to spin is not going to mountain, and I’m of bones.
“cheats at riddles” write itself.” like, “Oh my god,
into a heroic trait. I have become my
father.”

Magnificent Monotone Mumbling Muppet

Is that a dagger Oh DISSARM Hold my ale, I’m I hate that these

under your the trap! I heard going to cross that forbidden tomes
cloak, or did ALARM the trap. river in full plate. never include a
you come to yet Sorry! You have to glossary.
another dungeon admit though, we
unprepared? knew exactly when
that axe fell.

Nerdy Omniscient Polite Precocious

NOISY
Person Cards
I am not Is it still racist if Do you want If you prick me, do
responsible for I hate goblins, mummy rot? I not bleed? Well...
this. Friendly but don’t get a +1 Because that’s I don’t actually.
axeplay is part bonus to damage how you get This metaphor
of the terms for hating goblins? mummy rot. worked better
of service for when I had skin.
barbaric rage. The point is: I have
Now pick up your feelings.
leg, and walk it off.

Princely Uncomfortably Sexy Pubescent Rasping

Oh yeah, well Wait, sorry! You are not testing Crimson, black,
if the dark lord That fireball was well amongst and gold can be
wants the head of maximized, so you humans, but overbearing. But
the chosen one, are actually dead. you are through they just look so
he can provide the roof in the evil together, I
childcare while key goblin, can’t resist.
we sack the skeleton, and orc
countryside. demographics.

Romantic Sad Sardonic Scatterbrained

NOISY
Person Cards
You know what? Fire resistant The great Don’t ask me
I had the map armor is great, thing about a why, but a single,
upside down. This but you can counterspell is tiny spider in
is the Cavern of only get it dry- that you can the outhouse at
Pain, not the Cave cleaned, because counterspell spells night is still more
of Torment. Sorry, the elemental if they can be terrifying than
guys. resistance goes countered. the highest level
down if the color summon spider
fades. swarm.

Shifty Shrill Shy Sleepy

Wed, Bed, or I wonder how Do you think, now “What” is one of

Behead? The Lich many jingle that we use scry the most common
King, the Great writers are just boards all the words people say.
Dragon Tyrant, mindreaders time, we’ll arrange
or Jerkesius the trying to make the alphabet to
Jerkwad of the the world a bit scry board order?
West. less cluttered for
themselves.

Tipsy Smelly Sneaky Snooty

NOISY
Person Cards
Do you have ranks You look really You should be We’re having a
in medicine? I cute today; that able to drill down season-finale viewing
can’t tell if this is color accentuates on summon party, immediately
followed by a season-
a migraine, or a your eyes. swarm spells by premiere party. So,
psionic attack. correctly naming don’t forget your
the animal group. scythe; there’s a
For example, lot of corn to get
Procure Paddle through.
should summon
platypuses.
Sophisticated Spooky Squeaky Stammering

This hide armor We should really I worry about the John has a cute
doesn’t seem to either stop tower wizard. butt. Have you
be giving me any putting people in Someone should seen it? I assure
bonuses to sneak. graveyards, or do make sure she’s you it is very cute.
False advertising! something about ok, and that she’s
I want my money our necromancy not too lonely.
back. problem.

Stoic Street-smart Teenaged Tiny

NOISY
Person Cards
Ereminta just got How many gourds Red Lillend, Yellow You’re too late!
one of those cute could the orc lord Lillend, Lavender The prince is in
new rounded horde, if the orc Lillend. another castle.
horses with the lord could horde His lease expired.
flower vase built gourds? Let me get you
in. I’m insanely his forwarding
envious. address.

Slimy Proud Vain Vulpine

If someone is When life gives No, sir. Our farm is Blessings be

revived a year you lemons, kill possessed, which upon you. May
after they die, is the lemons for is why the ad you always have
that year reflected their XP. Farm the called it a Monster enough money to
in their age? lemons. Farm. You cannot pay your rent on
farm monsters time.
here.

Wacky Weeping Well-off Whispering

NOISY
Person Cards
We are quirky Actions speak Let’s turn it up No for real. I heard
supernatural louder than silent, to the hot, hot, the spell Appraise
investigators still metamagic hottest! It’s about doesn’t require
under a geas, spells. Please fight to get cray cray! a pearl to cast at
Miriam. If you call more quietly. all. Big Pearl’s just
our situation wierd in bed with the
again, I’m going to Magisterium.
scream.

Wise Wistful Woozy Pretentious

NOISY
Person Cards
 Animal Animated Arch Wizard of
Archdemon
Companion Puppet the Storm Tower

Baleful
Ascetic Polymorphed Bar Patron Bugbear
Wizard

NOISY
Person Cards
Catperson City Druid Con Artist Cultist

Fishperson
Gate Guard Gnome Grand Vizier
of Dagon

NOISY
Person Cards
 Head of the
Imp Insectoid Litch King
Palace Guard

Magical
Lizardfolk Magic Mirror Man in Tux
Trickster

NOISY
Person Cards
 Part Time
Ninja Assassin Peasant Pickpocket
Employee

Pixie Princess Satyr Schoolkid

NOISY
Person Cards
Shadow Sage Shoggoth Shop Clerk Skeleton

Two Children
in a Trench Coat
Talking Sword Talking Tree The Ocean
Pretending to be
One Adult

NOISY
Person Cards
 Werebear
Unicorn Vampire Werewolf
Royalty

Woman
Wizard’s
Disguised as a Angel Dragon
Apprentice
Young Man

NOISY
Person Cards