Art &

Solution Focused and Systemic Coaching for the 21st Century

think much
better
All rights reserved. All material contained in this booklet is the sole property
of Marilyn Atkinson. This booklet or parts thereof may not be
reproduced in any form without written permission of the publisher.
Revised February 28, 2019
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 COACH’S MANIFESTO....................................................................................................................................... 8
DON’T BE AFRAID TO FAIL................................................................................................................................ 9
THE INTERNATIONAL COACHING FEDERATION (ICF) CORE COMPETENCIES WHEEL .................................... 10

Setting the Foundation (Part One) .................................................................................................... 11

THE ART & SCIENCE OF COACHING: FOUR POWERFUL MODULES ................................................................ 13
COACHING VERSUS OTHER PROFESSIONS ..................................................................................................... 14
POWERFUL QUESTIONS ................................................................................................................................. 15
THE TRANSFORMATIONAL POWER OF YOUR LISTENING - THE THREE LEVELS OF LISTENING ...................... 16
LEVELS OF LISTENING ..................................................................................................................................... 18
ERICKSON COACH POSITION .......................................................................................................................... 19

Setting the Foundation (Part Two) .................................................................................................... 21

CULTIVATING TRUST AND SAFETY: RAPPORT SKILLS IN COACHING .............................................................. 23
THE BASIC SOLUTION-FOCUSED COACHING SESSION OUTLINE .................................................................... 26
ESTABLISHING A COACHING AGREEMENT: COACHING CONTRACTS ............................................................ 29
ELEMENTS OF THE COACHEE–COACH RELATIONSHIP ................................................................................... 31
COACHING AGREEMENT - CONTRACT CREATION WORKSHEET .................................................................... 33

Powerful Questioning (Part One)....................................................................................................... 35

THE SOLUTION-FOCUSED PLANNING QUESTIONS......................................................................................... 37
SOLUTION-FOCUSED SCALING QUESTIONS ................................................................................................... 38
WHAT ARE THE QUALITIES OF OPEN-ENDED QUESTIONS? ........................................................................... 41
FOUR STAGES OF LEARNING .......................................................................................................................... 42
Powerful Questioning (Part Two) ...................................................................................................... 45
THE OPEN-ENDED LINE EXERCISE – STEPS ..................................................................................................... 47
COMPLAINTS TO TRANSFORM TO USE IN PRACTICING COACHING CONVERSATIONS ................................. 48

Powerful Questioning (Part Three) ................................................................................................... 51

THE FIVE SOLUTION-FOCUSED ERICKSONIAN PRINCIPLES ............................................................................ 53
THE OUTCOME FRAME: POWERHOUSE GOAL SETTING ................................................................................ 53
FOUR PROJECT DEVELOPEMENT STEPS TO MEMORIZE ................................................................................ 55
THE OUTCOME FRAME STEPS TO MEMORIZE ............................................................................................... 55
5 SOLUTION-FOCUSED ERICKSONIAN PRINCIPLES WORKSHEET ................................................................... 56

Powerful Questioning (Part Four) ...................................................................................................... 57

DESIGNING ACTIONS AS OUTCOME-FOCUSED TASKS ................................................................................... 59

The Brain And Visualization (Part One)...................................................................... 61

CREATION AWARENESS WITH THE LOGICAL LEVELS EXPLORATION ............................................................. 63
KEY ASPECTS OF LOGICAL LEVELS EXPLORATION .......................................................................................... 65
LOGICAL LEVELS AS A COACHING FRAMEWORK ........................................................................................... 67
LOGICAL LEVELS AS A COACHING PROCESS ................................................................................................... 69
LOGICAL LEVEL COACHING WORKSHEET ....................................................................................................... 70
THE LEADERSHIP PIPELINE ............................................................................................................................. 72

The Brain and Visualization (Part Two) ........................................................................................... 73

THE BRAIN AND THE MIND ............................................................................................................................ 75
FUNCTIONS OF THE BRAIN SYSTEMS ............................................................................................................. 81
THE IMPORTANCE OF VISUALIZATION & MENTAL REHEARSAL ..................................................................... 83
EXPLORING ASSUMPTIONS: VISUALIZATION TOOLS FOR MANAGING FEAR................................................. 86
THE ‘AS-IF’ FRAME: PRESUMING FUTURES .................................................................................................... 90
‘AS-IF’ FRAME EXAMPLES............................................................................................................................... 96
‘AS-IF’ FRAME WORKSHEET ......................................................................................................................... 101
THREE BRAIN SYSTEMS WORKSHEET ........................................................................................................... 103
LEFT/RIGHT HEMISPHERES AND CORPUS CALLOSUM WORKSHEET ........................................................... 104
The Brain and Visualization (Part Three) ...................................................................................... 105
A VALUE-BASED SELF IMAGE ....................................................................................................................... 107
THE VALUE-BASED SELF IMAGE EXERCISE - STEPS....................................................................................... 109

Solution-Focused Communication............................................................................................... 10511

FAILURE FRAME VS. FEEDBACK FRAME ....................................................................................................... 113
EFFECTIVE FEEDBACK ................................................................................................................................... 114
HOW TO GIVE GOOD FEEDBACK .................................................................................................................. 115
HOW TO RECEIVE FEEDBACK ....................................................................................................................... 116
GETTING USEFUL FEEDBACK ........................................................................................................................ 117
THE PARADOXES OF NEGATIVE FEEDBACK .................................................................................................. 118
USING YOUR COACHING VOICE FOR MAXIMUM IMPACT ........................................................................... 120
CREATIVE TONES DISTINCTIONS .................................................................................................................. 121
FOUR CREATIVE TONES FUNCTIONS ............................................................................................................ 122

................................................................................................................................................ 123
THE THREE HATS / THREE CHAIRS EXERCISE: AIMING FOR IDEAS ............................................................... 125
THREE HATS / THREE CHAIRS EXERCISE SUMMARY .................................................................................... 127
THE THREE HATS EXERCISE ILLUSTRATION .................................................................................................. 129
BUDDY COACH OBSERVER FORM................................................................................................................. 130
- Theodore Roszak
- Published in the Wall Street Journal by United Technologies Corporation
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 The first module covers the basic coach approach, what coaching is and isn’t, coach
position, the importance of holding coach position and the coaching process step-by-step.
Module I is also known as the ‘inspiration’ module and seeks answers to the question,
“What do I want to achieve?”

The focus of Module II is on implementation and processes. It provides a new relationship

with strategy, planning, execution and time—at the same time seeking answers to the
question, “How might I achieve it?”

The topics of this module include commitment and values, raising awareness of how values
enable us to commit to following through on a project. We also address how to handle
objections that may arise. Here we seek answers to the questions, “How can I continue
with commitment?” and, “Why is it important for me to be doing this?”

This is the completion and integration module. Here we focus on how people experience
success, finding answers to the questions, “How do I complete?” and, “How will I know
when I’ve achieved it?” At the same time, we move through completion of the four training
modules including testing of skills and competencies in which the topics of all four modules
fall into place to complete the bigger picture of integrated Solution Focused Coaching.

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 Powerful Questions:

• Are authentic and come from a sincere desire to learn.

• Are clear. A powerful concise question is followed by a pause.

• May be followed by a deliberate silence which demonstrates the coach’s or the

manager’s sincere intention to listen.

• Are supportive in tone (tone is extremely important); to minimize the possibilities of

triggering people’s defensive reactions.

• Are phrased in such a way as to genuinely invite the person to offer his or her best
response.

• May sometimes specify the question, “Why is this important to you?” This is an
important question that leads to Values exploration. Other kinds of ‘why’ questions
may close the conversation because they often trigger defensiveness and push
people into justifying or rationalizing mode.

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 When you consider that the key reason for misunderstandings and miscommunication is often
because we each sort what we hear according to what it means to us and how we perceive the
world.

Listening is one of the keys to effective communication and transformational Conversations,

yet most of us listen on a surface or automatic level as we go through the activities of our
day-to-day life.

Take a moment and think of a time when you really felt heard. Recall when someone
listened to you and heard what was really important to you on the deepest level. What was
this experience like? Being listened to in such a way can be awe-inspiring. Honing your
listening skills is an absolute requirement for effective communication and transformational
conversations.
Consider three levels or ways of listening.

In Level 1 listening, you listen internally at the content level. You respond automatically
according to your own internal processing—meaning you respond according to how you
think, feel, and understand what is being said.

A valuable analogy is to think of a spotlight. Picture someone speaking with the spotlight on
him, sharing what he thinks and feels. Now see the spotlight shifting so that you can share
what you think and feel about what he said. The spotlight goes back and forth until the
conversation is complete. It is how a majority of us tend to listen. The standard listening
mode we do most of the time is personal, automatic, and reflexive.

At Level 1, we may make positive or negative judgments about the person with whom we
are conversing. We do not really hear the person; we mostly hear the prior opinion we
already have or how we perceive what he is saying. For this reason, major
miscommunications happen because listening is more about the listener than about the
speaker.

Level 2 listening is very different from that of Level 1. At this level, we begin to listen
carefully to the other person according to what is most important to them, and we engage
in focused, attentive listening from this value structure. With structural listening, we notice
person is now and what they want to move toward? To refer to the spotlight analogy again,

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 when the speaker is sharing, and you are listening with Level 2 ears, the spotlight is on the
speaker the whole time. When he or she speaks, you do not let your mind automatically
trigger its insights, good or bad judgments, or personal responses. You focus warmly on
what the speaker is saying.

Level 2 listening comes from a place of deep honoring and caring, and in turn tends to
produce a profound level of rapport, because the person feels truly heard. When you, the
listener, turn off your internal dialogue, judgments, opinions, and suggestions—and focus
on the person and what he or she is wanting, needing, or feeling—transformational
conversations and integral change start to become possible.

Level 3 listening has been called global or contextual listening because from this level we
listen for the formation of a meaningful, congruent, and ecological life. This means that it is
possible to develop an understanding of the universal or far-reaching context for anything
being said. It is a frame for listening in mythic proportions.

Level 3 listening notices more than just the words; it follows the fine distinctions of
tonality, mood, pacing, energy, and emotion behind the words. Global listening naturally
encompasses Level 2 listening and moves beyond it in scope to frame the unfolding
development of the person’s life through time. Level 3 provides a thumbnail to the inner
commitments the person is building that tie together the sinews of a lifetime. It provides a
framework for the awareness of destiny and design and for welcoming the larger vision.

The next time you are in a situation when you are listening, begin to gently notice where
you are putting the spotlight throughout the conversation. This awareness will help build
your deep listening skills.

• Is it on you or on the other person?

• Notice whether you are listening from Level 1, Level 2, or Level 3.

• How might listening from Level 2 or 3 more often transform your relationships and
life? How will listening to yourself in this way serve you?

• Who might you become when you listen more at Levels 2 or 3?

Consider trying it out in the world. Experience the transformational power of your own
listening.

- Special thanks to Laura Whitworth

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 In coach position, you operate as an interested, caring, yet impartial observer whose sole
purpose for being in the conversation is to support another person in being, doing, and
having what he or she wants.

In the role of coach, you release all of your own preferences, judgments, opinions, and
suggestions as to how or what you think about the situation or what the answers are.
Coach position looks out from beyond-position thinking to holding the wholeness of life.
This, in turn, develops a true flow state; the flow of observational awareness, which
dispenses with emotional reactions and produces a calm overview.

Coach position encourages open-ended questions to inspire inquiry and wide-angled

discussion and find rich and relevant meaning via reflection. In coach position, it is clear
that there is no platform for giving advice. The stage is set only for assisting both individual
and group to manifest their widest possible range of expanded thinking.

Taking coach position in any of your own inner conversations means searching for the most
expanded framework and the deepest center of inner truth from which to explore what is
going on in your life. In other words, coach position is always moving, is wider than, yet
central to, seeing the whole landscape.

As we take coach position, we support the coachee to become open to multiple maps and
different ways of thinking and being without judgment. This enables our coachees to get
the most value from coaching. As we hold the space for the coachee to reveal all possible
paths, we become more and more curious from this expanded posture. We ask questions to
reveal the richer qualities of each person’s aim as he or she explores the depth of
possibility through the dialogue.

Coach position is established when you, the coach, think and act from the five Erickson
Principles. This means you adopt a viewing, listening, and questioning lens that begins with
honoring each person in five specific ways:

1. You notice how he/she is truly okay just as he or she is; the ‘okayness principle.’
2. You notice how he/she has all the inner resources required to be a success.
3. You notice that every behavior has a positive intention (no matter what it looks like
on the surface).
4. You note that he/she is doing the best he/she can with what is available in the
moment and deserves no blame, shame, or reproach.

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 You notice how change is happening in each moment. You listen for coachees being
in growth mode and becoming more aware of who they are on every level and layer,
and in every area and aspect of their lives.

By remaining conscious of these principles, the coach relaxes with the coachee’s wider
potential. In turn, the coachee leaves behind stagnant beliefs and thoughts and steps into
fresh realms of choice.

Coach position might be described as being like the pivotal gear in an amazingly beautiful,
complex, and precise instrument made up of many moving parts. From the inside, it
organizes the capacity for all parts and perspectives of the system to be beneficial and to
work in harmony. From the outside, it offers a broadened perspective and the awareness of
interconnectedness. From coach position, the coach sees life unfolding as much more than
the sum of its parts.

When you consciously enter and operate from coach position, inner shifts take place. Your
experience is a neutral, detached, and nonjudgmental perspective from which to relax and
explore a whole system, including the box of inner riches we are all sitting on in some way
in our lives.
When you declare yourself in coach position, you make a commitment to yourself and, by
virtue, declare open awareness in the conversation. You listen from the widest possible
frame of awareness. Coach position then provides access to a neutral viewing and listening
frame that moves beyond the content of the conversations and into the deeper structure
and revelations. This also means you declare a state of global awareness of this person and
can now offer both structured and global listening.

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 Examples:

• I’d really like to know if you could tell me how that relates to increasing sales.
• I find myself curious how that can further our outcome.
• Correct me if I’m wrong here, but. . .
• I wonder if you would tell me. . .
• As you speak to me, I find myself wondering...
• Have you noticed that...
• Are you aware that...
• It’s interesting that...
• Would you mind telling me...

Backtracking is a powerful rapport tool. It means feeding back and/or summarizing

information to the coachee (or group with whom you are interacting) about what you think
was communicated to you. The skill becomes more powerful as you learn to ‘pace’ the
coachee, by matching their gestures and using their tone, tempo, volume, pitch and criteria
language.

When backtracking, it is important to continually adjust your own behavior based on the
responses you are getting from the coachee (cybernetic communication). You become a
‘feedback’ mechanism, allowing the coachee’s behaviors to drive your responses.

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 Backtrack if there is a specific need for careful listening so that you get a congruent
agreement response from the coachee. Also, look and listen for little pieces that are
incongruent. They may contain important information.

Backtrack when you become confused. Confusion is a signal to backtrack.

Backtracking clarifies for you what you are understanding, and it offers the coachee greater
awareness and clarity.

• Let me be clear about this...

• Let me see if I’ve got it right...
• In other words...Is that correct?
• Now I think that we agreed that... Am I right? Did I get all the points?
• So, what you are basically telling me is ... Is that correct?
• I want to simply backtrack for a moment...
• These are the things that were done so far.... What remains to be done?
• I understand that what you want is... and what you now have is...
• Let’s review the important information that we have covered so far.

Recapping is shortened backtracking with a focus on the value-words used as areas of

‘importance,’ words that the person speaks with tonal emphasis. We repeat specific
‘importance words’ with the same emphasis used by the person.

The Manager says: “Right now we need to streamline the production on line B so that we
can get everyone out of each other’s hair. We’ve got to smooth the
transfer points and bring some ease to the process and I am trying to
figure out how to do that.”
You say: “So, you want to streamline and smooth the process?”

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 This frame is particularly appropriate for maintaining rapport during business questioning.
It is a mini-backtrack frame.

Examples:

• keeping you informed through our regular mail outs, I would like to receive your
address and telephone number...
• writing my report, I would like to know...

• we can get to the solution very quickly, I would like…

• we can make our decision, would you inform me of...

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 Estimated time: 30-60 minutes

• Warmth
• Match tone and energy
• Use of softeners and backtracking

• What do you want to accomplish in this 30 (45, 60) minutes? What would be the
very best use of your time?
• Coachee describes challenges. Coachee focuses on aims, values, commitments and
passions.
• If necessary, shift toward customer mode from complainer/visitor mode.

• What do you want?

• How will you know if you’ve got it?
• Why is it important? How might you really be sure to make this happen? How might
you take it further? What commitments are needed?
• How might/will you get it?

• Positive?
• Within coachee’s control?
• S.M.A.R.R.T. Goals? (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, Relevant, Timed)
• Ecological? (Fits with all other goals of the coachee)

• Possible exercises: Scaling on paper, Logical Level’s diagram with questions, As-If
frame, miracle questions, simple wheels, brainstorming.
• Occasionally link to an ‘experience’ or process which may be relevant every month or
so to encourage self-development. Do this if it is relevant and truly fits the needs of
the coachee and will produce the best, immediate result for the stated outcome.
Such processes might include Mastery Walk, Vision Walk, Tri-Position Planning,
Three Chairs Hats exercise, specialty wheels, Mentor’s Table, Time Management
Models, Urgent vs. Important, Value-based Self Image, or Core Alignment process as
well as others that are specifically useful for the coachee.

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 • Considering our work today, and your short and long-term goals, what actions are
you willing to commit to this week? What will you undertake to accomplish this?

Note the 5-minute warning: “We have just 5 minutes now until our session will end...”

• What was the value of this session for you? What are your wins from this session?

• Possible logical levels close:

Who? (Who you are…)

Why? (The values you’re demonstrating are…)

How? (You have skills in…. You’re building skills in…)

What? (You are taking action to move towards…)

Where, When? (I am inspired because this week on _____ you

are committed to…)

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 The financial contract, or long-term coaching contract, is the basic agreement that starts a
series of sessions. Most coaches request that the coachee sign a three to six-month
coaching contract. However, as a student coach, a one-month contract may be worthwhile.
The contract may include agreements that allow the coach to audiotape all sessions for his
or her own private self-development (and for no other purpose) and gives information
regarding the confidentiality policy.

The agreement begins by answering questions, both written (see sample package) and
through conversation. The answers to these questions specify the coachee’s various aims,
purposes and desires for entering a coaching relationship in addition to expectations and
the commitment between the coach and coachee.

Frequently, a coach will start by establishing a coaching binder for a new coachee. It is
useful to dedicate a separate page in this binder for each long-term coaching aim the
coachee has. Some coaches use one binder to hold all of the coachee’s information. If you
prefer this approach, create a section in your current coaching binder for your new
coachee. Then, after each coaching session, update his or her binder (or binder section)
and note all changes and results. Review this binder briefly before each coaching
conversation with this coachee. Make sure to keep a copy of all maps and diagrams used,
especially wheels and metaprogram jot sheets. It is also important to have a well-
understood accounting system.

Contained in the long-term contract is the day-to-day coaching contract. This session-by-
session “agreement to accomplish ______” is best established in the first moments of
every session. The daily coaching contract marks the formal beginning of the session. For
example, a coaching contract might sound like this:

“Okay, now, we have 40 minutes today together. What do you believe would be the most
important thing to accomplish today?”

“What do you believe is the best use of our time today? We have 30 minutes together.
What’s next for you?”

“What do you feel would be the very best use of our session today?”

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 There are different kinds and levels of rapport. As coaches, deep rapport comes when we
recognize that the coachees have important aims. We assist them as they commit to
making contracts weekly, monthly and beyond, taking the longest possible frame, to
support the coachees to achieve these aims. We gain the trust of people when we
acknowledge their vision and agenda with a basic coaching contract early in each session.
This allows the coachees to focus from the deepest level of being in each coaching
conversation.

Do a quick backtrack:

• We have explored how you are doing with (1, 2, 3, and 4…)
• You have been setting goals and achieving them…
• What’s today’s session for?
• What are the key challenges?
• What would be the most important use of your time and energy in the next 30
minutes?

These questions completely re-establish the coachee as the captain of his or her own ship
by connecting to his or her purpose and priorities. Even if the person has given you a list of
medium-term and short-term goals in their original package, your aim, as a coach, is to
keep the session-by-session coaching agenda or prioritizing process in the hands of the
coachee. They are the experts in their own life.

As the coachee proceeds with on-going coaching, some aims may drop away, and other
aims may move from lesser to greater importance. As a coach, you need to be interested in
the coachee’s goal-adjustment process yet reaffirm the coachee’s total ownership of this
process.

In your week-to-week session work, it is usually best when we refrain from rigidity, as in,
“You said you would do and yet you haven’t...” Instead, probe gently as to the current
priorities.

“How do you plan to organize your priorities at this point? I notice they have shifted
somewhat. What’s next?”

“I’m curious why you have dropped x, y and z. Would you mind telling me the reason?”

“What do you consider most important at this point?”

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 In coaching, we are creating a relationship. When meeting a new coachee, we may wish to
clarify what assumptions, from the coachee, frame this new relationship? Specifically, “Is
this person a real coachee for me?” In other words, is this person interested in achieving
the negotiated result? Is this person highly motivated to do something to get the result?

Visitors are people who do not have a desire to alter things. Perhaps they are responding to
an advertised free session. Perhaps they are only curious. Perhaps the person is speaking
with you only because someone (advisor, friend or superior) has told him or her to do so.
In other words, their attendance is involuntary, and they may feel obliged. It is possible
that this person does not even recognize that there is a specific coaching goal to achieve.

There is no expectation or desire for change. Often a person with hidden agendas or very
private concerns can be found in this category.

• Look for strengths or positive points.

• Give compliments, appreciate.
• Do not assign tasks.

A complainer is someone with a complaint and a desire to achieve a goal by altering things,
but who is not yet ready to take the necessary action to get their desired result. They may
believe that results are impossible or too difficult. They may have tried before and been
stymied.

• Recognize the need to open up choices. A complainer is momentarily not ready to

make a contract for change.
• Give observation or overview tasks.
• Ask as-if questions, and possibly button / doorway / or miracle questions.

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 A customer is someone who is a creator and is ready and willing to do something about the
desired aim.

• Give direct tasks with confidence that the coachee will do the task and find it useful.

It is important to notice each coachee’s orientation to the conversation early in the

exchange. A coachee-coach relationship can develop hugely in only one coaching session.
The response to tasks and projects is a good indication of an emerging customer who now
believes a specific desired result is achievable.

A coach should ‘reframe’ towards curiosity. Results are possible. Often it is a good idea to
let people with a visitor approach go and work only with customers and people with a
complaint focus. These people are engaged even if complaining. Ideally, a temporary
complainer becomes a customer, however the reverse is also possible.

Compliment/Appreciate Observe, Think, Explore Do

• If the relationship is not clear (between A or B), choose A.

• If the relationship is not clear (between B or C), choose B.

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 Contract creation becomes stronger with the key elements below:

Aim: To get an outcome for the session. Contract (Session Topic/Focus)

“What do you want to accomplish in these 30 (45, 60) minutes?”

“What would be the very best use of your time?”

“Just suppose it is now 30 minutes later and you got a result that is of value to you, what
would that be?”

Followed by:

Aim: To get the measurable of the outcome.

_________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________

Aim: To get the value (the motivator) for that outcome.

“Why is it important for you to have that outcome?”

“What would that give you that is important to you?”

“What would be the benefits to you and others if you had that?”

_________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________

Aim: To confirm the coaching agreement.

“So are you saying that you want ________________________________ (outcome from
Answer #1 above) so that you can then have_________________, _______________
(values/benefits from Answer #2 above)? Is this what you want by the end of our session?”

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 Is the above
If not, you can ask:

“If you didn’t have this consideration, or difficulty, what would you be doing instead?”

“What would you actually prefer to have happen around this situation?”

“If you could have it any way you’d like, what would you be doing / having / being /
instead?”

“How would you know if you’ve got your result? What might you see, hear, feel, etc.?”

Is the above
If not, you can ask: “What IS within your control?”

Is the above
(Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, Relevant, Timed). If not, you can ask:

Not Specific: “What specific area (element, task) of this project would have the most
significant impact if you were to work on it?”

Not Measurable: “How would you know that you achieved this outcome?” “What would
be the evidence?” “How much?” “How many exactly?”

Achievable/Realistic: “Given your current circumstances, is this goal achievable for

you?” “Given your current circumstances, is this goal realistic for you?” Or “On a scale
of one to ten….”

Relevancy Check: “Is this goal really relevant to what you want?”

Not Timed: “By when do you want this outcome?”

Is the goal
If not sure, you can ask:

“Is it good for the people in your life/work/that are important to you?”

“What are the wider consequences of achieving Outcome X?”

“How does this fit the rest of your life?”

“Who else is affected and how will they be impacted? What will you have to give up to
achieve this outcome?”

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 Use the Outcome Frame to support and inform each of the Four Planning questions with
any coaching session. These can be queried in any order after the first question, and the
language adapted to the person and the session. When used together, these supply the
foundation for solution-focused coaching conversations. As coaches, you will notice your
coachee’s inner resources emerge as they begin to move towards their highest aims.

• What challenges interest you today?

• What are you moving towards? Why do you want it (values)?
• Is the contract stated in the positive?
• Is it within the coachee’s control?

• If you had it already, what would you have?

• What would it look like, feel like, sound like, act like?
• Evidence procedure. How will you know you are on track with getting what you want?

• Contingency planning/Risk Management—What other ways can you get what you
want? Are these within the coachee’s control? Do they rely on changing others to get
the desired outcome?
Ecology check—is it good for people? What are the wider consequences of achieving
Outcome X? How will this affect your life? Who else is affected and how will they feel?
What will you give up to achieve this outcome?

• BE, DO, HAVE! Who do you need to be to get what you want? What do you need to
do to get it? What do you need to have to get it?
• S.M.A.R.R.T. Goals– Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, Relevant, Timed.
• What is the first step you can take now?

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 Effective coaches support coachees in getting clear on where they are right now and where
they want to go at any given moment. Scaling is a powerful technology that ‘checks in’ with
the coachee and allows them to rate along a continuum where they are with the
conversation.

Many different types of things can be rated in a coaching conversation. For example: On a
scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the highest, and 1 being the lowest:

• Imagine a scale from 1 to 10, where 1 is minimal satisfaction with the project and
10 is total satisfaction with the project. Where are you right now?

1 10

• Just suppose you moved one step ahead, what would you be doing differently?

• In 3 months, what would you like your level of satisfaction to be with this project?

1 10

• Rate the level of importance this project has.

o What happened in the recent past that went a little bit in the direction of what?
o You now want? Where were these examples on the scale?
o What were you doing in the examples that you rated higher on the scale that
you?
o Were not doing in the examples that were lower on the scale? And what else?

• How satisfied are you with this result?

o What exactly are you going to do differently when you are at x? And what else?

o After this conversation, what would be a first change that allows you to really
see you have already started taking the next step?

• How committed are you to following through with this?

• How comfortable are you with this approach?

o How will the people around you know that you are at x?

o And how else?

• How did you manage to move as far as you have moved already?

• How happy are you with the result you got?

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 • I am curious, what happened recently to move you in the direction you want to go
on this scale?

• What might you do now to move one tiny step up that scale?

• If you were to make one small step up the scale, what might you be emphasizing?

• Just suppose it was the end of three months and you were at X right now, how do
you know you are at X? What do you see, hear or feel that proves you are at this
place?

• What exactly are you doing differently now that you are at X?

• How excited are you to take action here?

• How great are you being in this relationship when you are x?

• How fulfilling is this approach?

• How much of a priority is this for you right now?

• Who else and what else is affected by what you are doing when you are at X? And
what else?

• How will the people around you know that you are at X? And how else?

• Looking back from X, what motivated you to move towards X? What skills did you
build that support you in getting where you are now? What steps did you take that
got you to X?

• How much chance do you give this (communication challenge, project, business
endeavor) of working out?

o Where are you now on a scale of 1 to 10? (Imagine the coachee’s response is
‘5’) What is the difference between being at ‘5’ and not at ‘1’? What were the
most important milestones?

o What would other important people say are the things that you are doing now
at ‘5’ that you should definitely keep doing?

• How much do you desire to transform this situation, from 1 to 10?

o On a (different) scale of 1 to 10, how confident are you that you are going to
get one notch higher? Or, what can we do now to make your confidence go one
notch higher? Or, what is giving you hope and confidence now that you are
going to move up one notch on the scale?

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 • How much do you desire to transform this current difficulty with__________ (this
communication, this marriage, this project, this department, business or business
community)?

• What would your_________ (team players, colleagues, project leaders, friend,

mother, husband) say if they were doing the scaling?

• How much chance do you give this (communication challenge, project, business
endeavor, etc.) of working out?

• What would it take to move from 5 to 6 on your scale?

• What would you be doing differently when your scale moves from 6 to 7? 7 to 8? Or
at 10?

• What would_________ (colleagues, project leaders, team players, father, wife,

friend) likely say you have to do to move from 5 to 6?

• How would your (project, relationship, situation) be different when you reach 8?

• What would your__________ (colleagues, team players, father, wife, friend,

supervisor) notice you are doing differently when you reach 8?

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 Multiple answers, plurals Answers are already known
Cause people to think ‘beyond’, ‘go further’ Conclusions are fixed
and ‘explore deeply’

Expands toward futures Past conclusions are made present, now

Nonjudgmental Leading questions

Can scale openness from 1 to 10 Yes or No

(From) Where are you now?
(From) What is one way…?
(From) How do you view that?
(From) How could we do it?
(From) How might we get an idea?
(From) Is there a way?
(From) What can we do?
(From) One result today?
(to) What might be one small way you could start?
(to) What are some further ways? How might you
begin?
(to) Instinctively, how do you experience that
opening up?
(to) How else might we do it?
(to) How might we begin to get some great ideas?
(or) What might be the best choice?
(to) Let’s find some great ways.
(to) How can we get what we really want?
(to) How could we systemize, maximize, or
optimize the results?

Ask: “Tell me a little more about that …” or “What is happening with you at this moment?”

“Suppose you were to go further? What is next?”

“What are some of the best ways you might find…?”

Study open-ended as compared to either/or or yes/no questions. Notice how there is a flow
of options, choices and directions, leading to optimums. Expand even the optimum.

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 Sharing this information with the coachee supports him or her to recognize the stage of
learning he or she is in. The coach can support the coachee to manage his or her STATE
through the learning process.

The Learning Zone is when the perceived difficulty roughly matches the perceived
resources, and the Anxiety Zone is when the perceived difficulty is much greater than the
perceived resources.

The coachee doesn’t know and s/he doesn’t know that s/he doesn’t know. Ask the coachee
to think of an activity he or she does well now. At one time in the coachee’s life, s/he did
not know anything about the activity and was likely not even aware that s/he did not know
it.

The coachee practices the skill but knows that s/he is not good at it yet. Although this
stage is challenging, the coachee will learn quickly at this stage, because the less s/he
knows about something, the greater the room for improvement.

The coachee has the skill, but it is not yet consistent or habitual. This is a satisfying part of
the process, however, improvement is challenging and concentration is required. The better
the coachee gets, the less noticeable the gain.

Now the skills are habitual or automatic for the coachee, so the conscious mind can focus
on other things while the coachee demonstrates the skill.

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 It is useful to point out these four stages when the coachees have difficulty with any new
skill set they wish to develop. These four steps can be used to notice stages in any skill
development, from riding a bicycle or learning a computer program.

In your mind’s eye, you may see these steps as stairs. The most difficult stair is that of
‘conscious incompetence’. At this second stair, many people find it difficult to move past
their ‘imperfections’ when learning any new practice. We need to assist the coachees to
maintain their inner self-value while practicing through the ‘hard part’.

We are always ‘failing forward’. Declare victory with any developmental level, practice, and
then move on. If anything is truly worth learning, it is worth doing badly at the beginning!

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 - Created by Marilyn Atkinson

For example, the coachee is stuck in a complaint, such as, “Why can’t we get effective
customer care in this company?” The Open-Ended Line takes the coachee from singularly
focusing on the problem to generating multiple solutions by incrementally opening the
question up step-by-step.

1. Coach begins by inviting the coachee to word the complaint as a question if they
haven’t already.
2. Coach invites coachee to imagine a line on the floor representing the Open-Ended
Line and a second representing the negative complaint line as it is shown in the
handout. Markers are used to represent both ends of each line. Coach explains to the
coachee what both lines represent. Coach informs that the Open-Ended Line
stretches as a scale from one to ten, where one represents slightly open-ended and
ten represents highly open-ended.
3. Coach invites coachee to stand on either line where it is most a match to their
coachee’s complaint or question.
4. Coach invites coachee to shift from the complaint question towards more positive and
slightly open-ended by asking, “What do you really want…?” Coach listens for
answers and ensures the coachee is standing on the appropriate location on the line
that matches their answers. If the coachees’ answers are negative, for instance, they
are invited to stand on the negative line.
5. Coach continues to encourage coachee to explore the various steps on the Open-
Ended Line from one and continuing forward. Each question moves the coachee
further up the line to about a seven or eight. The coach continues to open up the
questions, making it more open, interesting and useful for the coachee. It is useful to
stand or sit beside the coachee, showing them their self-suggestions on a wheel or
list. Coach supports going as far to the end of the Open-Ended Line as they are
comfortable. The sequence of questions up the Open-Ended Line may go like this:

“What do you really want?”

“How might you…?”
“What might be the one step you can take to…?”
“What are some of the ways (plural) you might begin to…?”
“What are some of the best (most, strongest) ways to begin to…?”
“What might be some of the best ways you can develop next (developing further)…?”
“What are some of the ways you can maximize, optimize, sustain…?”

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 • The OK-ness Principle
• The person has all the resources necessary
• Every behavior has a positive intention
• The person is making the best choice possible
• Change is not only possible, but inevitable

Communicating without an outcome is like taking a trip without a destination. As coaches,

we use the Outcome Frame to evaluate if the coachee is on track and taking action on the
necessary steps to reach the goal.

1. Outcome is stated in the positive.

2. Outcome is within individual’s control and maintained by self.

3. Outcome is a sensory-based description and testable. It has specific, measurable

results. It is appropriately contextualized and appropriately timed. Goals are
S.M.A.R.R.T. (specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, relevant and timed).

4. Outcome is ecological. All consequences of achieving the outcome are examined.

Outcome needs to fit into the overall plan (both short and long-term goals) of the
individual (or group). In other words, it is good for all concerned.

1. They are stated in the positive. “What do you want instead of what do you not
want?”

2. They are within the individual’s control.

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 : “How might you get it? How would you know if you were getting
your outcome? What would you be doing to get it?”

Specify the present situation and view the path from the present state to the desired state.

: “Is what you are doing relevant to what you want?”

Use this to check relevancy of information in terms of coachee’s statement of outcome. This
keeps him or her on target. As the coach, you need to make distinctions between what you
need to know and need to not know. Too much information can distract you from a
targeted action.

3. There is a testable, sensory-based description, and a specific, measurable result.

“What do you need to get the outcome? What step can you take now? How will you
know if you get what you want?”

As-If Frame: “As if you could...” or “Just suppose...”

Go into the future as though the person already has their outcome. Looking backward from
the future, use this viewpoint as the larger frame to gather information and test for a well-
formed outcome. Appropriately contextualized: By when, where, with whom do you want
it?

4. They allow the coachee to check for ecology. What is good for everyone? They allow
the coachee to examine the consequences of achieving the outcome and if it’s good
for people. They fit into the overall plan (both short and long-term) of the individual
or group.

• How will this affect your life?

• Does not having this outcome benefit you? What else works? (Positive by-
products)
• Is there a dovetail with the ecology of others?
• How do your outcomes and another person’s fit best together?

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 ____________________

____________________

____________________

___________________ ____________________

____________________ ____________________

____________________ ____________________

____________________ ____________________

____________________ ____________________

____________________ ____________________

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 Original ideas developed by Steve de Shazer

We often design tasks to fit an individual’s learning edge so that the new solutions evolve
from doing the task. A task should be as simple as possible, uncomplicated, and
interesting. Most important, it should be designed so it will be done. The coachee becomes
engaged in his or her own results when designing a task and how it is to be carried out in
relation to his or her model of the world. We are assisting the coachee to make and keep
commitments.

“Between now and the next time we work together, observe what happens in your ongoing
work with ______________that you want to continue to happen.”

This assignment is designed to shift the coachee’s focus from the past to the present and
future. It implicitly promotes expectations of change.

• It orients the coachee toward the positive and helps to uncover positive trends, which
the coach can encourage.
• It also helps in the discovery and the creation of ‘exceptions’ to the former problem
‘rule’. These ‘exceptions’ can be used to construct solutions that now create the
‘exceptions’ as the ‘rule’.
• The assumption is that something worth continuing to have happen is going to
happen, and the coachee can discover it.

“Observe what happens when you overcome the urge to...” (criticize, etc.).

• This task helps the coachee to identify and/or construct ‘exceptions’ to the difficulty
and increases the amount of time spent on solutions.
• It helps the coachee to communicate positively.
• The assumption is that exceptions do and will continue to happen.

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 “Between now and the next time we talk, do something different in response to this
situation, and then tell me what happened.”

• Use this task when the coachee complains about another (supervisor, colleague,
family member, friend) and says he or she has tried everything.
• It is useful when the coachee is stuck in the same pattern of ‘acting and reacting’ to
another individual.

“Identify the ways you are able to keep doing what works (behaviors which are exceptions
to less flexible former responses) and notice what’s different.”

“Let’s predict when the valuable exceptions will happen. The aim is to find exceptions
leading to the discovery of real effectiveness.”

“On a scale of one to ten, predict your effectiveness in what you will experience the next
day. Then the following evening, evaluate your day and see if there is a difference between
what you have predicted and what happened. Explain the difference.”

• This task focuses on exceptions. Also, it is a skillfully indirect way to help the person
make the link between behaviour and experience.
• It can also trigger desired behaviour. This is the implicit expectation of the possibility
of change.

“Pretend to experience a small part of the solution or experiment with the desired
resolution.”

• As a coach, compliment the coachee for his or her focus on the solution. Then, ask the
coachee to keep a detailed record of what he or she is doing when things are working.
What exceptions can you notice?
• This task gathers information that may be helpful identifying or formulating new
responses and key exceptions.

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 - Adapted by Marilyn Atkinson, originally based on the work of Robert Dilts

From the early work of Gregory Bateson, Robert Dilts, a Californian psychologist, has built
an elegant model for thinking about personal change, learning, and communication that
brings together ideas of context, levels of learning, and perceptual positions.

Outcome-focused coaching uses logical levels as a framework and a process for organizing
and gathering information, so both coach and coachee can identify the best point to
intervene and make any desired change. Logical levels, along with the outcome
frame, are foundational pieces to the coaching conversation.

From fMRI studies of how our brain works, we learn that there are natural hierarchies or
levels for the integration of experience. For instance, people speak of responding to things
on different ‘levels.’ Someone might say that an experience was negative on one level, but
positive on another level. People intuitively have a feel for these internal hierarchies. When
coaches bring logical level questioning formats into the coaching conversation, the natural
unfolding of the logical levels of the mind is brought into awareness.

Logical levels form an internal hierarchy in which each level is progressively

more psychologically encompassing and powerful. Logical levels separate the action from
the person. A person is not his or her behavior.

Logical levels work in a very specific way. That is, the results of the information derived on
one level, will organize and control the information on the level below it. Changing
something on an upper level automatically changes information on the lower levels.
However, changing something on a lower level could, but would not necessarily, affect the
upper levels.

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 Gregory Bateson first developed the logical levels system as a way to describe human ideas
for forming projected actions, pointing out that in the processes of learning, change, and
communication, there were natural hierarchies of classification. The function of each level
was to organize the information on the level below it, and the rules for changing something
on one level were different from those for changing something on a lower level.

Changing something on a lower level could, but would not necessarily, effect the upper
levels, however changing something in the upper levels would necessarily change things on
the lower levels, in order to support the higher-level change. Bateson noted that it was the
confusion between thinking on different logical levels that often created problems for
people.

Robert Dilts followed Gregory Bateson’s work (1991). He provided a clear and succinct
description of the structure, nature, and workings of logical levels regarding our key
conversations in developing goals and results. He also pointed to the mind-brain
distinctions and noted that these were neuro-logical levels. He considered that, in working
with project development, the following levels seem to be the most basic and the most
important to consider:

Identity. Who I am.

What’s important and why? Includes world-view, categories, and comparative values.

My capabilities. States, strategies, and meta-programs.

What I do or have done. Specific behaviors and actions.

My environment. The external context.

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 Logical levels is an internal hierarchy in which each level above is progressively more
psychologically encompassing and powerful. In true logical levels, the higher levels always
and inevitably drive the lower levels. When a change occurs at a higher level (life is
worthwhile) it generally does impact change in behavior at a lower level (spending the
afternoon on a new hobby). Change at a lower level however, without awareness occurring
at a higher level, is not often sustainable. For most people an action can be framed on both
a higher level (having a spontaneous life) and a lower level (making plans at the last
minute). There is the tendency to climb up to the higher conclusion, as we discuss inwardly
with ourselves.

William Coyne (1985) noted the same thing with reference to his research on “...the
determinants of the level at which an activity is framed and how it may be altered....”
Preliminary experiments suggest that when an action can be framed at both a higher level
(having a boring life) and a lower level (watching television all afternoon), there will be a
tendency for the highest level framing to become dominant, with the lower-level framing
ignored. When people come to think about the details of their action, they become
particularly impressionable about the overall meaning of what they are doing.

1. Hierarchies of experience.

2. Higher levels organize and control information on lower levels.

3. The modulation effect of the system works downward.

4. The modulation effect of the system does not necessarily work upward.

An internal hierarchy is implicit in every project. It shows how each of the internal levels of
project development can be progressively more psychologically encompassing and
influential than the one below it. The solution-focused coach can use the logical levels as a
framework for creating transformational conversations with coachees. The coach listens
carefully through the logical levels framework to separate actions from results, and
capabilities from identity. The coach uses this framework to develop precise and useful
questions to support the coachee to make any desired change, on any level of experience,
as a coachee builds an effective model of success.

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 As a framework, which is your backdrop to the process and flow of coaching, you will
notice:
A. Rapport can be built on different logical levels.
B. Logical level thinking can be recognized in every sentence of every human
language. The level a person is thinking from is demonstrated in how they use
tone with key words.
C. Use logical levels to consider a solution when one is confused or uncertain.

To build rapport and good relationships you can begin by matching (mirroring and
complementing an aspect of another). Matching occurs at every logical level.

This is usually superficial and comes from being, for example, from the
same country or working for the same organization. You can also match expectations
such as dress codes and appearances (if you do not wear business clothes to a job
interview, you will lose credibility immediately).
This is where you match a person’s body language (breathing,
posture, gestures, eye contact), their voice tone (speed, pitch, volume, rhythm), or
language (use of key value words to show the person you respect their way of
thinking). Remember, non-verbal matching is more powerful than verbal agreement.
When there is a conflict between a person’s non-verbal message and their verbal
message, people tend to give power to the non-verbal cues. For example, you might
have heard someone say, “What he said was insincere—he did not look me in the eye.”
Rapport can be built on shared interests (running clubs, women’s groups,
boy scouts) and shared skills (coaching groups, lawyer or midwifery associations).
Rapport is built by respecting and understanding the values of another person.
You need not agree with them; however, your respect for what is important to them is
essential.
To gain rapport at the identity level you need to understand and respect
another’s core beliefs and values and pay attention to them as an individual. Showing
genuine interest in ‘who’ they are and sharing some of your own core beliefs and
values, supports rapport on this level.
This level aligns with others around core beliefs
and contributing to something greater than self. At a social level, this is about shared
culture. At a spiritual level, this is about recognizing you are part of humanity and we
are all interconnected.
Generally speaking, it is possible to have rapport at some levels, but not others. The
further you go up the levels, the greater the degree of rapport you can achieve.
Mismatching at a higher level is liable to break rapport that has been established at a lower
level.

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 How do you tend to build rapport? On which levels do you build rapport with
your coachees? Your family? Your friends?

You can tell what level a person is on by listening to the words they say and the tone in
which they say it. You can map all five levels by listening to one sentence. For example, “I
can accomplish that here.”

Consider where the coachee is challenged and question at the corresponding level.

Identity: Do you feel that it is worthwhile, but do not know if you are
the one to do it? (For some reason, it is just not ‘you’ to do
it?) What would be worthwhile for you?

Values: Do you know you have the ability, but do not want to do it,
or not believe it is important enough? What would truly be of
value to you?

Capability: Do you know what to do, but doubt your ability to do it? How
could you build these capabilities?
Behavior/Action: Do you have enough information, but do not know exactly
what to do? What specific action steps do you need to learn
or explore?

Environment: Do you need more information regarding this challenge?

It is important to notice confusions regarding these logical levels as we consider any

project. The most important one is between behavior and identity.

You may have heard someone say to a child, “You are a bad boy!” when the child has
misbehaved. This is an identity statement (top logical level) made about an action (lower
logical level). Many people think that they are what they do and judge themselves
accordingly. Powerful coaches support the coachee in separating their actions from who
they are. The coachee is not his or her behavior.

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 Coaching from ‘top-down’ can provide the greatest impact for reorganizing a coachee’s
internal hierarchy and integrating his or her levels of experience. The ‘bottom-up’ approach
may be used occasionally for building clarity on a well-established project or as an
exploration of specific areas already determined.

Identity gives the coachee the basic sense of self and his or her core values.
Identity has primarily to do with mission, vision, purpose and role. What sort of person
might you want to be? Who else might be affected by you being this sort of person? This
answers the question: Who am I?

This level has to do with the values and principles developed by the individual. It
answers the questions of value: Why am I doing this? Why is this important? It asks what
attitudes, principles and values might the coachee want to adopt (or live from)?
Values and principles provide the basis for the coachees’ actions on a daily basis. As
coaching questions, we explore the ‘value of values’ and the coachee’s development of
useful principles for action. We assist the coachee to develop effective frameworks for
choice-making.

This level describes what we are capable of. They are the groups or sets of
behaviors, general skill sets and strategies that we can use in our life. This level answers
the question of capability: How can I do this? How do I deal with this? What skills do I
have? What skills do I need? At this level, we use a variety of mental maps, plans or
strategies to generate specific behavior.

Behavior is made up of the specific actions or reactions taken within our

daily environment. Regardless of our capabilities, behavior describes what we actually do.
It answers questions of specific actions: What am I doing? What actions will I take? What
will I do next?

This has to do with the external context in which behavior or action occurs.
It answers the questions of specific completions: When and where does this behavior
occur? When and where will I do this? Today, next month, next year?
Note the identity level in the diagram by Robert Dilts. This is the highest level on the
triangle, however beyond identity is the realm of ‘Spiritual’ which answers the question:
“Who else?”

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 We have ___ minutes together. What might be the best result you will get from
our time together? (Listen for desire being stated in the positive, and within his or her
control. Be clear on what the coachee wants to have by the end of the session?)
_________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________

How might you get what you want?

(Use logical levels unfolding to answer this question. Listen for S.M.A.R.R.T. goals.)

Who Benefits?
What is the vision you see?

Who do you want to be?

What qualities do you want to show?

What sort of person would you be?

Why is this important?

What values does it have?
Why is this worthwhile?

How will you achieve it?

What skills do you have?
What skills do you need to develop?

What actions need to be taken?

What steps could you take to support X?
What are your action steps?

Where will you want this?

When will you do it?

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 How might you deepen your commitment? How might you make it stronger?
(Listen for contingency planning/risk management, check for ecology)
_________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________

How would you know if you got it?

(Listen for an evidence procedure - If you had it already, what would you have? What is
your evidence that you are on track?) What would you be seeing, hearing, or feeling?
_________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________

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 It is important to understand that coaching as a management approach has to be carefully
chosen in order to be most effective. In different situations with employees it is, therefore,
crucial to identify context, purpose and outcome that will determine which approach is best.

The graphic below can help identify and support you in choosing the most relevant
approach in use, depending on the context.

To be effective, it is important to realize that we need both managing and coaching

interchangeably. The key is determining the ‘when’ and the ‘how.’

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 To be an effective coach, it is useful to understand the brain and effective ‘brain use’
habits. We actually have three physical brain systems and mind systems with very unique
functions.

• Reticular brain system

• Emotional brain system (limbic system)
• Cerebral brain system (cerebral cortex) with left and right hemispheres.

We also have an incredible ability to integrate these systems and grow our abilities through
the brains neuroplasticity. The following diagram illustrates the three original brain
systems, moving out from the central core.

In this section we will explore the function of these three brain systems, as they organize
very particular kinds of attention. As we understand them better, we come to recognize
these systems in operation. We can notice when and how each system may be dominating
our attention. The aim is to develop some control over formerly automatic structures of
mind. We can decide how to use our attention more effectively and start to control the
parts that formerly controlled us. We can begin to ask open-ended questions, think
creatively, use maps, and visualize alternatives in ways that open up new neural pathways
and move our attention beyond constricted mindsets.

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 The reticular brain system is the tiny enlargement of the brain stem at the top of the spinal
column. There is a small thickening, like a peanut that shows the reptilian-reticular brain.
This brain system, our oldest, is over 100 million years old and developed most of its
functions with the dinosaurs, or before. The reptilian brain is extremely useful for
immediate action, its power deriving from how quickly it responds to stimuli. If you
accidentally put your hand in the steam of a kettle, this brain system pulls your hand out
before you have time to think about it. As a system for the physical body, it sends us into
fight or flight.

The dinosaur age began 100 million years ago, so this brain has well-developed functions.
Reticular brainstem conclusions are direct, simple, and active, such as: “I’m thirsty”, “I’m
hungry”, “I’m tired”, or “I’m sexy”.

The limbic brain system is the second one out from the center and provides the next
developmental level of our brain system. It can also be called the emotional brain system.
In the illustration on the previous page, notice how this system encircles the reticular brain
like a small glove.

This is our basic mammalian system that began developing near the end of the dinosaur
age, at least 50 million years ago. It is 98-percent the same for all mammals–for us, for
dogs, for cats, and for dolphins. One reason why we enjoy our pets so much is that we
share the same brain.

The emotional and reticular brains work closely together as a well-developed, interlinked
system. They have evolved together for at least 50 million years, ever since mammals
appeared on earth, so their connectors are smoothly interlinked. As an integrated pair, they
link us into our physical and emotional awareness.

Animals have emotions. They love and nurture their young, just like we do. They get
inspired. They move to actions through emotions, with an aim to protect, to teach, and to
command.

Many mammals make sounds to teach and command their young, so the emotional
brain system is connected to the development of a communication system based on
meaningful sounds. Many advanced mammals ‘speak’ to their group meaningfully with
growls and grunts, and the young listen and learn to obey.

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 We listen to tones with the emotional system and have developed a strong capacity to
notice shifts in tonal messages. Through the last 50 million years, we have listened to each
other as communicators, developing more and more meaningful nuances through the
auditory system.

Whenever we feel our body our attention is present tense focused. With the exception of
the advanced apes, on a very minor scale, animals do not think ‘future.’

The emotional brain is a group brain. Many mammals live in family groups, assisting each
other and working as teams. They think fundamentally as team players and have implicit
agreements about how the family system is organized.

Mammals, especially our primate ancestors, tend to live in hierarchical family systems,
where dominance and submission are major influences. Just watch primates engage in
gestured conversations about dominance, and you will see that our mammalian habits are
deeply learned.

Mammals typically keep within the comfort zone, avoiding change, and maintaining long-
term habitual patterns. Animals love the same regular routines and comforts, returning
again and again to their favorite sleeping spot, for example. They eat the same food, and
follow the same paths. They know their groups’ habits very well, and are willing to fight to
protect their group, and their group’s territory.

.
The emotional brain system is a hundred times more complex than the reticular system in
the way it makes choices. Yet, like the reticular, when it comes to decision-making, the
emotional brain is an either/or brain system. It needs to make split-second choices.
Essentially, the emotional brain system orients us to survival, especially to the survival of
the group. It responds with quick, black versus white, group-oriented actions.

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 The cerebral cortex system, also called the neo-cortex, is the third brain in development,
which occupies the vast majority of the brain cavity. Our enormous, complex, cerebral
cortex, with the future visioning capacity of the frontal lobes, is a thousand times more
flexible than the emotional system because of its amazing capacity to make visual
constructions. There are more neuron connectors for this system than there are stars in the
visible universe. All this complexity orients us to visual projection and visual logic but even
beyond that, to the integrated functioning of all systems, together this leads to the capacity
to build new flexible growth in capacities called neuroplasticity.

This brain is only 2½ to 3½ million years old—almost brand new in terms of archeological
time. Visually, it is incredibly flexible. Perhaps it originally developed for the purpose of
effective depth perception—for perceiving distances for throwing, or for scanning territory.
The cerebral cortex has 16 trillion neuron connectors, providing the capacity to construct
and reconstruct images and even small movies. It does our ‘imagining’ for us. For example,
we can, at least briefly, flash pictures of our own body (or any object) from multiple angles
as we walk down a street. We can also make short moving pictures where we develop and
think carefully through possible ‘future’ strategies.

Here are four brief visual-brain exercises. Try them right now!

1. Flash a picture of yourself from 10 feet above your head looking down, or from
10 feet in front facing you. Or explore a picture of yourself from the ground up.
2. Visualize a cat walking past you. What color is it?
3. Visualize a desert with wind blowing. What color is it?
4. See a parade of naked people walking across the room in front of you. Now
there is an interesting one!

Of course, you can visualize effectively. We can all flash a complex video at least briefly for
a second or two. And we do it through this incredible picture-making apparatus. This brain
is a thousand times more flexible than the emotional brain. Because we can diagram and
create maps, we can create visual plans, sequences, and details that hold a large amount
of data. Even a simple chart maps 5 distinctive core aspects of a plan or an idea.

According to a variety of studies, we only have room for approximately four chunks of
attention capacity with our conscious minds. In other words, we can remember about four
(plus or minus one) bits of data with our short-term recall apparatus. This space of
attention is very small, so increasing our capacity to build visual maps enhances the range
of our mental operations enormously. Whatever we can effectively visualize, we can make
real for ourselves, and we can then detail it in the world.

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 Our visualizing, neo-cortical brain system is still somewhat dissociated from the limbic
emotional system. This very new brain system does not respond immediately to body
sensation or connect directly to the brain stem with split second timing like the emotional
system. The response time of the whole cerebral cortex system is one second slower and it
functions best when we are relaxed and alert.

Because of the dissociative quality of visually constructed ideas, the cortex seems like a
tool for the emotional brain. We seem to be ‘run’ by our emotional selves, and yet, the
visual brain processing can also powerfully take the lead. Most important, when people are
relaxed and alert they love to learn and to create. Visualization and open-ended queries
connected to valued possibilities can create miles of interlinked new neuron connections
even in one day. The practice of coach position, expands our awareness outward and
stabilizes this, allowing ‘next step’ growth and development. Coaching questions and value
sensing practice enhances all. If we encourage vision and value linkage, based on the
positive emotions, and mindfulness of the whole integrated system, we come into the range
of our true capabilities as human beings.

The visual nature of our self-organizing mind system means we can work most effectively
with positive explorations. Notice that, as visualizers, we can only see what is there. We
cannot see what is not there. For example, what do you see with the request: “Don’t spill
the milk!”? Our world is positive, physical, and present, and our capacity to appreciate it
creates a positive flow of pictures and values. The natural quality of our mind is abstract
awareness, linking us to our deepest values and the ability to build positive states of
energy and happiness.

fMRI research shows that positive language structure and open-ended questions assist
brain development and expanded linkage systems throughout the whole brain. This
accelerates creative visual thinking, increased neuroplasticity, and produces rapid neuron
growth.

Open-ended questions, process visualization, and mental rehearsal are key tools in brain
development. The larger the goal system visualized, the more stable the linkage. Once a
‘fulfilled’ system gets visualized and linked together for any large goal, all next-step
systems and processes will continue to be linked into it to expand the learning system as a
whole.

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 As we move out further beyond the brain’s core all systems are able to work together to
provide a new level of intelligence and possibility to the whole system. Our brain
integration operates at a variety of neurological levels, and the strongest integration of
vision and value in the system can shift the workings of every level below it. The visual
system, directed by the frontal lobes, can key in this development as people think through
and prioritize their aims.

A surgeon can operate on the cerebral cortex without anesthetic. Notice this as a metaphor
for the fact that the visual logic system often seems very abstract to immediate primate
survival concerns. Humans, as sensation lovers, usually identify more with our emotional
capacities than with our visual logical system. For example, we say “I believe” or “I know”
more often to identify our feelings and sensations than to identify our images.

People lose motivation when they link their thinking about future projects to visualizing
potential problems. When this happens, their “inner project managers”—the auditory
conclusion-systems that organize these projects—fill them with tension when they think
about what could go wrong. Yet, with a deeper understanding of the functioning of this
system using integrated solution-focused thinking we can build strong self-trust in chosen
priorities.

Coaches can assist their coachees to discover how to use their visual neo-cortical capacity
to define and to intensify powerful positive emotions. Stress responses diminish. We assist
high-level motivation and ‘sourceful’ decision-making as people become more effective with
coach position, relaxed mindfulness, and inner vision – value linkage.

Coaching is about amplifying our choices and making inner resources available. Learning
the true operations of this amazing visual-logical system and our integrative powers offers
powerful possibilities for solution-focused coaching. We open possibilities far beyond the
person’s old beliefs in personal limitation and poverty of choice. Old stresses diminish,
decision-making capacity grows, and the person experiences renewed flexibility and choice.

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 You have approximately 100 billion neurons in your brain. Each of these neurons has
between 5,000 and 50,000 connections to other neurons. (One quadrillion connections
between neurons in the cortex.) What are some of the key systems that direct our
perception?

• Tiny enlargement of the brain stem at the top of the spinal column.
• Known as the reptilian brain, this system streamlines physical safety.
• Bodily awareness: 100 million years old.
• Fight or Flight – this “survival brain” readies us for immediate action.
• Perception organizes protection of the body.

• The limbic and reticular brains have worked together for 50 million years. Together,
they link physical and emotional awareness. This system encircles the reticular brain
like a tiny glove.
• The limbic system of higher mammals, including ourselves, is 98% the same for all.
• Connects quickly to active working memory and present tense awareness. It is
designed for immediate either/or choices - now. Thinking is fast and conclusive.
• All animals have emotions and move into action through emotions (They love,
protect, command, teach).
• This system is strongly auditory and tonal and connects to the development of
sound-based communication.
• It orients us to sameness – the strong desire to maintain long-term habitual
patterns, as simple as possible.
• It is associated; creates memories as if looking out and re-seeing events from one’s
own eyes. This means there is on-going present tense awareness and no future
focus.
• Orients to a ‘we’ awareness – we assist each other to work and think as a team.
• Hierarchy-centered for group organization. The family ‘leader’ is the decision-maker.

• Approximately 3 million years old. Strongly visual. Assists dissociated imagery and
clear visioning of choices.
• Occupies the vast majority of the brain cavity; has more neuron connectors than all
stars and galaxies in the Universe.
• Future oriented; the cerebral cortex system is 1000 times more flexible than the
limbic system because of the frontal lobe’s capacity for future visioning.

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 • Creates moving pictures, ‘flashes’ of ideas, and multiple alternative choices. We need
to slow down and review potential plans to orient effectively.
• The cerebral cortex is not fully integrated with the reticular or emotional brain
systems because they have had only 3 million years to evolve together. We need to
be relaxed and alert for it to function well. If there is danger, the limbic system takes
charge.
• Development unfolds through integrity awareness and whole system thinking.

• 200,000 years old since beginning stages of language development.

• 80,000 years only since the development of complex language as Cro-Magnon man
developed a voice box.
• 10,000 years since the use of negative language began. This means the use of
words like ‘no’ and ‘not’. At this point, humans began to move from hunter-gatherer
societies to agrarian social system and to towns. This led to the development of
compartmentalized roles and status (and the process of using negative language
systems to hold it in place).

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 As noted, the outcome frame is one of the most powerful organizing principles our
advanced coach training has to offer. The outcome frame requires dissociated states for
planning and future projection and works with key questions to organize one’s future. It is
also designed so that one can stay on track in the action phase of a plan that requires
strong association.

The Cerebral Cortex allows us to use dissociated overview perception, whereas the
Emotional System produces associated stories and responses.

are very different from associated states. When you are removed
from the experience, you are dissociated. You see, hear and feel as if from the “outside”.
You can explore the difference by noticing the quality of dissociation. For example, what is
it like if you view yourself in your mind’s eye riding a roller coaster? Imagine sitting on a
bench in the amusement park where you can view a “you over there” sitting in a roller
coaster car. You can sit comfortably and imagine someone with your nametag flying around
the corners and up and down the big hills.

To be dissociated means to observe the experience at least partially ‘from the outside’. In
dissociated states, there is always a part of ourselves that is aware of another part of
ourselves in that state, so we have room to design shifts in perception and action. It’s easy
to remain relaxed and comfortable as you view this roller coaster ride as if it were a video.
However, when you view yourself from the outside, you do not deeply experience the
genuine thrill of riding the roller coaster.

mean linking into full-bodied states. For example, explore the very
same roller coaster ride as if you are looking out while seated in the front seat of the roller
coaster. This is an associated experience. You can feel the pushes and pulls, hear the
clatter of the roller coaster wheels, and see straight down the hills. When we are in an
associated state we are totally caught up by the moment. All our awareness is captured by
what is going on and we have none left over to be aware that we are having the
experience.

When we tend to be deeply associated, we gain enormously when we develop a Coach

Position. Coach Position is the capacity to briefly step outside an experience and overview
solutions. Only from Coach Position can we ask the inner questions that have us notice the
deeper quality of experiences and reorganize them according to our values and most
effective responses to situations now. When we make room for both associated and
dissociated textures of life, we can notice and ask whether we are living the experience that
we want!

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 As noted, the outcome frame is one of the most powerful organizing principles our
advanced coach training has to offer. The outcome frame requires dissociated states for
planning and future projection and works with key questions to organize one’s future. It is
also designed so that one can stay on track in the action phase of a plan that requires
strong association.

1. Use visual constructions (dissociated visuals) for planning. See yourself and others
as if you are viewing everyone on a screen, watching how the action phase will be
developed.

2. Make your ‘inner movies’ specific, comprehensive, and detailed. A goal is a dream
with a deadline. A key element is to notice the timing for completion. Make sure all
the elements are realistic, relevant and achievable.

3. People get motivated when they focus on the end of a project. Make sure you are
moving toward what you want as the completion, and you can visualize the
completion in a detailed way.

4. You may have the habit of ‘jumping into’ your dream, and even believe the goal will
be most motivating if it is associated and happening now. In fact, this is only true for
the emotional mind ‘parts’ organized by auditory internal tone. The tone of inner
discussion is important, so use a motivating tone with your goals. Say it the way you
want it, as if it is happening now. Speak about your future in the present tense with
an enthusiastic tone and write goals down as if they have happened. For example,
“Here I am; it is October and I can easily jog for two miles and feel energized!”

5. Use visual dissociations for planning. When the unconscious mind experiences
something with intensity, it will often lose motivation. It is as though the experience
is already finished. If I visually step into a goal not yet achieved, and treat it as if it
is happening now, I may enjoy the experience so thoroughly that I don’t actually do
what is necessary to get it.

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 6. Kinesthetically: When you are actually doing the activity, be sure to enjoy each
moment. The only way to experience a state is just to step into it and have it! Our
plans need to be dissociated to be motivating. On the other hand, if we are
experiencing a state ‘now’, we need to be as fully associated as possible or we ‘don’t
smell the roses’ of our life’s great experiences. We can only be happy now! If we put
our ‘desirable states’ off to future times we may never experience them. Often,
people near the end of their lives notice that they continued to put off enjoyment
again and again, and thereby missed key experiences. We do this through small
‘future inductions’ that postpone satisfaction. For example, many people talk to
themselves in this way:

“When I finish my thesis, then I’ll really start enjoying life again.”
“When the children have left home, then we can really begin to live.”

7. There are approximately 4 (+ or –) thinking chunks available for the conscious

attention. Design your outcome to maximize effective and streamlined
consciousness. This means you may want to heighten the dissociated visualizations
of your plans with vivid colors. Make your ‘inner movies’ of accomplishment bright.
Make them very clear and lucid. Heighten the flow of the movement. See the parties
enjoying the events and moving towards results. See the results amplified! These
adjustments will maximize your inner movie’s motivational capacity!

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 Fear vanishes when you can see something working in your mind’s eye. A dissociated visual
experience is particularly useful because you can visualize yourself achieving competence.
When we request the unconscious mind to see how we might handle a specific situation
well, we can then start to access our ‘creativity system’ … an endless stream of alternative
examples which we open like a video library.

We can watch ourselves in these internal movies, perhaps a one or two second
‘commercial’ with ourselves as the ‘star’. In this way we receive new approaches and
suggestions from our unconscious mind.

A picture to the mind is like a real experience. With three or four viewings and perhaps
several alternative choices studied, our confidence will soar. We can now imagine ourselves
to be effective in the formerly scary or confusing situation. We experience confidence.

A primary function of the coaching relationship is the rehearsal of potential choices. The
human mind is like a tape or video recorder. The playback key is an important function. A
person may need to ‘re-view’ or repeat beneficial choices multiple times before the images
are fully understood and become attractive for them.

The unconscious mind is a pure verb! We engage the unconscious mind whenever we
question how to move towards effective future action and see inner movies. Usually it takes
three or more playbacks, or repetitions of an internal viewing with discussion to make
something real or make it do-able in the mind’s eye.

• If you put together three statements that all assume the same thing in different ways,
the idea will gradually move from an accepted belief or presupposition to a ‘fact’.
• If you remember or imagine an experience in at least three representational systems,
(visual, auditory or kinesthetic)—it comes alive!
• If you view an experience from at least three positions, ‘I’ position, ‘you’ position, and
a third position, perhaps ‘fly on the wall’ or ‘camera’ position, it becomes strongly
real. We now view these pictures as part of our life!
If you install an experience in past, present and future memories, we clearly remember it
as true! Three examples are generally the number needed to stabilize attention around the
experience of workability. Let us look at these functions separately.

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 First, let’s examine the function of repetition itself. For example, if I were to talk about the
brown tortoises of Tasmania, and introduce them contextually in three sentences, you
would automatically color them brown yourself if you were called upon to imagine
Tasmanian tortoises at a later point.

Advertisers understand this concept and capitalize on it. By repeating the same visual
images over and over again, you engage your memory system. For example, if you see a
box of Tide detergent enough times in a commercial, then you will likely remember the box
and possibly purchase the product when you get to the grocery store. The work of
repetitive commercials is done by repeating a visual image again and again, and, in turn,
the memory system becomes engaged.

This story perfectly demonstrates the ‘power of three’ repetitions. Perhaps you have heard
the story of the preacher John, who had a church in a mid-western city. John was bothered
by the quick expansion of the church across the road, which was led by another preacher
named Sam. Year by year, Sam’s congregation continued to grow, while John’s
congregation remained the same. Sam’s church sprouted naves and wings and extra
parking lots. Finally, overwhelmed with curiosity, John crossed the street and asked Sam
for the secret of his success. Sam responded: “What I do, each sermon, is very simple. I
tell them what I am going to tell them; then I tell them; and then I tell them that I told
them!” The magic number is three!

We unconsciously recognize the qualities of internal pictures that we believe, see as real or
appealing to us by our own unconscious signal systems. We recognize their ‘okay-ness’ by
the particular qualities of our internal representations, visual, auditory, or kinesthetic.

These unconscious signal systems are specific representational qualities, which we

acknowledge as real or desirable, will differ from individual to individual. For example, one
person may recognize an internal picture to be true if it is seen in shades of grays and
taupes, is a certain size and brightness, and ‘flashes’ from a certain internal direction. The
same person may recognize an experience to be desirable if the pictures’ colors are
particularly intense, or if there is a shift in the clarity level of what is being perceived.
These individual patterns are stable for us. They form the basis of our own recognition of
beliefs, yet they are very different from person to person.

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 Once you recognize your own or the coachee’s unconscious signal systems, you can use
these internal viewing habits to enhance the capacity for developing and maximizing value
for the coachee as he or she builds their own future viewings. You might ask the coachee,
following his or her own recipe, to raise the clarity on the picture to ‘level 7 out of 10,’ and
the brightness to ‘level 8 out of 10.’ This would be part of his or her own formula to
enhance and to make future motivation much more compelling for the coachee. As the
coachee begins to master his or her ‘brain habits’ and learns to direct them according to his
or her own inner formula, we get amazing results. We coach an interest in mastery itself.

When we are convinced of something, the small markers (such as brightness, color,
vividness, clarity, movement) in our internal representations, change to representations of
belief. Repeated enough times, we install the benefits of the experience, associatively, ‘as-
if’ it has already happened. Simple questions that trigger the visual system can do this.

The ‘As-If’ questions are a powerful addition to a coach’s repertoire. As a coach, by

reviewing choices with the coachee, you can assist the coachee to build positive
visualizations. With review, the inner markers on our pictures begin to develop and change,
and our capacity for creative involvement shifts as well. Our pictures might become
brighter, more colorful, or shift in other ways that support the value of moving towards
specific future choices.

When we use ‘As-If’ questions, we begin to effectively move attention from structures
where it is not easy to find creative ideas, to unconscious visual territory, the space where
creativity abounds.

Usually our non-creative mind-loops organize as auditory structures of attention;

conclusions containing detailed internal dialogues that specify problems, which are
represented as recursive loops or vicious circles, endlessly repeating reproaches or
warnings. You may experience this when the voice inside your head says things like: “This
is stupid”, “You are stupid”, or “Don’t do this”. In contrast, our visual creativity system is
accessed easily through ‘As-If’ or ‘Just suppose’ questions. These questions usually
assume:

• Multiple examples of possibilities.

• Our capacity to determine and represent the best choices.
• Our capacity to move between these choices in a way that evaluates, examines and
compares them.
• Our capacity to select the criteria for the best choice.

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 These are exactly the presuppositions implied by the As-If frame. ‘What-If’ questions
immediately associate us to our vast open-ended ‘larger mind’ of explorations and choice.

Some sample ‘As-If’ questions are listed in the next section to give you an idea of how to
do this. To answer these questions, we need to review our choices positively. We need to
see the positive choice as an action picture. Therefore, the first thing we want to encourage
is positive visuals connected to our questions. Then, as we review and explore the
presenting options at least three times, some mental ‘video clips’ of useful directions often
become more and more appealing. With review, the inner representational markers,
brightness, color, and tonality begin to shift to correspond with and to confirm our
expectations about the possible value of a specific direction or choice. In this way, we
become empowered.

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 The following ‘As-if’ Frame questions were expanded and systemized by Marilyn Atkinson
from original work of various persons, including Steve de Shazer.

Use the following lead-in words or phrases:

A good example is the use of the phrase ‘just suppose’. For example:

• Just suppose you could identify your primary choice, which would you select?
• What are the benefits of this choice that you see down the line?
• Provided this decision turns out to be successful, what will be the most important
payoffs you will be experiencing a year from now?
• Just take a moment… As if you were settled with this choice comfortably for a year,
how does this one seem to wear with time?

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 • Imagine it is a year from now and let’s say it’s December. Reminisce with me if you
will! Here we are at the end of the year, and you’ve sold more than 60 systems last
year. That’s a terrific record! As you look back on some of the meetings you held in
different cities, what would you say were the key factors that made those meetings
– and this year - successful?

The ‘As-If’ frame gives you an excellent method to recheck the coachee’s values and value
words. Simply ask the person to imagine achieving their benefit from a future point of view.

How do they describe it?

• You are a person who values learning. Notice how your experience of learning
gradually grows into wonderful wisdom over time.
• Notice your experience of developing team trust. What are some ways that you can
make sure that trust grows further in the team? How will you make this trustworthy?
• Let’s assume you chose your first option in the plan for a moment. What are the
benefits you are finding most appealing, as you get skilled with it?
• Providing this decision turns out to be of true value, what will be the most important
values you will be experiencing a year from now?

The ‘As-If’ frame provides information from a variety of viewpoints. It is possible to use the
‘As-If’ frame to try on another person’s point of view by changing perceptual position.

Using a personal shift you can look from the eyes of a person who is very competent in an
area where you are interested in gaining competence. Imagine being that person looking at
the situation and offering free advice. What might they say to you? Using this shifting
reference technique enables a person to easily take someone else’s point of view. The idea
is to be them for a moment and notice your responses.

For example:

• Dave, you work fairly closely with John, who knows that company best. Goof around
with me for a moment…if you were John right now, what would you say about
whether they will stay in business or no?
• If your Dean were here today, what do you think he would say about your revised
selection of priorities?
• If Dr. Jones, who is well-versed in this kind of operation, were here, what do you
suspect he would say are the most important things to be considering at this time?
• If your sales manager was here today, what do you think his bottom-line would be?
• If you now had the skills that he has, what would you be doing differently?

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 If you could explore multiple different functions within any system, a family, a corporation
or a government, to put together a systemic overview that contains the ‘wider system’
viewpoint, what would you see? You can visualize and re-visualize systems from multiple
locations. You can differentiate sizes of systems, so that you can wonder about and
visualize the even ‘wider system’.

You can then see the ‘wider system’ from other future points as well. For example, you can
view from the point of view of a specific whole system five years into the future. This
means that you can check for the ecological balance in the system at this point. The
unconscious mind can make such finely tuned future projections.

When we know we have access to all necessary data we often move ahead with clarity
because we allow ourselves the necessary overview. The ‘As-If’ frame offers people an
opportunity to ‘stir things up’ in their unconscious minds, resulting in the discovery of
critical information that may have gone otherwise unnoticed. The ‘As-If’ frame offers an
avenue for people to begin to get beyond their current blocks and shake up their system.
In turn, they may gain clear access to a critical piece of information they may not have
gotten otherwise. For example, use the ‘As If’ frame ‘information download’ tool by asking
the following questions: What if you actually had the information needed? How would you
be responding to these requests when the required information is available?

• Check out this possibility for a moment. Let’s assume you have been using this
coaching opportunity really well, and it is six months down the line now. You are
examining your sales chart and can see an accelerated upward trend, month by
month. And that’s even going through the slow season. Is this what you want to
create?
• Suppose you were to practice these skills every day. It’s a year from now, what’s
different?

If someone does not know what he or she wants, have the coachee move forward in time
(act as if it is 15 minutes or 5 years into the future, and see what is happening, hear what
is going on, and get a feeling for having achieved whatever you want). Acting ‘as-if’ can be
a quick skill for future thinking that produces results.

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 • When you agreed to meet with me, you must have had something in mind. If the next
thirty minutes could be really useful to you—if you could get what you want during
this time—what would that be?

• What do we need to accomplish during this meeting for you to feel good about this
use of your time?
• What would you need to see that would convince you that next year’s projects could
be successful?

Magic Questions and Button Questions are non-intrusive probes that often allow people to
voice their dreams. They dare to speak about outcomes they are just beginning to get in
touch with. Use tone and imagination to assist people to relax and explore.

For example:

• Just suppose you had some magic powers and could alter things to suit yourself,
where might you begin to make some changes in your life?
• Just suppose the winds of change blew through (city-name) right now and simply
swept away all those old problems. Imagine you are waking up tomorrow morning
and it’s the dawning of a brand new day of possibility. All those tired old problems
are now blown away, and there is room for a clear slate of fresh choices. What would
you be doing differently?

Button or miracle questions are wonderfully easy ‘As-If explorations. They are best done
lightly: “Just goof around with me for a moment…”. However, once asked, persist with
them even if the coachee rebukes you. For example, “Oh, just explore it for a moment” or
“Come on and try it just to see…I’d be curious.”

• If you could push a button and the perfect “X” (ie. hardware solution, staff
organization, etc.) would appear, what would it be like?

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 • Suppose you went through a doorway and this immediate difficulty is resolved: What
would you be doing differently? How would you know? What would you notice?
o

• What actions would be different? What else? What would you be doing differently?

• What in your relationships would be different? What else? What else?

• Who else would notice that the solution was in place? How? What would they notice?

• What would your _____________ (superior, project leader, team player, colleague,
friend, family member) notice that’s different?

• How would your _____________ (superior, project leader, team player, colleague,
friend, family member) react differently to the changes s/he notices in the way you
are proceeding?

• What else?

• What needs to be different for these changes to begin to happen? What would you
need to alter?

• Are there times when this happens already?

• How often does this happen already?

• How? Why? What’s different?

• What needs to take place so that this happens more often?

• What would it take for you to start actively now as if there has been such a miracle?

• What would be a small sign that this is happening already?

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 • “Just suppose it is six months down the road, and you
As if the coachee could have already successfully accomplished this goal and you
look back from the future are satisfied with the results. Now look back at some of the
on a challenge that has key things you did to ensure the successful completion of
already been solved. this goal. What do you notice were some of the important
details you took care of?”
• “Imagine it is next year and through patient effort you
have got the whole team engaged well with project x, and
they are all succeeding well. Now, from here look back for
a moment and notice the steps you made from the
beginning that really engaged your team.”
• “Let’s assume this decision turns out to be successful.
What will be the most important payoffs you will be
experiencing a year from now?

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 • “Bob, just suppose it is six months down the line with your
new business and you have begun to develop the stability
As if the coachees values (coachee’s value word) you want for your family. Take a
and value awareness has moment to really experience this… As you reflect back on
been expanded. this challenging time what values do you find yourself
developing through all that work? What inner stability do
you experience with this now accomplished?”
• “Just suppose during your next team meeting you could
lead your team members with that inspiration (coachee’s
value word) that you initially had at the beginning. As you
interact with them through this inspired leadership, how
might you want to conduct this meeting to gain the best
results? What might an inspired leader express at such a
meeting?”
• “Let’s assume that this energy and creativity (coachee’s
value words) you now experience for this project continues
to build momentum and becomes a part of your daily work
life, what other benefits would that bring to you and your
colleagues?”

• “Just suppose you were to take on the perspective of one

of your potential customers. Look out of their eyes as you
As if the coachee is interact with this product. Get into their mindset. What
does this perspective offer you that is useful to your
looking at a question or
product development?”
responding to a question
from a different person’s • “If your mentor (boss, colleague etc.), whom you respect
so much, were here with you today, what do you think he
perspective.
would advise you as the best next steps to take?”
• “Just suppose you were to step into Sarah’s perspective for
a moment with the negotiation skills she has, what would
you be doing differently in the boardroom?”
When the coachee turns to you, the coach, for advice:

• “I am curious, if you were me, what would you say to

you…?”

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 • “Just suppose you were to start looking at this company
As if the coachee is from the point of view of the whole company for a
looking at a system as a moment, and you are noticing places where there are
whole and its parts from a some slower areas and some faster areas. What shifts
big picture or overview. does this system need to move forward? How could you
shake things loose?” “How does taking the wider
perspective and the long-term result for the whole system
make a difference here? “From your own big picture
viewpoint, how do you see the department’s function
getting stronger?”
• “What if you could just stop and take a moment to look
first, from the whole system, and second, from the various
points of view of the various groups in the company? What
if you try on their glasses for a moment both to view the
history and the future? What do you notice if you take on
the focus of the engineering department? What do you
notice when you look from the concerns of accounting?”
• “So, your current eating habits trouble you. Suppose your
body was a new land and you were like Columbus visiting
it. And you really loved it, every part! How might you truly
start to care for this land? Suppose protecting its wellbeing
became a key point of view. How would you start with a
few small steps?”

• “What if the research were done and the results were,

As if the information indeed, positive? What would be your next steps?”
required is easily • “Just suppose you have done all the research and your
available. patent is finally complete. What would be your next step?
What will now begin? And now, as you explore, what might
be steps three, four and five? What part of this plan can
you begin today?”
• “Suppose you were to walk into a bookstore (or go online,
or read an article) and you see a book that visually appeals
to you that reads “Book written for (coachee’s name): The
Top Three Ways to Improve Customer Relations “You, of
course, take this book off the shelf and read the
introduction to this book of three chapters. Skim the table
of contents for a moment. What do you see as the chapter
headings? What do you suspect that each of the three
chapters might say?”

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 • “Let’s suppose that you have now moved out of high
concentration mode to get this project off the ground, and
As if the coachee could have really started accelerating with your work. The
accelerate results upward, momentum is moving you off the old chart and into a
beyond current whole new territory of market leadership (coach draws
projections. chart). What do you notice from here? On a scale of one to
ten, one being low and 10 being high, how worthwhile is
this project now?”
• (Coach draws diagram with a trend line). Let’s assume you
have been using this new plan really well for a while and it
is now six months down the line. You are examining the
progress you and your team has made and can see an
accelerated upward trend, month by month, that is even
going through the slow season. (Coach draws a second
higher trend line). You have settled into your groove now
and this new trend line is gradually going off the charts. Is
this, then, what you want to create? How will you begin to
get your result? How do you become consistent with it?
What contributed most to building this enhanced trend?”
• “Just suppose you were to become highly proficient at this
particular skill. It is now six months later and this skill is
habitual, as though it is a part of you. What other perhaps
unrelated areas might you apply this skill to at this point?
What other similar skills might you wish to begin to
develop? How might the successful development of this
particular skill become a trend that serves you and your
colleagues effectively and continually over the long term”

• “When you decided to have a coaching session with me,

As if the coachee is you probably had something specific in mind. If the next
making an agreement thirty minutes could be really useful to you – if you could
with him or herself (or get what you want during this time – what would that be?”
others) towards an • “Just suppose you were to make an agreement (a
intended result. contract) with yourself to make this project priority one,
what would you be doing differently?”
• “Just suppose you were to make an intention (a contract)
with your team that there would be one best result from
the next team meeting. What result do you imagine would
be chosen?”

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 • “Suppose there was a big red button on your desk with
“Easy” written on it. And suppose you pressed that button
As if the problem could and these specific work problems and challenges just
suddenly disappear. became more actionable. What do you do that makes it
easier? What would you then be doing differently?”
• “What if this challenge was like a file on your computer?”
Suppose you could simply hit the delete button on your
keyboard and that old file disappeared and opened up a
whole new clean page, a new document about the success
of this project and its benefits? What might this document
say? How would it be laid out? What headings would it
have?”
• “What if this company were a bridge you were building?
When you walk over it, what is on the other side?”

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 As if the coachee could look back from the
future on a challenge that has already been
solved.

As if the coachees values and value

awareness has been expanded.

As if the coachee is looking at a question or

responding to a question from a different
person’s perspective.

As if the coachee is looking at a system as a

whole and its parts from a big picture or
overview.

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 As if the information required is easily
available.

As if the coachee could accelerate results

upward, beyond current projections.

As if the coachee is making an agreement

with him or herself (or others) towards an
intended result.

As if the problem could suddenly open up

into solutions or creative ideas, or even
vanish.

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 - Created by Marilyn Atkinson

To be effective with our mental maps, we need to build a dissociated self image. In other
words, we need to see ourselves in action so we can follow the map of being and doing
what we see. Everyone sees their memories differently. Some people only remember
sequences of events (as if they are looking out of their own eyes now). Your memories,
when associated, do not show your own body.

To build a valued self-image, we need to see ourselves from the outside (for example,
seeing ourselves walking down the street and seeing a full-bodied image of ourselves
reflected). An example might be seeing your full body in a mirror or in the plate glass
window of a building with windows along the sidewalk.

The image needs to be dissociated (seeing ourselves on a screen in our own inner movie
theatre) and full-bodied. We need to be able to notice the body as a whole so that we can
appreciate the quality of wholeness in posture, gesture, breathing, and all other features of
aliveness.

This means we also need to have a moving image. Movement is important because we
express our being and our values in the quality of our movement and interaction in the
world.

When all three features of dissociation, movement, and full-bodied ‘wholeness’ are present,
we can truly begin to build a valued self image that can move the action of our life forward.

allows us to know that we are building towards the future.

reminds us, unconsciously, of the wholeness of our
actions.
becomes a blueprint towards the kinds of valued actions we
want to take.

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 To build a valued self-image for the coachee, you need to be systematic and systemic.
Before you work with your coachees, build and test a value-based self image for yourself,
so you are clear about the power of the process.

1. Determine the qualities that we want to imbue in the image. Select at least three
core values to explore in the development of the image.

2. Feature these qualities in a dissociated image of the self, making sure that the
coachee can see whatever aspects allow the coachee to appreciate these qualities in
action.

3. Gather together different valued qualities the coachee wants and feature them
together so the coachee can see them as a whole.

Finally, assist the coachee to make some small ‘inner movies’ where the coachee can test
his or her valued self image in action scenarios.

If the coachee is clear about the meaning of dissociated, moving, full-bodied, images of a
valued self, this work can be done easily, both in person and by telephone. When coaching,
this can be illustrated with the coachee using a picture such as the small drawing of a
moving woman (refer to diagram). Here you see all the key aspects: dissociation, full-body
picture, and movement. You can also see how the coachee portrays key values in his or her
inner movie by their body language or facial expressions.

You can conduct a formal ‘associative future-pace’ with your coachee, which involves the
following steps:

1. Direct the coachee to see him or herself in the future (tomorrow, next week, next time X
happens) as if watching a movie with him or herself in it, using this new behavior.

2. Have him or her step into the picture and look out from his/her own eyes, noticing what
he/she notices around him or her, listening to the sounds s/he hears and feeling how s/he
feels being in that situation now. Ask questions that elicit pictures, sounds and feelings as if
it were happening NOW. Then, dissociate by stepping out of the picture.

3. Lead the coachee through the new method s/he has just learned so that s/he will have
practiced it again (in his/her mind) in this new way. Then, when the future situation
arrives, s/he will have already experienced it successfully, in turn making the actual
occurrence easier and smoother.

4. End the explorations by once again seeing the dissociated values-based self-image.

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 The Values-Based Self-Image Exercise (the VBSI) is an exercise with the purpose of
assisting coachees to develop a positive self-concept so that they can take action towards
their intended results more effectively and with satisfaction. For example, the coachee
might state that what gets in the way of their success is a lack of confidence, or fear of
failure, or a belief in a low level of competence. The VBSI is an effective mental rehearsal
technique that can assure high performance as well as increased effectiveness over time.

1. Coach begins by inviting the coachee to think of three qualities that they would like to
experience more of in their day-to-day life. Some choices might be creativity, vision,
flexibility, confidence, joy, energy, curiosity, balance, sensitivity, grace, or humor. You
can probably think of many more that are personally your own. One that is good to
mention is humor. Humor and/or lightness often adds a lot to the quality of the
images that people use to develop daily life events.

2. Coach invites coachee to choose one of those qualities and asks the coachee to “go
back and remember a time” when they had that quality. Coach asks the coachee to
“revisit that moment and notice how you enjoy it, as if it is happening again right
now, in this moment.” Coach may invite the coachee to exaggerate the physiology of
the experience.

3. Coach then invites the coachee to dissociate the experience and view it from an
external viewpoint, like watching a movie of themselves. Coach assists coachee in
creating this visual to reflect the specific behavior of the chosen quality. Coachee is
invited to notice Coach may mirror some of the cues and provide descriptions of what
the coach noticed while the coachee accessed their quality. For example, “I noticed
your back straightened and your shoulders lifted while you breathed deeply
and more slowly.” Invite coachee to exaggerate the quality.

4. Coach invites coachee to see themselves walking down a neutral street with the quality
“showing in the walk”.

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 5. Coach now asks detailed questions about the special walk which shows the valued
quality. Really notice what makes it special. For example, what do they see in the face
specifically? Perhaps they see a shine, or a glow in the face. Have them memorize the
detailed vision. Perhaps they notice the twinkle in the eyes, the deep breathing and the
aura of certainty. If there is laughter, use a zoom lens to enjoy the smile lines around
the eyes and the animation in the face.
Really notice the visual aspects of the quality you have chosen (perhaps creativity)
and viewed in the former movie. As you see yourself walking, imbued with creativity,
exaggerate the visual aspects of creativity that you saw in the remembered moment.
Notice how creativity immediately affects the whole body, giving a particular walk,
arms swing, look in the eye, and inner presence.

6. Coach repeats steps 2, 3, 4 and 5 with second quality and then asks the coachee to
merge quality one and two into a version of themselves with both qualities together.

7. Coach repeats steps 2, 3, 4, 5 and 6 with final quality. The result is the Values-Based
Self-Image with three qualities blended together.

8. Coach ‘tests’ the VBSI by asking the coachee to create a future (dissociated) movie of
their VBSI in a challenging situation in which the coachee can see how that future
version of themselves responds resourcefully. Repeat the two other different future
scenes in which the client can see their VBSI in action. The coachee is invited to
choose scenarios where they would best benefit from stepping into their VBSI. The
coachee is invited to practice this future pacing of their VBSI daily for at least 21 days.

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 Problem: What’s wrong? Outcome: What do you want?

Failure: Whose Fault is it? Feedback: How can you learn?

Why: Why did that happen? How: How did that happen?
Limitation: How could that limit you? Opportunity: How is this an opportunity?

Throughout our lives we receive feedback. Sometimes it is given directly, sometimes

indirectly. Sometimes the feedback is positive, and sometimes negative. If we are
fortunate, the feedback helps us learn something about ourselves. However, sometimes
feedback creates negative feelings and does little to improve our performance.

Think about an unforgettable negative feedback experience where the feedback given
created negative feelings in you. Then, answer the following statement:

1. Describe what it was about the way the feedback was given that created such a
negative effect.

2. Was the feedback requested or imposed?

3. What impact did this feedback have on your feelings and subsequent performance?

Now remember a time when you received positive feedback that increased your self-
esteem and motivation. Then, answer the following:

1. Describe what it was about the way the feedback was given that created such a
positive effect.

2. Was the feedback requested or imposed?

3. What impact did this feedback have on your feelings and subsequent performance?

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 Effective feedback has the following characteristics:

Effective feedback includes a description of the feelings that someone else’s behavior has
aroused in us. When we give descriptive feedback, our intention is to communicate to
others what we are experiencing. When we give evaluative or judgmental feedback, our
intention frequently is to judge the other person, or to present some evaluation of the
quality or worth of his or her behavior.

Usually, it is not very helpful to be told that you are being emotional or apathetic, irrational
or cold, touchy or insensitive. Such characterizations are so general that it doesn’t take a
very sharp observer to make a comment with a grain of truth in it. While these
characterizations are so broad that they may be ‘true’, they describe the person at such a
general and abstract level that the information received is of no direct or practical use. We
need action level feedback if we are to see ourselves become effective.

Being told you are dominating or retiring, frustrating or amusing, inhibiting or helpful may
not provide any clue for a behavior change. If you feel someone is trying to dominate the
group, then feedback directed to specific modifiable behavior will provide suggestions as to
a desired direction of change.

“If you want me to follow your line of thought or understand how you feel, I could stay with
you better if you would make your statements shorter and give me a chance to question
when I don’t understand.”

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 For feedback to be useful:

The person must understand the information.

The person must be able to accept the information.
The person must be able to do something with the information.

1. Present perceptions, reactions and opinions as such, not as facts.

2. Feedback should refer to relevant performance, behavior, action steps, or outcomes,

not to the individual as a person.

3. Give feedback in specific, observable behavior terms (not general or global).

4. When feedback must be evaluative rather than descriptive, it should be in terms of

established criteria.

5. Feedback about performance should provide examples of what are ‘high’ and
‘low’ areas of that performance, as well as the specific behaviors which appear to be
contributing to or limiting effectiveness.

6. In discussing problem areas (where there are established procedures or solutions)

suggestions should be given to improve performance. Where is one specific area where
beginning steps might be taken?

7. Feedback should avoid emotion-raising. ‘Loaded’ terms generate defensiveness.

8. Feedback should deal with things that the individual can control.

9. Deal with emotional reactions or defenses as such rather than arguing or trying to
convince by logic or facts.

10. Feedback should be given in a way to show acceptance of the receiver as a

worthwhile person and as someone who has the right to be different.

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 1. Listen carefully.

2. Do not get defensive—mentally note disagreements.

3. Paraphrase what you hear to check your perception.

4. Ask questions for clarification and for examples where you are unsure. Paraphrase
again.

5. Carefully evaluate the accuracy and potential value of what you have heard.

6. Gather additional information from other people or watch your own behavior and
other people’s reactions.

7. Do not overreact to feedback. Modify in the suggested direction and watch the
results.

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 It is useful to assist the coachee in the art of asking for and exploring feedback. Here are
some ideas you might share with the coachees as some useful ways for checking out the
reality of how people see them.

1. Ask neutral people. Don’t ask people who are emotionally involved with you. Don’t
ask people who may want to punish you.

2. Get a consensus. You need three or more opinions so that you can learn why others
see things differently.

3. Check out consistency. Do they all see it the same way all the time? If not, take a
look at the inconsistencies. Try to learn why there is inconsistency. Are they really
leveling with you? Do the differences stem from your relationship with each person?
Or do they come from the way these different people perceive reality?

4. Seek out the differences in their perception and yours. If people see you differently
from how you see yourself, ask them to say more. This way you will learn more
about them and you.

5. Don’t argue. No matter what people say, do not disagree or defend. It will destroy
the feedback you need.
6. Welcome the difference as an opportunity to learn something, even if it’s only a
different point of view from your own.

7. Say ‘thank you’ and mean it. They are helping you. If you don’t show your
appreciation for the help, they may not respond next time.

8. Look for flexibility rather than absolutes. When you get small differences, it is likely
both are partially correct.

9. Take a close look at your feelings and see if you are translating them into action.
Feelings are not actions, so they are not reality for other people. For example, you
may feel very loving towards your mate, but unless you act that way, you are not
being real.

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 As a coach, giving feedback is committing yourself to ‘a reality’ that is also about yourself.
Notice your creation carefully. If you and the coachee are devoted to giving others
feedback, this second group of ideas is well worth exploring.

• We can easily come to believe that our behavior causes someone else’s behavior.

• We presuppose that we give feedback only for the sake of the receiver.

• We believe that people change their behavior solely through information.

• We threaten people with negative feelings or loss of love.

• We fail to realize that negative feedback commits one to a continued relationship

more than positive feedback.

• We are unaware of projection and transference.

• We believe in ‘one trial’ learning.

• We forget that behavior is contextual and relational.

• We discount the unconscious causes of behavior.

• We predict that the other person will change.

• We make an investment in the other person making changes.

• We fail to recognize that negative feedback may concern something that the
receiver is invested in and does not want to change.

• We fail to realize that behaviors are interconnected and that a surface change may
require a much deeper change than the person is willing to make.

• We fail to realize that the most important person listening to our feedback might be
ourselves.

• We view other people as smart when their feedback matches our own perceptions.

• We are unaware of, or naive about, our own shadow.

• Feedback more often meets the needs of the sender than the receiver.

• Feedback generally describes the giver more than the receiver.

• The least relevant person tends to provide feedback most often (even your best
friends won’t tell you).

• Negative feedback commits the giver more deeply than positive feedback. Often
feedback limits rather than enhances growth.

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 • Feedback is transmitted unintentionally (and frequently nonverbally) more often
than intentionally.

• The receiver influences the content of feedback more than the giver does.

• When one develops new skills, one receives negative feedback about them.

• Feedback generally produces no change.

• The more important the content and the more central the giver, the more we avoid
the feedback given.

• The greater one’s claims of receptivity, the more likely one is to be hurt, or become
dependent.

• Feedback often comes when least expected and under the least auspicious
circumstances.

• Capturing and sorting prove more important in using feedback than do integration
and acceptance.

• Feedback often induces conformity and reduces creativity.

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 • Speak clearly.
• Cultivate the ability to pace the other person’s volume, tone, tempo and pitch. To do
this, you must develop the ability to vary your voice.
• Cultivate ranges in your voice: from loud to soft, fast to slow, high-pitched to deep.
• If you are speaking in an environment of noise, contrast your message with the noise
by making it softer, slower or deeper.

The ‘beyond conscious mind’ does not respond to negatives because it specializes in
visualizing an aim. When a person is told, “Don’t do such-and-such” the unconscious mind
only hears the “do such-and-such”. (To demonstrate this principle, instruct yourself or
someone else not to imagine a bouncing red ball.) Thus, it is possible to assist a person to
build images they want while ostensibly telling them not to do that very thing. For
example, “Don’t discover how you can learn to do this well” or “You might not want to
practice this.” By the same token, it is possible to inadvertently suggest to a person to do
something you don’t want him to do. An example of this is telling a child “don’t get dirty”.

Become aware of covert suggestions in daily life, such as in conversations, songs, written
material and advertising. This will assist you to get very clear and exact in your messages
to your coachee.

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 Use these four coaching tones and connect them to four functions.

• Tactical, directive
• Short, clear: giving sharp instructions

• Woos one towards appreciation and generous forgiveness

• Associative and warm tonalities

• Softness, openness and even tenderness in voice

• Conspiratorial, informational

• “You have resources; let’s get a strategy here...”

• The declaration of blessing, benediction, and ongoing development

• “You are whole and complete…”

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 Created by Marilyn Atkinson

To create flow states, our framework needs to be open-ended. Here, with three chairs, only
one chair represents the conscious mind, or the already known, closed choices. The other
chair represents what is not known, or the open-ended choices. The third chair represents
“the point beyond that’ where you notice and integrate “both/and”. This again takes us a
step further beyond the “either/ors”. In this way, the very structure of the three chairs, as
positions, points to the “beyond the beyond”, or the open-ended as a capacity of the
explorer.

Use this exercise to introduce a new client to the power of focused, open-ended questioning
to the beyond-conscious mind, or the deeper knowledge system that we all have. If we only
direct our questions to the conscious mind, we are limited in the tools we access. Most
people do not notice that they can direct questions very specifically in this way. We need to
specify our questions inward, and aim them to the largest, most comprehensive knowledge
system that we can connect with.

Developed by Marilyn Atkinson in 1985, this exercise is a method to assist individuals to

become more conscious of the inner voice and tone, the visuals, and the feelings of
communication with the deep awareness system we often call the unconscious or beyond-
conscious mind.

In pairs, A is coachee and B is coach:

B sets out three chairs for the coachee to use. Place them theatre-style, with two chairs
side-by-side at the back of the set and one chair in front. Use a V-shape. All chairs are
facing the same direction.

A chooses one chair to represent the ‘conscious mind’, and beside it, a second to represent
the deep awareness chair or ‘beyond-conscious mind.’ The chair placed in front of these will
be the ‘integration’/‘coach position’ chair.

Using a voice tone and tempo suitable for casual conversation, B asks the coachee his or
her pre-selected question. (See the question suggestion choices added at the end of the
exercise). The same question will be repeated for all three chairs as A sits on each of them,
one by one. A will slowly move from the ‘conscious mind’ chair to the ‘unconscious mind’

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 chair, and then to the ‘integration’ chair. With each chair, the question will be spoken
inward by the coachee as an inner request for self-direction.

A asks the question first from the ‘conscious mind’ chair; second, from the ‘beyond
conscious mind’ chair; and finally, from the ‘integration’ chair. The coach will also take on
the role of ‘scribe’ and write down all commentary by A as s/he responds with the thoughts
that emerge from each of the three chairs.

The coachee takes the ‘conscious mind’ chair, ponders the question, and whatever
occurs to him or her will be the response. The coach quickly writes down A’s
responses.
When the explorer is complete, the coach requests that s/he now move to the
‘deeper knowledge system’ or ‘beyond-conscious mind’ chair. For this chair, the
coach will begin asking the question again, using a softer, slower voice to evoke
the deepening of the exploration process. The coach re-asks the key question,
adding in cues such as “take some time, relax, just find the right place to listen
and access your inner knowledge.’ The coach will demonstrate this with his/her
own behavior, for example, by adopting a more relaxed posture, opening the
hands, or softening the eyes. The coachee listens and attends to inner responses,
and describes any words, pictures, movies, or feelings, as they appear. Again, the
coach will write down his/her responses carefully.
The client now takes the third ‘coach position’ or ‘integration’ chair, in front of the
other two. The coach, facing the coachee, backtracks and repeats what has been
said. For example, he or she might say: “Your conscious mind has said… (list
responses). Your deeper knowing mind has said… (list responses).”
Coach and coachee have a conversation about the discoveries.
Notice if, and how, the conscious and beyond-conscious modes show deep support
and integration with each other. The coach can continue supporting the client in
appreciating the conscious-unconscious system with words like: “Notice how they
support each other. It is sometimes useful to sense them, like presences, behind
your shoulders. Notice if they form a connected linkage. You may indicate the
experience of integration by closing the hands together.”
Coachee observes and senses for integration and takes as long as needed. The
second step in the exercise is simply to request more information about ‘who
asks’ and ‘who answers’ these requests and how to find ways to learn more
deeply about them. And then, even beyond them, ‘who asks’ and ‘who answers?’
Continue until you can go no further. Once again, sense the integration. Rest in
this. The exercise is now complete.

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 In pairs, A is client and B is coach:
1. B sets out three chairs for the subject to use.

2. A decides which chairs will be designated for the conscious mind and the
unconscious
mind.

3. Using a voice tone and tempo suitable for casual conversation, the coach asks the
coachee a question such as the one given below:

“What ways of learning will be most important for you in your continuing
development of new capacities for self-exploration?”

4. A takes the ‘conscious mind’ chair and responds.

5. When A is complete, B requests that A move to the ‘beyond conscious mind’ or

‘deeper knowledge’ chair. Using a softer, slower, voice, he or she re-asks the
question, adding in cues such as, “Take some time, relax, and find the right place to
access your deeper self.” Meanwhile, B can be physically demonstrating relaxation
and deep reflection with his or her own behavior and tone.

6. A takes time to allow ‘the beyond conscious’ mind to answer the question and pays
attention carefully to the inner tones, inner sensing and visuals.

7. B writes down what A says.

8. A takes the third chair, the ‘coach position’ or ‘integration’ chair, in front of the other
two. B, facing the coachee, backtracks and repeats what has been said, “Your
conscious mind has said…” or “Your ‘beyond-conscious’ voice has said…”
“Take your time. Notice how both minds connect and form a useful set of ideas. Find
some way to verbally integrate the two modes.” (A may indicate awareness of both
by closing the hands together.)

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 Appropriate questions need to be open-ended, developmental and require a particular
learning aim. For example, what ways of learning will be most important for me in my
continuing development of inner skill…

• … developing further capacity for learning (in)…?

• … unfolding inner knowledge about …

• … evolving leadership skill (in area x)…?

• … exploring specific areas of development (or goals x, y and z)…?

• … sponsoring the emergence of a specific creative field (a, b, or c)…?

When you have completed the exercise, ask your client what his or her various responses
in the exercise indicate. Some responses may be symbolic, and your client may want to
request clear understanding. Inform your client that inner meaning will be available when
they ask inwardly with warm appreciation.

One woman exclaimed during a Three Chairs exercise, “I’m afraid to sit in the other chair—
if I get great ideas, I’ll have to do them.” The coach said, “Perhaps you might want to,
perhaps not. If you get a lot, you will probably get some great ones that you might want to
start.”

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 Coach asks coachee to determine what color they would like to make each hat. If preferred,
use a cloak or glasses.

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 BUDDY COACH OBSERVER FORM
COACH: DATE:
CLIENT: OBSERVER:
USE THE
ESTABLISH INITIATE CREATE AN REVIEW CELEBRATE
OUTCOME ASK VALUE
RAPPORT CONTRACT EXPERIENCE ACTION STEPS CLIENT
FRAME
DID THE COACH: DID THE COACH: DID THE COACH: DID THE COACH: DID THE COACH: DID THE COACH: DID THE COACH:
¨ Enter Coach ¨ Initiate ¨ Ask: “How ¨ Ask: “How ¨ Review Action Ask for the Value Thank the Client?
Position? Contract? would you might you Plan? of the Session?
¨ Match the ¨ Mention Time know you’ve get it? ¨ Establish a
Client? Frame? got it?” -------------------- Commitment?
¨ Shift towards ---------- ¨ Use Powerful
¨ Use Softeners?
Customer ¨ Ensure the Questioning:
¨ Use
from Contract is: "As-If" Frame
Backtracking? Stated in the Shifts?
Complainer/
¨ Recap? Visitor? Positive? ¨ Scaling?
-------- ¨ Within Client’s ¨ Open-Ended
¨ Demonstrate Control? Questions
the ERICKSON ¨ S.M.A.R.R.T? ¨ Logical Levels?
PRINCIPLES? ¨ Ecological? ¨ And/or
------------ Coaching
¨ Confirm Exercises?
Contract? ---------------
¨ Recaps ¨ Ask: “How
Values? might you
commit to
this/develop
it further?”
Cultivates Trust and
Establishes and Maintains Agreements Facilitates Client Growth
Safety
Embodies a Coaching Mindset, Maintains Presence, Listens Actively, Evokes Awareness
¨ DID THE COACH: Stay in Coach Position, Maintain Rapport, and use Solution-Focused Questioning throughout the session?
¨ DID THE COACH: Re-Contract as needed?
 ICF Core Competencies Observed:
¨ Cultivates ¨ Establishes and ¨ Listens Actively
Trust & Maintains Agreements ¨ Evokes Awareness
Safety ¨ Facilitates Client Growth
¨ Maintains ¨ Embodies a Coaching Mindset
Presence

What Worked Well?:

Even Better If:

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