New World New You Challenge - D2

Tony Robbins
Notes by Michael Burley

Identity is Everything

KK
We need energy, focus & a peak state
Doing the 2021 vision you need to get it in your body
Get familiar with being uncomfortable and get used to it every day
Challenges created to overcome and move you forwards
Who was at the very least nudged by the Comeback challenge last July to make changes & rise to
the challenge
Testimony of Marcus, an actor who lost 90% of his work when Covid hit

Brian Bradley
Diagrams of right angles of arms, legs & frame
Looking at this, the ankle, knees, hip & shoulders should be verticle RH image
Hips & arms should be level LH image

Lighter lines show misalignment & its no wonder you have pain when exercising
Instead of focusing on life happening to me vs for me
Treat injury as an opportunity to get yourselves into shape & body to move to next level

Elbow curve & arm swirl. Feet in position with outsides parallel
If your legs are apart this is not where your hips are p2 so go P3
Drop shoulders, fingers curled over with 2 knuckles, thumb out, shoulders blades back
Arms rotating in small circle & faster, arms not forwards but centred on directly your sides
First do 40 times up & forwards rotation

Maintain right angle between for & upper arm & swing your elbow back behind you
Not arms forwards & backwards or up & down like milking cows
A slight bobing up & down of pelvis is normal for this exercise
Maintain for 20 seconds at maximum energy then switch legs over & repeat
KK - 10 second energy krank to bring Tony on
Power of Identity - Tony
Yesterday we focused on how to create more energy
Energy comes from movement even in your chair - make some noise
Today is one of the most important topics for everyone
As you get into a normal seminar you lose track of time because you are having fun & being
shifted
A long time is anytime you are not enjoying yourself. A minute can seem like eternity if you are
going thru something horrible
Time is really emotion so when you are enjoying yourself my normal 12-14h seminar day flies by
We want to give you tools every day without hype but things that generate momentum for growth
For 2021 to be your best year, you must move up the the next level

Take control of your own mind - yesterday details

You can't build something new if you are still hanging on to something old or bad that doesn't
serve you
Get to a place beyond where you were
We all get knocked down to our knees but what do you do in response - you get up & keep moving
forwards
Even if something was unjust or unfair eventually we have got to let go & move on or we become
a prisoner
We can take lessons from all the “bad” experiences & build a new better future for ourselves
The greatest story of humanity is always the comeback - The Rocky story
It is where we go when we do get knocked down or off course
Anybody can do well when life is going their way, but can you find a way to do well when life is
against you?
Yesterday we covered how we can look back on bad events & say I wish it had not happened
But we are better today because of it or we leaned lessons that help us in some way
You get what you look for
What are the invisible things that are controlling us - emotions
We have our emotional homes & we usually find a way back to it whether it is beautiful or terrible -
mentally & emotionally
Today we want to show you what controls that emotional
home - It’s called Identity
Without a vision the people perish - if it is just get country back to work - its not much of a vision
during Covid
To get to a better place may require a better you than the one that is currently overwhelmed or
stressed
When I was younger i was driven to understand human psychology as the most popular kid in
school treated me like trash
I wanted to have as many tools to help people change and my first customer was me because I
had to turn myself around
A lot of the things I did for a short term then I would go back
I got frustrated with myself & we often have high expectations for ourselves & you here are
pushing yourselves to grow

I wanted to change me which was my motivation

We move forwards then we fall back - it is human nature. I used to beat myself up when I didn't
progress as desired
When we beat ourselves up our precious energy is drained & it becomes a vicious cycle
How many want a major change & want it to last - see statement above
I asked myself why does one person succeed while others do not
I discovered there are patterns. If someone tells me they are on day 4 of a change its because
they are counting
Why are they counting, so they tell people how long they lasted, they are going to go back.
They haven't made a lasting change, only one in the moment
The only way to make a lasting change is to shift your identity

Critical statement - strongest force in the human

personality is the need to stay consistent with how we
define ourselves
If you develop a belief that you are a loser and no matter what you try you always fail
If you tell lies long enough, loud enough, big enough sooner or later you will believe it - origin Hitler
We can be Hitler to ourselves so if you have a limited identity & always screw up
Example of Q&A last night. One woman kept getting bad guys because she wanted badass who in
reality only thinks of himself
She then tires of him & starts overeating because she feels bad - sound familiar
You like having a person with energy & emotion to make things happen but when he is selfish its a
problem
I told her what I perceive is that you just haven't learned to discern a guy with real masculinity &
one doing it for himself
Lets say you decide to go for something & you get going but you shrink back because of fear
which we all get
When you do this a few times you don't want feel bad about yourself so you say you are a
procrastinator
Once you make it your identity, that xxx is you, with I AM attached to it,
then you will carry thru because we are that in our own eyes
Once there is enough emotion attached to it you believe it then you live it
Remember colours exercise yesterday when you saw beige & called it brown then found burgundy
& called that red
You are going to find what you look for
Your identity defines what you look for and what you find, it controls what
you see
Remember the story of not finding the salt even right before your eyes. Your belief blinds you
Identity is the lever that can change your life faster than anything else & its the way you get lasting
change
You ID is defined by who you believe you are and what you believe you are not
How many here gave up smoking then those who went back keep hand up
If I come to you and ask if you want a smoke & you ask me what brand is it
To give up smoking saying you are not a smoker is very effective way if you believe it in your body
If you are not a smoker, you are not going to ask what brand is it, you won't even consider it
Your decisions are controlled by your identity
If you want to stop smoking but you keep fighting it, will power doesn't last
If they link enough pain to it or say I am not a smoker & they get that in their nervous system, they
can't smoke a cigarette
Many parents come up to me at events & ask me to tell their child to do xxx because kid won't
listen to them
I invariably ask why & they say if you say it they will listen & do it because they idolise me
I then ask why won't your child do it when you ask. They don't know so I say
Kids may not respect parents because their identity for that parent is - they don't keep their word
Everything in your life, how you respond to yourself, how other people respond to you - family &
friends is your identity
Brands are a form of identity. Your brand determines how people interact with you
Helen Wood from UK - Tony picks her at random from VIP on Zoom
Lets say we have a set of positive beliefs about Helen - she is a warm generous person
We form these beliefs from our observation of her behaviour
What if we even believe she is our friend
If we believe she is warm and a friend how much will this effect how we interact with her - a little or
a lot?
It will be significant!
What if Helen, our dear friend comes by and treats you meanly which is way outside her normal
behaviour we are wondering
You will be freaked out at this event because its inconsistent with her identity of being warm &
friendly
If we then can't resolve the situation then you probably rationalise her behaviour as having a bad
day
If you think she is a manipulative bitch and she is treating you real nice what is first thing that
comes to your mind
Most will Q what does she want because its outside her “bitch” identity
How many of you have had a bad day & hoped others would have flexibility with you?
What you think about Helen & how you interact with her is not controlled by Helen
Its controlled by beliefs you have about Helen or the identity you have about Helen

The more powerful identity is the one you have about yourself
The way you have defined yourself really controls you
It can be to your advantage
Lance Armstrong was one of the greatest most recognised athletes in the world
He did things no athlete had done before as a cyclist & brought great fame to America
Before this he always had this mindset that he always finds a way to win - that's his mindset
Problem with that is he would do anything to win including break the rules about doping
This harmed his identity around his career as an athlete
By using doping his beliefs didn't serve him in cycling because he was disqualified
But when he found he had cancer in 3 organs it did serve him because he overcame cancer
against doctors opinion
Doctor sat him down one day & told him cancer was in his lung (golf ball size), have it in brain &
testicles
They told him you are going to die, he was terminal
His identity was - I find a way to victory & I will do whatever it takes
That belief served him then, he is still living cancer free

If you say to yourself you are going to find a way, you will
If you say to yourself I always end up losing. Whatever is negative in your identity, that is what is
controlling your life
you can go to 5000 seminars & read 100s of books and do all kinds of crazy things but unless you
shift that identity
You are going to call it sabotaging yourself but what the brain is doing is living what you taught it is
We live what we believe we are
We have to be careful with what we attach the words I AM to
One of the most powerful days in my life still after decades of learning & growing
I had left home because my mom had driven me out of home with a knife
She had kicked my 4th dad out of the house so I wasn't going back when I was 17 & still at school
I had to support myself so did cleaning offices at night & had to drive or take buses to get there
My mom had taken my car away from me by then so I had to use buses to get to work
Story of getting home after working at bank when he left home he found out buses on strike
I ran home 14mile and I had never run 3 mile before
I built an identity that night which I still use till this day by using incantations
Not affirmations where you say “I am happy, I am happy” & your brain goes BS, we are not happy
You are just saying words
Speak something with total authority out loud so feel it & experience it
over & over again
You train or hypnotise yourself into owning that belief or identity
I found a part of myself which I still use today & I repeat powerful beliefs that support me
I conditioned that core belief which gave me certainty to be able to do things I had never done
before
It gave me a way to strengthen my will & expand my identity

You judge things you have done & use that to define yourselves
People do things all the time that are not consistent with who they are
If you keep pointing it out to yourself eventually you might say I am a screwup
When in reality Successes fail far more than most so using a failure as your definition is bad idea
Great athletes & entertainers don't just show up that way they failed a lot on their journey
We all are rewarded in public for what you consistently practice & refine in
private
Successes fail more often so they learn quicker
The bottom line is if we are going to make a shift we have to shift the way we define ourselves or
we keep coming back to the way it was
We often define ourselves base on our behaviour
People are not their behaviour - People are NOT their behaviour
Have you ever done something stupid or said bad things when you were overstressed
If you don't put up your hand you lie about other things too don't you
We can all get in a state of fear, anger, worry, sadness or rage & if you do that multiple times you
start to believe that's who I am
But you are so much more than that
If you lock in that definition it controls you & becomes a part of you
Metaphor of your comfort zone (your identity) - money amount, intimacy etc
Story of how a thermostat works - keeping temperature within a range both above & below what is
set
Relate that to yourself as to how your mind operates - around your comfort zone
This can apply to any & all areas of your life
With you body you want to be stronger but 68° is what you are used to
68° is your comfort zone or in this case your identity
It is what you expect to have, not how much you want to have
When temperature drops low enough then computer warns you so you act to get back up to 68°
You then get back up to where you belong to your identity which is 68°
The same thing happens when you succeed more that you expect
When you get up to 99° then you work down to where you think you are supposed to be
The air conditioning will kick in to bring you back down to where you believe you are supposed to
be
Thermostat is your identity. Change it or lasting change will
be short lived
I am here to tell you that the thermostat is your identity & until you change it you will not see
lasting change
When you tried your first cigarette did you say yummy, no you coughed and your brain said “hey
what are you doing”
Another part of your brain said shut up, the glamour will be worth it
In my parents day in the 1950s, James Dean looked cool smoking so people wanted that identity
that James had
Today people do this by smoking, how many tattoos or earrings they have etc
We all have different identities - having a different watch than others
These things are a reflection of how you perceive yourself to be
There is no right or wrong here but if you are not getting the results you want in your relationships
or in your body
Its because you have an identity that is in the way

If you are not getting the results you want it’s just your identity which is a set of beliefs that I
repeated many times over
Even though you are wired to think a certain way you can rewire yourself to think & be a different
way
There is no way in hell that I would have had the privilege to be with you now if I had not
continually upgraded my identity
We need to be continually upgrading our identities all our lives - its not a one time thing
If I find myself not doing something I often say well that just not me or I am not one of those people
If this is the case you have to ask yourself, when did I define myself this way & how
long ago
Have I learned things since then, do I know more now - maybe its time to redefine who I am
Ask people who they are & the descriptions they use to define themselves
People write all kinds of things but the things they identify with most will control their lives
If you want to change your life, change your story
Your story begins with who you believe you are & therefore how I am going to live my life
you have heard of People in their 40’s or 50’s who have identity crisis - they don't know who they
are anymore
If you question who you are then you don't know what to do
That’s why people create so many labels for things & people
Labels can enhance your life at times or they can be restrictive
You also don't want to label other people & then stick them in a box

In the beginning of an intimate relationship, everything is often totally open & everything is
wonderful
Later when you have some problems with family, kids, parents etc you start putting labels on one
another often negative & restrictive
If you do that enough, especially if you go tell your friends about it it becomes more substantial
One woman called her husband - The Prince of Darkness. I told her jokingly that is really going to
enhance your relationship
You are going to look for everything he does wrong, everything that is mean, everything that is
dark - don't believe this stuff
Years ago a friend would say at the end of a social evening - I have to go home to the ball & chain
I thought wow, that is really compelling. 6 months later a buddy who hung around the first guy
started using the same phrase
The 2nd guy loved his wife and I could see the relationship change so I opened his eyes to what
was happening
Be careful of the limiting identity you attach to someone
If you Get it only in your head you are dead, live from your heart
The mind wants to make good or bad, black or white. It wants to generalise, destroy & delete to
keep things simple
Life is a little more complex than these over simplifications which cause you to miss out on things
that really matter
Think of something you are not doing that you want to do & you are not doing it - Why?
I can almost guarantee that it is not part of you identity so it just doesn't fit with where you want to
go
At one point I decided to spend 9 months working out to get my body into top shape
Studies show if you work out for 9 months, you will continue for life
You may get injured or hurt or drop off for a while but you will be pulled back to it because you will
be so wired that it is part of your ID
Moms have an identity shift that they are now a mom & there are things moms do
A mother has a whole different set of decisions & way of looking at things than a childless woman

We have multiple identities - warrior, magician etc these are not the only ones. Anything that
supports you, use it
The secret is to find identities that lift you & get you to follow through
If you think you are a health enthusiast or similar you do not sit slovenly on the sofa
We define ourselves by what we are not as well as what we are
If you develop that identity you will work out consistently
How do you do it. Start with creating your actions.
I want to show you the full picture of your life - An extraordinary life - what is that - Not my
definition, its yours
I would define an extraordinary life as life on your terms.
Family or big CEO, artist, actor, astronaut - what do you want most for your life
To get it, Define yourself in a way that pulls you towards that goal so who you are is consistent to
do that
George W Bush after retiring became a painter. He went to an expert & said there is a Rembrant
in here, your job is to get him out
Anything can become owned for you - become your identity. I did not start out as I am. I had to
train myself to become who I am
To get to where I wanted I had to see myself as someone willing to take risks, an intelligent risk
taker
Before, I saw myself as I don't take risks, I can't afford that, we have no this, we have no that
First step in changing your story is to expand or enhance your identity
If you are not having the extraordinary results you want at this point or at the level of quality you
want
Most people want results now, not details of how brain cells work
I asked myself how do I make things simple enough so you will truly execute them, so you truly
follow through
We all know knowledge is not power, knowledge is potential power
Execution trumps knowledge every day of the week
Not enough to have the knowledge, you have to follow through

5 To Thrive
To make this happen you need 5 things and if you are not where you want to be, one or more of
these 5 are out
If you change all 5 of these things there is zero chance your life will not change
Start with a triangle & in the middle is what controls your life
Everything in your life is controlled by the Mental & emotional state you
are in right now.
If you are feeling angry, life is angry. If life is playful you are going to find enjoyment is silly things
Everything is your state. The quality of your life is where you live emotionally or the
state you are in most often
If you are not in the state you want, you have to change it
How can we change our state?
Lets start with the core 3 elements that control how we feel & the meanings you give your life
There are 3 triggers in this triangle

1. Physiology first.
Fastest was to change is to radically change your body or voice or gestures
This is simply the way you use your body
If I make a radical change with my body, my voice, my eyes or my gestures instantaneously it
changes biochemistry
Then what you are going to do changes like that - click with fingers
We spoke yesterday about standing like superman or wonder woman increased testosterone &
reduced cortisol -
Just 2 minutes standing like Superman making you more likely to take action
Physiology can be static like standing or dynamic like dancing. If its dynamic your body’s going to
change even quicker
Who remembers as a little kid making strange sounds & being told to shut up but you enjoyed it?
How many of you like singing when no one is around? Singing changes how you feel so you like it
even if you sound terrible
Physiology of a depressed person - shoulder drooped, head forwards, shallow breathing, low
voice,
That way of using your body will put yourself in an uncertain or shitty state
Many of us get into the habit of using our bodies in a certain way over & over so we feel the same
emotions & know no way out
If your identity is - I am conservative, I am quiet, when someone is outrageous you say OMG, I
would never do that
But when did you decide you were conservative & quiet? How many decades ago?
Do you use the same software on computer from 30 years ago, 20 years ago or even 10 years
ago, hell no
We upgrade our phones often but we often don't upgrade our brains.
We should be changing our beliefs constantly, expanding as they serve
us
The way you move is one of the things that defines how you see yourself
At UPW you are using your body for 4 days & nights in a lively dynamic way
Story of how monkey experiment on moving fingers at Irvine Uni
If you move your index finger once there is a string of connection between nerve cells in your brain
Repeat it once & now there are 2 strings of connection. Do it 10,000 times now you are wired to do
it
They untaped the other 4 fingers on the monkey’s hand & now he constantly moves his finger for
no reason
So what, I’m not a monkey, what’s the point?

How many of you have a way to drive to work, in the days when you went to work, that was always
the same every day?
Most of us had a pattern which we did every day before Covid
Ever had a time when you had to do something different but your brain was out to lunch so you got
off the wrong place
We often unconsciously do things because we are so used to it
We get wired to do things so they are automatic
We get conditioned and it becomes a part of you
An amazing fact about the monkey experiment was researchers found they didn't have to bend
monkeys finger 10,000 times
If they bent the monkeys finger and simultaneously stimulate the pleasure centre of the brain
Instead of 10,000 times only 3 dozen times necessary because instead of each time of finger
bending one connection was made in the brain there were metaphorically 1000 strings of
connection
So when you train yourself with pleasure to do something again & again after a while it starts to
become a part of you
It becomes conditioned and becomes part of your identity
The way you move is one way to do this

At live UPW seminars we have the firewalk, its not about walking on fire but your brain says this is
intense, what am I doing here
I show you how to change your body from feeling scared out of your mind to certain so you storm
across the 2000° coals
Firewalk experience takes a breakthrough, changes our identity and you can handle other things
to
Now with virtual events I teach wood breaking so instead of 2 years of karate you use it as a
breakthrough
Your write on the wood what you want to breakthrough & we show you how to do it
Now we have even kids do it & they are out of their minds because what I thought was difficult or
impossible is actually easy
I get you to do something. I used to take people skydiving but now its hard to get 10,000 in planes
over London or LA
After you do it, it changes who you are
If you know you can walk on fire or break wood I can certainly deal with this stuff over here
Our physiology, the way we use our bodies, when you change the habit of that, you will change
the way you think & feel and most importantly it will change the state you live in at your nervous
centre
If you don't like the way you are feeling right now its because of the way you're sitting or moving
Could you be around a boring speaker yet be in a peak emotional state - is that possible?
Try this right now by sitting up in your chair to experience this
Sit and create more energy than you have felt in years - do it by moving your body & creating
sounds
Every time you do something with your body you rewire your brain
I don't like doing 12-14 hours a day but I know the difference in the results as with going for 5
hours with breaks
That is why we have such long seminars because of the immersion we install in your nervous
system
So you can learn about swimming or go swimming with someone who knows what they are doing
Your life is going to change, you are going to become a swimmer, not someone who understands
swimming

Try this
Get energised sitting then suddenly when I say go into a state of being bored & tired
Hold your body like you would if you were actually bored & tired
Peak state then down. The time periods for bored & tired progressively shorter & shorter
We are going to wire fast change in your body. Ultra fast change exercise for everyone
Your body wants to go into a good state. I didn't have to tell you how to get into a bored & tired
state
If you are in a lousy state you feel what your body wants to do
How many of your feel your body wants to go to that good place now
Imagine doing this day & night for 4 days while you are learning other things
You have a different body, you have a different mind, you have an expanded identity
Please notice, I didn't have to tell you how to get bored, tired & frustrated, you knew exactly what
to do
All you had to do was drop your shoulders, let your breathe out, let your face go down
Peak state you rose up, in fact notice the physiology
People come up to me often & tell me they feel down all the time & simultaneously aligning their
physiology to this state
Why do you think I feel so down? I go well mmm, lets look at your body
There are a few people who come up to me & say I am so up all the time, I don't know what it is
while seeing lively physiology
Because they use their body in a completely different pattern
Many of you when you feel bad or down you try to think yourself into feeling better

To simply Think yourself into feeling good - good luck, its possible but a lot harder
If you radically change your body, you will radically change your biochemistry
Remember if you just stand like superman or supergirl your biochemistry changes
If you use your voice and body dynamically it doesn't take 2 minutes, it
takes literally milliseconds
Some of you won't do this movement because you say this is rubbish & its not me, I’m not that
kind of person
What kind of person are you? Really, is that who you are? Or is that just a habit you have lived for
years?
You don't have to jump up & down like me and be crazy
But you do need to be willing to use your body differently if want different results
If your blood sugar is low its going to slow your state. If you overeat its going to change your state.

2. Focus = feelings.
Even if its not true. If you focus on how bad it is and that your life is going to end, you will feel like
it happened
Focus on what you want & see it as real & own it in your body simultaneously, your identity will
shift
If your brain says I’m doing this, I will find a way. If I can't find a way, I will make the way!
Focus & physiology together is powerful & transforms your life
Wherever focus goes, energy flows
If you put all your energy into OMG, this is terrible, all your energy will go there too
Ever had your kids spill the milk when you told them not to lift it up, their brains had to align to spill
the milk
Tell your kids to not spill the milk, that puts them in a state to not spill the milk
We must put ourselves in a state of what they want, not what we feel or don't want
Feel what you want or you will feel what you don't want
Ask most people what they want and they tell you what they don't want
I don't want, I don't want. They keep focusing on what they don't want so they keep experiencing
what they don't want
We want to focus on what we DO want
We want to see, feel & experience what we do want. That’s how we program our minds. Its how
we create
Otherwise you just end up managing the circumstances that your life or your government give you
These days that's questionable in a lot of places
People over reacting, deleting, distorting & generalising
Today people are so afraid of that 4 letter word - RISK
Can you imagine, none of us could have gotten here without significant risks
Back centuries ago people risked their lives to travel from EU to settle in a different country
To fight in a war or start a business, there were significant risks
Today its risky if you're around breathing next to someone, that's what they have got us believing
To be educated today you don't have to be highly intelligent just go read the following report

John Hopkins from 2 weeks ago tells you same number of dead in 2020, 2019, 2018, 2017,2016 &
2015
That's 3M per year with a variance of 10-15k people every year
They took it down but if you go on the wayback machine where it is still stored
The same number of old people died in 2020 with the only difference looking by disease
heart disease is down, cancer come down & proportionally up with Covid
This is very interesting. In case you hadn't noticed, the flu has disappeared, its flatlined
What are the symptoms of the flu, which does kill people especially the old.
So we are living in a world where people might be overreacting to protect us
If we had a death rate of 3-4%, that would be a pandemic but today depending whose research
you follow, its 0,1-0,3% - same as flu
If you are under 50 its way below that
We live in a world where if we let people control our focus, we are just going to live in fear & do
nothing
Then we will be people who manage our circumstances
Don't let yourself be manipulated. We are here to create things like love &
joy & businesses.
You can let someone condition you so that after a while you just accept it so your identity is to just
accept things

Training a baby elephant in a circus who learns that fighting the solid strong chain is pointless
An adult elephant could easily rip the building apart. They have small chain that cannot physically
hold them
Because of the training when they were a baby they are held psychologically - learned
helplessness
After just a week once they put the chain on it, the elephant doesn't even fight anymore
That is what has happened to so many people right now
I suggest you expand your identity to a person who is willing to take some risks intelligently and
have a life
Otherwise we have to shut down everything & we are going to have no risk
Focus = reality for an individual.
What if I create it the way I want it.
Focus = Feelings
Learn to take control of your focus. There are patterns of focus
Do you focus more on what you have or what is missing. Most say missing. Majority of achievers
focus on missing
That’s smart if you do that once a month, check in, let me fix it, but for achievers it becomes a
habit
If you always focus on what’s missing how can you ever sustain happiness. You can't
That’s why you see billionaires & entertainers then talk to them personally, they are not really
happy
Why is that, because they always focus on what missing
It’s never enough
You can't build on failure, you can only build on success
Success without fulfilment, joy & gratitude is failure. That is the ultimate failure
Train yourself to say, What do I have. What is here. What are my resources. What do I have with
me
That will completely change the way you feel

Another habit
Habit of focus on what you can control or ... cannot control.
80% of you here focus on what you can control. The same proportion in live seminars have same
focus %
Those 80% see they have control over their body, their mind, their emotions but yet came for more
control
How many of you are here to get more control
You tend to focus more on what you can control
But watch this
What do you think will happen if somebody focuses on what missing & what they can't control
They are going to be stressed out

Final Focal Point

Do you tend to Focus more on the past, the present or the future?
Where do you tend to put more of your focus
Write in the chat your answer
In my seminars most achievers focus on future. Asks about present & past too
What is the pattern here?
You look ahead to anticipate & create the future but you can miss the present & the joy of it
So the pattern goal here is to focus on what I have, focus on what I can control, focus on the
present so I can enjoy it and future to anticipate & influence it
Look at the opposite of this - what if someone’s focus is always on what’s missing, always focused
on what they can't control, and always focused on the past. This is likely leading to depression.
During Covid its very easy to focus on what you can't control, you just put your mind there
If you are focused on past or future too much so come into the present from time to time
Covid made
How many of you know someone who takes anti depressant but still depressed - 60-70% of you.
How come they are depressed while taking anti depressant? Suicidal thoughts are part of the
package
All it does is numb you. The reason they are still depressed is they haven't dealt with the source of
it
These patterns of how you use your body and how you use your focus control how you feel
They control the meaning of your life

3. Language = meaning
One word can change the meaning of everything - nutritious food vs delicious food. Your reaction
to each is different
Some people come to me and ask me to hook them up with another seminar participant
I usually say I know one who is nice. I could say sexy, crazy playful, outrageous,
So One word can change the meaning of everything
When you change the meaning, you change the emotions
We all use words a lot
Some of you are not changing because you keep using your body the same way, maintain the
same pattern of focus, & use same words or phrases
Remember the salt example - If you say over & over - I cannot find the salt - you will not see it
even in front of you - a blind spot
Our language programs us
My mother left messages while I was in UK she said I am humiliated when she couldn't reach me
because my system didn't pass calls on outside the country - in the days before mobile phones
when payphone boxes were normal along with answering machines
I had given my staff 10 days off so no one able to answer business calls
Message after message on answering mc showed my mom getting progressively more angry
On every message she said this is BS, why should I have to leave a message, I am humiliated
The words you use to describe or attach to your experience becomes your experience
I said, mom, you use that word too often so every time she used it to describe an uncomfortable
experience it became a rack of pain
What if you try something new like I am a little frustrated or sorry I didn't reach you or anything
else
Whatever words we speak affect our biochemistry
Its very different if you say “you are annoying me” as opposed to “ you are pissing me off because
I am enraged”
Some people use “enraged” for everything when they could have been just “peeved” or a word
that sound stupid that makes you smile instead of getting angry
Our words & our phrases shape how we feel.

We have habitual ways of doing things in movement, focus & language so we don't change
If you want to change the way you feel you have to change the state you are in & the 3 sides of
the triangle matter
Love requires you use you body in a different way
How would sit if you felt disgruntled. How would you use your body What would you focus on?
What Words. Some use colourful words
Shake your body out to let go of that state
Now you are really excited & happy. How would you be sitting? What sounds & Words of joy?
What do you focus on when happy?
If you wanted to feel happy right now what would you focus on? What would you be grateful for in
your life
Who do you love, who loves you
You can change the way you feel that fast just by changing your focus &
your body
If you change your focus long enough your body will change but changing your body is far easier
than just your focus
Then there are the words we use. Some use words that are explosive while others use words that
lower the intensity
These 3 tools - I call it the triad or the 3 moulders of meaning.
How you feel, your “state” is determined by the 3 sides

These 3 are having great influence on you

Put a circle around the triangle as the knowledge of what to do to change
But why will you use them. One of these is missing for most of you in the midst of Covid
You are only going to use these things if you think it will matter or make a difference
Now the 2 items which follow

4. Compelling Future
If you want to follow thru you need a reason to use your skills, change your state, do what’s
necessary to push thru the challenge
Only use your abilities if you think they are going to matter which many have forgotten during
Covid
You need to have a compelling future that drives you to take action
That’s why you need some really compelling goals
Yesterday I said people label themselves as lazy, there are no lazy people
There are just people with impotent goals. Goals that don't inspire them, goals that don't move
them
People get angry because there is no compelling future for life, they ask will we ever get out of the
house
Your goals affect you whatever they are. If they are painful, boring, uninspiring then you are not
inspired
We need a compelling future, one that drives us to take action
John F Kenedy set a goal for the country of going to the moon. NASA said we can't do that but
that is what a leader does
They created a compelling future then found a way
Today if you ask leaders what is the compelling future, in most countries it is not even to get back
to normal. No one is inspired
Keep people home and they get angry, both on left & right
They are tired of this stuff, there is no compelling future
Your job in life is to constantly create a compelling future for yourself
How do you do that in dark times. One way is to remember that dark times don't last.
Day always follows night. Spring always follows winter
Old phrase - Always darkest before the dawn. Why are such phrases used so often. - because
they are true
If you have a compelling future, that will drive you to take action
The most powerful source of all is the base outside the circle
If you believe you are here to create something in this life or other powerful reason you will take
action that is needed
The larger your vision, the more people will help you & the more inspired you will get as well
As per yesterday, you have to have small steps along the way to help you get there
The one that controls it all is the one we started this session with

5. Identity shapes all your choices

Identity is the foundation of you
What you are really going to do is what you believe
If we can shift identity we can literally shift anything
We don't do what we can, we do what we believe we are

Scot who had accident from yesterday is called up again today

There is a pattern for people who succeed even if they are blinded or paralysed
The people who do walk & talk after accident do something very different than everybody else
His first response was its BS about him not walking or talking again according to doctors
Everyone is a leader of a follower. You can follow but if you lead, you better decide what you will
do
Leaders take control of what they believe. He took responsibility to define what he
wanted to believe
Next he asked what action does he need to take to get back to normal walking & talking
My support team took me for a walk every day so I eventually rebuilt myself
Tony - What was the identity in you that said “I am going to walk again”
Most people, when an authority tells them something, they comply
If you would have told me a year ago that most people were going to be shut in their homes & they
would just comply
When they are healthy, give up social life & businesses - I would have said “no way in a million
years”
Amazing what fear will do to control when coming from an authority, people when in fear don't
think well
His personal ID (I am) - Love, husband, father. Learner. everything
Some people may be married but don't see themselves as a husband so their behaviour is
something different
Scot created a compelling future based on his identity when no one else
would
For his physiology he used what he calls Adventure therapy. He used to canoe down 100ft
waterfalls
This then became taking 5 steps - an adventure into a better future
Remember yesterday comparing the lottery & quadriplegics back to happiness levels 3 years later
These identities helped guide him & allowed him to create a compelling future which enabled him
to act
Its not our external world that controls us but Our internal world determines how we feel etc.
When I talk to people I first look at their bodies, the hear what they are focused on & then the
words they are using
That tells me why they are feeling what they are feeling right now
Then I look to see if they have what is needed for change - do they have a compelling future or
not, something to look forward to
Anyone can deal with a horrible today if they have a compelling tomorrow
I must participate in my own rescue You can't wait for someone to come by & create a
compelling future for you
Ronald Reagan said don't believe someone who says - I am from the government & I am here to
help
Don't wait for govt to help you, you have to create your own compelling future
I was going down the Colorado river at a place called Lava Falls where people regularly die
The guide came out & said to all the top guys (actors, studio bosses,CEOs) if you fall out of raft
you have to rescue yourself
The way we rescue ourselves is to come up with a compelling future which may be hard unless
there is a part of you that knows
NO matter what’s happens in life here I stand & I will find a way to get back to a better place
If you can tap into some portion of your identity you can create a compelling future
Now you are going to use your body strong, you are going to focus on what matters, you are going
to use the right language
What did Scot say to himself & focus on during the rehab?
He focused on his son & wife. Who did he first say he was - Love
Love of his family, those he loved most pulled him thru more than anything else including himself
We will always do more for those we love than we would do for ourselves
That’s what it means to be human. That's what it means to be humane. You go beyond yourself
The problem our society right now is social media has trained us to expect everyone else to be
just like us
By being humane we simply acknowledge others having a different point of view but we don't need
to fight over it
We can agree to disagree or I can try to understand the other point of view & why they believe that
Notice what pulled Scot through, his love for his family, not to be a burden & be strong again
He wanted to get back to rock climbing, scuba diving & jumping out of planes with family which
brought him joy
Most people who have been told they will never walk again don't visualise skydiving & climbing
mountains
That’s why most people don't heal. No guarantee but psychological & emotional factors play a role
in recover
In every major country in the world where they have studied this - nursing home residents who
believe they are about to die
30-50% elderly people survive thru xmas holiday because seeing their families & grandkids builds
a compelling future
Animals all over the world die evenly over a week except natural disaster or unusual event
We die more than any other day of the week - Monday & a time more than any other - between 8-
9am
Its almost like “I have had enough of this life, I am out of here” - not compelling, right!

We must realise, our minds & emotions are connected to our bodies & visa versa
If we take the 5 to thrive & use it we can make miracles happen
How many of you are realising the power of this. What we identify with, we become
Many of you lead people or your family
Identity is the most powerful thing that influences us
Your experience of people is not them, its your beliefs & representation of them
We are all controlled by our perceptions - of who we are, what we are willing to do, ho
If you are bored or down do anything to radically change your state, jump, walk, jump in cold
water,
Then your brain will start to function differently which will cause your focus to change automatically
Actively direct your Focus on what you can control vs what you cannot
Figure out what is beautiful at this point or what will be good because you are going to make it that
way
Develop new phrases to support you. One of my favourite questions is - What is great about this?
You get what you look for & what you look for is dependant on your physical state, your
focus & patterns of language
If you want to follow through you have to create a compelling future. This is why we are together
this week
New World, New you - does it make sense now?
So for this new world you have to expand your identity
So despite what happens being locked in etc you are still going to make things happen and you
are going to have a great time
When Covid hit I was effectively shut down & I refused to just hide away & accept the new world
I am made to serve so I had to find a way
I tried this, & this & this & this but they didn't work but here we are together now - 813,000 people
from every nation on earth
It was a matter of finding a way that did work
Your core beliefs of who you believe you are need to be enhanced & strengthened.
This can be as simple as saying them again & again
Incantations which involve your whole nervous system with intensity
Most people have incan’tations, I can't do this, I can't do that
They hypnotise themselves into less than they are so they pay with low energy & life experience
Then they will compensate by drinking, smoking, eating, Netflix- they won't fulfill you & sure won't
make you grow
How many want to be happy no matter what happens in the external environment
Progress = happiness
Progress, not getting things. When you get something how long are you excited. Not a year,
maybe a week, a month?
For most people its a few days or even a few hours
Life is not about getting, its about growing so that's why we have to keep making progress
When you grow you have something to give especially your loved ones or even strangers,
Something that is meaningful, it changes your life. Because it causes your life to have meaning.
This also controls your kids perception of you & you towards them
They also affect you in business so lets look a business context as well
Your brand affects how people perceive you

Assignment
Think of large computer company - IBM. 80% for Apple, one company dominates this space.
Soft drink company - 90% for cocacola just a few for pepsi, total domination
Search engine - Google. 98% of you out of 35 search engines. Yahoo used to own it. Noone for
Bing

What if you could develop a way to have people think of you when they think of your industry
Starbucks did not advertise for first 7 years because word of mouth built it
Pass me a Kleenex which scotties hate it
Lets FedEx it - no its overnight says DHL