Freedoms and Restrictions in

literary Translation as
Exemplified by Translations of
the Old and the Sea
(First Extract)
Hassane Darir
• This paper addresses the degrees of freedom or liberties a translator
can safely have with a text. In order to answer the question “What are
the degrees of freedom or liberties a translator can safely have with a
text”, Extracts from the novel ‘The old man and the sea’ are used in
this paper as a research sample to address the issue of fidelity and
assess the choices made by different translators to make it accessible
for a potential Arab readership.
 What are the degrees of freedom or liberties a translator can have
with a text?
• The freedom of the translator can be evident in:
• a. The selection of the text to be translated. This however has nothing
to do with the translation task or translation practice itself.
• b. The specific strategies adopted in the translation of a text that is
particularly creative in its use of metaphors, idioms, word choice and
phraseology. For instance, the ST could offer different possibilities for
interpretation, which results in different translation strategies and
stylistic choices in translation. This could affect diction, attitude,
word order, and syntactical constructions.
• c. The adaptation of the text to the reader, which includes two aspects:
• (1) Linguistic adaptation which usually affects the syntactic and rhetorical
level, such as transforming a structure from the passive to the active or
vice versa; creative use of metaphors and idioms; more specificity given to
more general or abstract concepts or vice versa; more or less recourse to
artistic elaboration through the use of figures of speech; the introduction
of direct speech or dialogue in place of indirect speech or vice versa, etc.
The fact that no two translators can come up with the same translated text
proves that translation is not an automatic art and that there is a certain
degree of freedom and creativity in translation.
• (2) Cultural adaptation, which is most clear in the case of idioms but is also
evident in proverbs and metaphors. For instance, someone is said to be
green in English (i.e. young and lacking experience), but they are said to be
blue in Moroccan Arabic.
• This freedom (or creativity), under its different facets, is exercised all
the more in the translation of poetical texts, in particular, and
literature, in general, which is an issue that has been discussed at
length by many translation theorists and professionals (Bassnett-
McGuire 1980, Newmark 1988, Basil Hatim and Ian Mason 1990,
Mona Baker ed. 2001, among others). It can be stated that the more
the ST text is creative in its style, rich in figures of speech and
rhetorical devices, the more freedom the translator will be allowed
in translation and the more challenges he will face. Sometimes, this
results in TTs that could be called adaptations, but are not real
translations.
• Some translation theorists focus more on instances where translators
significantly differ in translating the same ST or on instances where a
translator is said to have mistranslated a particular text or section of a
text. Some of them jump to the conclusion that translation is
impossible or that all translations are treacherous in one way or
another. While problematic instances of translation are by no means
rare in literature, the latter is just one type of the many existing types
of texts that are translated on a regular basis. Furthermore, not all
literary translations are bad translations.
• In fact, many of the surviving classic texts of translation have only
survived in /or thanks to their translated versions. The Bible and Kalila
wa Dimna are good examples in this respect. These texts and the like
are not generally considered as distortions of the original work. In
fact, they have deservedly acquired the status of original works
because the translators were particularly meticulous in their work as
translators and not as artistic or literary creators; which must have
surely added to the difficulty and complexity of the task.
(Kalila wa Dimna is known to the West as The Fables of Bidpai or
Panchatantra.)
• Dualities in translation or towards a scale of evaluation
• Theoretically at least, choices and decisions in translation
have been presented as dichotomies or dualities.
• Such dichotomies include faithful translation vs. beautiful
translation, SL-oriented translation vs. TL / T Reader-
oriented translation, literal translation vs. free translation,
etc.
• Now, here is a new dichotomy that is suggested by the
theme of this paper: freedom of the translator vs.
enslavement to the original writer, or literalness and
faithfulness vs. freedoms and liberties in translation.
• At the basis of these dualities is a dilemma, which can be expressed
as follows: translating closely to the meanings and structures of the
ST is one thing, delivering a good translation is another. Dualities are
useful for teaching purposes but they do not help much in evaluating
particular translations, even less in producing correct translations.
Evidently, the picture of the translation process is much more
complex than any dichotomy of translation studies can account for.
• In the following section, we will introduce a five scale chart along
which specific translation works can be situated.
• For practical purposes, the translation product is
measured along a continuum according to the degree
of freedom the translator has taken with their text
and the faithfulness or bias to either SL or TL. It goes
without saying that many of the terms used in the
literature of translation are employed in the chart but
not necessarily in their strict usual meaning.
 Type of translation
Interlinear Faithful Free translation
Literal translation Balanced Idiomizing Adaptation
EXTREME SL BIAS

EXTREME TL BIAS
(Beautiful)
(Communicative)
Process involved
Exoticism Compromise Equivalent effect Cultural
Cultural borrowing transplantation
Calques
Characteristics
word-for-word -preserves SL meanings, -does not -adapts idioms and -only the global
translation that -respects TL grammar, sound like a metaphors, meanings are
is usually -may sound awkward, as a translated text -sounds natural to preserved.
unacceptable ‘translated text’ native speakers, (or even only the
for translation -very often involves -is easy going TT spirit of the text)
purposes grammatical transposition reading,
-but meanings may be
lost in back-translation
• At the extreme of SL bias, i.e. lack of freedom, there is interlinear or word
for word translation, where the translator closely follows the grammatical
units of the ST and respects them scrupulously as in translating Great
Britain as ‫عظٌم برٌطانٌا‬.
• Interlinear translation is normally only used for linguistic comparative
purposes or in language teaching and is an extreme form of the much more
commonly practiced literal translation, where, while grammar is respected,
the literal (or denotative, cognitive) meaning of words is taken as if straight
from a dictionary regardless of any connotations or nuances the word may
have in a particular context.
• At the opposite extreme, i.e. TL bias, there is free translation or even
adaptation, if adaptation is considered a type of translation. In the latter
case, which exemplifies the highest degree of freedom a translator can take
with their text, only global meanings are preserved. There may be various
intervening stages in between, three of which can be safely recognized,
namely literal, balanced and idiomizing translations.
• The continuum with its points can serve as a scale to measure the
degree of licenses a translator has taken with a text much like the
Richter scale, which is used for measuring how severe an earthquake
is and is named after Charles Richter (1900-1985). It is to be noted
that Dickins et al. (2006: 17, 1992, 2002: 16) in the successful series
Thinking Translation also suggested a five point scale from: literal,
faithful, balanced, idiomizing, to free (with no further details).
However, their scale, which follows Newmark (1981 : 39), ignores
both interlinear translation and adaptation and uses the term
faithful translation, which is a difficult term to define in the sense
that most -if not all- translations claim to be faithful.
• It is equally to be noted that the term ‘idiomizing translation’ is
borrowed from the same series Thinking Translation as defined, for
instance in Thinking Arabic Translation: "By an idiomizing translation,
we mean one that respects the ST message content, but prioritizes TL
'naturalness’ over faithfulness to T details; it will typically use idioms
or familiar phonic and rhythmic patterns to give an easy read, even if
this means sacrificing nuances of message or tone” (Dickins et al.
2002: 18).
Language dependent vs. Language independent
liberties
• Interestingly, some of the so-called translation liberties are dictated
by the nature of the languages involved in translation. For instance,
Arabic is primarily a VSO language; therefore the transition from VSO
to SVO while translating into English, for example, is language
dependent and the translator has no real choice about this. Many of
the so called techniques of translation as postulated by Jean-Paul
Vinay and Jean Darbelnet (1958, 1966: 46-55) in their Stylistique
comparée de l’anglais et du français (translated as Comparative
Stylistics of French and English: a Methodology for Translation) such
as literal translation, transposition, or modulation fall within this
category. For a translator to take liberties with a text is not the same
as adhering to morphological, syntactic and semantic shifts/
adjustments which are necessitated by the TL.
• Even in the case of communicative translation when, in a particular
context, a SL feature (idiom or proverb) has to be translated by a
functionally corresponding idiom or proverb) rather than by a literal
or semantic translation this cannot be considered as free translation
in the real sense since the translator has no real freedom of choice in
that context where only one equivalent is correct. On the other hand,
successful cases of compensation -when necessary- can be
considered as cases of good exercise of freedom under responsibility.
The reader will find examples in the comparative study of the six
translations below.
• Methodology
• Since the major objective of this research study is to explore and assess the
degree of freedom that a translator may take in the translation of a literary
text, the theoretical part of the article has discussed and assessed the
degree of freedom a translator is allowed in the process of producing a
particular translation of a literary text or, in other words, the liberties a
translator can safely take with the ST.
• The practical part of the research study includes a comparative study of six
Arabic translations of Heminway's novella The Old Man and the Sea
(namely Munir Baalbaki's 1961, Ziad Zakaria's 1986, Gabriel Wahba's
1994, Samir Izzat Nassar's 2002, Abdelhamid Zahid's 2007 and Ali Al-
Kasimi's 2008 translations).
• Assessment and analysis of the translations of three extracts is conducted
to evaluate first which translations faithfully reflect the spirit and essential
features of the original work and second suggest ways of overcoming the
possible translation challenges
• Appropriate qualitative content analysis of the six different
translations of the three extracts is used. The main reason for
conducting content analysis is to be able to investigate and establish,
if possible, links between the freedom degree of translation and
translation quality. When translators engage in the process of
translating a literary text, they make different decisions based on
their reading and interpretation of the ST. The usual outcome is
different translations for the same literary text.
• For a better articulation and organization of the research study, the
two following questions are used:
• Q1: What are the degrees of freedom or liberties a translator can
have with a literary text?
• Q2: To what extent can a translator be faithful to the ST?
• Presentation and discussion of results
• As stated before, in order to add a practical dimension to this paper,
six Arabic translations of three extracts from Hemingway’s The Old
Man and the Sea are used as research samples for analysis and
assessment. Analysis will focus on the instances where a translator
takes liberties with the ST, the motivations for this, and the
consequences for the issue of fidelity.
• ST: Heminway's The Old Man and the Sea
• The importance of The Old Man and the Sea, which forms the case
study, is attributable, on the one hand, to its unforgettable portrait of
the old fisherman, Santiago, and its vivid presentation of the novella's
other principal ‘characters’, namely the sea and fish and, on the other
hand, to its important themes, one of which is summarized in the
book's best-known line: "A man can be destroyed but not defeated".
The 'real' story behind the novella is a tale of an old Cuban fisherman
and a marlin (1935). Suffice it to say that the novella first appeared in
Life Magazine - New York (1952) and it was a complete success from
the morning it hit the newsstands. The plot of the novella could be
summarized as follows (Tibbetts and Welshs, 2005: 327).
• “Santiago [is] an aging Cuban fisherman who has not caught a fish in
84 days. His only friend, a young boy, continues to have faith in the
old man who taught him how to fish. The old man sets out to sea, and
after a life-threatening struggle with a huge fish, succeeds in landing
the fish, but only after the fish has dragged him far out to sea.
Santiago lashes the fish to his boat and struggles to return to shore as
sharks devour his prize fish, leaving him nothing more than a skeleton
at the end of this grueling ordeal.”
• Arabic translations of the Old Man and the Sea
• Given its importance, there are at least a dozen translations of this
novella into Arabic, some of which are listed in Ali Ben Salman As-
Suwina' (2008: 156-157), namely Salih Jawdat's, Munir Baalbaki's,
Lina Abu Salih's, Yahya Abdi Rabbuh's, Gabriel Wahba's, Adnan
Maluhi's, Ziad Zakaria's, and Fadil Habib Muhsin's translation. Other
translations are not listed in the aforementioned reference, such as:
Ali Al Kasimi's, Samir Izzat Nassar's, Abdelhamid Zahid's, and Illi
Mahna's translation. The translations that will be considered in this
article are the following: Munir Baalbaki's 1961, Ziad Zakaria's 1986,
Gabriel Wahba's 1994, Samir Izzat Nassar's 2002, Abdelhamid
Zahid's 2007and Ali Al Kasimi's 2008. Interesting in this regard is the
fact that Ali Al Kasimi's, one of the translators of the novella, attaches
to his translation a study that is devoted to the issue of retranslating
texts (pp. 111-156).
• Extracts and analysis
• The extracts that I have selected for analysis are as follows. Extract 1
is from the first opening paragraphs of the novella. They introduce
the main or, in fact, the one character in the story and set the scene.
The second extract is one of the memorable wise sayings in the
novella. The third illustrates the use of the few dialogues in the
novella.
• Extract One: opening page of the novella
• He was an old man who fished alone in a skiff in the Gulf Stream and he had gone
eighty-four days now without taking a fish. In the first forty days a boy had been
with him. But after forty days without a fish the boy's parents had told him that
the old man was now definitely and finally salao, which is the worst form of
‘unlucky’, and the boy had gone at their orders in another boat which caught
three good fish the first week. It made the boy sad to see the old man come in
each day with his skiff empty and he always went down to help him carry either
the coiled lines or the gaff and harpoon and the sail that was furled around the
mast. The sail was patched with flour sacks and, furled; it looked like the flag of
permanent defeat.
• The old man was thin and gaunt with deep wrinkles in the back of his neck. The
brown blotches of the benevolent skin cancer the sun brings from its reflection
on the tropic sea were on his cheeks. The blotches ran well down the sides of his
face and his hands had the deep-creased scars from handling heavy fish on the
cords. But none of these scars were fresh. They were as old as erosions in a
fishless desert.
• Everything about him was old except his eyes and they were the same colour as
the sea and were cheerful and undefeated. (249 words)
Version One: Munir Baalbaki 1961
1961
‫‪Version One: Munir Baalbaki 1961‬‬
‫• كان رجال عجوزا ٌصٌد السمن وحده فً لارب عرٌض المعر فً "تٌار الخلٌج"‪ ،‬وكان لد سلخ‬
‫أربعة وثمانٌن ٌوما من غٌر أن ٌفوز بسمكة واحدة‪ .‬وفً األربعٌن ٌوما األولى كان ٌصحبه غالم‬
‫صغٌر‪ .‬حتى إذا لضى أربعٌن ٌوما من غٌر أن ٌوفك إلى صٌد ما‪ ،‬لال أبوا الغالم البنهما أن‬
‫الشٌخ منحوس نحسا ال رٌب فٌه وال برء منه‪ ،‬وسؤاله أن ٌعمل فً لارب آخر ما لبث أن فاز‬
‫بثالث سمكات رائعات فً األسبوع األول‪ .‬ولمد أحزن الغالم أن ٌرى الشٌخ ٌرجع كل ٌوم خالً‬
‫المارب‪ ،‬فكان ما ٌفتؤ ٌمضً للمائه وٌساعده فً حمل صنانٌره الملتفة أو محجنه وحربونه والشراع‬
‫المطوي حول السارٌة‪ .‬وكان الشراع مرلعا بؤكٌاس دلٌك عتٌمة‪ ،‬فهو ٌبدو ولد طوي على هذه‬
‫الشاكلة أشبه ما ٌكون براٌة الهزٌمة السرمدٌة‪.‬‬
‫• وكان الشٌخ معرولا شاحبا انتشرت فً مإخر عنمه تجاعٌد عمٌمة‪ ،‬وعلت خدٌه المروح السمراء‬
‫الناشئة عن سرطان الجلد غٌر المإدي الذي هو ثمرة انعكاس الشمس على صفحة المٌاه فً‬
‫المناطك االستوائٌة‪ .‬وكانت تلن المروح تغطً جانبً وجهه‪ ،‬على حٌن كانت فً ٌدٌه ندوب عمٌمة‬
‫الغور خلفتها الحبال التً علمت فً أطرافها ضروب من األسمان الثمٌلة‪ .‬ولكن أٌا من هذه الندوب‬
‫لم ٌكن غضا‪ .‬كانت لدٌمة لدم التؤكل فً صحراء خلو من السمن‪.‬‬
‫• كان كل شًء فٌه عجوزا خال عٌنٌه‪ ،‬وكان لونهما مثل لون البحر‪ .‬وكانتا مبتهجتٌن باسلتٌن‪.‬‬
‫‪• 209 words‬‬
 Commentary
• Baalbaki achieves a successful literary translation, successful not in the
sense of taking liberties with the ST, but in the sense of coming with simple
and refined style, just as the original text. In fact, Baalbaki strictly adheres
to the ST, resorting to compensation only when he thinks an element in the
ST cannot be translated or will not achieve the same effect as in translating
"the old man was now definitely and finally salao, which is the worst form
of unlucky" by ‫الشٌخ منحوس نحسا ال رٌب فٌه وال برء منه‬. In terms of size, we can
say that Baalbaki's translation is slightly compacted. Apart from the use of
the term ‫ عجوز‬in the selected paragraphs, for which he could have used
‫شٌخ‬, which has none of he negative connotations of ‫عجوز‬, Baalbaki's
translation is an accurate rendition of the ST in terms of style and tone and
reflects the latter's mastery of the Arabic language's lexical and
terminological stock and stylistic choices.
 Table 2: Translation version1

Analysis and assessment Munir Baalbaki 1961

Baalbaki achieves a successful literary translation, successful not in ‫وبْ لذ‬ٚ ،"‫ج‬١ٍ‫بس اٌخ‬١‫ "ر‬ٟ‫ط اٌمعش ف‬٠‫ لبسة عش‬ٟ‫حذٖ ف‬ٚ ‫ذ اٌغّه‬١‫ص‬٠ ‫صا‬ٛ‫وبْ سجال عج‬
the sense of taking too much liberties with the ST, but in the sense of ٗ‫صحج‬٠ ْ‫ وب‬ٌٝٚ‫ِب األ‬ٛ٠ ٓ١‫ األسثع‬ٟ‫ف‬ٚ .‫احذح‬ٚ ‫ص ثغّىخ‬ٛ‫ف‬٠ ْ‫ش أ‬١‫ِب ِٓ غ‬ٛ٠ ٓ١ٔ‫صّب‬ٚ ‫عٍخ أسثعخ‬
coming with simple and refined style, just as the original text. In fact, ْ‫ّب أ‬ٕٙ‫ا اٌغالَ الث‬ٛ‫ لبي أث‬،‫ذ ِب‬١‫ ص‬ٌٝ‫فك إ‬ٛ٠ ْ‫ش أ‬١‫ِب ِٓ غ‬ٛ٠ ٓ١‫ أسثع‬ٝ‫ إرا لع‬ٝ‫ حز‬.‫ش‬١‫غالَ صغ‬
Baalbaki strictly adheres to the ST, resorting to compensation only when ‫ لبسة آخش ِب ٌجش أْ فبص ثضالس‬ٟ‫عًّ ف‬٠ ْ‫عأالٖ أ‬ٚ ،ِٕٗ ‫ال ثشء‬ٚ ٗ١‫ت ف‬٠‫ط ٔحغب ال س‬ٛ‫خ ِٕح‬١‫اٌؾ‬
he thinks an element in the ST cannot be translated or will not achieve ،‫ اٌمبسة‬ٌٟ‫َ خب‬ٛ٠ ً‫شجع و‬٠ ‫خ‬١‫ اٌؾ‬ٜ‫ش‬٠ ْ‫ٌمذ أحضْ اٌغالَ أ‬ٚ .‫ي‬ٚ‫ع األ‬ٛ‫ األعج‬ٟ‫عّىبد سائعبد ف‬
the same effect as in translating "the old man was now definitely and ٞٛ‫اٌؾشاع اٌّط‬ٚ ٗٔٛ‫حشث‬ٚ ٕٗ‫ ِحج‬ٚ‫شٖ اٌٍّزفخ أ‬١ٔ‫ حًّ صٕب‬ٟ‫غبعذٖ ف‬٠ٚ ٗ‫ ٌٍمبئ‬ٟ‫ّع‬٠ ‫فزأ‬٠ ‫فىبْ ِب‬
finally salao, which is the worst form of unlucky" by ‫ ٘زٖ اٌؾبوٍخ أؽجٗ الشٍخ منحىش نحسا ال‬ٍٝ‫ ع‬ٞٛ‫لذ غ‬ٚ ٚ‫جذ‬٠ ٛٙ‫ ف‬،‫مخ‬١‫ك عز‬١‫بط دل‬١‫وبْ اٌؾشاع ِشلعب ثأو‬ٚ .‫خ‬٠‫ي اٌغبس‬ٛ‫ح‬
‫رٌب فٍو وال برء منو‬. In terms of size, we can say that Baalbaki's translation is .‫خ‬٠‫ّخ اٌغشِذ‬٠‫ض‬ٌٙ‫خ ا‬٠‫ْ ثشا‬ٛ‫ى‬٠ ‫ِب‬
slightly compacted. Apart from the use of the term ‫ عجىز‬in the selected ‫ح‬ٚ‫ٗ اٌمش‬٠‫عٍذ خذ‬ٚ ،‫مخ‬١ّ‫ذ ع‬١‫ ِؤخش عٕمٗ رجبع‬ٟ‫لب ؽبحجب أزؾشد ف‬ٚ‫خ ِعش‬١‫وبْ اٌؾ‬ٚ
paragraphs, for which he could have used ‫شٍخ‬, which has none of the ٖ‫ب‬١ٌّ‫ صفحخ ا‬ٍٝ‫ صّشح أعىبط اٌؾّظ ع‬ٛ٘ ٞ‫ اٌز‬ٞ‫ش اٌّؤد‬١‫اٌغّشاء إٌبؽئخ عٓ عشغبْ اٌجٍذ غ‬
negative connotations of ‫عجىز‬, and ‫ٌصٍد السمك وحده‬, which may suggest ‫ة‬ٚ‫ٗ ٔذ‬٠‫ذ‬٠ ٟ‫ٓ وبٔذ ف‬١‫ ح‬ٍٝ‫ ع‬،ٗٙ‫ج‬ٚ ٟ‫ جبٔج‬ٟ‫ح رغط‬ٚ‫وبٔذ رٍه اٌمش‬ٚ .‫خ‬١‫ائ‬ٛ‫ إٌّبغك االعز‬ٟ‫ف‬
wrongly that ‫ وحده‬restricts ‫السمك‬whereas the idea is that the old man ٖ‫ب ِٓ ٘ز‬٠‫ٌىٓ أ‬ٚ .‫ٍخ‬١‫ة ِٓ األعّبن اٌضم‬ٚ‫ب ظش‬ٙ‫ أغشاف‬ٟ‫ عٍمذ ف‬ٟ‫ب اٌحجبي اٌز‬ٙ‫س خٍفز‬ٛ‫مخ اٌغ‬١ّ‫ع‬
was alone, all by himself, Baalbaki's translation is an accurate rendition .‫ ِٓ اٌغّه‬ٍٛ‫ صحشاء خ‬ٟ‫ّخ لذَ اٌزأوً ف‬٠‫ وبٔذ لذ‬.‫ىٓ غعب‬٠ ٌُ ‫ة‬ٚ‫إٌذ‬
of the ST in terms of style and tone and reflects the latter's mastery of .ٓ١‫ٓ ثبعٍز‬١‫جز‬ٙ‫وبٔزب ِجز‬ٚ .‫ْ اٌجحش‬ٌٛ ً‫ّب ِض‬ٌٙٔٛ ْ‫وب‬ٚ ،ٗ١ٕ١‫صا خال ع‬ٛ‫ٗ عج‬١‫ء ف‬ٟ‫وبْ وً ؽ‬
the Arabic language's lexical and terminological stock and stylistic 209 words
choices.
Version Two: Ziyad Zakaria 1986
1986
‫‪Version Two: Ziyad Zakaria 1986‬‬
‫كان الرجل لد بلغ من الكبر عتٌا‪ ،‬ولكنه ال ٌزال رابضا فً زورله‪ ،‬وحٌدا‪ٌ ،‬طلب الصٌد فً خلٌج (جولد سترٌم)‪,‬‬ ‫•‬
‫ولد عبرت به حتى الساعة أربعة وثمانون ٌوما لم ٌجد علٌه البحر خاللها بشئ من الرزق‪.‬‬
‫فً األٌام األربعٌن األولى منها‪ ،‬كان له غالم ٌعٌنه على أمره‪ .‬ولكن أربعٌن ٌوما انطوت على غٌر طائل‪ ،‬فلم ٌسع‬ ‫•‬
‫والدا الغالم إال أن ٌمطعا لولدهما بؤن هدا العجوز مشإوم ال ٌطلع نجمه إال على نحس‪.‬‬
‫وهكذا نزل الغالم عند رغبة أبوٌه‪ ،‬وترن صحبة العجوز‪ ،‬وذهب ٌعمل فً زورق آخر جاد البحر على ذوٌه بثالث‬ ‫•‬
‫سمكات طٌبات منذ أول أسبوع‪.‬‬
‫وكان ٌحز فً للب الغالم أن ٌرى العجوز لافال إلى الشاطئ فً نهاٌة كل ٌوم‪ ،‬وزورله خاوي الوفاض‪ ،‬فال ٌملن إال‬ ‫•‬
‫أن ٌهرع إلٌه لٌعاونه فً لملمة حباله‪ ،‬وحمل حربة صٌد المرش وطً الشراع حول الصاري‪,‬‬
‫وكان هذا الشراع المرلع بالخٌش إذا ما انطوى حول صارٌه‪ ،‬بدا كؤنما هو علم الهزٌمة المتصلة‪.‬‬ ‫•‬
‫كان العجوز جسدا ناحل العود‪ ،‬توغلت فً لفاه غضون عمٌمة‪ ،‬ولد عدت حرلة الشمس فً انعكاساتها على مٌاه‬ ‫•‬
‫البحر‪ ،‬على بشرته عدوانا لاسٌا‪ ،‬فمألت خدٌه بالبثورـ واستدارت فنثرت الكثٌر منها على جانبً وجهه‪.‬‬
‫أما كفاه‪ ،‬فمد حفرت فٌهما الحبال التً طالما جرر بها األسمان الثمٌلة جراحا عمٌمة الغور لٌس بٌنها جرح جدٌد‪ ،‬فهً‬ ‫•‬
‫جمٌعا لدٌمة لدم الحفرٌات فً صحراء عدٌمة السمن‪.‬‬
‫كان كل ما فٌه عجوزا مثله إال عٌنٌه‪ .‬عٌناه كانتا فً صفاء مٌاه البحر ٌطل منهما المرح‪ ،‬وعدم االعتراف بالهزٌمة‪.‬‬ ‫•‬
‫‪• 229 words‬‬
 Commentary
• Ziyad Zakaria relies on ready-made Arabic idioms, some of which have almost become clichés like:
‫• بلغ من الكبر عتٌا‬
‫• رابضا فً زورله‬
‫• لم ٌجد علٌه البحر خاللها بشئ من الرزق‬
‫• وزورله خاوي الوفاض‬
‫• انطوت على غٌر طائل‬
‫• ال ٌطلع نجمه إال على نحس‬
• His rendering amounts to an almost complete rewriting of the original text (even the
segmentation into paragraphs is not respected). This translation is an idiomizing translation.
• Furthermore, the expression ‫لم ٌجد علٌه البحر خاللها بشئ من الرزق‬simply misses the fact that the old
man is struggling against nature and not expecting charity. Apart from ‫ الهزٌمة المتصلة‬, which does
not sound to me a usual collocation, this is a successful adaptation in the TL, but is far from being
faithful.
• In terms of size, this translation achieves the closest match between the ST and TT.
‫‪Analysis and assessment‬‬ ‫‪Table 3: Translation version 2‬‬ ‫‪Ziyad Zakaria 1986‬‬
‫وبْ اٌشجً لذ ثٍغ ِٓ اٌىجش عز‪١‬ب‪ٌٚ ،‬ىٕٗ ال ‪٠‬ضاي ساثعب ف‪ ٟ‬ص‪ٚ‬سلٗ‪ٚ ،‬ح‪١‬ذا‪٠ ،‬طٍت اٌص‪١‬ذ ف‪ ٟ‬خٍ‪١‬ج ‪Ziyad Zakaria relies on ready-made Arabic idioms, some of which‬‬
‫‪have almost become clichés like:‬‬ ‫(ج‪ٌٛ‬ذ عزش‪ٚ ,)ُ٠‬لذ عجشد ثٗ حز‪ ٝ‬اٌغبعخ أسثعخ ‪ٚ‬صّبٔ‪ِٛ٠ ْٛ‬ب ٌُ ‪٠‬جذ عٍ‪ ٗ١‬اٌجحش خالٌ‪ٙ‬ب ثؾئ ِٓ‬
‫بلغ من الكبر عتٍا‬ ‫اٌشصق‪.‬‬
‫ف‪ ٟ‬األ‪٠‬بَ األسثع‪ ٓ١‬األ‪ِٕٙ ٌٝٚ‬ب‪ ،‬وبْ ٌٗ غالَ ‪٠‬ع‪ ٕٗ١‬عٍ‪ ٝ‬أِشٖ‪ٌٚ .‬ىٓ أسثع‪ِٛ٠ ٓ١‬ب أط‪ٛ‬د عٍ‪ ٝ‬غ‪١‬ش رابضا فً زورقو‬
‫لم ٌجد علٍو البحر خاللها بشئ من الرزق‬ ‫غبئً‪ ،‬فٍُ ‪٠‬غع ‪ٚ‬اٌذا اٌغالَ إال أْ ‪٠‬مطعب ٌ‪ٌٛ‬ذّ٘ب ثأْ ٘ذا اٌعج‪ٛ‬ص ِؾؤ‪ َٚ‬ال ‪٠‬طٍع ٔجّٗ إال عٍ‪ٔ ٝ‬حظ‪.‬‬
‫‪٘ٚ‬ىزا ٔضي اٌغالَ عٕذ سغجخ أث‪ٚ ،ٗ٠ٛ‬رشن صحجخ اٌعج‪ٛ‬ص‪ٚ ،‬ر٘ت ‪٠‬عًّ ف‪ ٟ‬ص‪ٚ‬سق آخش جبد اٌجحش وزورقو خاوي الىفاض‬
‫انطىت على غٍر طائل‬ ‫عٍ‪ ٝ‬ر‪ ٗ٠ٚ‬ثضالس عّىبد غ‪١‬جبد ِٕز أ‪ٚ‬ي أعج‪ٛ‬ع‪.‬‬
‫‪ٚ‬وبْ ‪٠‬حض ف‪ ٟ‬لٍت اٌغالَ أْ ‪٠‬ش‪ ٜ‬اٌعج‪ٛ‬ص لبفال إٌ‪ ٝ‬اٌؾبغئ ف‪ٙٔ ٟ‬ب‪٠‬خ وً ‪ٚ ،َٛ٠‬ص‪ٚ‬سلٗ خب‪ ٞٚ‬ال ٌطلع نجمو إال على نحص‬
‫اٌ‪ٛ‬فبض‪ ،‬فال ‪ٍّ٠‬ه إال أْ ‪ٙ٠‬شع إٌ‪١ٌ ٗ١‬عب‪ ٗٔٚ‬ف‪ٌٍّّ ٟ‬خ حجبٌٗ‪ٚ ،‬حًّ حشثخ ص‪١‬ذ اٌمشػ ‪ٚ‬غ‪ ٟ‬اٌؾشاع ح‪ٛ‬ي ‪His rendering amounts to an almost complete rewriting of the‬‬
‫‪original text (even the segmentation into paragraphs is not respected).‬‬ ‫اٌصبس‪,ٞ‬‬
‫‪This translation is an idiomizing translation.‬‬ ‫‪ٚ‬وبْ ٘زا اٌؾشاع اٌّشلع ثبٌخ‪١‬ؼ إرا ِب أط‪ ٜٛ‬ح‪ٛ‬ي صبس‪ ،ٗ٠‬ثذا وأّٔب ٘‪ ٛ‬عٍُ اٌ‪ٙ‬ض‪ّ٠‬خ اٌّزصٍخ‪.‬‬
‫وبْ اٌعج‪ٛ‬ص جغذا ٔبحً اٌع‪ٛ‬د‪ ،‬ر‪ٛ‬غٍذ ف‪ ٟ‬لفبٖ غع‪ ْٛ‬عّ‪١‬مخ‪ٚ ،‬لذ عذد حشلخ اٌؾّظ ف‪ ٟ‬من الرزق لم ٌجد علٍو البحر خاللها بشئ ‪Furthermore, the expression‬‬
‫أعىبعبر‪ٙ‬ب عٍ‪١ِ ٝ‬بٖ اٌجحش‪ ،‬عٍ‪ ٝ‬ثؾشرٗ عذ‪ٚ‬أب لبع‪١‬ب‪ ،‬فّألد خذ‪ ٗ٠‬ثبٌجض‪ٛ‬سـ ‪ٚ‬اعزذاسد فٕضشد اٌىض‪١‬ش ِٕ‪ٙ‬ب ‪simply misses the fact that the old man is struggling against nature and‬‬
‫‪ , which does not sound‬الهسٌمة المتصلة ‪not expecting charity. Apart from‬‬ ‫عٍ‪ ٝ‬جبٔج‪ٚ ٟ‬ج‪.ٗٙ‬‬
‫أِب وفبٖ‪ ،‬فمذ حفشد ف‪ّٙ١‬ب اٌحجبي اٌز‪ ٟ‬غبٌّب جشس ث‪ٙ‬ب األعّبن اٌضم‪ٍ١‬خ جشاحب عّ‪١‬مخ اٌغ‪ٛ‬س ٌ‪١‬ظ ‪to me a usual collocation, this is a successful adaptation in the TL, but is‬‬
‫‪far from being faithful.‬‬ ‫ث‪ٕٙ١‬ب جشح جذ‪٠‬ذ‪ ،‬ف‪ ٟٙ‬جّ‪١‬عب لذ‪ّ٠‬خ لذَ اٌحفش‪٠‬بد ف‪ ٟ‬صحشاء عذ‪ّ٠‬خ اٌغّه‪.‬‬
‫وبْ وً ِب ف‪ ٗ١‬عج‪ٛ‬صا ِضٍٗ إال ع‪ .ٗ١ٕ١‬ع‪ٕ١‬بٖ وبٔزب ف‪ ٟ‬صفبء ِ‪١‬بٖ اٌجحش ‪٠‬طً ِٕ‪ّٙ‬ب اٌّشح‪ٚ ،‬عذَ ‪In terms of size, this translation achieves the closest match‬‬
‫‪between the ST and TT.‬‬ ‫‪229 words‬‬ ‫االعزشاف ثبٌ‪ٙ‬ض‪ّ٠‬خ‪.‬‬
Version Three: Gabriel Wahba's 1994
1994
‫‪Version Three: Gabriel Wahba's 1994‬‬
‫كان رجال أضنته الشٌخوخة ٌعمل بالصٌد وحده فً مركب شراعً صغٌر فً مجرى الخلٌج‪ .‬لم ٌظفر حتى اآلن بؤٌة‬ ‫•‬
‫سمكة مند أربعة وثمانٌن ٌوما مضت‪.‬‬
‫وفً األٌام األربعٌن األولى كان برفمته صبً‪ ،‬بٌد أنه بعد مرور أربعٌن ٌوما بال صٌد انبرى والدا الصبً ٌموالن له‪:‬‬ ‫•‬
‫إن العجوز ال شن لد أصابه النحس‪ ،‬وهذا أسوأ ما ٌبتلى به إنسان من حظ سًء‪ .‬انصاع الصبً ألوامرهما‪ ،‬فذهب‬
‫لٌعمل فً مركب آخر‪ ،‬وفاز من أول أسبوع بثالث سمكات من األنواع الضخمة‪.‬‬
‫مست كبد الصبً لوعة حزن وهو ٌرى العجوز ٌجًء كل ٌوم بمركبه خاوٌا‪ ،‬وكان دائم الذهاب إلٌه لٌعاونه فً حمل‬ ‫•‬
‫الحبال واألسالن أو خطاف رفع األسمان والرمح المستخدم فً طعنها‪ ،‬أو الشراع الملتف حول صارى المركب‪..‬‬
‫كان الشراع المرلع بمطع لماش من أكٌاس الدلٌك ٌبدو وهو ملفوف كؤنه علم للهزٌمة واإلحباط‪ ،‬والخٌبة المستمرة‬
‫الدائمة‪.‬‬
‫كان الرجل العجوز نحٌال تنتشر التجاعٌد العمٌمة فً أنحاء وجهه‪ .‬ولد ظهرت على وجنتٌه بثور سمراء من سرطان‬ ‫•‬
‫الجلد الحمٌد الناشىء من انعكاس أشعة الشمس على مٌاه البحر فً هذه المنطمة االستوائٌة‪ .‬امتدت البثور على جانبً‬
‫وجهه بشكل واضح‪ ،‬وبدت على ٌدٌه ندوب عمٌمة من جراء تعامله مع األسمان الثمٌلة‪ ،‬وتمٌٌدها بالحبال‪ .‬لم ٌكن‬
‫هنان ندب واحد حدٌث‪ ،‬إذ كانت الندوب جمٌعها لدٌمة مثل التآكل الذي تحدثه عوامل التعرٌة فً صحراء جدباء ال‬
‫تعرف األسمان‪.‬‬
‫كل شئ فٌه ٌتصف بالمدم‪ ،‬ما عدا عٌنٌه اللتٌن كانتا بنفس لون البحر‪ ،‬وٌطل منهما المرح وعدم الٌؤس‪.‬‬ ‫•‬
‫‪• 223 words‬‬
 Commentary

• In terms of size Gabriel Wahba's translation comes the closest to the

ST. There are, however, inaccuracies in the translation. For instance,
Gabriel Wahba suggests that it is the boy who caught three fish.
Furthermore, isn't ‫المستمرة‬the same as ‫ ?الدائمة‬The style doesn't reflect
Heminay's style in its simplicity and compactness, cf ً‫انبرى والدا الصب‬
‫ٌقوالن له‬.
‫‪Analysis and assessment‬‬ ‫‪Table 4: Translation version 3‬‬ ‫‪Gabriel Wahba's 1994‬‬
‫كان رجال أضنته الشٌخوخة ٌعمل بالصٌد وحده فً مركب شراعً صغٌر فً مجرى ‪This is largely a free translation that takes too much liberties with the‬‬
‫‪ suggests a defeated man, which is not the case in the ST.‬أضنته الشٌخوخة ‪ST.‬‬ ‫الخلٌج‪ .‬لم ٌظفر حتى اآلن بؤٌة سمكة مند أربعة وثمانٌن ٌوما مضت‪.‬‬
‫وفً األٌام األربعٌن األولى كان برفمته صبً‪ ،‬بٌد أنه بعد مرور أربعٌن ٌوما بال صٌد انبرى ‪ٌ may suggest wrongly that fishing is the only activity done by‬عمل بالصٌد وحده‬
‫والدا الصبً ٌموالن له‪ :‬إن العجوز ال شن لد أصابه النحس‪ ،‬وهذا أسوأ ما ٌبتلى به إنسان من حظ ‪the old man, which might be true by the point is that he was alone, all by‬‬
‫سًء‪ .‬انصاع الصبً ألوامرهما‪ ،‬فذهب لٌعمل فً مركب آخر‪ ،‬وفاز من أول أسبوع بثالث سمكات ‪ is another instance that suggests this‬الرجل العجوز ‪himself. The complex term‬‬
‫‪defeatedness whereas a more adequate term in Arabic and a single one is‬‬ ‫من األنواع الضخمة‪.‬‬
‫‪.‬الشٌخ‬ ‫مست كبد الصبً لوعة حزن وهو ٌرى العجوز ٌجًء كل ٌوم بمركبه خاوٌا‪ ،‬وكان دائم‬
‫الذهاب إلٌه لٌعاونه فً حمل الحبال واألسالن أو خطاف رفع األسمان والرمح المستخدم فً طعنها‪ ،‬إن العجوز ال ‪There are good compensation strategies in this extract as in:‬‬
‫أوالشراع الملتف حول صارى المركب‪ ..‬كان الشراع المرلع بمطع لماش من أكٌاس الدلٌك ٌبدو ‪. There are also aspects‬شك قد أصابه النحس‪ ،‬وهذا أسوأ ما ٌبتلى به إنسان من حظ سًء‬
‫مثل التآكل الذي تحدثه عوامل التعرٌة فً صحراء جدباء ال ‪of rhetorical literary style as in:‬‬ ‫وهو ملفوف كؤنه علم للهزٌمة واإلحباط‪ ،‬والخٌبة المستمرة الدائمة‪.‬‬
‫‪, which is a faithful and beatiful translation of the metaphor.‬تعرف األسماك‬ ‫كان الرجل العجوز نحٌال تنتشر التجاعٌد العمٌمة فً أنحاء وجهه‪ .‬ولد ظهرت على وجنتٌه‬
‫بثور سمراء من سرطان الجلد الحمٌد الناشىء من انعكاس أشعة الشمس على مٌاه البحر فً هذه ‪There are, however, inaccuracies in the translation. For instance,‬‬
‫المنطمة االستوائٌة‪..‬امتدت البثور على جانبً وجهه بشكل واضح‪ ،‬وبدت على ٌدٌه ندوب عمٌمة من ‪Gabriel Wahba suggests that it is the boy who caught three fish.‬‬
‫جراء تعامله مع األسمان الثمٌلة‪ ،‬وتمٌٌدها بالحبال‪ ..‬لم ٌكن هنان ندب واحد حدٌث‪ ،‬إذ كانت الندوب ‪? Or does Gabriel Wahba simply‬الدائمة ‪the same as‬المستمرة ‪Furthermore, isn't‬‬
‫‪want to emphasize this permanent defeat. The style doesn't reflect‬‬ ‫جمٌعها لدٌمة مثل التآكل الذي تحدثه عوامل التعرٌة فً صحراء جدباء ال تعرف األسمان‪.‬‬
‫كل شئ فٌه ٌتصف بالمدم‪ ،‬ما عدا عٌنٌه اللتٌن كانتا بنفس لون البحر‪ ،‬وٌطل منهما المرح انبرى والدا الصبً ٌقوالن ‪Heminway's style in its simplicity and compactness (cf‬‬
‫‪) nor is there a match between the paragraphs between the ST and the TT.‬له‬ ‫وعدم الٌؤس‪223 words .‬‬
Version Four: Samir Izzat Nassar
2002
2002
‫‪Version Four: Samir Izzat Nassar 2002‬‬
‫• كان رجال عجوزا ٌصطاد السمن وحٌدا فً زورق صغٌر فً تٌار الخلٌج ولد أمضى أربعة‬
‫وثمانٌن ٌوما حتى األن دون أن ٌنال سمكة‪ .‬فً األربعٌن ٌوما األولى وهو بال سمن‪ ،‬أخبره والدا‬
‫الولد بؤن الرجل العجوز أصبح األن ساالو ‪ salao‬بالتمام والكمال‪ ،‬وهً أسوأ صٌغة لسًء الحظ‪،‬‬
‫فذهب الولد بناء على أوامرهما إلى زورق آخر اصطاد ثالث سمكات جٌدات فً األسبوع األول‪.‬‬
‫أحزن الولد أن ٌرى الرجل العجوز ٌرجع كل ٌوم وزورله خاو وذهب إلٌه دائما لٌعاونه فً حمل‬
‫حباله المجدولة أو المحجن والحربون والشراع المطوي حول الصاري‪ .‬كان الشراع مرلعا بؤكٌاس‬
‫دلٌك‪ ،‬ولد بدا‪ ،‬وهو ملفوف‪ ،‬مثل علم الهزٌمة الدائمة‪.‬‬
‫• كان الرجل العجوز نحٌال وهزٌال بغضون عمٌمة فً لفا رلبته‪ ،‬انتثرت على خدٌه البمع البنٌة‬
‫لسرطان الجلد الحمٌد الذي تسببه الشمس من انعكاسها على البحر المداري‪ .‬جرت البمع إلى أسفل‬
‫جانبً وجهه تماما وانحفرت فً ٌدٌه الندوب عمٌمة الغور من مناولته األسمان الثمٌلة المعلمة‬
‫بالحبال‪ .‬لكن أٌا من هذه الندوب لم تكن جدٌدة‪ .‬كانت لدٌمة لدم تعرٌات فً صحراء بال سمن‪.‬‬
‫• كان كل شًء فٌه عجوزا ما عدا عٌنٌه فمد كانتا بنفس لون البحر ومرحتٌن وغٌر مهزومتٌن‪.‬‬
‫‪• 178 words‬‬
 Commentary
• Samir izzat Nassar’s translation closely follows the original text. It is a good literal
translation but unfortunately one that fails to achieve naturalness as is evident in
his saying:
.‫• أحزن الولد أن ٌرى الرجل العجوز ٌرجع كل ٌوم‬
• Cf.
‫ كان الصبً ٌشعر بالحزن عندما ٌرى الشٌخ‬or ‫• كان ٌحز فً للب الغالم أن ٌرى العجوز‬
• or in his saying:
‫ مثل علم الهزٌمة الدائمة‬،‫ و هو ملفوف‬،‫ و لد بدا‬،‫• كان الشراع مرلعا بؤكٌاس دلٌك‬
• Cf.
‫• وكان الشراع المرلع بؤكٌاس الطحٌن و المطوي ٌبدو مثل راٌة هزٌمة دائمة‬
• Furthermore, what is meant by ‫ ?جرت البمع إلى أسفل جانبً وجهه تماما‬Another flaw in
Nassar’s chosen extract is that it inadvertently omitted a whole sequence: “a boy
had been with him. But after forty days without a fish”.
• In terms of size, this is an undertranslation.
 ‫‪Table 5: Translation version 4‬‬
‫‪Analysis and assessment‬‬
‫‪Samir izzat Nassar’s translation closely follows the ST. It is a literal translation that‬‬
‫قال أبوا ‪ (cf.‬أخبره والدا الولد ‪sometimes fails to achieve naturalness as is evident in his saying:‬‬
‫‪).‬قال والدا الصبً البنهما ‪ or‬الغالم البنهما‬
‫‪Samir izzat Nassar is the only one who borrowed the spanish slang term 'salao', which‬‬
‫‪is used in the ST and which means very unlucky in Central America and the Caribbean in‬‬
‫وهً ‪attempt reproduce the cultural context of the novel. Another instance awkwardness is‬‬
‫‪ would have achieved the purpose. Other instances‬درجة لسوء الحظ ‪ where‬أسوأ صٌغة لسًء الحظ‬
‫‪include:‬‬
‫أحزن الولد أن ٌرى الرجل العجوز ٌرجع كل ٌوم‪...‬‬
‫‪which can be compared with:‬‬
‫كان ٌحز فً قلب الغالم أن ٌرى العجوز ‪ /‬كان الصبً ٌشعر بالحزن عندما ٌرى الشٌخ‬
‫كان الشراع مرقعا بؤكٌاس دقٌق‪ ،‬وقد بدا‪ ،‬وهو ملفوف‪ ،‬مثل علم الهزٌمة الدائمة ‪or:‬‬
‫‪which can be compared with:‬‬
‫كان كل شًء فٌه عجوزا ما عدا عٌنٌه فمد كانتا بنفس لون البحر ومرحتٌن وكان الشراع المرقع بؤكٌاس الطحٌن والمطوي ٌبدو مثل راٌة هزٌمة دائمة‬
‫‪? Another flaw in‬جرت البقع إلى أسفل جانبً وجهه تماما ‪Furthermore, what is meant by‬‬
‫‪Nassar’s chosen extract is that it inadvertently omitted a whole sequence: “a boy had been‬‬
‫‪with him. But after forty days without a fish…”. In terms of size, this is an undertranslation.‬‬
‫‪Samir Izzat Nassar 2002‬‬
‫كان رجال عجوزا ٌصطاد السمن وحٌدا فً زورق صغٌر فً تٌار الخلٌج‬
‫ولد أمضى أربعة وثمانٌن ٌوما حتى األن دون أن ٌنال سمكة‪ .‬فً األربعٌن ٌوما‬
‫األولى وهو بال سمن‪ ،‬أخبره والدا الولد بؤن الرجل العجوز أصبح األن ساالو‬
‫‪ salao‬بالتمام والكمال‪ ،‬وهً أسوأ صٌغة لسًء الحظ‪ ،‬فذهب الولد بناء على‬
‫أوامرهما إلى زورق آخر اصطاد ثالث سمكات جٌدات فً األسبوع األول‪ .‬أحزن‬
‫الولد أن ٌرى الرجل العجوز ٌرجع كل ٌوم وزورله خاو وذهب إلٌه دائما لٌعاونه‬
‫فً حمل حباله المجدولة أو المحجن والحربون والشراع المطوي حول الصاري‪.‬‬
‫كان الشراع مرلعا بؤكٌاس دلٌك‪ ،‬ولد بدا‪ ،‬وهو ملفوف‪ ،‬مثل علم الهزٌمة الدائمة‪.‬‬
‫كان الرجل العجوز نحٌال وهزٌال بغضون عمٌمة فً لفا رلبته‪ ،‬انتثرت على‬
‫خدٌه البمع البنٌة لسرطان الجلد الحمٌد الذي تسببه الشمس من انعكاسها على البحر‬
‫المداري‪ .‬جرت البمع إلى أسفل جانبً وجهه تماما وانحفرت فً ٌدٌه الندوب عمٌمة‬
‫الغور من مناولته األسمان الثمٌلة المعلمة بالحبال‪ .‬لكن اٌا من هذه الندوب لم تكن‬
‫جدٌدة‪ .‬كانت لدٌمة لدم تعرٌات فً صحراء بال سمن‪.‬‬
‫وغٌر مهزومتٌن‪.‬‬
‫‪178 words‬‬
Version Five: Abdelhamid Zahid
2007
 ‫• الشٌخ والبحر‬
‫• عبد الحمٌد زاهٌد‬
‫• ‪2007‬‬
‫‪Version Five: Abdelhamid Zahid 2007‬‬
‫فً زمن مضى‪ ،‬كان هنان رجل عجوز ٌصٌد السمن وحٌدا فً مركبه بخلٌج سترٌم‪ ،‬منذ أربعة‬ ‫•‬
‫وثمانٌن ٌوما لم ٌظفر بسمكة واحدة‪ .‬فً األربعٌن ٌوما األولى منها رافمه طفل صغٌر ٌعٌنه على‬
‫أمره‪ .‬لم ٌصد الشٌخ شٌئا فتطٌر أبوا الطفل من الشٌخ لائلٌن البنهما‪ :‬إن الشٌخ ال محالة فاشل‬
‫ونحسه ال ٌرجى من ورائه خٌر‪ .‬اشتغل الطفل فً مركب آخر‪ ،‬وفً أسبوع فمط اصطاد ثالث‬
‫سمكات من الجودة بمكان‪.‬‬
‫فً نهاٌة كل ٌوم‪ٌ ،‬حزن الطفل وهو ٌرى معلمه ٌعود خاوي الوفاض‪ ،‬فكان ٌذهب دائما لمساعدته‬ ‫•‬
‫على حمل الحبال‪ ،‬ورمح الصٌد ولف الشراع حول السارٌة‪ .‬شراع ٌبدو مرلعا بؤثواب لدٌمة‬
‫ألكٌاس من الدلٌك كؤنه علم للهزٌمة المتوالٌة‪.‬‬
‫كان شٌخا نحٌفا‪ ،‬تناثرت على لفاه تجاعٌد عمٌمة‪ ،‬وبدت على وجنتٌه لروح سمراء‪ ،‬وكان‬ ‫•‬
‫النعكاسات الشمس على صفحة مٌاه البحر آثر فً انتشار تلن المروح على جانبً وجهه‪ ،‬أما ٌداه‬
‫فرسمت علٌها الحبال‪ ،‬حٌن تكون مثملة باألسمان‪ ،‬جراحا عمٌمة‪ .‬لم ٌكن من بٌن تلن الجراح جرح‬
‫جدٌد‪ .‬كانت كلها لدٌمة لدم التعرٌة فً صحراء بال سمن‪.‬‬
‫شاخ فٌه كل شًء عدا عٌنٌه؛ كانتا كلون البحر مشرلتٌن غٌر مهزومتٌن‪.‬‬ ‫•‬
‫‪• 174 words‬‬
 Commentary
• Zahid’s translation takes too much liberties with the source text. The
introductory, fairy ‫فً زمن مضى‬, has no equivalent in the ST and is an
unnecessary addition since it suggests a type of fairy tale in a remote past,
which is totally opposite to what Hemingway wants to say (i.e. this is an
actual story of struggle). ‫ عجوز‬suggests weakness whereas ‫ شٌخ‬suggests
wisdom, and consequently is more appropriate. Rather than ‫فتطٌر أبوا الطفل‬
‫ من الشٌخ‬the meaning is desperation ‫ٌؤس‬. It is also difficult to make sense of
‫نحسه ال ٌرجى من ورائه خٌر‬. Also, it is the boat's owners that caught three fish
not the boy. ‫ فً نهاٌة كل ٌوم’ ٌحزن الطفل و هو ٌرى معلمه ٌعود خاوي الوفاض‬suggests
misleadingly that the boy waits the end of every day to lament on the bad
luck of the old man. ‫ لف الشراع حول السارٌة‬is a misleading translation of ‫حمل‬
‫الشراع المطوي حول السارٌة‬. The style is far from reflecting Heminway’s. Even
the paragraphs don’t match. With such liberties this translation
approximates to an adaptation. In terms of size this is an
"undertranslation".
Analysis and assessment Table 6: Translation version 5 Abdelhamid Zahid 2007
Zahid’s translation adapts the narrative to the expectations of the Arabic ‫ كان هنان رجل عجوز ٌصٌد السمن وحٌدا فً مركبه بخلٌج‬،‫فً زمن مضى‬
language readers to the extent of taking some liberties with the ST. The ‫ فً األربعٌن ٌوما األولى منها‬.‫ منذ أربعة وثمانٌن ٌوما لم ٌظفر بسمكة واحدة‬،‫سترٌم‬
introductory phrase -‫فً زمن مضى‬- has no equivalent in the ST and could ‫ لم ٌصد الشٌخ شٌؤ فتطٌر أبوا الطفل من الشٌخ لائلٌن‬.‫رافمه طفل صغٌر ٌعٌنه على أمره‬
unfortunately suggest a type of fairy tale in a remote past, which is totally ‫ اشتغل الطفل فً مركب‬.‫ إن الشٌخ ال محالة فاشل ونحسه ال ٌرجى من ورائه خٌر‬:‫البنهما‬
opposite to what Hemingway wants to say, namely this is an actual story of .‫ وفً أسبوع فمط اصطاد ثالث سمكات من الجودة بمكان‬،‫آخر‬
struggle. ‫ عجوز‬suggests weakness whereas ‫ شٌخ‬suggests wisdom, and ‫ فكان ٌذهب‬،‫ ٌحزن الطفل وهو ٌرى معلمه ٌعود خاوي الوفاض‬،‫فً نهاٌة كل ٌوم‬
consequently is more appropriate. Rather than ‫ فتطٌر أبوا الطفل من الشٌخ‬the meaning ‫ شراع ٌبدو‬.‫ ورمح الصٌد ولف الشراع حول السارٌة‬،‫دائما لمساعدته على حمل الحبال‬
is desperation -‫ٌؤس‬- hence maybe the best term is ‫ٌئس‬. It is similarly difficult to .‫مرلعا بؤثواب لدٌمة ألكٌاس من الدلٌك كؤنه علم للهزٌمة المتوالٌة‬
make sense of ‫نحسه ال ٌرجى من ورائه خٌر‬. Also, it is the boat's owners that caught ‫ وبدت على وجنتٌه لروح‬،‫ تناثرت على لفاه تجاعٌد عمٌمة‬،‫كان شٌخا نحٌفا‬
three fish not the boy. ‫ وكان النعكاسات الشمس على صفحة مٌاه البحر آثر فً انتشار تلن المروح على فً نهاٌة كل ٌوم’ ٌحزن الطفل و هو ٌرى معلمه ٌعود خاوي الوفاض‬،‫سمراء‬
suggests misleadingly that the boy waits the end of every day to lament on the ‫ لم‬.‫ جراحا عمٌمة‬،‫ حٌن تكون مثملة باألسمان‬،‫ أما ٌداه فرسمت علٌها الحبال‬،‫جانبً وجهه‬
old man's bad luck. A suggested alternative could be ‫كان الطفل ٌحس بالحزن وهو‬ .‫ كانت كلها لدٌمة لدم التعرٌة فً صحراء بال سمن‬.‫ٌكن من بٌن تلن الجراح جرح جدٌد‬
‫…ٌرى‬.Furhermore, ‫ لف الشراع حول السارٌة‬is a misleading translation of ‫حمل الشراع‬ .‫شاخ فٌه كل شًء عدا عٌنٌه؛ كانتا كلون البحر مشرلتٌن غٌر مهزومتٌن‬
‫المطوي حول السارٌة‬. In terms of size this is an "undertranslation". Overall, Zahid's 174 words
style excels in fluency and effectiveness especially in the third descriptive
paragraph.
Version Six: Ali Al Kasimi 2008
‫‪• Al Al-Kasimi 2008‬‬

‫عٍ‪ ٟ‬اٌمبعّ‪،ٟ‬‬
‫اٌؾ‪١‬خ ‪ ٚ‬اٌجحش‪ ،‬اٌشثبغ‪:‬‬
‫ِٕؾ‪ٛ‬ساد اٌضِٓ‪2008 ،‬‬
 ‫‪Version Six: Ali Al Kasimi 2008‬‬
‫• كان شٌخا ٌصٌد السمن وحده بمركب شراعً صغٌر فً "مجرى الخلٌج"‪ ،‬ولد أمضى حتى اآلن‬
‫أربعة وثمانٌن ٌوما دون الحصول على سمة واحدة‪ .‬وفً األربعٌن األولى كان معه صبً‪ .‬ولكن‬
‫بعد أربعٌن ٌوما بال سمكة‪ ،‬لال والدا الصبً البنهما ان الشٌخ لد أصٌب بصورة أكٌدة ونهائٌة‬
‫ب"النحس"‪ ،‬وهو أردأ أنواع سوء الحظ‪ ،‬فانتمل الصبً بناء على أوامرهما إلى لارب آخر اصطاد‬
‫ثالث سمكات جٌدة خالل األسبوع األول‪ .‬كان الصبً ٌشعر بالحزن عندما ٌرى الشٌخ ٌعود كل‬
‫ٌوم و مركبه خال‪ ،‬فكان دائما ٌسرع لٌساعده فً حمل الخٌوط الملفوفة‪ ،‬أو الخطاف والحربة‪ ،‬أو‬
‫الشراع المطوي حول السارٌة‪ .‬وكان الشراع المرلع بؤكٌاس الطحٌن والمطوي ٌبدو مثل راٌة‬
‫هزٌمة دائمة‪.‬‬
‫• كان الشٌخ نحٌفا أعجف وله تجاعٌد عمٌمة فً لفا رلبته‪ .‬وعلى خدٌه بمع بنٌة هً نوع من سرطان‬
‫الجلد الذي سببته الشمس من جراء انعكاسها على البحر فً تلن المنطمة االستوائٌة‪ ،‬وانتشرت تلن‬
‫البمع على جانبً وجهه‪ .‬وعلى ٌدٌه آثار جروح عمٌمة خلفها جر األسمان الثمٌلة ورفعها بالحبال‪.‬‬
‫ولكن لم ٌكن أي من آثار الجروح هذه حدٌث العهد‪ .‬كانت لدٌمة لدم التآكالت فً صحراء خالٌة‬
‫من األسمان‪.‬‬
‫• كل شًء فٌه كان لدٌما‪ ،‬ما عدا عٌنٌه‪ ،‬فمد كان لونهما لون البحر‪ ،‬فرحتٌن ال أثر للهزٌمة فٌهما‪.‬‬
‫‪• 192 words‬‬
 Commentary
• Ali Kassimi achieves a close translation that reflects the style of
Hemingway in its simplicity and expressiveness. Using the scale of the
translator’s freedom we can describe his translation as faithful and
balanced. Nevertheless, it is difficult to see why he used ‫وحده‬rather
than ‫ وحٌدا‬since the first is confusing in the sense that it restricts the
fish rather than the protagonist. It is also more natural to say ‫كان شٌخا‬
ً‫ وحٌدا ٌصٌد السمن فً مركب شراع‬rather than ً‫ٌصٌد السمن وحده بمركب شراع‬
(although Al Kassimi has something to say about this in the article
attached to his novel).
 ‫‪Table 7: Translation version 6‬‬

‫‪Analysis and assessment‬‬ ‫‪Ali Al-Kasimi 2008‬‬

‫كان شٌخا ٌصٌد السمن وحده بمركب شراعً صغٌر فً "مجرى الخلٌج"‪ ،‬ولد أمضى حتى اآلن أربعة ‪Ali Al-Kassimi achieves a close translation that reflects the‬‬
‫وثمانٌن ٌوما دون الحصول على سمكة واحدة‪ .‬وفً األربعٌن األولى كان معه صبً‪ .‬ولكن بعد أربعٌن ‪style of Hemingway in its simplicity and expressiveness. Using the‬‬
‫ٌوما بال سمكة‪ ،‬لال والدا الصبً البنهما ان الشٌخ لد أصٌب بصورة أكٌدة ونهائٌة ب"النحس"‪ ،‬وهو أردأ ‪previously established scale of the translator’s freedom we can‬‬
‫أنواع سوء الحظ‪ ،‬فانتمل الصبً بناء على أوامرهما إلى لارب آخر اصطاد ثالث سمكات جٌدة خالل ‪describe his translation as faithful and balanced. Nevertheless, it‬‬
‫األسبوع األول‪ .‬كان الصبً ٌشعر بالحزن عندما ٌرى الشٌخ ٌعود كل ٌوم و مركبه خال‪ ،‬فكان دائما ‪ since the first‬وحٌدا ‪ rather than‬وحده ‪is difficult to see why he used‬‬
‫ٌسرع لٌساعده فً حمل الخٌوط الملفوفة‪ ،‬أو الخطاف والحربة‪ ،‬أو الشراع المطوي حول السارٌة‪ .‬وكان ‪is confusing in the sense that it could be understood as restricting‬‬
‫‪the fish rather than stating that the protagonist was all by himself.‬‬ ‫الشراع المرلع بؤكٌاس الطحٌن والمطوي ٌبدو مثل راٌة هزٌمة دائمة‪.‬‬
‫كان الشٌخ نحٌفا أعجف وله تجاعٌد عمٌمة فً لفا رلبته‪ .‬وعلى خدٌه بمع بنٌة هً نوع من سرطان الجلد كان شٌخا وحٌدا ٌصٌد السمك فً مركب شراعً ‪It is also more natural to say‬‬
‫الذي سببته الشمس من جراء انعكاسها على البحر فً تلن المنطمة االستوائٌة‪ ،‬وانتشرت تلن البمع على ‪ٌ (although Al-Kassimi has‬صٌد السمك وحده بمركب شراعً ‪rather than‬‬
‫‪something to say about this in the article attached to his novel).‬‬ ‫جانبً وجهه‪ .‬وعلى ٌدٌه آثار جروح عمٌمة خلفها جر األسمان الثمٌلة ورفعها بالحبال‪ .‬ولكن لم ٌكن أي‬
‫من آثار الجروح هذه حدٌث العهد‪ .‬كانت لدٌمة لدم التآكالت فً صحراء خالٌة من األسمان‪.‬‬
‫كل شًء فٌه كان لدٌما‪ ،‬ما عدا عٌنٌه‪ ،‬فمد كان لونهما لون البحر‪ ،‬فرحتٌن ال أثر للهزٌمة فٌهما‪.‬‬
‫‪192 words‬‬
 Overall evaluation
• Different translation strategies are used by the translators to deal with
problematic areas in the source text.
• 5 translators out of the 6 preferred not to use the foreign word in the text
(salao) but, nonetheless, they endavoured to compensate for it.
• Quite surprisingly, the single adverb (alone ) proved to be a troublesome
word in translation.
• The few metaphors in the text (such as: “It looked like the flag of
permanent defeat “, “They were as old as erosions in a fishless desert” ) did
not raise any major problems for translation.
• Tense in the extract proved to be a real challenge for many translators.
• Very few translators took significant liberties on occasions with the text
(e.g. ‫فً زمن مضى‬, )