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Caleb Dougherty

Mrs. Cramer

College Comp Honors Pd. 1

8 September 2021

This Is Me

I have a past. When I spell out these words, it not only brings me to a vulnerable part of

myself, but it sheds a light on who I am now. I love how a straightforward, yet powerful sentence

can incapsulate a large part of me.

I suppose my story begins at age eleven, when the neglect of my parents who were

always working and putting other preoccupations first, caught up to me. I was forced to babysit

my siblings all the time and I used anything school-related as an outlet to escape. Nothing was

enough to get me away from what I was forced to call home. To fill the void starting in my mind,

I turned to drugs and a bad group of people for the blind acceptance and attention they gave.

Now an attention-seeking eleven-year-old trying to fit in whilst trying drugs is never good, and I

was absolutely no exception. I was becoming an independent, self-serving and rude young man

without realizing it. With this “lone-wolf” mentality overseeing my life, I forced myself to build

up walls and hide behind masks. All of those actions were just to cover up what I truly was-lost,

scared, and alone.

Luckily, my bad boy stage was short-lived and only spanned about a year and a half. At

that point, I had mentally decided I was going to turn my life around. I started the process to

become a well-rounded individual in school and in my community. I started getting better

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grades, as well as got involved with several different sports and clubs. Most importantly though,

I had attended my first church service and found Christ in my heart.

This all sounds like the beginning of a great turn around, but as I look back, I never did

any of it for the right reasons. I wanted to do things that my parents and others would notice and

be proud of me for. I sought general attention and acceptance instead of doing activities for

myself, to learn my self-worth and self-acceptance I was a better person, but still felt like this

hollow shell that could be molded by the world around me, because I did not know who I was.

In the next chapter of my life, I am fifteen and continuing to struggle. Unfortunately,

what ended up happening next was going to be one of the hardest events to ever happen to me; I

was kicked out of my house, to live with my grandmother. I did not take this well and my mental

health started to plummet drastically. Within a few short months, stress and difficulties had piled

up and I did not know how to help myself. I had built unclimbable walls and I was not about to

let anyone in to see how much of a scared little boy I was. One awful night left me needing an

outlet, while in the mindset that everything was my fault, and I turned to self-harm. I was forced

to get help at a hospital, but I knew life was never going to be the same or even a chance to be

good again back at home. Almost immediately upon my return, I was once again kicked out of

my “home”, and I turned to a family from church that would allow me to stay with them. This

has turned into a positive and permanent living situation and allowed for me to change schools

for a fresh start.

I am profoundly surprised about where I am today in my journey of life. Because of God,

my girlfriend and my new family, I am living life to the fullest and my truest potential. Working

two part-time jobs and pushing myself with a busy and challenging senior year, I am ready for

whatever life throws at me next.