YELLOW FEVER'S FINGER ON LOCAL FOOTBALL'S PULSE

Edition Four
CAPSTICK,
THERON
AND MORE
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 Editorial -
Steps in the Right Direction
Here at Park Life we are pretty emo. We can’t understand why everyone
hates us, and generally we like to hang out by ourselves and listen to
sad music.
But lately some things have given us reason to put down the razor blades
for a moment and wonder if life isn’t maybe worth giving another shot.
Here they are, in short form.
Get Well Soon Cappy
The thoughts of all the staff of Park Life go out to Waterside Karori’s
Dave Capstick. Cappy had his skull cracked by his own team mate two
weekends ago while playing against Island Bay. Cappy needed surgery
and will have a long recovery.
A top man, one of the game’s gentlemen, it’s a tribute to his good
humour that he posted photos of his bandaged head to Facebook with
the comment: “I’ve got a sore head”.

First, there’s the interest in Big Cup - which has been awesome. Big
crowds were reported at Cup games around the Capital and media
coverage was significant. Shows that people care!

Second, there’s the two new artificial turfs about to open at Wakefield
Park, the rumour of two going into Lower Hutt, and one going into
Porirua. After years of whinging, it’s nice to see something happening on
that front!

Third, there’s Capital Football, who have been working alongside Park
Life (who would have thought it!). We have them to thank for our super-
up-to-date Twitter stream of results from the top grades.
Follow us: @Park_Life.

Fourth, is the amount of football being played. 18 Capital Football men’s

leagues this year. Amazing.

Fifth, the new U17 league on a Sunday, which is helping clubs bridge
the gap with schools after the disastrous decision (that nobody wanted)
to move U16 football out of clubs and into schools. Now those kids
have somewhere decent to play, and clubs can stay connected to their
youngsters through high school.

But still everyone hates us and the world is against us. Girls laugh when
we walk past. So it’s back to the bathroom to run the hot water. This time
we have to remember it’s down the road not across the street.

Get well soon Cappy, we all miss you!

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 This Weekend’s Draw

SATURDAY 30 APRIL:
LOTTO MEN’S CENTRAL LEAGUE:
PN Marist vs Lower Hutt City Memorial Pk (2.30)
Western Suburbs vs Wairarapa Utd Endeavour 1 (2.30)
Petone vs Tawa Petone Memorial 1 (2.30)

FOOTBALL CENTRAL PREMIER LEAGUE:
Upper Hutt City vs Wainuiomata Harcourt 1 (2.30)
Miramar Rangers vs Olympic David Farrington Pk (2.30)
Marist vs Island Bay United Kilbirnie (2.30)
Waterside Karorib vs Wellington United Karori Park 1 (2.30)
Stop Out vs Western Suburbs Hutt Pk 1 (2.30)

SUNDAY 1 MAY:
LOTTO MEN’S CENTRAL LEAGUE:
Olympic vs Maycenvale Newtown (2pm);
Napier City Rovers vs Miramar Rangers Park Island (2pm);

Central League Table

P W D L GF GA PTs
Wairarapa Utd 5 4 0 1 13 5 12
Western Suburbs 5 4 0 1 11 7 12
Miramar Rangers 5 3 2 0 9 3 11
Lower Hutt City 5 2 1 2 7 6 7
Olympic 5 2 1 2 12 11 7
Tawa 5 2 1 2 10 13 7
Maycenvale 5 2 0 3 9 12 6
Petone 5 1 1 3 7 12 4
PN Marist 5 1 0 4 7 10 3
Napier City Rovers 5 0 2 3 4 10 2

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 Game of the Week -
Three Crackers
Two really good Central League games worth seeing this weekend.
On Saturday Western Suburbs (2nd) host Wairarapa United (1st) at
Endeavour Park. Wests have been a bit of a surprise this year, back on a
winning curve after a couple of mixed seasons. Wairarapa almost folded
last summer, but despite losing some talented players have kept the core
of their team together and have made a bright start to the season.
Olympic (5th) host Maycenvale (7th) on Sunday at Newtown Park.
Maycenvale have had some good results lately after a slow start to the
season, while Olympic will bounce back any day now from a slow start.
Maycenvale have recent signed former Phoenix goalkeeper coach Jonny
Gould to bolster their defence. Should be a good game.
In Capital Premier the game to go to is probably Miramar vs Olympic at
David Farrington Park. These two old foes always produce good battles
and with Olympic’s first team playing on Sunday they might take the
opportunity to drop a few players for this one. Expect fireworks.
Giggles from Around the Grounds
Tantrum failure of the week goes to Leighton Arraj, who
stormed out of Petone after he was put on the bench as he
came back from injury. He headed across town to Lower
Hutt, where he was told he’d have to start in the reserve
team and work his way up. He didn’t like that much, so
stormed straight back to Petone where he started their next
game. After being subbed in that game, he heaved his toys
out again, and went back to Lower Hutt where he sat on
their bench against Maycenvale. Brilliant stuff.
Same old Smithy. Occasional Park Life contributor Guy
Smith loves a good argument, and also has a famous love for
referee Mohammed Safiq. When trying to organise ambu-
lance access for injured Karori duo Liam Dunbar and David
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Capstick, Smith and Safiq clashed loudly. Safiq trying to keep
Smith off the pitch, and Smith not particularly interested in
complying. Apparently Smith’s loud mouth could be heard
from inside the clubrooms. This follows on from Safiq send-
ing Smith from the sideline in a schoolboy game he was
coaching, and Smith clattering Safiq in last year’s end of sea-
son game against the Referee XI. Rumour has it that Smith
was the one who organised for Safiq’s taxi to be towed from
Te Whaea last year. Angry much?
Shaun Gill made his first appearance for Miramar Rangers
off the bench in their reserve team’s game against Western
Suburbs last weekend. Gill, who is also the reserve team
coach and Team Wellington General Manager, had to glove
up when their regular keeper had to come off injured. Didn’t
help Wests though, they lost 4-2 after being 2-0 up.
Waterside Karori took advantage of a loophole in the sus-
pension laws by sacrificing Dave Capstick in order to get sus-
pended keeper Nick Tarrant back without missing a game.
Tarrant was suspended for the Easter Saturday clash against
Island Bay, but Karori contrived to have the game abandoned
by getting Liam Dunbar to break Cappy’s head. NZF ruled
that the suspension was served, and Tarrant was free to
play in the Monday Chatham Cup fixture. The game against
Island Bay is to be replayed, so he missed nothing. Cappy on
the other hand...
The Theron Files. Any avid follower of Wellington club foot-
ball will have come across the joy of Jake Theron. Now, Park
Life enjoys a beer with Jake as much as the next man, but
he does have a habit of explosions. Here is a brief history of
Jake the Snake:
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 2009
Plays for Western Suburbs, and works for the
attached Ole Academy. Has regular minor tantrums at train-
ing. Throws water bottles when he misses the target (often),
blames all and sundry for his mistakes (many). Famously,
after coming on as a sub with 20 to go, screams to his team
mates “boys, I’ve been on for 15 minutes and I haven’t
touched the ball yet”, as if that was their fault. Spends most
of his time on the bench. Whinges a lot.

2010
Starts season at Wests. Not happy about not starting. Leaves
and heads across town to Stop Out in the league below after
about four games. Gets sent off in his first appearance for
new club. Sets the tone for his time there. Drives everyone
nuts with his non-stop chatter. Steve Gulley tells him to pull
his head in at training. Tension rises. Last game of season
against Island Bay he gets subbed, blows up at coach and
throws his shirt down in disgust. Storms off to changing
rooms, only to find they are locked. Has to walk back to dug-
out with tail between legs and fetch his shirt back. Leaves at
end of season.
2011
Starts season at Lower Hutt. Gets dragged against Maycen-
vale (two weekends ago). Yells at George Barbarouses. Then
yells at coach Brendan McIntyre. Says “F&ck you, you need
to see the game differently you f&ck.” Assaults Bell Park
fence. Heads up to balcony and sinks a few beers. Leaves at
full time. Doesn’t hang around for speeches.
Appears back on the bench for them in Big Cup.
Stay tuned. It’s going to be an interesting season!
Don’t forget to follow Park Life on Facebook and Twitter
We are @Park_Life on Twitter.
And at facebook.com/parklifenz
BIG CUP ROUND ONE DRAW
Central Region (to be played May 14/15)
Wainuiomata vs Wairarapa United – Richard Prouse Park
Wellington United vs Olympic – Newtown Park
Tawa vs Levin or North Wellington – Redwood Park
Upper Hutt vs Waterside Karori – Harcourt Park
Waikanae vs Island Bay – Jim Cooke Park
Lower Hutt City vs Western Suburbs
Petone vs Kapiti Coast United – Petone Park
Stop Out vs Stokes Valley – Hutt Park
Byes to Round two (Central Federation clubs): Inglewood, Napier City
Rovers, New Plymouth Rangers, Palmerston North End, Palmerston
North Marist, Red Sox Manawatu, Taradale.
Seeded to Round two (Chatham Cup champion): Miramar Rangers.

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 VOUCHER

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