Leader Identity Narrative

Trinity Howard

OGL 482: Org Leadership Pro-Seminar II

Dr. McCain

November 7, 2021

Arizona State University

 Introduction

Leadership is the ability to inspire a team to achieve a certain goal. It’s usually discussed

in the context of business, but leadership is also how you, as an individual, choose to lead your

life (Tony Robbins, n.d.). From a reasonably early age, I had to start making choices in which

had a significant impact on what I wanted my life to look like and what kind of life I wanted to

lead. Flashing forward values were instilled in me from my grandmother who was the foundation

of our family unit. I take a great deal of who I am as a person from how she treated others. It

wasn’t till mid-high school I experienced my first hardship, which was losing my grandmother

and in turn losing my mother to the grief she felt over her mother’s passing. I have found that in

some cases of effective leaders there has been a significant correlation between hardship and

leadership. I think that the hardships we face in life make us who we are and provide us with the

choices to overcome these obstacles put in front of us. A study conducted by Sylvia Gonzalez

provided research that played with the idea of formative leadership experiences with hardship

known as coping with struggles, critical events, and triggers that deeply impact leaders and the

way they practice leadership. Sylvia finds the best definition for these critical events by Bennis

and Thomas (2002) as a transformative experience in which the person finds a new identity

through self-reflection and becomes a leader questioning what is important to them. I find this to

be true, while coping with my struggle I took those values taught by my grandmother and I saw

what I wanted my future to look like and I made those choices to lead the life I wanted, and this

started me on my journey.
 My journey

            The earliest memory of where I gathered the values that I have today stem from my

grandmother. She was the foundation of our family. She brought us together and as a polish

grandmother, she showed her deepest love through her food. I was raised by a single parent, but

I’d spend a good amount of time with my grandparents and aunt. My grandmother was a very

kind and nurturing person who was loved by all. I learned very early on her methods of delicious

cooking food and helping put together holiday parties. I loved helping her out and this is where

most of my values came from. She taught me how to take care of people and bring them together

through food and a loving atmosphere. Sadly, she passed away during early high school and my

family was never the same, especially my mother. As my grandmother was a substantial

influence on me, she was even more so one to my mother. My mother couldn’t cope with the

loss, and she turned to alternative coping mechanisms that lead her down a path that was

detrimental to her health. I did my best to help my mother through this time taking on

responsibilities she no longer could, due to her addiction. This was a very tough path for me

spanning from my last years in high school till I was 20 years old, and I could no longer mentally

undergo such an abusive situation. Even though this was a significantly rough period in my life I

had time to reflect on what I wanted out of my life, and I look back now and realize I am the

person I am today because of my past. Throughout this experience, it taught me to be

independent, initiative-taking, and understanding of what others go through. Although every

person's hardship is different, I have been able to share my experiences, and being open about

what I went through has helped many other people in my life, especially my fiancé who had an

experience way worse than I. This critical event leads me to be the person I am today and helps

me to be an effective leader.
            Academically my journey started as soon as I transferred school districts for the seventh

grade. All that I can remember from sixth grade was that my grades were poor, and I didn’t seem

to care, and I can’t speak to why this is exactly. I just remember getting to start new with no

distractions from friends since I was new, but luckily, I fell in with a group of girls that were

academically motivated. This is where I learned that surrounding yourself with motivated people

was a good thing. I hit an all-time high when I won the honor roll in seventh and eighth grade.

This was a huge accomplishment for me, and I was optimistic about high school. I,

unfortunately, got the news that my home school wasn’t going to be the same as my friends, but I

was able to apply for a program that let me go to school with them, which ended up being the

best possible thing I could have done. I transferred into my high school enrolled in the academy

of travel and tourism and within that academy, I was provided the structure needed to get my

driver’s license, be involved in mock interviews, get my first job at 16, and then eventually apply

for colleges which I actually opted out of. I made the decision not to continue to community

college and work instead due to my circumstances at home, but I didn’t hesitate to get back to it

and I enrolled a semester later. Other than my home life issues I was also fearful of the process

and didn’t know how to go about enrolling in college, but my best friend talked me into going

with her and her dad a coach for the college at the time helped me with the process. I continued

my way through community college graduating with my associate degree and then I would spend

the next 5 years working thinking that I would never be able to afford to go to a university. I

separated from my mother and was on my own and I never would have thought going to a

university was in my future. Luckily, I found myself in a job that would pay for my education. I

started my journey at Arizona State University online in 2018 which I have been pursuing a

degree in organizational leadership. As time went on being out of school for so many years, I
found it harder to go back as I feared online schooling and was afraid, I wouldn’t be able to keep

up. I owe a big thanks to my current co-worker at the time and now best friend who gave me the

push I needed to get back into school, looking back now I am very grateful for the friends

surrounding me who helped me through life’s hurdles.

            My professional and working journey is where I have been able to get most of my

leadership experiences and learn from the choices I have made. In the last 4 years being enrolled

at ASU has helped me to evaluate the past, present, and future of my leadership career making

me a better leader as I learn more about who I am. I started working at 16 years old as I needed

an internship for my senior project in high school. I found work at our local movie theater where

I spent 6 years. It was a good first job and it gave me a great opportunity to gain experience

about unequal opportunities that happen in the workplace. I found myself training for and in the

grasps of a management position but unfortunately, I got caught in a bind of favoritism and

people trying to work around rules set forth by the company. The organization didn’t allow for

family members to be working together if they were in different positions than each other to

avoid favoritism but in my case, a manager had her sisters working there and they expedited her

training over mine so the company would find out. I spoke out about this unfair treatment, and I

wasn’t taken seriously. I then found out there was another opening for management in another

department under another senior manager and I left my department being told I was getting the

position but when the senior manager found out of my outspoken attitude toward the situation,

she decided not to promote me. I work for the company for a year or so more finding out after I

left that the senior manager who denied my promotion was stealing resources from the company.

I think deep down she didn’t want to risk an outspoken person such as myself finding out what

she was doing. Working this job showed me to never let treatment like this happen but it didn’t
help my attitude in my second job. When I worked for the movie theaters, I also had a second job

working for Chipotle when I quit the theaters, I still worked two jobs at chipotle still and my new

job at Starbucks. A couple of years went by as I work most of my hours at chipotle and through

those years, I got promoted to takeout specialist then kitchen manager working towards

apprentice which was a step below general manager. Things were good until we received a new

general manager, and this is where I learned my most valuable lesson in keeping my attitude

under control and better managing my feelings towards unfair treatment. I ended up being fired

from Chipotle due to my attitude toward management. There is a lot to be said about how things

were being run but I’d rather not dwell on such things but look at the experience and how it

helped me to redirect my attitude in a more positive environment. As I got the upsetting news, I

went directly to my manager at Starbucks and as he calmed me down, he said you need 40 hours

next week you got it! He then promoted me a year later and I have been there since. Brian was

one of the best managers I had ever had and sadly I haven’t had another manager like him since.

As I have been at Starbucks, I have had my difficulties still learning what new experiences have

to offer me. Learning is a continuous effort and I keep in mind the experiences I have had, and I

want to strive to be the manager that Brian was to me.

My Leadership style

            Over the course of my academic and professional life, I have had a great deal of time to

reflect upon who I am and what my leadership style is. It wasn’t until I dived more into my OGL

classes did I give this some real thought. My OGL classes have given me a great chance at

understanding who I am as a person and a leader. I know typically what I want to accomplish as

a leader, but I understand that there are circumstances that hinder even the best of us as we try to
accomplish these goals. I did some research and gathered some information from my friends,

family, and partners at work. I want to get a sense of how it is that they see me as a leader and

who I am as a person. As I surveyed my friends, they said that I am direct, kind, passionate,

creative, intuitive, goal-oriented, and funny. One of my friends said that since I fought from an

early age having to grow up fast and be more of an adult, being more of a parent to my mother

that it instilled proactive qualities in me that make me who I am today. She says I take pride in

being the mom of the group. This also extends to the people I work with; they say that they are

always able to count on me and the structure and support I provide them is like a mom of the

store. A leadership style that I have most relations with is servant leadership. I am always

concerned with the people I work with, and they are the reasons why I do most of the things I do

within my organization. I have always strived to make our work environment a better place and

boost morale whenever I get the chance. I have taken it upon myself to use my creative abilities

to conduct side projects to make people feel more comfortable at work. I had done projects like a

green apron board so that we can show appreciation and gratitude towards one another to boost

morale. I have done many things in ways of bettering our communication so that everyone feels

included and aware of things happening in our store or community. Most recently I have started

a community bookshelf in our store where customers and children can have reading material at

their leisure. Although I do associate with servant leadership most, I find that in different areas I

possess different styles and I believe in situational leadership. As I continue my leadership

journey there are areas that I would like to accomplish and focus on. In a higher position or a

different job title, I would like to focus on encouragement, inspiration, and incorporating those

toward achieving organizational goals.

 Conclusion

            Overall looking through my leadership experiences I have had a wide range of things to

learn from analyze and to better help me understand who I am as a leader. I know that early on

values were instilled in me that shines through in my leadership abilities that show people my

love and support. I believe that there is a direct correlation between hardship and leadership

where leaders find themselves and make choices based on critical events that have transformed

them. As I have started looking back on my leadership, I realize themes in my leadership

experience which mainly consists of the people in my life and the people I chose to surround me.

I have over the years made strong connections and these people to which I have made these

connections have to help me to be the person I am today. As I continue on my journey, I hope to

help those who need it such as I did, I strive to work towards inspiring those around me to

achieve goals whether it be personal or organizational. I understand that becoming a better leader

is a continuous process in which I am looking forward to gaining more experiences to help me

become the leader I want to be, and the leader others need.
 References

Robbins T., (n.d.). Become A Great Leader. Retrieved from https://www.tonyrobbins.com/what-

is-leadership/

Gonzalez S. (n.d.). Hardship and Leadership: Is there a connection? Retrieved from

https://www.andrews.edu/services/jacl/current_issue/hardship-and-leadership-is-there-a-

connection-.html