1

00:00:22,773 --> 00:00:26,317

All right, everybody, this is
your last meal, so eat up.

2
00:00:28,278 --> 00:00:30,613
From this point forward,
you will not use the bathroom.

3
00:00:30,698 --> 00:00:33,700
We need to keep our starting
weights high so we can lose more.

4
00:00:33,784 --> 00:00:35,410
This summer,
corporate is sponsoring

5
00:00:35,494 --> 00:00:37,704
a little weight loss contest
between the branches.

6
00:00:37,788 --> 00:00:41,332
Whichever branch
loses the most weight

7
00:00:41,417 --> 00:00:42,959
gets three extra
vacation days.

8
00:00:43,419 --> 00:00:44,877
What should we do
with all these leftovers?

9
00:00:44,962 --> 00:00:46,546
I'm taking the dumplings
for my wife.

10
00:00:46,630 --> 00:00:48,172
No, no, no. This
is your last meal.

11
00:00:48,257 --> 00:00:49,716
There will be no leftovers.

12
00:00:49,800 --> 00:00:51,676
I can bring
these to my shelter.
13
00:00:51,760 --> 00:00:53,261
I'm taking my dumplings.

14
00:00:54,471 --> 00:00:56,973
There. Take those
home to your wife.

15
00:00:59,268 --> 00:01:00,226
Dwight! Dwight!

16
00:01:00,310 --> 00:01:01,310
Michael, it's time.

17
00:01:01,395 --> 00:01:03,354
Hit the scales, everybody.

18
00:01:03,439 --> 00:01:06,941
Right on that black platform.
This way. Step it up.

19
00:01:07,025 --> 00:01:08,359
Don't go breaking my scale.

20
00:01:08,736 --> 00:01:10,903
I'm excited to lose
weight for the wedding,

21
00:01:10,988 --> 00:01:13,740
because I really want
to have washboard abs

22
00:01:13,824 --> 00:01:15,908
the first time
Angela sees me naked.

23
00:01:18,412 --> 00:01:19,412
Ex-squeeze me.

24
00:01:19,496 --> 00:01:22,415
No, I will ex-squeeze you.

25
00:01:22,499 --> 00:01:24,333
Okay, everybody,
get used to this,

26
00:01:24,418 --> 00:01:27,462
because we are going to be
standing here briefly

27
00:01:27,546 --> 00:01:29,589
every Monday for the
next seven Mondays.

28
00:01:29,673 --> 00:01:31,924
Wait a minute. One more
bite of éclair each.

29
00:01:32,009 --> 00:01:34,969
Hold it in your mouth
if you can't swallow.

30
00:01:38,015 --> 00:01:39,932
Really? Nothing?

31
00:01:40,017 --> 00:01:42,518
2,336 pounds.

32
00:01:43,645 --> 00:01:45,229
You all need to learn
some portion control.

33
00:01:45,314 --> 00:01:47,732
Wait a minute,
Pam is on the scale.

34
00:01:47,816 --> 00:01:51,068
Pam-cake, no, no, no. We would
love your extra poundage,

35
00:01:51,153 --> 00:01:55,239
but you are going to be leaving
us next week, so vamoose!

36
00:01:55,866 --> 00:01:58,785
Okay. Vamoose, Pam. Dunder
Mifflin family only.

37
00:01:58,869 --> 00:02:00,119
Family only.

38
00:02:00,204 --> 00:02:03,206
All right, got it.
2,210 pounds.

39
00:02:09,004 --> 00:02:12,632
Pam, you weigh 226 pounds?

40
00:02:12,716 --> 00:02:14,050
Almost, Kevin.

41
00:02:14,134 --> 00:02:15,968
Not almost, though, Holly.

42
00:02:16,053 --> 00:02:18,262
I mean, not...
Not close to 200.

43
00:02:18,347 --> 00:02:19,514
Math is hard.

44
00:02:19,598 --> 00:02:20,723
Yeah.

45
00:02:20,808 --> 00:02:23,059
Just...
We'll, just keep going.

46
00:02:27,356 --> 00:02:29,732
I'm totally going to slaughter
at the weigh-in today.

47
00:02:29,817 --> 00:02:30,858
All I had this
weekend to eat

48
00:02:30,943 --> 00:02:32,693
was a chicken breast
and a case of Diet Coke.

49
00:02:32,778 --> 00:02:33,778
Really?
Yeah.

50
00:02:33,862 --> 00:02:36,531
'Cause I haven't eaten
anything since noon on Friday.

51
00:02:36,615 --> 00:02:39,325
Okay. Stanley, come on.

52
00:02:39,409 --> 00:02:40,618
Oh, I forgot
something in my car.

53
00:02:40,702 --> 00:02:41,828
I'll see you guys up there.

54
00:02:41,912 --> 00:02:43,246
All right.

55
00:02:45,916 --> 00:02:48,960
I happen to be losing weight
on my own for my own reasons.

56
00:02:49,044 --> 00:02:53,840
The truth is, I have lost a little
of my speed, a little of my fire.

57
00:02:53,924 --> 00:02:55,550
Here's what I
used to look like.

58
00:02:55,634 --> 00:02:57,176
Look at those biceps.

59
00:02:57,261 --> 00:03:00,763
We were fighting the power
and eating whatever we wanted.

60
00:03:01,056 --> 00:03:05,935
And arch your back and
slowly bring up your head.

61
00:03:10,107 --> 00:03:11,816
Jimbo. Oh. They
moved the shower.

62
00:03:11,900 --> 00:03:13,901
Did you see Holly's butt?

63
00:03:13,986 --> 00:03:15,403
No, I didn't.

64
00:03:16,321 --> 00:03:17,905
You know why?
Why?

65
00:03:17,990 --> 00:03:21,534
Because most of the time, friends don't
talk about other friends' butts.

66
00:03:21,618 --> 00:03:23,911
I... I know.

67
00:03:23,996 --> 00:03:25,538
But what have you
learned about her?

68
00:03:25,622 --> 00:03:28,666
I learned that she broke her
left leg twice in one year.

69
00:03:28,750 --> 00:03:31,711
I learned that she's
allergic to sesame seeds.

70
00:03:31,795 --> 00:03:35,298
I learned that she has read
Lonesome Dove three times.

71
00:03:35,382 --> 00:03:36,382
Nice.

72
00:03:36,466 --> 00:03:39,719
And that her butt
refuses to quit.

73
00:03:39,803 --> 00:03:41,304
Well, I tried.

74
00:03:42,264 --> 00:03:46,309
You have to... You have to agree with me.
That's insane.

75
00:03:46,435 --> 00:03:48,477
I'll just go later. That's insane.
I thought you had to pee.

76
00:03:57,070 --> 00:04:01,073
Hey, if you're into yoga, I take a
great Bikram class in Dickson City.
77
00:04:01,158 --> 00:04:02,825
Oh, thanks.
I should check that out.

78
00:04:02,910 --> 00:04:06,913
Also, and no pressure,
the teacher, he's a catch.

79
00:04:06,997 --> 00:04:08,331
Actually, I'm a lesbian.

80
00:04:08,415 --> 00:04:09,582
I'm gay.

81
00:04:10,667 --> 00:04:12,084
I'm not a lesbian.

82
00:04:12,169 --> 00:04:14,629
I don't know why I said that.
Stupid joke.

83
00:04:14,713 --> 00:04:16,380
What's the joke?

84
00:04:16,465 --> 00:04:18,174
No, there is no joke.

85
00:04:18,926 --> 00:04:22,053
I just said it because I
haven't had much luck lately

86
00:04:22,137 --> 00:04:23,971
and I'm not really
looking to date,

87
00:04:24,056 --> 00:04:26,515
so maybe I should
switch to women.

88
00:04:27,351 --> 00:04:29,310
You think it's a choice?

89
00:04:31,813 --> 00:04:34,690
I'm going to head back to
my work area and just...
90
00:04:34,775 --> 00:04:36,901
I'm messing
with you, Holly.

91
00:04:37,736 --> 00:04:39,570
I knew that.

92
00:04:39,655 --> 00:04:40,988
Okay, bye.
Okay.

93
00:04:41,073 --> 00:04:42,490
So you have the directions?
Yeah.

94
00:04:42,574 --> 00:04:43,616
You have a toothbrush?
Yes.

95
00:04:43,700 --> 00:04:44,742
You have a cell
phone charger?

96
00:04:44,826 --> 00:04:45,785
I have everything.

97
00:04:45,869 --> 00:04:48,120
Tomorrow, I start a
three-month design program

98
00:04:48,205 --> 00:04:50,247
at the Pratt Institute
in New York.

99
00:04:50,332 --> 00:04:53,125
I will be a little
fish in the Big Apple.

100
00:04:54,044 --> 00:04:55,920
What up, two-one-two?

101
00:04:56,672 --> 00:04:57,797
Fax this for me.

102
00:04:57,881 --> 00:04:59,799
Come on, man. She goes to New
York in, like, 10 minutes.

103
00:04:59,883 --> 00:05:03,094
It's not going to take her
10 minutes to fax it, Jim.

104
00:05:03,178 --> 00:05:04,720
If I don't see
you again, goodbye.

105
00:05:04,805 --> 00:05:07,181
Well, actually, I'll see you when
you give me the fax confirmation.

106
00:05:07,265 --> 00:05:09,684
So never mind.

107
00:05:11,061 --> 00:05:13,896
Ang... ela.

108
00:05:14,773 --> 00:05:16,816
Ela, ela, ela

109
00:05:16,900 --> 00:05:18,985
Under my Angerela

110
00:05:19,069 --> 00:05:21,654
Ela, ela, eh, eh

111
00:05:21,738 --> 00:05:22,780
What?

112
00:05:22,864 --> 00:05:24,365
Hey, check it out.

113
00:05:24,449 --> 00:05:26,826
This is The Breakers,
Newport, Rhode Island.

114
00:05:26,910 --> 00:05:30,579
Huge, awesome, gorgeous mansion
overlooking the Atlantic.

115
00:05:30,664 --> 00:05:33,374
And my dad went to Cornell with
the current groundskeeper.

116
00:05:33,625 --> 00:05:38,421
Every little boy fantasizes
about his fairytale wedding.

117
00:05:39,631 --> 00:05:41,173
No. No.

118
00:05:41,258 --> 00:05:43,342
This is where my parents
decided not to get divorced.

119
00:05:43,427 --> 00:05:44,677
I don't care.
Okay.

120
00:05:44,761 --> 00:05:47,471
How do you feel
about Maine?

121
00:05:49,850 --> 00:05:52,601
I'm on it. I'll see
you later, love.

122
00:06:11,747 --> 00:06:14,248
We done good in there,
half-pint.

123
00:06:14,332 --> 00:06:16,208
Well, that was the last time, Dwight.
I mean it.

124
00:06:16,293 --> 00:06:18,044
Monkey.
No. No.

125
00:06:18,128 --> 00:06:20,296
I have a fiancé
I very much like.

126
00:06:29,848 --> 00:06:31,140
Hey! Hey!

127
00:06:48,784 --> 00:06:51,994
Pam! Pam! Hey.
128
00:06:53,038 --> 00:06:54,038
What happened?

129
00:06:54,122 --> 00:06:55,247
I wrote you
a goodbye poem.

130
00:06:55,332 --> 00:06:58,584
It's really long. I left
it up in my office.

131
00:06:58,668 --> 00:07:00,086
Could you just please
wait until I go get it?

132
00:07:00,170 --> 00:07:01,128
I should really get going.

133
00:07:01,213 --> 00:07:03,672
No. Okay. Okay.

134
00:07:06,009 --> 00:07:08,177
The last word is "seagulls."

135
00:07:09,054 --> 00:07:10,262
I'm sure it was
really lovely.

136
00:07:10,347 --> 00:07:11,806
I took a lot from other poems.

137
00:07:14,142 --> 00:07:15,643
Call me when you get in.
Okay.

138
00:07:15,727 --> 00:07:16,769
Bye.
Bye.

139
00:07:16,853 --> 00:07:17,812
All right, call...

140
00:07:17,896 --> 00:07:19,188
No, Michael.

141
00:07:23,693 --> 00:07:25,778
Why haven't I
proposed yet?

142
00:07:25,862 --> 00:07:29,490
Actually, Pam and I talked about it.
And we just decided that,

143
00:07:29,574 --> 00:07:32,409
well, we didn't want to spend the first
three months of our engagement apart.

144
00:07:32,494 --> 00:07:35,162
And Pam's always said she
doesn't want a long engagement.

145
00:07:35,247 --> 00:07:37,540
Something in her past,
I guess.

146
00:07:37,624 --> 00:07:38,874
Not really sure
of the whole story,

147
00:07:38,959 --> 00:07:42,044
but something about a guy
who used to work here.

148
00:07:42,629 --> 00:07:45,506
Okay. No, no, no, no, no!
Same places as last week.

149
00:07:45,590 --> 00:07:46,966
It doesn't matter, Michael.
Yes, it does.

150
00:07:47,050 --> 00:07:49,760
No, this is about
weight displacement.

151
00:07:49,845 --> 00:07:51,303
We have to have the same
weight distribution.

152
00:07:51,388 --> 00:07:53,139
Right here.
There we go.
153
00:07:53,223 --> 00:07:55,391
Let's move that up.
There we go.

154
00:07:55,976 --> 00:07:57,893
Fancy meeting you here.

155
00:07:59,980 --> 00:08:02,064
Okay, everybody smile.

156
00:08:07,362 --> 00:08:08,988
You lost 31 pounds.

157
00:08:09,072 --> 00:08:10,990
Hey!
Yeah!

158
00:08:11,825 --> 00:08:13,075
All right!
Yes!

159
00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:14,410
I can't believe
I'm saying this,

160
00:08:14,494 --> 00:08:17,997
but Michael is actually
killing it with Holly.

161
00:08:18,081 --> 00:08:22,334
And I think I know why. It's because
Holly is kind of a major dork.

162
00:08:24,921 --> 00:08:27,047
I'm MC Mike Scott and I am hot

163
00:08:27,132 --> 00:08:29,425
She's DJ Jazzy Flax
and she is the best

164
00:08:29,509 --> 00:08:32,011
All the sucker branches
can suck our fat

165
00:08:32,762 --> 00:08:34,597
Wicka-wicka-wicka what?
166
00:08:40,896 --> 00:08:43,105
Dunder Mifflin.
This is Ronni.

167
00:08:44,065 --> 00:08:45,316
I don't
really know Ronni.

168
00:08:45,400 --> 00:08:47,651
But I have a feeling I will
get to know her very well

169
00:08:47,736 --> 00:08:49,820
over the next few years.

170
00:08:49,905 --> 00:08:52,281
And eventually
declare my love for her.

171
00:08:55,243 --> 00:08:58,704
Sorry I'm late. I accidently
switched my alarm clock setting

172
00:08:58,788 --> 00:09:00,539
to Zapf Chancery.

173
00:09:01,875 --> 00:09:04,877
Which is my terrible
segue into our course,

174
00:09:05,462 --> 00:09:08,130
Expressive Typography
in New Media.

175
00:09:09,758 --> 00:09:11,800
I'm in the wrong class.

176
00:09:11,885 --> 00:09:15,346
Some of you may remember from last
semester, I am Professor Monahan.

177
00:09:15,430 --> 00:09:18,265
And it looks like I'm
boring someone already.

178
00:09:18,350 --> 00:09:20,643
No, I just...
Please sit down.

179
00:09:32,113 --> 00:09:33,656
You're shaking.
Are you all right?

180
00:09:33,740 --> 00:09:35,658
Just leave me alone!

181
00:09:35,992 --> 00:09:38,911
I am on the third day
of my cleanse diet.

182
00:09:38,995 --> 00:09:41,330
All I have to do
is drink maple syrup,

183
00:09:41,414 --> 00:09:45,042
lemon juice, cayenne pepper and
water for all three meals.

184
00:09:46,169 --> 00:09:49,004
I just bought some bikinis
online, size two. So...

185
00:09:50,507 --> 00:09:52,424
Gonna look amazing!

186
00:09:58,265 --> 00:09:59,682
Hi, can I help you?

187
00:09:59,766 --> 00:10:02,101
I need you to make me 100 copies
of this on canary yellow.

188
00:10:02,185 --> 00:10:03,227
Hey, Jan.
Hi.

189
00:10:03,311 --> 00:10:04,603
How's the candle game?

190
00:10:04,688 --> 00:10:05,938
Oh, great. Yeah.
191
00:10:06,022 --> 00:10:09,316
Serenity by Jan is kicking
ass and taking names.

192
00:10:10,193 --> 00:10:12,027
You remember last week
when that girl went missing,

193
00:10:12,112 --> 00:10:14,238
guess whose candles
they used for the vigil?

194
00:10:14,322 --> 00:10:17,616
Cool. Thank God
they found her, too.

195
00:10:17,701 --> 00:10:19,785
Oh, they found her?
Hi, Jan.

196
00:10:19,869 --> 00:10:21,954
Hello, baby. How are you?

197
00:10:22,038 --> 00:10:24,081
Good to see you.
Who's your daddy?

198
00:10:24,165 --> 00:10:25,833
You don't know who
your daddy is, do you?

199
00:10:25,917 --> 00:10:27,793
No, you don't. Come on.
Let's go in.

200
00:10:27,877 --> 00:10:29,878
When Michael told us
that Jan was pregnant,

201
00:10:29,963 --> 00:10:32,715
he led us to believe
that he was the father,

202
00:10:32,799 --> 00:10:35,384
by telling us that
he was the father.
203
00:10:36,219 --> 00:10:37,594
Hey, Oscar.

204
00:10:38,346 --> 00:10:40,764
Who's that woman in Michael's
office with the feet?

205
00:10:40,849 --> 00:10:42,349
That's his ex.

206
00:10:42,726 --> 00:10:45,019
Oh. She's very beautiful.

207
00:10:45,103 --> 00:10:48,105
Yeah, she is.
And clinically insane.

208
00:10:50,150 --> 00:10:54,111
So, listen, I don't know if your
offer still stands or whatever,

209
00:10:54,195 --> 00:10:56,864
but you can give your
yoga teacher my number.

210
00:10:56,948 --> 00:10:57,948
Okay.

211
00:10:58,033 --> 00:10:59,325
Listen, dummy,
it's not that hard.

212
00:10:59,409 --> 00:11:02,328
All you have to do is take the
numbers from the sales report

213
00:11:02,412 --> 00:11:04,371
and type them into
a master spreadsheet.

214
00:11:04,456 --> 00:11:07,624
A GD monkey could do it. I do not
understand why you can't do it!

215
00:11:07,709 --> 00:11:11,545
No! You do not
talk to him like that!

216
00:11:11,629 --> 00:11:13,380
But he's an idiot.
Hey.

217
00:11:13,465 --> 00:11:15,174
He is not an idiot.

218
00:11:15,258 --> 00:11:16,258
Thank you, Holly.

219
00:11:16,343 --> 00:11:18,260
He is mentally challenged.

220
00:11:19,429 --> 00:11:21,764
But he's doing
a super job here.

221
00:11:21,848 --> 00:11:23,265
Wait, back up.

222
00:11:25,435 --> 00:11:27,770
Do you think
that I'm retarded?

223
00:11:29,064 --> 00:11:33,108
What... No. Dwight.

224
00:11:34,527 --> 00:11:37,613
Oh, Holly,
that is very offensive.

225
00:11:37,697 --> 00:11:38,989
I'm sorry.

226
00:11:52,253 --> 00:11:54,880
Hey, so,

227
00:11:54,964 --> 00:11:59,551
since my little lady has such particular,
impossible-to-perceive taste,

228
00:11:59,636 --> 00:12:01,553
I've made
non-refundable deposits
229
00:12:01,638 --> 00:12:04,014
at four totally different
wedding locales.

230
00:12:04,599 --> 00:12:06,725
Hot air balloons
over Napa Valley,

231
00:12:06,810 --> 00:12:09,561
world famous Walt Disney's
Epcot Center,

232
00:12:09,646 --> 00:12:11,772
scuba diving
wedding in the Bahamas

233
00:12:11,856 --> 00:12:14,483
and Wilkes-Barre
Marriott Ballroom C.

234
00:12:15,193 --> 00:12:19,029
Dangerous, tacky,
sharks, haunted. No.

235
00:12:20,782 --> 00:12:22,199
Hurry, we have to
make this fast.

236
00:12:22,283 --> 00:12:23,992
Let's do this thing!

237
00:12:24,077 --> 00:12:25,077
Hey!

238
00:12:25,161 --> 00:12:28,414
I have a nice comforter
and several cozy pillows.

239
00:12:28,498 --> 00:12:32,042
I usually read a chapter of a
book and it's lights-out by 8:30.

240
00:12:32,127 --> 00:12:34,169
That's how I sleep at night.

241
00:12:34,504 --> 00:12:36,630
All right, I am connecting.

242
00:12:36,714 --> 00:12:40,175
And you are not there.

243
00:12:41,219 --> 00:12:42,886
Did you install it right?

244
00:12:42,971 --> 00:12:44,346
How about this?
Go to applications...

245
00:12:46,224 --> 00:12:47,391
I can see you!

246
00:12:47,475 --> 00:12:49,685
All right!
This is so cool!

247
00:12:49,769 --> 00:12:52,146
So what is going on,
girl in the computer?

248
00:12:52,272 --> 00:12:53,939
Lunch with a girl from my hall.
Uh-huh.

249
00:12:54,023 --> 00:12:56,817
Ceramics class,
then dinner by myself.

250
00:12:56,901 --> 00:12:58,777
I'm going to watch HGTV,

251
00:12:58,862 --> 00:13:01,238
and maybe go to Bungalow 8
with John Mayer.

252
00:13:01,322 --> 00:13:02,823
Okay, can you turn the
girl off, please?

253
00:13:02,907 --> 00:13:03,949
I'm trying to
get some work done.
254
00:13:04,033 --> 00:13:08,120
No way! No way!
Pam Beesly! Hello!

255
00:13:08,496 --> 00:13:09,455
Hey!

256
00:13:09,539 --> 00:13:10,873
Hey, everybody, look! Pam!

257
00:13:10,957 --> 00:13:12,541
Pam! Say hi!
Say hi to Pam!

258
00:13:12,625 --> 00:13:13,750
Hi, Pam.

259
00:13:13,835 --> 00:13:15,335
Don't we
all look skinny?

260
00:13:16,713 --> 00:13:17,921
Almost dropped you.

261
00:13:18,006 --> 00:13:19,631
Can you put me down?
I'm getting a little nauseous.

262
00:13:19,716 --> 00:13:22,718
Pam, I would like you
to meet Ronni.

263
00:13:23,344 --> 00:13:24,887
We call her
"Rice-a-Ronni."

264
00:13:24,971 --> 00:13:27,514
She is hilarious,
she is wonderful,

265
00:13:27,599 --> 00:13:31,643
a beam of light in this
dark, dark office.

266
00:13:32,729 --> 00:13:34,438
Not really so much.
267
00:13:35,231 --> 00:13:39,026
All she does is plop herself down
there and answer phones all day.

268
00:13:39,110 --> 00:13:40,277
The nerve.

269
00:13:40,361 --> 00:13:43,447
Calm down, weirdo. Just a joke.
She's such a weirdo.

270
00:13:43,531 --> 00:13:45,824
You know what? My real beef
with her, though, Pam,

271
00:13:45,909 --> 00:13:47,576
is that she can't
find those little

272
00:13:47,660 --> 00:13:49,328
colored paperclips
that I like so much.

273
00:13:49,412 --> 00:13:50,704
Would you help her
find them, please?

274
00:13:50,788 --> 00:13:52,164
They're on the supply shelf.

275
00:13:52,248 --> 00:13:53,457
Let's go!
Yeah.

276
00:13:53,541 --> 00:13:56,335
We are following Pam
to the supply shelf.

277
00:13:57,253 --> 00:13:58,420
Let us go.

278
00:13:58,796 --> 00:14:00,297
New York is so exciting.

279
00:14:00,381 --> 00:14:02,966
I love my classes.
The city is awesome.

280
00:14:05,011 --> 00:14:07,721
Can you give me
back to Jim now please?

281
00:14:08,598 --> 00:14:11,350
Okay, everybody,
let's suck in our guts.

282
00:14:14,103 --> 00:14:17,189
2,184 pounds for a grand...

283
00:14:17,273 --> 00:14:19,691
Oh. You all gained
five pounds back.

284
00:14:19,776 --> 00:14:21,109
Damn it. Come on!

285
00:14:23,988 --> 00:14:25,447
Oh, my God.

286
00:14:32,455 --> 00:14:34,289
- Come on, Bernard.
- Here we go.

287
00:14:34,374 --> 00:14:35,666
- Move it.
- Everybody on.

288
00:14:35,750 --> 00:14:36,708
All right, we're set.

289
00:14:36,793 --> 00:14:39,378
Still good.
You guys lost a pound.

290
00:14:40,630 --> 00:14:42,130
You lost one pound.

291
00:14:42,215 --> 00:14:45,300
I was on an IV for two
days at the hospital.

292
00:14:45,385 --> 00:14:46,843
I lost four pounds.

293
00:14:46,928 --> 00:14:48,554
I don't know what those
other fools were doing,

294
00:14:48,638 --> 00:14:50,055
but I lost four pounds.

295
00:14:50,473 --> 00:14:52,224
Angela, you'll
go to the supermarket

296
00:14:52,308 --> 00:14:54,059
and get the
New York cheesecake.

297
00:14:54,143 --> 00:14:56,061
Make sure it's
the generic one.

298
00:14:56,145 --> 00:14:57,813
It's Stanley's favorite.

299
00:14:59,065 --> 00:15:02,901
Yes, I've replaced Angela as head
of the Party Planning Committee.

300
00:15:02,986 --> 00:15:06,530
I guess I was just in the right
place at the right time.

301
00:15:07,156 --> 00:15:08,323
How's it going?

302
00:15:08,408 --> 00:15:10,242
- It's going well.
- Good.

303
00:15:10,326 --> 00:15:11,952
I have a crazy idea.

304
00:15:12,036 --> 00:15:15,205
What if we did fruit
instead of cake?
305
00:15:15,290 --> 00:15:17,291
Cake?
Who suggested cake?

306
00:15:18,293 --> 00:15:20,794
We lost weight today.
I think it's okay

307
00:15:20,878 --> 00:15:22,754
to reward ourselves
once in a while.

308
00:15:22,839 --> 00:15:24,131
Are you kidding me?

309
00:15:24,215 --> 00:15:26,133
We only lost
one pound, Phyllis.

310
00:15:26,301 --> 00:15:28,635
What is wrong
with these people?

311
00:15:29,053 --> 00:15:31,513
They have no willpower.
I went...

312
00:15:32,223 --> 00:15:36,268
I once went 28 years
without having sex.

313
00:15:38,021 --> 00:15:40,314
And then again
for seven years.

314
00:15:41,190 --> 00:15:43,233
Does anyone have any idea

315
00:15:43,318 --> 00:15:46,903
what the number one cause of
death is in this country?

316
00:15:46,988 --> 00:15:48,947
Shotgun weddings.
That's not what that is.

317
00:15:49,032 --> 00:15:50,282
Fright.
Being scared to death.

318
00:15:50,366 --> 00:15:51,491
No.

319
00:15:51,576 --> 00:15:53,452
Obesity-caused illnesses.
Obesity-caused illnesses.

320
00:15:53,536 --> 00:15:55,245
Thank you.
Holly is right.

321
00:15:55,330 --> 00:15:59,625
People, this is not just about
winning some extra vacation days.

322
00:15:59,709 --> 00:16:05,714
This is about a very cool HR
initiative that if we don't follow

323
00:16:05,798 --> 00:16:08,300
we are all going
to die of obesity.

324
00:16:09,177 --> 00:16:10,302
So how much are
we going to lose?

325
00:16:10,386 --> 00:16:12,095
I would like to
lose 65 pounds.

326
00:16:12,180 --> 00:16:14,890
Yes! All right. Who else?

327
00:16:14,974 --> 00:16:17,184
Angela, can I put you
down for 10 pounds?

328
00:16:17,268 --> 00:16:19,436
No. My doctor wants me
to gain weight.

329
00:16:19,520 --> 00:16:21,271
If you gain weight,
you will die.

330
00:16:21,356 --> 00:16:24,441
I want you to live forever.
I want us all to live forever.

331
00:16:24,525 --> 00:16:25,817
How? How are we
going to do this?

332
00:16:25,902 --> 00:16:28,362
Cryogenics.
Beer me five.

333
00:16:28,905 --> 00:16:30,155
This is how
we're going to do it.

334
00:16:30,239 --> 00:16:33,033
Five pounds. I'm asking each
of you to lose five pounds.

335
00:16:33,117 --> 00:16:35,994
That, plus Jim's 65,

336
00:16:36,079 --> 00:16:38,246
give us a very good chance
at winning this thing.

337
00:16:39,582 --> 00:16:41,333
All right, I'm taking off.

338
00:16:41,417 --> 00:16:43,627
Booty call.
No, just going to see Pam.

339
00:16:43,711 --> 00:16:46,254
Maybe put up some shelves.
Here. Wait a second.

340
00:16:46,339 --> 00:16:52,135
I don't want you to end up with
a surprise pregnancy like me.

341
00:16:52,595 --> 00:16:55,013
Okay. Thank you for this.
342
00:16:55,098 --> 00:16:56,848
You want more?
No.

343
00:16:58,518 --> 00:17:02,479
I don't know if there's any one
place that has all these things.

344
00:17:02,647 --> 00:17:04,106
That's not my problem.

345
00:17:04,190 --> 00:17:07,818
"Thousand-year-old church in
the continental United States.

346
00:17:07,902 --> 00:17:09,236
"There has to be a rainbow,

347
00:17:09,320 --> 00:17:10,487
"24 hour
veterinarian on call."

348
00:17:11,656 --> 00:17:13,031
That is very
important to me.

349
00:17:13,116 --> 00:17:15,617
So, I have work to do.
Just do it.

350
00:17:17,245 --> 00:17:18,829
Sweetheart,

351
00:17:20,248 --> 00:17:23,500
just so you know, I don't
care where we get married.

352
00:17:23,626 --> 00:17:25,836
I'll marry you right
here in this building.

353
00:17:25,920 --> 00:17:27,421
I'll marry you
in the parking lot.

354
00:17:27,505 --> 00:17:32,092
I'll marry you in the eye of a hurricane
in the middle of a snow storm

355
00:17:32,176 --> 00:17:33,969
on top of a monsoon.

356
00:17:36,806 --> 00:17:38,306
All I care about is
that we're going to

357
00:17:38,391 --> 00:17:41,476
spend the rest of
our lives together.

358
00:17:49,360 --> 00:17:52,070
I know I haven't
made this easy on you.

359
00:18:11,340 --> 00:18:12,716
Hold on.

360
00:18:13,217 --> 00:18:14,468
Hi.
Hi.

361
00:18:22,393 --> 00:18:26,646
Oh. So rude of me. Have
you seen Pam's new art?

362
00:18:26,856 --> 00:18:29,149
It's right there.
Check it out.

363
00:18:44,040 --> 00:18:46,541
It's a pretty lame party.

364
00:18:46,626 --> 00:18:48,668
Does anyone want to dance?

365
00:19:00,556 --> 00:19:02,432
Some girl came into Pam's room

366
00:19:02,517 --> 00:19:05,894
crying about her roommate
stealing her soy milk.
367
00:19:05,978 --> 00:19:08,313
So I'm in here
waiting it out.

368
00:19:09,649 --> 00:19:10,982
Stanley, Michael's not here.

369
00:19:11,067 --> 00:19:12,901
You can eat a slice
of your birthday cake.

370
00:19:12,985 --> 00:19:14,820
I don't like cake anymore.

371
00:19:14,904 --> 00:19:16,279
Why not, dawg?

372
00:19:16,364 --> 00:19:20,075
Taste changed.
Now all I like is baklava.

373
00:19:21,327 --> 00:19:23,537
Michael, we have a situation!

374
00:19:26,916 --> 00:19:29,334
They should not
be in that room.

375
00:19:29,418 --> 00:19:30,836
That's so lame.
They didn't invite us.

376
00:19:30,920 --> 00:19:32,170
You know what we should do?

377
00:19:32,255 --> 00:19:33,713
We should have a party
and not invite them.

378
00:19:33,798 --> 00:19:36,341
Yeah.
Let's go mini-golfing.

379
00:19:36,425 --> 00:19:37,425
Yeah?
380
00:19:37,510 --> 00:19:41,346
Oh, hey, could I have a rain
check on the mini-golf?

381
00:19:41,430 --> 00:19:43,765
I actually have
a date tonight.

382
00:19:46,686 --> 00:19:49,521
It'll probably be
a total disaster, but...

383
00:19:50,523 --> 00:19:54,985
I think you'll have fun because
men from Scranton are handsome

384
00:19:55,069 --> 00:19:57,529
and they know how to show
a woman a good time.

385
00:19:57,613 --> 00:19:59,114
Not that guy who
murdered his mother.

386
00:19:59,198 --> 00:20:01,449
He was not so handsome.

387
00:20:01,784 --> 00:20:03,201
Also Kevin.
You know what?

388
00:20:03,286 --> 00:20:04,369
We're pretty much
done here today.

389
00:20:04,453 --> 00:20:06,037
Why don't you
just take off early?

390
00:20:06,122 --> 00:20:07,080
Really?
Yeah.

391
00:20:07,164 --> 00:20:08,248
That's sweet.

392
00:20:09,250 --> 00:20:10,709
Wish me luck.
Good luck.

393
00:20:10,793 --> 00:20:12,127
Hey.

394
00:20:12,211 --> 00:20:13,461
Holly doesn't need luck.

395
00:20:13,588 --> 00:20:16,214
Everyone that meets her
instantly loves her.

396
00:20:16,299 --> 00:20:19,301
Party's over!
You're so busted!

397
00:20:19,385 --> 00:20:21,261
Okay, everybody.

398
00:20:21,345 --> 00:20:24,264
Phyllis, did I or did
I not say fruit?

399
00:20:24,348 --> 00:20:25,390
You said fruit, Michael.

400
00:20:25,474 --> 00:20:27,309
And what is that?

401
00:20:27,393 --> 00:20:28,435
Cake.

402
00:20:28,519 --> 00:20:30,645
You know, we're going to have
to try a little bit harder

403
00:20:30,730 --> 00:20:32,939
if we are going
to win this thing.

404
00:20:33,024 --> 00:20:34,983
Happy birthday, Stanley!

405
00:20:40,489 --> 00:20:43,241
It's kind of a good news,
bad news situation.

406
00:20:43,326 --> 00:20:45,535
The bad news is,
we're not doing very well,

407
00:20:45,620 --> 00:20:48,747
so we really had to starve
ourselves this whole week.

408
00:20:48,831 --> 00:20:50,874
But the good news is that
all the other branches

409
00:20:50,958 --> 00:20:52,667
are doing just
as bad as we are,

410
00:20:52,752 --> 00:20:55,670
so corporate upped
the prize to five days.

411
00:20:55,755 --> 00:20:57,505
So if we stay fat long enough,

412
00:20:57,590 --> 00:21:00,008
we may actually get
a whole month off.

413
00:21:07,350 --> 00:21:09,059
What?
Oh, nothing.

414
00:21:10,186 --> 00:21:12,354
It's just some of us are
taking this really seriously.

415
00:21:12,730 --> 00:21:14,648
I swallowed
a tapeworm last night.

416
00:21:14,732 --> 00:21:16,775
It's going to grow up to
three feet inside of me

417
00:21:16,859 --> 00:21:19,486
and then it eats all my food
so that I don't get fat.

418
00:21:19,570 --> 00:21:23,281
And then after three months, I take
some medicine and then I pass it.

419
00:21:23,366 --> 00:21:26,034
Creed sold it to me.
It's from Mexico.

420
00:21:26,494 --> 00:21:28,203
That wasn't a tapeworm.

421
00:21:30,957 --> 00:21:33,249
How's my favorite
branch doing?

422
00:21:37,421 --> 00:21:38,755
All right.

423
00:21:43,719 --> 00:21:45,095
Ronni was...

424
00:21:45,721 --> 00:21:48,306
Things were at
an all-time sad here.

425
00:21:48,391 --> 00:21:49,975
But then I got
an e-mail from Ryan

426
00:21:50,059 --> 00:21:53,353
that he was coming back to town.
And I called the temp agency

427
00:21:53,437 --> 00:21:57,023
and I told them, "I will pay you any
amount. Just give me Ryan Howard.

428
00:21:57,108 --> 00:21:59,609
"Give him to me.
I want him. I need him."

429
00:22:00,069 --> 00:22:01,069
And you got a goatee.
430
00:22:01,153 --> 00:22:02,153
I did.

431
00:22:02,238 --> 00:22:04,906
Did you get that after you
helped me move and you saw mine?

432
00:22:04,991 --> 00:22:07,701
Yes. Goatee!

433
00:22:07,785 --> 00:22:10,578
Fired guy!

434
00:22:10,663 --> 00:22:11,955
Hey, Kevin.

435
00:22:13,040 --> 00:22:14,165
That's really funny.
Yeah.

436
00:22:14,250 --> 00:22:15,875
It's great to see you, Kev.
You, too.

437
00:22:15,960 --> 00:22:18,628
I'm keeping a list of
everyone who wrongs me.

438
00:22:18,713 --> 00:22:21,548
So when I'm back on top,
they'll be sorry.

439
00:22:21,632 --> 00:22:23,049
Kevin just made the list.

440
00:22:23,634 --> 00:22:24,718
Jim!

441
00:22:26,387 --> 00:22:29,931
I want to apologize for how
I treated you last year.

442
00:22:30,016 --> 00:22:34,769
I lost sight of myself and now
that I've quit the rat race,
443
00:22:34,854 --> 00:22:36,187
I realize there's
so much more to life

444
00:22:36,272 --> 00:22:39,232
than being the youngest VP
in the company's history.

445
00:22:39,316 --> 00:22:43,820
I've even started volunteering,
giving back to the community.

446
00:22:43,904 --> 00:22:45,572
That's great.

447
00:22:46,240 --> 00:22:48,533
You're talking about your
court-ordered community service?

448
00:22:48,617 --> 00:22:51,369
I don't need a judge to tell
me to keep my community clean.

449
00:22:51,454 --> 00:22:53,204
But he did, right?

450
00:22:53,289 --> 00:22:55,165
All right.
All right.

451
00:23:00,629 --> 00:23:04,841
Well, you lost zero pounds.
No change.

452
00:23:04,925 --> 00:23:06,551
On the brighter side,
you gained zero pounds.

453
00:23:06,635 --> 00:23:10,221
Hey, you know what? I can't
do this by myself, people!

454
00:23:10,306 --> 00:23:14,059
Kelly and I are the only ones who've
either passed out or almost passed out!

455
00:23:14,143 --> 00:23:15,477
Damn it,
I need these five days

456
00:23:15,561 --> 00:23:17,395
for my honeymoon!
Who is slacking?

457
00:23:17,480 --> 00:23:19,814
Okay, let's just all try
and work harder, okay?

458
00:23:19,899 --> 00:23:21,524
No! I want names!

459
00:23:21,984 --> 00:23:25,987
This is the hardest thing I've
ever had to do in my entire life.

460
00:23:27,198 --> 00:23:29,491
I haven't had
a very hard life.

461
00:23:30,284 --> 00:23:31,409
So how was your date?

462
00:23:31,494 --> 00:23:32,702
8.5.

463
00:23:32,787 --> 00:23:35,080
I got a red wine stain
on my favorite shirt.

464
00:23:35,164 --> 00:23:36,831
But he's cute, right?

465
00:23:38,834 --> 00:23:40,335
What's wrong?

466
00:23:46,842 --> 00:23:48,009
Mmm...

467
00:23:50,721 --> 00:23:51,846
Um...

468
00:23:53,182 --> 00:23:54,682
Close the door.

469
00:23:57,144 --> 00:23:58,770
This is your fault.
No.

470
00:23:58,854 --> 00:24:00,730
Your stupid friend zone.

471
00:24:00,815 --> 00:24:04,609
I should have been lovers with
her first and then friends.

472
00:24:04,693 --> 00:24:07,403
That was terrible advice.
Terrible advice!

473
00:24:07,488 --> 00:24:09,322
You know my seduction method.

474
00:24:09,406 --> 00:24:12,200
I like to get in there
and get my hands dirty.

475
00:24:12,284 --> 00:24:13,785
You sabotaged me.

476
00:24:13,869 --> 00:24:15,328
You sabotaged me, man!

477
00:24:15,913 --> 00:24:18,456
Attention! Attention!

478
00:24:18,541 --> 00:24:20,625
We only have a few weeks left

479
00:24:20,709 --> 00:24:24,337
and most of you are just as
fat as the day we began.

480
00:24:24,421 --> 00:24:26,005
How much weight
have you lost, Dwight?

481
00:24:26,090 --> 00:24:27,173
I am hardly the problem, Jim.
482
00:24:27,258 --> 00:24:28,299
No, you're
definitely the problem.

483
00:24:28,384 --> 00:24:32,971
This is what I'm going to do. I'm
going to randomly select three names

484
00:24:33,055 --> 00:24:36,015
and these three people
will get liposuction.

485
00:24:36,100 --> 00:24:37,642
Um...

486
00:24:37,810 --> 00:24:42,397
Stanley, Phyllis, Kevin. And you will be
responsible for your own medical bills.

487
00:24:44,275 --> 00:24:45,608
Kelly?

488
00:24:45,693 --> 00:24:48,444
Hello, Ryan. You look well.

489
00:24:48,529 --> 00:24:52,323
I wanted to say I'm sorry for treating
you bad the past couple of years.

490
00:24:52,408 --> 00:24:57,245
I was in my mid-20s and I was
going through a lot of stuff.

491
00:24:57,329 --> 00:25:00,456
I think I never
really processed 9/11.

492
00:25:00,583 --> 00:25:02,584
I want you to know
I've changed.

493
00:25:02,668 --> 00:25:03,710
Cool.

494
00:25:03,794 --> 00:25:06,838
We should get a drink
later, catch up.

495
00:25:06,922 --> 00:25:08,256
Pick me up around 8:00?

496
00:25:08,591 --> 00:25:10,800
That is so sweet.

497
00:25:10,885 --> 00:25:15,763
Um, but I'm dating Darryl still and
we're like crazy in love, so...

498
00:25:18,267 --> 00:25:19,350
Cool.

499
00:25:22,521 --> 00:25:24,689
Well, maybe I'll
see you around.

500
00:25:24,773 --> 00:25:26,357
It's a small office.

501
00:25:26,442 --> 00:25:27,567
Yeah.

502
00:25:31,947 --> 00:25:34,616
Hey, Phyllis,
do you have a minute?

503
00:25:34,700 --> 00:25:38,828
Listen, I'm really sorry
about what I said before.

504
00:25:39,288 --> 00:25:40,413
Okay?

505
00:25:40,915 --> 00:25:42,790
I was way out of line.

506
00:25:43,626 --> 00:25:44,792
Yes, you were.

507
00:25:44,877 --> 00:25:47,545
But you know what?
I want to make it up to you.
508
00:25:47,630 --> 00:25:52,050
There is a surefire sale, but
it's a two-man job. Interested?

509
00:25:55,137 --> 00:25:56,930
Split the commission?

510
00:25:58,807 --> 00:26:00,225
Sixty-forty.

511
00:26:02,895 --> 00:26:04,270
I'll drive.

512
00:26:20,287 --> 00:26:23,623
Dieting is only half of it.
Mmm-hmm. Saunas.

513
00:26:23,707 --> 00:26:25,250
And exercise.

514
00:26:25,334 --> 00:26:28,211
Although I know everybody
loves going to the gym.

515
00:26:28,295 --> 00:26:29,879
The dreadmill.

516
00:26:31,215 --> 00:26:36,261
Probably the weirdest thing about Pam
being gone will be lunch, actually.

517
00:26:36,345 --> 00:26:39,514
But it will force me
to become acquaintances

518
00:26:39,598 --> 00:26:42,517
with people I
consider co-workers.

519
00:26:44,186 --> 00:26:45,353
Oh, my God.

520
00:26:45,437 --> 00:26:48,106
Okay, everybody just act normal.
Don't say anything.
521
00:26:48,190 --> 00:26:49,148
What?

522
00:26:49,233 --> 00:26:51,359
My ex-girlfriend,
she's right behind you.

523
00:26:51,443 --> 00:26:52,944
Really? Where?
Just hide me.

524
00:26:53,028 --> 00:26:54,737
No, no, don't look.

525
00:26:56,115 --> 00:26:58,157
Wow, was it
the age difference?

526
00:26:58,242 --> 00:26:59,659
Actually, kind of, yes.

527
00:26:59,743 --> 00:27:02,287
I just didn't like
eating dinner that early.

528
00:27:06,041 --> 00:27:09,294
Hey, Jim. Listen, can I call
you back in a little bit?

529
00:27:09,378 --> 00:27:10,962
I made friends.

530
00:27:15,092 --> 00:27:16,634
Are you insane?
Hey, hey.

531
00:27:16,719 --> 00:27:17,844
What happened?

532
00:27:17,928 --> 00:27:19,387
There was no client.

533
00:27:19,471 --> 00:27:21,889
Dwight drove me to an abandoned
warehouse five miles away
534
00:27:21,974 --> 00:27:24,267
and pushed me out of the car.

535
00:27:24,351 --> 00:27:26,978
I had to walk home
with no money and no phone.

536
00:27:27,062 --> 00:27:30,064
And you burned over a thousand
calories walking home,

537
00:27:30,149 --> 00:27:34,485
and this branch just got a little
bit closer to winning the contest.

538
00:27:34,570 --> 00:27:35,987
Phyllis Vance,
ladies and gentlemen.

539
00:27:36,071 --> 00:27:38,698
You left me in
a bad part of town.

540
00:27:38,782 --> 00:27:42,076
Yeah, I took your purse.
What are you worried about?

541
00:27:42,995 --> 00:27:44,996
You look great.

542
00:27:45,080 --> 00:27:47,540
I can definitely
see the difference.

543
00:27:47,708 --> 00:27:49,751
Phyllis Vance
for David Wallace.

544
00:27:52,838 --> 00:27:54,464
"Dunder Mifflin
wants to make it clear

545
00:27:54,548 --> 00:27:57,008
"that Dunder Mifflin
does not discriminate
546
00:27:57,092 --> 00:27:59,552
"nor does it condone
unhealthy dieting habits

547
00:27:59,636 --> 00:28:01,679
"or extreme
weight loss strategies,

548
00:28:01,764 --> 00:28:03,681
"as was clearly
stated in the official..."

549
00:28:03,766 --> 00:28:07,685
Oh, bang, boom,
shake, klump!

550
00:28:07,770 --> 00:28:10,688
Why, hello, everybody.

551
00:28:11,231 --> 00:28:13,316
What are you doing?
Fair question.

552
00:28:13,400 --> 00:28:16,778
I say, I say,
I say, sit down, Holly!

553
00:28:17,446 --> 00:28:19,322
I'll take it from here.

554
00:28:20,115 --> 00:28:22,950
I am beautiful.

555
00:28:25,829 --> 00:28:28,414
They are beautiful.

556
00:28:29,792 --> 00:28:36,589
He is beautiful. This big
fat pig is beautiful.

557
00:28:37,466 --> 00:28:39,217
It's my sumo suit.

558
00:28:39,301 --> 00:28:40,593
I just didn't
inflate it all the way.
559
00:28:40,677 --> 00:28:44,764
I'm so glad that
I bought instead of rented.

560
00:28:45,474 --> 00:28:46,849
Body image.

561
00:28:47,935 --> 00:28:50,937
We are here because there is
something wrong with society.

562
00:28:51,021 --> 00:28:53,314
See, you're always saying there's
something wrong with society,

563
00:28:53,399 --> 00:28:55,441
but maybe there's
something wrong with you.

564
00:28:55,526 --> 00:28:58,236
If it's me, then society
made me that way.

565
00:28:58,320 --> 00:29:00,238
Now, I know a lot of you are
probably asking yourself,

566
00:29:00,322 --> 00:29:03,825
"Why are you dressed
in a plus-size suit?"

567
00:29:03,909 --> 00:29:06,077
Because you're kind of doing
Michael Klump.

568
00:29:06,161 --> 00:29:07,412
How do you know
Michael Klump?

569
00:29:07,496 --> 00:29:09,539
Because it's your "making fun
of fat people" character.

570
00:29:09,623 --> 00:29:11,082
How dare you!
571
00:29:11,166 --> 00:29:14,377
Michael Klump is a
celebration of fat people.

572
00:29:14,461 --> 00:29:17,088
I think of him as
more like a monster.

573
00:29:17,172 --> 00:29:19,841
What about, "I say, I say,
I say, I'll sit on you"?

574
00:29:19,925 --> 00:29:23,636
No, no. It goes... Look. "I say,
I say, I say, I'll sit on you."

575
00:29:23,720 --> 00:29:25,513
No! No! No! No! No!
You know what?

576
00:29:25,639 --> 00:29:29,100
Fat people are not monsters.

577
00:29:29,184 --> 00:29:33,062
Why don't you guys have a little
more sensitivity to the subject?

578
00:29:33,147 --> 00:29:35,273
Bang, boom, case in point.

579
00:29:35,357 --> 00:29:36,732
Look at the outside
of this building.

580
00:29:36,817 --> 00:29:38,109
It is ugly.

581
00:29:38,193 --> 00:29:41,737
But you come inside
and it is beautiful.

582
00:29:43,198 --> 00:29:46,075
Just like this
unappealing fat suit.

583
00:29:46,160 --> 00:29:50,746
Inside is a rather
handsome, sexy man.

584
00:29:50,831 --> 00:29:51,831
Vamping.

585
00:29:51,915 --> 00:29:54,333
Hey, why don't you
just sit down, please?

586
00:29:54,418 --> 00:29:55,460
I've been sitting all day.

587
00:29:55,544 --> 00:29:56,836
We're doing this
because of you.

588
00:29:56,920 --> 00:29:59,922
So why don't you just
go stand somewhere else?

589
00:30:01,175 --> 00:30:03,634
Hey, hey, shaved?

590
00:30:03,719 --> 00:30:05,553
I did.
Why?

591
00:30:08,599 --> 00:30:10,892
So in the year 2000,

592
00:30:10,976 --> 00:30:15,855
fungus and even black mold was
discovered growing in the cave.

593
00:30:15,939 --> 00:30:18,024
Some blame it on the new
air conditioning system

594
00:30:18,108 --> 00:30:21,360
that was installed, some on
the high-powered lights.

595
00:30:21,445 --> 00:30:23,654
Others feel that fungus
is due to an overgrowth...
596
00:30:25,908 --> 00:30:27,825
Nice.
Quiet, please.

597
00:30:27,910 --> 00:30:29,410
Sorry.
Sorry.

598
00:30:29,745 --> 00:30:32,455
Dwight, I would like
you to apologize

599
00:30:32,539 --> 00:30:34,457
to this beautiful,
beautiful woman

600
00:30:34,541 --> 00:30:36,000
for forcing her
to walk five miles,

601
00:30:36,084 --> 00:30:38,503
which, for her, is
basically a death march.

602
00:30:38,629 --> 00:30:41,839
She should thank me. Okay,
Phyllis, thank Dwight first.

603
00:30:41,924 --> 00:30:43,341
Why should I
have to thank him?

604
00:30:43,425 --> 00:30:44,842
You're right. You're right!
Just... Dwight, do it.

605
00:30:44,927 --> 00:30:46,135
Just say it, okay?

606
00:30:46,220 --> 00:30:49,639
I apologize for creating a ruse
which forced you to exercise.

607
00:30:49,723 --> 00:30:52,350
Finally. Right? Okay.

608
00:30:52,434 --> 00:30:54,852
Phyllis, you must be exhausted
from standing on those gams.

609
00:30:54,937 --> 00:30:57,522
Why don't you have a seat?
Let's all clap at Phyllis.

610
00:30:57,606 --> 00:31:03,110
Okay! Michael Klump wants to
remind you that corporate,

611
00:31:04,112 --> 00:31:07,156
their idea, yes, was to
urge you to lose weight.

612
00:31:07,241 --> 00:31:09,659
But more importantly, what
this whole thing is about,

613
00:31:09,743 --> 00:31:12,286
this contest is
really about being healthy.

614
00:31:12,371 --> 00:31:16,582
And in order to be healthy, you
have to eat. Kelly. Kelly...

615
00:31:19,878 --> 00:31:22,755
Kelly, I want you to
stand up on your chair.

616
00:31:22,839 --> 00:31:24,423
Come on. Stand up on
your chair. Stand up.

617
00:31:24,508 --> 00:31:27,552
Stand up. Stand up.
Somebody help her.

618
00:31:27,636 --> 00:31:30,513
Here we go. Okay.
I want you to look at her.

619
00:31:30,597 --> 00:31:33,266
She's a beautiful
Indian woman.
620
00:31:33,350 --> 00:31:35,309
Why? What makes
her beautiful?

621
00:31:35,394 --> 00:31:37,937
Everything. She's perfect.

622
00:31:38,021 --> 00:31:39,021
I like her nails.

623
00:31:39,106 --> 00:31:40,273
Okay, be more specific.

624
00:31:40,357 --> 00:31:41,899
I like her fingernails.

625
00:31:41,984 --> 00:31:43,401
I like her purple dress.

626
00:31:43,485 --> 00:31:44,777
What about her looks?

627
00:31:44,861 --> 00:31:46,153
Hell of an ass.

628
00:31:47,281 --> 00:31:48,656
What else do people like?

629
00:31:49,324 --> 00:31:51,826
I wonder what
people like about me.

630
00:31:53,787 --> 00:31:55,288
Probably my jugs.

631
00:31:55,747 --> 00:31:58,207
Kelly, will you just agree
to stop this madness

632
00:31:58,292 --> 00:32:00,793
and stop trying
to kill yourself?

633
00:32:00,877 --> 00:32:02,962
I hate dieting.
I hate it so much.

634
00:32:03,046 --> 00:32:05,089
I hate this
worm inside of me.

635
00:32:05,173 --> 00:32:07,842
I want you to know...
Kelly, look at me.

636
00:32:07,926 --> 00:32:10,511
I want you to know
that you are beautiful.

637
00:32:10,596 --> 00:32:12,430
You are truly,
truly beautiful.

638
00:32:13,307 --> 00:32:14,807
Give me a hug.

639
00:32:16,935 --> 00:32:18,060
Mmm...

640
00:32:18,895 --> 00:32:19,979
Summer's going great.

641
00:32:20,063 --> 00:32:22,773
Just spent two hours
listening to Michael Klump.

642
00:32:22,858 --> 00:32:26,736
I have a weird pain in my left side
that I'm convinced is an ulcer.

643
00:32:26,820 --> 00:32:28,195
My girlfriend
lives in New York,

644
00:32:28,280 --> 00:32:31,073
and I haven't
seen her in 10 days.

645
00:32:31,158 --> 00:32:32,575
How's your summer?

646
00:32:40,626 --> 00:32:43,127
Hey, Ryan, look.
Shaved off my goatee.

647
00:32:43,211 --> 00:32:46,380
I am goatee-less. We are
the goatee-less brothers.

648
00:32:47,549 --> 00:32:48,591
Yep.

649
00:32:51,053 --> 00:32:52,386
How was Friday night?

650
00:32:52,471 --> 00:32:54,180
Oh, I had a good time.

651
00:32:54,264 --> 00:32:57,183
But it's been
three days and no call.

652
00:32:58,101 --> 00:33:01,604
I even have two tickets to see
Counting Crows for tonight, so...

653
00:33:01,688 --> 00:33:02,647
He'll call.

654
00:33:02,731 --> 00:33:04,315
Oscar, enough of
the girl talk, please.

655
00:33:05,859 --> 00:33:07,735
You guys lost four pounds. Hey.

656
00:33:07,819 --> 00:33:08,986
I say we have a parade.

657
00:33:09,071 --> 00:33:10,363
- Excellent.
- We better.

658
00:33:10,447 --> 00:33:11,447
Good job.

659
00:33:11,698 --> 00:33:15,368
So, as it turns out, tonight
is my nephew's tee ball game

660
00:33:15,452 --> 00:33:18,037
and I kind of missed
the first three, so...

661
00:33:18,121 --> 00:33:19,664
You've already
disappointed him so much.

662
00:33:19,748 --> 00:33:21,540
He can't be expecting
a lot from you.

663
00:33:21,625 --> 00:33:22,917
I know. I suck.

664
00:33:23,001 --> 00:33:24,251
Yes, you do.

665
00:33:24,378 --> 00:33:25,336
Dwight says hi.

666
00:33:25,420 --> 00:33:28,089
I do not.
I do not say hi, Pam.

667
00:33:28,173 --> 00:33:29,340
He's saying hi louder.

668
00:33:29,424 --> 00:33:32,385
All right, listen, we're still
good for this weekend, right?

669
00:33:32,469 --> 00:33:35,596
No tee ball games, recitals,
karate tournaments.

670
00:33:37,432 --> 00:33:39,183
Hey, can you go to IM?
Okay.

671
00:33:39,267 --> 00:33:40,351
Okay.

672
00:33:46,566 --> 00:33:48,776
What are you
writing about me?

673
00:33:59,621 --> 00:34:01,914
I'm going to write you
both up for not working.

674
00:34:01,998 --> 00:34:03,708
I'm going to write
you up for not working.

675
00:34:05,836 --> 00:34:07,503
Okay. Well played.

676
00:34:08,630 --> 00:34:12,091
Neither of us will write the
other up for not working.

677
00:34:37,993 --> 00:34:41,162
Yeah? Oh, hey.
Did he call?

678
00:34:41,288 --> 00:34:43,372
I just got... Kendall? I
just got off... No, no.

679
00:34:43,457 --> 00:34:46,542
Did... I heard you talking
to Oscar about that guy.

680
00:34:46,626 --> 00:34:47,918
What... What happened?
Did he call?

681
00:34:48,003 --> 00:34:49,211
Oh. No.

682
00:34:49,296 --> 00:34:50,755
Really?
No.

683
00:34:50,839 --> 00:34:52,381
And you know what?
I even got two tickets

684
00:34:52,466 --> 00:34:54,967
to see the Counting Crows
tonight as a surprise.

685
00:34:55,051 --> 00:34:57,261
Why do guys not call when they
say they're going to call?

686
00:34:57,345 --> 00:35:01,432
I don't know. I always call
everybody back right away.

687
00:35:01,516 --> 00:35:02,558
But he'll call back, though.

688
00:35:02,642 --> 00:35:03,768
Give him until
the end of the day.

689
00:35:03,852 --> 00:35:04,935
He'll call. He'll call.

690
00:35:05,020 --> 00:35:08,022
If he doesn't, he is loco.

691
00:35:08,106 --> 00:35:10,274
Thanks. That's sweet.

692
00:35:10,358 --> 00:35:15,738
Anyways, it seems like we lost
to Utica by only eight pounds.

693
00:35:17,032 --> 00:35:19,116
Well, at least
everyone lost weight.

694
00:35:19,201 --> 00:35:20,743
That's all that
really matters.

695
00:35:20,827 --> 00:35:23,746
Wait, could we have
till the end of the day?

696
00:35:24,706 --> 00:35:27,792
So we're only eight
pounds behind Utica.
697
00:35:27,876 --> 00:35:29,168
Now, I know it's a stretch,

698
00:35:29,252 --> 00:35:32,379
but we could weigh ourselves
again at the end of the day

699
00:35:32,464 --> 00:35:34,173
and maybe win
this thing after all.

700
00:35:34,257 --> 00:35:35,841
Leave it to me, boss.

701
00:35:35,926 --> 00:35:38,594
I can get this whole
office to make weight.

702
00:35:44,518 --> 00:35:47,269
It's going to be
a little toasty in here.

703
00:35:48,063 --> 00:35:49,730
Good old-fashioned
sweat lodge.

704
00:35:49,981 --> 00:35:51,649
Andy Bernard does
not lose contests.

705
00:35:51,733 --> 00:35:53,484
He wins them.

706
00:35:53,568 --> 00:35:56,320
Or he quits them
because they're unfair.

707
00:36:01,368 --> 00:36:03,911
Hey, is that healthy food?

708
00:36:03,995 --> 00:36:04,995
Nope.

709
00:36:05,080 --> 00:36:08,249
We're trying to win a contest
here, Kelly. Please.
710
00:36:08,333 --> 00:36:10,292
Hey, Michael, I just scheduled
lunch with a client,

711
00:36:10,377 --> 00:36:11,752
so I might be back
a little late.

712
00:36:11,837 --> 00:36:14,505
Okay, that is fine.

713
00:36:14,589 --> 00:36:16,549
Just water and be back by weigh-in.
Okay?

714
00:36:16,633 --> 00:36:17,842
Perfect.

715
00:36:24,933 --> 00:36:27,518
I hate to even ask because
you've been so accommodating

716
00:36:27,644 --> 00:36:31,272
about all the wedding stuff...
Your wish is my command.

717
00:36:31,940 --> 00:36:35,818
Is there any way our first dance
can be to my favorite song?

718
00:36:35,902 --> 00:36:38,153
The Little Drummer Boy.

719
00:36:38,238 --> 00:36:39,321
Of course.

720
00:36:39,406 --> 00:36:41,949
Really? Yeah! I mean,
it's a great song.

721
00:36:42,033 --> 00:36:43,701
I always thought it was
bigger than Christmas,

722
00:36:43,785 --> 00:36:45,369
anyway, you know?
Mmm-hmm.

723
00:36:45,453 --> 00:36:46,704
And you know what?
The guys already know it,

724
00:36:46,788 --> 00:36:47,872
so it's easy breezy.

725
00:36:47,956 --> 00:36:49,206
The guys?

726
00:36:50,125 --> 00:36:51,876
I didn't tell you.

727
00:36:51,960 --> 00:36:53,836
Here Comes Treble,
class of '96,

728
00:36:53,920 --> 00:36:55,379
was available
for our big day,

729
00:36:55,463 --> 00:36:57,965
so I booked them.

730
00:36:58,049 --> 00:36:59,049
I don't think that...

731
00:36:59,134 --> 00:37:01,385
And they're collectively
my best man.

732
00:37:01,469 --> 00:37:05,931
And they're crashing with us for three
weeks, so it totally works out.

733
00:37:06,016 --> 00:37:08,726
I don't know if I want your
old college a cappella group

734
00:37:08,810 --> 00:37:10,853
to be our wedding band.

735
00:37:15,442 --> 00:37:19,612
Okay, I hear you, sweetheart,
but this is a deal breaker.

736
00:37:24,326 --> 00:37:26,619
But you know what? You're
going to love these guys.

737
00:37:26,703 --> 00:37:32,082
Carl I, Carl II, Broccoli Rob,
Spare Rib, Doobie, Lunchbox.

738
00:37:32,167 --> 00:37:34,293
Boner Champ, that's me,

739
00:37:34,377 --> 00:37:38,839
Pubey Lewis and the News,
Hopscotch, Jingle Jangle, Sandwich.

740
00:37:39,841 --> 00:37:42,551
These are the best best men
a guy could ever hope for.

741
00:37:44,179 --> 00:37:46,555
Let's talk about
this later. Okay.

742
00:38:08,370 --> 00:38:11,956
Hey, this is not halfway.

743
00:38:12,040 --> 00:38:15,542
I did the math. I had to
drive way longer than you.

744
00:38:15,627 --> 00:38:19,338
Montclair would have been closer,
so you have to buy lunch.

745
00:38:21,299 --> 00:38:23,050
What are you doing?

746
00:38:23,635 --> 00:38:26,720
I just can't wait.

747
00:38:26,805 --> 00:38:28,097
Oh, my God.

748
00:38:31,434 --> 00:38:33,477
Pam, will you marry me?

749
00:38:33,561 --> 00:38:34,853
Oh, my God!

750
00:38:37,649 --> 00:38:38,691
So?

751
00:38:40,068 --> 00:38:41,110
Yes.

752
00:38:52,038 --> 00:38:55,040
God! Where is Jim?

753
00:38:55,125 --> 00:38:56,709
I'm calling it.

754
00:38:56,793 --> 00:38:59,294
I guess that's curtains
for the yoga guy.

755
00:38:59,379 --> 00:39:00,337
Oh, really?

756
00:39:00,422 --> 00:39:01,422
Yeah.

757
00:39:01,506 --> 00:39:04,174
I have to say, I think the
problem with that whole thing...

758
00:39:04,259 --> 00:39:05,259
Yeah?

759
00:39:05,343 --> 00:39:07,511
...was that he was
a complete stupid idiot.

760
00:39:09,055 --> 00:39:10,681
Oh, man, I really
wanted to see them.

761
00:39:10,765 --> 00:39:11,807
I know.
762
00:39:11,891 --> 00:39:13,183
I love...
I love Counting Crows.

763
00:39:13,268 --> 00:39:15,227
Look where my seats were.

764
00:39:15,311 --> 00:39:17,021
Wow! Really?
Yeah.

765
00:39:17,105 --> 00:39:18,439
That's a shame.

766
00:39:19,315 --> 00:39:21,859
Shame to waste these.

767
00:39:23,278 --> 00:39:25,446
I want to buy them from you.

768
00:39:27,240 --> 00:39:29,158
Michael, you don't have to buy them.
I do. No...

769
00:39:29,242 --> 00:39:32,786
I do. I... I want to.
Trust me, I really do.

770
00:39:34,456 --> 00:39:35,539
Okay.

771
00:39:35,623 --> 00:39:37,374
Okay?
Yeah.

772
00:39:37,459 --> 00:39:38,751
All right.

773
00:39:39,878 --> 00:39:41,211
All right.

774
00:39:44,132 --> 00:39:49,136
Just... I want you to just forget
about him, okay? Case closed.

775
00:39:51,639 --> 00:39:52,765
Can I pay you tomorrow?

776
00:39:52,849 --> 00:39:55,726
I have like a $60
limit on my ATM, so...

777
00:39:55,810 --> 00:39:58,020
Yeah.
Is that good?

778
00:39:58,104 --> 00:39:59,104
Hey. Sorry, everybody.

779
00:39:59,189 --> 00:40:00,189
Hey, what are you
smiling about there,

780
00:40:00,273 --> 00:40:02,524
smiley pants?
You're late.

781
00:40:02,609 --> 00:40:03,859
Wet Tuna.

782
00:40:04,819 --> 00:40:06,278
- Hey, Dwight.
- Okay.

783
00:40:06,362 --> 00:40:07,571
What's up, Meredith?
Nothing.

784
00:40:07,655 --> 00:40:08,655
You're dripping on me.

785
00:40:08,740 --> 00:40:10,157
Darryl,
would you do the honors?

786
00:40:10,241 --> 00:40:11,950
2,175.

787
00:40:13,119 --> 00:40:14,369
Sorry, guys.
No, no, no. No, no.
788
00:40:14,454 --> 00:40:15,996
I don't want to hear moaning.

789
00:40:16,081 --> 00:40:17,456
This is a good day.

790
00:40:17,540 --> 00:40:20,125
You guys accomplished
something big.

791
00:40:20,210 --> 00:40:24,338
You lost a ton of weight,
literally, a lot of weight.

792
00:40:24,923 --> 00:40:26,840
And I don't care what
any stupid scale says,

793
00:40:26,925 --> 00:40:29,676
you guys are all
gigantic losers.

794
00:40:31,179 --> 00:40:32,930
I don't know
about anyone else,

795
00:40:33,014 --> 00:40:34,765
but it was
a good summer for me.

796
00:40:34,849 --> 00:40:37,101
I lost seven pounds.

797
00:40:37,185 --> 00:40:38,560
And you know what?

798
00:40:38,645 --> 00:40:41,688
I'm just going to take
five days off anyway.

799
00:40:58,832 --> 00:41:02,751
I went zip lining my
third day in Costa Rica.

800
00:41:02,836 --> 00:41:06,880
I guess the harness wasn't
strapped in exactly right.

801
00:41:06,965 --> 00:41:10,050
I broke my neck. And...

802
00:41:11,553 --> 00:41:14,388
I've been in the hospital
five weeks now.

803
00:41:16,057 --> 00:41:18,392
I still haven't
seen the beach.

804
00:41:20,270 --> 00:41:22,396
It's nice to have visitors.