1

00:00:01,085 --> 00:00:03,586

Michael, since it is your fifteenth
anniversary at the company,

2
00:00:03,671 --> 00:00:05,963
I thought it might be appropriate
to begin the festivities

3
00:00:06,048 --> 00:00:08,966
with a 15-minute
round of applause.

4
00:00:09,093 --> 00:00:10,051
I like it.

5
00:00:10,135 --> 00:00:13,221
Followed by a 15-minute
moment of silence.

6
00:00:13,430 --> 00:00:14,931
I don't know.

7
00:00:15,599 --> 00:00:16,599
Is it classy enough?

8
00:00:16,684 --> 00:00:19,227
Jim, enough with
the classy, okay?

9
00:00:19,311 --> 00:00:22,188
I just feel like after 15
years at this company...

10
00:00:22,272 --> 00:00:23,314
Bravo, by the way.

11
00:00:23,399 --> 00:00:26,859
That we should celebrate with a very
classy event, a night to remember.

12
00:00:26,944 --> 00:00:27,944
I think you're right.

13
00:00:28,028 --> 00:00:30,780
This party has to have
all the excitement, drama
14
00:00:30,864 --> 00:00:33,074
and intrigue of my time here.

15
00:00:33,158 --> 00:00:34,701
And, of course, classy.

16
00:00:34,785 --> 00:00:35,952
And classy, yeah.

17
00:00:36,036 --> 00:00:38,705
Michael, you're just agreeing with
him 'cause he's wearing a tux.

18
00:00:38,789 --> 00:00:40,039
Don't you see
what he's doing here?

19
00:00:40,124 --> 00:00:42,583
Last week, Dwight sent out a
memo about the dress code.

20
00:00:42,668 --> 00:00:46,462
So, this is me showing him that
I'm taking it very seriously.

21
00:00:46,797 --> 00:00:51,134
Oh! Here's one. A string quartet
playing classical music.

22
00:00:55,806 --> 00:00:59,809
You know, that's good, but it's not classy.
I need something

23
00:01:00,602 --> 00:01:03,146
classy, like the opening
of a car dealership.

24
00:01:03,230 --> 00:01:04,313
That's it.

25
00:01:04,398 --> 00:01:05,773
Or Mr. Peanut.
Yes.

26
00:01:05,858 --> 00:01:07,567
Mr. Peanut is not classy.
He is.

27
00:01:07,651 --> 00:01:09,152
He is a regular peanut.

28
00:01:09,236 --> 00:01:11,446
He just happens to have a cane,
a monocle and a top hat.

29
00:01:11,530 --> 00:01:12,864
That's what
makes him classy.

30
00:01:12,948 --> 00:01:14,073
Okay,
how about this?

31
00:01:14,158 --> 00:01:15,742
An ice sculpture
shaped like you

32
00:01:15,826 --> 00:01:18,035
covered in chocolate-covered
strawberries.

33
00:01:18,704 --> 00:01:21,164
Dwight, you're trying too hard,
and that's just not classy.

34
00:01:21,248 --> 00:01:23,875
See, the thing about classy
is, it's a state of mind.

35
00:01:23,959 --> 00:01:26,669
Well, I'm sorry. I just don't
know what classy is, then.

36
00:01:26,754 --> 00:01:28,421
Okay, let's just try
this one on for size,

37
00:01:28,505 --> 00:01:31,174
and I apologize, 'cause it's
right off the top of my head.

38
00:01:31,258 --> 00:01:34,385
An ice sculpture of you
completely surrounded

39
00:01:34,470 --> 00:01:36,387
by a variety of
chocolate-covered fruits.

40
00:01:36,472 --> 00:01:37,597
Strawberries?

41
00:01:37,681 --> 00:01:38,681
That's inspired.

42
00:01:38,766 --> 00:01:39,932
I said that!

43
00:01:43,020 --> 00:01:44,020
Not classy.

44
00:01:44,104 --> 00:01:45,438
Not classy at all.

45
00:01:45,522 --> 00:01:47,315
Déclassé.
French!

46
00:01:48,108 --> 00:01:49,317
Classy.

47
00:02:15,385 --> 00:02:16,594
Hi, can I help you?

48
00:02:16,678 --> 00:02:19,514
Yeah, I'm Charles Miner,
here to see Michael Scott.

49
00:02:19,598 --> 00:02:22,517
Sure, just one second,
please. Have a seat.

50
00:02:24,269 --> 00:02:25,269
Yes?
Michael,

51
00:02:25,354 --> 00:02:26,521
there's a Charles Miner
here to see you.

52
00:02:26,605 --> 00:02:29,565
Miner? I hardly know her!

53
00:02:31,735 --> 00:02:32,693
Hello?

54
00:02:32,778 --> 00:02:33,820
Yeah, are you
coming out now?

55
00:02:33,904 --> 00:02:34,904
Uh-huh.

56
00:02:36,114 --> 00:02:38,658
Well, well, well,
who have we here?

57
00:02:39,201 --> 00:02:41,285
It is Prince
Charles Miner!

58
00:02:41,912 --> 00:02:47,083
At your service. Everybody,
this is Sir Charles Miner,

59
00:02:47,459 --> 00:02:50,503
and he is the new VP
for the Northeast region,

60
00:02:50,587 --> 00:02:52,672
so just give it up
for this big guy, right?

61
00:02:52,756 --> 00:02:53,840
Give it up!

62
00:02:53,924 --> 00:02:55,007
Here he is.
There he is.

63
00:02:55,092 --> 00:02:56,175
Hey. Hi.

64
00:02:56,260 --> 00:02:57,343
Hi, everyone...

65
00:02:57,427 --> 00:02:58,427
Wow! Hold that thought.

66
00:02:58,512 --> 00:03:01,305
You know what? I want everybody
to go into the break room.

67
00:03:01,390 --> 00:03:02,765
I have a little
surprise for you.

68
00:03:02,850 --> 00:03:04,100
Go ahead. You, too.

69
00:03:04,184 --> 00:03:06,519
Dwight, would you escort
our guest in there?

70
00:03:06,603 --> 00:03:08,145
Come on. Here we go.
Don't be shy.

71
00:03:08,230 --> 00:03:10,022
Don't be shy,
you're one of us.

72
00:03:10,107 --> 00:03:12,567
Dwight, stall him a little bit.
I have to get the fish.

73
00:03:12,651 --> 00:03:13,985
Hey.
Yes?

74
00:03:15,571 --> 00:03:17,530
Really wish you would've told me
the new boss was coming today.

75
00:03:17,614 --> 00:03:19,824
What? No! I didn't want to
make everybody nervous.

76
00:03:19,908 --> 00:03:22,410
No, I mean I could've brought
a change of clothes, or...
77
00:03:22,494 --> 00:03:23,536
You look dynamite.

78
00:03:23,620 --> 00:03:24,787
What are you
talking about?

79
00:03:24,872 --> 00:03:27,498
Very slick. Okay,
let me get the fish.

80
00:03:28,584 --> 00:03:30,626
Originally founded in 1866,

81
00:03:30,711 --> 00:03:32,795
Scranton quickly became
one of Pennsylvania's

82
00:03:32,880 --> 00:03:35,381
largest anthracite
coalmining communities.

83
00:03:35,465 --> 00:03:38,009
Surprise!
There's nothing in here.

84
00:03:38,093 --> 00:03:40,261
The real surprise is
in the conference room.

85
00:03:40,345 --> 00:03:41,637
Let's go!

86
00:03:41,722 --> 00:03:43,806
God! Okay, come on!
Come on!

87
00:03:43,891 --> 00:03:47,560
I'll finish it up later, but essentially
what we're talking about is...

88
00:03:48,020 --> 00:03:49,562
Surprise!

89
00:03:50,981 --> 00:03:53,941
As you can see,
I turned the bagels

90
00:03:54,026 --> 00:03:55,902
from O's into C's,
for Charles.

91
00:03:57,446 --> 00:03:59,155
Thank you.
Took me all night.

92
00:03:59,239 --> 00:04:00,740
This is what you
did last night?

93
00:04:00,824 --> 00:04:02,617
I met this guy at
corporate last week,

94
00:04:02,701 --> 00:04:05,786
and we were just
digging each other's vibe.

95
00:04:05,871 --> 00:04:08,581
I was totally grooving
on him, and vice versa.

96
00:04:08,665 --> 00:04:11,042
And besides, the last two
people to have his job

97
00:04:11,126 --> 00:04:12,543
were Jan and Ryan.

98
00:04:12,628 --> 00:04:17,548
The former was my lover, and the
latter my best friend, so who knows?

99
00:04:18,842 --> 00:04:20,259
I do.

100
00:04:20,344 --> 00:04:22,053
It's gonna be mental!

101
00:04:23,847 --> 00:04:25,848
It's going to be mental.
102
00:04:27,184 --> 00:04:30,019
Oh, my God, he's like
a black George Clooney.

103
00:04:30,103 --> 00:04:32,021
Really?
I don't see it.

104
00:04:32,439 --> 00:04:36,400
I mean, he's okay. He's
not unattractive, he's...

105
00:04:36,526 --> 00:04:37,610
Hey, how you doing?

106
00:04:37,694 --> 00:04:38,778
I'm Jim Halpert,
from sales.

107
00:04:38,862 --> 00:04:39,987
Hey.
Just wanted to say,

108
00:04:40,072 --> 00:04:42,531
if you need anything,
let me know.

109
00:04:42,699 --> 00:04:44,909
Why are you
wearing a tuxedo?

110
00:04:44,993 --> 00:04:47,119
I didn't think you'd notice.

111
00:04:47,829 --> 00:04:49,914
It's funny, actually. There's
another salesman out here,

112
00:04:49,998 --> 00:04:52,667
Dwight Schrute, he sent out
this memo, as he always does,

113
00:04:52,751 --> 00:04:55,169
and it was about professionalism
in the workplace,

114
00:04:55,253 --> 00:04:56,963
and of course
he singled me out.

115
00:04:57,047 --> 00:04:59,256
So I just had
to mess with him.

116
00:05:01,426 --> 00:05:02,718
You'd understand if
you read the memo,

117
00:05:02,844 --> 00:05:04,095
which I should
probably get you.

118
00:05:04,179 --> 00:05:06,806
There's probably
one in the drawer.

119
00:05:06,890 --> 00:05:08,391
It was pretty crazy.

120
00:05:08,475 --> 00:05:09,642
But...

121
00:05:10,394 --> 00:05:12,687
Not more crazy than
wearing a tux at work.

122
00:05:12,771 --> 00:05:14,981
I'll grant you that,
so I'm gonna...

123
00:05:15,065 --> 00:05:16,732
Your name's Jim?
Jim Halpert, yep,

124
00:05:16,817 --> 00:05:19,735
so just gonna let you
get back to it, so...

125
00:05:20,612 --> 00:05:22,446
He just had to
wear his tux today.

126
00:05:22,531 --> 00:05:23,614
I thought I'd be funny.

127
00:05:23,699 --> 00:05:26,075
Took him 40 minutes
to get ready.

128
00:05:28,704 --> 00:05:31,163
All right, let me introduce
you to some of the troops.

129
00:05:31,248 --> 00:05:33,165
Accounting,
front and center.

130
00:05:33,250 --> 00:05:36,085
Come on up here. I'd like
you to meet somebody.

131
00:05:36,169 --> 00:05:37,670
This is
the accounting department.

132
00:05:37,754 --> 00:05:39,463
Hey. I come
from accounting, too.

133
00:05:39,923 --> 00:05:40,965
Nerd alert!

134
00:05:41,049 --> 00:05:45,428
This is Oscar Martinez.
He is Latino,

135
00:05:45,971 --> 00:05:50,057
and he just got out of a long-term
relationship with a man, Gil,

136
00:05:50,142 --> 00:05:53,019
who broke his heart, but he didn't
bring any of that into work,

137
00:05:53,103 --> 00:05:55,271
it did not affect his job
performance whatsoever,

138
00:05:55,355 --> 00:05:57,106
and I am very proud of him
139
00:05:57,190 --> 00:05:58,190
for that.

140
00:05:58,275 --> 00:05:59,775
Hey, Oscar,
it's good to meet you. Good.

141
00:05:59,860 --> 00:06:03,487
This little hell-raiser
is Angela.

142
00:06:03,613 --> 00:06:06,741
She has slept with a bunch of
different guys in the office.

143
00:06:06,825 --> 00:06:09,076
The one over there,
in the orange.

144
00:06:09,161 --> 00:06:10,369
Heyo!

145
00:06:10,454 --> 00:06:11,954
Heyo.
Where's the other...

146
00:06:12,039 --> 00:06:14,623
You know, Michael, I don't need to
know everyone's sexual history.

147
00:06:14,708 --> 00:06:17,918
Well, perfect, because we
have now arrived at Kevin,

148
00:06:18,003 --> 00:06:19,545
and he
has no sexual history.

149
00:06:19,629 --> 00:06:20,671
Hey!

150
00:06:20,756 --> 00:06:22,965
How about I just say hi
to everyone at one time?

151
00:06:23,050 --> 00:06:24,300
Good! Good, good, good.

152
00:06:24,384 --> 00:06:27,344
Everyone please give
it up for Charles Miner.

153
00:06:27,804 --> 00:06:31,223
Thank you, Michael. Thank you
for the C-shaped bagels.

154
00:06:31,558 --> 00:06:33,726
Well... Above and beyond.
Great. That's great.

155
00:06:33,810 --> 00:06:35,644
Hey, you know,
we're in tough times,

156
00:06:35,729 --> 00:06:37,480
and we're not immune
to this economy.

157
00:06:37,564 --> 00:06:38,814
That's true.
But the goal is

158
00:06:38,899 --> 00:06:40,691
to, you know, fight
our way through this.

159
00:06:42,110 --> 00:06:44,445
Stanley Hudson. Are there
going to be layoffs?

160
00:06:44,529 --> 00:06:45,571
No, absolutely not.

161
00:06:45,655 --> 00:06:46,906
Hold on, Michael,
thank you.

162
00:06:46,990 --> 00:06:49,867
Stanley, you know,
we can't make any promises,

163
00:06:49,951 --> 00:06:52,745
but we'll try everything in
our power to avoid that.

164
00:06:52,829 --> 00:06:54,121
Do you have specifics?

165
00:06:54,206 --> 00:06:57,458
Well, Michael should have
filled you in last week.

166
00:06:58,085 --> 00:07:01,837
Well, due to the economy, there's
a lot of worry going around.

167
00:07:01,963 --> 00:07:04,340
I didn't want to worry people. Well...
You didn't tell them.

168
00:07:04,424 --> 00:07:05,549
Why don't...

169
00:07:05,634 --> 00:07:06,717
Yeah, what I told Michael...

170
00:07:06,802 --> 00:07:08,469
Charles is going
to tell you.

171
00:07:08,553 --> 00:07:10,763
...is that we are cutting
3% across the board,

172
00:07:10,847 --> 00:07:12,890
which means we will
no longer be matching

173
00:07:12,974 --> 00:07:14,767
401 contributions,

174
00:07:14,851 --> 00:07:17,186
and all overtime
requests will need

175
00:07:17,270 --> 00:07:19,271
to come through
the corporate office.
176
00:07:19,356 --> 00:07:20,898
Fantastic.
Well, it's not official.

177
00:07:20,982 --> 00:07:22,608
It is official. It is official...
Well...

178
00:07:22,692 --> 00:07:24,902
And actually, guys,
I'm encouraging branches

179
00:07:24,986 --> 00:07:27,446
to consider a freeze
on discretionary spending.

180
00:07:27,531 --> 00:07:29,949
Such as salary benefits,
etcetera, etcetera...

181
00:07:30,033 --> 00:07:31,117
No, no.

182
00:07:31,201 --> 00:07:33,119
...insurance.
Not salaries.

183
00:07:33,203 --> 00:07:37,206
Petty cash, supplies and parties.
Things like that.

184
00:07:37,290 --> 00:07:38,290
Well... No.

185
00:07:38,375 --> 00:07:39,583
What about your party?

186
00:07:39,668 --> 00:07:40,793
Okay, okay.
You know what?

187
00:07:40,877 --> 00:07:42,503
I think this has been great.

188
00:07:42,587 --> 00:07:44,964
I think this gives us a lot
to think about, doesn't it?

189
00:07:45,048 --> 00:07:48,050
Charles Miner, ladies and gentlemen.
He has a long trip home.

190
00:07:48,135 --> 00:07:50,094
Thank you for coming in.
We have to get back to work!

191
00:07:50,178 --> 00:07:51,554
Michael, I'm going
to stay for the day.

192
00:07:51,638 --> 00:07:52,888
Oh, no, you don't
have to do that.

193
00:07:52,973 --> 00:07:54,557
I've got this covered. This
was just a meet and greet.

194
00:07:54,641 --> 00:07:56,183
No, this is a little
more involved than that.

195
00:07:56,268 --> 00:07:57,560
I'm gonna set up
in here, okay?

196
00:07:57,894 --> 00:07:59,854
I am thrilled
that the new boss

197
00:07:59,938 --> 00:08:01,856
has taken such
an active interest

198
00:08:01,940 --> 00:08:05,526
in all of the responsibilities
that I'm supposed to have.

199
00:08:07,154 --> 00:08:08,404
Thrilled.

200
00:08:10,157 --> 00:08:11,907
David,
it was my understanding

201
00:08:11,992 --> 00:08:13,993
that I was not
going to be managed.

202
00:08:14,077 --> 00:08:16,078
What gave you that idea?

203
00:08:16,913 --> 00:08:18,080
It was my understanding.

204
00:08:18,165 --> 00:08:19,165
I see.

205
00:08:19,249 --> 00:08:22,668
Listen, why don't we just
leave that position vacant?

206
00:08:22,919 --> 00:08:24,587
Truth be told,
I think I thrive

207
00:08:24,671 --> 00:08:26,338
under a lack of
accountability.

208
00:08:26,423 --> 00:08:29,216
Look, Michael,
Charles is very qualified.

209
00:08:29,426 --> 00:08:30,426
Get to know him.

210
00:08:30,510 --> 00:08:33,179
I really think the two of you
are going to make a great team.

211
00:08:33,263 --> 00:08:34,513
But the branch is still mine?

212
00:08:34,598 --> 00:08:36,348
You're still
the branch manager, yes.

213
00:08:36,433 --> 00:08:39,560
And if you need anything else
at all, just let Charles know.

214
00:08:39,644 --> 00:08:40,895
Ask him about the party.

215
00:08:40,979 --> 00:08:44,356
Right. David, are you coming to
my fifteenth anniversary party?

216
00:08:44,441 --> 00:08:45,524
I'll give it my
best shot, Michael.

217
00:08:45,609 --> 00:08:46,734
No, no, no,
the other thing.

218
00:08:46,818 --> 00:08:49,653
Okay. If we hire Cirque du
Soleil as salaried employees,

219
00:08:49,738 --> 00:08:52,781
will that help us with
the year-end tax stuff?

220
00:08:58,121 --> 00:08:59,747
Think he hung up?

221
00:09:00,373 --> 00:09:01,415
No.

222
00:09:03,251 --> 00:09:06,420
I just got off the horn with David
Wallace, and he said that you and I

223
00:09:06,504 --> 00:09:09,882
should try to get to know each
other better, and I agree.

224
00:09:09,966 --> 00:09:14,428
So, what I would like you
to do is tell me something

225
00:09:15,472 --> 00:09:17,056
that you've never
told anybody before.
226
00:09:17,140 --> 00:09:18,349
No.

227
00:09:18,433 --> 00:09:20,976
Come on.
What's your wife's name?

228
00:09:22,729 --> 00:09:24,521
Where did you work
before you came here?

229
00:09:24,606 --> 00:09:26,357
Saticoy Steel.

230
00:09:26,441 --> 00:09:27,650
Beautiful!

231
00:09:27,734 --> 00:09:33,572
See, African-Americans have such
a rich history of unusual names.

232
00:09:33,698 --> 00:09:36,825
No, I worked at a company
called Saticoy Steel.

233
00:09:38,870 --> 00:09:40,913
You're not from paper?
No.

234
00:09:40,997 --> 00:09:42,748
Does David know this?
Yeah, he knows.

235
00:09:42,832 --> 00:09:45,042
He just wants
a good manager.

236
00:09:45,126 --> 00:09:49,421
Well, that actually is
an excellent segue into,

237
00:09:50,257 --> 00:09:52,258
really, what is my only point...
Yeah, what is that?

238
00:09:52,342 --> 00:09:55,678
...and that is, I don't need
to be managed, Charles.

239
00:09:56,304 --> 00:09:59,515
And if you want to pick up
some tips observing here

240
00:09:59,599 --> 00:10:01,392
and take them to the other
branches, it's all good,

241
00:10:01,476 --> 00:10:06,105
but Jan would mostly come by
when she was super horny

242
00:10:06,189 --> 00:10:11,610
and Ryan would come by to visit
his parents and do laundry, so...

243
00:10:14,030 --> 00:10:15,072
Are we clear?

244
00:10:15,156 --> 00:10:17,449
That's not how I plan
on doing things.

245
00:10:17,867 --> 00:10:19,243
Okay, okay.

246
00:10:19,327 --> 00:10:20,911
Well, I'll just
bounce that off David.

247
00:10:20,996 --> 00:10:22,037
See what comes back.

248
00:10:22,122 --> 00:10:24,832
I'll tell David
what he needs to know.

249
00:10:25,083 --> 00:10:27,376
Sorry.
David wants it this way.

250
00:10:28,003 --> 00:10:29,128
Whatever David wants.
251
00:10:29,212 --> 00:10:30,254
Okay.

252
00:10:30,630 --> 00:10:32,631
Michael Scott
calling for David.

253
00:10:32,716 --> 00:10:37,386
Well, just tell him to call
me ASAP as possible. Thanks.

254
00:10:38,221 --> 00:10:41,307
Michael, come on, no.
You have to charm them.

255
00:10:44,644 --> 00:10:45,769
David Wallace's office.

256
00:10:45,854 --> 00:10:48,522
Hey there, gorgeous.
How you doing today?

257
00:10:48,606 --> 00:10:49,648
I'm good, thank you.

258
00:10:49,733 --> 00:10:51,150
How's it hanging?

259
00:10:51,234 --> 00:10:52,276
All right.

260
00:10:52,360 --> 00:10:54,445
Good, listen.
My name is Michael

261
00:10:55,947 --> 00:10:57,156
Scotch,

262
00:10:57,866 --> 00:10:59,950
and I just wanted to say

263
00:11:00,035 --> 00:11:03,912
that I've got David Wallace's
son in the trunk of my car.
264
00:11:03,997 --> 00:11:06,081
If he doesn't get on this
phone in five seconds,

265
00:11:06,166 --> 00:11:07,333
I'm gonna start...

266
00:11:07,417 --> 00:11:08,751
What are you doing? God!

267
00:11:10,086 --> 00:11:12,629
Oh, my God.

268
00:11:14,049 --> 00:11:15,049
David Wallace's office.

269
00:11:15,133 --> 00:11:18,344
Hi, Stephanie,
it's Michael Scott again.

270
00:11:18,970 --> 00:11:20,095
I just spoke
with Michael Scotch,

271
00:11:20,180 --> 00:11:21,805
and the son's
going to be returned.

272
00:11:21,890 --> 00:11:22,890
Everything's fine.

273
00:11:22,974 --> 00:11:23,974
Michael...

274
00:11:24,059 --> 00:11:26,018
And I really, really
need to talk to David.

275
00:11:26,102 --> 00:11:27,478
Please hold.

276
00:11:28,104 --> 00:11:29,605
Charles Miner.

277
00:11:30,231 --> 00:11:32,441
Hello? Hello, who is this?

278
00:11:34,861 --> 00:11:35,861
Who is this?

279
00:11:35,945 --> 00:11:37,571
I was never given a name.

280
00:11:59,594 --> 00:12:00,761
Hi, can I help you?

281
00:12:00,845 --> 00:12:01,970
I don't think anyone here...

282
00:12:02,055 --> 00:12:05,891
Pam. Hey, everyone,
lunch is on me today.

283
00:12:07,310 --> 00:12:08,310
Whoa!

284
00:12:08,395 --> 00:12:09,395
Wow! That is so unnecessary.

285
00:12:09,479 --> 00:12:11,647
Are you kidding me
with this?

286
00:12:11,773 --> 00:12:13,107
On the day that
I bring in breakfast?

287
00:12:13,191 --> 00:12:14,483
Hey, man,
it's no big deal.

288
00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:18,445
I wish you had told us sooner,
because I was going to go

289
00:12:18,530 --> 00:12:20,155
to the vending machine
and get an egg salad.

290
00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:22,366
You still have
that option.

291
00:12:22,784 --> 00:12:24,535
Thanks again, Charles.
You're welcome.

292
00:12:24,619 --> 00:12:25,577
Thank you.

293
00:12:25,662 --> 00:12:28,789
Nobody thanked me for
breakfast except Charles.

294
00:12:31,835 --> 00:12:33,585
You say no more parties,

295
00:12:33,670 --> 00:12:35,879
and then you spend all
of this money on lunch.

296
00:12:35,964 --> 00:12:37,381
I think it's
a little hypercritical.

297
00:12:37,465 --> 00:12:39,341
I do this for
every branch I go to.

298
00:12:39,426 --> 00:12:42,678
If you do not like it, then I
think there are some bagels

299
00:12:42,762 --> 00:12:44,888
left over
from this morning.

300
00:12:46,474 --> 00:12:49,268
Damn it, Stephanie,
put me through to him.

301
00:12:49,602 --> 00:12:52,187
Is that him in the background?
David?

302
00:12:52,564 --> 00:12:54,898
David.
David, pick up the phone.
303
00:12:56,484 --> 00:12:58,235
Should I seduce him?

304
00:12:59,404 --> 00:13:01,655
No. No one
wants to see that.

305
00:13:04,826 --> 00:13:05,784
Michael.

306
00:13:05,869 --> 00:13:06,952
Okay. Yep?

307
00:13:07,579 --> 00:13:11,373
I just realized that
I used the 2008 calendar

308
00:13:11,458 --> 00:13:13,959
to do the spreadsheets
for January and February.

309
00:13:14,043 --> 00:13:16,295
I may need to come in
this weekend to fix it.

310
00:13:16,379 --> 00:13:17,379
Do some overtime.

311
00:13:17,464 --> 00:13:18,505
Want to do some
overtime this weekend?

312
00:13:18,590 --> 00:13:19,590
You know what, Kevin?

313
00:13:19,674 --> 00:13:21,133
I applaud your initiative.

314
00:13:21,217 --> 00:13:22,551
Yes, you may.

315
00:13:22,635 --> 00:13:24,720
No, sorry, Michael.
No, Kevin, right?
316
00:13:25,430 --> 00:13:27,931
Gonna need you to do that
during office hours.

317
00:13:28,016 --> 00:13:29,641
Okay.
Okay. Thank you.

318
00:13:29,726 --> 00:13:32,269
Kevin, this is my branch.

319
00:13:32,353 --> 00:13:34,229
You don't ask Charles.
You ask me.

320
00:13:34,481 --> 00:13:35,481
I say approved.

321
00:13:35,565 --> 00:13:36,815
That's not the way
it's gonna work.

322
00:13:36,900 --> 00:13:38,942
Yes, it is.
No, it is not.

323
00:13:40,069 --> 00:13:41,069
No, it is not.

324
00:13:41,154 --> 00:13:42,529
Okay, so we're on
the same page, great.

325
00:13:42,614 --> 00:13:43,989
Okay, so we're on
the same page, great!

326
00:13:44,073 --> 00:13:45,157
Okay, Michael.
No, seriously.

327
00:13:45,241 --> 00:13:46,533
Okay, Michael.
No, seriously.

328
00:13:46,618 --> 00:13:47,951
How old are you?
How old are you?

329
00:13:48,036 --> 00:13:48,994
Oh, no.

330
00:13:49,078 --> 00:13:52,164
I can tell Michael's mood by which
comedy routine he chooses to do.

331
00:13:52,248 --> 00:13:54,500
The more infantile,
the more upset he is.

332
00:13:54,584 --> 00:13:57,503
And he just skipped the Ace
Ventura talking-butt thing.

333
00:13:57,587 --> 00:13:59,087
He never skips it.

334
00:13:59,756 --> 00:14:00,923
This is bad.

335
00:14:01,090 --> 00:14:02,674
Five years old.
Five years old.

336
00:14:02,759 --> 00:14:04,176
Dude, stop.

337
00:14:04,260 --> 00:14:05,969
Michael!
This is great.

338
00:14:06,095 --> 00:14:07,179
- Michael, stop doing that!
- This is great.

339
00:14:07,263 --> 00:14:08,222
- ...a whole mess of trouble.
- Stop it!

340
00:14:08,306 --> 00:14:09,306
I'm going to walk away.

341
00:14:09,390 --> 00:14:10,641
I'm going to walk away.

342
00:14:10,725 --> 00:14:11,767
Stop doing that!

343
00:14:11,851 --> 00:14:14,978
I'm kidding around.
Wow! Relax, everybody.

344
00:14:15,063 --> 00:14:17,189
It's just a joke.
It's fine.

345
00:14:17,273 --> 00:14:20,901
Boy, so touchy. PPC, let's
continue our morning meeting

346
00:14:20,985 --> 00:14:22,277
in the conference room.

347
00:14:22,654 --> 00:14:26,573
And then out of that cake pops another
stripper holding a smaller cake,

348
00:14:26,783 --> 00:14:29,535
and then an even smaller
stripper pops out of that one.

349
00:14:29,619 --> 00:14:31,370
What is that
smaller stripper holding?

350
00:14:31,454 --> 00:14:32,579
A cupcake.
Nice.

351
00:14:32,664 --> 00:14:34,373
It's cupcakes and strippers
all the way down.

352
00:14:34,457 --> 00:14:35,582
Okay.

353
00:14:36,084 --> 00:14:38,168
What exactly is the PPC?
354
00:14:39,420 --> 00:14:41,922
That's the Party
Planning Committee.

355
00:14:42,006 --> 00:14:44,466
They spend hours
planning parties.

356
00:14:44,842 --> 00:14:46,468
Excuse me, guys.

357
00:14:47,262 --> 00:14:48,929
What's going on in here?
Party Planning Committee.

358
00:14:49,013 --> 00:14:50,305
Not your concern, Charles.

359
00:14:50,390 --> 00:14:53,058
This doesn't seem like a good
way to spend company time.

360
00:14:53,142 --> 00:14:55,269
Really? Well, then,
how would we come up

361
00:14:55,353 --> 00:14:58,146
with great ideas
like Jim's? Go ahead.

362
00:14:58,273 --> 00:14:59,731
No, I would like to get
back to work, actually.

363
00:14:59,816 --> 00:15:01,942
- Please.
- What you got, Jim?

364
00:15:02,902 --> 00:15:05,153
What is
a two-way petting zoo?

365
00:15:07,115 --> 00:15:09,825
You pet the animals,
they pet you back.

366
00:15:10,493 --> 00:15:12,035
It's a great idea.
And we have a cake

367
00:15:12,120 --> 00:15:14,037
in the shape of
a bale of hay.

368
00:15:14,122 --> 00:15:15,622
It's really just
a regular-shaped cake...

369
00:15:15,707 --> 00:15:17,124
- But it's cool, and it's...
- No.

370
00:15:17,208 --> 00:15:19,418
This isn't a good use
of company time, Michael.

371
00:15:19,502 --> 00:15:22,754
Whoa. You're talking about
my anniversary party, so...

372
00:15:22,839 --> 00:15:25,549
Okay, everyone except for
Michael, go back to your desks.

373
00:15:25,633 --> 00:15:27,259
Thank you very much. Yeah,
why don't you do that?

374
00:15:27,343 --> 00:15:29,386
Yeah, here we go. Okay.
Okay.

375
00:15:30,054 --> 00:15:33,015
Okay, Michael, I'm
dissolving this committee.

376
00:15:33,099 --> 00:15:34,600
What?
Yeah, I mean, come on!

377
00:15:34,684 --> 00:15:37,519
This is a workplace. It isn't
designed for your vanity.
378
00:15:37,604 --> 00:15:40,606
Newsflash. I've been
here for 15 years.

379
00:15:41,024 --> 00:15:43,275
Headline. You have
been here one day.

380
00:15:43,359 --> 00:15:44,735
End of story.

381
00:15:44,819 --> 00:15:48,864
You have no right to cancel my
fifteenth anniversary party.

382
00:15:48,990 --> 00:15:51,074
End of story. End of story!
End of story!

383
00:15:51,159 --> 00:15:52,492
I don't care
if I've hurt your feelings

384
00:15:52,577 --> 00:15:55,829
or you do not agree with my
methods, but it is over.

385
00:15:55,913 --> 00:15:59,374
Okay, no, no, no, you know what?
I'm going to New York,

386
00:15:59,709 --> 00:16:02,127
and I am going to talk
to David Wallace.

387
00:16:02,211 --> 00:16:04,087
I'm going to
tell him everything,

388
00:16:04,172 --> 00:16:06,423
and I'm sorry to say,
you're screwed.

389
00:16:06,507 --> 00:16:08,091
And you know what?

390
00:16:08,176 --> 00:16:10,719
You are gonna be through.

391
00:16:10,803 --> 00:16:13,347
And I'm sorry. I'm sorry
to do that to you.

392
00:16:13,598 --> 00:16:14,640
Right.

393
00:16:14,724 --> 00:16:16,558
Do you even know
how paper is made?

394
00:16:17,560 --> 00:16:18,727
It's not like steel.

395
00:16:18,811 --> 00:16:20,937
You don't put it
into a furnace!

396
00:16:22,148 --> 00:16:24,983
If you put paper into a furnace,
you know what would happen?

397
00:16:25,068 --> 00:16:26,735
You'd ruin it!

398
00:16:37,664 --> 00:16:38,914
Come in.

399
00:16:39,415 --> 00:16:40,666
Hey!
Hey.

400
00:16:40,750 --> 00:16:42,334
All right, Charles,
I gotta be honest.

401
00:16:42,418 --> 00:16:45,504
I think we really got off
on the wrong foot here,

402
00:16:45,588 --> 00:16:49,925
and, truth be told, I'm a pretty
smart guy and a hard worker
403
00:16:50,009 --> 00:16:51,677
and I'm a great
number two for the office.

404
00:16:51,761 --> 00:16:52,844
Number two?

405
00:16:52,929 --> 00:16:55,055
Second-in-command
to Michael.

406
00:16:55,139 --> 00:16:57,724
I didn't know that
position existed.

407
00:16:57,934 --> 00:17:00,435
That's because at first it was
a made-up position for Dwight,

408
00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:01,520
just to make him feel better.

409
00:17:01,604 --> 00:17:03,271
Assistant to
the Regional Manager.

410
00:17:03,356 --> 00:17:05,190
But then he lost that,
and Michael gave it to me.

411
00:17:05,274 --> 00:17:07,984
So you're the Assistant
to the Regional Manager?

412
00:17:08,069 --> 00:17:09,444
Assistant
Regional Manager, yeah.

413
00:17:09,529 --> 00:17:12,280
Any responsibilities
come with it?

414
00:17:13,950 --> 00:17:14,950
No, not exactly.

415
00:17:15,034 --> 00:17:17,911
Do you want to keep
this made-up position?

416
00:17:18,746 --> 00:17:20,622
It's important to you?

417
00:17:22,750 --> 00:17:24,668
All right, I will...

418
00:17:24,794 --> 00:17:26,837
I'm just going to let you get back to it.
Yeah, would you...

419
00:17:26,921 --> 00:17:28,380
Yep.
Thanks.

420
00:17:34,637 --> 00:17:37,180
Hello, Stephanie.
Okay, where is he?

421
00:17:39,475 --> 00:17:40,684
Michael.

422
00:17:42,311 --> 00:17:45,313
So is this the meeting
you've been in all day?

423
00:17:45,398 --> 00:17:46,481
How did you get here,
Michael?

424
00:17:46,566 --> 00:17:48,150
I drove.

425
00:17:49,777 --> 00:17:50,861
Okay.

426
00:17:51,154 --> 00:17:54,030
Cancelled my fifteenth
anniversary party.

427
00:17:54,115 --> 00:17:55,866
Just pulled the rug
out from under me.

428
00:17:55,950 --> 00:17:58,910
He said no figs.
I've already bought them,

429
00:17:58,995 --> 00:18:00,871
and I don't have
a place to store them.

430
00:18:00,955 --> 00:18:03,749
So I feel like
I've been sort of boned.

431
00:18:03,958 --> 00:18:05,709
Michael... Did you talk
to him about this?

432
00:18:05,793 --> 00:18:08,044
You've talked to him
all day, obviously.

433
00:18:08,129 --> 00:18:09,588
Did you talk to him
about this?

434
00:18:09,672 --> 00:18:11,590
Well, I didn't know about
the figs specifically...

435
00:18:11,674 --> 00:18:12,841
No, okay,
then I don't get it.

436
00:18:12,925 --> 00:18:14,217
It doesn't make
any sense to me,

437
00:18:14,302 --> 00:18:15,469
because I thought
the new system was

438
00:18:15,553 --> 00:18:17,596
that I was supposed
to talk to Charles,

439
00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:19,264
and then Charles was
supposed to talk to you,
440
00:18:19,348 --> 00:18:21,558
and that would dilute
any need for me

441
00:18:21,642 --> 00:18:22,893
to ever talk to you again.

442
00:18:22,977 --> 00:18:24,060
That's not
exactly the system...

443
00:18:24,145 --> 00:18:25,937
Clearly that's
what you wanted.

444
00:18:26,022 --> 00:18:27,022
No...

445
00:18:27,106 --> 00:18:28,523
Fifteen years
I've been here,

446
00:18:28,775 --> 00:18:30,859
and I have sacrificed a lot.

447
00:18:31,694 --> 00:18:32,736
Yes.

448
00:18:32,820 --> 00:18:34,362
I've put having
a family on hold.

449
00:18:35,239 --> 00:18:36,406
We didn't ask you to do that.

450
00:18:36,491 --> 00:18:38,784
And I have never
gone hang-gliding.

451
00:18:38,868 --> 00:18:42,621
And I've never driven my car to
the top of Mount Washington.

452
00:18:44,749 --> 00:18:45,874
Okay.
453
00:18:45,958 --> 00:18:47,667
- Nice meeting everyone.
- All right.

454
00:18:47,794 --> 00:18:49,586
I'll see you in a couple of weeks.
Cool.

455
00:18:49,670 --> 00:18:51,004
Excellent.

456
00:18:51,839 --> 00:18:54,841
It was very nice meeting
you, Charles Miner.

457
00:18:56,385 --> 00:18:57,552
Okay.

458
00:18:58,262 --> 00:18:59,554
See you.

459
00:19:02,391 --> 00:19:03,600
See you!

460
00:19:05,436 --> 00:19:06,520
Bye!

461
00:19:09,941 --> 00:19:13,860
And for my next trick, I will
make my career disappear.

462
00:19:14,737 --> 00:19:16,571
I could see our kids
facing obstacles,

463
00:19:16,656 --> 00:19:18,448
being half black
and half Indian,

464
00:19:18,533 --> 00:19:20,826
but it's so worth it,
you guys.

465
00:19:21,410 --> 00:19:22,911
There's just me here.
466
00:19:22,995 --> 00:19:25,497
I am going to get him to buy
me a prime rib tonight.

467
00:19:25,581 --> 00:19:27,499
I think he left.
What?

468
00:19:29,168 --> 00:19:30,252
Move!

469
00:19:32,255 --> 00:19:33,797
Hello? Charles?

470
00:19:34,340 --> 00:19:35,590
Charles?

471
00:19:35,842 --> 00:19:36,925
Hey!

472
00:19:37,885 --> 00:19:39,553
Is that his scarf?

473
00:19:40,471 --> 00:19:41,513
No!

474
00:19:43,599 --> 00:19:46,059
Charles and Kelly?
Absolutely not.

475
00:19:46,769 --> 00:19:48,770
He is a sophisticated man.

476
00:19:48,980 --> 00:19:53,191
He does not need to go dumpster-diving
for companionship, okay?

477
00:19:54,485 --> 00:19:59,739
I don't understand that, after
15 years of service here,

478
00:20:00,449 --> 00:20:03,910
I have to get in a car and drive to
New York in order to talk to you.

479
00:20:03,995 --> 00:20:05,871
That doesn't
seem right to me.

480
00:20:05,955 --> 00:20:08,582
That doesn't seem fair,
and I think

481
00:20:10,001 --> 00:20:12,335
that I've earned
more than that.

482
00:20:16,257 --> 00:20:17,340
Yep.

483
00:20:19,135 --> 00:20:21,928
You're right, yes. I get it.
I get it, Michael.

484
00:20:22,013 --> 00:20:23,972
Okay.
Here's what I'm gonna do.

485
00:20:24,056 --> 00:20:25,056
Okay.

486
00:20:25,141 --> 00:20:27,475
We will move
some money around,

487
00:20:27,852 --> 00:20:31,438
and I will personally see to
it that you have your party,

488
00:20:31,981 --> 00:20:34,900
you have your figs.
I will be in attendance.

489
00:20:34,984 --> 00:20:37,319
It's gonna be great.
How's that?

490
00:20:43,034 --> 00:20:44,743
I quit.

491
00:20:44,827 --> 00:20:45,952
What?
492
00:20:48,247 --> 00:20:51,249
Michael. You have no
idea how high I can fly.