‫تقرير تصحيح الكتابة – الدورة املكثفة‬ ‫عمودالتعلم من االخطاء‬

Commented [ielts1]: , (Comma is required to be used here.

Question: Please explore rules related to use of comma in the link
given below:-
https://www.grammarbook.com/punctuation/commas.asp
Comma is required to be used here, please explore the link
given in comment)

Commented [ielts2]: after (The word choice is

inappropriate, so appropriate replacement has been
provided.)

Commented [ielts3]: has collected (Write in accordance

with present perfect tense here, since you are talking about
the recent development/ result of an activity. )
For example, Malaria has spread in the society these days.
Please explore the link below :-
https://www.studyandexam.com/presenet-perfect-
tense.html
Corrected Answer:
Commented [ielts4]: flows (Maintain subject verb
agreement.
The main subject is singular here (water), so write this verb
in its singular form.
E.g. He plays daily. E.g. They play daily. (he- singular, plays-
The diagram depicts the procedures a hydroelectric power station undergoes to produce singular = they- plural + play – plural.)
electricity. It is clear from the diagram that in order to generate electricity, the hydroelectric E.g. Five kilometers is a long distance to run. (Now, 5 kms is
'one' entity, so write 'is' as verb here)
power station keeps on working in a reverse direction at night.
Explore these links related to subject verb agreement.
Thanks)
According to what is shown, there are two phases that contribute in producing electricity. https://webapps.towson.edu/ows/sub-verb.htm
http://writing.wisc.edu/Handbook/SubjectVerb.html
As for the first phasewhich takes place during the day, when the dam collects enough https://www.grammarbook.com/grammar/subjectVerbAgre
amount of water, the water flow into a reversible turbine. The turbine passes some of the e.asp
water into a low-level reservoir, while the other part is used by the generator in the power https://www.grammarbook.com/grammar/subjectVerbAgre
e.asp
station to generate electricity as power lines used by the national grid.

Moreover, at night, the water in the low-level reservoir passes through the power station,
where the turbines pump the water into the high-level reservoir.
To sum up, we could say that the reversible turbines in the power station, operate as a
generator during the day, while at night it serves as a pumper.
166 words
Evaluation:
Great to see your writings again, Maha.. seems you’re working hard and improving each
time!
Your estimated score is:
Commented [ielts5]: that is transmitted through (The
expression was inadequate in expressing your views; so, it
has been rephrased. The replaced expression is a way better
expression, as it explains the things properly)
Commented [ielts6]: (The punctuation has been incorrectly
used here as it is not required. So, omit it.)
For better understanding please explore the link given
below:-
https://www.myenglishpages.com/site_php_files/writing-
punctuation-tips.php
Commented [ielts7]: they serve (Incorrect pronoun is used
here; so, suitable form of pronoun is written.)
For more detail, please explore this link here. Thanks
https://www.ieltsbuddy.com/pronouns.html
 ‫تقرير تصحيح الكتابة – الدورة املكثفة‬ ‫عمودالتعلم من االخطاء‬

Cohesion and
Overall Task Response Vocabulary Grammar
Coherence

7.0 8.0 7.0 7.0 7.0

What you have done really well:

1. Paragraphing is properly managed.
2. It is a very good response, just improve upon the edits. Thanks

What you can improve:

1. Improve upon mistakes pertaining to subject verb agreement.
2. Improve upon mistakes pertaining to verb/ tense usage.
3. Improve upon mistakes pertaining to word choice and word formation.

All these points have been explained in comments. So, revise all the related comments.
Thanks

Finally, always remember that practice make perfect! So, keep it up!

Regards,

Sachin
Your IELTS Writing Examiner
13+ years of experience correcting IELTS writing tasks.
sachin@dalilk4ielts.com