Gilligan's Island Script

Episode #95, "It's a Bird, It's a Plane, It's Gilligan"

(A United States jetpack washes ashore in the lagoon)

GILLIGAN担 ISLAND

"It's a Bird, It's a Plane, It's Gilligan"

by

Sam Locke

and

Joel Rapp

January 24, 1967

TEASER

FADE IN:

INT - AIR FORCE BUILDING - DAY

INSERT - MOVIE SCREEN SHOWING A MAN WEARING A JETPACK AND

TAKING OFF. HE IS FLYING AND DROPPING SIMULATED EXPLOSIVES.

THERE ARE TWO AIR FORCE OFFICERS WATCHING THE MOVIE.

COLONEL

Now watch this next maneuver General.

INSERT - PILOT DEMONSTRATES VARIES MANEUVERS WEARING THE

JETPACK SUCH AS FLYING OVER BUILDINGS AND SHIPS AND FLYING

ACROSSED OPEN WATER. THE MOVIE ENDS.

COLONEL

Well Sir?

GENERAL

Ah, seems like quite a devise Colonel.

You're ah convinced that I should authorize

this for official Air Force use?

 COLONEL

General, our tests in the Pacific indicate

that the XJP will render all other manually

controlled jetpacks obsolete.

It's compact and lightweight. Practically

anybody can operate it and it has a range of

over five hundred miles.

Frankly sir I think it's a perfect machine.

There's a knock on the door.

COLONEL

Come in!

A lieutenant enters the room and salutes. He is

carrying a letter for the Colonel.

LIEUTENANT

Begging the Colonels pardon sir.

COLONEL

Yes Lieutenant?

LIEUTENANT

Just received this message from the test ship

in the pacific sir.

He hands the message to the Colonel who then reads it

silently.

GENERAL

Bad news Colonel?

COLONEL

It seems out perfect machine has become a

victim of human error sir.

The General takes the message and reads out loud.

GENERAL

JETPACK XJP LOST AT SEA.

PLEASE ADVISE.

Yah that is bad news.

COLONEL

Yes sir.

We certainly wouldn't want the XJP to fall

 into the wrong hands.

Lieutenant, authorize the fleet to begin a

search for the pack at once!

LIEUTENANT

Yes sir.

The lieutenant salutes and walks out.

COLONEL

I wouldn't be too concerned General. The

pack should stay afloat for several days

and...Well I believe our ships will find it.

GENERAL

Good.

You know what I can't believe is that man has

reached the age where he can fly like a bird.

You know...I haven't seen one of these since I

was a boy reading the adventures of Buck

Rogers!

FLIP TO: EXT - LAGOON - DAY

Gilligan and skipper are seen examining the jetpack

that washed ashore.

SKIPPER

Buck who?!

GILLIGAN

Buck Rogers. He was the guy who use to fly

around in one of these things.

SKIPPER

Oh Gilligan why don't you stop...

The professor walks up behind Gilligan and the skipper.

He doesn't see the jetpack at first.

PROFESSOR

Hi any luck?

What's that!?

GILLIGAN

I think its Buck Rogers rocket.

PROFESSOR

Let me see that!

 GILLIGAN

If it's Buck Rogers's rocket his mother would

have sewn his name on it somewhere.

SKIPPER

Gilligan! There is no such person as Buck

Rogers! He was a comic book character!

GILLIGAN

Did you ever meet Buck Rogers?

SKIPPER

Of course not!

GILLIGAN

Then how do you know he wasn't a real

person!?

SKIPPER

I'm gonna explain it once more and then I'm...

PROFESSOR

Gilligan you're right!

GILLIGAN

I am?

SKIPPER

You mean...this does belong to Buck Rogers?

PROFESSOR

No! But this is a jet powered flight pack and

it's practically full of fuel!

SKIPPER

Well maybe we can find some way to use it to

get off the Island!

PROFESSOR

I'll begin experiments right away!

You know...it's just possible that there's

enough fuel in this jetpack to get it all the

way back to Hawaii!

SKIPPER

Oh boy! Let's start experimenting!

Come on Gilligan!

Gilligan, the skipper and the professor take the

jetpack and run off down a path next to the lagoon.

 FADE OUT:

ACT ONE

FADE IN: EXT - HUT - DAY

STOCK SHOT OF HUT EXTERIOR WITH CREDITS OVERLAYED

CUT TO: INT - HUT - DAY

The professor is seen in his hut with tables loaded

with test tubes and various other equipment made from

gourds, bamboo and vines.

The professor is just about to mix two samples in test

tubes when the Skipper and Gilligan come running into

the hut.

GILLIGAN

Hey professor! Professor!

The professor, being startled, spills the two test

tubes.

PROFESSOR

Oh good heavens, look what you made me do!

SKIPPER

Sorry professor, but we're dying to find out

if this jetpack is going to be able to fly to

Hawaii!

PROFESSOR

Well there's a chance skipper, but...

SKIPPER

Did you hear that Gilligan!? One of us might

be able to fly to Hawaii! Isn't that great

news!?

GILLIGAN

Yeah it's a long trip there. I hope the

jetpack has a good movie!

SKIPPER

Yes, so do I because...

The skipper gives Gilligan a dirty look.

 PROFESSOR

When you gentlemen leave I can complete this

fuel analysis.

SKIPPER

All right professor we're going right now,

come on Gilligan.

As the skipper and Gilligan start leaving the hut,

Gilligan turns around and starts to ask another

question.

GILLIGAN

Professor I have just one more question...

The skipper, seeing what Gilligan is doing, grabs him

and hauls him out of the hut.

The skipper and Gilligan leave the hut as the professor

returns to his table and begins his experiments again.

As before, as he begins to mix the two test tubes

together, Mary Ann and Ginger come running into the

hut.

MARY ANN

Oh professor!

GINGER

Professor!

Once again, being startled, the professor spills the

test tubes.

PROFESSOR

Why did you girls have to burst in to the

middle of an experiment?!

GINGER

Ah we're sorry professor but we heard that

Gilligan found some kind of a jetpack to get

us off the island!

PROFESSOR

Well it's possible Ginger, but I won't know

until I complete these tests.

GINGER

OH you just don't know how disparately I want

to breathe the heady wines of civilization

again. OH to meet a tall handsome man and

have a candle lit dinner for two and then

 after dinner to dance...OH just to float...just

float through the air until dawns gentle

fingers pull back the soft blanket of night.

That's a scene from a tender romantic movie I

was in. It was called "The bird people meet

the chicken pluckers".

PROFESSOR

All right will you girls LEAVE now so I can

continue my work!

GINGER & MARY ANN

But professor!

PROFESSOR

All right OUT! SHOO! I'll let you know the

results the moment I'm finished! Now GO!

The professor escorts the girls to the door and sees

them out. He checks outside once again to see if there

is anyone else lurking outside. Again, the professor

returns to his work, confident there will be no further

interruptions. As he begins to pour the two test tubes

together just as Mr. and Mrs. Howell run into the hut.

Mr. Howell grabs the professor's arm to get his

attention.

MR HOWELL

Professor!

Once again the professor spills the contents of the

test tubes.

MR HOWELL

Oh I'm terribly sorry!

MRS HOWELL

Oh dear professor did we cause you to spill

that?!

PROFESSOR

Oh not at all Mrs. Howell. I've had so much

practice recently I could have spilled it

without you help.

MR HOWELL

How soon will you know if the flight is

feasible?

PROFESSOR

 Well if you'll both be quiet, I will know in

a minute.

The professor pours the two test tubes together and one

of them foams up and over the top with a blue foam.

MRS HOWELL

Well professor? Can one of us fly off for

help now?

PROFESSOR

I'm afraid not Mrs. Howell. Although my

experiments indicate the jetpack has

sufficient flight range to reach Hawaii, I'm

afraid such a flight would be terribly

terribly risky.

MR HOWELL

Nothing is too risky to save a Howell.

MRS HOWELL

Two Howells dear.

MR HOWELL

That's right, make that two Howells.

PROFESSOR

Besides risk, we're facing a time problem.

You see the fuel in this jetpack has given me

a propellant potency retention problem.

MR HOWELL

How dare you talk that way in front of my

wife!

PROFESSOR

A what I meant was, that this particular type

of fuel loses its potency when it gets old.

MR HOWELL

Nonsense professor! Haven't you

heard...there's no fuel like an old fuel!

HA that was a witty one!

FLIP TO: EXT - HUT - DAY

Mr. and Mrs. Howell are seen crouched down behind some

jungle plants watching the professor leave the hut

where he's been doing the experiments.

MR HOWELL

 (SOTTO)

Let's sneak in and get the jetpack.

MRS HOWELL

Oh it seems such a mean trick to play on Gilligan.

MR HOWELL

(SOTTO)

Well I know how you feel dear, but...but you

heard the professor. If one of us doesn't

attempt this trip soon, our chance at being

rescued will be ruined.

MRS HOWELL

True.

MR HOWELL

(SOTTO)

Gilligan is the only one on the island that

can make this trip. He's young, he's wiry

and he's agile.

Besides who else could we possibly trick into

doing it!?

FLIP TO: EXT - JUNGLE CLEARING - DAY

Mr. Howell is seen wearing the jetpack as Mrs. Howell

is seen with Gilligan as she attempts to stop Mr.

Howell from taking the flight.

MRS HOWELL

You see Gilligan he's determined to go

through with this!

MR HOWELL

Lovey! How dare you bring Gilligan here!

He's sure to try and stop me from...from making

this flight.

GILLIGAN

Now wait a minute Mr. Howell.

MR HOWELL

I don't know how to forgive you Lovey for

what you've done!

GILLIGAN

Don't be angry Mr. Howell. She doesn't want

you to make the flight either.

MR HOWELL

Well if I won't make the flight who will?

GILLIGAN

Well...

MR HOWELL

Ah HA! I should have known that you would

want to grab the glory!

GILLIGAN

Oh...

MR HOWELL

Oh you can't fool me Gilligan! You know who

ever makes this flight will be a national

hero! And you're aching to go instead of me!

GILLIGAN

Is that what you think!?

MR HOWELL

I don't THINK sir, I KNOW!

GILLIGAN

I know you don't know either!

MR HOWELL

Now wait a minute, wait a minute don't try

and stop me! Cause it won't do any good.

GILLIGAN

Ok I won't try and stop you.

MR HOWELL

Well I know your persistence is hard to

breakdown my boy, but before you convince me

that you should go instead of me. Give me

one good reason, one sir, why I shouldn't

make this flight!

MRS HOWELL

Thurston, if anything happened to you, who

would take care of me and all our beloved

little Howells?

GILLIGAN

What beloved little Howells?

MRS HOWELL

Well the Howell steel company and the Howel

chemical company and the Howell...

 MR HOWELL

That's just it Lovey! I'm tired of being a

man who's known for the companies he keeps!

I want to be known as a man who would risk

his life for his dear and beloved friends!

MRS HOWELL

Oh Thurston!

MR HOWELL

Please try to understand Gilligan. Despite

my advanced age, and my physical inability,

and the fact that you're more qualified, I am

going to make this flight! So please leave

me to do...what I must do!

GILLIGAN

That's very brave and noble Mr. Howell. But

I think I ought to be the one that takes the

flight.

MRS HOWELL

There you just go! You heard what Mr. Howell

said. Go ahead! I want to be alone to say

goodbye to my husband.

Gilligan walks off as Mrs. Howell is saying her last

goodbye.

MR HOWELL

Lovey how could you!?

MRS HOWELL

Oh darling how could I what, you brave

courageous thing?

MR HOWELL

Well how could you make Gilligan go away?

MRS HOWELL

But you SAID you wanted him to leave!

MR HOWELL

No it was just an act, to trick him into

making the flight!

MRS HOWELL

Oh darling I forgot what a marvelous actor

you were! Oh and all this is just a little

play.

 Are you furious with me?

MR HOWELL

Of course not...it's showbiz!

DISSOLVE TO: EXT - JUNGEL CLEARING - DAY

Mary Ann and Ginger are in the clearing with Ginger

wearing the jetpack.

GINGER

Hurry up Mary Ann, I think I hear Gilligan!

Hurry up!

MARY ANN

Ok...

Oh Gilligan! Gilligan! Oh come quick!

GILLIGAN

What is it Mary Ann?

MARY ANN

Oh Gilligan, Ginger is going to fly to

Hawaii, you've got to stop her!

GILLIGAN

You better find somebody else. I already

tried to stop Mr. Howell and couldn't do it.

GINGER

Nobody is going to stop me Mary Ann.

If I have to sacrifice myself for my friends

I intend to do so.

GILLIGAN

You don't want to sacrifice yourself!

GINGER

Of course I do!

Is there a brave decent person on this island

that wouldn't want to?

GILLIGAN

No, but there's a rotten cowardly person that

doesn't want to.

 MARY ANN

Gilligan!

GILLIGAN

You guessed it!

GINGER

Mary Ann...um...would you give me a few minutes

alone with Gilligan?

Marry Ann gets the high sign from Ginger and pretends

to leave.

GINGER

Gilligan?

GILLIGAN

Hmmm?

GINGER

There's something that I want to do before I

fly away.

GILLIGAN

Buy insurance?

GINGER

No. I want to give you a goodbye kiss.

GILLIGAN

You don't have to! I'm not going anyplace!

Ginger starts to kiss Gilligan as Mary Ann removes the

jetpack from Ginger and places it on Gilligan. Ginger

continues to kiss Gilligan as Mary Ann straps the

jetpack into place.

CUT TO: EXT - JUNGLE - DAY

The skipper and the professor are seen walking through

the jungle near where Ginger and Gilligan are.

SKIPPER

...I see, well, now let me get this plan

straight professor. We build a dummy, we

strap the jetpack to it, pin a note to it and

then send it off to Hawaii from a launching

pad.

PROFESSOR

Exactly! Here's the drawing I made.

 The professor hands skipper the paper with the drawing.

The skipper examines the plans intently.

SKIPPER

Wow what a brilliant idea!

PROFESSOR

Well frankly skipper, I think it's my most

brilliant idea. There's only one thing I'm

not certain of.

SKIPPER

Oh what's that?

PROFESSOR

If it'll work!

The skipper and professor look up and notices Ginger kissing

Gilligan.

CUT TO: EXT - CLEARING - DAY

Gilligan is wearing the jetpack as Mary Ann looks on.

CUT TO: EXT - JUNGLE - DAY

The skipper and professor look on as they see Ginger

and Gilligan still locked in a kiss.

SKIPPER

Wow, I wonder what's going on over there!?

The skipper and the professor take off towards the

clearing to see what's going on.

CUT TO: EXT - CLEARING - DAY

PROFESSOR

Good heavens...what's going on here?!

GINGER

Ah professor...wa...well...

MARY ANN

Well I guess we'd better confess Ginger.

We were desperate, we wanted somebody to try

to fly to Hawaii.

PROFESSOR

Well you can stop being desperate Mary Ann.

 Someone IS going to fly to Hawaii!

GINGER

They are?! Who?!

SKIPPER

The dummy!

At hearing the word dummy, Gilligan comes too from his

encounter with Ginger.

GILLIGAN

Huh? What'd you say?

SKIPPER

I said the dummy is going to fly to Hawaii!

Gilligan thinks the skipper means him and over reacts

immediately.

GILLIGAN

Oh no I'm not! I'm not flying anyplace!

How'd I get in this thing?! Let me out of

here! I'm getting out of here!

Gilligan gets the jetpack off and hands it away.

GILLIGAN

Here take this jetpack!

Gilligan runs off screen.

DISSOLVE TO: INT - HUT - DAY

Ginger and Mary Ann are busy at work on the dummy.

MARY ANN

There! How do you think he looks?

GINGER

Well...he's not exactly Rock Hudson, but I

guess he'll have to do. Now we have to make

sure he's six feet five inches tall.

MARY ANN

How we gonna find that out without a tape

measurer?

GINGER

Easy!

 Ginger walks up to the dummy and puts her arms around

it's neck and waist as though she's going to kiss it.

MARY ANN

Ginger, what are you doing?

GINGER

Well I use to go steady with this basketball

player, he was exactly six feet five...and I

know just how much I had to reach up to kiss

him.

Mrs. Howell enters the hut and does not immediately notice

Ginger with her arms around the dummies neck and waist.

MRS HOWELL

Oh Ginger have you got a...?

GINGER

What is it Mrs. Howell?

MRS HOWELL

Well I don't mean to meddle dear, but since

that dummy is about to fly away, do you think

it wise to become emotionally involved?

DISSOLVE TO: EXT - JUNGLE CLEARING - DAY

Gilligan, the skipper and the professor are standing

around an angled launch pad with the dummy lying

against it.

SKIPPER

There's just one thing I don't understand

professor?

PROFESSOR

Yes?

SKIPPER

Well...how's the dummy going to operate the

jetpack when he flies to Hawaii?

PROFESSOR

You see, by building him to exact height and

weight specifications...and by placing him

precisely at the proper angle on the pad, I

feel the essential thrust of the rocket will

be enough to send him on a direct and

unswerving azimuth to Hawaii.

 SKIPPER

Ah...did you hear that Gilligan?

GILLIGAN

My right ear heard it, my left ear is waiting

for the translation.

PROFESSOR

I merely said the dummies all set to go!

GILLIGAN

Oh you know skipper, I'm kind of worried

about the dummy making the flight.

SKIPPER

Oh you don't have to worry about that, the

professor's got it all worked out. Dummy

will definitely fly to Hawaii.

GILLIGAN

Do you think he's dressed right? You know

it's the rainy season in Honolulu.

SKIPPER

Yes I know but I don't think he should...

Oh will you stop with that conversation!

PROFESSOR

Now...all I have to do is write this note, put

it on the dummy and we'll be all set to blast

off.

GILLIGAN

Have a good trip dummy! Don't forget to

write!

Gilligan gives the dummy a good luck slap on the back

and the dummy falls over face down. The professor and

the skipper are not too pleased.

GILLIGAN

I'll pick it up.

Gilligan straddles the dummy in order to pick it up and

inadvertently hits the activation button on the end of

the control grip. The jetpack activates and Gilligan

and the dummy start to jet across the ground through

the jungle.

PROFESSOR

Gilligan stop him! I haven't finished the

 note!

GILLIGAN

Skipper! Skipper!

The skipper and the professor take off after Gilligan

who is now screaming along a jungle path on the back of

the dummy.

CUT TO: EXT - JUNGLE - DAY

INSERT: VIEW POINT JUST BEHIND GILLIGAN OF TRIP THROUGH

JUNGLE AND OUT INTO THE LAGOON.

CUT TO: EXT - LAGOON - DAY

Gilligan rides the dummy into the lagoon and falls off.

The skipper and the professor come to Gilligans aid.

illigan crawls out of the lagoon and onto the shore.

GILLIGAN

Ah, ah...where's the dummy!?

Oh here it comes.

The dummy and jetpack slowly arrive back on shore and

is pick up by the professor, which he then examines.

PROFESSOR

Oh I was afraid of that!

The trip through the jungle and the water

carrying the extra weight used up practically

all the fuel!

SKIPPER

WHAT! You mean we won't be able to fly it to

Hawaii?!

PROFESSOR

Afraid not.

SKIPPER

Will the real dummy PLEASE stand UP!

The skipper gets frustrated and hits Gilligan with his hat.

FADE OUT

ACT TWO

FADE IN: INT - HUT - DAY

Gilligan, the skipper and the professor are in the

professor's hut with the jetpack. The professor has

been examining the jetpack after Gilligan's little

trip.

SKIPPER

Well professor?

PROFESSOR

Well...my original conclusion was correct.

After Gilligan's little cruise around the

lagoon, there isn't nearly enough fuel left

for a flight to Hawaii.

SKIPPER

(to Gilligan)

You know what you are!? You're bumbling,

stupid, incompetent and useless...and those are

your good points!

GILLIGAN

Your right skipper.

Gilligan takes the skipper's hat and hits himself with

it.

GILLIGAN

I deserve it.

Mr. and Mrs. Howell come running into the hut.

MR HOWELL

Professor! Professor! We...we heard the most

marvelous news on...on the radio...the news cast!

MRS HOWELL

All Mr. Howell's stocks have gone up!

MR HOWELL

A no...that's not the good news. We heard

there'll be a fleet of ships in the area

tomorrow to make a final search for the

jetpack! That's the good news.

SKIPPER

What do you make of that professor?

PROFESSOR

Well it's a long shot skipper, but I've got

an idea that might reduce the odds.

 GILLIGAN

Can I help professor?

PROFESSOR

Please Gilligan...

GILLIGAN

I want to do something to make up for what I

did. Please professor?

SKIPPER

Gilligan, why don't you go take a flying

leap!

PROFESSOR

That's it exactly skipper! That's the basis

for my whole idea! A flying leap!

GILLIGAN

Huh?

PROFESSOR

All right listen. There's enough fuel left

in the jetpack for about a fifteen minute

flight. Now suppose one of us were to put on

the pack and go straight up while the ships

were in the area. That would improve our

chances of being spotted immeasurably!

SKIPPER

Certainly would! Well that makes great

sense!

MRS HOWELL

Oh professor! It's wonderful having someone

like you with us! Your absolutely marvelous!

MR HOWELL

If you were a Republican, you'd be perfect.

DISSOLVE TO: EXT - HUT - DAY

Mr. Howell, Gilligan and the skipper are pacing around

outside the hut where the professor is working waiting

for the results of his tests.

GILLIGAN

The professor sure is taking a long time to

decide whether his plans gonna work or not.

 MR HOWELL

Oh it will work Gilligan. The professor's

trying to decide who will get the assignment

of strapping on the jetpack and soaring up in

the air.

SKIPPER

Oh I guess that's it.

MR HOWELL

A well...I suggest to save time, we volunteer.

Anyone volunteer to go up one hundred feet?

Ninety feet?

Anyone willing to put on my elevator shoes?

The professor walks out of the hut.

SKIPPER

Well professor?

PROFESSOR

Well it'll work. One of us can go up in the

morning and the flight should be

comparatively safe.

MR HOWELL

I knew it! NOW who will volunteer?

PREOFESSOR

Mr. Howell we can't pick our flyer on a

volunteer basis!

MR HOWELL

Well why not?

GILLIGAN

Because no one wants to volunteer!

MR HOWELL

Well that's not true I am not afraid, I

would love to go!

SKIPPER

Oh come on Mr. Howell!

PROFESSOR

Oh I'm sure Mr. Howell is quite sincere. But

since the rise in altitude causes a lose of

oxygen to the brain, we're going to have to

 take a test to determine which of us is least

likely to become light headed or dizzy.

MR HOWELL

Take me...take me professor! I'd love to soar

into the wild blue yonder I would...

Mr. Howell suddenly gets frightened as he realizes he

has a fear of heights and is up on is toes as he was

speaking.

MR HOWELL

I get so dizzy on my tippy toes!

Mr. Howell grabs the professor for support.

MR HOWELL

Oh hold me professor!

DISSOLVE TO: EXT - CLEARING - DAY

Mary Ann is peddling a bicycle like device used to

rotate a large cylinder made from scraps of wood and

bamboo. Ginger is standing by the cylinder as it goes

around and is keeping time.

GINGER

Time Mary Ann!

Mary Ann stops peddling and gets off the bike. The

cylinder slows to a stop and Ginger opens the door.

The skipper, Mr. Howell and the professor step out in

slow motion. They spin and fall in slow motion as it's

apparent they are all extremely dizzy and disoriented.

SKIPPER

Wow I can hardly walk!

MR HOWELL

I haven't felt like this since I was elected

president of the wine tasting society.

PROFESSOR

Where's Gilligan?

MR HOWELL

Yeah.

Just then, Gilligan pops his head out of the door of

the cylinder. It's apparent the rotation has had no

effect on him.

 GILLIGAN

Hi everybody! Is the ride over already?

That's too bad, I was just having fun!

MARY ANN

Why Gilligan isn't dizzy or light headed!

SKIPPER

That's because he's dizzy and light headed

all the time. He's just use to it.

MR HOWELL

Gilligan my boy, you've been selected as our

astronaut fairly and squarely.

GILLIGAN

I have!?
Could we take the test over again, this time

I'll cheat a little!

PROFESSOR

Oh come on Gilligan you're about to begin

your training as an astronaut.

GILLIGAN

Oh professor do I have to?

GINGER

Well your not afraid are you?

GILLIGAN

Me afraid? Me afraid?

Me afraid!!

DISSOLVE TO: EXT - CLEARING - DAY

Gilligan is hung from vines and is seen swinging back

and forth. The skipper is pulling on vines making

Gilligan swing. Mr. and Mrs. Howell are seen laying on

lounge chairs, drinking their tropical drinks and

enjoying the afternoon.

MR HOWELL

Ninety eight...ninety nine...

MRS HOWELL

Thurston?

MR HOWELL

Ah yes my dear?

 MRS HOWELL

This astronaut training is rather vigorous

isn't it?

MR HOWELL

Yes it's hard to relax with Gilligan hanging

about.

How's your drink my dear?

MRS HOWELL

Very nice thank you.

MR HOWELL

Would you care for another one?

MRS HOWELL

Oh thank you dear...this time would you give me

a little mint?

MR HOWELL

Which little mint would you prefer? The one

in Denver or the one in San Francisco?

Ha! That's a Howell rich joke!

GILLIGAN

What's the count Mr. Howell?

MR HOWELL

The count?

MRS HOWELL

Oh of course darling we were suppose to count

his swings.

MR HOWELL

Oh yes yes...onesy, and now big...big twosy!

SKIPPER

NEVER MIND! what time is it Mrs. Howell?

MRS HOWELL

Oh it's so hard to see without my lorgnette.

It's a...four rubies past a diamond.

SKIPPER

Well I think he's had enough! Let's let him

down.

The skipper helps Gilligan get down from swinging.

 SKIPPER

Are you all right little buddy?

GILLIGAN

I think so, but I don't think I was cut out

to be a swinger.

DISSOLVE TO: EXT - CLEARING - DAY

The professor is standing next to the launch guide as

the skipper carries Gilligan over his shoulder. Gilligan is

obviously not in great shape after the hours of training

SKIPPER

Here's our astronaut professor.

PROFESSOR

What's wrong with him?

SKIPPER

Well he's just so exhausted from all the

astronaut training that he's sound asleep. I

better wake him up.

Come on Gilligan...wake up.

Wake up!

Are you awake little buddy?

Gilligan appears to wake up and be responsive.

GILLIGAN

Sure skipper!

SKIPPER

Ah fine.

The skipper lets go of Gilligan who promptly goes back

to sleep and fall down on the ground.

PROFESSOR

Let's get him into the jetpack and onto the

launch pad before he wakes up.

According to the last news flash, the ships

won't be in the area for another ten minutes.

SKIPPER

All right lets get him up.

DISSOLVE TO: EXT - CLEARING - DAY

Gilligan is now seen wearing the jetpack and standing

at the launch pad.

SKIPPER

Gilligan little buddy?

Gilligan?

Wake up! Rise and shine!

Gilligan wakes up and is still very groggy.

GILLIGAN

Hi skipper. I was dreaming about wearing the

jetpack and blasting of into space. I'm

going back to sleep and see how it turns out.

SKIPPER

But that's no dream Gilligan, you are going

to blast off in a jetpack!

GILLIGAN

I am?

SKIPPER

Yes!

Gilligan becomes fully awake and realizes he's wearing

the jetpack and panics.

GILLIGAN

I am! Oh I'm getting out of here!

Gilligan makes the attempt to leave but is held back by

the skipper.

SKIPPER

Oh now wait a minute Gilligan, we've got to

get you up in the air so those Navy ships can

spot you and we can all get off the island.

PROFESSOR

Gilligan, I'm sending the radio up with you

so you'll know from the news flashes exactly

when the ships are in the area and exactly

when they've spotted you.

The professor places the radio which has a cord through

the handle around Gilligan's neck.

 PROFESSOR

Good luck!

GILLIGAN

Professor do I really have to!?

The professor takes a pocket watch and uses it as a

countdown timer. The skipper is busy preparing

gilligan for his flight. All three are talking at

once.

SKIPPER GILLIGAN PROFESSOR

All right,
count down

Ah professor I ten

Don't think we nine

Should leave this

Island! Eight

Would you get his I mean I really like seven

hand there it very very much! Six

Professor. It's really a nice

Island! five

Put your hand on I'm not going up! Four

This. I'm not going up! Three

I'm not! Two

Good luck I'm not going up! One

Gilligan! I'm not! Blast-off

(skipper activate

the jetpack) I'm going up!

Oh I'm not gonna

go up again!

Gilligan blasts off and goes straight up with a cloud

of fire and smoke.

INSERT: AN ACTUAL BELL LABRATORIES JETPACK IS SEEN FLY OVER

TREES. THE PILOT IS DRESSED LIKE GILLIGAN WITH A RED SHIRT

AND LIGHT BLUE PANTS.

CUT TO: EXT - JUNGLE - DAY

All the castaways are present and are standing on a

slight hill. The professor is looking through a pair of

binoculars as the others look skyward.

SKIPPER

Well do you see him professor?

PROFESSOR

 There he is!

And he's just at the right altitude for our

ships to spot him.

CUT TO: GILLIGAN IN JETPACK AT ALTITUDE HOVERING.

GILLIGAN

It's not so bad up here!

In fact it's kind of fun!

I'm a bird! I'm a plane!

I'm super Gilligan!

A seagull flies past Gilligan as he hovers at his

assigned altitude. The seagull "quacks" like a duck.

GILLIGAN

It's the only way to fly!

CUT TO: EXT - JUNGLE - DAY

The castaways are still in same position looking

skywards.

MARY ANN

Won't it be wonderful when those sailors pick

us up Ginger?

GINGER

Won't be the first time it's happened to me

Mary Ann!

CUT TO: GILLIGAN HOVERING

GILLIGAN

Shouldn't be too long now.

Better keep my ears open for the news.

Gilligan reaches down and turns on the radio. Gilligan

is still tired and yawns.

GILLIGAN

Keep my eyes open too.

The radio being on, now has a news bulletin of

interest.

RADIO

"WE INTERRUPT THIS PROGRAM TO BRING YOU A

 BULLETIN FROM THE PACIFIC, WHERE NAVY SHIPS

ARE SEARCHING FOR A LOST EXPERIMENTAL

JETPACK. THIS IS CHICK HERN REPORTING TO YOU

FROM THE DECK OF THE DESTROYER REDWOOD AND WE

HAVE JUST SIGHTED A UFO IN THIS AREA!"

GILLIGAN

A UFO!? That's an unidentified flying object

from another planet!

Uh I wonder where it is I wonder where it is!

RADIO

"ABOUT TWO HUNDRED AND FIFTY MILES SOUTH OF

HAWAII."

GILLIGAN

That's right where I am!

RADIO

"NAVY OBSERVERS HAVE NOT YET DETERMINED

WHETHER THE UFO IS FRIENDLY OR UNFRIENDLY."

GILLIGAN

I'm not waiting to find out. I'm getting out

of here!

Gilligan kicks in the rocket and rises in to a cloud.

RADIO

"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN THE UFO HAS JUST

DISSAPEARED INTO A CLOUD BANK."

GILLIGAN

Yeah good! As long as it's in a cloud it'll

never see me!

CUT TO: EXT - JUNGLE - DAY

The castaways are still watching the sky.

MR HOWELL

What's the matter with him professor?

MARY ANN

What's he doing?

PROFESSOR

Well he's steered himself into a cumulous

cloud!

SKIPPER

 Oh no! If he's in the cloud those ships

won't be able to spot him!

PROFESSOR

Oh that's not the worst of it!

MRS HOWELL

Oh what do you mean professor?

PROFESSOR

Now that he's flown into a cumulous cloud,

the exhaust from the jet fuel is bound to

seed the water vapor and the result of that

will be...

It starts to rain heavily

GINGER

RAIN!

PROFESSOR

That's a reasonably accurate guess Ginger!

They all try to protect themselves as it continues to

rain harder as they run back to their huts.

DISSOLVE TO: INT - HUT - DAY

Everyone is either seated or standing in the hut. They

are all soaking wet and are using blankets to keep

warm. Gilligan is back with them and the radio is on

the table.

RADIO

"AND SO AS A RESULT OF THE UNEXPECTED HEAVY

RAIN STORM IN THE AREA, THE NAVY HAS DECIDED

TO ABANDON THEIR SEARCH FOR THE LOST JETPACK"

GINGER

That's the end of that.

SKIPPER

(TO GILLGAN)

And all because you dived into a cloud and

started the rain!

GILLIGAN

Yeah but the radio said there was a UFO in the

area and I was scared.

PROFESSOR

 Gilligan there was no need for you to be

frightened. You were the UFO they spotted.

GILLIGAN

Huh?

MARY ANN

They saw you flying around up there and

reported an unidentified flying object.

GILLIGAN

Me? A UFO?

SKIPPER

Yeah and you scared yourself right into

ruining our chances of getting off the

island!

GILLIGAN

Well if I'm a UFO I gotta know one thing!

SKIPPER

What's that?

GILLIGAN

Am I from Mars or Venus? Where do I come

from?

SKIPPER

It all depends on how far I have to chase

you!

The skipper takes off after Gilligan and chases him

around the hut. Gilligan runs for the door with the

skipper hot on his heels. At the last second, Gilligan

dodges to the left and the skipper heads out the door

by himself. Gilligan seeing he's now safe, latches the

door to keep the skipper out. The skipper now standing

outside in the rain is not too pleased. He reaches

through the doors window and unlatches the door. The

skipper, now in full threatening view of Gilligan,

signals Gilligan to join him in the rain which Gilligan

does without complaint. The other castaways find this

rather humorous and begin laughing.

FADE OUT

EPILOG

FADE IN: INT - HUT - DAY

The Skipper and the professor are seen entering the hut

 where the professor has been conducting more

experiments with the jetpack.

PROFESSOR

...Once I figured out how to synthesize the

jet fuel, it was a simple matter to make

enough to make two trips to Hawaii.

SKIPPER

Oh boy professor! How soon are we gonna try

it!?

PROFESSOR

Well I've already filled the fuel tanks on

the jetpack and once we build a new dummy we

can...

The professor notices the missing jetpack.

SKIPPER

What's the matter?

PROFESSOR

The jetpack is gone!

Mary Ann comes running into the hut.

MARY ANN

Oh professor! Skipper come quick!

PROFESSOR

What's the matter!?

MARY ANN

Oh it's Gilligan! He's put the jetpack on

and he's gonna launch himself to Hawaii!

SKIPPER

Oh no!

MARY ANN

Oh he thinks it's his fault we weren't

rescued the last time.

SKIPPER

Well let's go!

CUT TO: EXT - CLEARING - DAY

Gilligan is seen wearing the jetpack getting ready to

take off. The skipper, professor and Mary Ann come

running from behind him.

 PROFESSOR

Gilligan WAIT!

GILLIGAN

Don't worry professor I haven't forgotten one

thing you told me about the jetpack not one

single solitary thing.

Gilligan activates the jetpack which promptly launches

itself into the sky. Gilligan is left standing in the

clearing with everyone else looking on.

GILLIGAN

Except to buckle it on!

SKIPPER

Nice going Gilligan!

GILLIGAN

Skipper give me a boost!

Gilligan is going to attempt reaching up to get the

already departed jetpack.

SKIPPER

Yeah sure Gilligan.

Give you a boost! I'll give you a boost!

Skipper is about to clobber Gilligan when we...

FADE OUT:

END CREDITS