Discipline With Dignity Stresses

Positive Motivation

Threats and rewards may seem to change a student's

behavior, but do they last once the punishment and
rewards are gone? Discipline with Dignity teaches educators to create
positive motivators for kids so they take responsibility for their own
behavior. Included: Examples of Discipline with Dignity in action.

One of the many variations of a light bulb joke asks, "How many psychiatrists
does it take to change a light bulb?"

None, goes the punch line. The light bulb has to want to change.

Without over-analyzing the joke, most people can see it illuminates a truth
about human nature. While certain incentives or rewards might initially alter
some behaviors, a person needs insight and motivation for more permanent
changes to take hold. And that requires time and effort.

"Your goal as an educator should be to influence change," according to Dr.

Allen Mendler, one of the founders of the behavior management approach
Discipline with Dignity. "To really inspire change in youngsters, you have to
get them to want to change."

Creating positive motivation for children to adopt new

behaviors is at the heart of the Discipline with Dignity
approach. Some administrators who are fans of the Implementing
philosophy said it is straightforward and yields results, Discipline with
Dignity
even if those results do not occur overnight.
Elementary school
principal Gerard
"For schools, I don't think there is anything better than Evanski gave an
example of some of
Discipline with Dignity," said Gerard Evanski, principal the questions an
educator using
of Erie Elementary School in Clinton Township, Discipline with
Michigan. "I found it to be the most comprehensive Dignity might ask a
student who
and practical system -- you sit down with teachers misbehaved:
and say, 'Use these words, this works,' and tell them What were you
why." doing? "This can be
very enlightening for
a kid," Evanski said.
"I think Discipline with Dignity changed my life,"
added Colleen Zawadzki, principal of the Career What will happen if
you continue this?
Academy, an alternative high school operated by the
Onondaga Cortland Madison Counties (New York) What can you do
differently next time?
Board of Cooperative Educational Services (BOCES).
"No one wants to be a 'screaming skull' -- at least I
don't. Not as a principal, teacher, or parent."

BUILDING CONNECTIONS
Mendler, a former school psychologist, said the framework for Discipline with
Dignity grew out of his experience working with difficult students. "I regularly
got the lion's share of children who misbehaved."

"The core of it is to do what needs to be done to prevent problems from

occurring," Mendler told Education World. "That includes making curriculum
relevant, building relationships, and making the classroom a safe place."

Discipline with Dignity maintains that if teachers take the time to build
relationships with students, the strength of those relationships can help
minimize conflicts. If teachers spend time getting to know students, kids are
more likely to want to be compliant, the theory goes. Strategies for building
relationships include greeting kids when they enter the room, finding out
about their interests, being visible, and asking their opinions. Once those
relationships are built, teachers can draw on that good will when problems
arise.
"You build connections for the bad times," said
Zawadzki, who trains teachers to use Discipline with "You have to start to
help kids realize that
Dignity and has used it since she started at her school it [following the
18 months ago, as well as at a prior school. "You have rules] is the right
thing for them to do
to see kids with an eye toward connecting with kids, so -- not because
when the hard stuff comes up, they will listen to you." someone is
watching them, but
because it will make
For example, Mendler said, instead of ranting at a their lives better."
student for wearing headphones in class, a teacher
should ask the pupil what he or she is listening to, so
the teacher can ask a question or make a comment about life that is relevant
to that student.

One of the hardest aspects of training teachers to use Discipline with Dignity
is convincing them that they are not taking on another task, Mendler added.
"Most educators are feeling enormous amounts of pressure to get test
scores up and are drilling kids," he said. "In the process, it becomes easy to
neglect things that build effective behavior management. It takes time to
build relationships and defuse power struggles. It's hard for teachers to
convince themselves they have time for this. But when you take an extra
minute or two [to get to know kids], it can save an enormous amount of time
in dealing with difficult kids."

LAYING THE GROUNDWORK

Evanski, who also trains teachers to implement Discipline with Dignity and
has been using the approach for about 18 years, said the technique requires
adults to shift their thinking about how they deal with children. "It's thinking
about how you meet kids' basic needs in positive ways," he said. "We're
looking at long-term behavior changes. A kid may be in third grade, but it
may take until fifth grade for changes to take hold. These are not quick
fixes."

Schools can start establishing Discipline with Dignity

by letting students help develop rules that fall under
the school's principles. Discipline with Dignity also Understanding
emphasizes ways to avoid adult-child power Unmotivated Kids
struggles and to help students take responsibility for Brian Mendler, a
former teacher who
their own behavior. All disciplinary actions -- often also works for
Discipline with Dignity,
called logical consequences -- are administered in said that measuring a
private. student's achievement
against his or her prior
performance -- rather
"You have to start to help kids realize that it than against other
[following the rules] is the right thing for them to do - students -- can help
motivate a student to
- not because someone is watching them, but do better.
because it will make their lives better," Zawadzki told
"The biggest
Education World. motivation killer is
when kids do the very
best they can and still
Teachers also have to learn to ignore the "hooks" don't do well," he said.
that can get them pulled into power struggles with "In the case of some
difficult kids, they may
students. "If a [standing] student sits down when you have been motivated
tell him to, but wants to get in the last word, let him," at one time, but they
did their best on
said Evanski. "It's up to the adult to stop the hostility something and did not
cycle." get a good grade.
When difficult kids
start with an
Mendler and his colleagues -- who include his son, assignment that has
no right or wrong
Brian, and Discipline with Dignity co-founder Dr.
answer, there is a high
Richard Curwin -- work with educators to give them completion rate.
strategies to address what they consider three basic "Evaluate kids as
needs of youngsters: a connection, competence, and individuals -- compare
the kids to
control. If kids don't have those, Allen Mendler said, themselves," Mendler
they can simply shut down from lack of motivation or suggested. "See if
they do better than
act out. they did before."

Curwin gave examples at an ASCD conference of two

ways to deal with a potentially class-disrupting event. If a student refuses to
sit down after entering the class, the teacher can say to the pupil, "Sit down
or I will call your father." The student might sit down, but will resent the
teacher's response. That student is not motivated to change his future
behavior.

Curwin recommends never attempting to alter behavior when emotions are

high. Instead, try saying to the student, "It takes courage to sit down when
you have been told to sit. Not everyone is that brave." Offer to borrow a
music stand so the student can stand up for the class if that is what she or
he wants.

Then deal with the underlying issue later. The teacher can ask the student
after class what was going on. Curwin suggested saying, "I know when you
usually have a hard decision to make, you do it well. I'm glad you are in my
class."

"You need optimism," according to Allen Mendler. "Once you surrender

optimism, you lose to skepticism and pessimism. You need to be difficult to
offend and quick to forgive."

Other key strategies include: to listen, acknowledge, agree, and defer, said
Evanski. That is, listen to a student's comment, acknowledge what he or she
said, agree that he or she is upset, and then defer acting on the situation
until after class. Then speak quietly to the student.

"You look at it as a continuum of consequences," Zawadzki said. "You have

to make sure a kid knows what he did was wrong, but also what he needs to
do to do things right. Almost all the punishments have learning
opportunities."

DISCIPLINE WITH DIGNITY IN ACTION

Zawadzki recalled how Discipline with Dignity played out when she saw a
boy smoking on school grounds, a violation of school rules and state law.
She and the school's social worker met with the student and talked about
how smoking is an addiction and the harm it can do to one's health. The
student said he would not smoke on school grounds again and got off with a
warning.

A short time later, Zawadzki saw him smoking on campus again, and it took
all of her willpower to hang on to her Discipline with Dignity training. "I
wanted to march out there, publicly address it, humiliate him, and call his
parents," she told Education World. "But you have to get over how you were
raised. Kids don't have the part of the brain that looks into the future. I was
upset -- but you have to override instinct. Don't take it personally if someone
backslides."

Instead, she restrained herself and at the end of the day waited for the
student on the school bus. When he got on, they had a discussion about
planning an alternative consequence for his behavior. Zawadzki assigned the
student to create a health lesson on the perils of smoking and present it to
the school -- which she viewed as a very logical consequence for his
behavior.

"You have to ask yourself, 'Is it [the penalty] inflicting punishment or creating
learning opportunities?'"

Students and faculty thought the presentation was good, and the boy said
he learned a lot. While he is still a smoker, he entertains conversations about
trying to stop and no longer smokes on campus. "He understands the law
and honors us by not smoking on school grounds," Zawadzki noted.

In another situation, a student was being belligerent and disrespectful to the

teacher in class. The teacher sent him to the time-out room several times,
which anyone can access if they feel the need to take a break, Zawadzki
said.

When the student's behavior did not improve, the teacher, student,
Zawadzki, and the student's mother had a discussion. Educators have to
consider that there could be more behind a student acting out than just
defiance, Zawadzki noted. "We sat around and asked the right questions.
What it really was, was boredom. The student is very bright and the teacher
was doing a lot of review."

The solution was to give the student a laptop so he

could work on an independent project in class while
"You need optimism.
the others were reviewing. None of the other students Once you surrender
optimism, you lose
complained about the student being able to use a to skepticism and
laptop. "They were just happy he's back in class," pessimism. You
need to be difficult
Zawadski said. to offend and quick
to forgive."
"You have to personalize the approach, but don't take
it [students' actions] personally," added Zawadzki. "As
Dr. Mendler said once, 'If you went to the doctor, he wouldn't give you an
aspirin when you walked in just because that's what he gave the last
person.'"

WHY EDUCATORS THINK IT WORKS

A major reason Discipline with Dignity is so effective is that it helps students
build skills that they can apply, not just in school but in all aspects of their
lives, said Zawadzki, especially at a time when many students don't have
positive role models. "Discipline with Dignity is a blend with what makes
sense in the world and what makes sense for what kids need to learn," she
said. "They need to be able to navigate when no one is around.
Responsibility is when kids do the right thing when they walk out of the
classroom.

"So many kids are not learning the mores and structures to live in society,"
she continued. "They are not getting the face time of working with people --
they can't negotiate the ups and downs of growing up. We're trying to
develop systems that pro-actively engage kids."

Many educators also are desperate for an effective behavior management

strategy and find Discipline with Dignity can reduce their stress as well. "If
anything has changed in my career, it is that there are more students in each
class that can be challenging. And if teachers can't manage them, they
become frustrated, and that leads to burnout," Mendler said.

That is why Discipline with Dignity is worth the time and effort for her staff to
implement, Zawadzki said. "We work very hard to be calmly engaged in
problem-solving consequences," she said. "It also has taught me to stand
back and think before I cast any stones. One of the kids said, 'Ms. Z, maybe
you should just be meaner.' But I maintain my dignity and require my
teachers to maintain their dignity. I take a breath, ask good questions that
get to the bottom of issues. Then I get to the bottom line and use logical
consequences."

Article by Ellen R. Delisio

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