Module 05: An Exploration of

Belief Systems and an

Overview of Life Coaching
Fundamentals

Objectives
Definition of beliefs and how they determine our reality
Three types of beliefs and their importance in life
coaching
The T-GROW model of life coaching basics
Life coaching questions that help discover limiting
beliefs and form an action plan to move forward
How to help your clients identify stressors

5.1 Introduction
Beliefs are conditioned perceptions that are
formed in our minds, based on previous
experiences, whether good or bad.

These persistent and powerful perceptions rely on the way in

which we have internalized our experiences. Beliefs do not
reflect the actual experiences but are based on our perception
of them.

To a great extent, life coaching deals with people’s beliefs

about themselves, their lives and other people. We discussed
limiting beliefs in Module 2, and we will now explore them in
detail.

Beliefs can be divided into three major categories:

psychological beliefs, global beliefs, and convictions. Among
these, convictions represent the strongest and most deeply
entrenched beliefs that often hold us back from living the
life that we want.
Module 5 explains the T-GROW model of life coaching basics.
The model includes discussion of the topic, goal, reality,
options and will do/win, and these aspects are explained in
detail in this module.

Life coaching fundamentals consist of questions to be asked

that help your clients examine their own motivation, values,
and beliefs. The life coach helps guide the reflection, but
the actual self-examination and exploration are done by the
clients themselves.

By asking a series of relevant, related and incisive

questions, interspersed with comfortable silences, you can
encourage your clients to think about the beliefs that prevent
their progress.

Stressors vary from client to client, and you have to learn to

help your client identify their individual stressors. These
are the fears that hold them back from progress and
fulfillment.

Stressors can include emotional, mental, physical or financial

stressors. Once you identify what is holding your client back,
they are more likely to experience greater awareness and
higher levels of fulfillment.

Fact
 According to a survey conducted by
the Pew Research Center, one in ten Americans say they feel
lonely or isolated from those around them all or most of the
time.
Source: pewresearch.org

5.2 The Deep Connection between

Belief/Value Systems and Life
Coaching
“If you want to make minor changes in your
life, work on your behavior. If you want
significant, quantum breakthroughs, work on
your paradigms. ” Stephen R. Covey

Our belief systems are formed when we emotionally attach

ourselves to people, circumstances and experiences. One of the
biggest obstacles to your success and wellbeing is the
subconscious obsession with how you view situations, people,
and circumstances.

Beliefs are nothing but nervous commands that filter your

experience of reality and shape your thoughts. Limiting
beliefs can act as a distorting lens through which you tend to
view opportunities and challenges. This lens represents a
warped sense of reality.

Life coaching helps your clients enjoy a vibrant sense of

clarity and the wonderful awakening to new possibilities.

Beliefs direct the way in which we generalize or distort

reality in different ways in our day-to-day lives. Put another
way, beliefs are actually fundamental assumptions that we make
about ourselves, other people and about life.

Beliefs form the basis of our expectations, both from

ourselves and from others.
Most of us use beliefs as anchors that help us express our
understanding of the world and the way we think it should be.

Beliefs are so deeply embedded in the subconscious that we

hold onto them tightly, without pausing to think if they best
serve our life’s purpose. Beliefs (both good and bad) help
allay anxiety and insecurity – even if they keep us in denial
– and this superficial sense of peace makes us reluctant to
relinquish limiting beliefs.

Many of our negative experiences and fears are based on our

assumption of beliefs to be facts. Beliefs are not facts, but
they are often so deeply ingrained in our minds, that confuse
them for facts.

The first barrier that a life coach needs to help their

clients overcome is the barrier of limiting beliefs. Some
beliefs may have served a purpose during childhood. Many of
our beliefs no longer serve our best interests and are
incompatible with changes in circumstances and situations.

One of the main reasons why people feel stuck or unable to

progress is because their life has moved forward, but their
beliefs are keeping them stuck in the past that is no longer
relevant.

How Beliefs are Created

Throughout our lives, we collect facts as evidence that
legitimizes our beliefs which then become more deeply
ingrained in our systems. Repetitive patterns of thinking and
holding onto the same expectations eventually transform
opinions into beliefs.

In the early stages, beliefs tend to be flexible, but, over

time, they become rigid and inflexible. Finally, there reaches
a point whereby beliefs become so strong that, despite
repeated evidence to the contrary, we are no longer willing to
consider a fresh perspective.

For example
As a child, Peter may have been fat and ridiculed at school.
He may have felt embarrassed and had a low opinion of himself
as a fat child. Since he grew up, he may now be lean, fit and
strong. However, in his mind, he may still think of himself as
an unattractive person.
One of the biggest objectives of a life coach is to help
clients overcome limiting beliefs, by shifting the onus to
themselves.

This is extremely important because beliefs mask reality.

We tend to make decisions based on this false reality, and,
therefore, we will invariably fall short of the outcomes that
we want to attain in life.

Beliefs determine what you will and will not try, and,
therefore, they also determine the type of goals that you set
for yourself. Very often, we are not inclined to push
ourselves out of our comfort zone (what we feel that we can
achieve) because our beliefs are preventing us from expecting
more from ourselves.

The expectations, limitations, and labels that we put on

ourselves are based on our internal belief systems. Most of
your clients feel stuck and unfulfilled and restless because
the goals that they have set for themselves are aligned with
their false reality.

Activity
Estimated time: 5-10 minutes

Think about your own life – life coaching often involves

drawing from your own life experiences and reflect on your
beliefs.

Are you able to identify and describe any beliefs that

were formed during childhood and which no longer serve
you?
Can you think of ways in which you can use your own
self-development experiences in your life coaching
sessions?

5.3 Types of Beliefs

In regards to life coaching, there are three
main types of beliefs that you may wish to
know more about: psychological rules, global
beliefs, and convictions.

These are described below:

Psychological rules
Psychological rules refer to the rules that support beliefs.

It is important for life coaches to be familiar with these

rules, as they are instrumental in driving behaviors,
motivation, and fears.
These “rules” often determine that something that you see or
experience is the truth, even if, in reality, it is not. To
follow is a situation that your client may commonly face:

Your client may feel fearful because they do not enjoy making
potentially lucrative sales calls or visits to important
clients. They may always be looking for excuses to
procrastinate because, deep down, they are fearful of
rejection or making the wrong impression and losing the sale.

This process signals to them that they are not good enough to
meet important people. It could also tell them that they are
not good enough to push themselves beyond their limit. This is
why your client may find him or herself unwilling to accept
responsibilities that are outside their comfort zone.

Psychological rules invariably affect short-term goals, in

order to restore a sense of peace and comfort – although this
is a false sense of comfort.

It is important for life coaches to be aware of how

psychological rules fit into the client’s belief system so
that the client is better placed to identify their presence.

Global beliefs
While psychological rules mostly shape our opinions and
beliefs about ourselves, global beliefs dictate our beliefs
towards others and the world in general. They invariably begin
with “People are …,” or “Life is …”.

Examples
If you avoided speaking to strangers when you were a child,
this helped keep you safe. However, as an adult, you may need
to communicate with many strangers during the course of a day.
You need to address and overcome your childhood belief that
taught you that it is dangerous to talk to strangers.
Similarly, you may have global beliefs that people always lie
and cannot be trusted. While this may be true for some people,
most people are trustworthy.
Limiting global beliefs will prevent you from setting goals
that satisfy you, and they are likely to prevent you from
having opportunities in both your professional life and your
personal life.

Convictions
Convictions are the type of beliefs that are backed by the
maximum levels of commitment, even if they go completely
against logic and reality. These are the beliefs that are the
most challenging to get rid of.

Convictions are those beliefs in which we have invested the

maximum effort, energy and time. Positive convictions
invariably result in high levels of motivation, and people who
have strong, positive convictions are not deterred by adverse
circumstances.

The biggest problem with convictions is that you are not

willing to even consider that there are alternative
possibilities. As a life coach, you need to help your clients
transform negative convictions if they wish to unleash their
fullest potential.

As a life coach, one of the most empowering ways in which to

help your clients is to examine the concept of “labels,” along
with them. Labels are usually descriptive terms that have
judgments associated with them.

Labels can include both positive and negative judgments.

To follow are examples of negative labels:

“I am such a dummy”
“What’s wrong with me?”
“I am such a clutz”

Labels may also be related to your appearance, for example:

“I am fat and ugly”

“I look so old
Whether good or bad, we tend to identify ourselves using
labels.

Here is an exercise that you can perform with your

clients
Ask them to identify their labels and to write down at least
five.

Then, ask your client whether they perceive each label as

positive or negative.

Ask them if they can think about where the label came from.
Possible origins could include friends, colleagues, family or
social media.

After this, ask them to think about whether each label helps
them or hinders them and to discuss how it does so.

Finally, ask your client about the labels that they would like
to keep and the ones that they would like to get rid of. Ask
them about specific situations and different ways in which
they can behave or think (come up with a doable action plan),
in order to make negative labels redundant.

Your main task as a life coach is to get your clients thinking

about where they want to be.

5.4 The T-GROW model

If you need help formulating an action plan
for your clients, you could consider
following the T-GROW model (also known as
GROW).

Please note that there are several models available – we will

be discussing many more models, as we learn more about the
process of life coaching. T-GROW includes:

T for Topic – this refers to the topic for the

particular session
The topic may often overlap with the goal, but it provides a
starting point from which the session can be based. At times,
your client may come up with a clear topic to discuss, while,
at other times, the ‘Reality’ discussion (see below for
details) may help to clarify the topic that they wish to
discuss.

The life coach can ask certain questions, in order to clarify

the topic.

These could include questions such as:

“What would make you happy today?”

“What has been working well for you since the last
coaching session?”
“What has not worked well for you since the last
coaching session?”

G for Goal – this is the goal for the session

Goals may not always be specific or detailed, but they should
be clearly understood by the client, as well as the life
coach. The goal may help to make progress towards a bigger
goal or may simply keep the session on track, but the main
objective is that it should add purpose to the interaction for
that session.

One major way in which life coaching is different from therapy

is the emphasis on action and change. Setting goals for every
session can help maintain perspective and is especially useful
for when bringing the discussion back on track.

For example
If you have a client who tends to discuss things in a
longwinded manner, talking about the goal during the session
is a good way in which to streamline the topics for
discussion.
It is not necessary to have a goal decided upon up front, and
it should not be carved in stone. The goal can be developed,
as the session moves forward; the important thing is that the
client should be able to benefit from achieving smaller goals
associated with each session.

R for Reality – ask the client to describe their

current situation
This should include honest discussions regarding gut feelings
and emotions and the reasons for them.

The “reality” section is the most important part of the

session, in which you, as the life coach, have the opportunity
to raise awareness in the client in regards to values,
beliefs, and potential.
Thus, the client is able to gain insights about themselves,
where they are and how to get to where they want to be.

O for Options – this would include brainstorming ideas

As a life coach, you can help the client explore different
ways in which to move forward, using the options that they
list. A non-judgmental and empathetic attitude helps the
client better express his or her feelings.

W for ‘Will do’ – this refers to the action plan that

is a list of solid, practical actions that the client
will actually commit to doing
The “will do” could include a plan of various kinds. For
example, action could include doing nothing or stopping doing
something. Any change from the previous scenario would count
as positive, goal-orientated action.

Helping your client complete or commit to at least one action

during a life coaching session prevents the interaction from
staying as a conversation. Remember to ask your client how
they feel about the actions and if they can commit themselves
100%.

If they are willing to consider it, try including one or two

additional actions. Also, make sure that you ask the clients
how you can help them.

W can also stand for “Win”

During every coaching session, ask your client about their
“win” for that day. This will bring about the tangible
benefits of life coaching sessions, as well as motivate the
client with regards to their progress.

At the end of every coaching session, you may wish to consider

reviewing with your client the previous session, as well as
the current session. This helps track progress and reinforces
accountability.

Fact

Alexandra Watson, best-selling

author, keynote speaker, and leading success mentor, has a
mission to create high-performance cultures, by helping teams
use her methods.
Source: alexandrawatson.com
5.5 How to Help Identify Limiting
Beliefs
We have been introduced to this topic in
Module 2, but we will now discuss the basics
in detail.

Often, clients will be completely unable to identify limiting

beliefs because they are so much a part of our psyche that it
is difficult to recognize them as limiting factors.

The essential skills required, in order to become a successful

coach, include active listening, questioning skills, building
trust and rapport and applying the T-GROW model, which was
outlined earlier in this module.

Although life coaching may feel like a conversation to the

client, there is an underlying structure and purpose to the
discussions. The sessions should ideally be outcome-focused
and include supporting techniques, exercises, and tools that
promote self-exploration and reflection.

The client will undergo an empowering process of self-

discovery and work on implementing various actions that help
drive change in different areas of their life.

The three main steps involved in life coaching can be

described in simple terms as:

Step 1: Know where you are

Step 2: Know where/what you want to be
Step 3: Take actions towards your goal

As you help your clients examine their values and beliefs you
will benefit from a heightened sense of personal awareness
about your own life.

At its core, life coaching is not about providing the right

answers or helping people – it is about asking the right
questions, tailored to each client’s requirements and agenda.
When you observe a client who is wishing to move forward but
is unable to do so or feels stuck, it is usually a clear
indication of one or more limiting beliefs at work. This is
the time when you, as a life coach, need to dig a little
deeper and help expose the limiting beliefs that are hampering
the client’s progress.

Life coaching questions

The following life coaching questions help clients reflect on
deep-rooted limiting beliefs. Ensure that you allow them time
and space in which to respond, by remaining silent, while they
think about their answer. Often, silence will encourage
clients to elaborate on their previous answer. (The benefits
of silence as a communication tool was explained in Module 4.)

The questions are categorized into different sections and will

help motivate your client to think more deeply about
themselves. If your goal is to become an exceptional life
coach, it is important to hone your skills, as well as gain an
improved understanding of client experiences, by using guided
processes.

Life Coaching Questions:

1. Straightforward approach

“How important is it to you to

___________________________?” (The blank refers to any
goal or objective. For example, experience weight loss,
improve self-confidence, change career, reconsider your
relationship with your spouse.)
“The evidence suggests that you are not able to move
forward in this respect.” Mention any evidence. For
example, the client is refraining from calling their
 spouse or the client is not applying for different jobs.
Then ask the question: “What do you think is holding you
back?”
“What hidden beliefs/fears do think could be stopping
you from reaching towards your new goal?”
“Now that you have been able to identify the limiting
belief, in what way can you use this new information to
your advantage?”

2. Limiting beliefs are more than just feelings

“Describe the feeling in intensity, quality, frequency,

and motion.” Encourage the client to describe how it
feels physically.
“What do you think is the message hidden in the belief?
Is it trying to protect you from pain or risk (of
rejection, sadness etc.)?”
“Is it possible to acknowledge the belief and the fear
and then move forward from it?”

3. Investigating limiting beliefs further

“How do you think the belief affects you now? Is it

serving a purpose?”
“How would you be breaking any personal rules?”
(Limiting beliefs often drive personal rules.)
“If you find that the old rule (read belief) does not
apply anymore, how can you use this new information in
your life?”
Can we add a little flexibility to the belief, so that
it does not hamper your progress?”
“Are you embarrassed to articulate the belief/fear?
That’s alright, it sounds perfectly rational to me. How
do we move forward from here?”

4. Defining the beliefs and bringing them out into the open

“What do you think are the rules that control/drive your

behavior? List them one by one, slowly and clearly.”
 For each rule, ask the client how it is affecting their
life.
“How would you like to overcome this rule/limiting
belief? In what way would this help you to be who you
want to be?”

Activity
Estimated time: 5-10 minutes

What is the best way to question or approach a client

who is introverted and quiet by nature?
How will you help them relax and motivate them to
clearly express their values and beliefs?
Do you think that introverted people take longer to
respond to life coaching?
Why/why not?

5.6 How to Help Identify your

Clients’ Stressors
The most successful life coaches help their
clients align their agendas with their
values so that their clients are able to
become fully alive and reach their maximum
potential.

Put simply, the greater the alignment of the agenda with

personal values, the greater the sense of fulfillment.

Different people will experience different stressors in their

lives.

Some common examples of stressors include:

 Financial stressors: Any financial challenge may
interfere with your ability to achieve your goal.
Emotional stressors: A lack of self-confidence; needing
approval from other people; feeling vulnerable to
rejection.
Mental and physical stressors: An inability to match up
to expectations; health stressors.

It is important to understand that the actual stressor is not

important. The perceived effect results in an increase in
insecurity or fear and acts as an obstacle. When you help your
client to find their stressors, you can help increase their
self-awareness and encourage them to use tools, in order to
manage their stressors more effectively.

Take a Quick Recap Test

Assignment
An Exploration of Belief Systems and an Overview of Life
Coaching Fundamentals

Time: 30+ minutes

Hopefully, you took in as much of the information in this

module as possible. To find out how well you have done,
complete the following worksheet.

Download the worksheet below and complete.

Download Worksheet (PDF)

Module Summary
Self-limiting beliefs are usually at the core of our inability
to progress and achieve success. One of the most important
basics of life coaching is the ability to help your clients
identify limiting beliefs and then formulating plans of
action, in order to help them overcome them.

The T-GROW model of life coaching is a simple yet effective

life coaching model that helps you to help your clients in an
empowering manner.

As a life coach, you can help clients progress with their

agendas, by asking insightful questions that help them explore
their own values and beliefs and how these affect their
ability to achieve their goals. It is important to allow
respectful silences to follow these questions so that your
clients are able to think more deeply about their issues and
fears.

The language that people use, in order to express themselves

to the world, as well as to themselves, is often deeply
associated with their beliefs. In fact, we create our own
beliefs, based on the language that we use to speak to
ourselves and to others.

As a life coach, you will discover that helping a person

discover their own values and beliefs goes a long way in
helping them reshape their thoughts and therefore their lives.

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