12 MASTERS’ LESSONS IN THE

FIELD OF COUNSELING / THERAPY

Teodulo P. Gonzales, S.J.

 PRE-NOTES

1. SOME PERSONAL MASTERS/TEACHERS/FORMATORS: APO- FR. FERRIOLS, FR. GREEN,

FR.NEBRES, FR. TANSECO, FR. NILO, FR. BULATAO

2. SOME LESSONS, MORE TO LEARN…

3. MENTAL HEALTH: MENTAL WELLNESS, MENTAL- INCLUDES PERSPECTIVES, FEELINGS,

ATTITUDES, COPING, GOOD HABITS, RESILIENCY, DISPOSITIONS, VIRTUES,
STRENGTHS, SPIRITUALITY

4. APPLICATIONS (THEORY AND PRACTICE): FAMILY MINISTRIES (CEFAM AND BEYOND…)

 APO

> Apo: lolo, grandson/granddaughter, elder, mayor, pari, Diyos

> Apo: wisdom, perspective,reverence
> Mt. Apo: highest peak in the country
> “Progress hungers for mysticism, for power should be channeled in
the service of love. Drawing from the great ideals of religion, holy
men and women can help perfect human nature.” Cory Aquino
> Nasaan na si Apo sa kanyang mga apo (malay-Pinoy)?
Some of the APOS
Joey Velasco
AN EXAMINED LIFE
Teodulo Pamintuan Gonzales, SJ
JAIME BULATAO, SJ BEN NEBRES, SJ
RUBEN M. TANSECO, SJ NILO TANALEGA, SJ
1. FOLLOW THE PAIN
(DISGUSTING)
 1. FOLLOW THE
PAIN
Give voice to the HISTORY/STORY OF
THE PAIN. ANNA O. THE PYROMANIAC
KID, AND THE KID’S MOM.
•Identify
fears/anxiety/losses/insecurity/helpless
ness/trauma.
•LESSON: Name the pain. Claim the
pain.
 1. FOLLOW THE
PAIN
1. Tell your story. Breathe out the load
inside, lighten your burden.
2. Give importance to the process, like
labor pain to give birth to new
person.
3. Understand the pain. Be
compassionate. Embrace the pain.
 1. FOLLOW THE
PAIN

1. What hurts you the most?

2. If you look into your heart, what will
it say?
3. What is your greatest worry/fear/loss?
2. CHART
STIMULUS- RESPONSE
2. CHART
STIMULUS- RESPONSE
•KNOW THE TRIGGERS AND THE
DESTRUCTIVE BEHAVIORS.
CHART THE TIMES WHEN THE
ADDICTION IS AWAKEN. WHAT IS
THE STIMULUS TO THE
RESPONSE?
•LESSON: Learn good habits or
stay with bad habits.
2. CHART
STIMULUS- RESPONSE
• 1. Record the dynamics of the
event and its effect

• 2. Notice what influences good

and bad behavior.

• 3. Do more of the good habits to

have good outcome.
2. CHART
STIMULUS- RESPONSE
•1. When did your trouble start?
•2. Who are the people who hurt you the
most?
•3. What events affected you the most
3. CHECK
TATOO OF THE MIND
3. CHECK TATOO
OF THE MIND

•Be aware of self-defeating

thoughts/overly emotional
reactions/destructive behaviors
•Disaster is a loss of a star
(MEANING).
•LESSON: Your thoughts can
imprison or liberate you.
3. CHECK TATOO
OF THE MIND

•1. Recognize your negative

feelings but balance it with other
aspects of reality.
•2. What gives meaning to your
life?
•3. What inspires you to take care
of your family or other people?
3. CHECK TATOO
OF THE MIND

•1. What feelings and

corresponding thoughts surprise
you?
•2. What are you most grateful,
despite the adversities of your
life?
•3. What will balance your life
4. SPOT INCONSISTENCY
BETWEEN THE IDEAL
AND THE REAL
4. GAP BETWEEN
THE IDEAL AND THE
REAL
•WHAT STANDS IN THE WAY/BLOCKS
TO ACCOMPLISHING OR ACHIEVING
MY GOALS?
•The longest journey is from the
head to the heart to the hands.
•LESSON: There is a distinction
between what is expected and
what is implemented.
4. GAP BETWEEN
THE IDEAL AND THE
REAL
•1. How do you write your life
now- 0- 10.
•2. Whatever answer will be the
baseline, a starting point.
•3. What hinders or what blocks
you in the implementation of
dreams or deepest desires?
5. YOU ARE FREE TO BE
OPEN OR WITHOLD
5. YOU ARE FREE
TO BE
OPEN OR WITHOLD
•You can freely and fully own your
emotional desires (not just acting
out!)
•Responsible choice; YOU ARE
FREE TO BE SHALLOW OR DEEP
•LESSON: You have a choice to
discern or just be carried by
5. YOU ARE FREE
TO BE
OPEN OR WITHOLD
•What is unmanageable or out of
control in your life?
• You can by flooded, imprisoned
by resentments or make a choice
•What is hard to let go in making
choices?
6. BE WHO YOU ARE
MEANT TO BE
6. BE WHO YOU ARE
• CONGRUENCE, DEFINE
YOUR HEALTHY EGO.
• LOOK FOR MEANING/PURPOSE/BURNING
BUSH/ DEFINE WHAT IS IMPORTANT/OF
VALUE/SPIRITUAL RESOURCE. WHAT IS THE
PERSON WILLING TO LIVE FOR?
• LESSON: Discover what is burning in your
heart.
6. BE WHO YOU ARE

• 1. What is your burning bush or higher

purpose in your life?
• 2. What will define your life?
• 3. Amid the pandemic and the COVID-19
virus spread, what did you realize as most
important?
6. BE WHO YOU ARE

•1. What is most basic and

fundamental in your?
•2. What will integrate your whole
life?
•3. What makes you are willing to life
for and die for?
7. CARRY THE FLAG
7. CARRY THE FLAG
•WHO WILL BE IN CHARGE FOR CHANGE?
RESPONSIBILITY IS TO MAKE A CHOICE
WHAT TO DO SOMETHING OF HIGHER
VALUE,
•CHOOSE YOUR BATTLE/WHAT CAN YOU
DO NOW.
•LESSON: Someone will have to make it
happen.
 7. CARRY THE FLAG

•1. Huwag lang umangal, ibalik ang dangal.

•2. Serenity Prayer: “Grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage the change the things I can.”
•3. Do not count the days, make the days
count.
 7. CARRY THE FLAG

•1. What meaningful rituals you need to do in

the meantime?
•2. What small, strategic steps you can do to
realize your dream?
•3. Who will help you realize your dream?
8. ROLL WITH
RESISTANCE
8. ROLL WITH
RESISTANCE
•PEOPLE HAVE DIFFERENT PACING
FOR CHANGE.
•HARD TO LET GO OF SOMETHING
YOU DERIVE SOME BENEFIT OR
GAIN.
•Change is incremental.
•LESSON: Be patient with change.
 8. ROLL WITH
RESISTANCE
•1. What made you come to seek help
anyway?
•2.What brought you here, despite
some hesistance?
•3. How can you make this time
meaningful for you?
9. VISUALIZE CHANGE
9. VISUALIZE
CHANGE

•LOOK FOR METAPHORS OR

SYMBOLS.
•THESE ARE MORE POWERFUL
TOOLS FOR CHANGE.
•LESSON: If you can dream it,
you can achieve it.
 9. VISUALIZE
CHANGE

•1. Be attentive to the metaphors your clients or

counselors use during the session.
•2. Metaphors can also come from the counselor
to convey the key points or motivation for
change.
•3. Symbols speak to the imagination and the
heart.
10. BE A POSITIVE
CHANGE AGENT
10. BE A POSITIVE
CHANGE AGENT
•Identify, continue constructive or
best practices/strengths of the
person
•Learn the best from the past and
respond to the needs of the present.
•LESSON: Bring out the best in
people and allow them to shine.
10. BE A POSITIVE
CHANGE AGENT
•1. Look back in the history, what works best
in the history of the counselee?
•2. What do you need to do for self-care (set
boundaries) or (bonding or creative
compassion)?.
•3. What gifts can you offer for significant
others or the common good.
11. BOUNDARY OR
BONDING; BOUNDLESS
COMPASSION

•ARITHMETIC OF LIFE (-, +, /, X)

•TRAFFIC OF LIFE (RED, YELLOW,
GREEN)
•ASSIGNMENTS/HOMEWORK
 11. BOUNDARY OR
BONDING; BOUNDLESS
COMPASSION

•1. How do express self-care or setting

boundaries?
•2. How do you connect or reach out in creative
compassion or social solidarity?
•3. What does balance asks of you from the
perspective of greater love?
12. SERVICE

•MESS-MESSAGE
•CRACKED VESSEL BECOMES A
SOURCE OF WATER OF LIFE
•PURPOSE: LIGHT OF THE WORLD;
WOUNDED HEALER
 12. SERVICE

•1. What out of control/unmanageable behaviors

turned out to be a miracle in your life?
•2. What weaknesses you have that became a
source of strength for others?
•3. What is the burning bush or purpose in your
12. SERVICE