The Dangers of Live-in Arrangements

A Thesis Paper Presented to the Faculty of

The Department of Education
Iligan Medical Center College
Iligan City

In Partial Fulfillment of the Requirements for

Reading Visual Arts
2nd Semester (Semi-Finals) SY 2020-2021
Prof. Ariel Punzalan
The Reading Visual Arts Professor

By
Duhaylungsod, Shaynie T.
Ebuenga, Jenelyn A.

BSED
2020
 Chapter I

INTRODUCTION

Water does not flow upward to the mountains separating but downward to the seas

joining. Man and women are downward course of each other. A live-in relationship is an

arrangement of two people make a life together without entering into formal relationship called

marriage. They are involved in a sexually intimate relationship on long-term or can even be only

a permanent basis. Live-in relationship is merely common since then because everyone has

different thoughts and perceptions when it comes to relationship basis. There are so many

reasons for a couple to decide living together but this kind of situation must think carefully since

it involves certain kind of responsibilities. A situation that must evaluate before deciding on

taking the step, it might lead to only a permanent basis or long term basis kind of relation. In

view of the fact that the live-in relation must have a great commitment and strong bond of your

partner, as you might expect a burden or a lot of pressure of responsibilities as acting as a

married couple in a one house. You can possess a person`s heart, but you can never control his

mind and his actions. Your partner has a will of his own. If he/she wants to leave you, nothing in

the world can really stop him/her. If, for instance, you feel that the passion in your relationship is

losing its magic you can`t force your partner to bring it back.

Live-in relationship is like a marriage without legalities. You can even know your partner

better and understand each other in a deeper level. Nevertheless, some couple likes to contact

with its partner in a live-in relationship situation before they can get married for real to merely

experience and think deeper what it is like to take step further in life. Thinking they might not

want to risk being tied with a messy divorce battle. Yet any quarrel or fight can lead to a split,
whereas in a marriage a fight is often followed by reasoning and resolving. Everyone hates

fighting, the complaints of past and present with renewed anger. Negative comments are thrown

to relieve past hurt than to reach peace. This will only create new pain and even more

resentment. As a result, one of the partners may feel ‘suffocated’ in the relationship due to the

lack of personal space. Some may even feel a sense of monotony which causes trouble for the

relationship and could eventually lead to a heart-breaking split. Sociologist have exploded some

certain myths about the benefits of live-in arrangements, which this situation is very common in

many countries of the West, specifically in Europe. A rationalization of ten given for starting

with a live-in arrangement is to avoid a broken home in the future by just fist checking the

compatibility between the partners. In contrary, in the average research of the researchers the

result shows that couple who live together before marriage have double chances of divorce or

break-ups. Living in does not help build the habits of commitment, mutual communication and

support that are at foundation of marriage. Spouse who eventually divorce tend to be the people

who don’t have high level of commitment and self-sacrifice to always seek the good of the other

person. Thus, it has been found that living together is the worst possible preparation for marriage

because it is like a training for divorcement.

Conceptual Framework

FINANCIAL STABILITY

LIVE-IN ARRANGEMENTS
DEPRESSION

LACK OF COMMITMENT
Significance of Study

When it comes to emotional well-being, young adults - especially women - seem to get as

much of a boost from living with a partner as they do from marriage. Cohabitation living

together without the commitment of marriage is on the rise. Given this new information about

the possible benefits of co-habitation and the controversy surrounding long-term outcomes, it's a

good idea to examine the fears and ask questions before making this important step.

The generalization of this present study would be great contribution to the vast

knowledge in relation to The Danger in Live-In Arrangements. Vitals result of this investigation

could be highly significant and beneficially specially to:

Parents: This refers to Parents who is live-in arrangement. In this study, they’re the instruments

in the materialization of the young adults. Parents give exact information the danger of live-in

arrangements in young adults. The parents can give the advantage and disadvantages of live-in

arrangements. We can gain information to the parents that can help the young adults.

Young Adults: They are the main concern in this study. In generation many young adults don’t

know the danger in live-in arrangement. They find it relationship goals when is not really a

goals. In this study the findings of this research will open mind, enlightened and become

beneficial to the young adults.

Statement of the Problem

This study aims to answer the following question:

1. Does cohabiting parents affects the child’s school performance?

 2. What are the challenges of cohabitation?

3. What are the effects of live-in arrangements?

4. Does cohabiting have lower income than married couples?

Limitations of the Study

This study focused on knowing the dangers of live-in arrangements. The study will

include various effects on the couple emotional development, financial stability, its difficulty in

work, personal intimate sexual pleasure, fights (violence) and religion. This study is limited

only to the thoughts and theoretical based on the dangers in living together with your partner.

The selected respondents will specify their thoughts and ideas to the impacts of live-in

arrangements in our City. There will be 60 limited respondents coming from the students of

both private and public college schools. The conducting of questions will be in the following

days not reach within five days.

S/ Name of the School Private Public No.

N
1 Iligan Medical Center School 30
2 MSU- Iligan Institute of Technology 30
TOTAL OF RESPONDENTS: 60

Definition of Terms Used

 Live-in arrangements the way someone organizes how and where they will live.

 Cohabitation the state of living together and having a sexual relationship without being

married.
 Live-in Relationship in which an unmarried couple lives together in a long-term

relationship that resembles a marriage.

 Marriage formally recognized union of two people as partners in a personal relationship.

 Intimate Relationship interpersonal relationship that involves physical or emotional

intimacy.

 Commitment the state or quality of being dedicated to a cause

 Legal allowable or enforceable by being in conformity with the law

 Risk a situation involving exposure to danger.

 Quarrel a heated argument or disagreement, typically about a trivial issue and between

people who are usually on good term.

 Divorce the legal dissolution of a marriage by a court or other competent body.

 Resentment bitter indignation at having been treated unfairly.

 Chapter 2

REVIEW OF RELATED LITERATURE

Despite the fact that such a relationship isn't bound by the lawfulness of marriage, the

lady just as her kids are secured by law to guarantee their privileges. Couples live together,

instead of getting married, for an assortment of reasons. They might need to test their similarity

before they focus on a lawful association. They might need to keep up their single status for

budgetary reasons. Whatever the reasons, somewhere in the range of 1970 and 1990, the quantity

of couples living respectively outside of marriage quadrupled, from 523,000 to about 3 million.

Cohabitation often exhibit many of the same characteristics (Brown, 2005; Casper &

Sayer,2000; Kiernan, 2004, p. 985): ‘‘shared home, economic support, sexual intimacy, and not

infrequently, children.’’ Increases in cohabitation have been observed across race and ethnic

lines and across socio-economic categories, with cohabiting relationships now frequently

including children. Couples with less education and fewer financial assets are more apt to

cohabit. Having low social status (education or employment) will be a greater barrier to marriage

for men in the Philippines than for women, thus making cohabitation more likely for them.

Cohabitation experience will be more common among lower class than among higher class

Filipinos. Liberal attitudes on a host of issues (household division of labor, legalization of

divorce, and acceptability of cohabitation) will be more likely to have co-habited than will those

who report more conservative attitudes.

These couples face a portion of indistinguishable lawful issues from wedded couples, just

as certain issues that their wedded companions need never consider. It is neither true that

cohabiting is a way of adapting to modern times.  Historical research shows that cohabitation and
contraception were common in the ancient Roman Empire.  This led to the mistreatment of

women, considered as toys for sexual pleasure, the degeneration of families, and the eventual

moral decay of society.  The Christian vision of marriage and family brought respect, dignity and

happiness to families and society.  Those who are cohabiting swear that they love one another

and want to be together as early as possible without the formalities of marriage.  These people

should be told that if their love is real and not a matter of volatile feeling, they will want to give

the best for each other and for their mutual relationship.  Research and proven wisdom have

shown that cohabitation is bad for the partners, for their future marriage and their children.

According to Villegas (2016), that a good number of his workers, most of whom are

Catholics, had not been married in Church and were just “living in”, he went out of his way to

consult a Catholic priest about how to convince these couples who were cohabitating to be

formally married in their faith. Just using his common sense, he was convinced that people in

live-in conditions could pose a danger to his workforce and can affect the productivity of his

workers. True enough, his instincts are supported by social science research. On the contrary,

studies show that couples who live together before marriage have double the chances of divorce

than those who don’t. Living in does not help build the habits of commitment, mutual

communication and support that are at the foundation of marriage. Spouses who eventually

divorce tend to be people who do not have a high level of commitment and self-sacrifice to

always seek the good of the other person. Then there is the excuse of saving up first in order to

attain financial stability. Ironically, research has found that cohabiting couples have lower

incomes than married couples. A possible explanation is that married men with children are

motivated and committed to become more responsible and productive. In marriage, there is

more sharing of economic and social resources, thus acting like an insurance pool as protection
from uncertainties. Furthermore, studies have demonstrated that people who are cohabiting

experience lower levels of subjective well-being and higher levels of depression, domestic

violence and murder. One research suggests that due to the lack of long-term commitment,

couples who live together without the benefit of marriage are less motivated to develop their

conflict resolution and support skills. Also, compared to married couples, live-in couples are

less connected to the community and the church. Thus, they get less emotional, social and

material support.

The poverty rate among children of cohabiting couples is five-fold greater than the rate

among children in married-couple households. Compared to children of married biological

parents, children age 12-17 with cohabiting parents are six times more likely to exhibit emotional

and behavioral problems. Likewise, adolescents from cohabiting households are 122% more

likely to be expelled from school and 90% more likely to have a low Grade Point Average

(GPA). One of the greatest problems of children of cohabiting couples is the high risk that the

couple will break up. Cohabitation is condemned by most religions because it is all about pre-

marital sex. In Islam, living in zina, fornication, is absolutely forbidden and is severely

condemned as irresponsible and immoral. Buddhists considered it kamesu micchacara, a sexual

violation. It is condemned by Hinduism. The Jewish Torah prohibits it: There shall be no

kedeshah, promiscuity, among the daughters and sons of Israel.

More recently, Pope Francis in the “Joy of Love” presents a very strong case against

cohabitation: “Marriage is a means of expressing that we have truly left the security of the home

in which we grew up in order to build other strong ties and to take on a new responsibility for

another person.  This is much more meaningful than a mere spontaneous association for mutual

gratification, which would turn marriage into a purely private affair.  As a social institution,
marriage protects and shapes a shared commitment to deeper growth in love and commitment to

another, for the good of society as a whole.  That is why marriage is more than a fleeting fashion;

it is of enduring importance.  Its essence derives from our human nature and social character.  It

involves a series of obligations born of love itself, a love so serious and generous that it is ready

to face any risk.” Nicolas (1994) nothing should be more important to the person you marry than

your spiritual well-being. Some couples actually decide to cohabit because of its differences of

religion. Church leaders even warn that they may not go to heaven if they have a relationship

with someone outside the faith. For couples intending to get married but have contrasting

religious beliefs, the primary test of the relationship. Most of the people will just have a live-in

arrangement with their partner.

Cohabitation does not only hurt the live-in partners themselves. It is also a disservice to

society itself.