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The 7 Types of Love in the Bible Eager for More Bible

Posted on February 14, 2020 by Steppes of Faith Knowledge?
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“For God so loved the world He gave His only begotten Son.” John 3:16

Have you seen the latest New York Life commercial on television? It’s a beautiful ad
describing the characteristics of love according to the Greek language. Since today’s Bible is
translated from Greek, the commercial inspired me to find out what types of love are found
in the Bible.

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Of the eight Greek types of love, I found evidence of seven of them sprinkled throughout
God’s word. Just as a disclaimer, my findings are in not necessarily exhaustive. You may know
of others, but here’s what I found.

Eros – “Romantic Love”

Eros is an intense sexual desire for someone. Usually, it is so passionate and overwhelming
that the Greeks often thought it would cause someone to lose control of their words or
actions. Today, we might call it lust. Regardless, eros can be a very dangerous thing if not
quickly reigned in. We find two examples of eros in the Old Testament.

Samson was slow to figure it out, but he finally understood the danger of eros after his
passion for Delilah backfired on him. Samson was a bit overconfident in himself, perhaps with
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Samson slept with harlots (Judges 16:1) and burned entire grain fields in revenge (Judges
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15:5). Then he met Delilah (Judges 16), and he could not keep his hands off her. It turns out
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King David also had trouble keeping his hands to himself when he spotted Bathsheba bathing
one day. Though they were both already married, he immediately sent for Bathsheba so he
could be intimate with her. A few months later, she sends word to him that she’s pregnant, so
David instantly starts plotting her husband’s death.

It seems the Greeks had their definition of eros correct. It can be a very dangerous thing.

Philia – “A ectionate Love”

All love is affectionate in some manner, but philia love is one that doesn’t involve any
passion or sexual impulse. It’s more like love between good friends or goodwill between you
and someone you respect or admire. Worship Corner – Elevation Worship and
Maverick City, “Jireh”

We see philia love between Jesus and His disciples. They started as a ragtag group of people
that Jesus gathered, but they ended up becoming such good friends they continued to
minister together long after Jesus ascended back to heaven.

The apostle John also noted that philia is the kind of love that clearly defines what it means
to be a Christian.

“By this we know love because He laid down His life for us. And we also ought to lay down
our lives for the brethren.” 1 John 3:16

He goes on to say in verse 18,

“My little children, let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth. And by
this we know that we are of the truth and shall assure our hearts before Him.”

Philia can feed back into eros love to help build a romantic relationship over the long term.
But among friends, philia stands alone.

Storge – “Familiar Love” Recent Posts

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We see many examples of storge in the Bible starting with Father God Himself. His great love
for His son, Jesus, is abundantly apparent, most especially in Matthew 3:17.

“And suddenly a voice came from heaven saying, ‘This is My beloved Son, in whom I am well May I Help You Look For Something?
pleased.’”
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Other great examples of storge are:

The centurion who asked Jesus to heal his servant (Luke 7:1-10; Matthew 8:5-13)
The woman who begged Jesus to deliver her daughter from demon possession (Matthew Something Funny
15:21-28)
Jairus the synagogue leader who begged Jesus to heal his daughter because she was
near death (Mark 5:21-24).

Each of these parents (and there are more) had storge for their children. If you have kids,
you know what it feels like. And you have to admit, it’s a pretty neat feeling.

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If you’re married and you’ve been married for a while, you’re probably well aware there
comes a time when the honeymoon’s over. The eros you both had has settled into a nice
storge/philia mix and life goes merrily along.

But if you last long enough, eventually you have pragma, an enduring love.

Pragma is where we get the English word pragmatic. It’s a practical kind of love that stands
the test of time. It’s the kind of love a husband and wife have after fifty years of marriage,
and they still want to kiss and hold hands. As the opposite of eros where the passion burns
white hot and fades quickly, pragma is like fine wine. It matures and grows over time into
something truly special.

The Bible doesn’t have many amazing tales of enduring love, but we can see evidence of it
when we read about Abraham and Sarah.

They had been married for decades before God finally blessed them with a son. It takes
pragma for a couple to last that long enduring life’s ups and downs while waiting for God’s
promise to come true. Eventually, God did keep His promise in Genesis 21:1-7.

We also see a hint of pragma with Ruth and Boaz in the book of Ruth. After Boaz agreed to
marry Ruth, their marriage endured long enough they were able to see their son Obed grow
to have a son named Jesse who grew to have a son named David.

We might suppose that Jacob and Rachel had pragma, but she died while giving birth to
Benjamin (Genesis 35:16-20). Given Jacob’s incredible love for her, though, we might assume
they would have had pragma eventually. They certainly had eros and storge.

Philautia – “Self-Love/Self-Compassion”
Though self-love can be unhealthy in nature, philautia love refers to a healthy self-esteem.
Dr. Neel Burton at Psychology Today describes self-esteem as the “emotional appraisal of our
own worth relative to that of others…It is the matrix through which we think, feel, and act,
and reflects and determines our relation to ourselves, to others, and to the world.”

So, if we feel we have worth that causes us to think, feel, and act in healthy ways, we have
good self-esteem that enables us to give and receive love properly. If we have good self-
esteem, we have philautia.

We can also think of philautia as self-compassion where we try to eat healthy food, get
enough sleep, and exercise. If we get sick, we might take the necessary medicine or go to a
doctor so we can feel better. If we didn’t have self-compassion, we wouldn’t have philautia.

A great example of philautia in the Bible is Daniel. When he and his friends Hananiah
(Shadrach), Mishael (Meshach), and Azariah (Abed-Nego) were captured by the Babylonian
army, they were taken to King Nebuchadnezzar’s palace to learn the Chaldean language and
Babylonian culture. The king gave them gourmet food and wine every day, but Daniel did not
want to defile himself with such an ungodly diet. He convinced his friends to do the same.

So, Daniel asked the head of the eunuchs to allow them to eat only vegetables and drink only
water for ten days in honor of God. At the end of the ten days, the boys looked healthier
than any of the other captive boys.

Daniel was primarily honoring God, but because of his philaustia, he kept himself healthy so
he could withstand the trials he was going through in Babylon. And God blessed him for it.

“As for these four young men, God gave them knowledge and skill in all literature and
wisdom; and Daniel had understanding in all visions and dreams.” Daniel 1:17

Ludas – “Playful Love”

If you’ve ever been in love, you have no doubt felt ludas. It’s the butterflies in your stomach,
the quickened heartbeat, the anxiety you feel when you’re waiting for your love interest to
walk through the door. It’s the flirting and teasing and playing you do in the early stages of
dating. The focus is usually more on fun rather than building a relationship.

An example of ludas love in the Bible is between King Solomon and the unknown maiden in
the book of Song of Solomon. Though we have no idea who the maiden is, some scholars
believe her family was employed by Solomon. According to Ecclesiastes 9:9, she eventually
became his first wife (that is, before he married 699 other women and kept 300 concubines).

The entire book of Song of Solomon, which Solomon wrote as a musical score, is overflowing
with flirting and the longing they both felt for each other. The language of the song even gets
a little racy in SoS 4:3-5 (I’ll let you look that up; It was rather spicy language for its time).

We might say Solomon and the maiden had both ludas and eros love.

Agape – “Unconditional Love”

Agape is by far the most special, most respectful of all the Greek types of love. It is the kind
Jesus refers to again and again throughout His ministry and is the one all of the Christian
faith encompasses.

Agape is a universal, unconditional, selfless love for others. It involves being altruistic and
caring more for others than for yourself. Jesus perfectly exemplified agape love when He
died on the cross to save us from sin and death. His suffered so we could be set free.

As Christians, we are all called to have agape love for others, which is what Jesus is talking
about in Matthew 22:37-39. In this Scripture, Jesus seems to be simply answering a Pharisee’s
question when, in fact, He’s giving us the greatest commandment all Christians should follow.

“Jesus said to him, ‘You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul,
and with all your mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like it:
You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’”

Jesus repeatedly taught His disciples and thousands of others about agape love, and He
openly displayed it everywhere He went. From the Sermon on the Mount to countless
healings, from raising Lazarus from the dead to dying for us all on the cross, Jesus was the
perfect embodiment of agape love.

Jesus is the finest example of love we have, and it’s the one we should all be striving to copy
every single day.

We’re all experiencing different types of love depending on our situations, but agape is the
most important one to focus on. To give agape love is to be like our Lord Jesus Christ.

This Valentine’s Day, find out for yourself how you can give love like Jesus. Make it a daily
goal to put others first and to love them generously. God will bless you for it in unbelievable
ways.

“And now abide in faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.” 1
Corinthians 13:13

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5 Replies to “The 7 Types of Love in the Bible”

Anne on March 30, 2021 at 10:41 am said:

Hi there,
I left a comment on this post on medium as well, but I’m not sure how often
you check it so I’ll leave a comment here too. I also noticed that someone else
had left a very helpful and constructive comment that you did not reply to, so I
gured it was because the medium page is not checked often.

Could you please share your sources for these words and your understanding
of them? A few of them don’t appear in the New Testament nor in the Greek
Old Testament, so I’m a bit confused about how you see them in the Bible and
teach them with such con dence.

Also, it says that the author is someone named Gina. Could you please share
who she is and what her experience with Greek is? Has she studied Greek
extensively? Or is this coming from another source? And how reputable is that
source?
Ancient languages are very easy to misunderstand, and to accidentally place
meanings on words that are not there. So, it’s very important to me to know
that the person teaching has adequate experience and knowledge of Greek.

Thank you

Steppes of Faith
on March 30, 2021 at 1:28 pm said:

Hi Anne, thank you for your questions and your concern for truth. I have several
sources I use including a fantastic Greek to English translation Bible as well as pastors
and psychologists I consulted. No, the words are not necessarily in the Bible, but we
see evidence of these types of love. Illustrations, if you will, which I tried to convey. My
apologies if it wasn’t clear. But as we know, even in the English language, love can be
described in many ways and by many degrees. It is not di erent in other languages,
including Greek.

Thuat okoth on March 22, 2021 at 8:28 pm said:

Thank somuvh in my wholly heart for having this kind of knowledge

Deacon ToniB on February 23, 2021 at 2:17 am said:

I appreciate this comnentary. I t was

very enlightening. Thank you.

Nobert on August 1, 2020 at 11:58 am said:

I have been helped a lot with this information. It is very helpfull.

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