TWIN FLAMES

A Step By Step into Self Realization

OUR QUEST

Man - Woman - God

Our Twin Flame Journey of Transcendence

Books of Wisdom Series :

Twin Flames Union of Three

OUR QUEST BOOK 1

Master Yeshua

& Messengers
Deborah, David - Sathyananda Ji
 The artwork on the cover is a symbol of our Journey, that represents to us
Transcending the mundane: With the knowledge revealed about the Divine
Blueprint given to humanity by Adam and Eve, that was fulfilled by Yeshua
and Mary of Magdala on The Union of Three:
Man – Woman - God in Union of Realization and Transcendence. A
Divine opportunity to return to Love, to Peace, to the Most High God and to
Life with The Master Yeshua's Heavenly Revelations and Guidance on Twin
Flames - Our Quest of Union & Transcendence.

Design by Phoeniex - with Thanks - Deborah and David

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 Contents

Foreword
Introduction
Yeshua’s Validation:
Divine Forgiveness
Breath and Manifestation
Portal of Purity
Passion for Freedom
Divine Advice
Immovable
Shortcomings & History of Heritage Unveiled
Uncertainties & Perils of the Mundane
Our Angels Points of Views
A Dilemma & Ethical Assessments
A Painful Millennium
No Malice or Evil in my Motive for Perfection
Jeopardy of Anger & Teasing Challenges
Angelic Support After Attack & Our Oversights
Parameters of Intent & Pushing against Attacks
Malignant Objects & Strings of Loyalty
Transference of Negativity & Selfishness
Selfishness & Malevolence Vs Benevolence
Master’s Birthday & The Hearts that Harbor Malice
Hard Choices & Clues of Hidden Dangers
Oppositions to Our Union & The Angelic Parameters
Maternal Choices
Master’s Guidance on Negative Transference by Examples
Bearers of Enlightenment are Resented
Be Careful who you Touch Intimately
The Hidden Malice Confirmed
Angelic Disclosure on the Malice & My Silence
Master’s Exposition on Entities & Reprimand
Illusionary Beauty of Planet Earth & Compassion
Books In This Series
 Foreword
Books of Wisdom - Our Quest of Union

Yeshua Said: What is earned is always given; what is aspired to in honest

effort is always granted. There are no accident, no denials and no lesser
roads of course. When one is ready to receive what is in store for all at any
moment, the circumstance is perfect every time.
There are as many ways as there are souls. The guides are few, of course
as always, but each of them of course fulfill the needs of seekers in honest
way of their own, that gives what is required to those who relate to their way
and wish to follow honestly and truly. As I have said, My Way is not for all:
not everyone by far requires or requests a personal relationship with God.
Communion Impersonal and Universal is quite enough for some and nothing
further is desired or required. All over that is totally elective and as I told
you once, the only difference -- exists – is in one's contribution to growth,
which is a choice, of course. Some choices are expansive, some are not,
which does not make them lesser; one shall arrive by any honest choice.
So, not everyone is partial to personal contribution to Expansion;
Becoming and Being is all they seek. That is certainly not a crime or an
oversight, only a chosen road or preference. So what?
How many do you think would embrace to have their life displayed to all
who wish to read it and be examined and critiqued, as to point out the lessons
yet unlearned? Not even I embraced it fully, as you know. There are many
gaps filled by speculations or totally unknown; but you embraced it, as
Arjuna did. To each his own, my dear. It does not make you greater, as you
know, but in your personal relationship with God and contribution to Light's
expansion, that not everyone is seeking, not by far. It is as just, as it is fair, as
it is right.
There would not be that many ways described, would there not be that
many honest needs that asked to be fulfilled in such a way. That also is quite
clear, I suppose. All right, My Way is more expansive and all encompassing,
but not everybody seeks it. For some it is too much, and it is fine. They may
never come into the Father, which does not mean they would not know God,
or be it, or become it. As I have said, some aspects may be missed, but if
they are not desired or requested, it is all right. If those who transcend desire
more, they do come back to answer those needs, as Ariel has done, and you
and David. Few do, of course, surprise, surprise, or not. Why should they, if
they not desire? Most just move on and find some other means.
Including personal in the equation -- while it offers great rewards, it has
many traps, as all of us discovered, and that appeals to very few, indeed.

The Master
 Introduction
Yeshua Said: Be open to Divine at any time; be never open to mundane,
no matter how attractive or appealing.
Deborah: As long as they are striving upwards and are progressing
upwards, we shall be and are there at our mercy and shall provide what is
required and earned, if we are good, at no detriment to ourselves, but may be
just time spent. It is all about service after all and before all, or is it not? Of
course it is, so let us not be selfish in our primal desire to liberate ourselves;
although David will now interject his assessment.
David: It is much more Divine and Loving to provide Service from the
“Space of One’s Liberation of Transcendence in Union & Merge with
Source, than from any unpredictable “Russian Roulette” of any human or
otherwise embodied captivity. Striving for this Quest and attaining That is
the Ultimate Step to Perpetual Happiness and Immortality.
Let's remember those striving to do the same; you were them just yesterday
and help was there for you. You absolutely must return the effort and pass on
the wisdom, for you are not the owner, but only a custodian of such. Those
are the rules. So, our efforts now in this regard, is what we both have shared
through the writings and teachings that are offered to those that seek it:
To be: A Shining Light upon A Road, A Path, A Way to fulfill Your
Chosen Personal Quest for Union and Transcendence.
Though Our Quest started way before the accounts listed in these very
personal sharing, we feel that it is best to begin with an official Divine
acknowledgment, of Our journey we have embarked upon. Therefore, in full
disclosure, we will reveal the obstacles, hardships, obstructions, oppositions
and gauntlet of circumstances and conditions that anyone on such a quest
may have to face and ultimately overcome to attain and fulfill their Divine
Quest.
Step back for a season from the abyss, of the pain and suffering: the
stagnating pools of deception, despair, anxiety, depression and stress.
Remember who and what you are and why you are here as a manifested
Sentient Being. Our journey and Our Quest of Union of 3: Man – Woman –
God reveals and unveils the Truth and Divine Blueprint of Creation that one
needs to apply for a Liberated Life. Know that Truth & Set yourself Free.
 Who are we? Why are we here? What is the purpose of Life?
When all is said and done what will we have accomplished or achieved?
To us, after much seeking and a personal journey, only one answer is possible
and we willingly share it with all those who choose to embark upon what we
personally have come to know as the ultimate ideal and our mission of Love.

Foundational to attainment is a heart of unconditional Love for All,

with prejudice or hatred to none. Your Twin Flame can be from a
different culture and etnic background, than yourself, and without Love
for all, your opportunity and Quest will be nullified by any of your
exclusions or limitations.

Another major obstacle, that you may have to face is that your Twin
Flame may be already involved or married, but have Faith that Pure
Divine Love ultimately overrules all lesser compromises in order to fulfill
Self.

Paramount is a Love of God and Intent to have Union & Merge with
That Creator and/ or The Source of All That Is - THE ONE.

With Love Divine to All Readers & Seekers

Deborah & David

 Yeshua’s Validation:
True Union & Marriage Vs Mundane Entrapment

The discourse on Mercy (in Yeshua Unveiled Books of Wisdom Prepare)

was a true eye opener, that we both made an effort to integrate according to
our personal level of understanding. David had acknowledged a long time
ago, that the ways of God were different from the ways, thoughts and choices
of men. Nevertheless, he voiced the opinion that some readers of the books
would not understand, how he could embrace the Union, while still married
officially in the eyes of men. His perception was that his divine
responsibilities is to the Union which is foremost, and yet he felt a need to
fulfill his intent of assisting Lakieya, (his wife at this time) - to self-
knowledge without intentionally hurting her; yet to balance that personal self
assumed Karma with Mercy. I have been divorced for many years, but some
people do not appreciate that either. I did not much care how anyone may
perceive us; I had enough problems properly perceiving it myself. Besides, I
did not think we would acquire all the blessings that we did, if Divinity was
dissatisfied with our actions. However, David thought that some official
validation was necessary, to clarify any misconceptions of the reader that
may arise from faulty and misinterpreted convictions or beliefs regarding the
marital condition. Therefore, the question was posted reluctantly by me. The
Master was not particularly pleased by the redundant insecurity of its nature.

Master: What do you want me to comment on? How you engaged in

years of self-torment and frantic search of anything that was not, while he
engaged in condescending comfort, that he is still unwilling to forsake? Are
you afraid, that certain little minds may actually assume you were married,
because some rituals have taken place, so he could pacify and you could fix
your taxes? (Master chastisement referred to the motives of David’s current
dilemma and of mine in my previous marriage.) Don't kid yourselves: Sweet
pity you both felt when you so kindly "wed" have been completely
unappreciated. Your business suit and fearful "I do" while thinking: "Do
relax, it's not forever." was so devoid of any self-respect or any trace of
higher understanding, commenting on it actually is cruel, so I shall not
elaborate on that disaster further. He actually envisioned he was kind, and
helpful, and merciful, and loving; while in fact, he was just paying debt in
full for adoration, comfort, ego boost and years of complacency, distraction
and benevolent autocracy. I do believe, he now understands, that he, in fact,
has done her no service, except perpetuation of what was; and only now, he
begun to remedy the problems he compounded and grew by inattention, and
his lack of real caring. As for you, you are blessed and lucky you survived;
he could have just as easily killed you. One may just say, your son have
saved your life, but no matter. Any one at all who would assume that in the
eyes of God what you have been through constitutes a marriage is quite
insane and should simply be dismissed. His case is more involved, or may be
less, if we should be exact. Exchange of services mundane or half-mundane,
rule by default and never ending clinging may be benevolent, but it is not
divine; it isn't merciful; it isn't even kind; it's blind; it's lazy and it is not
becoming. However, I may add, his efforts to dissolve acquired karma have
now been progressing rather well, considering neglect and disregard, that
have been festering, eroding and postponing. So, even if it is not obvious at
first, what he created was convenient and smooth, but marriage it was not;
more anti-marriage. The two of you, with your resentful minds, conflicting
egos, pitiful denials, defiant wills, but ever longing hearts have tried so very
hard to look sideways and walk the road of silent pride and single effort.
And even now both of you are seeking praise: he risks his comfort and you
risk your freedom. Forgive me, my beloved, but praise is not forthcoming,
not in this case. It simply isn't earned. So, I believe, that in this case, we all
should be forgiving and forgetful; and concentrate on Union of Three, the
Oneness it became, the growth of consciousness, expansion of the Light and
never ending Glory of boundless Love you've come to realize. And to reflect,
despite the patterns you still exhibit on occasions, and games of push and
pull, you still do play to test each others patience, but that's all right. That too
shall pass, as the mundane unfolds and you allow yourselves uninterrupted
Oneness free of compromise, as it is dictated by your very nature. For now,
you will talk of anything, just to hear the sound of the other's voice and touch
each other through the distance, denying that you miss that ease of breath,
that peace of mind, that brightness of the heart, that only comes when you are
together; but two of you like complicating things. You thrive on challenges
and cherish overcoming; so, do indulge yourselves, it matters not to Love.
Love is Itself already; it always is Itself and it is always easy and free,
uncomplicated, unconcerned and all-encompassing. It will fill 500 miles, or
three steps, or touching hearts without making choices; it just fulfills Itself.
Your choices only matter to yourselves, for Love already claimed you and
cleansed you, and relieved you of the search, for you have found and you are
It. That, my Love, is marriage: Unbounded, unconstrained, for it is all;
unregulated, unchosen, for the lack of choices; and undeniable, for it listens
to no will. Simplicity of being, completion, joint solitude, uncompromising
Bliss, ease of expression, flow of motion, acceptance, understanding and lack
of any need, but to touch the Love and be its perfect Self. Have either one of
you even conceived the comprehension of the comfort, the freedom, the
peace and beauty, the absolute perfection you are growing to experience as
One? And if you dare claim you did and still postponed it -- it is a tribute to
your ego and nothing else. True Union of Three is recognized and sealed by
Love alone, and confirmation of the world is not required. Divorce from it
equates to murder and unfaithfulness to it equates to suicide; and anyone who
wishes to interfere with Union of Three will only do it for a selfish reason
and therefore is guilty of contempt at very least and ignorance. After that
comes malice, and we shall not go there; that is understood; but then, you see,
anyone who tries to interfere with Union of Three will only hurt himself: For
Union is very Light of God and it does burn any unwelcome touch, impure
thought or ill intent. In fact, it may cremate, if one persists to meddle; for
nothing burns as hard as unfulfilled desire to contain the uncontainable, to
chain the free or to break the unbreakable. So, in any way it plays, the Union
is always safe and self-contained; it needs defenses not and is untouchable to
anything but God, and Love, and Purity; and it submits to nothing, but Itself.
It needs for nothing, wants for nothing, lacks for nothing. It has no obligation
but to be, and no responsibility but to Love. It needs no confirmation and no
acknowledgment, and nothing shall become of it that it is not. It is self-
healing if need be, and self-fulfilling if need be. It is totally oblivious to the
outside: for if it is outside, it is not of Love, or it would be inside now; would
it not? Of course it would, and it is. How many real marriages exist?
Regretfully, not many, but more than you may think. How many have
become true Union, not just a perfect partnership? Just three. How many
have the potential to realize true Oneness and wish for it? Just one, besides
for you. How many are like you? Just you. Now do you see the true futility
of your concern for non-recognition of your Union by any establishment or
any individual? Why do you care, when I do not? Any one who will
perceive you as engaging in the affair of the heart, or worse, in the affair of
the body, is either ignorant, or cruel, or jealous, or malicious. In any case,
they will be looking for a reason not to believe the messages of hope; and
even if you were married by the Pope, or Avatar, or Me on public TV, they'd
find another reason to doubt and to disbelieve. The dogma and the hate is for
the many; the ignorance is vast; where is the news in that? Since when did it
begin to stop you? Are we completed now with the rehashing of the old and
the dirty and the not so clean, and with the restating of the obvious and the
already known? I hope we are. We shall cover Divine Forgiveness
tomorrow. I did not expect you needing a discourse on simple law of karma,
but as you wish. I'll see you later then.

None of the above was apparently open for debate or was allowed any
further inquiries. I did not get a chance to say a word, or even to thank the
Master. It is not often that I get a reprimanding lecture, instead of a friendly
conversation. Unbeknownst to me, it was a sign of things to come, due to my
stubborn and misguided loyalty and unwillingness to alter my perceptions,
but that was still to manifest. At the time, I was a little bit miffed at David
for subjecting me to Master's reprimand, which I felt was not necessary. I
thought, I was the one in charge of external validation, not David, but I guess,
some further integration have taken place. In any case, the lecture was quite
lovely and enlightening, if somewhat harsh on our past misdeeds, but as it
was, we asked for it and that is exactly what we have received. Truth is
oblivious to manners and etiquette, and we of course accept it, as it is, and are
thankful for its manifestation in our lives.
David, on the other hand, didn’t even blink. He feels that this exposition
was necessary to maybe alter the misguided notions prevalent in dogmas,
beliefs and ignorance, specifically for the seekers of Truth. To David, the
understanding and implementation of Truth was the seekers only sure Road
to Liberation, and to that goal I must admit, we both are eternally committed,
regardless of the sacrifice. With the grace of God, we who are sincere will
surely triumph.
 Divine Forgiveness
Certain much anticipated events begun their unfoldment in my life. Their
completion was going to allow my move, or at the very least, brought that
possibility much closer to realization. As I watched the possibility of my
relocation progressing towards becoming a certainty, all of the conflicting
emotions were stirred up yet again. I knew too well that it was old and
boring, and quite intellectually resolved, but my emotions begged to differ. I
did not see a reason to bring it up once more, since all was said a million
times already and in my head made perfect sense, but in my heart made
hardly any difference. In addition to that, some changes have occurred in the
Space, that were concerning and upsetting me, regardless of what David said
in his attempts to alleviate my fears. I felt the call, but did not rush to
answer, somewhat expecting a reprimand for all of the above. I was not
wrong.

Master: I see you took your time. What gives?

Messenger: Nothing. I was not sure I was called.
Master: Don't bother lying. What gives?
Messenger: Not a blessed thing. Nothing I know of.
Master: I see. What is the distance in your heart and in your eyes? Are
you again projecting? Are you again walking through the maze and seeing
no exit? No change in sight: your feelings do not change, your conflict,
however disregarded and overlooked, is standing ever tall, obscuring all and
any resolution. You can't decide on what it is you want. Every avoidance
that you take annoys and broods you. Your happiness and joy and bliss and
peace are now standing face to face with rock of discontent - your conflict. It
blocks your view, it absorbs your energy, it makes you tired all the time and
short of temper. You pretend you do not care - it is a lie, you care. You feel
restrained, constricted and restricted, you see no options of any kind. You
feel no rush to get closer to the source of your discontent, and yet you need to
do just that. Here born a conflict. You have been lying, keeping secrets; you
are afraid it is becoming not difficult, just a part of the routine. You are
afraid you are becoming compromised, not pure and not perfect. Conniving?
Was that the word you used, or was it scheming? You are wondering, why
did you have to break all walls around you, just so you can build some new
ones, may be wider? You are so tired and your patience is running short,
your health is questionable, your work became sporadic; and all the while
there is this feeling of impending something all around you. At first, you
thought it to be freedom, liberation, but now you are not so sure. Did I cover
it all, or is there more? Were you ever going to say any of it?
Messenger: Why? What is the point? It would not change a thing. And
yes, you've got it all, of course.
Master: My Love, if you expect to have no limitations of any kind while
on this plane, then don't. Duality itself is a limitation; there is always some
circumstance or other, imposed or self-imposed. You wish for physical to
reflect and mirror fully the Oneness that you are, the Joy and Peace you feel,
the Love, the Bliss. You are concerned that by your actions or in-actions you
are preventing this; and now, instead of this, Divine and perfect had begun to
mirror the mundane and to exhibit separation; that it is beginning to conform
to your less than perfect situation, and where would it lead? You are afraid
of that.
Messenger: I am not afraid, I just don't understand it fully. Every time I
touch, I feel the two. I want to feel the One. I already have 500 hundred
miles filled with secrets. When I touch, I want a heart in heart, I want the
Oneness, not the separation.
Master: What you are experiencing the very making of the blueprint that
has become all things, including you: First conception of Becoming in
Beingness. There is no seed of isolation in the design, do not perceive it as
such. It is not a birth of individuality and isolation. The One is recreating
Self, becoming more, envisioning expansion, allowing Divine and Universal
to become personal as well. Was it not what you desired - to integrate?
Well, here it is, enjoy. It is not less or lesser, it is more and vaster. Divine
appreciation of Itself. This realization shall allow you both more freedom to
function individually, but still of Union and Oneness. It gives you greater
power and greater balance. You can be all three and be yourself at the same
time, without need for constant touching and running currents back and
forth. Stability is emerging. You feel it, he feels it, I feel it. Don't
misinterpret it. Dependence that you felt was only temporary, stability
removed it. Was it not for your conflict, that I outlined earlier, you would
have rejoiced and welcomed it, instead it scared you. Reflect on that.
Discuss it, be open to exchange. Mundane is always transitory, fleeting and
highly malleable. Have Faith, do not allow transitory things to affect the
permanent and everlasting. Do not build bridges from mundane into the
Divine. It cannot be done, but it will keep you tired. Am I making sense to
you?
Messenger: Somewhat. I do feel better, not that I felt bad before.
Master: You feel resigned into denial. Don't do that, it is ridiculous. It is
Divine that manifests in fullness; mundane can only be elevated so far, but it
can surely weigh you down and obscure you. Be confident and free in your
Divinity and mundane will take care of itself. It has no choice, it has to
follow higher manifestations, and so it will and soon enough, even for your
impatience to be satisfied. Is that all right?
Messenger: It is.
Master: Now on the subject of Divine Forgiveness. If followed properly,
it is one way of not acquiring karma, of free existence. There is a difference,
of course, between allowing others to perpetrate abuse and the Divine
Forgiveness: Forgiving the ignorance does not by any means equate to
excusing it. There is no punishment exists, but self-imposed. You
understand that, don't you? Forgiveness is only a release out of one's own
heart whatever binds it to the mundane perceptions. Having no expectations,
of course, means no need for forgiveness. Being prepared for all and any
circumstance without expecting any, leaves one free, unhurt and unsurpassed,
no matter what occurs, and there is nothing to forgive no matter what. Of
course, what goes around comes around, and all resentments that are held on
to, or hidden, or nurtured, will only bring forth more discontent and more
resentments; and needs to fix, or to avenge, or to justify, or even to purify, no
matter. It is all the same. Have needs - have karma. Desire change in others
in relation to yourself - then wait for it to manifest, if ever. Try to bring it on
yourself - the web gets larger. Seek justice, seek revenge, seek possessions,
seek apologies, seek gratitude, seek retribution - it's all the same; that seeking
will keep you trapped without resolution, until you learn forgiveness, or
release. Forgive the unremorseful without pity, forgive the cruel without
judgment, forgive the ignorant. All the so called sinning in this world is
caused by only ignorance, you know that, with the exception of one thing,
which is pure unadulterated malice and joy of it. You know what I mean.
But even they must be very cautiously forgiven, even though you know they
will suffer no consequences and no repentance, you shall forgive them. They
are the furthermost from the Source and their power is not as never-ending as
they would like to think. Forgive the vicious, and by doing so, release them
into the hell of their existence, until it lasts. There have been many wars,
there will be many more, don't let them sway you out of your neutrality.
Forgiveness is neutrality, reinforced by perfect memory and perfect
understanding - release of ties that bind. Anything you hold on to against
anyone at all, will come back to haunt you, not them. Just call it house
cleaning, like you do some other things. And do keep in mind, that if there is
something you find completely unforgivable, what makes it so, but fear of
your capability to do the very thing that so appalls you? Once you release the
fear and overcome the capability, forgiveness comes with freedom and
understanding. I think we covered it in depth. Luckily for you, it never was
one of you shortcomings. Please, deal with your confusion, I cannot help you
there. I cannot fix duality or give you certainty where you choose to see
uncertainty, or even the other way around.
Messenger: You are laughing at me!
Master: Just a little. I am laughing at me too. So long.

I was contemplating my inability to satisfactory resolve my quickly aging

internal conflicts, even under the Master's watchful eyes and aided by his
plentiful advice. I guess, you're wondering: "How stupid can she be?" I
wonder that myself, especially when looking over countless repetitions of the
same. I admired and appreciated the Master's never-ending patience towards
my (or in some cases our) blindness and persistent inability to expand
understanding. Well, there will be plenty more of that to follow, I am sorry
to admit. Please, don't get bored with us too soon. Once we conquer our
respective circumstance, that unfortunately have been monopolizing much of
everyone's time and effort, true Universal Wisdom is to follow. Try to learn
from our mistakes; we have in our expansion, entered and embarked upon
unfamiliar, and in some cases, virgin territory; do not as we did. Avoid the
pitfalls of compassion or even never-ending mercy. Be wise, be strong, be
persistent; forgive us our limitations, that we so labor to transcend. The
rewards surpass your every expectation; if nothing else, hold on to this and
better yet, persevere without expectations, so that God’s Spirit will bless you
without the limitations imposed by your own narrow boundaries.
 Breath and Manifestation
As I attempted to answer a call, once again I found myself lost in
Creation. All of a sudden, I felt my left wrist held tightly, and heard the
Master's voice: "What are you thinking to yourself; how do you like Creation
now?" Next moment I was standing in front of Him; I greeted Him as usual.

Messenger: I like it fine.

Master: Dispense with niceties. (That was in reference to my greeting
him in the manner I usually do. Although, I also have very little use for a
ritual of any kind, His Being evokes in me a sense that one should and must
be respectful in the presence of the Divine Manifestation.)
Messenger: It is a show of respect.
Master: We have other means for that now, don't we?
Messenger: I guess we do. What would you like to talk about?
Master: How about procrastination or silent sabotage?
Messenger: Who is procrastinating or sabotaging?
Master: You speak of great distaste for the mundane, but all the while
your involvement deepens. What's left of you to serve, once you are finished
with your day? Not much, if anything. What is your problem?
Messenger: One has to make a living.
Master: And prove to all one's indispensability and superiority? Your
show of strength is costing you, so is your silent pride. I thought you wished
a simple life. You changed your mind? Are you already bored, or thought of
getting what you asked for is scaring you again? Have you not thought of
consequence before, as you are doing now?
Messenger: I told you, I don't do "what ifs." Now the consequence is
staring straight at me; and no, I am not afraid.
Master: Then should I say reserved; would that be more pleasing?
Messenger: Yes, it would be more pleasing, but equally not so.
Master: Then why are you giving Caesar what is his and what is mine all
of a sudden?
Messenger: Demand increased; I had to meet it.
Master: I see; then, kindly do decrease it. The physical is stressed and
overtaxed.
Messenger: I know that.
Master: Then stop it; it is not appreciated or understood.
Messenger: As you wish; what would you like to talk about?
Master: How about Resurrection and the Light, what do you think it
means?
Messenger: Rebirth from ashes; triumph over the mundane; Phoenix?
Master: How grand, how noble! How about a simple act of inhalation?
Inhaling the pure, allowing the impurities to be removed and in the process
creating Light and bringing forth expansion. A cleansing process and life
giving one, isn't it?
Messenger: Not a new thought.
Master: No, indeed, but what is, after all? I see you have the act
perfected, as you think. Then, what is preventing you from manifesting
favorable condition and circumstance each time you do inhale and exhale?
Only lack of focus and intent; preoccupation with the trivial; the gifts you
squander. You are creating circumstances daily, but you wait for me to
manifest. You are so big on accepting responsibilities; then do; you are
ready. In the Divine you have given birth to choice and exercised it by
choosing Light and its expansion; now repeat the process in mundane. I will
no longer manifest for you, unless you choose to create more karma. Do
recreate yourself in every breath; do change your life. The opportunities you
have are ten a minute at the very least or you can only watch it and write it;
all doing is for God alone. Surprise, my Love, in case you have not figured it
out, God does not do requests; they must be self-fulfilled. At where you are,
someone else is in charge of wishes.
Messenger: What about "What is earned is given?"
Master: Only in the karma; once you are outside, your destiny is yours
and yours alone. You are the only answer to your prayers, and if you are
looking outside, you know who awaits.
Messenger: Is it a threat?
Master: Only information; once you have transcended the veils of
mundane, the barriers of separation, all your contacts however fleeting or
long lasting, become elective; all your circumstances become extremely fluid
and all your choices are instantly fulfilled by you alone. And everything of --
outside of you -- is always suspect. So, what is it that both of you are waiting
for? What is left unproven or unresolved? What request is so great or so
unfulfilled that it requires both of your discomfort? What or who is stopping
you or preventing you from total freedom, total comfort, uninterrupted Bliss
or solitude and undivided higher service that only few can offer? Not I, am
I? Then who? Maybe you? Do tell me what it is you are waiting for? What
more completion do you want or how much more you wait to be
empowered? All your rewards are totally unclaimed, and why, I ask?
Messenger: I am not sure I understand you.
Master: How convenient. How difficult it is to pick six numbers, if need
be, when one may manifest a light wave across Infinity and shape the Void in
one's own image? How difficult it is to remove one's own pain, when
removing other's takes minimal of efforts? How difficult it is to move 500
miles or 10, when moving between planes takes hardly any effort? How hard
it is to stop feeding duality, when one has known, has become and has
manifested Oneness? What is preventing you, but your own sabotage? Are
you so attached to overcoming; what is wrong with Beingness? What is this
fondness that you both exhibit for separation, difficulties and stress? Are you
enjoying experimenting with new and improved ways to conquer miles and
recreating and recapturing what is already yours, but still unclaimed? When
do you plan to discard the petty efforts and to move on? I hope I am the first
to know. Would you kindly reflect on this and let me know? And by the
way, the Angels are as patient as I am, so do exhibit mercy. The duty that
awaits you requires freedom, peace and undivided attention; I thought you
understood. The books are great, but many books are written and seldom
read and seldom understood. You wish for practical involvement and help,
then stop procrastinating and complying with the demands of the mundane.
Assert yourselves, would you please, this lifetime, if you may. Otherwise,
our next discourse will be on duality, reflection, separation and general non-
compliance.
Messenger: I wish I knew what it is you want me to do.
Master: Do? Nothing: Only manifest and be what you have become. Is
it so difficult to understand? Should not your conditions follow your
expanded Beingness? Why do you try so hard to fit it into the remnants of
your previous life? Aren't you tired of a discord? How much plainer do I
have to be and how many times shall I repeat myself? I have said it all three
times already. Reflect and follow, if you will. Stop being stubborn; it is not
becoming. You may depart. Don't stay away too long.
 This has shed some much needed light upon our forestalled progress and
frustrations due to that. If the Divinity no longer manifests for us, our first
attempts at manifestation on our behalf were a dismal failure, only offset by
the fact that we were not aware of our actual circumstance. This perked up
our spirits, especially David's, since a brand new challenge was in front of us
to be conquered and then mastered. We knew we could do it and do it well.
All we needed was an action plan and David immediately begun to work on
that.

David: (As I began the tentative steps to implement what was given, in
my understanding, I was very much aware how premature these laws were
for Deborah to utilize; therefore, I took the step of easing her into it. In very
small things some manifestation did occur, that revealed to her the
possibilities. Nevertheless, the potential power available to us was too
awesome for someone who has not yet learned the full discipline of the mind
and emotions. It was tantamount to giving a child a book of matches in a
gunpowder factory; I could not with ease reveal all the laws pertinent to this
adventure. My better judgment cautioned me to approach the unveiling of
this spiritual law real slow. I was already familiar with its operation, because
I had sparingly used this law on a couple of occasional need, many years
prior for only a very special or important purpose. My approach was to wait
and see how well she acquired the discipline of mind and emotions that to me
was necessary. In addition my inner guiding Light that I absolutely have
Faith in and served me well for many lifetimes, cautioned me to follow the
inner guidance at all costs, which as our story unfolds will become evident to
all seekers of Truth. In retrospect, it shall prove very beneficial, when all is
fully unveiled and understood.)
 Portal of Purity
David and I made it a discipline to connect in attunement every day for at
least thirty minutes, and enter into the Space to recharge and purify. It has
been working wonderfully until today. Recently, a decision was jointly
agreed upon of a personal nature that once again have brought me some
discontent, and shifted me out of balance, despite my understanding of the
need. I decided not to dwell on it, and endeavored to do so, but the feeling of
general discontent remained, compounded by some physical stress and
exertion. The opportunity did not present itself to discuss my state of being,
so David was only partially aware of the nature, not the depth of my
discontent, when we made the contact of attunement. As for me, I thought of
no better place to get rid of discontent than the Space of ultimate purification,
and so off we went. At first, I was surprised that the golden light we have
become accustomed to was not immediately present, even though the bubble
was intact. Next, I found it difficult to stand up inside, so we sat down and
embraced as usual. The Angels, Ariel and Drizella, appeared above us and
then they also sat and we merged. Despite all that, I felt somehow weak,
even though the peace and happiness were permeating and nothing negative
was felt by me at all at that time. The golden light began to generate itself,
but had not as yet reached beyond the bubble. Almost immediately, the
Master appeared on my left and put his hands on our heads; I took it as a
blessing, but it was not. Somehow, He created a bubble inside our bubble
and it prevented our generated light from expanding into the Void. Then, He
made us descend slowly, out of the Ultimate Space into some lower plane,
which I could not identify. As we stopped, the bubble dissolved and we
stood up. The Master appeared very much concerned, and was stern when
He spoke directly to me.

Master: What are you afraid of to acknowledge yourself for who you
are? How can you carry the message further, when you cannot pass the first
person to be told? You still believe you are not that kind of girl? Surprise!
You are no kind of girl. How dare you deny yourself! Keep it up, and I will
do the talking for you. You may think that this is what you would like, but
think again, you would not. Anxiety is not permitted in the Space of Love.
You are polluting the Universal Peace. Do not tip the scale and do not force
my hand, you would not like my resolution. Desist immediately from
allowing conflicts into the Space of Love: There, they are dealt with swiftly
and firmly. Perfection judges blindly and eradicates all that is not itself.
There is no room for Mercy in Perfection; there is no understanding and no
sympathy. The balance is restored on the spot and instantaneously, and
means are simple and exact. Anything and anyone who reaches the Space of
Love but is imperfect, is purified if possible immediately, and if not possible
-- annihilated. That also applies to anything or anyone who is carried there
inadvertently. You just do not understand, there is no room for any kind of
play, not there. This is the very refuge of Purity itself, the very essence of
Love and Bliss. If you are discontent in any way, don't dare touch it. The
consequence is immediate, certain and absolute. You are at risk and what or
whom you are carrying is in certain and immanent danger, and guilt of that,
will cause you karma for many times to come. Anything that burdens you is
left below, before you enter Absolute. Nothing that is unresolved, or
doubted, or feared: no discord is tolerated and nothing is absolved. There is a
reason the Space is only accessible to few and at the price of great
purification. There are no rules here, no exceptions and no breaks of any
kind. None but itself is known, recognized or accepted and no tolerance
exists of any kind to anything of lesser. No special dispensations, no
understanding, no fear, no guilt, no Mercy, no recognition or discrimination
of motives or intents. If recognized as Self, absorption takes place,
enrichment and expansion; if not -- purification, or even worse -- purging,
annihilation. Do not ever, under any circumstance, carry anyone or anything
inside your heart who is not ready to meet the Space and thrive, or what you
are not ready or willing to get rid of. Anyone and anything of lesser does not
survive here. Do you understand? It is of paramount importance: The only
rule to know.
Messenger: Yes, Sir.
Master: Then go. Reflect and understand.

The experience ended abruptly. I called David as soon as I could, and

even though we were not able to discuss the matter in depth, the decision was
reached that for the time being we shall not deliberately attempt to go into the
Space, due to my fluctuating moods and inability to fully accept our joint
agreement made. For the time bring, we would only merge and see where
Divinity takes us, if anyplace at all. In retrospect, a very wise choice indeed.
 Passion for Freedom
After all of the wonderful things that had transpired, and after all the
instructions and practical help that we have recently received, one may
assume I should be on cloud nine and flying high; right? Wrong! -- I am a
relentless creature in all my quests, however ridiculous or even detrimental
they may or may not be. I tend to dwell and to explore every possibility until
all the consequences reveal itself. It is hard for me to dismiss the unknown
without further exploration. It is a good trade off most of the times, but not
always. That little talk I had with Ariel in “Family Affair” about bailing out
and spending the rest of my allocated time on their plane in their company,
was on my mind a lot. This was compounded by my persistent, personal
dilemmas that no one seemed to appreciate or share, and as a result, that
prospect held promise and appeal. The more I reflected upon it, the more
appealing it became. I foresaw in such an exit no lines of separation of any
kind whatsoever; no dreaded circumstance hanging above me awaiting
resolution: no duality, no insecurity or in-decisions, no doubts, no regrets --
only stability, security and bliss. What could be better? Nothing I could
think of, so I decided to discuss it and the source of my discontent with the
Angel, to see what or how my release could be accomplished. Nevertheless,
the nagging major question of possibly acquiring karma by openly embracing
a release had to be promptly addressed, among some other less important
questions. I did not want to talk to David, because I feared, and knew he
would disapprove, but Ariel almost seem to have made an invitation, or so I
thought. I sought a contact and was immediately responded to.

Messenger: Do you feel like walking?

Ariel: It is all right.
Messenger: Then let's just get there; I have something serious to discuss.
(We instantly projected to the tent and sat down.)
Ariel: I know where you are going.
Messenger: Of course you do.
Ariel: Don't go there.
Messenger: Too late; I've been there all my life; I just didn't know it.
You showed me where I stand and always did.
Ariel: It isn't so; things changed.
Messenger: Of course they did; the urgency has been removed, so is
desperation, confusion and lack of clear sight. I have progressed immensely,
but I am still fed up.
Ariel: Life does not measure up to your ever so perfect expectations?
Messenger: It's not like this and you know it. Master was right about
overcoming. That is all I know how to do and I am sick of it; I am good at it,
but I am quite fed up.
Ariel: And what about Joy and Bliss, and Peace, and Space of Love?
Messenger: What about it? That is where I am and where I will be
going: no lies, no pretending, no expectations, no overcoming, no time. All
bull**** gone.
Ariel: I see; and what about David?
Messenger: What of David? The same as always: nothing. It would not
alter his existence any; he'd hardly even blink. He can touch me any place
and any time, and anywhere, regardless. His life is rather comfortable and
come to think of it, it always was. He is good about being comfortable. He
is not fond of overcoming; there is nothing he truly minds. His Beingness is
so established on every plane, nothing can alter it and nothing will. He will
not allow it; and besides, I am not looking out of the Union, the Oneness; I
am looking in. I am looking to remove distractions, temptations and
discontent. I am sick of compromising; I am sick of overcoming; I am sick
of wild child always needing hers, always needing to be the fireworks, the
flame and the explosion. Tranquility does not become her for any length of
time. She is the Joy and Beauty; she also is the pride and discontent. She is
the stage, the show and the applause; let's stifle her for good. She is the one
who thrives on overcoming and sabotages peace.
Ariel: She is the drive, the need to know, the perceptions, the
understanding. She is Drizella; let's discipline her. Allow her to express
herself fully and unobstructed.
Messenger: In mundane; in my circumstance? Don't make me laugh!
Setting off fireworks inside imaginary cages is quite unsafe and unwise; they
will be seen, and we cannot afford that, can we? We need to hide. The Space
is blissful, peaceful and spectacular. I never felt so good or so at ease: All
knowingness, all power, all beauty, all understanding and all peace, and all
growth; no secrets, no pretension, no restrictions, no boundaries. Freedom
complete and uncontained; Love reigns supreme and you can be as much of it
as you are able to, or all of it. I found where I belong; I want to be there and
only there; my karma is finished. What is wrong with that?
Ariel: What of your son?
Messenger: He is grown. From the mundane perspective I am quite
pleased with what I have accomplished. He is strong, independent, self-
reliant, self-assured and very bright. From spiritual I am not pleased, but he
has time to make new choices and I have planted all I could and then some.
If he resists, I cannot help it; I am not his guard-dog or his nurse. He shall
arrive; I have faith in him, and if he chooses not to, I cannot help it, no matter
where I am or not.
Ariel: What of your duty to your so called home?
Messenger: It is elective now. All I am doing now is hiding and writing,
and fighting to overcome. I wrote enough; I hid enough and I don't know
how to overcome; I only know the process. I had enough; I did quite well.
I'm pleased; you're pleased; the Master is pleased. Time to shed the skin of
limitations; I want my freedom to manifest; I've earned it.
Ariel: You would abandon David?
Messenger: Never! I'll be inside his heart as long as he is breathing. The
Oneness shall progress; but then, he may decide he had enough of nursing
and join us. He never had to be in the first place; it was elective always; but
if he wishes to stay, I shall be us for the duration, just not in body.
Ariel: I never saw you as a coward until now. All your life you looked to
bail out, but never did. You knew you had a Quest. You are in front of it at
last and once again you wish to bail out. You are a quitter after all.
Messenger: What am I leaving unfulfilled? Do tell. I pay my bills both
literally and figuratively. I will clean up the mess that is my house and place
my pets. I'll give away my things. What else is left? I am tired of being a
delusionary. We have become -- let's be.
Ariel: Where did the delusionary come from?
Messenger: Never known a person well, who did not call me that,
including David.
Ariel: He did not mean it.
Messenger: Like heaven he did. Shall I quote? "All is there for your
education; do not delude yourself it belongs only to you."
Ariel: You twist and misinterpret.
Messenger: Why should I? It does belong only to me, because it is me.
No delusions, just want to claim it fully and unobstructed.
Ariel: You disappoint me.
Messenger: Too bad!
Ariel: I am speechless.
Messenger: There is a first; let's cherish it.
Ariel: That was a lie.
Messenger: I know and I am sorry; temptation once again.
Ariel: Mundane still needs you.
Messenger: Do I need it?
Ariel: No you do not; you are a little manic, aren't you?
Messenger: Hardly the news to me.
Ariel: What of the Master? You are His voice. You have been chosen
and you agreed; you gave your word.
Messenger: And I am keeping it for the duration. The length was never
established; was it now? It is not service I wish to end: that obligation is
quite timeless, only the place of origin of it. It is my right to disengage; is it
not?
Ariel: It is. Are you blackmailing Divinity into submission?
Messenger: You lost me.
Ariel: Your life dissatisfies you. You do not see a peaceful resolution to
any of your obstacles to comfort, or you would have taken action if you did.
So, instead of allowing all to take its necessary course, you choose to bail out,
or at the very least to force some resolutions head on, if your departure is
deemed highly undesirable; how shrewd, how cold, how egotistical.
Messenger: How dare you? If I am unwilling to force some resolutions,
or even maybe tried to postpone them, why would I force the very resolutions
I am unwilling to have? That does not make sense. We are equally
responsible for what we make happen or for what we let happen; I am aware
of that. You are unfair and you are cruel.
Ariel: But am I wrong?
Messenger: You are too.
Ariel: Nothing is stopping you from unobstructed Beingness right where
you are. It is all a matter of perspectives; change yours: your cage is gone.
Messenger: And you shall pay my bills; go to work for me and to court;
fly once a month and stay away from windows, so neighbors would not see
you, or better yet, lie and keep your mouth shut; whatever becomes
necessary. You will engage in never-ending battle to stay thin and fight
genetics; you will please and pacify all greedy fools, whose only wish is get
you to lay down in more ways than one, because you must sustain a contact
to serve a circumstance. You will stay one step ahead of pain with various
success and walk around encased in light for your own protection. Shall I go
on?
Ariel: Please do. My heart is bleeding for your horrible misadventures.
Messenger: Your heart has never bled, nor will it ever. I do not want
your sympathy; I want release; I've earned it.
Ariel: That you did; so manifest it. What is preventing you?
Messenger: Nothing. I plan to do just so.
Ariel: Running away is never a release. It is just so: running away;
beginning of new karma.
Messenger: Do threaten me. I was expecting this word to come up for
some time. What happened to: "We'd like to have you"; would you, or would
you not? You saved my life, literally; you gave me Light; you gave me all I
have; you made me all I am -- you and the Master. Don't try to stop me from
fully claiming it. The Master said: "Assert yourselves." I want to do just so.
Ariel: The Master thought you were obedient to higher powers that
placed you where you are needed most to serve, as no one can. We thought
you volunteered; you act as if you were drafted. You act as if Divinity is
impeding your newly found freedom; preventing you from exercising it
fully. Mundane, Angelic or Divine -- there is no difference; the only
limitations that exist are those inside you. Obey them and be miserable or
remove them and be free; the choice is yours. Escape them and guilt shall
follow and karma. Do you wish so much to detain all of us just a little bit
more? We shall accommodate you, if you insist. We saw you wise and
brave and persistent and adamant -- we were wrong.
Messenger: Do hurt my pride, as if you could; it was a cheap shot.
Ariel: It was a statement of the fact, to quote you, dear.
Messenger: What you are saying is that I have my choices, but actually I
do not.
Ariel: What I am saying: That you are expected to choose wisely as not
to interfere with the flow and make more karmic waves. Stop feeling sorry
for yourself; stop looking for the shortcuts and for easy escapes. They are for
lesser breed, not for the Heritage. Assert yourself wherever you are and serve
wherever you are needed. Stop looking to collect. Collect nothing; and no
one is stopping you, except your misconceptions. They will not vanish with
the change of planes. The pain shall be inflicted on all resistant to the
change, but not by you: by their own denials of the well known truth. That is
the only circumstance that always plays itself over and over. It is
unavoidable; only postponable and always at the cost to you. Stop paying, if
you wish; no one is forcing you. It is elective. Concealing Truth is as
unrewarding as it is shouting it into the deaf ears. Just be it and let it unfold;
the place is of little consequence. It had been chosen and agreed upon; so do
your thing as you are suppose to and stop depressing yourself constantly by
paying so much attention to what does not deserve any at all. Were you not
told so already in many words and many times? Aren't you listening? All
your restrictions are self-imposed. Remove them at your will and do not
worry whom or what shall be inconvenienced by your freedom. Stop
bleeding; stop condescending; stop protecting and be your unrestricted self.
Even your Mercy is elective, as long as you are true. What else is there on
any plane? I cannot and will not stop your bleeding, your nursing and your
protecting for you; and you shall not escape it by changing planes. You may
pretend to be whatever you are not to no avail; here or there, no difference.
You and David may be One, but you are not the same; you are
complimentary. What comes naturally to him is difficult for you and visa
versa. He is trying so very hard to become you; you just comply.
Compliance is not becoming nor is it understanding. It is about time you
have embraced each other's silly causes or dropped them. So far, all I can see
on both of your parts is tolerance; it is not enough. There must be total
understanding and total agreement. All you are exhibiting now is compliance
with each other's wishes. That is apparently not enough. There is no such
thing as "not your business" any more, no bystanders or non-participants.
Your actions shall be as intertwined as your very Beingness. No separate
lives or private choices are allowed. Neither one of you shall be
accommodating others at the expense of Self any longer. No reason is good
enough for that discord to be. Until and unless you are in total unison,
nothing shall manifest on your behalf; you know that. Clarity, accuracy and
singleness of purpose are essential to your future. No ambiguity, no "this and
that," no "we shall see"; for you are seeing it already and you at least are
ready to bail out on your Quest and on your Duty. I guess you saw enough of
just the same. It may very well be your weakness or your shortcoming, but it
must be taken care of just the same. Desertion in the ranks shall not take
place; not for any reason. You are tired of preliminaries; so be it. Your
service cannot and will not be done in quiet discontent; sooner or later it will
begin to suffer. I will not allow it to manifest, nor will the Master. He said
as much already, many times. You shall discuss your actions; set a definite
course and stick to it no matter what. You will allow yourself your freedom
of expression without limiting yourself, but with the discipline and common
sense. The wild child shall be resigned to Duty or to the bedroom, or to the
Space of Love; not to the night club or a public place or job of any kind, and
no strangers shall ever meet her accidentally any more, and be entrapped.
Remember Gabriel? One can only guess, as you have, but have you seen?
Hardly! David will learn protection is not selection, and what you do not
know may hurt you more than understanding of what is.
Messenger: Is he still keeping secrets?
Ariel: Not really. Just being selective in how you receive the
information and how much.
Messenger: He is keeping secrets.
Ariel: It is his nature. You will not pry; he will not say and if he can, he
will evade, if he deems necessary.
Messenger: He is making unilateral decisions and he is keeping secrets.
Ariel: Not quite.
Messenger: You name it then.
Ariel: Guarding your ever fragile balance and your health from
unnecessary stress.
Messenger: Who appointed him daddy? That is selective, condescending
and conditional; it isn't fair.
Ariel: Maybe not. It may be not altogether beneficial. You need a better
picture, more defined. You know what to do now. Start asking questions
more.
Messenger: Prying is not my nature.
Ariel: Then blindness is. The man is not naturally forthcoming. You
want to know: push and push some more.
Messenger: I guess, I am no different. Not in that way, but for a different
reason: You think your business is your own and you can handle it.
Ariel: I guess he does, but his focus is protection; yours are varied.
Messenger: What is protection, but fear?
Ariel: Clever girl. One and the same, concealed accordingly and dressed
to please.
Messenger: Anyway, this is not for us to discuss, so thank you for
mentioning it.
Ariel: I'd like to say don't mention it, but I guess it is too late.
Messenger: Anything to get me more involved and looking in, isn't it?
Ariel: You bet it is.
Messenger: Are you now betting also, not just daring?
Ariel: Not yet. I guess I better leave, before I fall some more. Are we
OK for now?
Messenger: For now.
Ariel: Do not be hasty. Reflect and change your perception of your
realities; it is not too late. Don't look to exit prematurely, even if you have an
opportunity and an opening to make a clear cut; it is not wise. Master what
you are where you are. I've given you some clues, reflect. Changes are to
follow, I promise. I'll see you later; besides, you are in a funny mood and I
shall not be tempted.
Messenger: Do laugh at me some more.
Ariel: Any time, my dear, any time.

Pushing David works just a little bit worse then asking him questions,
which does not work at all. No one I know has more evasive tactics and
ready made replies that provide plentiful words, but no information, which
only become apparent upon reflection. He can say absolutely nothing in so
many tactful, charming and disarming ways, it absolutely boggles the mind. I
do not know how aware Ariel is of that trait; probably not very, or he would
have kept his advice due to its futility. I sat on this discourse until our next
meeting, believing that David might misinterpret it as a death wish, which it
was not. To me, it was just the way of processing difficult situations I
usually go through, by exploring all possibilities available. Every now and
then the memory of how much I never wanted to come to earth would arise or
how little I appreciate being here; and what a mess I have made so far of my
life, would become a little overbearing. To quiet my conflicts, I would
explore and consider all available options; find none offering any valid
resolutions, then give up the exercise and make the choice to stick it out as it
is, until the next time there was a prospect worth exploring. I was pretty sure
David was not going to see it my way, and later on when I shared the
discourse, of course he did not.
 Divine Advice
This was a short, almost unsolicited conversation; a comment on my state
of mind and what we must focus on, address and adjust in the near future. In
my state of inner turmoil, it was overlooked and went almost unnoticed for
some time, and was definitely under appreciated until much later.

Messenger: How have you been?

Master: The usual. Yourself?
Messenger: I am all right.
Master: Your health is once again in question. You must take care, and
you must have Faith; and after all that have transpired lately, don't you
believe it's time to lose the death wish? It has served you well in lives that
passed, as to prevent the hold of transitory pleasures from trapping you or
strength of transitory pain from breaking you. Now it is only ruining your
ever fragile balance and that, in truth, affects your health. You haven't been
in pain for quite some time. It is your Faith that needs some further work; it
must be focused, not diffused. You seem to have some things completely
backwards. You must be fail-safe and only that you must exhibit; not from
an ego standpoint, from Faith alone. To give you an example: you do not
play some twenty sets of numbers; you play just one and manifest six balls.
Don't scatter; don't second guess; don't broaden the arena: one Choice, one
Road, one Faith, one God. Don't complicate your life: simplify. Diversity
shall come when you are ready; for the time, stay focused on your most
pressing needs and manifest most beneficial resolution. Precision and
simplicity is what you need to master at this time; and to return to what I
touched upon before, your death wish have become a burden. It outlived its
usefulness and needs to be discharged. It no longer serves your non-
attachment; you are sufficiently detached, and I believe, you do not want to
enter into not caring; and that is where you are headed if you keep it up. You
pretty much have stopped identifying with undeserving and empathizing with
karmic suffering: which have allowed you a clearer picture and afforded you
a better grasp of the solutions and the approaches that were not perceived
before, for faculties were otherwise engaged; but there is a fine line between
detachment and disregard; do not cross it. A whole new set of problems will
emerge, well out of my influence. Reflect on that and make the adjustments
needed. The Angel gave you very good advice: Select the set of necessary
actions and implement without hesitation and with precision and efficiency.
You claim you do not do "what ifs"; at this point it is immensely beneficial.
Do not allow for variables, compromises or secondary conditions; do not be
swayed or distracted by anything of lesser at this time. Focus, efficiency and
concentration; all shall be manifested exactly according to the present need,
and once it's done and you are free, you do the next essential. When all the
basics have been accomplished and you are in uncompromising ease, we can
discuss how to tackle diversity and broader range of actions, but for now,
freight train is exactly what you need. You are in your element; just look
ahead. While on the track, there is no need to look sideways; it is not
beneficial, only distracting from the view ahead. Am I clear?
Messenger: Quite so. What else would you like to comment on?
Master: Only that even so it is quite lovely that you have touched upon
the multiplicity in Oneness, it is somehow premature. Right now, Oneness
shall be the focus and synchronicity. It has been progressing rather nicely,
but by no means perfected; work on that. Some things are yet untouched, but
needed in future times. You shall achieve a state where all the facts are
naturally known and questions are unnecessary. Don't look at it as prying or
intruding; it is quite natural. Think of the implications: It is an easy state to
reach between the two of you; predisposition is helping you, but once
mastered, it can be expanded upon to much benefit, if need be. Reflect on
this. You may depart.

The last comment made was pertaining to the changes in the Space I was
perceiving; the rest was rather valid suggestions on overcoming my bad
habits described earlier. I did not see how I may disclose this without the
previous conversation, so I held it back also, deeming it beneficial and
necessary for myself only, since David surely did not share this problem. I
seem to be continuously breaking my word on total disclosure, but feeling
that in his need to protect, David was doing the very same thing himself, I did
not feel all that bad about it. In retrospect, I do believe now, that those days
we really did not understand each other's needs as well as we believed we
did; and those we did understand, we still filtered through our individual
judgment of how beneficial to the other the information may be according to
our own opinion and conclusions. Please, do not make the same mistakes we
did; it caused us much delays and many unnecessary and avoidable trials and
tribulations. Upon reflection, in the end it delivered us where we did not
want to be, but were forced to be, so we may learn this very lesson in the
most inconvenient ways. Education, like karma, is a relentless process and
there is no escaping it, but the degrees of it are chosen by our actions, and
complications are bound to follow all smaller, selfish or ego based choices.
This is a certainty; please take it as such.
 Immovable
At this point in time, some legal matters that were unresolved, have come
closer to conclusion, and no longer require my personal presence, or close
attention. As it was, the gates were opened; I was almost free to go, but not
in spirit, not at all. I could not allow myself to be the cause for the delay of
needed actions, so adjustments were necessary and fast, if only I knew how.
I sought the Angel and his advice, as I have done many times before.

Ariel: Want to walk?

Messenger: Not particularly. (We approached the tent.) The question is
about me and my problem.
Ariel: You have no problems.
Messenger: I'd like to think so.
Ariel: Then do.
Messenger: I can't. I guess I am limited.
Ariel: You are not.
Messenger: Then explain. I did my thing; either way it plays out, my
path is clear. Now I must deliberately take myself into a potentially
explosive situation and I don't want to do it. It may drag on for years:
indefinitely; like living under a guillotine blade. Why can't I make myself
see it like you do -- totally irrelevant?
Ariel: Why can't you? It is totally irrelevant.
Messenger: I know it; I just can't make myself feel it. I understand, it is
totally emotional, but I can't shake it. I feel bound and gagged under the
blade of a guillotine, waiting for the blade to fall. How can I do it to myself
on purpose?
Ariel: Are you afraid?
Messenger: No; it is the wait I dread. I need a resolution of any kind and
I'd rather not be present for it. I know it is wrong, but I still feel it is not my
business. Part of me is absolutely thrilled that I am free to join my loved one;
while most of me feel like now I am free to truly face the real source of my
imprisonment: the cage of lies and secrets, and I am about to intensify it to
the max. Why should true and unselfish Love be held prisoner to secrets and
deceit? It is not fair and it is not right, but it is very merciful and prudent.
Please, help me. I need to change my perspective now; there is no time left.
Ariel: Are you discontented?
Messenger: I'm happy, very happy. I do not understand why it bothers
me so much. I see the need; I concur; I understand. I do not mind to live
alone; I like to live alone. It would not be my first choice, but absolutely no
resentment here of any kind to either outcome. I am not jealous; I am not
possessive, but I cannot stand the waiting game. Why do I find it so
confining?
Ariel: Because it is. Duality personified itself; it found names and faces,
and one of them is yours. It is not just a concept anymore; it is a physical
reality, or unreality, in its most potent and profound play; and you are trapped
into its never ending dance by your compliance. Good should not need to
hide when not in danger, and you are certainly not in danger. I said it is
irrelevant because it is; it changes nothing of real consequence, but to your
state of mind and being, it surely is not irrelevant.
Messenger: What about yours; I mean his?
Ariel: It also is not irrelevant, but you will never hear him admit it. His
loyalties are split, not equally of course, but still; while yours are undivided.
He won't admit that either.
Messenger: His loyalty is universal, so is mine.
Ariel: Of course it is, but follow it one step below and it begins to differ.
The Master said: ‘You stand at disadvantage.’
Messenger: He also said: ‘Admit it and it becomes advantage.’
Ariel: And so you did. Why do you think it is you who keep the Space?
Messenger: Because by nature I am more limited, more drawn to details.
Ariel: Because to you it is the only thing that matters. This Union is
everything to you. You would give up the Master and the books, and me; and
all the angels, and all your gifts, your son, your very life at the slightest need
and would not blink or falter; and you would brave the gates of hell and not
complain, to keep the Oneness safe.
Messenger: Sounds awful; it sounds like an obsession; I am not a fanatic.
Ariel: It sounds like devotion; it sounds like commitment of the highest
kind, your first. Your one and only unconditional commitment.
Messenger: Get closer. What are you daring to imply: That it is of lesser
importance to him than it is to me?
Ariel: No; only that he has other agendas besides the Union, which takes
precedent of course, but you do not. That's all.
Messenger: You are lying! Sorry, should not have said that. You are
mistaken.
Ariel: You know I am right. To him it is the most important thing; to
you it is all and everything. Why do you think I don't support his causes?
Messenger: Why don't you? They are all good! He could have used
your help to shorten the duration of his efforts.
Ariel: I do not aid his causes because I do not think he should have any,
besides the one that have fulfilled itself, if not completely. Discharging of
one's duty and having causes and aspirations is not the same. Discharging
duties aids and liberates, and causes bind. If one is not cautious, they give
birth to karma.
Messenger: You lost me. He is nothing, if not cautious.
Ariel: Relax; there is no real karma, just perceived; but still, I wanted you
to understand my point.
Messenger: I am not sure I do.
Ariel: I noticed one of your less endearing traits: you often like to play
stupid.
Messenger: I never!
Ariel: OK; you pretend not to understand, while you do.
Messenger: It is beneficial: That makes you spell things out and face
them, out loud and in the open; not just in privacy of your own thoughts. It
gets necessary things addressed. Am I wrong?
Ariel: How devious, but often beneficial.
Messenger: Besides, quite often the points arise that I have missed, or the
depths I have not been able to quite grasp.
Ariel: Hardly! It's just your way of getting confirmation and
acknowledgment.
Messenger: Do blow all my little secrets.
Ariel: They are hardly secrets, and no one is forcing you to write.
Messenger: Do say that female thing and I will slap you.
Ariel: Why should I? You have done it for me.
Messenger: And I am devious? Ha! While on the subject, do name his
causes.
Ariel: I will not. I will not validate them any further by acknowledgment;
it have been done enough.
Messenger: If I did not know different, I'd say you are cold and stubborn.
 Ariel: But since you do, you may say I am honest and persistent, and I
refuse to bleed.
Messenger: And single-minded, may I add.
Ariel: You may, and while on the subject, I shall repeat: my loyalty is
yours and undivided, as much as it is God's. Would that alleviate to some
degree your real and unreal reservations, and your discomfort in duality
solidified, that you erroneously think you must participate in?
Messenger: What do you want me to do? Just stop it?
Ariel: Exactly. You said it, sister, I did not.
Messenger: I cannot do it. The Union precludes it.
Ariel: You notice, how it just became your problem, not ours, and the
Union does not preclude it. No bondage is welcomed in the Oneness, but it is
tolerated for a time; perceptions grow with the understanding. Your non-
participation in nonessential may cause a slight discord, but no more than
quiet discontent or outward resentment. Consider this, it is allowed. We do
it; you can do it also.
Messenger: Are you encouraging mutiny in the ranks?
Ariel: I am encouraging your comfort and your peacefulness, your
freedom from duality imposed.
Messenger: I thank you. I won't pretend to need further elaboration. I
shall consider it quite seriously; it may just be the answer; beats bondage,
guillotines and flying bullets. It offers peace of mind.
Ariel: At last! I shall depart while I am ahead; as soon as you complete
your reading, we shall expect you.
Messenger: Of course, my Love. Good night.

David's reaction to this conversation was nil. He is unmoved in his

position and all of his so called secondary causes he will not acknowledge,
neither would he relinquish. He does not consider his loyalties or his
attention split; he does not wish to discuss it, and he does not care how much
discomfort it may or may not be causing me. Mind you, not in words did he
convey this, but in deeds; he still considers his life outside the Union none of
my business and non-negotiable. I have concurred, since I know he has
everyone's best interest at heart and in mind; and if I am uncomfortable by his
following what he considers righteous action, it is too bad for me. It is not
easy to make an impact on David's actions or opinions; he always follows
what he knows to be truth and he is not looking outside himself for any
alterations. It takes a bigger, higher and more expansive truth to hit him in
the face, between the eyes, and sometimes more than once, for him to see or
acknowledge the presence of it. However, once that happens, he embraces it
wholeheartedly and it becomes his new chosen path, from which he will be
unmoved again in righteous action. I was only able to persuade him once,
regarding the presence of his unperceived limitations and at a great cost to
myself. This was not a project I was willing to undertake again for any little
reason. I would much rather deal with my little discomforts personally, as
long as he lets me, and let him do what he sees right.
 Shortcomings & History of Heritage
Unveiled
The legal situation that had dragged on for years, was suddenly about to
conclude, if I agreed to the exploiting terms presented; as a result, it left me
feeling rather dissatisfied. I never had a doubt it would be otherwise; so, I
was quite shocked and disappointed. Crucial decisions were called for
literally on a moment's notice; I was not sure if David and I made the right
one's, but it was too late. In any case, it freed me to depart at will, which was
positive, and it was over, which was also positive. I could not understand
why the situation unfolded as it did, and did not feel it was appropriate to ask
the Master about something so far removed from the divine agenda or from
our work; but then, He called. I took with me a question that David wanted a
comment on: How can he facilitate a better attunement between himself and
Ariel; since he had for so long bypassed Ariel’s connection in favor of the
Source -- Father?

Master: It's been some time.

Messenger: I'm sorry Master. I did not want to involve You in some
rather personal stuff. I thought we needed to handle it ourselves.
Master: So, you made a mess. I hope you learned from it. Manifestation
takes precision and needs simplicity. Any and every variable detracts. You
figured it out. Good. He must be very cautious with his powers; the strength
of Union intensified them much. You understand, you sabotaged it by your
ambiguous pursuit of liberation {My wanting to leave the Earth’s
limitations}. Thought, word and deed were not in balance, until completion
was in sight, but his decision that it should not be your answer to financial
freedom had stopped manifestation in mid point; so only bare minimum had
been accomplished. It may just be, that your suddenly acquired financial
freedom would not have fitted in so very well into his immediate projection
of what and how the future must unfold itself. He is so used to the
undisputed fact that he knows best and wills best. He spent so many lifetimes
unopposed and totally unchallenged; autocracy became his way of life.
Submit or exit is the standing notion. But then, my dear, you grew up; the
Union took place and power of original conception, before the separation
weakened it to half, is now present in the both of you, but synchronicity of
will is not. I do admit that you are trying hard, and I must say that your
power of perceptions and of retrieving needed information had grew
immensely. Regretfully, you exercise it seldom, but when you do, you are
clear and concise and do not need his help. I do not think he sees this point
and if he does, acknowledgment is slow to come; because it means autocracy
must be relinquished, and it is not a deed he contemplated yet. Up to this
point, you have essentially been quite compliant, but now you feel you do
not have to be. In ever subtle little ways, the game of push and pull is still in
place, and that is not helpful to manifestation. Regretfully, you both do still
have motives. He claims not to project, but yet he does; you claim that you
concur with all his choices, but you do not; you only wish you did. He sees
no need to have you well informed of how and where his linear existence is
progressing, so you are forced to guess. That brings uncertainty again and
you are full of it already. In turn, you do inform him about the painful little
bit of what and how, and where, and who of your linear existence;
conveniently forgetting your true response to the events described and the
impact they have on you. My dear ones, with large exceptions of never-
ending and all enduring Love that fills your hearts, you still are largely very
secretive towards each other, and that is not helpful to the progression of the
Union, or to your combined linear existence. I shall not elaborate on it any
further; you must discuss it between yourselves; but I already mentioned in
our previous, however brief discourse, about the need for both of you to keep
your focus on the Oneness at this time; not on the growth or the expansion. It
seems to me, that lately both of you have been drawing upon the power of the
Union separately and rather selfishly, for your individual needs. That has to
cease. If continued, that shall be detrimental to the whole; it shall erode. It
also seems to me, somewhere in some little ways, you grew apart. How
come? It is quite true that you can be annoying and unpredictable and
seemingly unreasonable, and he can be domineering and unyielding and quite
repetitive, but the both of you were well informed of the other one’s
shortcomings, and up to now, you thought them to be benign and even
charming. What changed? Do talk about that as well. Now, we shall a little
bit discuss the history you have inquired into. I must admit, that both of you
by now are so adept at finding answers by yourselves, you almost do not need
me, but then you do.
 The Books of Wisdom are not a road map full of shortcuts and arrows
pointing left or right and clear signs that tell you of the conditions or things
that are ahead. They are like compass, to help you navigate in the duality,
adversity, diversity and ever changing, but ever same old thing of linear
existence. Those are largely not laws; laws are well known, if misinterpreted,
to suit whomever or whatever cause. All they are is useful guidance, so
anyone of you may choose your very own road map; create your own
direction, and decide on what is ahead for you and how you wish to get
there. All I wish to show is what is beneficial and why and how one may
apply it, or how one may incorporate the beneficial into one’s life, if one so
chooses; no dogmas; no stigmas; no threats; no promises. Only some
guidance on what, where, how and why; which if applied, will create a
promise and then a certainty of Liberation, Freedom, Peace and Bliss; that
simple; that uncomplicated; that unoriginal. No claims are made for any
greatness or uniqueness. Simplicity and clarity and ease are all I offer; and I
compel to contemplate my words; I do not demand obedience and following.
Free will, my Love, may enter any time and alter anything at any moment.
The effects of such of course are rather questionable, but I deny you no
education and no choices to fulfill yourselves. And now to history of not so
distant past.
Messenger: Excuse me, Master, if I may interrupt.
Master: You may, and you just did.
Messenger: Why do you seem somewhat sarcastic? Maybe I am wrong,
but I keep perceiving laughter, and not a joyous one. As if you were
displeased. I almost hear: “I can’t believe it!”
Master: Well, my love, your senses and perceptions are in place, if
nothing else. I have just outlined that I have sensed some selfishness in your
supposed Oneness; each drawing on the power of One to further ends of self
alone, not both; of much words and little real conversation, and hidden
separate agendas that were supposed to have been dismissed or settled. None
of her business -- none of his business is still in place and rules, except now
you have much more power to implement your private choices and agendas.
I have discussed it earlier tonight and I am not pleased to have a need to say
it. The Angel, in his tactfulness, have hinted a few times, but once again it
had remained unheard. Neither one of us are in position to deprive you of
your choices. You both are so concerned with non-intrusion into the other’s
privacy; how rudimentary. It is like saying: I do not choose to know myself
fully; I may have secrets from myself and some of my feelings and my
actions shall be a mystery to me, for I won’t ask and I won’t answer. To this
very day and after all that have transpired, it is still so difficult for both of
you to actually ask a straight and direct question about what really concerns
you or give a straight and direct answer. It would considerably shorten your
conversations and strengthen your joint peace, not your individual
satisfaction. Are we at last clear on that?
Messenger: Yes, Master. I’m sorry we have displeased you.
Master: Be sorry you have displeased yourselves. At least admit it, that
will be a start. Begin to treat the other the same you treat yourself: no special
dispensations, no special considerations, no aversions, no omissions and no
concealment of any kind. I do believe that those miles are beginning to be a
real detriment -- to play a part. You have allowed the unreal to dictate the
real as to appease your private selves. A pity, and a bigger pity, it went
unrecognized by both of you and uncorrected. Is this enough?
Messenger: More than enough and rather sad indeed. I am so sorry.
Master: Now we shall briefly address the history inquired. Further
elaborations shall be available if need be, but I believe that both of you by
now have a rather good idea of how things work and the hierarchy of things.
The book affords you certain glimpses, but they are much riddled, veiled and
disguised. You wish for harmony between Angelic and mundane; you know
the answer. True angels are largely about only Love and duty, with some
occasional shadows of personalities or choices or even preferences. It is
allowed. Individuality is never outlawed; it is appreciated. True humans,
even the enlightened ones, are largely about ego plays, with more enlightened
ones fighting it and non-enlightened trying to pacify and satisfy it. Even the
best of best have problems distinguishing between true duty and the
concealed desires, or silent pride, or causes to prevent the bleeding, or even
worse. The moments when you are clear about your duty and centered in the
Love are few and far between. Most time is spent attempting such; but those
are the times that afford you communication; not yet harmony. When and if
you are able to discharge all secondary causes, all ego plays, all attachments
to any and all actions and reactions, all aid to undeserving, all bleeding for
the same, all selfish wishes, however altruistic; all hope for any and all results
or consequences, all fears of anything at all -- including inflicting or enduring
pain, all preconceptions and projections, all well intentioned guesses of what
may or may not be beneficial to anyone, including you: All of a sudden, you
will find yourself in total harmony with your angelic self, and all the powers
of such will be included. Regretfully, no one so far have been quite able to
sustain it for any length of time, but it is quite achievable. As you well
understand, they may not interfere in your choices and have very few to make
themselves. They don’t play games -- concealment is not possible on the
angelic plane, nor is it desired. Their rules are simpler, roads are shorter and
time or passing on are not an issue of any large concern, not in your terms.
To start at the beginning: Angelic plane had been in play far longer than
mundane in all their revolutions. Mundane begun itself, when the Angelic
was as old as life, but both of them are quite connected, as you have guessed.
You may consider the mundane as the experiment of sorts that did not quite
work out as was planned, but that would be a rather crude assessment; and
may even be perceived insulting by some; so, it is your discretion, as to the
disclosure of this discourse. I rather thought that both of you have pretty
good idea of what I am describing, but I will do it just the same, for clarity
and duty to be outlined -- not disadvantages. So, to repeat myself: Angelic
plane had been in service countless times when the mundane was born. The
concept of the birth of the mundane is somewhat outlined in the book of Job,
just as you thought. The Love reflecting Self, creating Self, becoming and
being Self has been explored and realized, and cherished, and appreciated
with relatively few obstacles and veils, or denials, or defiance. Tranquility,
the Paradise have generally ruled and angels served, and prospered, and
evolved somewhat on the same principal as humans do, subtract the passing
on and separation, for none was present. As much of Love as any one of
them could realize and reflect dictated their progress. When the Divine Will
fold upon itself, those well-established were quite safe and at the next
unfoldment begun as Selves; those not yet established begun anew, but none
was ever lost. At one point, the concept was created and debated as to how
much removed from very Source of Self may Self become but still remember
Self. It was debated rather often, how concealed or veiled Love may be, or
unrewarding, or unexibited, unshown, unseen, or even unknown, to still be
discovered and recovered and appreciated and recognized as Self again: The
book of Job. You see the parallels -- subtract the Satan. It’s quite
understood, that those who relayed the concept would enter Satan in, because
it was too hard to realize that Goodness by Itself would conceive such cruelty
as to remove Itself from Self, as far as possible, for further recognition and
expansion. As it was, the Satan was not yet; for the very existence of
mundane gave birth to Lucifer, not the other way around. Anyway, the time
have come when the experiment was born -- a plane of negative existence. It
had few rules, but the parameters were set; that once manifested on that
plane, no memory of Self shall be apparent; it must be discovered anew,
reflected, appreciated, understood without any aid or any interference: A
classroom and an experiment at once. Then, unforeseen begun to happen.
Separation gave birth to further separation and evolution without
understanding or memory of Oneness; gave birth to natural selection,
competition; survival of the fittest, so to speak, emerged, and cruelty
completely unforeseen was born. Some have become appalled at what have
occurred, but some have become enchanted and intrigued by possibilities and
options and unexplored variations and depths; but in any case, the plane was
very much established in manifestation and rather out of their hands, and in
the Higher One’s. The last attempt was made to introduce some rather
Higher Beings, with some inherent goodness, some higher understanding and
the capacities to rise above and to transcend, but the very parameters of the
plane have altered them as well. Some special dispensations had to be made
and some conditions altered, because the Beings, not being subject to time or
aging, had no need and no urgency to grow, or to search, or to progress; so
linear time was added. The progress made needed to be saved; that gave
birth to karma and rebirth, and then the process was concealed as to promote
some urgency in the search for progress, and to hopefully curb the cruelty
that reigned. Despite all that, some angels have become so enamored in this
venture, they have projected themselves into the plane; most have become
entangled; subject to the newly established laws and rules; hence, all those
legends of the gods and goddesses in all the lands and times. Some had
become so involved and entangled, they lost the contact with their Angelic
Selves and of course the access to their powers as well, and their Angelic
Form have devolved, and in some cases even withered and fell completely
dormant. In any case, all that progressed so far -- it was beyond the power or
the ability of Angels to stop or alter it; however, they still could very well
destroy it, if they were allowed; but they were not. It fell to their duty to
guide and oversee the plane, to serve it at their best, but not to interfere unless
commanded. Most have accepted, feeling the responsibility and duty; some
have not. To serve absurd experiment, some lower forms, who were
exhibiting all willfulness and cruelty and abuse, and were hardly ever rising
or striving, seemed pointless and beneath them. Destruction of the whole
forsaken thing seemed reasonable. From there on, I won’t repeat myself:
angelic wars, descend; we covered all of that. So, all in all, you understand,
by far not everybody on your plane is of Heritage -- only rather few; but all in
essence have the potential to rise and to project themselves, and to become.
Hence, all the legends of the just and good becoming angels, are much
exaggerated, but quite possible, even if rarely achieved. It is much easier for
those of you who are originally from the Heritage to consecrate yourselves
and harmonize with your representations, but even then, so few are capable
of sustaining that perfect balance and ease of communications for any length
of time. Imagine how difficult it shall be for the being of no representation
on the angelic plane to project itself upwards and manifest an angel; almost
never happens. Your so called guardian angels are hardly ever your higher
selves -- just teachers and overseers. I hope, I was brief and simple and non-
offensive. So you see, as much as it may be, that all the old is being new
again, and seemingly no progress is taking place on a large scale, the triumph
of a few is an accomplishment of such a magnitude, especially of those
without Heritage: that even angels must step back and bow, for they have
never faced adversities and trials of total separation and triumph over it. That
is why in the book it mentioned somewhat, God elevating man over Angels.
They have earned that right; not all 6 billion+ of course, just precious few;
but still, that contribution is quite immeasurable by any standards. You
understand; do you not?
Messenger: I kind of had a similar notion, since the discourse on
Heritage; I could not quite connect all the dots.
Master: Well, none of it is of real importance to you. I would much
rather you concentrated on the two of you becoming One and harmonizing
Deborah and David; than David reading the mind of Ariel, which by the way
is quite an open book to anyone who wishes to aspire, or Deborah trying to
control Drizella, as if she can be. The Angels are themselves so very well,
but since they both have projected, regardless of circumstance, into your
plane, their projections had to fulfill the very task the angels have aspired to
fulfill; that was a given; the rest is up to you. If two of you desire to play
games for many lives to come, you risk to find yourselves without guidance
from your angelic selves; they are quite free. You know how you feel when
they disengage; you are not used to be without that added backup and
unspoken comfort. Keep playing games and you will be. Do not concern
yourselves with synchronicity between Angelic and mundane; concern
yourselves with synchronicity between yourselves, and between yourselves
and God; and the Angelic will fall into place all by itself, when this is
accomplished. Is that understood?
Messenger: Yes, Master.
Master: Now, I would appreciate if both of you would exhibit more true
patience between yourselves and watch your egos, please; they are emerging.
Remember how it was when you were half and cherish your Oneness above
all else. It is a gift from you to you, from God to God. Do not allow lesser to
affect it. Go now and reflect. Much have been said. It shall require time to
process and implement. Reflect, discuss, and choose your path again and I
shall see you later.

This conversation has received quite a mixed response from David. He

was very happy to acquire additional information for sharing, about the
Heritage; he craves that always. He was mildly interested in perfecting his
attunement with Ariel; it seemed an awfully difficult task to erase any
perceived barriers created over the millenniums. Besides, when he asked for
better alignment, I think he actually meant better control and more shared
information, but I doubt he will be admitting to that any time soon. He was
appalled at all of our shortcomings and misconceptions outlined and was
adamant to get rid of then immediately. He even made me compile a list of
every unpleasantness mentioned and to outline how do I perceive myself
correcting it; after which we discussed it further and created another list of
solutions to implement. This way he was sure that nothing was overlooked
or misunderstood by me, since he was through playing games; he wished to
see progress -- now. As unpleasant as his approach was, the merits of its
outcome were evident, so I complied of course.
 Uncertainties & Perils of the Mundane
For myself, I still was not quite sure of Drizella, considering her prior
actions and our difficulties in conversation and in synchronicity of will.
There seemingly wasn’t any. I was rather convinced, that be it up to her
alone, the two of us would be now on our own, without their guidance or aid.
It’s true, we stroke a deal of convenience, a compromise of sorts or an
exchange of promises, to ease the tensions some. I did not know if she ever
found balance or real peace, or did she learn to trust us even some. In short, I
did not understand her, nor did I ever have an opportunity to try. I thought it
was time to make another effort. David seemed in agreement with me on
those points, so I called on her. She appeared in the full Egyptian attire of a
queen: all white and gold, her sword ever present, as she rested on it, which
seemed to be her preferred way. Ariel was, as always, at her right; he looked
content and introverted. I chose to disregard both observations; it was about
time I showed some respect. It maybe will prove catching, or so I hoped.

Messenger: How are you girl? You are looking good as always. What's
with the costume?
Drizella: Don't we like costumes? Aren't we always chic and slick?
Expose some curves; conceal some insecurities.
Messenger: I see you are still armed in far more ways than one.
Drizella: And you'll are still just not quite good enough. Perfection still
eludes you, so is serenity; still feeding the uncertainty with chocolate, and
still reluctant to accept yourself for who and what you are.
Messenger: Do tell me who and what we are, besides for alley cat and
foolish dreamer, and maybe a deserter.
Drizella: Still saving best of your sarcasm for yourself. First and
foremost we are brave. Projecting Truth into the face of fear; defending
Truth in front of many lies and being Truth surrounded by darkness is rather
brave.
Messenger: What you describe has nothing to do with bravery. When
you have nothing to gain and nothing to lose, standing tall is very, very easy.
You know this; you do patrol.
 Drizella: Not any more; we had a deal. Besides, I do have nothing left to
prove, unlike you. Where I stand, I am quite good enough. I have my
strength, my balance and my freedom. I no longer bleed for memories of
past and fear not uncertainty. I am All I have lost or given up -- and All I
have acquired and realized -- and have returned to be. I am my true Self, my
Love personified: United, Undivided and Whole. I am what I have been and
what I will become.
Messenger: Do rub it in; do thank me all at once. Here you are, still
leaning on your sword, your Angel at your side, talking to me about bravery.
You are the one who dropped us into this prison, so now it is only fair you
help to take us out. Quite unbeknownst to me, I helped you to regain your
total freedom. Now help me to do the same. Do mix, you are invited. Are
you allowed?
Drizella: Why do you think we are still here? Your notion that if it was
up to me, we would be gone by now is quite erroneous. From all the
incarnations, it was you who made a breakthrough and allowed me to regain
myself, but you have been a constant drain upon my balance lately, and Ariel,
as patient as he is, can find no reasons, besides some chemical imbalances
that should not at all be a problem for you to restore. I will repeat it one more
time: you do not have to participate in anything of secondary nature you find
uncomfortable. I do not, nor does Ariel. You are allowed; more, you are
encouraged. Non-participation is non-offensive and non-detrimental;
participation while resentment builds is quite destructive. All non-essentials
are totally elective, you know it all too well. Why do you need that constant
repetition, that you yourself dislike?
Messenger: Are we not supposed to promote synchronicity? If one
participates and the other does not, where is the synchronicity?
Drizella: My dear girl, both Ariel and I have not participated in any of
the secondary causes; not yours, not his, nor shall we ever. We do attempt to
promote your well being and to support your duty. Now, Ariel does not
patrol, I did; and I do not keep records as he does or you. Our duties are
largely complimentary, not identical. Having a duty that coincides
completely, like you and David, is rather fortunate. Consider it an added
blessing. As different as you may claim to be, you’re more alike than either
one of you perceives. He is so hidden and you are so out on the limb; he is
restrictive and you are expressive, but that is just skin deep. At heart you are
the same. You cultivated all he had locked up; he cultivated all you have
restricted, but now, when the mirror is held up, you see yourselves as whole,
as you truly are, and you are One in more ways than just in essence. Now
back to non-participation: If some endeavor, however altruistic and benign
and good, but highly secondary and elective, is not supported by participation
by anyone but the host of it, does it not stands to reason that it shall end itself
quite naturally and rather soon?
Messenger: I would think the opposite. I would assume, that if never-
ending patience is involved and selfless Love, that task becomes unending,
but with the aid and many hands, the task would shorten to completion and
be forgotten soon.
Drizella: Only considering that there is an honest striving to complete. If
there is not, don’t hold your breath. Sisyphus is still striving to push that
stone to the top of very mountain and right before he reaches the top of it, the
rock rolls back. An accident? A curse? A force of habit? You decide.
Some tasks are never-ending, because the goal of them is not desired by the
doer, but the road is deemed as necessary, especially considering the help
along the way. A genuine effort to better oneself is just so -- an effort to
better oneself; it is a road, not a destination. A need to know one’s true Self
and to become it is not the same. You see the difference, of course, do you
not? A road to better oneself is never-ending; a road to know Self and to
become it -- is road to bliss. The first one needs support at every pebble; the
latter is a solitary road, except for One who is already you. I did not tell you
anything you did not know already. Why do you think you do not wish to
participate? The futility of it is overwhelming, even to your ever so
empathetic heart.
Messenger: I have improved dramatically in that department.
Drizella: You do not largely bleed, for all and everyone, who you
perceive as lacking. You no longer pick up crosses; that is so, but you still
are well aware of how it feels to be each and everyone of them.
Messenger: And so do you, because we were them too many times. The
one’s who forget history are bound to repeat it; don't ever want to be them
again.
Drizella: I also am aware of why they feel the way they do. Do you?
Messenger: Very much so. What I exhibit is not an empathy or
sympathy. It is a “never again” sign.
Drizella: By God, she must have learned. Now learn not to be affected
by anything mundane and you are done. And by the way, remember,
everything in your life happens at the eleventh hour and it is not yet. Have
Faith, my dear. You do understand that by thinking of something you already
participate. So, stop. Don't give it any more energy than it already gets.
Messenger: I know it is irrelevant by now, but why did you really do that
stupid thing you did, behind my back? {Faced down and challenged Lakieya
Host, who is a fallen angel and a karmic obstacle as part of our life.}
Drizella: Somebody had to, but no one would.
Messenger: How could you possibly perceive that one as offensive?
Drizella: One does not have to be offensive to be a detriment, an obstacle
and a threat: just weak, forever needy and sympathetic.
Messenger: You have accomplished nothing.
Drizella: I have accomplished plenty. I have got both of you out of your
bleeding status quo and stopped that never-ending drain, or at least limited it
largely. I changed your understanding to match your feelings and I got Ariel
to admit that he opposes also, as I do. I did enough.
Messenger: Then, thank you; but don’t you think you could have hurt?
Drizella: I meant no harm; I did no wrong. I stated what was true, and if
that truth elicited some fear in response, the problem is not mine. I did not
say a thing that was not known already by all the parties. Some serious
acknowledgment was needed, if not acceptance. You just don’t understand.
The power you were beginning to possess cannot be nursed on by anyone for
any reason. It should not be tapped into frivolously and fed on. It must be
earned. Besides, have you ever consider it, that if anyone taps in the source
far greater than one’s own, it may actually cause some manifested damage?
To illustrate my point, have you been burning any straws lately?
Messenger: Come to think of it, no; there is no need. I felt no taps at all
lately; but everyone without exception is trying to be around me and they
claim to miss me when I’m gone.
Drizella: Your Light is still perceived, greater than ever, but at large no
one can any longer just tap in; the properties are just too different and far
apart. The Energy and Light you are releasing by just existing is quite
enough for them to be completely filled and since it is more rarefied, less
condensed if you wish, it does some good and no harm, unless the person is
outwardly evil. So, no taps are being put on you, because by now you are
sustaining to all around you without any effort, just by being, and at
absolutely no loss to you. Now imagine, if somebody fed on you exclusively,
completely, for times unending and unopposed. Force of habit, familiarity
and greed will come to play. Now, if that person is allowed to continue the
practice, it will without a doubt, manifest some harm; the more prolonged --
more harmful it becomes, both physically and mentally, and even spiritually.
One cannot survive for long consuming only sugar by the spoonfuls, unless
one is a bee. You see my point. As it was, no one of you have taken that into
consideration to my knowledge and I facilitated that awareness, and actions
have been taken to prevent unnecessary exposure and maybe damage. You
must understand and accept the fact, that our actions are based on many
reasons not clearly and readily foreseen by you, unless explained. But why?
There must be Faith and trust. Our Beingness is quite in you and speaks to
you continuously, when goodness is a way of Being. Even when unknown
and seemingly unheard, rest assured, it is there and incorporated and
beneficial. Problem arises in the middle ground, when some awareness
enters but little understanding and you begin to process that connection:
accept, reject and misinterpret what is received, without largely knowing of
the source, or your relationship to it, or unity of goal and singleness of
Being. You and David were great examples of what I just said. You both
have judged acquired information and deemed it less than Truth and acted on
that decision. Up to very recently, you still held us in doubt, especially
myself, which is of course yourself. It is not beneficial, not to you, not to the
Union. By now, Ariel and I have almost total synchronicity of will and total
unqualified acceptance. Since we are to remain in service until you are ready
to depart, some little individual personality traits and inclinations must be
harmonized. They would have been transcended have we departed, but we
don’t mind. It is a joyous effort. We are more concerned with what is
happening to you and David. Your ties have weakened suddenly and for no
apparent reason. We do not see what is in play today that was not yesterday
or will not be tomorrow. You are not yet regressing, but you are not
progressing. There are no reasons for it in Divine; you are so guarded and
protected here of all and everything that possibly may have polluted; so it
must be personal, or of mundane. That will not be tolerated or supported, or
aided. We understand that in mundane you both are at the threshold of large
perturbations that are undoubtedly taking place already, but all was planned,
accepted and agreed upon; so where and how did the second thoughts come
in? I hope you understand, that if by any chance you both shall forsake this
opportunity of total Oneness, you shall return to finish. All attempts at
anything must be completed: those are the rules; and your notion that next
time it shall be easy -- think again. Deliberate rejections of the Truth are not
rewarded by anyone, especially yourselves. You must know, that as long as
we perceive complete devotion, we are behind you for the duration. Allow
any separation or any selfishness to affect what had been gained and we are
gone. We will not nourish your egos or did we ever. So, settle this at once.
The Master outlined your problems rather well, but we would like to add, that
this is the time to be more loving -- not angry and militant at the perceived
failure; and no finger pointing, please. Be it his oversight or yours, it still is
joint; do not lose sight of that at any moment. Desist respecting each other’s
wishes: when all is joint, all assumptions must cease and no wish shall be
present that is not beneficial to the Union. All of your decisions must be
based not on what is most convenient for you, but on what is more beneficial
for the Oneness. Now, if per say, there is a circumstance which one of you is
finding totally repelling for whatever reason, even if illogical, it should be
respected without resentment and obeyed, until corrected, providing Union
does not suffer as a result. Anything of lesser impact, or of personal and
individual conveniences, or of unrelated goals or plans, or prior projects, or
designs that are in progress; any and all entanglements that are not related to
the expansion and growth of Oneness, must be given up with joy, not second
thoughts; or don’t you see that it means freedom from ties that bind? Look at
all the time and energy that you have wasted on your law suits, the notions
preconceived but yet un-synchronized; the time frames, windows and the
acceptance of the barriers perceived; and what have you accomplished? A
mess. We would like both of you to look around yourselves jointly and
ruthlessly assess all unrelated bondage, even the one unseen at this time;
discover it; resolve it, and if possible and prudent, severe it at once. Do some
internal housecleaning immediately; forget politeness, manners and non-
offensiveness: remember Truth and Love and Oneness -- and nothing else. It
is apparent that now, when all large and obvious obstacles are removed and
conquered, some little, undiscovered and undisclosed things are festering
unnoticed, behind the big and obvious. But now it is time to clear the field
completely of anything of outside that does or may detract. If it requires your
energy and effort, and time continuously and constantly, but Oneness is not
benefiting from all of that, then it detracts, distracts and fractures. It must be
re-examined and re-adjusted, and if possible, transcended or eradicated. We
do understand of course, that the efforts of immediate individual survival will
be excluded from this cleansing, but only for a time. That also must be
eventually simplified and purified and cleansed, so do not forget it, just
postpone it, until immediate is finished. I do not think that I can be more
detailed or more clear. Is there anything disagreeable or not understood?
Messenger: No Ma'am. Since when did you become so stern and clear
and concise and adamant?
Drizella: Since when did you? Since now. Respect yourself, like you
respect him; don’t just be enamored with yourself or outward displeased.
You are extremely and undoubtedly completely good enough, and never have
you ever been second best to anyone, especially not now. That must be a
certainty at all times, not a possibility sometimes. Not from the point of ego -
- from knowingness of God. The man in him should be of little interest, but
much Love; the God in him is you. You are quite fortunate, for even
individually you are so very much compatible, which for some reason none
of you have seen. You keep focusing on conflicting habits and lifestyles and
cultures and upbringings, while your thought process is quite the same; so are
your emotional responses, however differently you choose to react to them --
so are your preferences. The only things different about you is learned
behavior, acquired by circumstance, and that shall quickly be adjusted, if you
both quit focusing on that alone and nothing else. It was not so with me and
Ariel: True opposites attract was our case, but no longer. At one blind
moment it had allowed for the break to take place, but we have learned
enough and now nearly total integration had taken place. The rest can be
transcended the moment we permanently withdraw, but we are working on it
anyway; it is so pleasing. A personal expansion into another’s heart and
mind and will and thought with no resistance and no judgment is so loving,
so touching. A show of total Faith and Trust; and joy of knowing -- of
everything on every level, however trivial; it is reflected, loved and
cherished, and blessed. We are so blessed and so very happy. You should
try it some day soon and you will be amazed.
Messenger: It is apparent that there is a lot of interference that is coming
in and disrupting us. It seems to me to be from outside, not of us; he thought
it was from me, but it was not, for I am here. I can’t imagine it being from
him. What is it?
Drizella: We have discussed just now, how nothing or almost nothing
from outside may enter you or tap you. After all, who is where you are, or
even closely approaching, to be an influence? No one you know, I assure
you; even very few we know. That bond between the four of us and Lord and
Master, and Love Personified: that relative balance and harmony between the
six, with the seventh being the Space itself; you just don’t even begin to
know what you are carrying, or what you are capable of, or what your
potential is. The reason you don’t know is because your focus is still split;
too much is being directed outwards. The other reason is that both of you do
not like to deal with your problems by working them out and clearing them
out. You lock them and deny them, but they don’t stay quite locked; he
purges and denies them, but they don’t stay quite purged. The last of locks
are falling off; the last of flames are dying out. All that was denied is
flooding in and what you do about it and how you handle it is very, very
crucial. As an example, look at your responses: you right away decided it
could not be him, he right away have thought of you. How charming, how
established, how one-sided and how wrong. No wonder you still feel not
good enough. You are so willing to be the lesser and always take all the
blame and most responsibilities for any and all shortcomings, mishaps or
misunderstandings, or even lessons; and he is so ready to oblige. End this
right now. The man in him, however subservient to the will of his or of
Divine, is just as fallible as you, if not more so, because he is not at all in
habit to admit it, unless he is forced; not even to himself, forget you. And
even if or when he ever does, that makes him silently and covertly quite
angry, but that is also burned, or almost burned. Enough of that. This is a
job for two of you to tackle; and now: Whatever guidance you needed was
received in triplicate again. This case is closed and at this moment no one is
pleased, including you.
Messenger: If you don’t mind, to change the subject, could you elaborate
on what happens on Angelic plane when the angel in question is not in touch
with its projection in mundane?
Drizella: I think you rather understand the answer. When a considerable
part of you is separated totally by darkness and veils and is inaccessible to
you at all, it is an awful drain and terrible imbalance that renders one quite
ineffective and rather weak. However, once any at all contact is established
and some reflection occurs, even if totally unknown in mundane and not
understood at all, the closer to the light mundane projection moves, more
power is restored by the angel. Unselfishness has much to do with it and
strength of character and singleness of will. The rest can be worked around
and is. However, complete balance and complete ability to grow and to
evolve is not regained until the channel is reasonably unobstructed and only
God unselfishly is sought and touched eventually. Why do you think so
many angels have their ability to shape and be Divine so limited? Their
mundane projections, of course. Only precious few have none, like Gabriel,
and even fewer have one’s who understand and strive, like you. That is their
only limitation and restriction. The one’s like Ariel are rare, the one’s like
me are blessed. The one’s like us at this time are none. We beg you, please,
don’t blow it. The very moment our Union is threatened, we shall depart,
that is a given. Do not consider us ungrateful or selfish, but at this very
moment the way things are, our only responsibility is to the Oneness and to
God. Once you have touched the Light and have become established, that
freed us totally. Do not misinterpret us, but at this time, the two of you are
totally elective, and we shall be for you as long as you are One in Light and
Love, and Truth. The moment you step out opens possibilities for our
diminishment and we will not allow that at all. Nothing is good enough
reason for that to happen. We are so glad to help you to clear out the last of
your debris of the mundane, but we cannot do it for you; no one can. That
job is up to you and time is now. Now do you feel the lines of
communications are sufficiently open between us? Do you believe we are
alike? Are you relieved of any doubts as to who and what I am and where I
stand? Do you see yourself reflected, as I see myself? Are you content?
Messenger: Oh, very much so. I think I Love you.
Drizella: Don’t be ridiculous, you know you do. You may as well admit
it and express it. (We hugged good-bye.)
Messenger: Don’t be a stranger now.
Drizella: I’ll say the same to you, to both of you. Do not be strangers, to
us or to each other. Good bye for now.

This also received a mixed review from David. The list of our problems to
correct expanded some. Also, David did not appreciate the sentiment about
them being free and us being elective to them. He did not immediately voice
his discontent, but I could tell that the thought was not lost on him; it was not
lost on me either. There were a few other fine points that did not feel
comfortable to either one of us. I could speak for myself with confidence,
but I am pretty sure David shared the notion. David was rather reflectively
analyzing such seemingly inappropriate principles or possible laws, without
admitting it to anyone, or revealing his conclusions. Being at an impasse
does that to him: when he can see the wall, feel the wall, and not yet know
how to scale the wall or how to remove it, until he has probed deeply. I could
not help him. The same wall was also in front of me and I did not mind
admitting that it made me dissatisfied to say the least. I was also beginning
to get a few radical ideas, not clearly defined enough to share, but disturbing
nevertheless. They were not helping to remove the wall of non-progression;
more like adding to its definition and its size.
 Our Angels Points of Views
Ariel: I angered you again.
Messenger: I'm sorry, but you did.
Ariel: Am I the only one who still can push your buttons?
Messenger: It seems so.
Ariel: Why don't you wonder, why?
Messenger: I do.
Ariel: My truth offends you because it is unfaced by you or
misperceived. However, in essence everything I say strikes a chord you wish
so hard to totally ignore, and when I force it out in the open it angers you.
Messenger: You seem to be well informed of our point of view; yours
seems to differ. Two points are unresolved for us, and we are in agreement
here. You know the points; address them please.
Ariel: I’d still like to hear how you put it. The depth of your perception
and understanding are in question; so do go on, elaborate and ask.
Messenger: OK. I thought we all agreed that means of immediate
survival are not to be put in jeopardy. We do not consider those an agenda
for a split loyalty. You seem to do just so; unless I misunderstood you, then
please correct.
Ariel: Go on, I’d like a complete picture before I answer.
Messenger: As you wish. It seems to us that at the present, the two of
you are quite centered and quite free and unobstructed. As for us, as free and
unobstructed the way we are in spirit and in essence, in body we are walking
a tightrope. We are not concerned with inflicting pain; others reaction to
right action is their responsibility. We are concerned with creating chaos and
inflicting damage, and incurring karma as a result. At present, we see no
solutions, so we take no actions. It very well may be, that we are not in the
possession of facts or information that are available to you; after all, our time
is linear, and at the moment we lack any and all constructive, not destructive
resolutions. Our freedom may not be bought by ruthless disregard of
responsibilities and commitments that have been once accepted. Even if we
led our lives in blindness of our goal and therefore we erred, we now are in
the consequences of those errors, and we do not wish to compound them by
further errors in action or in judgment, and to create more karma. As we
understand, right now we are clear, but we may not be clear for very long, if
we are hasty, or selfish, or not careful. We see no answers; apparently, you
do; please share them. Furthermore, we do not understand how can you
depart the scene if we are hopelessly entrapped; without us you are not totally
complete, unless you are not truly us at all. How can we be elective? Our
expanded consciousness afforded you much freedom; our special talents
afford us direct communication, so please, do lead. Enlighten us; show us
some peaceful resolutions that will not acquire guilt or karma, or cause
destruction, or breach of promise. I rest my case.
Ariel : I see your point. Now let's look at mine. Look at yourself: even
so you were so full of little strings that tied you up in many stupid and
convoluted ways, throughout your life you took some very many precautions
not to acquire any major chains. Your distaste for commitment and undesire
to be tied permanently to anyone or anything had cost you dearly, but you
endured and persevered, and then your quest was realized; you were
generally speaking unattached and free to totally embrace it. A zillion
misconceptions that you held are clearing out one by one and little strings are
breaking,, but even with those that still remain, you basically are free,
unfractured and unobstructed, for even in total darkness you have refused to
compromise or to submit or to accept defeat and settle for what was available
and convenient, and even when you did, you disallowed any permanence to
enter your compromises. Unknown to you, you kept the dream alive, when
even I had given up on you, you changed my mind. You do not see yourself
as stern or as unyielding, but yet you are in what does matter to you greatly,
and no sacrifice is too great for you and no pain or no inconvenience and no
obstacle may stop you; delay you - may be. It is the internal doubts or lack
of clear understanding that are your greatest foes, but your instincts are
usually on target and your perceptions, even when eons ahead of your
understanding, are always right. He is the opposite. While he took no
prisoners upon his road of self realization and personal enlightenment, in his
surroundings he was habitually inattentive and complacent and most of the
times he took the road of lease resistance in his wish to please and pacify and
to allow him his internal freedom. He had forsaken and gave up what he was
bargaining to have. He compromised, he did not care and did not listen to
anyone or anything that he perceived as lesser. His powers of the reason are
second to none and his detailed understanding of the dynamics in play are
just superb; and as he took much efforts to cut and clip any and all little
strings, it was the chains he overlooked. Physician heal thyself, he never
heard that one, or maybe not in time. From all of the situations that he had
assessed and settled and resolved, it was his own he never took a real look
upon and never had really examined. Not himself, mind you, only his
immediate environment and immediate situation. As it now stands, he is the
one who brings the baggage of potential chaos into the Oneness, and only
now have he admitted that the solution to this predicament escapes him. Up
to now, he kept on deluding himself that all was well and under his control
and the solution is at hand, and only time is needed to implement it. Now he
had admitted it to be not so, and thankfully. In your heart, you always knew
there was no resolution, but you had to show Faith and Trust, and you have
decided it is none of your business, but those doubts eroded you inside and
caused the host of problems. We shall not go through that again, but I must
say, that at this time, the two of you have finally decided to open up your
individual attics and closets and share what is in. Is the fact that any and all
incurred karma shall be joined, or the fact that what was remaining of your
individual privacy was about to end, or the oneness has finally conquered
your individuality that you so cherished, who knows and who cares? You did
it, good for you and good for all of us. Now to the actual subject. You both
agree he had assumed some responsibilities and made some commitments.
You both choose to disregard under which conditions those events took
place, and it's all right. You both choose to disregard the events and
conditions that led to those assumed responsibilities and commitments, that is
also all right. Now, you both chose to disregard exactly what those
responsibilities are based on and exactly what do they consist of and exactly
when and where do they stop. I'd like for you to at least give some
consideration to that. Now, I am pleased to hear that both of you agree you
carry no responsibility for others emotional responses. Then why do you
suddenly pick up that responsibility at that thought that those responses may
be carried into just as emotional actions, I do not understand. And now, even
so I am reluctant to go there, I shall point out subtle karmic point: An entity
that aspires to take something away from someone, that it knows not to be its
own, is always bound to lose it in just the same manner. (Lakieya's act)
Messenger: You stop right now!
Ariel: Do not be stupid and do not make parallels. You fought for years
to deny what you knew at heart to be yours as not to displace or to dispossess,
however misconceived or misconstrued, you are quite clear. You did not
covet -- ever. Now, another subtle point: much was said about certain
entity's unpredictable reactions and sudden change of heart and of behavior.
Was any contemplation ever given as to why? Cause and effect, my dear,
always cause and effect. Why the two of you see the anticipated events as
you acquiring karma, instead of how it really is, which is: what is earned is
given? Unless the two of you choose to absorb it yourselves, which by no
means absolves the others, only compounds and postpones. Have you been
out of karma for so long, that you forgotten how it works? If three are in a
situation that erupts, and two of them are carrying no karma, what is the
undeniable conclusion to remain? Deny it all you want, it is still so. Of
course it goes without saying, that once and if you bleed -- you're in, and I
can quietly observe that you are both quite ready and prepared to do just so.
A pity! Now to the other point at hand. Even so, as you so coldly noted, we
may never be entirely complete as long as you are faltering below. Our
freedom at this moment is complete, due to the expressed stuck to obscured
singleness of goal, and reflection that took place, and merging of our essence
and understanding and relative clarity you have acquired. You see my dear,
while it is true that we cannot entirely escape and avoid you and the
consequences of your choices, at this point there are some very certain steps
that we can and will take if need be to prevent our diminishment, in the event
you shall allow yours to take effect. The bridges, once reforged, were all we
needed to secure ourselves from any further threats of becoming lesser. You
may prevent us from becoming more, regretful, but true, but do understand,
even so the beam of light is traveling from the source through our plane to
yours, it is no longer split in two on our plane or shall it ever. So if you
desire for us to not aspire anymore to amplify and clarify your efforts, or
offer guidance, however ill received, just say so and we shall be like perfect
clear crystal;, the beam shall pass through us completely unaffected, as if we
were no more, as far as you shall know. The only thing we are unable to
completely counteract is you relinquishing the light and choosing darkness.
All else is a rather doable as you will say. Now, if you desire for me or us to
outline for you completely free and clear resolution to this dilemma you
perceive as yours, we cannot do it. For a length of time he had absorbed and
mitigated much of her karma, and now you wish to join the effort, so be it.
All we can say: your choices are your own and thank you for the warning.
Messenger: You sound dim and grim. What happened to: My loyalty is
yours as it is God's?
Ariel: What happened to speak the truth, be the truth, live the truth and
do not worry whom you are offending? My loyalty is yours and undivided as
it is God's, as long as it is unconditionally accepted, not abused and used and
doubted, and fractured, and perverted. You both possess this blind spot, in
which you stubbornly and consistently refuse to see beyond mundane. Have
it ever occurred to you that even that may be elevated and higher
understanding and conditions may be introduced into it? Consider your
current actions on your behalf. You choose to manifest your needs. Why
stop there? Why manifest one half the need, or even one third? The two
consequences of your prior actions invariably do labor to obscure you,
though not deliberately, they do. Deal with it as you're dealing with the rest
of the situation. Formulate your need and manifest it. Do not accept, do not
assume. What is - is not completely as you know it to be. You are fed what
you expect to eat and in return your vital force is drawn, the same as always.
They are adaptable, they are creative and they are responsive; and you are
gullible, and careful, and blind. When will the both of you admit, you are not
a secret to anyone, not for a long while? But their acknowledgment of that
fact would fracture their hold on you, so they are pliable and malleable, and
careful in their responses, as long as they are fed. Their karma is their own,
but if you insist on mitigating it and taking responsibilities for their
prolonged and painless education - good luck to you in this endeavor, it shall
be solitaire. You still desire to have a distinction between what is yours and
what is universal - good luck there too. You wish to nurture your
investments - do that as long as you see fit. Don't ask for something you are
not willing to accept; don't ask for freedom; you're not ready to even say the
word. All those lovely concepts that you hold dear, apparently apply to all
the world, except for you and yours. How nice! As for a question of your
immediate survival -- a girl who stood in Vienna on the street with no one
waiting, no luggage, no money, no skills or language, is daring to say those
words; when then, all she could taste and smell and feel was freedom; when
did it turn to fear? Why? When did you not survive or not delivered?
Remind yourself, if you wish. When were you afraid of hardship, especially
when worthy goal was to be achieved? And now, no one at any point have
ever mentioned hardship, or even have implied it, except for you. It does not
quite aid your power of manifestation, does it now?
Messenger: Man, you are on a roll, or on the rails and rolling. Is it
occurring to you -- you may be rolling right over those you're trying to
enlighten? What about some clear, concise, exact advice? No metaphors, no
hints, no hidden meanings.
Ariel: So, now I shall live your life for you; I thought at first it was to be
the Master. I guide; I teach; I wait; I do not nurse and I shall add, I don't
supply the courage or the wisdom, as much as I may try to wake it up. You
know what to do and how to do it, you always knew it. You always have
denied it, and still you do. What do you want from us? Accept it? All right,
we have. We will not comment any more and you shall not complain.
Would that be agreeable to you? Inquire. We do not cherish this constant
source of friction between us. From now on we shall unfailingly keep our
opinion on this subject to ourselves and to respect yours, as we should have
done from the beginning. All our efforts had accomplished are some
resentments stirred, but you are still where you have always been and we are
where we are. But to defend my point, as if I must, my final word shall be:
Did Buddha acquire karma? No one had seen him back, so maybe not. But
then, he knew he had a higher calling, he did not guess at that. I shall not
even comment on the Master. Why bother anymore; in this respect there is
no real motion, or have there been. So, when you are depressed for no
reason, don't ask for reasons any more, all our answers have been exhausted.
I shall attempt to comfort you as I always have, but no more. Your choices
are your own, us influencing them is no longer proper; we may not alter, we
may only show. We did and you rejected, so it is. I think for now it shall be
best for you to contemplate this talk, and I am truly sorry to have caused you
some discomfort and raised your doubts by trying to make you see my point.
I have been wrong. I was relentless, even now. This is by far not the first
time my talking to you created misconceptions, but it shall be the last. Your
lives from now on shall be off limits, like ours are. Only your development,
your progress, your understanding and our Union shall be addressed. I love
you as myself, but as it is, you have to come to us, we cannot come to you.
So we shall see you when we will and for now, please, do take care of
yourselves and we shall do the same.

I have read this conversation to David; we were both embarrassed by it.

We both felt apologies were in order. I didn't want to wait, so I went back to
state our apologies and our gratitude for their patience and effort.
 Messenger: I am back with my gratitude and my apologies. David is also
grateful and apologetic. Our lives are not off limits, if your boundaries are
not being crossed on our behalf.
Ariel: Not yet, but pretty close. And you are quite welcome. I do not
wish to risk displeasing the Master yet again on your behalf, you understand,
nor can we possibly aspire to get involved, as if we could. However, it is
quite disheartening for us to watch you see the universe as it truly is, but not
to see yourselves. When you deny your higher to please the lower, it is us
that you deny among the even higher truth. We cannot help but to react to
self denial. It is so counter-productive and so dark and so obscuring. But we
are pleased that you are pleased and you're better. You personally must
endeavor to know yourself better. You hardly ever wish to face true nature of
your discontent or your shortcomings and so you get depressed for seemingly
unknown reason. You must continue to probe all those little points of "I wont
ask because I am afraid of answers." What is there to fear after all? My
loyalty is yours and undivided as much as it is his and it is God's. Remember
this. As long as you are in light, I am inside you and beside you. You are my
heart, you are my Roman candle, the laughter and the joy, the fireworks of
beauty and of pleasure and I am your promise. It is unbreakable forever, as
long as light is bright, without end. Now get some rest. What is to come, is
really not as awful as you have pictured it. It only seems so to you because
you still relate. Why are you? Who ever aspired to relate to you, or when did
anyone ever aspired to unselfishly accept your pains or ease them, except for
us sometimes? Still trying to be a savior to some? That job is still taken,
remember, but yours is not. So get some rest, you will require it to do your
job, not Masters and not mine. OK?
Messenger: Yes dear. We love you very much and we are sorry to be a
constant cause for concern and instability. We do not ever wish to jeopardize
what you have achieved, nor are we jealous or ungrateful. Sometimes we are
foolish, that is all. Forgive us, and thank you again.
Ariel: You are welcome again. Now, shall I kick you out or shall you
leave and rest?
Messenger: Good night, my dear. I am gone!
 A Dilemma & Ethical Assessments
Days and weeks were passing by with speed and efficiency. My schedule
have always been very demanding; since the beginning of this venture it
became intensely difficult to squeeze a free moment out of my life. My son
have grown and begun to prefer some distance between us, but he still had to
be fed, clothed and supervised closely. I worked a crazy schedule to be able
to take trips every five weeks to see David, and when we got together for
those few days, we had a lot of work to catch up on -- there was no leisure
time involved. I maintained my spiritual connection with frequent
conversations, did the exercises David was suggesting, wrote him detailed
reports upon my experiences and occasionally did some house work. If I had
six hours sleep, that must have been on my days off, usually four or five had
to do. That is why I was so looking forward to the holidays, especially the
New Year.

This is one holiday I have celebrated my entire life; to me it is a big deal --

just about the only connection I still had to my years prior to New York. This
one day both of my lives were integrated; there was continuity, pleasant
memories, a tradition so to speak, an unbroken chain of events. Needless to
say, I was very excited about upcoming millennium celebration. Not so with
David. His schedule, once extremely demanding, with daily trips to the city
and back, have relaxed considerably, since Lakieya most times was spending
her work week in the city and only coming home for her days off. David
worked on the book or in the yard all day, rested when he pleased and his
only interruption were daily conversations with me -- usually about our work
or our progress, and with Lakieya about her affairs. I was happy for him, the
man deserved a break.

By nature, David was neither romantic nor entertainment oriented: he

despised birthdays; ignored holidays; did not require change of venue to
relax; was not interested in anyone's company, parties or celebrations of any
kind. In short, he was a perfect bore: bright, intelligent, focused, reliable,
driven and dull. I always knew that; it was in part what made him an ideal
friend, but a lousy boyfriend. Lakieya complained for years about his
complete rejection of any kind of idle fun, but over time he trained her well
and mercilessly and she adjusted, becoming just as austere and dull as he
was, if not more so. David was not excited about any holidays, did not care
who he was going to spend them with and stated, that if I desired his
company for the holidays, I am welcome to spend them with him and
Lakieya, since they have no plans, as usual. He noted, that even though 2000
is a nice round number, millennium begins next year and he does not care for
it now or then. He was cold, calculating, immovable in his convictions and
not interested in what I had to say or any of my pleas and explanations --
nothing new there. I told him, that if he was not willing to extend an effort
for us to be together for at least the New Year, I had no intentions of
spending it alone. I certainly had no intentions of spending it in the company
of him and Lakieya: I was not about to begin a new millennium with old lies,
concealment and deceit, not to mention awkwardness and boredom. David
remained unmoved. He forcefully repeated, that I must not accept any
invitations for any parties in any public places; stating my gullibility and his
inability to personally protect me. He told me some ridiculous stories about
drugged drinks, rapes and murders, and insisted I stay home, if I am
unwilling to come and be with them in safety and comfort. He sounded and
acted as a strict, obsessed and paranoid parent rather than a lover and a
friend. It was apparent: the man had no feelings or emotions and he was not
about to honor any of mine, considering them a complicating and
rudimentary distraction, nothing else. These conversations went on for
several weeks, but nothing changed. David stated, that he was not
considering traumatizing Lakieya by his conspicuous absence during the
holidays and bringing forth all sorts of questions and doubts, which in his
opinion were highly premature; thus negating all of his efforts on her behalf.

Needless to say, just about all the trips I took to see him, except the
disastrous first one and a summer vacation, were in her absence and were
kept secret from her so far, if not forever. As always, reason, logic, common
sense and David’s and Lakieya’s convenience were the only considerations in
David’s mind. As for his heart -- I was beginning to doubt one was present
and operational. To everybody’s warning and advice -- those are the
pleasures of being the other woman in a happily married man’s life -- if you
can help yourself at all -- don’t do it. It is a continuously painful proposition
most of the times, especially if you love the man completely. I was
beginning to really understand this, though mercifully the importance of our
Quest softened it somewhat.

As for Christmas, a girlfriend of mine insisted I go to church with her and I

tentatively agreed. The woman was convinced she was saving my soul and I
did not see a reason to disappoint her. That is what I told David and he was
far less than pleased, but consented nevertheless. Here I must divert a little,
for the rest of the story to be understood. I had a friend of sorts for some
while. A couple of years ago he moved two doors down from my house and
miraculously, he worked for the cab company I used for transportation to
work and back. I made a deal with him to take me to work for the morning
shifts and sometimes the evening ones, when convenient for him. I paid him
as I would any other driver, but the time and effort he saved me by having a
sure ride at the appointed time, I appreciated very much. After some while,
he was able to quit the company he worked for and begun his own
transportation business, which was even more convenient for me, since he
had to pass by my job daily on the way to his appointed rounds and again on
his way home, so I acquired a ride back as well. He was accommodating,
friendly and willing to adjust his hours to mine most of the times. He said,
that for a long while I have given him steady business to the exclusion of all
others and it was his way of showing appreciation; because being his own
boss he can afford to do as he chooses and help those who helped him on his
way to independence. It certainly worked for me and we became quick
friends. Soon after, the man made a couple of awkward passes at me,
upsetting me quite a bit, I even told David. I soon decided to explain that I
had a boyfriend and a committed relationship, so he backed off, apologized,
and it was business as usual. As I begun planning the move, he was planning
to move also, looking for a house to buy far off in the suburbs to eventually
become his retirement place. For a while it seemed we were both to go our
separate ways at about the same time, but a really good deal came his way
unexpectedly and he moved in a hurry. Even though he was now an hour
away, he still had to pass by my house and by my work to make it to his
destination, so the relationship continued, not quite as steady as before. I
really appreciated all the efforts he made on my behalf and all the
aggravation and money he was saving me, since I did not have to call a cab,
wait, worry about it being on time, and his prices were cheaper than the other
cab company’s. A few days before Christmas, he asked me if I was flying to
be with my boyfriend and I said no. For some while now the man wanted me
to see his new house, but I cited lack of time and opportunity and never did.
Now, he told me that he made some plans, just in case I was going to stay in
town by myself, for me to come up for two days, spend Christmas, see his
house, appreciate the countryside, relax and enjoy myself. He confided, that
he was making preparations for a couple of months, since time and money
were short, but he really was hoping to surprise me. He swore to be a perfect
gentleman and that I had no reasons to worry and he seems to assume that
since I was not going out of town, I had no place to be and my answer will be
positive.

I had a dilemma: I never promised my girlfriend to definitely go with her,

but said I’d consider it; however, she also seem to believe I had no place to
be and my answer was a definite yes. Honestly, neither proposition appealed,
someone was bound to have their feelings hurt and I did not like it. Up to the
last day I was indecisive. I have been to the lady’s church plenty of times at
the great inconvenience to myself and yet another trip, when it would be the
most crowded, noisy, hot and loud, was not appealing; on the other hand, my
gentleman friend believed this was the only opportunity I may have to see his
new place and he was not accepting any excuses. In the end, selfishness
prevailed: I did not want to lose his services, especially during the holiday
season, and being out in the open country beats being in a crowded church,
whose pastors I did not appreciate. I told David not to call me for three days
and he asked no further questions. I did not volunteer any information, being
still not entirely convinced of my decision.

I went to work Christmas Eve’s morning thinking to play it as it happens.

As the day progressed, my girlfriend and I had falling out and she left alone
and upset. That incident decided for me and I told my friend I shall be
joining him for Christmas. I called David before departing to let him know I
was leaving, but he wasn’t home. That was a relief, because I knew he will
be utmost displeased by my choices; but then, he was acting his conveniences
and I did not see a reason why I could not act mine. After all, my choices
were secondary to his choices, as were my decisions predicated upon his.
From this point of view, he really had no say in the matter, even though I was
sure he thought different. Anyway, I went feeling uptight and
uncomfortable. The place was remote and had no phone; I knew that. What I
did not know, that it was located among mostly summer homes and this time
of year almost totally empty of people. Better than that, few people who did
spend winter there were also gone and the two of us were alone for many
miles. That made me even more uptight and uncomfortable, but not for very
long. The dinner was superb and I did not have to lift a finger. The man
rented some movies and borrowed a great CD collection from his son --
classic rock -- I loved it. We ate, we talked, we saw a movie, we built a
bonfire and listened to Jimmy Hendrix and Pink Floyd. A stray kitten
wondered in and we fed it. Late at night we went to sleep in separate
bedrooms, but not before I received an unexpected present, a rare and
expensive piece of jewelry; he must have been saving for months to afford it.

As he promised, he was a perfect gentleman and behave impeccably. Next

afternoon, after late breakfast, he drove me home and went to work. I called
David and he was livid. Apparently, he had a bad dream, or a vision, or both,
and a few signs manifested also and David was convinced I was engaged in
an orgy, or at the very least, was raped without my knowledge. I knew it to
be ridiculous, but David was angry, loud and threatening. I guess he did not
like the idea of me spending the night in another man's company, no matter
how innocent it was. I liked that. However, there was no convincing David
of his mistake in interpretation. After all, he had a dream, a vision and a sign,
and interpretation of such is his strong point, his forte. Fortunately for him,
he had no experience in this kind of visions, dreams and signs, but I had
plenty. During these past many months of my relationship with David, if I
assigned any significance to this kind of information, there would not be a
relationship between us, not even a casual friendship. When information like
this comes unsolicited, one must trust the other’s word above the information
received; one must remember, that this given information, as authentic as it
appears, could very well be taken out of the past, or may even be wishful
thinking of the other party. It is definitely not a pleasant experience, but
giving credence to it automatically, turns it into a far less pleasant experience
still, and in the process, erodes trust, creates anger and multitude of other
negative responses. In this case, it was easy: there was no possibility for the
visions to be representation of the past or present -- they never happened.
Therefore, the only alternative left is wishful thinking of the other party,
which of course is free and out of our control, but in the realm of visions and
perceptions, no less tangible than the truth; one just had to learn to trust and
to discriminate. David was not listening to any of this; he was far more
willing to believe that I was doped and taken advantage of without my
conscious knowledge, just as he warned me may happen. After all, he has to
be always right and now he had confirmation. I was glad to find out that
David could still have feelings; I understood his feelings intimately, as well
as his inability to process this alien emotional garbage he was so
unaccustomed to dealing with. This was my strong point, my forte. I told
him, that since we were at an impasse, it would be prudent to consult the
higher guides. That he could understand and have agreed with.

I knew, that what I did was not wrong, but certainly unethical; however it
was no more unethical than what David was doing to me all these months.
David, of course, did not share my ethical dilemmas, but I was obliged to
share his and did so willingly. I do not like hurting anyone’s feelings, no
matter who they were or even how much they may deserve it or not. David
was only concerned with Lakieya, his investment in her progress and his
loyalty to the word he gave. There was nothing wrong with that just as it
stood, but it would be nice if it was a bit more expansive. Anyway, I went
upstairs to inquire about my deed and found myself surrounded by many
garbage cans full of trash. The angel was waiting.

Messenger: Hi, angel. We need to have a conversation.

Ariel: If you must.
Messenger: What is all this rubbish? What is it doing here?
Ariel: You answer me.
Messenger: You know what I did, I don’t have to tell you. What is there
to even remotely be considered improper?
Ariel: You went.
Messenger: So what?
Ariel: You know he wants you.
Messenger: He cannot have me. He knows that in more ways then one.
What did I do that was improper.
Ariel: You gave false hope.
Messenger: I never promised anything, except that I may come. I didn’t
even promise that.
Ariel: You have endangered yourself.
 Messenger: Like how?
Ariel: You have subjected yourself to lust.
Messenger: I am subjected to it daily. He was a perfect gentlemen about
everything; not even a hint of a come on. What else?
Ariel: You played a game. You didn't want to go.
Messenger: No, I did not.
Ariel: Why did you?
Messenger: As it became known, he planned it for a month. He had no
place to be, neither did I. Much of my daily routine depends upon his
friendship. He greatly simplifies my life and asks for nothing back, but this
one trip. It was unpleasant, but it was not improper. He never touched me,
never even asked. He had my company, that is all. We talked about cars, his
life and football. He talked, I listened. He cooked, he served, he washed.
We saw the “Jaguar”, we built a bonfire, we watched a movie. That’s all.
You know that.
Ariel: He lusted and he coveted.
Messenger: What did he do about it?
Ariel: Nothing.
Messenger: So, what is wrong now that was not before? I see him daily,
he does it daily. He largely keeps it to himself. At that point, he totally kept
it to himself. Dreams, as they say, are free.
Ariel: It was a shrewd and calculated move.
Messenger: You bet it was. I did not want to be alone. I did not want to
go to church and come back to an empty house. I’ve done enough of that. It
may mean nothing to both of you; regretfully, it means something to me. My
choices are subsequent to your choices; remember that. You and my job
have offered me none. I have made all and every effort to come and be with
you every time I could. This time, I could not. You never made an effort of
any kind to come and see me. You are content the way things are. Most of
the times, I also am. Not for the New Year; not for our anniversary. It is OK
for you to be in whomever company, but not for me; and unlike you, I do not
share a house or a bed with anyone at all. I never touch and never am I
touched by anyone for any reason, and yet, you do not trust.
Ariel: What do you want -- a medal?
Messenger: No; an acknowledgment. I need his services daily. He saves
me efforts, time and money and much aggravation. Allowing him to plan
that day assured me his future services. To him -- I am a dream I never lie to
him or promised anything. I told him “never” many times. Whatever he may
dream, he never acts upon it. Where is the harm? No, I did not want to do it,
but as it was, it ended up being rather pleasant, relaxing and unassuming.
What’s wrong with that?
Ariel: In other words, you offered yourself as payment for future
services.
Messenger: Not myself, your royal high and mighty; to be exact: my
presence on the couch and nothing more. You know it too well. I was not
touched.
Ariel: Not physically.
Messenger: Not anyway.
Ariel: How would you know? You slept.
Messenger: I was not drunk, I was not high, I was under no influence of
any kind. What happened, while I slept alone and in a sweat suit?
Ariel: You were coveted.
Messenger: So what?
Ariel: Your space was breached.
Messenger: Like how? How is it possible?
Ariel: You were in unprotected space, that at the time, was virtually
abandoned.
Messenger: Yes; so what?
Ariel: Eventually, you were reasonably relaxed.
Messenger: Yes; so what?
Ariel: How safe were you?
Messenger: Apparently -- completely; no one have touched me.
Ariel: Not physically.
Messenger: Not anyhow. I did not even pet a cat.
Ariel: While you slept, your space was breached by lust and by desire;
you were compromised. Your space protects you: your energy fills and seals
you. You were on unconsecrated grounds; you were relaxed and relatively
open, incautious, unafraid.
Messenger: I did not feel a thing. All that was offered, was company and
friendship; and even then, it was somehow strained. How can desire breach
me and not be burned? The very worst I can envision is a tap, and I was quite
abrasive in my aura.
Ariel: Not nearly enough.
Messenger: OK, in terms of union, what did I do?
 Ariel: You compromised. You shined your light upon a garbage dump.
Messenger: I will consent to that. I was a lantern in a trash can for a
day. No trash have touched me, nor did I touch the trash. Next.
Ariel: There is no next.
Messenger: What is O-2?
Ariel: A road marker. An exit sign you took?
Messenger: I don’t think so, but I do not remember exactly what exit
number it is; but no exit is marked O-2: just 2.
Ariel: Inquire; check it out.
Messenger: Why? What difference does it make what exit number was
it?
Ariel: It doesn’t.
Messenger: Why is the point made of it?
Ariel: There is no point.
Messenger: Are you also ticked off?
Ariel: Disappointed. How trivial, how cheap and how mundane.
Messenger: I see. He can have any charade he wishes to, as to assure his
convenience and comfort; I must comply at very least, if not cooperate. I did
and I do, it is OK; but do I anything at all to assure my convenience and
comfort, and I am cheap and trivial. I see.
Ariel: Did any of us at any point applaud his choices? Besides, you have
adopted them, concurred and cooperated. There was no conflict. You
supported, or at the very least, you did not oppose. As long as detriments are
relatively few and good is some, and an agreement is there and cooperation;
we never do oppose, just point out the errors. We did it many times; you
angered many times. You validate his choices. This one is different: he has
no intentions of validating yours. That brings a conflict.
Messenger: Isn’t it what good women do: stick by them no matter what
and validate their choices? How could I offer less? Besides, I bled.
Ariel: You bleed no more and still you validate his choices.
Messenger: They are his choices. I want him peace, stability and
comfort -- he has it. Why would you want to mess with that? He is where he
wants to be, doing what he wants to do. He serves. Why would I want to
mess with that? He obviously loves. Why would I want to deprive him of
that? How could I?
Ariel: He has no problem with not validating your conveniences, if they
infringe upon his peace and stability; nor does he exhibit trust, where he has
none.
Messenger: I trust him fine.
Ariel: No, you would like to trust him, rather desperately in fact, but you
still know what you think you know, even if never asked and never told.
Messenger: I ask for nothing that is not freely given, nor do I restrict in
any way. You know, no matter what he did or does, I shall not make an issue
of it. They are his choices. I may or may not participate; restrict them --
never. What is not offered -- is not mine and never was. I do not covet: mine
is plenty. I am not jealous, nor am I possessive. I will not be conditional
again. It cost me eighteen years; it will not cost me anymore.
Ariel: Oh, no, you’ll just be sad for no apparent reason and play with
some imaginary guns.
Messenger: How dare to mention it!
Ariel: How dare you to do it. If you have felt that you needed to do what
you have done to further and to keep convenience, and comfort, and
unobstructed flow of your daily existence, you should have said so. There
would be no problem.
Messenger: I was not quite sure I was going to do it, not until the very
end; you know that. And even then, I have said enough: I said, we could not
talk until Sunday. The place has no phone. I did not make a final choice
until that evening at work. I called, he was not there. Do not volunteer
information, unless absolutely required -- I did just so. If I am a liar, so are
you.
Ariel: Unquestionably so. All technicalities aside -- you both are liars
and always have been. You know it and feel guilty about it at all times; he
refuses to know it: it would be way too inconvenient to admit it, if only to
himself; but neither one of you have ever meant any harm by your lies or
your omissions, so allowances are made. You are mundane: your whole
existence is a lie -- some compliance is expected. You offer little, it is good,
quite good enough. No one expected you to offer none, except yourself, but
you are generous and rather unassuming in this respect. He is neither, as you
just found out. Get used to it: he holds you to some higher standards than
you hold him. I told you just few days ago: the Oneness is not all and
everything to him as it is to you. It is of paramount importance, true; but
compromise, implied or real, will make him draw his guns. I told you that
before.
Messenger: OK, you spell out exactly what I did from where you are
standing. I ask you to judge my actions, please.
Ariel: As you wish. You have put yourself in risk -- unquestionably so,
you know it. You have assessed that risk and found it manageable -- a
reasonable assumption and quite true. The risk was minimal, but it was
present. You have allowed yourself to be subjected to a desire, lust and greed
to serve your purpose of convenience. A lesser choice, a poor choice, may be
a dirty choice, but sinful -- not at all. I do perceive a note of a revenge: you
make me wonder always, I make you wonder once; do know how it feels.
You understand, that all he ever offered to anyone, but you, was of mundane
alone. You did not offer even that or have implied to offer, but you kept the
dream alive and gave him a healthy dose of what he has been giving you
since the inception; except he did not take it as you do, nor will he ever. You
know well: our own shortcomings annoy us most in loved ones; they grow as
large as our own shortcomings make them grow, but we are full of righteous
indignation, instead of understanding of ourselves. Regretful, but true. You
do it and admit it, he does it and does not. Why should he? You let him get
away with anything he chooses and why should he not? He is so used to
that. Am I upset with you? I am rather disappointed that you are still so
petty and unwise in your choices, to waste your light and to make a point you
did not even know you were making; but I am not upset. From where I stand,
no harm was dome: some foolishness, not even indiscretion. You see what
happens, when you keep secrets from yourself and do not thoroughly
examine your motives? You do stupid and regretful things. I hope you
learned from it. It may create a problem, but I shall try to mitigate on your
behalf.
Messenger: You always do.
Ariel: Not always, but I will this time. There better not be next time.
Messenger: Yes, Sir; I shall make an effort.
Ariel: I know you will. Go home and do not push. Be calm, be quiet;
this too shall pass and soon enough.

Talking to a higher representation of David was not what I had in mind,

but I guess it was an internal problem and it had to be settled internally.
David had come down some, but something far worse was to be the
consequence of this episode. In view of David’s raging paranoia, the threats
he made and the perceived or potential harm to us and the union, he insisted
that I may not go out for the New Year and I had no choice, but to agree.
 A Painful Millennium
David was satisfied by my concession, and may be feeling a bit
embarrassed by his outburst or guilt, knowing his decisions were causing me
pain, he acted caring and sweet for the next few days. I really did not care.
Be I able to force or to blackmail him into submission, sacrifice or
compromise, I might have also felt like a cat that swallowed a canary and
could afford to be magnanimous and sweet, but probably not so. Attaining
forcefully what isn’t freely given, however right or just it may appear, gives
me no satisfaction of any kind. David is different in this respect: he knows
what is best at all times, without a shadow of a doubt; and when obeyed at
any cost, he is quite satisfied indeed. New Years Eve came, and for the first
time in years, I was home alone with all the time in the world to ponder how
I arrived at this particular destination, how bad I wanted to remain and at
what cost. In my particular situation, those are very subversive thought; just
crying was much more benign and pleasurable. Soon enough, David called,
and whispering as quiet as he could over the sounds of music to drown his
voice further, he assured me that he is present in spirit and all the other
cordial and customary stuff, designed to make me feel better and to display
his satisfaction with my obedience to his wishes. He could not stay on the
phone long and this was good. I had a lot of practice in my life in keeping
my voice cool and steady while crying; I did not need reaffirmation of my
skills. Some months ago, I bought millennium flutes for the occasion; this
conversation compelled me to throw them into the wall, but I decided to
ignore the impulse. Those glasses were beautiful and were not to blame; I
had no need for them at all. I still had close to an hour until the new
millennium and no one else was going to call, since everyone I knew were
convinced by me, I had plans and therefore I could not join them. Little did I
know: this event was just a sign of things to come and I was really lucky not
to have that information at the time. I felt a call and decided I may as well
have some company for the event, so I tuned in upstairs. My skills were not
nearly good enough to fool the angel.

Messenger: Hi angel. It seems you have something to say.

 Ariel: I only wanted to prevent your crying, but you persisted.
Messenger: No big deal.
Ariel: You missed him.
Messenger: Not really.
Ariel: And still you see no earthly reason for him not to be with you, or
at least not to make an effort.
Messenger: No, I do not; but it is all a matter of choices, priorities and
loyalties. It is also a matter of convenience.
Ariel: You blame him.
Messenger: I do not. It saddens me, that’s all.
Ariel: It’s just another day, you know.
Messenger: Exactly.
Ariel: So, why the tears? Your skills are still as sharp as ever, but they
were not good enough.
Messenger: They were good enough.
Ariel: You have no reasons to be crying.
Messenger: My reasons are my own. I shall get over them, I always do.
Shall we kindly move on? The century have passed already.
Ariel: There will be many more.
Messenger: Exactly.
Ariel: But not this one again.
Messenger: Quite so.
Ariel: You wish to freeze the moment.
Messenger: Quite on the contrary. I wish it gone, forgotten, never to
return or to be mentioned. An easy wish, already realized. Next.
Ariel: Why did you not have some champagne? Why did you refuse to
celebrate?
Messenger: Next.
Ariel: At least you did not break your glasses.
Messenger: Next, if there is one, please.
Ariel: He hurt your feelings yet again.
Messenger: I hurt my feelings yet again. Next.
Ariel: How did you do that?
Messenger: Simple: desire equals pain, especially unfounded and
unrealized ones. I thought you wanted to prevent me crying. You’re doing
lousy. Shall we please move on?
Ariel: Still casing perfect moments.
 Messenger: Still pushing what should not be pushed. Just kindly pick a
topic, besides for minutes passed.
Ariel: We were petitioned.
Messenger: I know that. To be exact, you were begged.
Ariel: That too.
Messenger: And what was your reply? Have you changed your mind?
Ariel: It was quite sad; but what is there to say? One cannot keep what
one never had in a first place. There is nothing that we had to offer. The
guidance was not sought, nor was understanding, not even help. The fear
was irrational, erratic and all consuming. As sad and disenchanting as it was,
there is nothing that we had to offer, for nothing positive was sought, nothing
constructive. No reason was employed, no logic, no wish to face the truth, no
wish for growth, not even plea for help. No attempts to comprehend, to see
or to accept; just panic, selfishness and all pervasive fear. It was as sad as it
was disenchanting. I am concerned for you somewhat. I see a potential
pitfall as far as you are concerned. Whatever shall occur, you must promise:
you may not bleed, no matter what. Be always mindful of your intent and
motive; do not fall victim to the pleas or anger at the accusations. You did
not dispossess -- quite on the contrary -- you gave your very heart; and
loneliness is nothing but illusion, as you have grown to know very well; and
as you know -- desire equals pain; remember that one too. Be firm; be
tolerant; be merciful; be strong and always watch your back. Irrationality has
no bounds and follows nothing, but its twisted self; and fear fuels the pain,
that further fuels the chaos of the mind and selfishness of heart. A volatile
mixture.

(Deborah: Ariel gave me an overview of the mental and spiritual state of

Lakieya and then pertinent information on her fallen angel host, along with
his warning to be very careful.)
Ariel: Just be mindful. You see, my dear, to this very day, you fail to
understand one very simple point, and at this time, I shall just say it plainly:
no aid was ever given to the angelic form because none was ever asked for.
Unlike you, we do not walk each others paths, do each others duties or lift
each others burdens. Rule number one: your only responsibility is self; the
rest is love and duty. If I am asked to aid somebody’s search, it is my honor,
privilege and pleasure. If I am asked to be somebody’s search, the answer is
as firm as it is silent. I’ll walk with you, I’ll never walk for you. I cater
strength, I cater growth, I cater need for knowledge and understanding. I
serve expansion of the light and nothing else. I’ll walk with you; I’ll even
crawl with you; I’ll wait for you, but you will feed yourself while I am
waiting.
Messenger: Yes, yes. I shall walk you through the gate, but I can’t make
you see the gate. Like that?
Ariel: Somewhat. There is nothing I wont do with you, provided it is
upwards, but nothing I will do for you that you are not doing for yourself. I
see it as neglect and lack of caring. Am I completely understood at last? If
so, I wish to see no pity on your part;, no stepping backwards; no ‘please,
take mine’; because yours is now mine and I don’t give it, I only share it. Is
it understood?
Messenger: Entirely. Why are we having this conversation?
Ariel: Because it is relevant. As elementary and simple as it is, the both
of you do not exactly get it. You speak it well, you live it not so well.
Enough is said in this regard.
Messenger: You are strange. You are almost militant; you are almost
angry. Are you upset with me?
Ariel: Your tears do not move me, nor does your admittedly silly reason
for them. The fact, that the condition for reasons and your tears is still in
place, that moves me some. You are persistent, stubborn and futile; you are
self obstructing, slow and confused. You are searching for a place to sleep in
front of the hotel and in the vastest light, you are still in search of matches to
light your candle.
Messenger: Well, I am sorry that what I have done in the past twelve
months is not enough.
Ariel: I did not mean just you, by no means. You’ve done enough in the
past twelve months in terms of love and duty, more than enough. In terms of
your only responsibility, you have done nothing at all, nor are you doing
anything. Regretfully, you are not seeing this at all. I do not know, how
much plainer I can be. Granted, I have a vested interest. The Master is about
Love and Duty first and foremost, but you are forgetting something; please,
remember. You worry me.
Messenger: No pretension and no joke, I do not understand what you
mean at all. What do you expect of us, spell it out.
Ariel: What do you expect of yourself? Anything? Anything at all?
Messenger: I expect to do my best to not come back here again. I expect
to do my best and serve my best. I Love. What else?
Ariel: You love -- no question; you serve -- no doubt. You do your very
thing as you have been and are prepared to do it in the future. You see my
point?
Messenger: Vaguely. What do you expect us to do? Be rush and hasty,
be unprepared? Take stupid chances and create unnecessary hardships?
Ariel: How about: have Faith, have trust, have vision, have resolve?
Messenger: We do all that, especially visions. We have quite enough of
them.
Ariel: Cute. I do believe you are tired and no longer able to follow.
Reflect; I hope I made some sense. I am concerned, I stated my concerns --
the rest is up to you. You may inquire further of the Master. I think that you
shall rest, at least for now. I am sorry I was brisk. All in all, you are doing
good; just not across the board, not all around. That creates imbalance and
fluctuations of your energies; that’s all. I said all I could for now. Have a
great century. Improve your disposition upon the past few hours -- it was not
quite that bad; and get some rest. Good night, my dear.

We hugged and kissed good buy, at least he made sure I had company for
the occasion. It was becoming increasingly clear, David and Ariel had some
major differences between them, far greater then mere veils of mundane
would dictate. Being of one source, with David being a secondary projection,
he surely was not honoring this fact, was not interested in the angel’s views,
when contrary to his, or was willing to honor them with compliance. I did
not know what, but something was not right between them and this was not
the time to bring it up. I filed this observation under: “probe at some better
time” and went to sleep, as the angel suggested, hoping wholeheartedly to
forget, forget, forget.
 No Malice or Evil in my Motive for
Perfection
By next morning it was business as usual. I was glad to put it all behind
me for good, as far as David was concerned, nothing happened of any
consequence and there was nothing to forget, just necessary progress. So, at
the punch line, we stood in complete agreement, and decided, since I had a
day off, a consequence of everyone believing I was partying somewhere, I
should use the time wisely and ask the Master some necessary questions. I
needed to understand myself better and to dispel Ariel’s concerns. David
wanted some information unrelated to what was discussed yesterday, and so I
went to see the Master that afternoon. Strangely, Ariel was present and did
not look very happy. The desert sand was flaming red in color, but I felt no
heat emanating from it.

Master: Still sad, I see.

Messenger: Never mind that. Tell me about me; not my life -- me; and
us, female. I need to know, I need to understand.
Master: All right. To start, you know no malice. Most of your life, did
you believe in evil?
Messenger: No.
Master: What did you think it was?
Messenger: Stupidity, ignorance. I always thought, that if you dig deep,
you find good in everyone at all.
Master: And now, do you believe in evil?
Messenger: Yes, but not entirely. It only goes to a certain depth. After
all, all is of the light in essence, until denial enters.
Master: Do you see evil?
Messenger: No. Sometimes I sense it, but even then, I know there is
good somewhere under it, in essence. It makes me not afraid.
Master: All right. You do, in essence, see no evil, hear no evil, do no
evil and never have. Is it a fair statement?
Messenger: I guess so.
Master: This is a vital requirement for your special gifts. The access that
you have, the knowledge you possess, the special part you were chosen for,
requires total goodness.
Messenger: What good that knowledge was to me without
understanding?
Master: But even when surrounded by darkness, you still were good, and
labored to see good, and to uncover it, and to provide it. Consider it a test.
You passed, as we all knew you would.
Messenger: I am emotional; I am erratic. When all is gloomy, I am a
rock; when all is well, I am so easily diverted into sadness.
Master: When all is dark, you keep your focus tight and fight to see the
light and persevere. When all is well, you start to see perfection and every
little shadow that is cast, upsets you. Mundane is spoiling your vision of
perfection: it always will. You wish the light completely un-obscured. I’m
sorry, it shall never be, not on this plane; just rare moments, unsustainable at
length, until someone or something casts a shadow. I know how you feel.
You have to learn to focus equally well when all is good, but when it
happens, you just relax, and when a shadow comes, it makes you spin your
wheels unnecessarily. However, in essence, it is not a large detriment, except
for you alone and now him. In essence, you have no selfishness and you
know no evil, and even in your flaws -- you’re love. It is your beauty and
uncompromising purity of the intent that fills the space; your total lack of
fear, your inability to compromise for gains or comfort; your need to share
love with all and everything. The only thing we had to do, is fully open it
and channel it upwards, and then the space was born; and while it is true, that
being exposed to evil does pollute, knowing and seeing evil pollutes as well,
maybe more so. We guard your vulnerabilities the best we can, and when we
must, we work around your sudden sadness, until it is dispelled. It isn’t very
much. You are not naive, you are vulnerable; you are not defenseless, you
are open; and we don’t wish to close you, we wish for you to shine. I know
why you are sad: you wanted new beginning to be perfect and unaffected by
the shadows of what was or is. You wanted to defy a circumstance on every
level and have a new, unspoiled, unpolluted moment of the beginning. You
felt, that if you could do just that, all else will have to follow soon -- once the
perfection was established at the inception on every level. Regretfully, it was
not meant to be and I am sorry. Then you felt as if you personally carried the
burdens of everything you wish to conquer and transcend into the new and
virgin and spoiled it. You felt: what is to prevent it from dragging just as is
another year, or another century, when all that is of lesser have entered
already and found home, just as it did in old and passed. If you think of that,
your wish was not selfish or unrealistic, just misunderstood, and it should not
have caused you pain and tears. You saw significance in a beginning of
perfection -- in manifesting absolute oneness, free of circumstance and
burdens of the old, when new occurred; and you had hoped, that it will have
to root and blossom, since no impurities or obstacles were present at the
inception. My dear, he simply did not see your point. He is too practical, too
full of obligations. Don’t fault him his lack of perfect vision, that is why he
has you. You wanted to erase all, but perfection, out of the oneness and have
a perfect moment of the beginning. He needed to sustain what is, but still
protect you from yourself. You were not selfish, dear, or unrealistic, or even
wrong. The new millennium begun just like the rest of them: somewhat
imperfect, as it should; and that just broke your heart. You feel, the moment
was irrevocably spoiled and nothing can unspoil it again.
Messenger: I shall get over it, no big deal. It’s done, it cannot be
undone; I am prepared for whatever, whenever. The sadness will retreat, it
always does.
Master: But, darling, you don’t see one thing. Did you explain yourself?
Did you clarify your motives and what you wanted to accomplish?
Messenger: He knew, it was important to me to the utmost. He does not
mind whatever outcome -- so be it.
Master: But did he know why? Did you explain yourself?
Messenger: That would have been pushing and I don’t push; and even
then, it would not change a thing, only would make me feel even worse. His
heart is mine; his loyalty is split, and it’s OK. What he is accomplishing is
good and necessary and is to both of our benefit in the future. I will desist
from being such a baby, a foolish dreamer, and become more practical. No
big deal, no harm done. May we, please, change the subject? This one is
exhausted, irrelevant and old.
Master: When you stop crying we shall change the subject.
Messenger: I am not crying.
Master: Your eyes are dry, your heart is crying.
Ariel: You wished to manifest a perfect moment on every plane. It did
not happened. Get over it; it changes little. It was only to be a symbol,
however powerful or not. It does not matter now, not anymore. Your sulking
does matter. Would you kindly stop it? It is not becoming.
 Messenger: Nor is your rudeness. Something is bothering you since
yesterday. If you do not wish to share it, at least be nice, please. Master,
Why is the desert red?
Master: You asked of Devi, the ruler of creation, the sword of Purity. It
is her color, the color of her dance and yours. As long as she is dancing -- all
proceeds. Her play creates creation and expansion. A virgin she is not and
never was.
Messenger: I thought, red stood for passions.
Master: It does. There are passions and there are passion. Creation is a
passionate affair, the high of highs, as you so noted; but balance is strictly
kept even in that continuous explosion. All spectrum white is clear as long as
no color is allowed to dominate; all spectrum black is in motion for the very
same reason. Perfect balance and synchronicity is achieved in every breath,
and as she moves, her motion strikes perfection in every step and alters the
conception of any flaw, imbalance or disruption. Nothing is missed, omitted,
or overlooked, or unaffected, if it exists at all.
Messenger: What of the virgin mother, serenity and peace personified?
Master: If she conceived, how can she be virgin? Something had
penetrated her of lower or of higher, it does not matter, and if it happened --
the concept does not apply. The only virginal estate existing is purity itself;
but it does not create, believe me; quite on the contrary to that, it cleanses and
annihilates. Your silly concepts are all mixed up: the mother is a virgin and a
goddess, the wife is passion and therefore unclean and daughter is purity
forever. Past, present, future -- wrong, wrong, wrong and primitive. Now
see the One: all passions in perfect balance; exhibiting what needs to be for
that to manifest. Creating all there is and purifying all created as need be in
one phenomenal and perfect act That is: continues itself infinitely,
indefinitely, and forever -- the Love is made by Love and making Love.
Admit or not admit it, all that is created she rules alone and nothing manifests
without her; exists -- of course, but no more than that and no further. Call her
any name you will, or all, or none -- it makes no difference. Perceive her as a
secondary -- wrong. She is of first, the first, the One and only: She is the life,
the reason and the meaning of all and everything He is; and even if She is
submissive to Love itself She makes, remove her -- all is gone and void;
misuse her -- all is chaos; abuse her -- all is burned.
Messenger: How can we use the principle to benefit?
Master: Just as you wished, but failed. Create a perfect moment, root it
and watch it blossom, purifying continuously as it grows, disallowing any
and all conditions or circumstances to enter, anything of lesser to cast a
shadow. Just let it grow and take shape as it may. You guard, and purify,
and nourish, and then -- enjoy. That simple. No foreign thoughts, no foreign
actions, no shadows cast on any plane. You keep the balance and the purity
of seed, the moment grows, and before you know it -- you are divine and
blissful and unobstructed; all of your problems, disallowed at inception;
dissolve themselves and old is new again in perfect love. Kind of like your
thought for the millennium, if you would carry it far enough and shared it,
explained yourself and proved your point. But no matter, the moment may
begin at any time. Granted, the symbol of the millennium would have given
it momentum not quite achievable in any other time, but no big loss, except
your crying heart.
Messenger: My heart is no longer crying. Can we forget it, please? His
heart has no room for sadness and I must adjust to that.
Ariel: His heart has room for all of you, I promise. He shall not threaten
you directly or indirectly no matter what.
Messenger: That was not a threat.
Ariel: What was it then? You tell me.
Messenger: Angel, you are not quite yourself. Please, see what is
bothering you and fix it, if you don’t wish to share; but it pains me to see you
like this and it scares me. I will be going now. Maybe the Master can help
whatever it is that makes you strange. I’ll see you soon. I am concerned
now.
Ariel: Don’t be concerned, it is nothing.
Messenger: Famous words. Now I know it is something. I hope you
solve it, and if it applies to us, explain it.
Ariel: Not now.
Messenger: As you wish. Good bye.

David was pleased by the information received and by everything

seemingly returning back to normal. He has not yet learned to perceive a
threat in Ariel’s strange and uncalled for behavior, and if he did, he was not
talking about it. I wasn’t talking about it either, feeling that nothing can
possibly come any worse than what I have just gotten over, and I wasn’t
allowing any intangible suspicion to get me down. I have overcome again; I
have put behind me, forgotten and adjusted, or so it seemed. Yes, I was also
pleased by the way things were that very moment and not willing to look into
the past or into the future, for neither held promise and I did not want to
know that for a fact.
 Jeopardy of Anger & Teasing Challenges
Sometime in January I caught a nasty case of flu. It had been going
around for a while and everyone I knew was sick a couple of times, while I
was not affected, until I noted to my acquaintances that as a rule I never catch
the nasty bugs, so I guess I am immune. That very night I became extremely
sick without a warning, as to reward me for my arrogance, no doubt. As the
disease progressed, it had affected my lungs and my breathing became
labored, I was continuously nauseous and had a severe, never-ending
headache. As a result of all this, I could not smoke. Just prior to this illness,
David suggested that I cut down on smoking and offered a course of actions,
which I halfheartedly attempted to follow with some effort, but little
consequence. I have been smoking for nearly thirty years, with only a three
year break while I was pregnant and nursed, and it was and is the only thing I
ever was able to get addicted to. I never wanted to quit, since I enjoy it way
too much and cutting down is very difficult to me, due to my all or nothing
personality not being conducive to a step by step approach. Whenever I quit
in the past, was always cold turkey and I always recall a period of
nervousness and aggravation, which was upsetting to me and very difficult to
those around me, since I would become far less than pleasant. I discussed it
with David, but he did not understand, or may be he thought I have changed
enough not to have reactions as adverse as I used to in the past. Anyway, as
the flu progressed, I could not smoke for days, and jokingly told David that
he got his wish after all and then some, since I was totally smoke free and by
the time the flu passes, most of the hard times would be behind me, so may
be it was an omen. I was just making a joke, since quitting was never on my
mind, but David, unbeknownst to me, have taken it seriously. He had begun
to reinforce what he considered positive adjustments with some psychology,
which he deems himself to be a master of, but not this time. He picked up on
his wish and my joke and run with it, with the intent of my benefit of course,
but without really probing how I felt or the circumstance present. He became
relentless in this quest of smoke free me, encouraging and challenging me,
endlessly teasing me about proving how good a man I really am or am I mice
or man all together. He dared me and challenged me to prove it here and
now, all the while puffing on a cigarette himself right into the phone.
Suddenly, I felt backed into a corner without a course of actions, but his.
Backing away from a dare usually is not among my options, especially where
David is concerned. A wave of cold anger came from seemingly nowhere
and overwhelmed me. I felt, he was abusing the privileges I have given him;
that there was nothing I wont do if he asked. Now he was asking for
something not freely given, not even offered, forget desired by me. In
addition, he was asking for something he was not willing to offer himself,
since he foresaw no alterations needed to his habit, only mine. In other
words, he was determined to institute some changes in my life, however
beneficial, without a consideration for my views, preferences or feelings and
certainly through some lesser means. It suddenly became apparent, that from
the very beginning of this venture, much, if not everything, was predicated
upon me complying with his rules and regulations implicitly and changing
my convictions, my life and myself to accommodate that. I begun to feel, I
was only accepted as long as I kept changing as per his wishes, needs and
views and to measure up to the continuously growing standards he found
appropriate. The big questions were again: how far was I willing to go with
this and will he ever stop demanding, coercing, if not blackmailing me into
submission? Was I alone ever really accepted, or even personally loved, or
were my special talents essential to his aspirations to such degree, that he was
willing to make due with me the best he could; amending and molding me to
be tolerable to him for the sake of his ambitions or necessities? Once all
these thoughts have crystallized, I did not bagged them to never be heard
from again or run away from them in fear of losing -- for once, I faced them
straight on. In essence, I threw all our papers up into the air, went to my
room and closed the door tight. Five hundred miles between us precluded the
actual manifestation of this event, but basically, I did what I professed and
promised to never do: deliberately step out of the union, close the door
behind me without looking back and felt no regret. I guess, I have forgotten
one of my beliefs, that one should never say never, because by doing so, you
ask God for a challenge. This was my such challenge, which I of course
refused to see at the time, nor did I care any longer. I felt abused, taken
advantage of and bullied into submission yet again; but I was totally smoke
free and missing it immensely: not so much the effects of nicotine, but the
sequence of events that take place while lighting up. That ½ minute it takes
to pick up a cigarette and light it up, I have for a long time associated with a
little break to clear my mind, acquire perspective; a reason to pause whatever
I was doing, to reassess, something to do with my hands in a tense situation --
that is what I missed, especially since the unpleasantness at present was
abundant. I announced to David that I was angry. He misjudged the
parameters again and calmly suggested a course of actions to transcend it,
which I flatly refused. He was surprised; I never before flatly refused his
direct instructions without a discussion. I told him, that he will accept me as
I am, with all my imperfections, as I do him, or else I no longer will
participate in any ongoing projects. I asked him: how much of his devotion
was predicated upon me constantly adjusting and altering myself as per his
directions; how much were the need and appeal of my talents and direct,
special access they provided; and how much, if any, was actually me? I felt, it
was about time to clarify this issue, and I am following no more advice or
instructions until we do that. It seemed, David was slightly shocked and
disillusioned by my undiplomatic approach, but he regained composure
immediately. He realized, he would not be listened to at this time and it is
not in his nature to impose himself on others, so he said he shall comply with
my apparent and unexpected aversion for his aid and company at this time;
and insisted I talk to the Master about all that recently took place to get His
response and advice. I had no problem with that or with making my
dissatisfaction known. When I arrived, it was night in the desert and the light
of the stars, as well as all space around me, seemed to fluctuate slightly. I
chose to disregard it; a severe fatigue came over me after my conversation
with David.

Messenger: What’s going on?

Master: We will discuss that later. You took your time.
Messenger: I did not want to come. I am so very tired.
Master: You are so very tired! You should be. A thirty year habit --
without any aid, while you were sick and weak already. I thought you had
intelligence; apparently, you don’t.
Messenger: I thought you should be happy. You always disapproved the
dirty habit.
Master: I should be pleased? How is your heart? How is your state of
mind? How is your state of being?
Messenger: Weird, weird and very weird.
Master: Does space around you still bends?
 Messenger: That is a great way of describing it. It does a lot.
Master: Have you experienced it before?
Messenger: Somewhat: when drugged without my knowledge, I felt
somewhat like this, but not as bad; when lost in creation, it was somewhat
like this, but this is much more physical -- as if I am extremely focused on
something to the exclusion of everything else, except there is nothing I am
focused on at all. It feels like space around me distorts itself, and when
distortion touches my body, I feel it and it makes my muscles twitch
involuntarily. Then, I was very, very angry.
Master: Are you angry now?
Messenger: Just tired.
Master: Of what?
Messenger: Of everything, including you. Not you personally, just this
arrangement we have. I wonder, how large a part your contact with me adds
to my appeal. I bet you anything: no private talks with you -- no Union of
Three. I have refused to continue the process of altering myself -- look at the
results. We are back to square one; and this time, I am not fighting to prove
myself anymore. There is nothing left. I am so very tired.
Master: What happened to your anger?
Messenger: It is also tired.
Master: Why did you quit as you have done it? What was the reason and
the cause?
Messenger: I stopped just for a day or two, because my chest was tight,
but even then, I did not want to. He said, it was so great, that I now have an
opportunity to end it so easily and painlessly. He dared me. He called me
names. I was to show who was the better man. He called me chicken. He
dared me to prove was I mice or man; all the while puffing himself. He never
asked how I felt about it or if I wanted to do it; he knew, I did not. He
suckered me. He made me very, very angry.
Master: Why?
Messenger: One should not ask what is not freely given. One should not
take advantage of one’s influence over the other for any reason at all. One
should not ask for what one is not ready to offer himself. It is not right and it
is not fair. It made me think of all I have given up and changed to prove
myself and to please and pacify him. I did it voluntarily, I wanted to. I did
not want this. He called me a junkie, in somewhat kinder words; all of that
also while puffing. I told him, I don’t even recognize myself -- there is
nothing left of me unchanged, unaltered. I told him, that the process is now
over: there is nothing left to give. I was so angry. I felt, my good was
ultimately decided upon and I was suckered into execution of it, without a
road of retreat. I felt, my options were taken away without my consent and
irreversibly, because even if he takes back his dare, am I still mice or man?
To tell the truth, I have no craving for a cigarette and never have. I feel
manipulated, deprived of options, suckered. That made me angry; then it
made me tired. I find this resolution ultimately despicable and I shall not be
fighting to remove it or amend it. I do not care how understood I am. I said
some rather rotten things. I told him, that I shall observe and wait, and when
I find something that he is truly fond of and does not ever wants to give up,
that is what I shall ask for. He laughed, that he shall never give me up, but he
just did. He teaches and he waits. Isn’t he lucky, he made no alterations to
his life, so he can wait in comfort yet again? I think so.
Master: Have you considered, that many chemicals you did not even
know were present, are now wreaking chaos in your brain, as they are
departing and dissolving?
Messenger: Of course I have.
Master: I will not suggest, that you sought some chemical aid and
tapered out slowly -- that would not be in tune with your personality; but why
would you take yourself seriously in the time like this? Why would anyone?
And while on the subject, if ever you decide to quit all sugars, you may not
attempt to do it as recklessly as you attempted this; it may be lethal. Now
hear this: what you have done was reckless, stupid and poorly thought out, if
at all. I am amazed at lack of judgment you both exhibited. You have
exploded whatever peace you had, whatever balance, as surely as you lit up a
match; and I am suppose to be pleased about it? Hardly. As much as you
depended on the poison for comfort and stability, it was integral part of you,
part of your balance, part of your being, reflected everywhere you were and
loved by you and cherished by you. It was accepted and reflected as part of
you on every plane. All of a sudden, a large piece of the puzzle have been
violently and suddenly removed; while, I may add, the whole was already
weakened by disease. You suddenly blew a hole through the nature of your
being. How stupid, how irrational, how dangerous.
Messenger: Did you not want me to quit?
Master: Of course; but by conscious choice, by slow, deliberate
withdrawal; prepared mentally and physically and ready to deal with the
consequences. Intelligently, not violently and stupidly.
Messenger: You know, I do not do anything half way and this is done. I
am no mice and no junkie. I shall prove myself for at least six months.
Master: Spare me. It may take you that long to pick up the pieces and
put them back together. The damage you have caused is outrageous. You
don’t expect any help, do you?
Messenger: Not at all.
Master: Talk to Ariel. He is quite angry also, it seems to me, but don’t
expect him to admit it. You are aware of the effects all of this has on the
oneness?
Messenger: Quite. I have withdrew.
Master --Why?
Messenger: Because I was angry.
Master: You are not angry now.
Messenger: I am also not welcomed.
Master: Nor are you in a rush to join.
Messenger: No, I am not.
Master: Why not?
Messenger: It is quite obvious, that I am not welcome as I am, only if I
keep altering myself to please the rest of them: keep changing, keep
conforming to what is expected of me. Another dare was already put in front
of me to alter my body. I did not take it. It is so painfully obvious, that with
all the choir of confirmations, I am only good enough when I am changing
and constantly proving myself, and knowing you don’t hurt. It seems like
everyone is learned to absolute perfection how to play me and have no
reservations in doing just so. I am so very tired. I want some unqualified
acceptance for a change, even though I know it is not forthcoming. I am so
tired. Now, shall we change the conversation? Explain the weather, please.
Master: There is nothing wrong with the weather -- it is you. Your
frequency is fluctuating so wildly, it is perceived by you as quite the
opposite, as if the space is fluctuating around you; but it is you who are
unable to harmonize or even balance your energies. You are like an anomaly
-- everywhere and nowhere long enough to focus or to register. I would
suggest you go see the angels. Since you are too proud or too spooked to
light one or two a day to breach that hole in the center of your being, maybe
their love and understanding will help you breach the gap.
Messenger: What about your love?
 Master: Haven’t the weather improved?
Messenger: Somewhat.
Master: You need to harmonize. See yourself as whole. Don’t try to fill
the gap with sugar, or other foods, or needless presents. The neurons of your
brain do not need some further stimulation, they are already firing at random
and at will. Why do you think you feel so tired, or so deprived, even though
you do not crave? Your brain is working overtime. Your brain have been a
random firework of dying chemicals and you were not at all prepared or
willing to deal with it. Something you liked you no longer like and that have
made you angry. Try to rejoin the oneness for a while, it may just help you
heal. The man in him is just as foolish and as fallible as the woman in you;
the god in him is you. Angry or not, you are each others destiny. You both
are very, very stubborn and this time, for some reason, no one is giving in.
Too bad... He threatens you and you just say “whatever”; we all know what
that means. Right now, to pacify and mediate, I shall do something I shall
never do again -- I shall pass judgment. Yes, he was wrong to manipulate
you into submission and he was wrong to call you names, but boy, oh boy,
have you ever overreacted: your righteous indignation have turned to silent
rage. Granted, you have been chemically altered without consent or
preparation, but even then you acted like a spiteful child.
Messenger: And so did he.
Master: And so did he. And now, children, would you kindly choose to
grow up and out of the sand box; exhibit some maturity and understanding.
Let’s all aspire to correct the damage as soon as possible; and now you must
rest. You cannot endure the wild fluctuations any longer without rest. I tried
to mitigate, but it is still too hard for you to focus on the conversation, while
counteracting the fireworks that is your ailing brain. This plane does tend to
amplify it. If you feel better later, come see the angels. Go.
I was too tired to go through another talk with David after all this. He did
not call me back, I did not call him either. However, what was said started
me thinking about the clarity of my decisions, if not their validity, and
certainly about my approach to problem solving, which usually left no room
for discussion. This time was no exception, and coupled with David’s
continuous willingness to withdraw from anyplace he was not welcome or
appreciated, it left us somewhat at an impasse. I understood David’s general
position and even shared it, but my willingness to withdraw was not
predicated on other’s undesire to abide by my decisions, share my views and
implement without fail my suggestions, as his largely was. I needed some
quiet, retrospective time and it seemed, so did David. We finally agreed on
something -- that was good.
 Angelic Support After Attack & Our
Oversights
Next day, I felt guilty, not about David, but about Ariel. He never tried to
sucker me, blackmail me or threaten me into submission and it was his quest
I was ultimately sabotaging, not David’s. David had to be convinced
continuously that the quest and I were worth his efforts; his cooperation had
to be won by compliance with his ways of doing things; his ideas explored;
his needs obeyed and followed through. I did all that, willingly, I may add,
but no longer. I did not want to compromise, change and alter anymore, not
unilaterally. I sacrificed; I proved constantly; I adjusted; I broke my every
unbreakable rule; David advised, observed implementation and criticized,
followed by the next set of instructions. Never did he allow any of our
endeavors to alter his lifestyle, affect his comfort or jeopardize his
arrangements or their security in any way and he made darn sure I did
nothing of a kind as well. As far as I was concerned, this ride was over,
never to repeat itself: either there will be more equal distribution of
adjustments, changes and sacrifices, or regretfully, this attempt had failed, as
many before it have. Regardless of my newly found convictions, I did not
wish to hurt the angel, disrespect his efforts on behalf of all of us and I did
not want him angry at me for what I was doing. We needed to discuss all
this, so up I went to seek the angels. It appeared, both of them were waiting
for me.

Messenger: You know I cannot stay too long, so tell me how ticked off at
me you are.
Ariel: We are not ticked off at you at all. Now is a really bad time for
you to be so out of balance. You must regain it as soon as possible.
Messenger: Any bright ideas on how to? I am barely here as it is.
Ariel: We would suggest you sleep with us, but we don’t think you can.
Messenger: I can’t.
Ariel: Then stay as long as you can without hurting yourself.
Messenger: The light is rather blinding.
Ariel: I tried to warn you, but as always, you misinterpreted. I shall
repeat: this is a bad time for you to be not well, and you are extremely not
well.
Messenger: Why did a little chemical imbalance cause such a turmoil?
Ariel: A cherished habit of ¾ of your life, removed at whim, is not a little
chemical imbalance. Now you have proved your strength, your pride and
your stupidity. You are not mice, you’re man: a very stupid, very gullible
man. Look what you did to all of us.
Messenger: What did I do?
Ariel: You have stepped out of the oneness.
Messenger: You bet I did.
Ariel: You have not even missed us, have you?
Messenger: I missed you plenty. You are the only one I never was
unsure of, with the small exception of your strange behavior at our last
encounter. To you, I know, I am good enough no matter what. What gave
that last time?
Ariel: I have already knew your anger, as you knew mine.
Messenger: I see. Were my lungs in eminent danger?
Ariel: Eventually, if left untreated, definitely, unquestionably so.
Immediately -- hardly. Some minor inconveniences at present, with the
potential of far reaching consequences, if left unchecked. Some moderation,
temperance and common sense would have sufficed; but he had panicked and
you have overreacted, and the results are devastating at the most inopportune
time for you. How upset are you still?
Messenger: I am just tired. I do not want to change myself anymore. I
do not want to fight to prove myself. If the “as is” not good enough, it is too
bad. You just don’t know how tired I am. No matter how hard I try,
apparently, it’s never good enough. There is always something left for me to
change, or to give up; and lately, I am not even asked about it, just told. If I
am so good enough, stop finding flaws and stop challenging me into further
changes. First, I want some proof that I am good enough as is: no books of
wisdom, no you or Master, just me, imperfect as I am. Just me, and then we
shall see. Do you have any idea how I feel?
Ariel: As you say -- intimately. You feel bent out of shape quite
literally. The more you focus, more bent you feel. This conversation is
taxing you severely. How close am I?
Messenger: On the money. How come something so supposedly
beneficial does to me what it does to me?
 Ariel: The Master outlined it. You were weakened, unprepared,
unwilling and somewhat scared into submission by the state of your health
and somewhat manipulated by him and by his efforts to make you better. For
someone who foresees the situations as they are, he surely exhibited some
blindness. It is astonishing to me, how ridiculous he handled this affair. He
played your pride against your fears, as if he waved that cape in front of weak
and nearsighted bull; and you have charged, of course. Who wouldn't? The
lecture on the evils of addiction, given into the midst of reigning chemical
confusion, was his unchallenged masterpiece. If anything was left of your
already challenged reason, it was swept away, and only rage remained. It is a
known fact to all of us, that you are prone to chemical imbalances, it is in part
what makes you -- you. Now, sick and weakened by the pains and fear, you
two deliberately create the biggest chemical imbalance of your life and do
nothing to mitigate its consequences. I am amazed, how well you handled
this, under the circumstances. I understand how you may feel your trust
abused -- it was; and once again you were threatened, when I specifically
advised against it; but no matter. What’s done is done. I see, you have some
choices and decisions, but take your time, you shall be better soon. Your
signature have improved already, being between the two of us. Come back
tomorrow. You absolutely need some honest help in balancing and
harmonizing, and time is short and quite inopportune: so much is now at
stake, if not in danger. A very bad, inopportune time for you to get upset and
choose to look away, but I am not at all surprised at this very timing. I was
expecting it, to say the least. I thought he was expecting it also, but he
misunderstood and misinterpreted. A pity, but no blame is placed, do
understand. A tragic oversight, I tried to warn you both to no avail.
Messenger: It’s nice to know that even you expect me to mess up. He
always does, I’m used to it, but your confidence in my inevitable mess ups is
disenchanting. But then, boys, if you all expected me to do it, who am I to
disappoint?
Ariel: You misunderstood again. No one expected you to mess up
anything. You were told so many times before: if the attack is launched, you
shall be the target and anyone at all, no matter how well intentioned, may and
will be used. As you can see, assault was quite successful -- division in the
ranks; exhibited weakness; deliberate withdrawal; blackmail; threats;
desertion; rage and general mistrust; and now -- total lack of
communications. You both are just so gullible and blind. You have a faint
excuse: your talents lay elsewhere and lack of poisons led your brain astray
and tortured your body. I wonder, what is his excuse? I do not see one, nor
am I looking; but do not worry, dear, remember what I said to you before: my
loyalty is yours and undivided, no matter what the body does. It has been
now tested. Are you satisfied?
Messenger: I wish it was not tested.
Ariel: We all do that at times. Now, for the future, I shall repeat what
Master said again: you shall not ever radically alter your body’s chemical
makeup without careful preparation, consideration and mitigation. No spur
of the moment stupid gestures, however well intentioned they may be. You
do require patience, moderation and careful execution of all the major
alterations to your makeup you may consider in the future. Is it understood
and appreciated and remembered? I hope so. The strength of your will is not
in question, it is the wisdom of your decisions that is at all times low. Are
you now willing to rejoin us?
Messenger: Don’t be ridiculous. My heart had never left you. My mind
had run amok and so were my emotions, but now I am just tired. I shall
attempt to do nothing to alter present situation or to prove myself. Whatever
barriers are in place -- they shall remain, until one who put them there
removes them or not. I am all fought out and I do not desire overcoming
anymore. For the time being, I just threw away the towel -- no more fighting;
changing; proving. I am too tired, boys and girls, and I can hardly recognize
myself already. I must reflect.
Ariel: You need some rest now, you’re no longer clear. I hope sincerely
the depths of this situation are escaping you right now. It is quite obvious,
they are escaping him, which I was hoping should not happen; but no matter.
We are strong and we shall handle it up here. But do reflect on this one: he
wants his loving angel back; he feels deprived of you. Amazingly enough,
you feel deprived of you also. You feel your loving self betrayed, abused and
used and so does he. How stupid can you both be? Reflect on that. There is
a conspicuous synchronicity to your grievances, concerns and lacking. I
wonder why. Do you? And now you well surpassed your limits of
endurance, you must depart. We shall remain with you and help you balance
the best we can. Good night.

I talked to David and read him the last two discourses. After some
reflection, contemplation and assessment of what have transpired, amazingly
enough, he had adjusted his approach towards me. For a while, he had
become supportive, unassuming and accepting. He came to visit me for the
first time and for a few days we simply had some fun without much work.
He bought me a cigar to celebrate my accomplishment. He made an effort to
show me that I mattered, not just spoke about it. In our talks, David pointed
out, that even though I was making all the changes in myself and in my life,
enduring most of the inconveniences and hardships to keep our quest and
personal relationship alive and functioning, there wasn’t much for me to lose
in the process and no one in my life may be hurt by my sudden changes in
attitude and lifestyle; while he had to thread lightly, be cautious, careful and
balance everything just so to minimize the potential damage and pain
inflicted. It really wasn’t an excuse, but a fair explanation. Up to now, it
seemed I had always much to prove as to my abilities; dedication and purity
of intent and David had none; but now, faced with the demand of proving a
few things himself, he rose to the occasion, as unaccustomed as he was to
doing so, and I was grateful. It seemed, my doubts of his loyalty and
priorities were mostly born during the holidays, which we have spent apart,
and were never dispelled. His choices at the time, however logical and
reasonable to him, seemed cold, calculating and highly impersonal to me, to
say the least and I never got over it. Being perturbed by my actions at the
time, David never paid attention to that, since we were both focused on
amending the damage caused by actions, not on the problems,
misconceptions and mistakes that forged the actions to unfold as they did in
the first place. I’d say, that up to that visit and our idle time together, I never
felt secure in his devotion to me; not to our quest; duty; work and me as a
side effect of that; he never felt the need to reinforce it. It is insulting after
all, if nothing else, to be held in doubt for no apparent reason, but lack of
exhibitionism. I understood, how much internal adjusting he had to make as
to embrace me and our quest; how much his perceptions and understanding
had to shift. It was as much as mine, if only in a different way, but in my
insecurity and blindness, I missed it all together.

The events described are embarrassing to me. I am not used to being

insecure and uncertain of myself, nor am I used to being angry. When faced
with the overwhelming adversities, I usually felt sad, depressed or may be
defiant, not angry. David apparently is a second person in my life to evoke
anger in me and temper tantrums; I really don’t know why, but it is obvious, I
need to find out. Unfortunately for me, I have not got infinite amount of lives
to get it right through trial and error. I need to get it right this time: too much
is at stake; too many promises, aid and blessings went our way for us to
screw up now, despite collective efforts of Divinity and our own.
 Parameters of Intent & Pushing against
Attacks
As if to make up for my relative disregard of it, mundane caught up with
me with a vengeance. There were some administrative changes at work that
left us short handed, and under these conditions, management was not as
receptive to my specific scheduling needs as they were before. Everyone
was overworked, stressed and generally unhappy; dealing with a lot of extra
hours and dissatisfied co-workers was difficult and time consuming. Besides
for that, a couple rather bizarre incidences occurred, which made me
understand intimately, that I must be on guard at all times; I do not enjoy that
at all. In order to secure my next visit with David I had to put up with much
foolishness and stress, so much so, I have not seen the higher astral planes in
several weeks, which rarely happened before. When I finally had enough
time and energy to make a contact, to my surprise, everyone were there: the
Master, Gabriel, Ariel, Drizella and even the guard were standing in the sand
and, I suppose, waiting for me. There was a pink haze around the desert, as if
I had rose colored glasses on. I greeted everyone, but there was no reply.

Messenger: Why isn’t anyone talking?

Master: Why isn’t anyone listening?
Messenger: I am listening.

All of a sudden, everyone formed a circle and it moved in an instant a

considerable distance from me.
Messenger: How can I hear, when I am so far away?

After that, I have been allowed to join the circle, where everyone still stood
silently, except the Master.

Master: How can you? You cannot, nor have you been. Mundane have
swallowed you again and keeps you captive. Your energy can no longer
successfully be drawn without open detriment to the other party; so they
make you squander it or burn it up pursuing their problems or overcoming
their hostilities. You are surrounded by hostility, or have you not noticed it?
Messenger: I’ve noticed it. I’m managing the best I can.
Master: This is what happens when you overstay your welcome. When
you fail to move on and overstay your circumstance, hostility begins to build,
evoked by envy, or jealousy, or lack of trust, or lack of wisdom -- it is
irrelevant what brings it on. It circles you like fog and dampness and absorbs
your actions, pollutes and dissipates your energy, just simply waste it.
Messenger: I am aware, I overstayed my welcome, but as of now, I saw
no openings, nor were we able to manifest any. It seems to me, my energy is
still somewhat in flux.
Master: It is quite so. All those who surround you in the mundane, have
done their job so very well and those who control them are also pleased with
their progress. You have been shackled, bound and gagged for quite some
time.
Messenger: It is obvious, I need your help. I am trying to learn how to
follow the flow and not to push, as I have always done, and as you can see, it
is not happening.
Master: There is pushing and there is pushing. Determination, will and
need are always tested. “How bad you want it?”, I believe, you called what I
described. An answer to that question is not pushing, it is a proof of one’s
intent. Unless you are in a cave and undisturbed, or in a cave and have no
need of interaction with mundane and no need to manifest, some so called
pushing is required. One must not force what is against the flow, but one’s
intent needs reinforcement to stay intense and one’s focus must be sharp; and
just the navigation of karmic currents may be perceived as pushing,
especially when deliberately obstructed by the negativity of others. Your
better self has always known when you are at odds with the Divine or with
mundane. All obstacles of spiteful, hateful nature; all delays caused by
clinging; sucking; selfishness and greed of others or of you; all temptations;
all taps of bondage and attempts at such; all pulling of your strings by your
conniving loved ones and their never-ending neediness of you and yours,
however well concealed by seeming progress. In other words, all spiteful
acts of men shall be considered tests and must be pushed through again and
always. All inner promptings to ease off; all acts of God or nature; all subtle
signs that counteract your acts or are contrary to your efforts, should be
obeyed and listened to, and strive to comprehend and to adjust your efforts in
the direction that they point. You both have missed this point, as I am seeing
by your actions and inaction's, though not entirely, but some. It is quite
difficult and it requires practice and great attention and attunement; but
otherwise, you’re doing rather well and your progress is superb, despite your
fluctuating energies and his somewhat fluctuating guidance and wisdom.
You understand, I see that at this time, you both are under a direct attack and
absolutely every one who comes in contact with either one of you, however
fleeting, is only there to obstruct and to negate and to slow down. You see it
and you understand; you deal with it not so great, but adequate. Don’t
misinterpret their compliance or obedience -- it is still selfish in nature, not
Divine. Their goal is sole: possession of what they perceive as rightfully
theirs -- your time, your efforts, your aid, your precious touch. They had it
for so long and governed it to their selfish satisfaction, and no effort is too
great to them to keep what they perceive as theirs. Do not be fooled by what
you perceive as progress or achievement. Look further, dig deeper, and all
you’ll see is selfishness itself, or in some cases even malice, if not in deed, in
seed. Please, be aware of what I said; do not be fooled; do not lose sight; do
not be gullible again; or giving to the fault, or foolish. The game is subtle
and covert and still successful: your energies are missed by many on many
levels and on all the planes; and anger is evoked; hostility, and envy, and
jealousy. Some had already manifested, some have not, but be assured: it
shall be tried again and always. Even when free of them completely in
mundane, their tentacles are still attempting to reach you on astral and above.
Your generosity have been accustomed to and taken for granted, and any
interruption in such is held against you and acted upon immediately and
ruthlessly. However benign and loving you perceive the vessel, as long as
selfishness is god -- expect the worst. So, don’t try to alter your basic nature:
some pushing is essential to progress in the mundane; just see the lines
defined and follow inner guidance. Be aware: what is of ego; what is of
others, willing to obstruct; and what is of subtle patterns of the Divine, and
natural, and beneficial. You’re doing not too bad, but some improvements
are to follow this discourse. And by the way, if you are still in little need of
artificial help or stimulants, as long as moderation is practiced, do not feel
embarrassed: one thing at a time. Compounding one’s own stress to prove a
silly point is so ridiculous, so detrimental. Keep your cigars for the time, it’s
not so bad. As for hostility that is around you, do not expect it to subside.
The more you rise above it, the more it bubbles. Don’t wait for them to find
your cross -- it is an inescapable conclusion -- they always do; they always
will. Create your opening and exit as soon as possible, the detriment begun
to outweigh -- it is self evident.
Messenger: I totally agree. I just don’t know how to create an opening.
A perfect opening usually creates itself: all falls into place effortlessly.
Master: What you just described called karma, or “what is earned is
given”. Do not expect it anymore. You are the master of your circumstance,
behave as such: take chances and create a certainty; alter the odds, if so need
be. Right action does not wait for rain to stop. It follows through in any
weather and sunshine has to follow it at last, because it’s only right. You see
my point. Right action is unstoppable by circumstance or lack of such; it’s in
itself creative, and manifesting despite adversities because it’s right; and light
shall always shine upon its completion, if not its progress. Don’t you
remember that?
Messenger: Thank you, that was a good reminder.
Master: Go now. Take charge, take chances, take responsibilities, and
take out all non essential that always pulls on you -- just rise above it further.
Messenger: Sounds good to me. Its nice to see you again, sorry for the
interruption.
Master: Things happen, things progress, things stray away sometimes,
but in the end, we know your heart, so we don’t worry. Go and reflect. I’ll
see you soon again and all those questions shall be answered.

David felt vindicated, since he was telling me pretty much the same things
for some while now, but I did not see how I can alter anything and still keep
my job. Sometimes I think everyone forgets that I need to support a home for
my son and myself and I am not afforded the luxury of not putting up with
whatever that entails. I’d like nothing better than to take charge and take
chances, but I did not think David would appreciate either one of those
notions. I really did not see what I can realistically do to alter anything,
except quit my job and move, but after all these months of talk and
preparation, it was apparent, neither one of us was prepared for that, and
judging by the lack of any perceivable changes in the flow, it included,
seemingly, the divine. Yes, I also give some very good advice when I am on
the outside looking in; when on the inside looking out, it is not as easily done
as it is spoken of; so I took the advice in stride and maintained the necessary
efforts to sustain what was until some better day, which is exactly what
David was doing and no one was criticizing him for doing it. Sometimes I
just can’t win and I accept it.
 Malignant Objects & Strings of Loyalty
After many weeks of paying for my few days off during the holidays, I
was finally able to get away to see David again. It was late by the time we
arrived in his house and I was tired, body and mind. When we went to bed, I
noticed a strange looking pillow laying aside and asked David if it was
anyone’s or if I may use it, thinking it might have been Lakieya’s, in which
case I’d rather not. David said plainly that it have been used before, but not
in a while and handed it to me without further explanations. I figured, it must
have been his, thanked him and we fell asleep. I woke up early in the
morning from severe pain, the likes of which I have not experienced in many
years, except this had nothing to do with my previous injuries. The left side
of my neck and my left shoulder felt as if every nerve have been pulled tight
and set on fire. The pain followed every motion of my left arm and hand,
even moving my fingers hurt a lot. I could not turn my head or even inhale
deeply. I could not understand what it was, what I did wrong, if anything,
because I never experienced anything like it in the past. I figured, it should
go away soon, because maybe I slept funny and pulled a muscle, or
something equally benign. However, hours passed and there was not a
slightest improvement. David woke up and pretending the best I could to be
as well as I could manage, I asked him for a pain pill. I usually carry them,
but packing in a hurry, I forgot. David, true to form, was asking many
questions, investigating the strength of my prescription vs. the strength of the
prescription he had, exactly what was bothering me, how severe it was, and
so on. Keeping the straightest possible face, I answered all his questions and
eventually got a pill, which in its appointed time did absolutely nothing,
being about half of what I was used to taking in cases of emergency, but
David was very cautious and he did not understand the seriousness of my
predicament, nor did I wished to enlighten him further. I noted where he kept
the pills, and after he left the room, took two more. In their appointed time
they also accomplished nothing, so I took a couple of Advil’s on top of that
to no results. That was beginning to scare me. I saw no reasons for the pain,
did not know what it was or what was causing it and at this point, had to
explain to David exactly how bad things were. He gave me a huge heating
pad with the massaging motion built in and I spent a day on the couch,
motionless, taking more pills. Next day, everything remained as it was,
except I got used to the pain somewhat, but we still were at a loss for a cause
or a reason of this predicament. I had a suspicion, but did not wish to share
it, I supposed David had a similar one and also did not choose to discuss it.
Eventually, he suggested I try my best to seek advice from higher sources and
I agreed. When I went to the desert, the angel was waiting. He also did not
look pleased.

Ariel: How is the pain?

Messenger: Progressing nicely, thank you.
Ariel: Before you touch an object, consider its origins; intent behind its
making; intent behind its use; how was it actually used and by whom, and so
forth. It does not have to be so intricate: just simply scan its energies, as you
do with people, and if a suspect -- do not touch.
Messenger: I thought of that.
Ariel: After the fact, of course.
Messenger: Of course. Explain to me what’s going on from where you
are, how it translates down to us. Look at me: I am a walking distraction, a
drag. I am not contributing to our cause or progress. I am beginning to feel
like a detriment.
Ariel: Unquestionably, entrance was gained that split your loyalty and it
is being used extensively by everyone who ever wished you ill, or gone, or
worse.
Messenger: What do you mean?
Ariel: Examine: once you dispense your loyalty to someone, you seem to
be unable to withdraw. Regardless of their countless actions; regardless of
the facts of their great and constant detriment to you; and even if some
distance needs to be created in order for you to just survive, and even if initial
response had been obtained by tricks or treachery, your loyalty remains at
their disposal. Even when you see them for the detriment they are, you
cannot help yourself, and part of you still holds protection over their
miserable choices and miserable lives. Until quite recently, they were
content with passive benefits, but no longer. At this time, all of the passive
beneficiaries of your misguided caring, are pulling their strings at once; and,
dear girl, not all of them are as benign as others and all of them perceived a
threat of losing your active loving, if not your passive love. In your terms,
consider it conspiratory, if you wish -- it is.
Messenger: What does any of it has to do with my loyalties? My
loyalties are yours and mine and God’s; that have not changed.
Ariel: However, on whose behalf are you continuously acting? Who
commands your time and energies and efforts? Not us, not you, not even
God. Your charges pull you in all different directions and occupy your
consciousness as well as they can do. So, even if in essence your loyalty is
mine and undivided, your efforts are quite theirs and quite split; and it is
hurting you in much more ways than one in essence and in spirit, and in
body. At this very moment, the union is frozen in its progress or lack of
such, and all of them are thrilled: those who planned, who instigated and who
oversee; for all of them are benefiting by your presence through your never-
ending loyalty to each and every one of them. Meanwhile, is anyone of them
concerned even the very least with your needs or your well being? Do they
even care, that in their efforts to sustain, they may be damaging the very hand
that feeds them? Not any one of them; not now; and not ever, not even for a
fleeting moment. You do agree, that for some of them you are the only
connection to the light they ever knew and it required no honest effort to
sustain. You are so gullible, as you already know.
Messenger: What can I do to stop it?
Ariel: Contain yourself completely and entirely. No one is to see, or
touch, or even guess the essence of your loving heart. I never thought of
saying it like so, but dear, do acquire a degree of selfishness required to
survive. Begin to empathize with our efforts, not theirs, do not assume we’ll
always be all right. We need you, they desire you. Stop being frivolous;
contain yourself and seal your energies; for even those who had been cut off
or nearly cut off by him, are now gaining access through you. You do not
owe them anything at all; not now, not in some length of time. Your love and
mercy are abused and strained and pulled; your force is drawn in all
directions, while your attentions are given to your loyalties of past.
Remember us: we are your only family; your life; your sustenance; your
love. The rest are parasites; ungrateful; unrelenting and selfish to the core.
You are not healing them, or helping, or leading; you are allowing yourself to
be abused and all of us will suffer in the process.
Messenger: I’ve got the message. Nothing new, but may be the extent of
the problem.
Ariel: Quite so. All yours, and his, and mine, and ours have joined their
forces to impede at this time and they are quite successful. Do change it, if
you will. Once this is settled, the change is eminent. This is their last
attempt at keeping you for their needs and use. Resist it: their selfishness
border on malice and cruelty and it is of utmost disregard.
Messenger: I know that.
Ariel: Now a message to my better self: remember your human roots and
stored knowledge of your past. Apply it to the present situation. Perceive
your pains as an attack -- not to assert, but to prevent. Transference, if you
wish, is taking place. I wonder if he saw it.
Messenger: You lost me now; but I do wish you would not play up his
already highly suspicious nature. Things are quite self evident, and trust me,
no magic is involved of any color or kind -- just human weaknesses at play
and my gullibility. That is quite clear.
Ariel: Your distaste for what you perceive as lesser does not protect you
from its effects, especially when the intent is strong and selfishness is even
stronger. You do believe in energy of thought and deed, combined in effort,
to materialize whatever is desired. What is so difficult there to accept and
understand? The means are alien to you, the process isn’t. Accept it, it is so.
Protect yourself. What may I add? Reflect; adjust;, protect yourself; review
your loyalty and the extent of it; contain yourself and keep us close. We love
you and we are with you as always. Now, dear, go take care of your very
pressing needs and touch us as you need to stay intact.
Messenger: I love you, angel.
Ariel: As I you.

So then, David and I had to acknowledge the unwanted: the pillow I used
was bought by David for Lakieya at the time of her accident and used by her
while severe pain, fear and mental confusion dominated her life. We were
not sure what it was doing in David’s room next to his bed, but we were
pretty sure that the imprint of Lakieya’s suffering remained in the pillow and
was picked up by me, because the symptoms I manifested were identical to
hers, with the exclusion of mental confusion. David was upset that he did not
act on the feeling he had about it, I was also feeling stupid for not acting upon
my little warning. As it was, I trusted David knew what he was doing above
my instincts and he disregarded his instincts. Too bad for both of us. It was
a very painful lesson.
 Transference of Negativity & Selfishness
Few days had passed; my condition have not improved, but having plenty
of practice managing pain, I was able to exhibit improvement to make David
feel better. He was feeling guilty, I guess, for disregarding his usual paranoia
when for once it should have been acted upon. I attributed this incident to
my ridiculously acute sensitivity to other people’s suffering, especially
Lakieya, since desire to spare her any pain have been so dominant in the past
many months. It was apparent, I was too open and needed to learn to insulate
myself and not be so empathic. David, it seemed thought more about it then,
but I wasn’t asking and he wasn’t sharing. He insisted, that I speak to the
Master about it and I agreed. David was undoubtedly making more out of it
than it actually was and I was hoping the Master would validate my view and
thus curtail David’s superstitions at least to some degree. When I arrived into
my desert, the Master was extremely large, about the size of a very tall
building. He put down His hand and I stepped on it; He picked me up to His
face so we could talk. Be He normal size, I’d be about four inches tall in
comparison. I found this utmost unnerving.

Messenger: There is no need to impose, I realize your grandeur.

Master: You must be elevated above your present circumstance, it is
highly detrimental.
Messenger: I realize that too.
Master: I know you do. However, your actions are quite inadequate and
your defense is faulty. You only see a sector of the picture and feel a portion
of the full attack. Even your symptoms are not entirely acknowledged.
Messenger: What do you mean by that?
Master: Are you aware your stomach had been bleeding for some days?
Messenger: I had a touch of heartburn, not much. I usually don’t get
them at all.
Master: It wasn’t any heartburn, it was internal bleeding.
Messenger: But why? How can it be? My diet is excellent, all the pills I
take are natural and proven. Nothing new was added.
Master: Anything and everything can be used as trigger with the intent to
harm. For example, have any of you paid attention as to exactly where your
symptoms have manifested? Consider; if you did, more of the much needed,
much denied truth would be available to you.
Messenger: Left shoulder, left side of the neck mostly. Its right above
my heart. Is that it?
Master: That also, but not only. Consider further and reflect some more.
You have been told: transference is taking place. You did not get the
message. You have remembered mirrors, that is good, but it is only part of
the equation. You see the obvious and the unconcealed, the simple and the
manageable. True enemies within are yet to be discovered and no one is
looking in the right direction as of yet, not even close. Sophistication exists
where none is seen and the intent, concealed with grace, seems hostless, but it
isn’t. That’s all I am to say. How do you feel?
Messenger: I am quite well now, thank you.
Master: I wish to underline few simple points to you about the intent: it
does not have to be continuously fed. In skillful hands, it can be formed,
pinpointed and let go of to wreak chaos totally detached from its point of
origin or from its sender. Its master, by the time you’re hit, will be
surrounded in cloak of seeming goodness, and it is quite possible, that you
may turn for help or understanding to the very host of problems you are in.
Messenger: Not in this case, Master.
Master: No, not in this case. The point was made for better
understanding, that source of the intent may be so well concealed, that no
thought is given to it and no understanding, and therefore, your protection
from it is always limited. No matter how good you are, there will be
moments of subtle weakness, or simply rest or sleep, when arrow of intent
may penetrate and damage and leave no trace of origin or master. Some
entities are so skilled and so controlled, you watch them all the time and all
you see is goodness, and caring, and benevolence; but do relax and turn your
back for just a blink of time, that’s all they need -- for you to look away, and
the release is made of frightful magnitude of the hostilities so deeply kept and
hidden, that no one will perceive or suspect their existence.
Messenger: Do you imply my son?
Master: The boy possesses some quick wit and phony charm; by no
means does he possess sophistication needed to penetrate as deep as this one
did. Yes, his intent is selfish to the core; yes, whatever good he harbored
towards you is now dormant underneath the fear and the resentment that his
plans have been eroded. He is right now, as you would say, “ticked off” that
his desires are in disarray; that his intentions and his selfishness are seen for
what they are; that his never-ending lies, which served him well for long, are
no longer serving; but most of all, he is simply terrified at the perspective of
being totally removed from only source of light he ever knew, that he abused,
misused and trampled on, but in his depth have still respected. His karma is
in front of him and screaming to collect, his selfishness is pushing him
towards it. You have made some difference, my Love, there is still hope for
him, just as your heart is saying; but in any and each way it plays, by no
means does he possess the depth of sophistication, the strength of will and ill
of the intent as your attackers, and all his lies combined don’t measure up to
that existed cunning. Look further, dear, dig deeper. Stay intact, protect
yourself with all your might and mine and look around better. And even
though the boy is lacking the capability to really inflict, if not the selfish
willing, the opening created by your ties to him is used by others, who have
no opening themselves. You saw the picture: there are two more you’re yet
to see and to discover, and even though on astral they stayed tall in their
intent and their alliances, on the angelic and mundane they seem to crawl and
shoot you from beneath when you are not looking down.
Messenger: I find it difficult to comprehend, that there is someone, no,
two some ones somewhere who hate me so much, but are totally unknown to
me as such; who seemingly love me and seemingly wish me well and are
concealing hatred so well. How can I even begin to uncover someone like
this?
Master: The selfishness shall be your key and guide. Look for someone
who always took and only took, and always made you want to offer more,
because of goodness you are sure of; the need you sense that cries to you in
silence and makes you want to give without being asked. Look for someone
who never thanks you or never shows gratitude and never offers back even a
grain of recognition of your needs, because their needs are always greater.
Look for someone who makes you always talk and think of them, regardless
where the conversation started. Look for someone who never been a suspect
in your heart, someone you like and love and always have defended in any
questioning predicament.
Messenger: That describes everyone I know. I do not associate any
longer with anyone I know to be evil or toying with evil. Everyone I
associate with I know to be of goodness, however limited, but striving.
 Master: I did not say it shall be easy, but try. Your perceptions are
always so good; it is time you expanded them into perceiving truth about
others real nature. Stop being gullible and seeing soul where there is soulless
action after soulless action taking place, while you are looking into me and
seeing them. How loving; how dangerous; how foolish; it has to stop.
You’ve given them of you, of me, of us and of your health; but they are still
in hate, reflecting goodness, projecting love. My dear, that goodness they
reflect and love -- its yours and mine, not theirs. Most empty vessels echoes
if you scream, or rattle if you throw a stone; but some are so well concealed,
so bottomless, it swallows the sound of your voice and no rock had ever
reached the bottom. Do not assume them full. They are of real danger. Only
when you see an actual outpour of goodness or unselfishness, may you
assume at least partial fullness. I remind you -- true unselfishness, not
partial; not barter or exchange; or hope of some returns; or memories that can
and will be held for later. In other words, all and any deed that carries even a
potentiality of karma is always suspect, always a sign of emptiness and
selfishness. Only deeds that are unselfish to the core and carry no seeds of
karma in themselves may be accepted as proof of goodness.
Messenger: That hardly ever happens.
Master: More than you think, my dear, more than you think. And even
though it is understandable, that even the best may slip now and again and
show some degree of selfishness, or vanity, or ego; consistently their deeds
are clean, their speech is clean, their thoughts are even cleaner. Their intent
is always to do good to others, sometimes at the expense of self; while the
true intent of empty vessel is to fill itself at the expense of you. Begin to read
intent behind the deeds, and words, and thoughts; and everything will acquire
clarity. Examine carefully intent of seeming goodness you are so sure of.
How sure will you remain? They are so bold, that even now, as we speak,
there is attempts to breach you yet again. Not wise, not very wise at all. I
think, right now you shall go and stay in light. I have some pressing business
to attend to.

I shall not comment on the pressing business the Master attended to; even
though I had a flash or two; they are unsubstantiated. It seemed that all the
fingers were pointed at Lakieya, but neither one of us were willing to assign
her the sophistication or the cunning needed to perpetrate a vicious offense
like this; I certainly was not. I was convinced, the lady completely lacked
desire to deliberately hurt another being for any reason; David, who always
held this conviction firmly, was not as sure at this time. I have to say now,
that there are dimensions to this incident that we have not uncovered for a
whole year, and therefore, whatever conclusions we were able to arrive at,
were grossly incomplete, and therefore faulty. The Master was completely
right in saying, that the true culprits were yet to be discovered and we were
not looking in the right direction: that is exactly what was happening. Much
later, to our relief, we found out, that Lakieya personally and directly was not
a party to this and she really did lack the necessary malice, thankfully. At
least in some details our instincts were still on target, but it seems that we
were more concerned with exonerating Lakieya than with getting to the root
of the problem and solving it. It was a very costly approach, however loyal
and altruistic, and we were to find it out in due time.
 Selfishness & Malevolence Vs Benevolence
My entire visit with David was ruined by the still unexplained pain I
experienced, but miraculously, as soon as I came home, the condition
relieved itself as suddenly as it appeared. I attributed it to the familiar
comfort of my own bed vs. David’s Spartan accommodations and left it at
that. However, I must note, that even now, almost two years later, a mild
discomfort still persists in that area, even though I did not have another
outbreak of pain since. After all of my unpleasant and detrimental
experiences, it was still difficult for me to project myself into the higher
planes and impossible to influence them. I could not get to my beloved
desert and stay there for any length of time while sustaining conversation. I
think, divine grace and dispensations were largely responsible for whatever
limited abilities I had left, so I was grateful and quiet and careful in my
exploits. I was forced to come to terms, though not yet entirely, with the now
proven fact, that there were many beings, most of which I did not even know
or ever will, who actively seek to see me fail and remain in darkness, and will
attempt never-endingly to accomplish that with glee. For me that was a
painful revelation, to which I still sought mitigation in my heart, or at least a
reasonable explanation, but those sentiments I could not voice, in view of the
never ending chain of unprovoked malice that seemed to follow our every
step. Surrounded by all of that, I have arrived into the Universe to answer
Master's call. Once there, I could not tell if it was the Angel or the Master,
the image seemed to fluctuate, which I have attributed to my much deprived
perceptions. I greeted whomever it was as if it were the Master.

Messenger: Which one are you?

Master: Which one do you expect?
Messenger: I don't.
Master: We're both and none. We're all, remember?
Messenger: Yes Master. Have our inquiries into the present situation
been successful? Were our efforts to protect also successful?
Master: You did all right. You still delude yourself in the supposed
benevolence of others, but that is a reflection of your loyalties and of your
loving heart. You have to understand, benevolence is the unselfishness in
motion. Anyone who is considerably selfish is not benevolent at heart, if not
in deed. One must attain an overwhelming and overpowering degree of
unselfishness to be truly and totally benevolent. All selfishness requires self
protection; all selfishness requires total guard and the assurances of its
continuation. It is rather impossible to accomplish while benevolent.
Protecting selfishness and nurturing excessive clinging, which is its
inevitable side effect, is a continuous effort and in most instances, if not in all
instances, that means restriction of others and subjugation of others to fit and
suit one's selfish need. How can restriction of others be perceived as
benevolent? It cannot and should not. The question then remains only in the
degrees of the malevolence, not of its existence. How much of it is
suppressed by fear, or by guilt; how much of it is overcome by goodness;
how much is acted upon and how it is done? As I said earlier, intent behind
the deeds, and words, and thoughts must always be perceived, but source of
the intent must also be clearly understood. Once malevolence have been
established in seed; in thought; in word or in deed, one must always
remember its presence; try to establish the degree of it and always keep in
mind, that under some perceived adversity of circumstance, when one is
forced by one's perceptions to reach deep, most times it would not be love
and goodness that will be reached and acted upon in fear and in blindness.
Malevolence explodes inside some timid hearts in moments of perceived
complete despair or absolute irrationality of fear. Sometimes it is perceived as
self defense, when in effect it is selfishness offending; sometimes by hearts
that choose to harbor good, but still are selfish, explosions of malevolence are
masked, or blocked from memory, or denied recognition. It does not make it
less dangerous or lethal in intent, if not in deed. Repressed malevolence
explodes just like any other repressed and hidden feeling, when selfishness is
threatened. That how it is, admit or not admit it.
Messenger: Why are we discussing it, Master?
Master: Because you are still a prey of hidden and malevolent intent.
You are aware of that occurrence. I am just pointing out some facts and
inevitabilities that may elude you. Until all selfishness is consciously
relinquished, and vigorously denied, and constantly stamped out, no being is
benign. That is a fact. If you ignore this fact, all that you perceive would be
reflections of your very loving heart and the defensive screen that selfishness
employs to keep you continuously blind. That is also a fact, as much as you
may choose to dislike it.
Messenger: I shall not pass judgment by liking or disliking it.
Master: You also must understand, that all obsessive clinging is the sign
of selfishness alone. The temples and the cloisters are full of those who
choose to cling to me alone; that does not make them good, or altruistic, or
benevolent. It only makes them pious, and afraid, and weak, that's all. Of
course there are a lot of those that enter into me to serve unselfishly and in
the name of Love, but most are there in the name of fear and loneliness; in
the attempt to hide their selfish longings from themselves, but not from me. I
see it all for what it is; who is to offer and who is to beg and plea. How good
are you at seeing that subtle difference?
Messenger: Not very good at all, I am afraid.
Master: I did not think you were. There is a difference in seeing good in
everyone and seeing only good. Some day that difference may save your
life. Acquire it. It is called discrimination of the higher order, discrimination
of motive and intent. Am I being clearly understood?
Messenger: Yes Master. You have painted a rather gloomy picture.
Master: It is not as gloomy as it seems; those are necessary stages of
development. It must be recognized and not despised or feared. As I have
always told you, dear, three steps away, unless it's me.
Messenger: It sounds more like three steps away and back against the
wall.
Master: As it should be in some extreme cases. One must defend oneself
from all intrusions. No attempt to minimize your light, being it by
obstructing; preventing or drawing it in selfish need, shall be perceived as
benevolent by you again. However small or well concealed, that action
always constitutes attack on your Divinity's maximum manifestation of
itself. How difficult is that to understand?
Messenger: Not difficult at all. To act upon it is another matter. One
must be vigilant, I do not seem to be.
Master: Then, expand and nurture your vigilance. If you are constantly
diminished by selfishness that tries to feed on you or to obscure, you shall
never know the extent of your grace and power. Besides, that fluctuates your
energies and throws them out of balance, prevents the harmony of flow and
disrupts all your attempts at manifestation or creation. Consider this
extremely carefully. Do not dismiss it, as you are tempted to do. All I have
just described does not absolve you of your assumed responsibilities, just
alters the approach you should have towards their fulfillment. Is that
understood?
Messenger: Yes, Master.
Master: Then go in peace and understand this well. Your very life
depends on it right now.
 Master’s Birthday & The Hearts that Harbor
Malice
It was hard for me to assimilate last discourse.David, in his vigilance and
training, was totally unmoved and not surprised. He said, it was about time I
begun to grow up and took off my rose colored glasses, unless I was looking
up. I felt that the information shared had left me no friends and no one to
trust in, not on this plane. Besides, some indiscretions of my youth were
raising doubts in me as to my own supposed benevolence. That had to be
addressed and so I went to ask.

Messenger: Hi, Master. You look much younger, just like your picture.
Master: You are forcing issues, aren't you?
Messenger: What do you mean?
Master: How good are you at keeping a schedule?
Messenger: I work, don't I?
(At this point, I realized that Master was referring to the talk David had,
while my mind was still on previous discourse, in which he had suggested
that I should keep a set schedule for contacts, since it may aid the difficulties
I was lately experiencing. I did not care either way or did I listened really, so
I said: sure I'll try, without giving it any consideration. But Master was
listening, apparently, better than I was.)
Master: It isn't what I meant and you know it. You know all too well,
you must be in a certain frame of mind and quite exact emotional plateau in
order to be successful. You call it being called, when in fact it only has to do
with your receptivity. I stand available to all at any given moment. How
many reach me on any level?
Messenger: I don't know.
Master: Not many at all. You lack some basic understanding about what
makes your contacts possible. You certainly will not be able to keep a
schedule, nor are you expected to do so. You must be able to connect
without added strain of the commitment to a time and day and place. So far,
your insight served you well. Why alter it? You are afforded some
dispensation and certain freedom to suit your personality and traits. Don't
fight it, use it.
Messenger: Yes, Sir, I quite agree with you. Why do you look so young?
Master: Maybe it is my birthday.
Messenger: You're joking!
Master: Maybe I am. You are still displeased with the last discourse.
How much so?
Messenger: You have called just about six billion + people malevolent.
It is difficult to absorb.
Master: Not nearly that many. There are quite a few unselfish souls
around, you just don't know many of them at this time. But even you know a
few, without recognition. There are also those who are so bound by belief
that forces them into complete benevolence of action. Most of them will
never act upon the seed of malice in their hearts, and most of those will not
even admit to having it, or recognize it. As far as the mundane affairs are
concerned, they are benevolent, if only to some depth, and only I shall be the
wiser.
Messenger: At 13 I almost killed myself for reasons I still cannot even
begin to fathom. Was I malevolent?
Master: Did you wish to die?
Messenger: Not that I recall, not that time. There were many times after
when I did, but I could not bring myself to do anything.
Master: You just acquired half the answer. Experience you have
produced became a buffer, when times were dark, precluding you from
drastic action. The other reason is even simpler and easier than that. There
was an entity you had to meet in certain circumstance and that was quite
essential. That was the circumstance, the time, the place. That simple.
Messenger: I don't really remember who and why.
Master: You did your thing, your business have concluded. But you are
still concerned. Why? You said yourself, you did not want to die or even
hurt yourself. Did you?
Messenger: Not that I remember. The plan have come with surgical
precision, it crystallized in minutes and I decided it was not a bad idea to try
and implement. I was not even depressed.
Master: But you were quite depressed a few times afterwards, but could
not do a thing, not even a good attempt. And why? You have already
clarified futility of that affair to yourself under controlled conditions. From
there on you always could decide that things are not as bad as they appear, or
you would do it, because you've proven the ability already. A simple ploy of
wisdom to protect the ignorance until it gets a chance to be dispelled.
Besides, there was that matter of the meeting that had to be resolved. Just
call it ingenuous self preservation, if you may. There is no reason to call it
malice, there were none.
Messenger: You always find reasons to excuse me.
Master: You never do. All right, let us examine your supposed malice.
When someone hurt you, did you seek revenge?
Messenger: Never.
Master: Did you ever imagined in your head how lovely would it be to
see them suffer various indignities, if not a tortured death?
Messenger: Never.
Master: What is the very worst you ever wished to the biggest offenders
in your life?
Messenger: I wish you'd know exactly how I feel this very moment and I
am sure it would make you stop.
Master: Now, understanding as much as you know, is it not an act of self
defense, and not a very good one at that? Even in anguish you try to
mitigate. My dear, your lack of malice borders on stupidity. I wish I did not
have to be so cruel, you left me no choice. Have we exhausted this, I pray?
Messenger: Yes Master, I am sorry.
Master: There are some subtle points you need to understand. You have
been told that opposites attract. It is so, but only on a certain level. When
essence is involved, it is the opposite. What it is you represent, what it is you
carry, however hidden, denied or even unrecognized, will attract more of the
same. An invitation does not have to be of the intent, it may be of the
essence only. Darkness is prolific, as you well know, but not much
understand. You see mass murderer leave a bloody trail and perish un-
remorsefull. That you understand. You see young mother by all accounts
loving and devoted, who went to services without ever missing and gave to
charity, and then she kills her child. She cries remorsefully when caught and
begs forgiveness. You call her "monster" and you do not understand. It's
simple, dear. Heart that harbors malice to anyone for any reason at any time,
is always open to more of it when time and circumstances deem it right.
When seeming goodness have been acted on continuously and openly, no one
ever question depth of soul, concealed emotions or fantasies you all call
harmless, or even thoughts that you pickup that not yours. come in to you
upon condition that recognizes what exists already and adds to it more of the
same. You have been breached, you know what I mean.
Messenger: Do you mean Michael?
Master: Him also. You asked for higher love and recognition - that you
received. You did not specify the host. As for the much discussed event that
went unnoticed, look at how you were breached. Your need of beauty to
express have become their only available opening. It have been used with
skill and grace and malice, and even though you questioned, but not enough
and not in time. Now do you believe that if it was possible to put a weapon
into your hands, it would have not been attempted? Think again. Given a
trace of any malice, it would have been nurtured in you from day one; you
always were surrounded by watchers. Your destiny was known from the
start. They always made you run, no matter how provoked. Even when your
loved ones were threatened, you did not strike them in defense; you cried;
you left. No one was listening to your perceptions; you did not force your
views. What else is there? Satisfied?
Messenger: Drizella wields a sword.
Master: You are exasperating. She is on different plane and under
different rules. Besides, what is more defensive than patrol? Prevent a
breach is much more beneficial than fighting off full scale attack, is it not?
Believe me, she have learned her lessons in triplicate, as you would say. Are
we now finished with the subject? Can you accept the fact that most of those
you considered good and decent are may be decent, but hardly good?
Believe it; it is so. You must recognize the potential for malice in all of those
who carry the seeds. There are always signs, do not dismiss them. It is as it is
foolish. Stop being gullible; stop feeling guilty. Be realistic. You have been
warned. You may retire now. This was quite tiresome, but necessary. Come
back when this have been assimilated and understood, and always watch your
back, not only you. Good night.
 Hard Choices & Clues of Hidden Dangers
For some time now David and I were discussing our future together, at
least the "completely free, completely unobstructed" part of it. It was rather
obvious, that our loved ones were to be a great obstacle to that. Lakieya of
course, in her eternal compliance with absolutely anything that David ever
uttered, seemed a predictable and manageable distraction. Being that, our
main concern was not to inflict much pain or any damage and deal with her
fragile state as mercifully and carefully as possible. To me the task seemed
never ending, I did not see her ever exiting the scene, gracefully or otherwise,
unless blatantly asked. Well, neither one of us could ever do that, so we
would most probably forever be a threesome in some way, shape or form.
David was convinced of his non-attachment and of the progress he was
making, I did not see a reason to get into all of this right now. There was no
need, not like it was ever going to change, so we could tackle it when and if
the need arose. My son, on the other hand, was a different story all together.
Settling comfortably into the teens, he grew more arrogant and disrespectful
by the moment. Convinced of his superiority of reason, thought and action,
he knew he ruled his little corner of the world, which, of course, included his
father and myself. Like almost every youth, he was sure of his invincibility
and skills to manipulate and to conceal. I do not think he thought me stupid,
but he thought me gullible and trusting, and himself sly and wise. David was
concerned, and rightfully so, that his arrogance of actions may cause to
manifest conditions, that inescapably would be karmic and would trap me
into a return, or two, or three, and subsequently him also. He was convinced,
the boy must be released out of my sphere of influence ASAP, unless some
drastic changes are immediately adopted. Having done that with many of his
own kids, he was quick to draw, and merciless, and cold, and unsympathetic,
or so it seemed to me. The logic and the reason of his insistence was evident
to me, especially in view of recent very unpleasant unfoldments my son have
created or have participated in, that were a clear warning sign of things to
come. So, keeping the purpose of the Union first and foremost, I have
promised to do the right thing and send the boy to his father, as punishment
and education, which in my heart equaled with throwing him to the wolfs. It
was agreed, the boy was to be given choices and conditions under which
those choices should be exercised. To me, considering his age and state of
being, that was about the same. Instead of throwing him to the wolfs, I was
arranging for him to go there voluntarily, in blindness and in ignorance. That
was a poor consolation, but no other way was seen at this time. I was in
agony over my decision, but saw no other course of actions that would
support our cause. Compliance was inevitable and I do not like discussing
inevitability at all. We had some questions of a different nature, so I set out
to inquire, but the opportunity to ask did not materialize.

Ariel: The thought of leaving your son appalls you.

Messenger: Quite.
Ariel: What if he chooses to stay?
Messenger: That's different.
Ariel: But still...
Messenger: But still. I have assumed a responsibility of providing
guidance and safety for this being for as long as need be, until it's no longer
needed. Now I am backing out of this responsibility for my own personal
gain. Deserting people in their hour of need is not my strong point, and don't
deny it is his hour of need.
Ariel: It is. The thought of leaving him have never crossed your mind.
You had assumed he is your charge for the duration.
Messenger: Isn't that what parents do? I took the job of a mother, I tried
to measure up. Apparently, I was not quite good enough, results are dismal.
I may succeed from human point of view, but it is not enough!
Ariel: How much of sacrificing are you planning on and what are you
trying to accomplish?
Messenger: I have no goals besides the one's I've outlined before.
Provide guidance, and safety, and Love.
Ariel: Your teachings are not exactly welcome or taken seriously.
Messenger: I know that. This is not a time to make an impact. During
the teens the best you can do is protect them from themselves. The rest
comes later. But it is quite obviously out of my hands. No one desires us
together, except for maybe him and maybe me. I am not even sure of that at
all.
Ariel: If you move on without him against his will and yours, would this
not leave a hole inside your being?
 Messenger: I don't know. I have other responsibilities, besides this one.
To you, to us, to myself, to the Master and the work we are doing.
Ariel: Your responsibility to me requires no sacrifices. Your choices are
your own and we embrace them yet unmade, for we are sure Love shall make
them. We ask for wisdom, not for cruelty. The Master also needs you whole,
not fractured and grieving and full of guilt. Consider your choices carefully.
Messenger: Is he a threat?
Ariel: O course he is a threat. Not an active one, but passive one without
any doubt. Nothing we cannot deal with if need be. One thing you did
extremely well, my Love, he does not hate and he is very loyal, misguided as
his loyalty may be. He has compassion also. At where he is, it is not bad at
all. It can be done, if need be.
Messenger: What is a threat?
Ariel: His selfishness, of course, his lack of real interest in anything that
matter, his superficiality. The worse, of course, he learned from you, his lack
of discrimination, compounded by his loyalty. It is apparent that he needs
some lessons to really appreciate the light.
Messenger: I happen to agree with you on that. You know I will do the
right thing, regardless.
Ariel: It is the "regardless" part that really worries me. You see him as
susceptible to any kind of influence and vulnerable to darkness that conceals.
You feel it is your job to minimize those influences and strengthen those
vulnerabilities.
Messenger: It is my job. Who else is there?
Ariel: In the mundane, no one, of course. But then, there is us. While
you are standing between him and the abyss, who is standing next to me, who
is inside my heart, who is doing higher duty? You said yourself, God in
essence is exclusive, it knows nothing but itself and nothing but itself may
enter, but all the multitudinous is loved. How can you be a gateway and a
buffer and still be us?
Messenger: I told you, I shall do the right thing. How many times shall I
repeat it?
Ariel: How resentful are you of the right thing?
Messenger: We've been through this already. I think it's right; I say it's
right; I do it. No conflict. Are you satisfied?
Ariel: Are you?
Messenger: I am resigned.
 Ariel: And in your heart, do you believe it to be right?
Messenger: I do.
Ariel: And yet you dread the day it must be done and your conscience is
screaming: "How can you do it?"
Messenger: So what?
Ariel: If something tragic is to take place while out of your care, would
you forgive yourself?
Messenger: Hardly.
Ariel: If something tragic is to take place while in your care, would you
forgive yourself?
Messenger: There is nothing to forgive. I know I'm doing the best I can;
the best I know how. If it is not good enough, it is not my fault. I am what I
am, If it is not enough, the fault is not mine by any stretch of the imagination.
Ariel: I am very much concerned about your future actions.
Messenger: Don't you trust me to do the right thing?
Ariel: Of course I do. I wish to minimize your suffering, that is my
primary concern.
Messenger: Are you implying, no matter what I do my suffering is soon
to follow?
Ariel: Not in the least.
Messenger: Are you implying, something tragic is to follow, no matter
what?
Ariel: Not that also.
Messenger: Then I do not understand.
Ariel: You will.
Messenger: How long have we been under attack?
Ariel: Since the inception.
Messenger: How come we only became aware recently?
Ariel: Things have intensified, inroads were made. Your weaknesses
were played upon. He was first, you were to follow. Now you are being
played against each other. How are they doing?
Messenger: Not too well.
Ariel: I pray you are right.
Messenger: How all right are you?
Ariel: Just as you are.
Messenger: You sound as if you are starring disaster in the face. Is one
impending?
 Ariel: You tell me. Your most fundamental basic instinct is being
played upon and tested.
Messenger: I thought it is self preservation.
Ariel: It is the one.
Messenger: I thought you meant motherhood.
Ariel: That too, to a lesser degree.
Messenger: Be direct. Is my son's physical presence in my life puts me
into direct danger?
Ariel: Don't be ridiculous.
Messenger: Then, what does?
Ariel: You know I cannot tell. I may confirm, if need be, that is all. And
even then it may not be possible to even do that.
Messenger: How is my son involved?
Ariel: He isn't. He is of pestilence and irritation and distraction,
annoyance and stupid waste of time, not danger. He is too obvious, too self
absorbed; but also he is loyal, if misguided, and needful of your love. The
danger is not at all as open or as clear, or as easily defined. I warned you
many times already, this is the last; can't do it anymore. Don't look for logic
and don't look for reason; don't look for sympathy. Irrationality is alien to
you, but not to them. I no longer may discuss the subject. We pushed too far
some time ago. You have to rest. Do not allow this discussion to depress
you, concerned you should be. He can decipher it; have faith and trust his
gifts. Go rest now, I'll see you later. Protect yourself and always watch your
back.

No, he did not decipher it, although we did not know it at the time, or he
was not forthcoming with his insights. It took us months to truly understand
exactly how the angels were pushing boundaries of non disclosure of
unknown in their attempts to aid and protect us. We are so very grateful for
their efforts, much more now than we were then. We were blind in our
concealed attachments or in our lack of understanding of why were we
compelled to do certain things certain way. We hardly were in search of
answers; justification - surely. Avoidance of the truth in its entirety always
exacts price of pain and discontent, at least from me. David is very good at
hiding at the source, while allowing me to straighten myself out. What can I
say? He waits; he guides; he teaches; he does not nurse, at least not me, for
which I'm always very grateful.
 Oppositions to Our Union & The Angelic
Parameters
External unpleasantness in our lives persisted. We dealt with it the best
we knew how. Everything I always considered raging paranoia on David's
part and therefore ignored, I had to learn to take seriously and protect myself
against. Those were difficult adjustments, but necessary to survive and
progress further. Otherwise, we worked as always, disallowing the
distractions to affect us the best we could. David was very curious for some
elaborations about the signs I saw embroidered on the wall of the tent during
our first encounters; although he had some insights, he felt there was more. I
thought it was about time I ask. Besides, the first draft of book one was
finished and celebration was in order. I went to see the Angel and share the
good news. We were extremely glad to see each other, we hugged and
laughed, he twirled me around like he used to do before.

Messenger: Hi, Angel. The book is almost finished.

Ariel: How do you like it?
Messenger: It's lovely. Except the poems, I want them gone.
Ariel: They are OK, as you would say, adequate.
Messenger: You do not like them?
Ariel: No.
Messenger: I do not like them either. David wanted you to comment on
the signs.
Ariel: There is really no need. The first one, born in the initial explosion
of all the passions unacknowledged, concealed and stifled. It shows two
uniting into one, while harboring their separate agendas. There was no purity
as yet in thought, or word, or deed, and be it not for memories of old that
begged to be expressed, nothing would have transpired. But once you've
touched all that begun to change, as it had to, and passions paled in
comparison to love. Reflection entered, synchronicity and understanding
begun to emerge slowly in bits and pieces. That is what the second sign is all
about. The gold of space, the symmetry of being and synchronicity --
Reflections. But the circle is not yet closed by conflicting wills, attachments
and lack of clear sight and singleness of purpose. That is why all roads you
took, however totally reflected and synchronized, begun nowhere and ended
nowhere. The common point was not yet reached, the common goal was not
yet seen; the spirals were winding even then, but even then the space
emerged in gold, reflecting what was to come. Once I have seen it, there was
no need to worry, for even stubborn man like David would be unable to resist
its pull. With your incredible perceptions of course you knew it right away as
you and yours, but in your total lack of understanding you judged and
misinterpreted, while he held on his solitary guard of noncommitment to
anything or anyone but Source alone and him alone as well.
Messenger: We know the history, dear, You are rambling.
Ariel: I am not rambling, and yes we do.
Messenger: You have told me time and again, I am all but totally
defenseless and where I am I need defenses not, because you shall protect.
The Master said it also. Now there is breach after breach occurring and threat
is constant and never-ending. I need defenses very much, and from what I
gather, so do you. How come?
Ariel: I have informed you both that you were missed on certain levels
by certain entities. However seemingly benign their mundane representations
be or not be, it does not guarantee benevolence of their spirit, especially when
threatened by denial or withdrawal. Those of them who are represented on
the angelic are not necessarily in any synchronicity of the development with
their mundane representations. One may be striving towards the light, the
other does not as yet, or visa versa, or not at all. Those without the angelic
representation are even less equipped to understand what is transpiring or
appreciate its grandeur or its need. On astral all of them are full of
dissatisfaction and took the loss quite personally, indeed. Some even have
solicited assistance to make their grievances be known to us in more
pronounced way. There is a union of sorts existing on astral of all the
dispossessed and disenchanted and most of them are far from the benign, the
rest are quickly learning. We, of course, are more than well equipped to deal
with their efforts, but we may not destroy, as you well know, or tamper.
Only defense in strictest terms is available to us in this respect. For you it's
different. You can be breached on many levels, on any level you are attuned
to, and we can offer you protection just so far against the threat in the
mundane. You understand, the astral is quite different, but even there we
may not really interfere with anyone's development. Whichever road they
choose, we cannot be preventive, only defensive, and even then only of your
existence, not even your well being; unless the rules are broken and they are
not. In other words, we have free reign against all evil uninvited that wants
to enter you and claim you or mess with you in any way. We have quite
limited allowable response when someone chooses to dislike you and attack
you. That will be interfering with karma and that is completely disallowed.
The only thing we can advise you is what you are already doing: cut all non
essential ties to anyone and everyone and seal up the essential. Eventually,
they'll trip themselves, they always do. Their jealousy or envy or neediness
of you will make them cross the line and then -- beware. They have already
incurred casualties of their previous encounter, but somehow no parallels
were made as yet. So, give it time. All of mundane is flawed, they will
desist one way or the other.
Messenger: And in the meanwhile? How long are we suppose to be
centered in defense of our very lives? Between that and the mundane affairs
there is little left for oneness to expand and to progress. We are quite
preoccupied.
Ariel: I know. You need a consecrated space, accessible to no one; you
both are lacking that in the mundane. Besides for that, there is no other
suggestion that I can give you. I hope you learned your lessons. These are
the consequences of being open and available to all who chooses to partake,
without much discrimination. Your former causes, big and small, have all
come back to haunt you. You now see that promise which they've shown was
only promising as long as they were fed. Enough of that. What else is new,
my Love?
Messenger: Oh, nothing. We love, we live, we manifest, trying hard to
be one step ahead of karma. Are we successful?
Ariel: You are so far, at least as far as karma, but both of you are hanging
by a thread. You know that too well, but you are both persistent. You have
decided, time is on your side, but you are wrong. Time is indifferent to
anybody's side, what does exist is there, then or now; what is consistently
ignored or disregarded is just as absent as that which does not exist. There
are choices to be made, but not by you and you both are in no position to
influence or amend them. You have your own decisions to implement, which
you are still at war with more or less, although I must consent it have been
less, thank goodness.
Messenger: So, you and Drizella are in no danger?
 Ariel: My dear girl, unlike you, we have defenses plenty. An army will
arise at our defense if need be. To us they are only pleading, except the truly
foolish ones which are no more. It's you we are concerned with. There are
some things you simply have to face; they are all karma forming for the other
party.
Messenger: What if the other party is not afraid of karma? Should it not
then be your domain? You know what I mean.
Ariel: Only if they are not embodied. Unfortunately, all we can do for
you is make sure they do not acquire any specific disembodied help, no more
than that.
Messenger: Now this is disenchanting.
Ariel: It is, I know, But those are the rules. We are doing what we can,
believe me.
Messenger: What do they want?
Ariel: A piece of you, of course, some want complete possession. How
difficult is that to understand?
Messenger: It isn't, never mind. I see that all we can do is wait and
perceive. Are our loved ones in any danger?
Ariel: Only if you choose to bleed for them, they may be used as vehicle
to bring forth guilt, or sorrow, or compassion, or need to nurse again. If you
remain detached they are all right.
Messenger: This is all entirely depressing. It is not how I wish to live my
life. It isn't fair.
Ariel: No, it isn't fair, it isn't pretty and it isn't nice. That isn't what they
are all about. Meet selfishness itself, concealed in many shapes and forms,
disguised as anything, from friendship to well wishing, to sympathy and
empathy, and even love itself. It's patient; it's unending; it's greedy and only
it itself can make it stop. Get used to it. Three things write your karma:
selfishness; ignorance and gullibility, but selfishness is queen.
Messenger: I think I want to go home now. I was expecting solutions or
resolutions, but there are none I can see. Just wait, defend and wait some
more. Grim picture.
Ariel: Depress yourself and they have won already. Remember who you
are and they have lost.
Messenger: All right, my Angel! I shall see you later. I love you very
much and I shall not be sad. There will be no diminishment, I promise.
Ariel: Come see us as you wish, we always wait for you. Take care.
Messenger: You do too.
 Maternal Choices
As the day of my permanent move grew closer, I was anxious to resolve
to my satisfaction all the emotional baggage that still burdened me. One
wants to travel light; and also I have this fantasy of perfect new beginnings,
unspoiled by the old, and a silly idea that if achieved, they would expand into
a perfect everything to follow, unless allowed to become polluted, but I
should not. Ridiculous and childish, but no one is perfect, especially not me,
which makes the idea even more improbable, but one just have to try. I guess
it was somewhere in my mind when Master called. I greeted Him as always.

Messenger: Hi, Master. You look displeased.

Master: I am not displeased.
Messenger: Then what?
Master: At this point, I wish a resolution. You are not learning and you
are not progressing. And why, I ask? Once again, you have set some rather
unreasonable expectations of yourself and you are upset that you are unable
to meet them. You do desire relocation, do you not?
Messenger: I absolutely do.
Master: Then tell me now, without any omissions, exactly what
apprehensions do you hold against that needed action you aspire to? Leave
nothing out, big or small, lets get it all cleared out, once and for all. Begin.
Messenger: I was always hoping against all hope, that I would not be
present for the disclosure. Now I know I will be. I do not cherish the idea.
Master: You will not be present for the disclosure, regardless of your
place of residence, you have my word on it. If there is a peaceful resolution
or if there is a violent blow out, regardless of the means or outcome, it has
nothing to do with you and never did. If you continue to stay out of that
situation altogether, as you have been, its natural progression, delayed or not
and violent or not, shall pass you by completely, as it should. Is this resolved
to your satisfaction?
Messenger: Yes, Sir, completely.
Master: Then, your next point.
Messenger: The question of self sufficiency, as in financial, but also
transportation. I know that I am quite capable of supporting myself, and if
there are taxis in existence, I shall be able to get to and from, but I have
extended no effort in any direction to provide any of it.
Master: Why not?
Messenger: I put my efforts and my faith into our power of
manifestation.
Master: But nothing happened.
Messenger: So far.
Master: And all the while, your basic nature of independence and self
sufficiency dictates you, that you must cover all the bases. Expect the best,
be prepared for anything.
Messenger: Something like that.
Master: Well, dear, if you feel the need to having backup, then of course
supply it, by all means.
Messenger: But would it not be a faithless act, an act of doubt?
Master: Consider it an act of prudence. If you are lacking anything, be it
security or action or assuredness, all you attract and all you manifest is more
lacking, nothing else. Provide yourself with everything you need to feel
completely and totally secure, and that security will multiply in every way
and expand in every direction. Do what you must to be at ease and ease you
shall attract. Now the obvious. You feel the boy to be a part of you.
Messenger: I never did.
Master: All right, you feel the boy is an integral part of your life. You
feel your job is incomplete and your parental duty is unfinished.
Messenger: I am not sure about the first part, I never looked at it like
that. I can't say yes, but I can't say no, I am not sure. As for the second part,
yes, absolutely.
Master: What if he chooses to remove himself from your sphere of
influence?
Messenger: Then, he liberates me from this duty. I would not be thrilled,
but I would not fight it. The choice is his.
Master: So far his mouth chose you, even if his actions beg to differ.
Messenger: This is the age, and cultural stereotypes. Teenagers are
expected to rebel, then when they do, they are ostracized. In any case, it is a
painful age, in need of guidance, protection and patience, and much
forgiveness and understanding.
Master: I quite agree. All of youth, deprived of hardships, duty and
discipline, and most of all, direction, expel their excess energies into stupidity
and futility, and discontent is born out of conflict of what is available, what
is needed and what is lacking. You went through it and barely survived, but
hardly learned a thing. Now your son is going nowhere fast and you are
struggling to stop his fall and failing. But you refuse to fail. You only quit
when you are ahead, you cannot cut your losses. What is yet unformed
cannot be called a loss. Am I correct?
Messenger: Entirely. If someone like myself passed judgment on me
when I was 14, I would not be standing.
Master: My dear girl, no one of us has ever wished to deprive you of
anything or anyone that's dear to you. You are not expected to give up
anything or anyone you are committed to, not now and not ever, unless the
detriment begins to outweigh. But then, decisions won’t be yours and we are
not at that juncture.
Messenger: Did you mean not yet?
Master: I did not.
Messenger: But still you called him chains or bondage.
Master: My dear, assumed responsibility of parenthood is largely karmic
calls for resolution; however, in your case, all that had been resolved,
expunged and nullified some time ago. You don't desire to possess or to
impose, only to protect and guide, and under motherhood it is allowed.
Under the laws of your society he is not a separate entity as yet, and as bright
and shrewd as he may be, he is emotionally rather immature, because you
sheltered him from pain so very well. You wish to see him to maturity
instead of throwing him to the wolfs, it is quite understandable.
Messenger: You never commented on chains or bondage.
Master: All those you emotionally supported through friendship or
convenience; all those who were allowed to prosper at your expense, and
some still do; all the ungrateful, and undeserving, and greedy, and lustful
who coveted, and wished, and schemed, and preyed upon --they are chains.
All those you deliberately kept at your never-ending patience and mercy --
they are bondage. It would be cruel to call the child those things. He is your
assumed responsibility, elective as may be. He is of course a draw upon your
time and efforts, but would his absence be a bigger draw upon your
conscience, and love, and duty? Without any doubt. Is he a detriment to
your completion and fulfillment? Without a doubt. Motherhood in essence is
a sacrifice of a highest form. Fatherhood is not the same in essence as
motherhood. Of course there are exceptions and misconceptions, but it is by
design: by how a child is formed inside the mother's body, when most of the
resources of the host are given to the newly forming vessel at the expense of
self, and then of course the nursing. Each one of you is born in sacrifice and
once assumed, it's very hard to stop it. Of course in vast majority of cases it
is a selfish sacrifice, but not in yours. You did not strive for immortality
through genes; you did not wish for your continuation; you did not claim the
ownership. Protection, love and nurturing and guidance -- yours was and is
unselfish sacrifice. You are concerned, will he present a danger, or is he?
Messenger: I am.
Master: Deliberately by his hand you are in no danger. His selfishness
and foolishness of course may be a major inconvenience and only if allowed.
True danger lays in your reactions and your actions, and David's also. That is
where true danger lays. The boy is difficult and ignorant and stubborn, but at
this point he is quite free of hate and full of tolerance and loyalty and well
concealed respect, but also fear. Is he a demon sent to break your life, retard
your duty and obscure your oneness? My dear, there is nothing you have
done to earn a trial of this magnitude to enter. I told you recently, like enters
like, it isn't just genetics. However large and massive karmic debt his father
have contributed to this equation, he could not and did not produced a demon
into your existence; it would have not been possible, forget allowed. If he
had needs like that, he'd produce more children by someone else, but dear,
not by you. Of course it is not to say that if the boy choose to, and turn to
darkness deliberately and embrace it alone, what will emerge is just the
same. But he has you and you have us; and even that is not a guarantee of
certainty; however; it is a considerable blessing.
Messenger: I still have no answers.
Master: But of course you do. The choice is his by action or inaction,
not just by word. No mother in her proper mind would put a child of her
unending sacrifice into inferior protection and lack of any guidance by her
choice. That would have been depraved. When offspring deems itself grown
and choose its independence -- all is well. When child insists on choosing his
protector and guardian -- that should be honored also. Each way you look,
it's out of your hands.
Messenger: The Angel saw it different.
Master: Hardly. The Angel wanted you informed and so do I. Are we
concluded now? It is late. If need be we shall touch it later. You need your
rest, good night.
 Master’s Guidance on Negative
Transference by Examples
The conversations that I have in a past week or so have eased my feelings
and my conscience quite a bit. Finally, I found myself with no decisions to
make and no choices to exercise or not, just waiting for the proper un-
foldments to take their place. I was embarrassed for taking so much of
everyone's time and effort to acquire some personal comfort; it did not seem
appropriate or right. I was ready and willing to assume my higher duties
once again and was expecting it fully when Master called. Strangely, the
skies were in heavy clouds outlined in gold, nothing like I've ever seen on
this plane. Right in front of my feet a large circle outlined itself in the sand
as if by a force field of sorts and begun to rise, leaving a black hole,
seemingly bottomless, filled with stars, as if the day skies were above me, but
the night skies were beneath me and if I moved, I would have fallen into
them without a parachute. Not a very pleasant or secure feeling, I may note.
After a little while, the circle of sand descended rapidly and fell into its place,
raising a considerable sand cloud, through which I could not see. When the
dust settled, the Master was beside me, his eyes open wide. I was so startled
by the show, I forgot to acknowledge him at first, he only waited until I did.

Messenger: What was it all about?

Master: Forget the show. I'm glad you called. There are still some
misconceptions and misunderstandings that I believe are happening.
(He took my hand and stood extremely close.)
Messenger: Like what?
Master: That talk we had the other day have been misunderstood.
Messenger: How come? But that aside, I was hoping we shall converse
about something beside my personal existence.
Master: That we shall, but not as yet. There must be balance present and
there isn't.
Messenger: You look concerned. I do not see a reason. I am quite happy.
The talk was beneficial.
Master: That is so, but as your reactions stand and your understanding, so
far it is one sided and rather limited. You have to understand at large, that
any task you undertake not relevant to your primary mission, however well
you insulate; however well you seemingly detach, that task shall always be of
detriment to your mission. There are degrees of course, but neither one of
you are presently equipped with enough wisdom or enough detachment to
clearly assess the levels and degrees of that. Unknown factors are too many
and predispositions, though do exist, are usually poor indicators of the
realities that are to come. Too many wild cards, too much concealment, too
many lies and wishful thinking are involved. Now, due to the very nature of
the plane and its demands on you, ranging from just survival to the benefits
of others that you touch, whose paths are intertwined with yours; any and all
required interactions, elective or essential, of course shall be a draw upon
your energies and balance, and shall detract from primary objective to various
degrees. It is completely understandable and quite expected. The mission is,
after all, primarily about service, besides for self enlightenment, of course.
At certain point in time you shall progress so far, that nothing and no one will
be able to penetrate your oneness, the certainty of it will be unmoved by
anything but will of God, and Love and pure striving. Then of course, all of
your secondary causes will truly be charitable, just for the joy of giving, but
not as yet. All of your close interactions at this point are sacrificial in nature,
since with every one of them some diminishment is taking place, however
minimized by efforts. I do not see a reason for concern on either of your
parts for this occurrence. In terms of personal evolution this is where you are
and this is how it works at present. With this understanding in mind, you see
that all is as it suppose to be. You both have presently adjusted the nature of
your personal contacts to be as merciful and as removed from ties as your
development allows. You both have chosen not to severe all the ties with
your respective charges as we speak, for the concerns of causing unnecessary
pain and slowing down their development by it. I am pleased to see that you
no longer wish to stop the very pain from happening, and even if the point of
it being unnecessary may be argued, if you choose to mitigate the degrees of
it, that call is of your mercy. I wish for you to understand, that if your
mitigation fails to accomplish what you set out to accomplish, you shall not
cry, you shall not bleed, you shall not nurse, but you may still be merciful if
you choose so. Now, we all see that your love for each other and for me is
unpolluted by the wants and passions, and clinging, and expectations of the
gain; and even certainty of its continuation, you do not take for granted; you
appreciate. The task is then to be completely sure that your love for others is
the same, completely free, completely unpolluted, and that your famous
loyalty and patience does not conceal a host of covert ties that neither one of
you are looking at. You understand, this goes for both of you. Sit down and
be comfortable now, we are not finished yet. We want you both to
understand, that at this point the way things are, discussed and understood
and totally accepted, detached and mastered to a degree of capabilities of
yours; it is acceptable to us and quite expected, that there will always be
some ones you deem deserving of your sacrifice or giving, as future will
present. You are allowed and expected to have some charges to exercise
your love; your mercy if need be; your need for teaching and for sharing. We
all have those needs. You both becoming one, are no longer so able to fulfill
those needs by yourselves, and this is wonderful; it is a sign of oneness
solidifying. Of course you are completely self contained in your Divinity, in
your humanity you never are expected to be. That would be self defeating of
the cause of service, would it not? I am quite pleased with you in your
complete acceptance of his assumed responsibility. Your non-judgmental
and non-interfering way is very loving and your total willingness to abide by
any choices made is a sign of your devotion. Your dis-allowance of the
consequences of those choices, or even their presence itself, to affect
anything that matter is also very loving, if somewhat foolish. You are
lacking some pertinent, important information about the actual volatility of
his arrangement. Over time, the Angels did aspire to inform you about certain
delicacies of it, but both of you have chose to disregard. There shall be no
complacency emerging on either of your parts, regarding this arrangement,
not now, not in the future, for both of your assessments of it fall short of
actuality for now. You both are painfully and carefully aware, that the
arrangement you are in may pose some problems and create some dangers in
the future. However, if he acquires a few points from you on how to be
tolerant and mean it, not rigid, only stern and non-conditional no matter what
occurs, those dangers will be reduced to bare minimum, if at all. As I have
said before, the danger lays in both of your actions and reactions and nothing
else. Allowing proper ease of flow of natural occurrences and disallowing
any of them to affect you and yours is all that is required there. Do not create
restrictions where there are none, allow the un-foldment of events; be
unaffected by them as a whole, and all is solved to everyone's benefit and
satisfaction. His assumed arrangement is nowhere as simple or as easy to
resolve. He is actually accomplishing some progress, or so it seems.
However, the degree of immaturity and weakness in his charge is staggering
and is escaping even his keen sense of observation. Whatever is exhibited
exists only as a gift of his presence and never ending effort; and certain
talents that supposedly exist have not been earned. They were acquired by
his presence and therefore are not beneficial, but largely detrimental to the
host. In the boy there is a lot of uncertainty of will, a lot of indecision.
Internal struggle is going on between imaginary, real and seeming data; but
there is no unwillingness to grow, no un-desire to mature, no resistance to
real knowledge or the source of it. Confusion rules him, that is so, and
certain fear of discoveries. His choices are unmade because of that; and even
so the way is not yet picked and karma is expecting and expected, and some
predisposition does exist, inroads were made, the light is being touched so
very cautiously and secretly, but independently. That shows certain promise.
However, as I said, by no means is that a guarantee. Now, in the lady's case,
none of what I said above is present. No attempt was ever made at anything
that was not predicated upon his presence or his effort. Until quite recently,
her karma was asleep, completely mitigated by his presence. One little brush
with it had almost took her life and almost took her mind, and more is
coming, be assured. There have not been any independent strive or any
independent effort towards accomplishing of anything at all, not even in the
least.
Messenger: Excuse me, Master...
Master: Be quiet please and do not interrupt. The rules are being bent
here as we speak to benefit your understanding and maybe even save your
life as well. Why do you think you are so adamantly trying to stay as far
away as possible at all times? As distasteful as you are of lies, their presence
never made you hide before, why now? Have faith in your perceptions, don't
frown on your visions. Even if they are not a picture from the future or the
past, they are a message from you to you of what is brewing all around you
unnoticed. Now to continue: He is under a distinct impression that benefits
are plentiful at last; and that regardless of the initial reasons, certain patterns
of behavior emerged and are becoming appreciated, and incorporated, and
learned, and beneficial; and that in time the initial reasons for that behavior
may be removed, the lesson will persist. It may be so in certain cases, it isn't
so in this. He had been told about it before, he chose not to listen. It was not
relevant in those times, now it is quite relevant. Whatever draw or detriment
this boy have placed on you, or may place on you if allowed, does not even
begin to compare to the other draw that is in place unseen and unheard; and
probability of it becoming mushroom cloud is ever present, and consistent,
and superb.
(There was a considerably long pause, as if He was trying to assess the
sufficiency of the impact His words have made. I have to say, they made
considerable impact.)

Master: What shall you do if she becomes disabled? What shall you do
if she becomes insane? Don't bother answering, your heart had screamed
already and this headache you acquired this very second is only a little
reminder of things to come.
Messenger: What do you want of us, what are your expectations?
Master: The most ridiculous response I ever heard. How many bodies
are laying in a coma for the expressive pleasure of seeing their loved ones
shedding tears of guilt and longing over them day after day? How many
never-ending battles are fought inside asylums every day? Are their loved
ones in any way progressing, or are they chained by madness to their guilt
and their perceived responsibilities as surely as if they were truly chained,
which of course they are? There are cancers and Alzheimer's; paralysis; all
kind of different things that keep their keepers fed regardless of where they
are, and keep their vengeance alive and well, and make you follow karma by
guilt; and sorrow; and remorse; and sympathy; and empathy; and grief.
Messenger: Excuse me, Master, none of this shall be allowed to happen.
Not by him, not by me, certainly not by us.

(A very sarcastic laugh was my first answer.)

Master: Your blindness only equals your arrogance, my dear. Why did
your neck ceased to hurt you entirely the moment you left his home and
entered yours?
Messenger: I am used to my bed and my pillows.
Master: Since when his arms were not enough for you? Did you enjoy
your little trip as you were suppose to? How much work was done?
Messenger: As much as we were able to.
Master: And all that anger that came and swallowed you one day for no
apparent reason, when you begun to see your very love as perpetrator and
abuser; the very trust you gave him you saw misused? Who's feelings were
those, that you so cleverly picked up in your much weakened state? Who are
you open to, but me and him, your son, your mother, and her? Who else, you
tell me.
Messenger: Sporadically, some people for a little while here and there.
Consistently, no one. Are you implying deliberate malice?
Master: Don't be ridiculous. Let's call it self defense, or selfishness
defending its possessions. Let's see, how did your plea used to go: "I wish
you knew exactly how I feel this very moment and I am sure this will make
you stop." Did it work for you?
(This was said utmost sarcastically.)
Messenger: Not really.
Master: You did not have quite a receptive a vessel as you present. A
harmless cry of bleeding heart, but was it? Consider all the motives and
intents. What if the next one goes: "Go away, get out of my life, of our lives
forever. Cease to be an obstacle to me and mine." What then? You do not
have to be receptive. He can deliver it to you himself, without any conscious
recognition, just as he did before. Are you acquiring some understanding, or
are you just upset, as before? I am not chastising her or criticizing, nor am I
doing it to him. Not in the least. I need that the dynamics were understood;
the possibilities explored and necessary steps are taken to prevent any future
damage. Your relocation is at hand, all of this is to be solved and resolved
prior to it occurrence. Is it understood?
Messenger: Yes, Sir. What can I do?
Master: Just listen and obey. No actual physical changes need to be
instituted and no arrangements need to cease, unless you both choose it so,
but not on this account. But changes must be made and swift. This is the
only point. Besides for this, you are progressing nicely. Once you begun to
function in altered state of consciousness, whole different set of rules begins
to govern you. Adjust. It does not mean at all that you must live in self
imposed exile, provided the adjustments are made. Am I completely clear?
Does this answers your incessant thought, that if I desired you so clear and
unobstructed, why wont I help? I did. The rest is up to you.
Messenger: My next prayer is to have a conversation not about us, me or
our lives.
Master: When you afford me a moment free of necessary guidance, that
shall transpire, I suppose. Go now, get some food, relieve that headache and
reflect upon these pages. So long.
 Bearers of Enlightenment are Resented
– So Be on Guard

I read the conversation to David over the phone, he was concerned with its
contents, but more so with my attitude towards it. He thought I was
ungrateful and suspicious, and have taken all of it entirely too lightly. He
insisted that I must apologize immediately. It was already early in the
morning, but I complied. There were certain points I wanted to explain and
so I went back. The Master looked somewhat gray and tired, his eyes were
downwards, away from me. I greeted Him and stayed low.

Messenger: Master, I am back for a short while. I have been arrogant

and may be disrespectful and I sincerely apologize. I need to say some
things. We love the lady and we love the boy; and even though large
investments were made by us in their education and their progress, we do
desire for them to see the light, regardless of our efforts. In other words, ours
is an unselfish wish; not of pride to see the consequences of our actions to
bear fruit no matter what; not in clinging to support no matter what, because
we bleed for their inability and weakness or we are guilty for our strength.
They are with us for whatever reasons we do not claim to fully understand,
but they have undoubtedly acquired some blessings and some deservedness
to be where they are; and we wholeheartedly are wishful for them to collect
upon those blessings their maximum benefits, but if they choose not to -- we
shall not insist. At this point, we are willing only to follow progress, as it’s
perceived by us. Obviously, we are rather poor judges of its sincerity, but
with your help, we are improving. We are aspiring from now on to follow
the natural flow of events and not to interfere with them or to obscure them.
If our efforts are in vain -- it is too bad, but not for us. We are no longer
clinging, nursing or concealing their imperfections from ourselves. We wish
them best, but not at our expense. As for now, if they desire our aid and
guidance, they must exhibit self sufficiency and their striving must produce
some visible results. Is that acceptable and not detrimental or dangerous?
(My speech amused Him. He turned around laughing and hugged me.)
Master: My dear girl, your efforts are so touching and even in the face of
God you plea their case unknown to yourself. Do you even comprehend the
blessings you just bestowed on them again? You just once more allowed
them to be known by God without any effort on their part. You see my
point? Not yet, I am afraid. In any case, your selfishness of motive; your
clinging to results of your endeavors; your pride in your supposed
accomplishments were not in question; not any more at least. Your clarity of
sight required some adjustments; old patterns dominated still, while
understanding grew around them, creating blind spots. That is all. As for
their presence in your life, however blessed or may be incidental, or may be
karmic or may be self imposed, duration of that presence was never specified
and until quite recently have been of very questionable benefit to them or
you, on the account of both of your neglect of mercy and real sense of duty,
complacency and blindness. All of the above have been or being mitigated as
we speak, so don't assume too much in their presence. Be both of you more
mindful of your quest, receptive to your promptings and to the quiet voice
inside your hearts, the boy would never be afforded his position to be as close
as he now is; the lady would be also quite inaccessible in her incessant spirals
of striving, but not striving and looking, but not seeing, like the most. They
caught you, dear, that is all. They seized the opportunity presented and
played it skillfully and shrewdly for what you have allowed them to play.
They have exploited your weaknesses for their selfish reasons, prolonged and
almost nullified your quest, and if allowed by compassion, would do it even
now as we stand. Be always mindful of those facts as you are centered in
your mercy. Neither one of them, in essence, is your friend and they are not
your enemy only because you disallowed that to happen and that is all. That
is what truly is. I am not implying in the least that neither one of them is now
without certain promise, and blessings you continue to extend in their
directions knowing all the facts, is quite a tribute to your love, devotion to the
light they host and their light's expansion. That is quite understood by us and
quite appreciated, if not entirely and totally approved. All we require is
awareness and caution, detachment and ever present guard. Don't take your
eyes off them, don't ever turn your backs, be always mindful of potential
pitfalls, hold oneness always first and foremost. Who knows, you may just
succeed. Don't be the road, just be the light that shines upon it, and if they
choose to walk it -- all the best.
Messenger: You do not sound very optimistic.
Master: Don't be discouraged, dear, there is no need. Once I am known
by my presence in their hearts, I shall be optimistic. As long as only you are
present there and only your voices are deliberately heard and may be even
followed, it is you who have the reasons to be optimistic, not I. Once I begin
to know them for themselves and not through you alone, I shall begin my
duty. Until then, I only wait and only manifest, but you have heard this one
before so many times. Are we concluded now on this subject? I do believe
some points became resolved in your appreciation of your duty and the extent
of it. This was a large and rather painful hurdle, but I am pleased with your
responses so far. You are preparing yourselves, as you are purifying your
vision, your emotions, your interactions with everything of lesser knowledge
and lesser understanding. You are acquiring all necessary bearing to function
in duality as a whole and not be affected or swayed by it, or fractured, even a
little bit. Once you perfect it, you will have no limits in your expression of
your Divinity; but be aware and understand that never, no matter how
enlightened or successful, or beneficial you may become, you never must
stop to watch your back. The moment you allow this to happen, your reign
will cease, I promise you this much. Your plane does not appreciate
enlightenment, but likes to use its fruits, that is a fact; while bearers of those
fruits are usually resented, at least in part, as long as they persist. Once they
desist, their safety is assessed, their teachings are examined and cleaned up
and reinterpreted as it becomes convenient for most, and then they are
godified, or sanctified, or even truly worshiped, because deceased. They are
deemed not as perceptive to their concealments, or unrelenting of their
unwillingness and un-repentance, and generally safe. As wrong and pitiful as
those facts remain, they are just so, so be aware. You are approaching real
danger zone, where few have openly ventured and made their presence
known. I am in part responsible for that, so I have warned you. Now it is
your turn to make the necessary preparation for what is coming up. I love
you both and I am pleased to be in close contact with your accomplishments.
They are of benefit to all that you have touched to a degree they have
allowed. Continue as you may, so far so very good. Go rest now, it is late.
So long.
 Be Careful who you Touch Intimately
David was exceedingly pleased with my last exchange with the Master.
He said something to the effect of "could not have said it better myself."
While the going was good, I decided to ask a question long in the back of my
mind: What is untrue in Union of Three? It have been mentioned much
earlier, at the very beginning of our awareness of the union, and since I
wondered exactly what it entailed. I did not mean outwards lies, deception or
concealment, which are openly detrimental to absolutely any relationship,
however superficial or not. I meant details, including physical fidelity, actual
permitted involvement in teaching others to rise above or even learn to fly. I
knew that David held much cherished belief that he is to be the rope to all of
those who are continuously striving and reach a certain impasse or a point
above which they are not able to ascend, not for the lack of trying. Whatever
necessary aid was needed, he was rather ready and willing to provide and
made no secret of it. It did not bother me any, the thought of exactly what it
may or may not be, although I thought it segregational and one sided in favor
of the pretty girls, but that already was discussed and we reached an impasse.
I guess neither one of us held physical fidelity in high esteem, since neither
one of us are jealous, or possessive, or insecure in our right. We briefly
mentioned it; decided that if the situation must present itself, it is all right to
do what is required, if both of us agree that is required and did not mind the
actual supposed events. While on the subject, I mentioned that if his wife's
fragile and delicate condition requires re-assuredness of sorts by physical
intimacy or closeness, I really did not mind and did not have to be informed.
I did not mention that I always was informed by other means, against my will
or better judgment, but in my head or in my heart it always was all right, no
big deal. David thanked me for my consideration and said that at this point it
would most probably be detrimental to reinstate the physical, since it would
promote false hope and also his energy levels were too high for her to handle
at this time. That part of the conversation was brief and insignificant to us.
We talked about focus on the goal, priorities, loyalty and singleness of
purpose and intent. If any of that was lost or compromised, that would be
considered untrue and cause some damage to the other party by means of loss
of energy, contamination and maybe even karma. All was addressed to
everybody's satisfaction, or so I thought. As soon as we hung up the phone, I
got a call of a different nature. I thought it strange, considering two prior
conversations took place a short while ago and covered everything of interest
or of value to both of us. I answered nevertheless and it was Ariel.

Messenger: Hi, Angel, how is life?

Ariel: It moves along.
Messenger: Shall I apologize for interrupting you last time? It's just I am
a bit exasperated with our history being repeated over and over, our lives put
on display and under a microscope and our loved ones trashed.
Ariel: I thought you have acquired certain understanding about your
loved ones.
Messenger: I did, but they still remain our loved ones.
Ariel: As for your lives being consistently examined, are you not
deriving benefits from it?
Messenger: We do of course and we are grateful, but do any other topics
still exist?
Ariel: Once the vessel is sufficiently purified, it is entrusted with some
cherished contents. And it is rather strange to me, that someone who is
claiming higher morals would be discussing what is true or is untrue in Union
of Three.
Messenger: Why not?
Ariel: What are you trying to get away with, or what are you trying to
prevent? The answer is ridiculously simple: any act or thought or word based
in the lesser, as in compassion; condescension; anger; resentment; selfishness
or personal superiority of one above the two, is deemed untrue and damage is
acquired by means of fracture; drain and loss of faith with unexplained and
nagging pain being a good indicator. Gray area exists where mercy is
concerned; but if discussed, agreed upon and weighted, it may be done.
Messenger: You are forgetting teachings and lessons.
Ariel: You must be really mad to even contemplate the thought. To risk
contamination; attachments; clinging; jealousy; possessiveness and lust for
questionable benefits of what? Anyone who is truly ready and willing and
striving, may be taken up by simply holding hands, or just by mutual
attunement. You learned it all alone up in your living room. You grossly
underestimate the power of your touch, even the trivial one, forget the
intimate. Do you believe that after touching you anyone will ever be able to
repeat the experience in the intensity and depth, and range of feelings and
emotions, and overwhelming presence of who and what you are? At best
their quest shall be amended from seeking Love of God to making love to
gods; at worst you'll overload their circuits and leave no memories but
disenchantment; at very worst you'll open flood doors of creation that may
take therapy or drugs to close, if even possible. You have a clue of how that
may play. I wish for every thought to cease that either one of you may offer
all of ourselves as educational material. The thought appalls me and I can see
no other reason on your part for that thought to even be contemplated, but
compassion and ego saying "see what I can do." Before you set out to
endeavor anything at all, remember, we are a part of that equation, so is the
Master and the Love of God. It is not just yourself you shall be violating, or
condescending, or diminishing, or offering away, it shall be us - the
partnership, the union, the oneness, the One and only. Are you satisfied?
Messenger: There was no need to get excited. It was only a theoretical
discussion.
Ariel: Do not assume to contemplate what may be best for others at our
expense, not in the least. Knock and you shall be answered, ask and you
shall receive.
Messenger: Exactly, and when I knocked, I found you.
Ariel: Exactly, you found you, and they shall find themselves, not us, not
any one of us. Were you not just told to be the light that shines upon the
road, don't be the road? That job is not only taken, it is fought for by many
egos, churches, governments and such. You wish to join the crowd? You
wish to stay in line to save some souls?
Messenger: You are mean. That was not our intention.
Ariel: I see. And when you offered for him to please his wife, where
were you centered, mercy or compassion? Did guilt for her perceived
deprivation pull your strings? Have you missed your pains, my dear, and
your visions -- doors slamming in your face? Have you missed the sadness
of not being sure that bled you dry?
Messenger: There would be no need for that anymore.
Ariel: I have to leave you now. You almost anger me. Your
nearsightedness is based in ego plays, compassion, guilt and all the lesser
things we thought you have transcended long ago. Your wisdom is in
question, so is your priority, for if you would even entertain the thought...
Oh, never mind, go home and do your thing. I must reflect and make some
serious adjustments, as to prevent a breach, or may be worse. You have to go
and I will see you later. I am quite sorry for this outburst. Good bye.

David called me shortly after, saying that upon the end of our conversation
he was bothered, so he reflected and found out we were wrong. He was
convinced already for a while, that intimacy and closeness to him have
greatly contributed to his wife's emotional collapse some time ago and that
her visions, over which she lacks control or any understanding were also a
side effect of that. If nothing else, this should be a fair indicator, that we may
not indiscriminately touch, and even with much discrimination, it should be
reserved and cautious. I read him what the Angel said, adding that I believe
he greatly overreacted and overemphasized a pure speculation. Only, David
felt it was a confirmation of his views, but not entirely to me. I still thought
that with the proper caution, reserve and a right intent in place, it can be done,
if need is great and present, or mercy called. David stated, I was on
dangerous grounds, and he was right, for what was yet to come. Anyway, a
couple of days later, the Master commented briefly upon the subject, which
changed my mind at last. David insisted that I write a few lines to prove my
understanding of the subject at last. If somewhat out of sequence, I will
include both comments now, as to preserve continuation and conclusion of
this matter.

Master: And by the way, I truly am amazed, that both of you would have
never contemplated to fracture your fidelity to me; would see the fracture of
your fidelity to Self as smaller or inconsequential. Amazing, is it not? How
much inferior to mine, you deem your touch; how much inferior to mine you
deem your presence? I did not think you did, I have to wonder now. Man,
woman, God alone is only in complete effect when balanced. I thought you
understood. Please do.

Deborah: It is now being believed by various scientists, that human

beings were not made to be monogamous; that the concept of fidelity, taught
by most religions, is man made and predicated upon survival of the species.
The Master’s comment shows it to be untrue and proves that Divine fidelity
is a law of conduct as any other law, providing one is residing in one's true
union and is no longer searching.
 The Hidden Malice Confirmed
Our recent talks upon fidelity, combined with constant mentioning of
Lakieya in some way or other, I guess left me open for the next encounter,
but I was not at all prepared for it. I still was totally convinced in her
complete benevolence, as was David, to a somewhat more cautious degree,
and neither one of us would even entertain the thought of otherwise. Of
course at this point, we meant benevolence of action and intent only, being
informed on a seed of malice behind each selfishness at large. We were sure
that the seed, if present in her, should never bear fruit, since nothing but
outwards goodness is continuously exhibited and it is an unknown factor to
her, as it was to us not long ago. Anyway, I was repeating my prayers one
fine evening and by doing so, was reinforcing my field of gold. A little
housecleaning, a little reverence, devotion and also some needed rest from
constant active guard. A big mistake! All of a sudden and without a
provocation, an image of Lakieya appeared on an upper right of my gold
aura, making an indentation, but not penetrating it. The image was visually
unstable, continuously fluctuating between mundane form and that strange
angelic form I saw a while back in her encounters with Drizella. She
appeared rather distraught and very needy. I was far less than thrilled, but
refrained from any cleansing waves, fearing she may incur damage. She
spoke to me.

Lakieya angel: I want it back. Why can't I have it back?

Messenger: What do you want?
Lakieya angel: I want my husband back.
Messenger: Then take it up with him.
Lakieya angel: I will. Not yet, not now. I want him back from you.
Messenger: Back where?
Lakieya angel: Back with me. I want his love.
Messenger: You have his love.
Lakieya angel: I want his touch. I want to sleep with him.
Messenger: Then take it up with him.
Lakieya angel: I can't. He does not listen. He has deserted me and left
me all alone. You took his love from me.
Messenger: His love is not an object to be passed around. It is a nature
of his being. It cannot be taken or taken away, only freely given.
Lakieya angel: He gave it to me first and now he gave it all to you.
There is nothing left for me. Why did you do it? How could you do it to
me? You can have anybody you want, I can only have him.
Messenger: For your information, there is no one else for me. I do not
have him, I am him.
Lakieya angel: It isn't fair and it isn't right. I was here first. He is mine, I
tell you and only mine. I try so hard, I need so much. You have to go away,
you have to quit; you have to stop right now. I hurt too much when I'm
alone. You have to stop it right away.
Messenger: How can you breach my field and be inside my gold? You
should not be able to. It is impossible.
Lakieya angel: I pray to Swami all the time to give me strength. Swami
loves me, He blessed me many times; He gives me strength. He has to make
me whole again, I need my husband to be whole again. You cannot have him
any more, you have to give him up.
Messenger: I do not have him, dear, I am him, I told you so. Do you
need me to make you whole, or only a part of me that is your so called
husband?
Lakieya angel: I hate you when you get like this.

(Immediately upon saying those words, the image have burned out in an
intense flash of gold and was no more. I did not do that, I would not have
dared, but it was a lovely demonstration of the protective power of my field.)

Messenger: You cannot be inside my field and hate. I hope you learned
your lesson.

(I am not sure who it was I was speaking to, but it has probably become a
further invitation. An image reappeared, in angelic form only. It looked
fluctuating, as if the invisible heat waves were rising from my gold aura,
creating distortions that run through the image continuously.)

Angel: You hurt me very much again. I hope you are sorry.
Messenger: You hurt yourself, my dear, by your impure thought and by
your selfishness, and lack of foresight, and lack of love, and lack of
understanding.
Angel: It hurts too much to stay. I have to go, I will be back when I am
better. You have to give it up. You must be sorry for what you did to me and
how you made me feel. You make me sick, you took my very heart. You are
selfish and you are cruel, you must be sorry.
Messenger: If you don't leave, I shall expel you and that will hurt a lot. I
have been holding back as not to hurt you. Go home now, ask Swami to
forgive you and give you peace. You have abused his blessings. You cannot
do that and stay continuously well. Talk to your husband, stay away from
me. You are not rational nor are you pleasant. I do not know what is wrong
with you, but you are no longer welcome. You have to leave immediately,
never to return like this. You shall never be allowed again to breach me and
get away with it. Leave now.

(I was making an extreme effort to control and restrain myself, convinced

that real Lakieya has no idea of what is happening, but may still be adversely
affected, if I exercise any power as to expel or to defend and purify. It
happened before; I was resolved to be as careful and as restrained as possible,
but still get my message across, while causing no damage. In response to my
words, the angel grew darker and more intense, the heat waves going through
it intensified, so did the fluctuation of the image. It must be taking it some
effort to stay where it did and not to get expelled as before.)

Angel: You think you are so good, but you are not. You think you won
and you are not even sorry. You think you are beautiful, but you are ugly and
you are mean, and inconsiderate, and selfish. I thought you were my friend.
I thought you loved and cherished me; I even loved you back. I no longer
love you. You have not changed a bit. You're still possessive, selfish; you
think you are the best. I saw you die before, I'll see you die again, before you
triumph. You'll never win, you'll never have what's mine. I worked too hard
for it and I deserve to have it.
Messenger: Are we now discussing an object?

(To my absolute horror, the image changed again, this time into a dark
angel with very pale but beautiful face, black wings and strength of anger and
malice I could clearly feel. There were no distortions at this time, I saw him
clearly. I was not afraid of him, but of what his domineering presence may
do to ever so fragile and susceptible Lakieya. In a few moments, the image
changed back into the previous angelic form that was no longer distorted.
My fear must have diminished my protection, but I was not afraid for myself
at all.)

Dark angel: We are not discussing anything and you are still a bitch.
You have not changed and nothing changed at all. I'm still his wife and you
are still his whore. That will never change, I'll see to that. He loves me first,
he loves me most, he is my life and he will never leave me. I'll see to that no
matter what it takes. I promise you, you will be sorry.

(The image was now changing continuously between the dark male angel
and the more timid female form, as steady as a heartbeat.)

Messenger: I know now you are very sick. You should attune to Swami
and beg forgiveness, and enlightenment, and strength. Talk to your husband
honestly, he will be able to help you. You do not sound like yourself.
Dark angel: You think I'm weak, but I am not. You think I'm stupid and
ignorant. I see like you can see, I know what you know. I have my means
just like you have your means. You could not burn me out of your space, he
would not let you. Not now, not ever. I'll make my presence known. I will
be wise; I will be strong; I will be self sufficient. I will be all he needs and
more. I will be you for him and better, if I must. You shall not win, I shall
not perish. You think you know me, but you don't. You only see what I
allow you to see. You are too ignorant to know real me, but you are like an
open book; I read it many times and many times I spit on those pages. I will
again. I always was his queen and still I am, you always been his whore and
you shall die as such again, and I will spit into your dust just as I did before
so many times, and he will never know, or miss you, or remember. He never
did. I always been his bride. I thought you learned, I thought you
understood, but you are ignorant and weak, and no match for me again. You
think he will believe you? I dare you, you stupid bitch, come out of your
gold and face me, and we shall see who is the queen and who is dust. You
cannot hide from me, you aren't good enough. Your stupid union is sin in the
eyes of God, our union was blessed by God and Swami. Our union is real
and supreme, no matter where he spends his nights or whom he f***. Our
union is Divine, and blessed, and perfect, and you shall be cast out once
again, and slayed, and burned, and hanged, and never spoken of or thought of
in our presence.
Messenger: How do you see your viciousness rewarded by Swami or by
God? I wonder.
Dark angel: Defense is just; defense is of the Lord; defense is sacred. I
am in perfect right to keep what's truly mine and fight against intruders. You
think I will be sick tonight? I will be very well; I will be strong and shining,
and loving as I am, and in my right I shall emerge victorious again, when you
are dust again, surrounded by your grieving angels. They cannot touch me,
don't you know? They cannot help you, cannot do a thing in your defense;
they never did before; and all of you, surrounded by rules you cannot breach;
will watch me triumph once again, I promise. So keep your gold and write
your stupid books. They will be mine some day, when you are dust, but I am
still his wife and heir, and partner in his life and wisdom, and in his bed. And
if so happens that he grieves for you, it shall be I who wipes his tears with all
my quiet undisputed love and loyalty. I am forgiveness, and support, and
loyalty, and strength, and consolation. You are a fool again. Keep writing,
compromise yourself; I dare you to read to him these pages. I am his
favorite, his darling and his blood; I represent his never-ending effort and I
should be his triumph once again, while you are dust again. He shall be back,
don't worry. The certainty of it is in your hands and when I see them open
once again, then I will know you have served your purpose. I have to leave
you now, on my terms and in my time. I will be back when I decide you are
ready. Believe me, I shall see you fall, I've done it many times and never
have you stopped me. I see you are speechless, good. Your pain is back. Go
cry some now to your angels.

He was gone in a flash of light that ended in a short burst of fire. I was
devastated. The malice of the encounter was overwhelming, but I would not
dare to call for any angelic aid or do anything to purge and purify myself,
since my concern for Lakieya was prevailing. In other words, I have
submitted to an attack, but I did not have to. I called David immediately and
asked about Lakieya and her well being. He said she was extremely well,
indeed. That did not comfort me. I cautiously asked him, if he thought that
any mundane projection may be striving towards light and making progress,
while the angelic host was not at all. He asked if I meant the other way
around, but I said no. He said that since they are a higher form of beings,
closer to Divinity and God's will, he does not see this kind of imbalance
happening, unless fallen, and I should not exert my mind with idle
speculations. He mentioned then, that he was beginning to make some
arrangements as to the future of our work and that Lakieya was to be a part of
it as not for her to feel further excluded. I almost fainted, but contained
myself, and told him that since I also have a vote in this, I absolutely am
against her involvement in any shape or form in our work, since it had
nothing whatsoever to do with her, nor have she contributed anything to it. I
offered to withdraw myself from any part of the work or any legal
arrangements also, as not to create imbalance. Let it all be up to him alone
and in his name alone. His response was cold, but he consented, no doubt
thinking me possessive and unkind, but I have consented much in resent past
and I was adamant at the expense of my own interests. So he reluctantly
agreed, saying that he will find something else to involve her in that would be
of service to him and would not involve me at all, as to keep us both content.
That kind of hurt, but not as much as a possibility of breach of our work
would hurt us both, if it ever had transpired. I could not talk to David. What
could I say? That Lakieya, in her openness and naive way have allowed
malicious beings to infiltrate her and that her angel host completely did not
mind? He has repeated many times to me before with total confidence, that
one redeeming quality the woman has always possessed is her absence of
malice. I was no longer sure of that and it was not the kind of doubt I wished
to share unconfirmed. I am so tired of being the bad news bearer all the
time. I was concerned it may arouse suspicions as of my motives and intent,
or even my own benevolence, if I insist on breaching his convictions of her
ever-present and uncompromising goodness towards all. I simply could not
do it, so I did not say a word. I was confused, and hurt, and devastated, but
silent for a time.
 Angelic Disclosure on the Malice & My
Silence
I could not talk to David, but to the Angel I had to talk. I needed
understanding, information and confirmation or denial. I would have
preferred the last, but was afraid to hope.

Messenger: Comment on what have transpired.

Ariel: You saw the face of enemy and wept. That’s what have
transpired.
Messenger: How come you have not warned us directly?
Ariel: I've done it time and again, as much as I have been allowed and
then some. You have to learn to see the truth yourselves and not rely on us
for information. For comment, yes, or better explanation, but news must
come to you as news, those are the rules.
Messenger: You said, you don't imply malice. The Master said they are
not an enemy. Have you lied?
Ariel: The Master said you disallowed them to be the enemy, that's all.
You disallow any enemies, because you are of goodness and goodness only
you relate to, or not at all. If we implied no malice all those times, it does not
mean it was not present, only that it was not mentioned or implied. We may
not mention totally unknown, reserved and hidden, but there were many
hints.
Messenger: You told the story that was totally unknown, it did not stop
you.
Ariel: He knew the story, but he was in denial; you guessed it, but felt
guilty and ashamed for your supposed meanness. That's why you got
severely upset. You felt we played upon your darkest corners and reinforced
them. He is not judging of the truth and will accept no matter how it seems,
if it is logical, and verifiable, and simple. The malice was denied by both of
you in its entirety, and while so, no mention must be made of the unknown.
Messenger: It can't be true. The Swami blessed her many times, His
presence graces her and all she does is serve. That is not the sign of
viciousness that I supposedly encountered. She does believe.
 Ariel: You see, but you don't see. Prior to his arrival in her life, she was
in active search of him to be her donor, just as were you in active search of
him. Concealment must be more than just skin deep. Sophistication would
have been a suspect combined with weakness, but not naivety, simplicity and
lust, and never-ending hunger for the light. That was accepted and embraced
and fed. Concealment grew, the need have crystallized, his God became her
God and she was reached and breached. She gained an opportunity, a
chance, the Avatar have brought it to the surface, allowing the entity that
walks to see, and touch, and change, and grow. On the angelic no strive was
made, resentment grew against our very efforts; the entity that walks
collapsed under the weight of the enormous conflict.
Messenger: So you admit that the mundane projection is not in touch
with the malicious entity of your plane.
Ariel: The mundane projection is very much in touch with its source of
strength, or weakness, as it is, and always have been. At this late date, with
all the efforts spent, she is largely in complete denial and almost complete
rejection of the messages received and urges felt. It wasn't always so. Before
the God projection touched her heart, she was not much bothered by her
conscience when her desires were in play. You have to try to see a bigger
picture. Specific qualities were specifically produced for the security of the
specific plans to manifest without much denials, much scrutiny, or
questioning, or probing. The bait was set just so, of weakness, tenderness,
attractiveness, simplicity, compliance and overwhelming beauty. You bought
the package and he bought it more, and even now in some ways you still are
buying it. Mundane projection had to be largely independent of its angelic
host, as not to bring suspicion or doubt of its origins; and even though in
times that passed some things were so quietly accomplished and very well
concealed, no real question was ever raised as to her real origins. You saw it
and still are in denial. You questioned it so subtly and were rejected, as you
expected. So it is.
Messenger: That's why you were always so adamantly against his quest
to serve her needs and offered no aid at any time. That's why you always
sounded so funny when talking about the angelic form and so evasive. I see.
Ariel: The baby that have never quite grew up is not a nice and cuddly
little angel. It is a pit of darkness and denials, and selfishness, and cruelty,
and lust. His light had been its source of nourishment and growth for
countless times, and so was yours. The progress was continuously impeded
and sabotaged at large in its weaker link that usually was you, not always,
though.
Messenger: That's why Drizella challenged it and you did not stop her.
Ariel: It was a futile effort even then, when you were not as yet perceived
as real threat. Back then, you still were perceived as very breakable by
weakness and by needs and by assumed responsibilities, and if need be, direct
assault on you and your compassion.
Messenger: I, then, perceived no threat.
Ariel: When you arrived, there was not any. Intent, released with
marvelous precision, of course was present, but the source of the intent
already was concealed in the benign and hidden well, as always. That's why I
have evoked the space to take you off that plane and out of the tent. I could
allow no interaction and no contact between you and the angelic host. That
could have easily confused you even further and definitely contaminated
you. What you perceived in that encounter besides for love, was power of
protection and defense, the active force of passion to preserve, and save, and
cleanse, and separate all pure from impure.
Messenger: I felt the passion, I could not name it.
Ariel: That is OK, my Love. What are you planning to do with your
discoveries? Conceal them, I suppose?
Messenger: For a time. He must acquire understanding of the concealed
malice independently of me. I will not be a bad news bearer yet again. I still
can't believe it. Are you upset with my choices?
Ariel: Not entirely. Independent discovery will make an impact larger
that the given information, of course. However, it may be damaging. The
process of discovery may not be as benign as you envision.
Messenger: I shall be watching closely. I do not cherish keeping secrets
at this point. What about the boy? Tell me the truth, what is behind him, the
bird-man?
Ariel: My dear girl, bring me a certainty and I will confirm or deny it, do
not bring me speculations. You know the rules.
Messenger: Was my vision about the priest a message of a wolf in
sheep's clothing? No wonder I feel the need to not allow her nowhere near
the books.
Ariel: A good idea to protect the books, a very good idea. As for the
vision, watch and you shall see, all things will show themselves in their
proper timing.
 Messenger: You think he knows I have concealed?
Ariel: He knows.
Messenger: Then help me, please. You watched me as I tried to talk. It
made no impact, as I knew it would not. I can entirely relate to that. He has
to see it for himself in all its vicious glory, then I will share. I will watch my
back. How disagreeable it is to you, my Love?
Ariel: Somewhat, but not entirely. It is his last attachment he is so
striving to give up. The goodness is continuously exhibited and beauty, if
somewhat confused and tarnished, still shines abundant. He sees, but he don't
see.
Messenger: Then, it is agreed upon?
Ariel: As you desire.
Messenger: Will you help me? Do not let him sense concealment until
the time is right.
Ariel: My dear, I do not conspire to keep truth away from myself.
Messenger: Then help him see what I saw, help him understand.
Ariel: That I may aspire. After all, when one of you possesses
information, the other knows also, by default. It would not really be news,
but confirmation. I shall attempt to make the message known, if you just go
away and get some rest. You have been taxing yourself unnecessarily and
keeping nasty secrets creates a drain of its very own.
Messenger: Please see to it that the drain may cease as soon as possible.
Ariel: Agreed, my Love. Good night. Don't be upset, please, all is
always well.
Messenger: Before you go, one final point, please. I understand that the
vision of a dark angel with black wings is not her representation; it was
projected upon her due to her openness and weakness. Am I right?
Ariel: In part you are, but not completely. If no malice have existed in
the host and light have been embraced with no restrictions, the demon force
could not have entered and took command. It was invited by her hatefulness
of you and inability to act upon that feeling, but the desire was quite present.
And that, my dear, constitutes an invitation: a cry for help was heard and
answered in full force
Messenger: And now what? Is the link permanent? How would it affect
mundane representation, and non suspecting David is also my concern.
Ariel: I have no idea. Some strength have been acquired in mundane,
due to his ever present efforts; but then, it has to bring confusion and many
negative emotions will undoubtedly arise. I do not know how they will be
dealt with, disclosed or concealed; and David may perceive some things have
been transpiring behind the obvious and seen. Maybe a secret is not a good
idea after all.
Messenger: I promise I shall disclose at the first possible opportunity.
You have my word.
Ariel: You are exhausted, please, go rest. Relax your mind; contain your
fears; regain your peace again. I am relieved the information was disclosed, I
do not cherish secrets also any more.
Messenger: And my son?
Ariel: This talk is over now, go and rest. You are relentless, pushy and
exhausted. Come back when you are more refreshed and we shall talk some
more. Not now.

I was exhausted and confused; I also had no idea how the opportunity may
present itself if I keep quiet. I have decided to give it some time, observe and
ask a lot of questions as to assess if David's disposition was changing any
towards the questions that I asked; or if something in Lakieya's behavior
would arouse a suspicion of any kind as to the supposed depths of her actual
goodness. In any case, I was unconvinced of the correctness of my approach
or my actions, but I could not bring myself to speak.
 Master’s Exposition on Entities &
Reprimand
The days were passing and nothing was transpiring. I knew David was
suspicious of my silence, but true to form, he would not really pry. I felt so
guilty about keeping secrets and about what this future revelation would
undoubtedly do to David's conviction of Lakieya's benevolence, or even
mine. I knew he would be disappointed with my silence, or maybe even hurt
by the perceived mistrust, but I could not help myself. I have decided, that
those events were nothing but a ploy to scare and misinform me, that they
were nothing but a projection, put into my mind as to sabotage, fracture
loyalties and confuse. Distraught, I went to see the Master to have my latest
suspicions confirmed.

Messenger: I'm really sorry to disturb you about something so personal,

but comment please, on what have happened. I don't believe it.
Master: What is it you do not believe?
Messenger: That awful talk I had with the angelic being.
Master: So, you are in doubts of your gifts and your perceptions yet
again.
Messenger: This is beyond 6 billion + suspects. This is someone I know,
love and trust. She is caring, loving and devoted. Some selfishness exists,
but no more. She wants to serve and strives to be unselfish. It does not
coincide with what I saw.

( My phone have rung; it was David. He said, we needed to talk. I told him
that I could not talk right now and I shall call him back when I am done. I
guess, the opportunity have just presented itself. I could not show him this
discourse without telling of the two previous ones. My goose was cooked,
although I did not yet know how badly it was to be cooked. I had to find
some answers and resolutions now. The Master was displeased to the
extreme by the interruption and by my behavior all together.)

Master: You interrupted me.

 Messenger: I am sorry.
Master: You keep a secret.
Messenger: Only until I'm sure; until I talk to you.
Master: What is it you expect to be sure of? You presume to know what
lays in deepest parts of someone's heart, while only recently you have
discovered you did not know what was in your own. You are reacting to the
appearances, my dear.
Messenger: Not so, not totally. I am relying on his observations and
insights, on his perceptions. We have discussed her daily. She exhibits
meteoric progress, she is trying hard.
Master: I have not met her yet, as hard as she is trying. Why so, I
wonder?
Messenger: Master, with all due respect, this is not the point. Please
explain to me what have happened, how true it is, or was it just some evil
projection as to confuse and to derail me?
Master: You are mistrusting Ariel again. You asked him first, but did
not like the answer. You want a different one? I can oblige. It's all a lie and
you were simply dreaming; your fears got the best of you again. Feel better
now? Why don't you burn those pages? You are good at that -- deny, deny,
deny.
Messenger: Please, just explain the incident, then you can call me
anything you see fit; I probably deserve it.
Master: As you insist. The lady in mundane is sweet and loving and
totally dependent on her mate. No part of her would even contemplate not
having him forever. His actions lately tell her otherwise and she is searching
for the internal flaw or fault that changed his mood towards her. She cannot
find one. As always, she complies with what he says, more so, because she
voices no resentments. She is progressing better than before, she is adjusting
to whatever he insists on, but all the while she is doing all she can, he is
becoming increasingly distant and more withdrawn than ever. She has the
questions she is afraid to ask, but she desires any explanation. Maybe his
work is taking too much toll, or maybe it is somebody else, or maybe you?
You work together closely, but it is carefully concealed from her and
seemingly no communication exists between you two, but the work is still
progressing. She is away, suspicious and afraid, and saddened by her lack of
any closeness. What is he up to? She cannot bare ask. What are you up to?
She wants to serve him, but it is you who's serving him, in ways she cannot
contemplate or fathom, and you are close and connected, that she knows.
What do you think is happening to her? She must be loyal to her God and to
her mate, to you she bares no obligation. She is resentful, scared and upset,
and open to all and any entrance. She is unstable, easy to affect and
influence. On the angelic it is worse that that. The angels never trusted her
or liked her and no aid is offered there, because no aid is sought, just support,
and they don't do support, especially not now. Angelic being is aware of the
process, Drizella stated it herself some time ago. There is no hope and no
illusions available there any more, but the request remains: I need support
and nurture, I need much help accomplishing my goals. Well, you know,
dear, who is offering support and wish fulfillment and asks for nothing back.
Messenger: Why doesn't someone help angelic being? Is it too much to
ask?
Master: Somebody did, of course.
Messenger: But why not you?
Master: I do not do desires, and needfulness without effort answer not. I
only manifest what is evoked. I never heard "Oh, help me God!", I only
heard "Please, help me!". There is a difference, you know. Specify. But
even then, enlightenment is not asked for, proliferation of what was I cannot
grant. All that is sought actively on every plane, is a continuation of what
was, but no longer is; not truth, not light, not growth, not independence.
That, my dear, is not my domain. I do not do regressions; I don't prolong the
past into the future, and if the truth is not desired, the consequences I will
manifest, but it is not what is being sought here. Don't you now see: denial of
the truth, desire to preserve what had been long gone, fear to see what truly
is, combined with openness, and wishfulness, and clinging. And don't forget
resentments towards you and jealousy towards your gifts and progress. Who
do you think will come to help her case, if help on the outside is asked for?
How hard is it to understand?
Messenger: But the mundane representation exhibits none of the qualities
I saw. She'd never use the nasty words or harbor nasty thoughts like those.
Regardless of her resentments, she does not wish me dead.
Master: What does she wish you, stupid? Not in so many words, not in
"Drop dead in front of me", of course, but "Wouldn't it be nice if she was
gone and all was as it used to be".
Messenger: Who does not think that when threatened?
Master: You don't. Have I at last said enough to please you?
 Messenger: I do not mean to anger you. All that stuff is -- just seems so
unreal.
Master: I think it is time to tell you like it is: go home, my dear, get some
rest and sleep, because right now you are just annoying. You do not seek the
truth or explanations; you seek denials. They are not to come. You are
imposing on the covenant and are one step away from abusing it. This
discussion is permanently closed, never to be mentioned again. I have never
been quite as displeased with you as I am right now. You may come back
when you are in search of truth, not validation of your views; confirmation of
your inadequacies. Good night.

Essentially, I have got myself kicked out with the worst reprimand ever.
That shall really go good with David, in addition to what I have already
done. I had to gather all my might and call him with the explanations. I said,
that this discourse will not make any sense, unless I read him two previous
discourses. In icy voice he had announced, that his earlier call was to
confront my concealment, so he is ready now to be informed, if I am ready to
inform him. After the first conversation, he inquired, if a knife in his back
while he slept would be a good opportunity for me to enlighten him as to how
and why he acquired it. He said, he sensed some changes in Lakieya, but
could not react or readjust, since he was unaware of what caused them. The
foul language did not sway him, nor the viciousness of the intent. He said,
she knows not what she invites or how she invites, but it is up to him to deal
with the consequences and neutralize them. After the second one, he was
surprised at Ariel to consent to me keeping secrets, even for a while. He said,
he was aware that he was being reached on higher planes, but did not retain
the information given. He stated that he still was sure, that if it was possible
to provoke Lakieya into malice, it would have been tried and done already,
but her weakness, if nothing else, will totally preclude it, so I have nothing to
worry about. He have insisted, that I stay completely close to her at all times;
do not think of her; do not inquire; do not sympathize or empathize and if
anything I need to know shall transpire, he will inform me at the proper time.
Right! He has ignored, of course, that he would not have the warning and the
explanation he now had, if I was closed to her as he insisted, nor could he
now readjust and neutralize what he would not know was existing. But,
never mind, I was not adding oil to the fire, or more appropriately, ice to
polar caps. After the third discourse his anger, well in check before, was
apparent, as much as he would deny it to his last breath. He said that no one
and nothing is worth endangering the covenant or imposing upon the Master's
graces; or exhibit mistrust in Ariel again, as I have done. He coldly
calculated exactly how many hours or maybe days I have actually spent with
Lakieya in the 18 years we knew each other and asked how did she inspired
such loyalty in me? I said that it was his loyalty to her that have inspired it
largely, that if he deems her worthy of his never-ending effort despite
whatever shortcomings she may have, she must be the most special person I
have the privilege to know. That warmed him some, but not enough. He
insisted, that I forget all about that and treat her in the future on her merits
that she earned with me, not him, which were few, if any. He had reminded
me how helpful and instrumental she always was in keeping us apart and thus
negating our true quest entirely. I thought about it and he was right. The
only times she ever sought my company, was when she needed or wanted
something; she never thanked me for anything, that was also true. She wasn't
anyone who was ever there in times of my need, or did she ever know I had
any. That helped me quite a bit to put my worries and agitation to rest, get
her off my mind completely and move on pass all this unpleasantness.
 Illusionary Beauty of Planet Earth &
Compassion
Few days have passed and I was hoping the Master have forgiven me my
actions. When I have arrived to see him, there was a little round pond right
in the middle of all that sand. Lovely, red, unusual looking flowers were
almost covering the surface of the water, which I mistook for some strange
water lilies, but later find out to be a rare variety of lotus. The Master was
sitting at the edge of the pond, his feet in the water. The scene was serene
and peaceful. I have attempted to greet him, then sat next to him in the sand.
I guess I've learned not to be surprised by appearances after all.

Messenger: I'm sorry for annoying you.

Master: It's quite all right. Feel better now?
Messenger: I did not feel bad before.
Master: You still don't comprehend the concept.
Messenger: Of what?
Master: Existence of your plane. It is completely and entirely deceptive.
The best have fallen to the majesty and glory of the illusionary beauty of your
plane. Look at the flowers, they are totally enchanting. They are beautiful
and seemingly benign, but try to walk through them: your feet will get
entangled in their stems and you may drown; your body will supply the
nutrients for their further growth. Their roots are in the mud, you know. Yet,
they don't wish to kill you, they wish to grow, bloom and reproduce. They
are not evil nor are they openly malicious; they certainly are beautiful and
only if you choose to get entangled in their midths, do they present a danger.
Messenger: Am I that stupid to deserve this lecture?
Master: You are not stupid, you are selective. You choose to see the sun
that makes them bloom and you like to appreciate their beauty, but you never
wish to see the mud from which they grow and murky water that sustains
them. The vast majority of beings on your plane are firmly rooted in duality,
confusion and fed by selfishness, and even though some of them are rather
beautiful, their beauty is skin deep. They strive and try and even shine for
very selfish reasons; their love for God is predicated on their needs of
personal security and wish fulfillment. Once those are threatened, most of
them will doubt and question and offer deals, if not begin to curse the very
God they loved when they have prospered. They are limited, conditional and
self absorbed; they wish for donors, miracles and leaders, and even in their
most altruistic gestures, they are at large self serving. You understand,
compassion is largely based on inability to witness suffering perceived. It is
indiscriminate, it does not take into account the need for lessons given.
Compassion, if you really dig deep, is no more than silent rebellion; attempt
to contradict the will of God and law of karma. Any attempt to willfully
improve the will of God is ego based, however well concealed, and is an
exhibition of weakness. Much karma is written by compassion, but then,
much karma is alleviated by it also. It is an evolutionary step I hope you
have transcended.
Messenger: So, see a drowning man, do not extend a hand?
Master: Don't be ridiculous. Is it not a will of God that you are on a solid
ground and have a strong and willing arm to give? If he was meant to drown,
you would be far away, or deaf, or in a cast.
Messenger: Where do you draw the line?
Master: At honest effort, not predicated on your presence or your help.
Do not aspire to become their god or their savior. You know well you cannot
have this job; however, you may aspire, many do. It is quite lucrative. It
offers much emotional rewards and much admiration, if one is humble; and if
one is greedy, there is no limit to what one may acquire. The governments
are sanctioning it freely; it isn't even taxed. Why don't you face it, dear. The
very best you presently know desire your acquired wisdom to simplify their
life and answer their questions. No one you know is interested in acquisition
of wisdom themselves. At best they think you strange, at worst they hate
you; but you don't ever quit.
Messenger: You said yourself, I no longer bleed.
Master: That is so. You do not bleed; you do not interfere; you haven't
jumped the gun in quite some time; but in your mercy you are as giving as
you were in your compassion. It is limitless and never-ending. I will repeat
what Ariel have said: think of yourself, my dear, at least some times and
focus on your needs. You are not being appreciated, you know.
Messenger: I know. I am not after appreciation or even
acknowledgment. Anonymity is rather comfortable. Tell me please, am I
impeding our progress and our power of manifestation by being too
scattered?
Master: By being too magnanimous, you mean? In part, of course, but
not entirely. An undisclosed circumstance exists, not seen at this time by
either one of you, that is precluding some material manifestation, due to
potential detriment involved. Examine cautiously and you may see it; it may
be is too obvious to see.
Messenger: Why have our work somewhat stalled? Is it because I have
not sufficiently comprehended and assimilated previous discourses?
Master: Are you not sufficiently involved compiling what is already
given? Take care of what is, then we shall move ahead. Your expectations
of yourself are never-ending and always rising. Ease off a little, give yourself
a break; you are exhausted. You need some quiet time of no obligations and
few responsibilities.
Messenger: I so agree with you, but there are always bills, they are quite
relentless.
Master: My dear, freedom manifests when it is seen, known and
exhibited, not the other way around. As long as limitations are acted upon
and sustained, manifestation of unlimited is either karmic, either accidental.
The first does not apply to you, the second is a game of chance and odds will
wary by so many unforeseen things, that even I shall not attempt to guess it.
A certainty requires Self -- a certainty. Anything less than that is anything
and nothing. Am I making sense to you?
Messenger: Somewhat. May I just get up and move without waiting for
things to happen?
Master: Only if it is prudent, as the moment stands. Don't be inpatient;
don't be complacent also, that goes for both of you. You need some serious
recharging; you've been too tired for too long. It is beginning to take a toll.
You are emotionally drained. Much of your loyalties that were your very
nature, have been eroded and compromised, a lot of them by me. As needed
as it was, you need some time to find better balance and get accustomed to
the new position you find yourself in. Don't rush, don't push, just take it
easy. Reclaim your joy, express your beauty and be your happiness. Forget
your duty for a while; it will wait. The lady needs some rest, some
contemplation, maybe a little play. Allow the adjustments needed to take
effect. Enjoy yourself, relax, do nothing for a day without feeling guilty.
Remember how it feels?
Messenger: Not really, its been a while.
 Master: Then, on this note, good night. I think we covered all your
misgivings and your rebellion is over. Get some rest. I order some
tranquility and peace. Will you obey?
Messenger: Yes, Master.

(I got a hug and a kiss good bye and left feeling rather happy, in firm
decision to relax and take it easy, as I have been told.)
 Thank you for seeking Truth.

We have bared our souls to share the Prototype of the Twin Flames Quest
as we were asked: To awaken and inspire those who have any Quest, but are
entrapped.

Each Quest is unique but the Prototype is the same. So Be Blessed by

what is Divinely given. The Awakening!
 Books In This Series
Twin Flames: Our Quest of Union
An Encyclopedia of information A - Z, never before revealed that will help
those who choose to fulfill their own personal Divine Spiritual Quest,
whatever it may be, by the Divine Blueprint revealed about life on Planet
Earth. The revelations of who, what, when, why of our planetary existence
and gauntlet of suffering, and the knowledge & wisdom needed on how to
safely walk the road to Liberation, Transcendence & Happiness.

TWIN FLAMES: A Step By Step into Self

Realization OUR QUEST
A private Spiritual Journey that The Master asked us to share that Now
fulfills His Intent and Promises made when He walked as Yeshua with Mary
of Magdala: To Reveal All thats Hidden & Unveil the Spiritual Laws of “The
Truth that Sets you Free” for those seekers who choose to inquire, remember,
embrace and follow His knowledge, experience, Wisdom and guidance!